#but then as soon as I worked on some the anesthesia started to wear off and I felt a pain again and

[fadelsburger]

Sometimes I get reminded again why I do things less

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

I Can't Say Part 3 (Finale)

Summary: Everyone is waiting for Reader to wake up after surgery. Eddie finds out what has been causing her behavior and as soon as she wakes up he apologizes for doubting her. She knows she'll never lose him again after what he does next.

TW/CW: Eddie Diaz x Reader, Make Up, Injured Reader, Hospital Setting

Requested?: No   

Word Count: 3,194

A/N: Our grand total of words for this trilogy is 11,325… I’m ngl was kinda stuck on how I’d get from break up to make up but then I was rewatching season 2 the other night and well… Earthquake it is. Anyways, hope you enjoy the read! Love to all! Requests are Open!

Part 1

Part 2

--- Third Person POV --- 

Hours later, the team has been given the go ahead to go home but every one of them is heading to the hospital in hopes of seeing (Y/N). Hen cleared it with Bobby first but decided it was best if she stayed with Eddie who has been pacing the waiting room the entire time since they sent (Y/N) back. She had sent messages to everyone she could think of, letting them know which hospital they’re at and keeping them updated. Unfortunately, the phones have only just now been able to start working again. Her phone begins exploding with notifications. Carla is bringing Chris as well as a change of clothes for Eddie. Athena says she and the kids are on the way but stopping for coffee and snacks. Karen confirms she’s getting Denny and Mara in the car now with a change of clothes for Hen. Maddie and Jee are on their way too. Every single person that Hen texted, responds except for the 118 members, Talia, and Tommy who all changed out of their gear as soon as they got to the station and piled into Bobby’s truck and Buck’s Jeep. 

Those who responded all trickle in with Athena, May, and Harry bringing up the rear as they drop several bags of snacks and a couple gallons of cold brew on the coffee table that everyone has gathered around. Carla and Chris have convinced Eddie, who is now nursing a cup of cold brew, to sit down and are posted on either side of him, Carla rubbing his back and Chris holding his hand tightly. Karen and Hen are playing patty cake with Jee while Maddie begs the nursing staff for an update. Harry, Denny, and Mara are quietly discussing some video game while they snack. Athena and May share a look before they make their way over to Maddie and gently tug her back to the group. It seems everyone lets out a breath they had been holding when the group of firefighters step through the glass doors. The waiting room is brought to life as everyone greets each other. Eddie on the other hand is rooted to his seat and staring at the floor. 

Just as Bobby is about to place his hand on Eddie’s shoulder, the doctor enters the waiting room. Everyone waits with bated breath as he approaches them, Talia and Eddie both rushing to meet him. He looks around at the rather large group before chuckling, “You’re all here for (Y/N) (Y/L/N)?” Several in the group nod so he continues, “Good. She��s out of surgery. It was a little touch and go but she’s stable. The anesthesia will wear off soon but, due to the amount of blood she lost, it may take her some time to wake up. Once we get her settled into a room, I’ll let you all know.” Everyone nods in understanding and releases the breath they were holding. A few of them thank the doctor as he walks away. Eddie drops back into a chair, laying his head back against the wall, and grabs hold of Christopher’s hand again. Talia is pulls Tommy away from the group to ask him what’s going on between (Y/N) and Eddie, soon finding herself in tears upon hearing the news. Tommy pulls her into a tight hug, hating that he had to break it to her. The others strike up conversations to pass the time. 

A short while later, the doctor returns to the group, “She’s in a room. Anesthesia should be worn off but as I explained earlier, she’s not awake yet. That being said, you can see her now but you’ll have to take turns. I don’t want more than two or three in there at a time. You can find her in room A204.” As he departs, Eddie kisses the top of Christopher’s head and heads to her room.  

Everyone else has their eyes on Talia who hasn’t moved a muscle. Tommy places his hand on her shoulder, “Go.” She looks up at him and around the group with uncertainty but with a nod from Bobby she’s off toward the room as well. 

When Talia enters the room, Eddie is sitting in a chair on the opposite side of the bed from the door. He is holding (Y/N)’s hand tightly, tears streaming down his face, and mumbling under his breath, “(Y/N) please, you gotta wake up for me.” She takes a seat on the other side of the bed and the room falls silent aside from the steady beep of the heart monitor. 

A few moments pass before he clears his throat, “If it weren’t for you, she- she wouldn’t be alive right now.” 

Fresh tears paint her cheeks as she looks down at her lap, “If it weren’t for me, she wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.” 

He looks at her, head titled, “What do you mean?” 

“If it weren’t for me, the love of her life wouldn’t have broken up with her, she wouldn’t have been in that therapy office, and she wouldn’t have been run through with rebar,” she admits, struggling to get the words out through her tears. He is immensely confused at first but she clarifies before he can ask, “A few weeks ago I called her because I needed someone to keep me from hurting myself. She came no questions asked. She’s been stopping by to check on me a lot. She always answers the phone when I need her. Selfishly, I made her promise not to tell anyone because I didn’t want my team finding out.” Eddie’s heart breaks as he realizes but she continues, “If it weren’t for me, she wouldn’t be in this mess.” 

He reaches his hand across the bed for Talia’s who hesitantly takes it. He looks her dead in the eyes, “You cannot blame yourself for any of this. You did the best thing you could which was ask for help when you needed it. You don’t know where she would’ve been if not in that office with you. It could- it could’ve been much worse.” He pauses for a moment, looking back at (Y/N), “I wish I would’ve just believed and trusted her when she said she had a good reason.” 

Talia wipes her tears away; she still feels terrible about everything but knows (Y/N) would’ve told her the same exact thing that Eddie did. She squeezes his hand gently, “I know I’m not around you and the rest of her new family that much but I’ve heard a lot about everyone.” He looks up at her and she continues, “I’ve heard more about you and Chris than anyone else. She always has a blindingly bright smile on her face when she tells me about you two and I know without a shadow of a doubt that she loves you more than life itself.” Eddie nods as Talia squeezes his hand once more before dropping it and standing up to leave. Before she opens the door, she stops and looks back at him, “She still does. She wouldn’t hesitate for a second to take you back. Hell, I don’t even think she even let you go.”  

Eddie kisses (Y/N) knuckles as Talia leaves, “I don’t deserve it but I hope to god you can forgive me for being so stupid...” 

It’s not long before the door opens again, this time by Buck and Tommy. Eddie does his best to slap on a smile when he sees Chris right behind them. He watches his son take the seat Talia had been in previously and grab hold of (Y/N)’s hand, “Is she gonna be okay?” he asks hopefully looking up at his father.  

Eddie nods reassuringly, “Yeah, she’s just sleeping so her body can recover.” 

Chris nods and looks down at where his hand meets hers, “Where’s her bracelet?” 

“They had to take it off so it wouldn’t get messed up during the surgery and recovery,” Eddie responds. In his peripheral, he sees Buck and Tommy patiently waiting their turn. 

Chris seems deep in thought for a few seconds before stating, “She’s gonna kick their asses when she finds out. I gotta fix it.” With this, he gets up and exits the room on a mission. Buck goes after him, motioning for Eddie to stay put. 

It’s quiet again as Eddie and Tommy listen to the steady beep of her heart. Finally, Tommy takes a seat. Eddie makes eye contact with him, “I’m sorry. Talia told me everything. I know I fucked up and I know she means the world to you.” 

Tommy looks over at (Y/N) face and reaches up to brush her hair out of her eyes as he thinks. Taking a deep breath, he responds, “Just promise me that the next time you think about doing something stupid, we hit the mat first so I can knock some sense into you.” 

Eddie chuckles, nodding, “I will.” It’s quiet again while Eddie debates with himself before finally pulling something out of his pocket and handing it to Tommy, “Does this count as something stupid?” 

Tommy looks down at the ring box in his hand as his smile grows. After opening it, he answers, “Never in a million years.” He closes the box and hands it back to Eddie, “But you should know that Buck was looking forward to helping you pick it out. He’s gonna be heart broken.” 

Eddie puts the box back in his pocket, “Technically, he did help me pick it out. Whether he remembers that or not is a different story.” 

Tommy knits his brows together in confusion, “What?” 

Eddie smiles, “I went with him when he bought you that bracelet a while back. He was looking through the cases while we waited on them to bag it up. I was zoned out thinking about (Y/N) when he slapped me on the shoulder and very excitedly pointed at a specific ring saying, ‘(Y/N) would love this one!’” 

Tommy shakes his head chuckling, “So, you bought it?” 

Eddie shrugs, “Not right then but after a few days of constantly thinking about it, I had to.” Tommy laughs but Eddie’s face drops. At the tilt of Tommy’s head, Eddie adds, “I held onto it, trying to find the right time to ask her but then she started acting weird and...” 

Tommy sighs, “You still have it though. You didn’t let her go.” 

Eddie shakes his head, “I couldn’t. I broke up with her because I was scared of getting hurt but it hurt so much more to do so. I thought maybe if I just distanced myself from her for a while that it would stop but if anything, it got worse.” He takes a deep breath, “I just hope she’ll forgive me because I don’t know how much longer I can take this ring burning a hole in my pocket.” 

Tommy nods, “She will. She’ll do it in a heartbeat but then you gotta nut up and give her that ring.” 

Eddie smiles, “Would it be too much to ask her to forgive me and marry me in the same conversation?” 

Tommy shakes his head violently, “Absolutely not.” 

Eddie laughs, “Good.” 

Over the next few hours, people come and go. Everyone gets their own turn of checking on her and reassuring Eddie that she’ll be okay. Finally, with only Eddie in the room, she stirs. She squints up at the ceiling as she tries to process where she is. The sound of her moving her head to look around alerts Eddie who jerks up from where he lays on her arm, “Hey, you’re okay. You’re in the hospital.” 

She nods, trying to speak but her mouth is dry. Eddie hands her the bottle of water, Carla had brought him earlier, from the side table that and helps her take a few sips. When she pulls away, he sets the bottle back down on the table and brushes her hair from her face, “How are you feeling?” 

She stares at him for a few seconds before whispering, “I’m just glad you’re here.” 

He kisses her knuckles, “Of course I am, baby. I love you so much and I’m so sorry I doubted you.” The confusion on her face prompts him to add, “Talia told me what happened. I can’t believe I ever thought you’d do something like that. I should’ve known you had a good reason.” She smiles softly but he still feels the need to ask, “Will you forgive me?”  

She nods immediately, “Of course.” Out of habit she reaches to fidget with her bracelet but finds it missing, “I’m gonna kick someone’s ass.” 

Eddie laughs heartily, “Chris said you would.”  

She reaches up to cup his cheek, “I love you.” 

He leans into her touch, “I love you too.” 

The moment is interrupted when the door opens again but both are immediately delighted to see Carla opening the door for Chris who is overjoyed to see (Y/N) awake. He takes a seat as Carla waves with a smile before closing the door to give the small family a moment. With one hand, Chris reaches over and takes (Y/N)’s left wrist and wraps her bracelet back where it belongs with the other. She smiles brightly but Eddie is suspicious, “Chris, did you pester the nursing staff for that.” 

He grins proudly, “Yup, I told them my step mom would kick their butts if they didn’t give it to me.” 

Eddie and (Y/N) share an amused look before she ruffles Christopher’s hair, “Thanks, buddy.” He grins and reaches up to take her hand in his. 

Eddie’s eyes flick between the two before he stands and joins Chris on the other side of the bed.  (Y/N) is slightly confused when he places his hands on Christopher’s shoulder and whispers something in his ear. Chris listens intently before nodding incessantly, “Yes! Do it. Do it now.” 

Eddie grins and ruffles his son’s hair, “Alright, alright calm down. I will.” He places himself between Chris and (Y/N). She is utterly bumfuzzled but Chris is dancing in his seat excitedly. Eddie removes something from his pocket and drops to one knee causing her to slap her hand over her mouth. The man smiles up at her, “I know this isn’t at all the ideal time or place to ask you this but,” he looks around the room and then back at her, “I was very recently reminded that we aren’t promised tomorrow, especially in our line of work.” He opens the ring box and holds it up to her, “(Y/N), will you marry me?” 

Chris cheers happily upon hearing her answer, “Yes!” Tears of joy fill both Eddie and (Y/N)’s eyes as he slips the ring on her finger, stands, and kisses her with every ounce of love that he can. 

The couple parts when the door opens again as Buck and Tommy poke their heads in. Tommy grins, immediately noticing the ring on her finger. Slightly confused having missed the small but important detail, Buck stutters, “Sorry, Carla told us she’s awake. Are-are we interrupting something? We can come back later.” 

Tommy pushes past his boyfriend and makes his way to (Y/N)’s right side, making eye contact with Eddie, “I told you she would. Does your leg feel better without that hole burning in your pocket?” 

Eddie nods, laughing as identical looks of confusion settle on (Y/N) and Buck’s faces as Buck paces over to Tommy’s side. Eddie looks down at her, “I showed it to him earlier.”  

Understanding replaces her confusion but Buck is still lost, “What hole? Showed who what? I’m so confused.” (Y/N) holds her hand up to Buck showing off her ring. He gasps for words as excitement floods his entire body and he takes her hand in his to inspect it. None of them notice as the doctor stops in the open doorway, observes what is happening, and then immediately makes his way to the waiting room. After a minute or so, Buck’s face drops to disappointment as he looks up at Eddie and Tommy, letting go of her hand, “I kinda wanted to help pick it out...” Tommy pats his head before wrapping his arm around his waist.  

Eddie shakes his head chuckling, “Do you not recognize it? You were so damn sure she’d like it that you bruised my arm to get my attention.”  

It takes a few seconds but realization finally smacks across his face as he gasps, “This is that ring?”  

Eddie nods as (Y/N) who is admiring the ring confirms, “He wasn’t wrong. I love it.” Everyone smiles as Eddie kisses the top of her head. Before anyone can say anything else, the door opens and their friends and family flood in. Everyone gushes over the ring, offers the couple their congratulations, and states how glad they are that (Y/N) is okay.

Talia takes a seat on the edge of the bed to (Y/N)’s right, “The doctor had to step out of the way of the stampede after he told us you had a ring on that you weren’t admitted with.” (Y/N) laughs, barely able to spot the doctor in the doorway through the crowd of friends and family. She gives him a thumbs up and he nods with a smile as he returns to his rounds.  

She looks to Talia and takes her hand in her own but before she can say it, Talia assures, “I know what you’re gonna say. Eddie already did.” (Y/N) looks to Eddie who is locked in a tight hug from Bobby with a smile on his face that is bigger than she’s ever seen. Talia leans over to whisper in her ear, “You weren’t kidding when you said Tommy is wrapped around Buck’s finger.” As (Y/N) turns back to look at Talia, she spots Tommy who is wrapped around Buck from behind. Both are smiling brightly as Buck and Maddie are already discussing bachelor party plans.  

“They’re next, I’m calling it now,” (Y/N) tells Talia who laughs loudly. Their hands stay locked together as (Y/N) looks back to Eddie who now has an arm around Christopher’s shoulders as they chat excitedly with Carla. Carla notices her looking and nods in her direction as she shoves the two toward her. Eddie takes the hand she offers him and Chris climbs up to sit beside her. An hour or so passes before a nurse squeezes through the crowded hospital room. She smiles at (Y/N) before proceeding to check her vitals and give her fresh bandages. Only when (Y/N) is nodding off and very obviously struggling to stay awake does everyone wish her well, promise they’ll visit again later, and head home. Soon, the only ones left are her boys. She kisses the top of Christopher’s head as she notices he has fallen asleep carefully tucked into her side. She pats the right side of the bed for Eddie to join her. The three of them have to scoot in real close to fit on the hospital bed but after the week she’s had, she wouldn’t have it any other way. 

More 911

Main Masterlist

[iamvegorott]

Magicians Don't Need Superheros Pt26

First: Link Prev: Link Next: Link

----------

“Looks like you two had a productive chat,” Wilford said as Jackie and Marvin went down the hall. He stood outside the examination room, door closed as if he knew they were due to arrive soon. 

“We’ll say that,” Marvin said. “Everyone still in there?” He gestured to the door. 

“Yep. It’s starting to run out of space in there with Maddy, Mare, and Phan showing up. 

“That sounds like a crowded nightmare.” Marvin scrunched his nose. 

“Oh, it is.” Wilford clicked his tongue. “I give ol’ Google about a minute until it becomes too much and he’s out here with me. So, before he comes in and shuts my idea down, I’d like to make a suggestion for our current problem.” 

“I didn’t hurt them, right?” Jackie asked, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“The only thing you bruised was Dark’s ego.” Wilford chuckled.

“What a shame,” Marvin said. 

“You and Dark will get along eventually. Braid hair and talk about cute boys as you had put it.” Wilford twirled his mustache with a finger.

“You weren’t there when I said that. Did Illinois tell you?” 

“Wasn’t I?” Wilford poked his cheek with a hum, lost in thought for a second before just shrugging. “So, my idea-”

“Wait, Did Illinois-”

“-I’m thinking of having Jackie take a nap so he won’t get scared,” Wilford spoke over Marvin as if he hadn’t in the first place. Marvin decided to bite his tongue and save that question for later. 

“Take a nap? You mean knock me out?” Jackie’s face showed that he wasn’t the most fond of that idea. “I mean, if you think it’ll make sure no one’s hurt. We’ve had some really close calls before. Like when I nearly kicked Google’s face but his glasses fell off and they got stepped on or the time Anti tried to get my shoulders and I headbutted his-” 

“I have an idea as well.” Marvin blurted out. Jackie’s rambling getting the thought to come to mind. “It doesn’t involve cotton candy anesthesia, but if it works, Chase is probably going to kick his own ass for not thinking of it himself.” 

“If it doesn’t work, I still vote on letting him nap,” Wilford said. 

“Calling it a nap doesn’t make it less scary,” Jackie muttered. The three of them stopped and turned when the door opened. Google stepped out, holding his phone to his ear and pausing at the sight of the others.

“Who ya calling there, Google?” Wilford nearly sang his question. 

“No one.” Google quickly answered. 

“Hey, Googs!” Bing’s distinctive tone came from the phone. 

“Calling Bing?” Wilford continued his singing voice.

“I’m catching him up,” Google stated before walking off, whispering into the phone so he couldn’t be heard. 

“How many cans of worms are there with this group?” Marvin asked. 

“I don’t have enough fingers to count,” Jackie said. “But that one is actually new to me.” 

“I can fill you in later,” Wilford said with a wink. 

“Yes, later, because I’m about to tear my own skin off with this dried mud on me.” Marvin walked past Wilford and into the room, hearing footsteps behind him and knowing that it was Jackie following him. 

“How are you still moving around caked in that shit?” Phantom asked. 

“Pure spite at this point,” Marvin answered. “Now, do we still need blood from me and Jackie?” 

“We have several running theories but in order to confirm or disprove them, we’d need a closer look at…” Mad’s sentence trailed off when he just got looked at. “Yes. We do.”

Marvin wasn’t staring at Mad because he was talking too much, he was looking because he noticed something was different about him. He could have sworn Mad’s eyes were a light brown but they were a dark purple and as he changed his sentence, his eye color changed as well, turning to a light orange. 

“Your eyes changed,” Marvin said. 

“Oh, yeah, they do that. I’ve been wearing brown contacts around you. Everyone else panicked when they saw them the first time and I didn’t want you to do the same. We came over here so fast that I didn’t have time to put them in.” Mad explained, the orange in his eyes getting brighter the more he spoke. 

“No need to hide them from me, I think they’re pretty cool,” Marvin said with a kind smile, seeing how the orange started having a redder hue to them as a tint of pink appeared on Mad’s cheeks. 

“We should focus on how to fix your and Jackie’s eyes.” Mad was clearly trying to turn the topic away from himself. 

“I have a plan. Henrik, do your usual thing to get what you need from Jackie.” Marvin looked over to where Jackie was talking with Illinois and Yancy. 

“I’m sorry for freaking out like that,” Jackie said. 

“Yous don’t gotta apologize.” Yancy waved a hand. 

“Everyone, well almost everyone, has their fears,” Illinois said. 

“Quit actin’ like you ain’t scared of something.” Yancy lightly slapped Illinois’ arm with the back of his hand. 

“It’s not an act.” Illinois grinned. 

“We’ll scare you one day.” Jackie chuckled. 

“Ready to try my idea?” Marvin asked, joining the group. 

“Oh, yeah, sure. Do I need to like do anything special?” Jackie already looked a bit worried. 

“Just sit on the end of the chair, facing that wall.” Marvin gestured to the spot he was talking about. 

“Okay?” Jackie followed the direction, watching as Marvin ushered the others to move, getting half of them out of the room and the other half to stay at the edge of the room. Dark looked like he wanted to protest but a quick whispered comment from Wilford got him to just roll his eyes and step aside as instructed. 

“I got this part.” Marvin took the disinfecting wipe from Henrik and started cleaning off the crook of Jackie’s arm. “So you know how you’ve been getting me to watch those superhero movies?” He asked Jackie.

“Yeah, we’re gonna watch Into The Spiderverse next.” Jackie sounded confused as he watched Marvin clean him off, toss the wipe aside, and then stand directly in front of him. 

“There’s a question I’ve seen online and I need your opinion. Tobey, Andrew, Tom. Who’s the best Spider-Man?” Marvin hoped the question would do what he assumed it would. 

“Oh! I’ve seen that talk before!” Jackie perked right up. “Like how sometimes there’s being a really good Spider-Man and being a really good Peter Parker and trying to find a way to do the other way since, like, yeah Peter and Spider-Man are the same person but there’s always the-” He went right into an excited ramble like Marvin had planned. Marvin shot a look at Henrik who thankfully caught on and got to work getting a blood sample while Jackie was distracted. Chase slapped his palm to his forehead, also proving Marvin right that he knew he should have thought of this sooner. 

“I think Tom does a younger Spider-Man really well and-”

“This is ridiculous,” Dark muttered as he left the room. “All it took was that.” His mutters continued until he was out of hearing range. 

“I think it’s like super cool how he actually has the webbing coming out of him while the others make their own webbing.” Jackie’s spiel continued without missing a beat, Henrik already halfway done with the blood draw at this point. 

“I could probably make that stuff,” Mad said. 

“You could!?” Jackie turned to look at Mad and Marvin quickly caught his head, both hands on his face and he guided him to look forward again. He was not about to risk him seeing the needle and panicking. Jackie had to take a second to recover from the gesture as Marvin grabbed Mad’s arm and pulled him over to stand beside him. 

“How would you make the webbing?” Marvin prompted. Mad perked up just like Jackie had done.

“There’s a lot of different methods we could use. We’d have to account for some variables if Jackie wishes to swing on the webbing.”

“I totally want to swing!” Jackie bounced a bit on his rear while Mad bounced on his feet. 

“I’d need your weight to make sure the webbing is at least strong enough to hold that and-” Mad rambled on with Jackie adding his ideas and thoughts. Marvin sighed in relief and sat himself in one of the chairs in the room. Anti chuckled as he moved to stand next to him.

“Looks like you’ve used his rambling to your advantage,” Anti said. 

“He’s a lot happier talking about his movie stuff.” Marvin had a smile while watching the two excited men planning a Spider-Man-themed experiment. 

“You like seeing him happy.”

“Of course.” 

“Isn’t that cute?”

“I will shave your head.” 

“All done,” Henrik said, cleaning off the spot and seeing that the small wound already healed by the time it was clean. 

“All done?” Jackie echoed, seeing Henrik holding a vial of blood. “All done?” He said again, looking at his arm and then at Marvin. 

“All done,” Marvin confirmed, giving Jackie a thumbs-up. 

“Well, I’ll be damned.” Illinois chuckled. “All it took was a new head to figure this out.”

“Nothing looks different at a surface level.” Henrik committed, beginning his observations. “We’ll need a sample from Marvin next.” 

“Could you get that one hair mask you mentioned?” Marvin asked Jackie, seeing him tense up. 

“Yep!” Jackie didn’t miss a beat and took off. 

“I’ll go bring him some juice.” JJ chuckled, already in the fridge and leaving the room, flashing a quick smile to Wilford as he passed.

“Let me help you.” Wilford offered and followed him. 

x~x~x

Marvin used Henrik’s bathroom to wash up while Henrik and Mad studied his and Jackie’s blood. He had to keep the door open and the others kept an ear out just in case there was a problem, thankfully, the shower had gone smoothly. 

Marvin didn’t feel any different. Yes, his eyes were still red but nothing felt wrong or off or anything that would raise alarms for him. During the peace of the shower, he did focus on his internal being, and while he felt his own magic, some other magic was in there as well. Maybe that was causing the redness in their eyes. 

Right now Marvin and Jackie sat together on the examination chair once more. Jackie needed to do something with his hands or, to quote him, ‘he’d die of boredom’, so he helped Marvin with applying the hair mask. Using a comb to make sure the product got to the roots of his hair. Marvin just went with it since it always felt nice to have someone playing with his hair but also knowing Jackie really needed something soothing to do after all he’s been through today. Physically and mentally. 

The other Ipliers were sent home. Dark stayed behind to relay any vital information once everything was done. The crowd was no longer needed since there weren’t any immediate signs of danger. Anti got bored and left and JJ excused himself to finish a task he had been working on before Marvin and Jackie returned. 

So it was Jackie, Marvin, Henrik, Chase, Mare, Phantom, Mad, and Dark left in the room. Still plenty of people but at least the crowd shrank somewhat. Marvin was just ready for all this to be done and over with. He was running out of time to get some proper reading done before bed. 

“Now can we confirm it was what I said it was since the beginning?” Phantom asked with a huff. 

“We have tested everything, so yes,” Henrik said. 

“What’s up with us?” Jackie asked, putting the comb down.

“It’s a curse,” Phantom stated.

“A-mother fucker.” Marvin grunted and rubbed his face. “Of course, it’s a curse.”

“Our eyes are cursed?” Jackie scrubbed his eyes with closed fists. 

“In a way.” Mare said. “It’s likely a warning of what the new Ego could do. The magic seems similar to what me and Phantom use. Chaos-based with a focus on illusion. We can dispel the curse right now or it’ll fade naturally within a day or two.” 

“I should have known it was just a visual curse.” Marvin was annoyed at himself for not catching it sooner. He could probably break the curse on his own but didn’t want to risk misreading it and causing permanent damage. “This is beyond anticlimatic.” 

“I’d rather it be something boring than a big problem,” Chase said. 

“I wouldn’t say boring,” Mad said. “Like Mare had said, the eyes were simply a warning. A sign that he is capable of altering our bodies. We don’t know the extent that he is capable of.” 

“Sorry, but-um-can we fix the eyes while we talk about this?” Jackie asked. 

“Dibs on the himbo,” Phantom said before going to Jackie while Mare rolled his eyes and went to Marvin. 

“It’ll take no more than ten seconds,” Mare said, holding his hands up and silently asking permission to use his magic on Marvin. Marvin just nodded his understanding and closed his eyes when Mare’s hands held his head, thumbs on his temples, and the rest of his fingers on the sides of his neck. 

Dark said something but Marvin couldn’t hear him, focusing on the magic surging through his head. Chaos magic felt like its name. Erratic, loud, fuzzy but there was a strange sense of control to it. A control that had to be formed or the magic would break anything and everything it could reach. The magic danced around before finding the string that connected to the curse and it snapped it. Marvin blinked hard a few times when Mare lowered his hands. 

“All clear,” Mare stated. 

“I keep forgetting how blue your eyes are.” Phantom chuckled. “Marvin’s got some blue ones too but his are more like sapphire while yours are ocean.” 

“Thanks?” Jackie tilted his head.

“That’s interesting,” Mad said softly to himself, his gaze on Marvin and a hint of green showing in his eyes. Marvin was going to ask what Mad meant but was cut off by Dark.

“Now, since that is all done.” Dark picked up his blazer and draped it over his arm. “Myself and the other Ipliers will handle our newest member.” 

“But Host said it’s supposed to be Jackie and Marvin.” Chase protested.

“I will need to speak with him about that. We do not crossover like this unless we are creating a new branch. Something is wrong and I will find the solution to it.” Dark turned his neck and cracked it. “Until then. Marvin and Jackie are not to make contact with this new Iplier.” 

“We can’t go against-you son-of-a-bitch.” Chase cursed when Dark left without another word. “I am going to shoot his dick off, I swear to God.” 

[sholiofic]

Whumptober Day 25: Surgery

Once more I jump ahead to a prompt that's calling to me.

No. 25: SURGERY Stitches | Being Monitored | “It’s for your own good.”

Algy, team, EvS; somewhere post-canon, 700 wds. Also posted on DW.

Algy disliked the circumstances as much as he disliked the fussing, but he didn't want to admit to either. He sat on the edge of the bed in a hospital gown, putting up with the others' friendly teasing and Ginger prodding playfully at his knee.

"So will it work better now? Will you be an Olympic sprinter?"

Algy aimed a dramatic kick at him, ignoring the twinge. Ginger pulled away just as dramatically.

"I can still outrun you, imp."

Biggles sat on the edge of the opposite bed, somehow still boyish even after all these years, wearing his pilot's jacket -- he had come directly from the airfield -- with his elbows on his knees and an unlit cigarette between his fingers. He smiled at Algy. "We'll keep your desk warm for you. And if you're back before you're cleared for duty, you'll be out on your ear, Flying-Lieutenant."

"Look who's talking," Algy shot back, and picked up a balled-up towel off the metal bedside table to throw at him.

He had no chance, because a ward sister came in, crisp and starched, to sweep them all out and inform Algy that the orderlies would be up to take him to the surgical suite soon. The others left: Ginger with a clasp to the shoulder, Bertie gripping his hand, and Biggles giving him a nod that conveyed more than words.

Algy was left to lean back on his pillows and contemplate the vague ache in his knee, the fact that he was going to wake up with a ligament reconstruction, and strangest of all, the idea that he'd lived long enough for parts of his body to start giving out naturally.

"Brooding?" said a voice from the doorway. Algy jumped violently.

Von Stalhein was lounging there, hair mostly grey now, wearing a long overcoat and evidently just as sneaky as ever. Algy glared at him.

"They're going to come to take me into surgery any minute now. Don't you get tired of sneaking in and out of places like some kind of stray cat? Why didn't you just walk in with Biggles earlier?"

Von Stalhein remained implacable as always. "I had the impression that earlier was for - family."

Algy shied away from the thought that von Stalhein seemed to be around the flat so much these days that he might as well be. Terrible thought, he hoped the anesthesia erased it. "And now is for ex-spies who creepily sneak into hospitals while other people are trying to rest, I suppose?"

Now the corners of the austere mouth twitched. "Knee surgery, I'm told?"

Biggles had been talking, evidently. Algy found he didn't mind in particular; it saved explanations. "Ligament repair. Routine these days, they tell me. Next they'll be replacing the thing entirely."

"I wouldn't be surprised," von Stalhein said. "All that chasing criminals is hard on the knees, I suppose."

Algy raised his head from the pillow, stirred from waiting resignation by sheer outrage. "You should know!"

"Ah, but you never caught me, did you?"

Algy sputtered for a moment. "I can call a sister and have you thrown out."

"I think they're on their way anyway," von Stalhein said, glancing into the hall. "I will be on my way as well."

"Wait -- you --" Algy was not quite sure where he was going with this, but the distraction had been -- not welcome, exactly, but ... distracting. "You don't need to sneak in next time, it's ridiculous. Act your age for once and use the front door."

A quick flash of a smile, then von Stalhein was gone, vanishing as if he had faded into the shadows, and a moment later two orderlies came in to wheel Algy down to surgery.

It occurred to Algy, as the anesthetic mask was placed over his face and he obeyed the order to breathe in deeply, that he had been far too busy being annoyed with von Stalhein to fret about the upcoming surgery. It was really a dastardly piece of emotional manipulation, the bastard; he felt they should all be more concerned about von Stalhein's clear tendency to ----~~~~~

(He woke some time later, drifting hazily back to consciousness in a post-surgical ward to find Ginger and Bertie playing a card game on the table beside the bed, and Biggles and von Stalhein sitting and chatting quietly on an adjacent bed. And he found that he didn't mind the company at all.)

[dollsonmain]

I know folks are probably getting tired of this by now so you get a tag AND a cut.

But I feel like discussing this sort of thing might help people sometimes? since it's a first person account instead of listicles online.

What they did and didn't tell me about having stents.

They told me why: Facilitates drainage which takes strain (pressure) off of the kidneys and helps the antibiotics work by helping prevent pockets of infected urine reforming (that's what was making me sick, stuck urine that had built up lots of bacteria).

They told me how-ish: They go up with various catheters and things and install the stents, the stents stay in place until they are removed. Some stents have lines that exit the body to facilitate removal. Mine do not. The doc didn't want me accidentally pulling them out since the area they're in is heavily infected. They'll be removed at my first stone removal surgery in about two weeks from installation which was a couple days ago.

They did not tell me how-completely: The stents are hooked into my body meat like little fish hooks. They also didn't tell me they'd be taking urine for testing from my bladder and each kidney or that they would also be draining both kidneys during the procedure, so I did get a fluid-pressure reset.

They did not tell me basically anything about what the next two weeks will be like.

I'm on flowmax to soften my bladder so it's easier to empty. I don't think I needed that, I was peeing fine, but stents do change things.

I was worried that I might push them out while pooping but that's not likely to the point of nearly impossible. Not 100%, but nearly.

These things feel like a bad UTI and I have two of them. I got the ows, the zaps, the GOTTA GOs every few minutes. At least now I know that ALL of those pains are UTI pains, you know? I'd get some random pain sometimes and be like "what was that......" and now I know. It was UTI and pressure in my kidneys and the pain signals were traveling around the whole renal system. Because they do that.

I'm in a lot more pain now than I was with just the kidney stones. It is very, VERY atypical but my kidney stones and the pressure behind them don't hurt. Those nerves may have died off.

There's varying amounts of blood in my urine, sometimes very little, sometimes a lot. Sometimes there are clots. That's all normal but I had to ask as things were happening.

I get up every couple hours in the night and some times I don't make it to the toilet (I did all last night, so that is improving).

They also didn't warn me that just having the surgery itself might make me wet myself because the muscles hadn't all regained strength/how long it would take for the anesthesia to fully wear off.

I called the doctor's office and asked about that, too.

I'm glad I thought to have That Guy bring Depends but that's also something you'd think someone would like, mention. You know?

So that's what having stents has been like so far.

Feels like a bad UTI, though for some people they feel nothing. Need adult diapers for accidents. Need to be near a toilet at all times, and not going to get a hell of a lot of continuous sleep for a while.

-

I also think it's worth noting that I've had two male doctors blow me off about this and I think the only thing that went differently at the ER was that it was a female doctor.

The first male doctor said it was an anxiety attack.

The second male doctor said it was a viral stomach bug.

The female doctor listened to my symptoms and ordered a bunch of tests.

So, more personal blather about the whole situation.

While I was in the first ER I heard a man yelling and starting trouble in the waiting room. That Guy and Son got up and left as soon as the man was distracted by a security guy. I'd had told them to go home as soon as they dropped me off and I would text if I needed picked up. I knew I wasn't going home, though.

-

My neighbor was an elderly lady and they kept trying to figure out when she'd last pooped but she couldn't remember. Finally she called them in and was like I need to poop so they wrestled her up on a bed pan (she cried, she was in a lot of pain) and then left her alone with her curtain closed to poop. Right then the floor doctor walked in and was like HI MISS GERALDINE and whipped her curtain open to start talking to her.

...

I chewed him out. That's very atypical of me. Like, I laid into him for not asking if she was wanting to talk in that exact moment. And then I felt really bad until I realized he's probably had people a lot more angry at him than me considering a lot of the patients I could hear were elderly and some were confused, and I didn't feel bad anymore.

-

Since it's a university-run hospital there were sometimes pairs of nurses, and at one point a trainee came in to give me a dose of antibiotics through the IV but she hooked it into the wrong plug which depressurized the system and blood starting backing up the tube. As soon as she saw that she ran to get her trainer and they spent some time doing a full reset of the IV set up.

I wasn't worried or anything. It was my own blood and it could only go so far/only so much could be lost. At the most a cup since the saline bag was fresh and mostly full, still. So I was totally calm the whole time, which I'm sure helped.

I think the nurse in training was surprised when her trainer stepped out and I encouraged her instead of yelling at her. I praised her for not being too proud to get help when she noticed an issue, and for observing how to rectify the situation.

-

That Guy was like "Yesterday's nurses did NOT like me..." and I was like yeah I kind of told on you, but not out loud. He got put on the shit list FAST by staff. So for that I have a note in my account that I'm experiencing financial abuse and he exhibits controlling behavior. If there ever is a point where Son and I have to leave, I have the name of where to call. There's a facility in Next Town Over where the hospital is that will come and get us, and that would be the last time we see him.

I feel guilty for saying anything because he has paid for my existence for decades but he has also been abusive, just not physically.

They asked me if Son is safe at home alone with That Guy and I said "Safe, yes. Happy, no."

They also asked like how is Son and I said he seems to understand that his father's behavior isn't his fault but he still has had to endure it.

I also in the process learned how much money he makes (I didn't know before) and wow we should all certainly have insurance (he and Son might through his work but I have nothing and don't qualify for assistance while he claims me on his taxes as a dependent) and have had medical care all this time and there's no reason at all to be doing the whole -pointedly look at the food receipt every grocery trip, look up at the sky angrily, shake his head, shove it in his pocked, huff, and walk away- thing. Also explains why his work friends keep suggesting burger joints that end up costing like $80 for the whole family....

[crazyvik97rpg]

William really had a lot of questions indeed - wanted to know how long it would take, how long Sebastian would need to stay. Three or four days seemed like a standard amount of time after a procedure - still, he wasn't looking forward to it. First of all - Sebastian just wanted this surgery to be over as soon as possible - successfully. Ah...

But the doctor sounded really reassuring and like it really was just a standard procedure, easy and quick. Sebastian was worried about the aftermath too, but William seemed to have an idea already, mentioning a pressure sleeve he had to wear and all that. No doubt his beloved had researched a lot. Sebastian had done some research but...probably not nearly as much as William.

Missing some parts of his body, even ones he couldn't see or actively need felt...strange too. His body would need to adjust and that was scary to Sebastian too. But one thing at a time. The clock was nearing 1:30pm and after some more questions Dr Cole was eventually joined by the anesthetist and some more nurses. A black haired man, briefly introducing himself as well, as Dr. Sullivan. He'd be administering Sebastian throughout anesthesia and the surgery - so he was in good hands.

And speaking of hands - the nurses had some stuff in theirs, for prepping Sebastian for the upcoming procedure. He was asked to lie back down on his back, then they proceeded to mark his arm - Dr Cole drew some marks around his right arm and parts of his chest and collar bone area. Then, the nurses checked his vital signs - blood pressure, heart rate, Dr Cole also made sure his oxygen levels were appropriate. IV placement was already done earlier so a nurse only asked Sebastian whether he wanted a mild sedative, to help him relax a little.

Well...that couldn't hurt.

All of that going on around him felt scary - but as the nurse placed the sedative as an IV-bag and plugged it into the cannula on his hand, it took effect fairly quickly. Sebastian turned his head towards William and smiled a little. Well then...

"Alright...", Dr Cole said, "The sedative should work soon, so you won't be as nervous", then she turned to William, "I would say the procedure in total should take 3 to 4 hours, until Mr Michaelis will wake up", she said then, to William, "We do have designated waiting areas, if you want to wait there. Mr...", she looked at her clipboard, "Spears? Is it?"

"Yes...", Sebastian answered with a nod, to confirm, "I wrote him as primary contact on the-..."

"Ah, yes- right, on the list, yes", she smiled as she spotted that on her documents, "We will inform you then, once he is in recovery. You can follow us to the operating room, the waiting room is right close-by".

Sebastian heard his bed click a few times then - the nurses started rolling it. They had turned off the breaks. Oh god...it was starting so soon? Good thing he had that sedative, he hoped it would work soon enough. He turned his head, looking for William.

For I have sinned...

The principal cleared his throat, eyes scanning the notes that he had wrote down before this meeting. It already lasted an hour, and the teachers gathered in the faculty room were becoming restless and bored. But indeed there were some things to discuss, with the concert that the senior class was supposed to perform at the end of the semester, and with recent staff changes. 

William glanced down at his watch, sighing softly. His class was starting in 15 minutes, so at least, whether the meeting will be done soon or not, he will get to excuse himself. He looked out of the window, his mind wandering. Principal’s voice turned into white noise in the background. It was a pleasant day, late summer. But William was looking forward to a slightly cooler weather. Wearing all black could really be bothersome at times. 

“And lastly, I am pleased to announce that we have finally found replacement for the violin teacher. Dear Mr Tanaka, may he rest in peace, was with us for so many years that I’ve been concerned we won’t be able to find someone as good as to fill this position.” the principal spoke. “But Mr… Michaelis, was highly recommended to me, and he indeed has impressive references. He will be starting this week, so please welcome him warmly once he will arrive. Ah yes… about that. He will arrive today at noon, I need someone to pick him up from the train station and bring over for the tour around the school. Any volunteers?” 

William was barely listening, and definitely not paying much attention. He glanced at his watch again, and saw that it was time to leave, as his class was about to start. He raised his hand to excuse himself, and little did he know, he just volunteered.

“Father William! Excellent!” the principal exclaimed. “Just don’t be late, the train arrives at noon.”

“Train…?” William questioned, raising his brow. He had a feeling he was missing something…

***

Right after the meeting, William had to run for the class, so he had little time to clarify what exactly he had volunteered for. He was a piano teacher in this Music Academy, but also he served as a priest in local church. Well respected, and rather liked. So when he later found out it was about the new violin teacher, he didn’t refuse. Who, other than himself, would be a better choice to introduce a newcome to their community?

So even though he raised his hand by accident, he accepted this fate.

After classes, at noon, William took a taxi and drove to the train station, to pick up their new teacher. Wearing black trousers, and a black shirt with a thin tie, was absolutely dreadful in this weather, so William quickly found shelter under the roof of the station platform, that provided some shade.

The train had just arrived. William had no idea how Mr Michaelis looked like, but he figured he will just look for someone carrying a violin case with them. 

He was in for a bit surprise.

@crazyvik97

[kaeyazuha]

𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐚

❝ Omg i just saw the albedo dentist post please please please make a fic I am begging you ❞

(In which Albedo gets his wisdom tooth removed)

; Here's the long awaited fic! I'm not usually good at pure fluff/comedy so let's see how this goes-

; 8/2/22

; Pure Fluff

; CW: anesthesia, physical touch, light cursing

✧ Albedo’s not a clingy guy. He finds enough comfort in your presence alone, and often finds himself too busy to cling to you as much as he wants you. However, after a simple procedure to remove his wisdom teeth, by the archons you could not get him off of you. He’s leaning on you for support, clinging onto your arm, practically wrapping himself around you, and slumping all of his weight atop of you. The nurse, who helped you escort him outside the building as he stumbled around, couldn’t help but remark how sweet the two of you looked with him acting so lovesick around you. It’s rare for him to verbally or physically show affection as he prefers to show things through actions, which is already nice, but to see him like this is a whole other blessing.

✧ The aftercare is fairly simple. Since he trusts you with everything he is, he’ll happily take the painkillers and keep the gauze taut to the injury, and doesn’t move from the bed so that the anesthesia can wear off (though he occasionally asks for his sketchbook, mentioning how pretty you look many times over). However, there is one thing he simply doesn’t tolerate- you moving within five feet of him. He could be laying down while you work, or you could be sitting beside him, but he has some kind of sensor for when you leave. It’s almost annoying if it hadn’t been so cute to watch him stare up at you with tired yet entranced eyes, an irked pout on his face while he gripped your arm and tugged you back to him.

✧ He’s still mostly silent throughout all this, mostly due to his puffy and swollen cheeks as well as the gauze stuffing his mouth, and it’s almost a shame since you were hoping he’d say some embarrassing things. However, you soon realize that wouldn’t happen anyway since he’s impossibly open with you. So long as you’re willing to listen, he tells you everything. Secrets are usually tiresome and only end up hurting the other person in a relationship, so he does his best to be open with you. That, and he simply loves letting you into his life, despite how hard it was at first. And it makes you so happy to see how far he’s come- he just bit your arm. You’re appalled, watching in horror as he nibbles at the skin of your arm with half-lidded eyes. Albedo, wh--

- ✧ -

“--What,” You start, mouth gaping open like a fish out of water. 

“The hell,” He smiles mischievously against your arm. 

“Are you doing??” You’re sure that you look rather foolish right now as your face remains transfixed in a bewildered expression, and he tilts his head to rest his cheek on your arm. You sat in the back of the carriage with him leaning on your arm, your hand cupping the side of his head to keep him steady on the bumpy road. Albedo hummed sleepily, staring at you with a gaze that made it look like he was under a spell; half-lidded eyes, a hazy film over the crystal blue, the corners of his eyes droopy and relaxed. You smiled inwardly when he nuzzled into you, purely elated yet confused at the strange behavior from the stoic boy. “Are you alright?” Leaning down a bit, you adjusted the gauze sticking out from between his lips.

His body weight leaned atop yours caused you to lean against him further, but he took that as an invitation to wrap his arms around you and lay his head down in your lap. He thought nothing of it, simply finding this a comfortable place to rest and ease his pounding headache. You, however, felt like a teenager in a shoujo anime. Cheeks heated and eyes wide, your hands hovered by your face out of pure shock. “Mmn…” Albedo shuffled around until he looked up at you (the best he could, at least, everything was still a bit fuzzy), and he reached upwards and blindly grabbed at the air until he cupped your cheek. “Have th’you alwayth been thith pretthy? Like the brighteth sthar amidsth the night sky…” Before you could react to the nonchalant compliment, though you didn’t really know how to, he spoke once more. “I wan' almon' thofu.” His face was completely serious as he said this, as if he were reading his alchemy notes, and you snorted at this.

“Well, I’ll see what I can do when I get back. I’m sure I can whip something up for you! Ah,” You paused, leaning your head back against the headrest. “I don’t think you can eat solid foods for a little bit though…how does a smoothie sound?” An uncharacteristic groan came from your boyfriend, but he settled down a moment later while turning his head into your abdomen.

He mumbled this against your clothing, finding comfort in your scent. “...S’tho long ath you’re the one making it, I sth’pose that’ll be alright. Thank thyou. ” It was hard to understand him through the gauze, but what you did understand brought the widest of smiles to your face, and you found yourself raking your fingers through his soft locs while admiring his pretty (albeit slightly swollen) face. Being as loopy as he was, he simply smiled and leaned into your touch like a sunflower leaning into the sunlight. The ride home was quiet, yet comforting with him sleeping in your lap, curled up in the back of the carriage. You silently chided yourself for not bringing a kamera to capture just how sweet he was without a filter, and you couldn’t help but wonder if this was his true nature or a side to him that takes a bit of convincing to show.

‘Yeah,’  You looked down at the sleeping boy with a swollen cheek and sleepy smile with a lovesick grin and watched as he huddled ever closer to you and tightened his grip around your waist,

‘I’m so telling Kaeya about this.’

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚✧˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

Word Count: 1104

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚✧˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

- Ky♡♡

𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧; 𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺 𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝗷𝗼𝗶𝗻!

bold cannot be tagged

@storytravelled ; @irethepotato ; @euphoric-author ; @lordbugs ; @straymoon96 ;  @hoshikistarlette ; @lianglee11 ; @sup-zfam ; @myaaki ; @roriver ; @rizakari ; @httpshaolvr ; @leena-shii ; @kaerui-kaisen ; @akaiyuki ; @marigold-petals ; @frenchtoaf ;​ @nejibot ; @fijispritee ; @kissventii ; @ethereal-moonglow 

[cryptid-killjoy]

Delta loved when Frank expressed himself in ways like this, drawing in her blood. She didn't always realize it if it was on her back. Sometimes she'd see it later. Extra surprise gifts for later. How could she not love this man? So psycho for her and so damn cute. It was a winning combo.

After recomposing and letting Frank fix her shirt and wings she was too amused. Frank looked so handsome to her tonight. His grin over getting one over on Arthur even after death felt fitting somehow. She couldn't decide if it was a trick or a treat. It was probably both because it was great. She wasn't mad. For a moment she thought she should be, but she just wasn't. Maybe she liked showing off Frank won again just for old time sake. Maybe she liked when Frank teased Arthur for whatever reason. Maybe she just didn't give a fuck because she had too much real heavy shit in her mind to care about such a silly thing. Or maybe she just found it really damn funny Lil John was the one wearing her number one fan gear when Arthur seemed to be her little stalker.

Either way, she'd reply, "Yes, let's. Our guests are waiting."

Arthur would panic as expected by the couple who were both no doubt inwardly sniggering inside their heads as they walked closer to him. Every step was a doomsday closing in. Did Arthur know Frank had mind powers of some type? Sure. Did he know if it worked on ghosts? He was going to assume it did unstill he knew it otherwise. He tried so hard to clear his mind while he was trying to get his boner to settle and act natural all at once. The stairwell was too long to go rushing down for his prosthetic leg in time to look any sort of normal. But he couldn't think it through. He started to hop down steps in his haste and soon came to the realization as he heard the footsteps catching up behind him.

The more he tried to clear his head the more his thoughts raced the opposite effect happened. His head was filled with more thoughts than before. Everything he told himself not to think about came to the surface. He finally turned around and tried to stand in place on the stair and leaned like he was chilling there.

"Oh, hey guys! Fancy meeting you here of all places."

Delta stopped her feet. She watched as Arthur couldn't figure out where to comfortably fix his eyes upon either one of them. His nerves were on display. That made her grin all the more. The glace at Frank's pants and intenseness after on deliberately not looking there again, at least trying not to. He was having a hard time looking Delta in the eyes. So, of course she kept looking directly in his.

"Uh huh. Yeah, so weird finding us in our own home where we live."

She was cutting him any slack.

"Uhhhhhhhhh, right." He kept trying to keep his waistline turned slightly to the wall. He was hanging on a guard rail. "I was looking for you guys."

"So strange to find us in our own home where we live when you were looking for us."

"Heh. Yeah."

She kept right on his eyes making him all the more uncomfortable.

"Get on with it Arthur. Tell us what you were looking for us for." Still not once mentioning him standing around in the middle of a lengthy stairwell on one leg or questioning it.

"Oh uh right. Well, I'm only here for a night. I just really wanted to see you both. I've been waiting for this night." He started talking faster. "Remember when I used to get into comas, or anesthesia, or whatever and I'd manage to find you guys in death? Now I'm on the other side. It's trickier to find ways. Especially at your castle. Can't get in here."

"That's on purpose."

"Right." He stared for a second with a trying to read Delta wondering if he unwelcome or not and she gave no sign of him not counting when it came to her ghost protections. So the silence eventually was cut off by his own talking. He had to keep going.

"Well uh anyway. I keep trying to warn you and couldn't figure out how till today. I finally got in."

Delta rolled her fingers in a hurry this up motion.

"Right. Right. What I'm trying to say is there's disturbance in force."

Delta's brow went up.

"I mean there's people in Feral. Silas and the Evil Queen. She's in the swamps."

Delta's eyes narrowed. "Is that all? Just two?"

"You're mostly left with stray semi-immortal types in the depths like the pixies. But yeah, the queen's out at Skull Rock where your mother had her meetings. She was living out there with Silas. I thought you'd want to know about them."

She thought to herself, "We already have Silas." The Queen slipped under their nose.

Things Delta was realizing as he spoke. Arthur and possibly other Merry Men were still watching over Feral even after death. It was only now she was even realizing they were going by their Sherwood names in death when they were out there on the dance floor. She had to admit she hadn't thought a whole lot about the Merry Men since they left. Out of sight out mind maybe? But now that they were here it was giving her something to think about. Too much for now. She was trying to have a party. Maybe Arthur proved to be useful in the end too, not just for entertainment.

She stared at him after he gave the information, he'd been dying to give them all night. He had no idea they already had Silas locked up. Knowing the queen was out there was still helpful. She could tell he was looking for a thanks or a good job. Instead she changed the subject.

"Could have sworn I saw you earlier in the ball room with two legs."

"Me? Nah. What's a ghost need a leg for? Nah. Nah. Not me. Prosthetic ghost legs. Ha ha." He tried to play it off. His voice got higher pitched as the sentence went on.

He wasn't thinking this through. His leg was at the bottom of the winding stair. What then?

Delta looked up at Frank, "Oh, my bad. I must have miss seen."

Frank didn’t need to scour that pretty little brain to know how good Delta was feeling, her mumbles, her inability to say his name, her quivering mess of a body was loud enough. It was impossible not to feel cocky - heh heh - with his girl reacting like this. She might not have had anything else to compare it with but damn, he knew that she was enjoying this, same as he was.

His acid girl. She was melting him into her, even after they were finished, he was all over her, hands and fingers stroking the back, the wings, her upper thighs, feeling his sterile seed slipping out and pushing it back in so that they were one before they finally started to get dressed once more.

He spread the blood on her wings, before - in an almost overly cute motion - he drew a small heart on her skin with her own blood. “Art on art,” He admired his own little piece on her. She had made so many marks on him, so permanent - but he wouldn’t want to affect her perfect skin. Each scar, each freckle, each cut from the wings escaping - were exactly as it should be.

A smirk was across his face, his large eyes lingering on hers as he ‘lurched’ over her, forked tongue escaping his lips to lick at them as she bit on him so deliciously. “We both did,” He agreed. There was tension that he had needed to work off, as there always was when there was a lot of people in their space. He wouldn’t feel completely comfortable until things were as they were supposed to be. But this was a good amount of relief.

He ripped at her clothing carefully for her. Not with brute strength but with calculated rips, making it look as if it was intentional, and then the wings had all the space that they needed to come out, to spread the way that they should be. These beautiful goddamn wings, that he stroked and admired now, even while knowing there was an audience. A world of their own, acting like no one could see, no one could interrupt.

He’d been too in the zone to really tune into Arthur’s thoughts during his fuck session. He was inside of the most perfect girl alive, what kind of fool would he be if he spent that time figuring out what some bald-headed little voyeur was thinking? But now that the post-sexual haze was dissipating, he could tune on in.

And it was hilarious.

‘Not only dreaming. He’s one bit of friction away from cumming his pants,’ Frank replied to Delta, a smirk on his face as he looked in that direction as well. He could feel through Arthur that he hadn’t actually seen anything inappropriate on Delta, but oh, he caught that his dick had been sighted. Good. That just made it all the more funny.

He ran his fingers through Delta’s curls, adjusting them so they were less messy, and then bent low to kiss the top of her head. And then loud enough to let Arthur hear - “Shall we return to our guests?”

In the hopes that he would scramble around and try to get himself together. Shuffle down the stairs on his ass to try to get his other fake leg or something. There was some joy in the aardvark’s misery. But he couldn’t help letting out a chuckle, an outward expression of how much he was enjoying making the few hours that Arthur was here into something so … diabolical horny.

[heyitssmiller]

Clandestine: Chapter Eleven

I... about 75% of this chapter was not in the outline, and I don’t really know what to do about that fact. This completely ran away from me, but that’s ok I guess.

Characters, as always, belong to the amazing @lumosinlove and a huge thanks again to @donttouchmycarrots for proofreading!! <3

Clandestine Masterlist

CW: hospitals, injury, brief mention of blood, medical drugs

.

Leo slept. A lot.

Logan knew this was normal; their nurse had reiterated it a few times now. When he did wake up, it was only for a few dazed, confused minutes before he was pulled back under again. The confusion ebbed the more time went on, the effects of anesthesia wearing off, but the dull sheen to his eyes remained. He could fight his way through a brief conversation with him or Finn, and then he was back to sleep. It was probably for the best, Logan told himself. Better than dealing with their present situation, at least.

Finn was curled up uncomfortably in the chair beside him, also sleeping. He normally looked peaceful when he was asleep – lips slightly parted, face relaxed, on his side or stomach with one hand usually shoved under his pillow. After about a week of sharing a hotel room and a bed, Logan knew these things. It wasn’t the same now. Granted, he was in a chair instead of a bed, but still. He was curled up somewhat in a ball, with the leg in a brace stretched out and immobile – an awkward position that almost made him look like a flamingo balancing on one leg. His shoulders were tense, even in sleep, and his jaw was clenched tight. A worry line was furrowed between his eyebrows, steadfastly refusing to smooth out. Logan brushed his knuckles faintly against the bruise on his cheek, plum against porcelain, and sighed. He knew he should be doing the same thing – sleeping, that is – but every time he closed his eyes… well. It wasn’t pretty. Besides, someone needed to keep an eye out. There was only so long the nurse could delay the GSW report.

It was only a matter of time before they were on the run again.

Regulus drifted in and out on occasion, checking in on them. He seemed to be on guard, constantly walking the perimeter of the hospital and keeping an eye out for familiar faces. It put Logan on edge and calmed him down at the simultaneously. He didn’t trust Regulus, not really, but he figured if he was going to sabotage them he would’ve done so already. He’d had ample opportunity, after all.

Logan glanced at the clock. They’d been here for just shy of twenty-four hours now. The sun was starting to rise again, not bringing any answers with it. Loops had been in contact, briefly. They’d received one text message that simply said “stay put” and radio silence after that. He just hoped they had a good plan. Even better if it was safe, too, but Logan wasn’t about to push their luck… if you could even call it that.

For now, this was ok. They were together, they were alive, and they were relatively safe, for now. In that moment, listening to the steady beeps of a monitor and muffled conversations of people in the hallway outside their door and the even breathing of his partners, he couldn’t ask for much more.

***

Nate saw the scowling, intimidating group of people in the lobby and knew they were in trouble.

He had just started today’s shift, still tired from the one the day before, and was in the process of saying his usual hello to the staff working the front desk when he saw them. There were three of them – at least two of which were over six feet tall, looming and muscular and intense. One had a scar traversing down one side of his face, healed but still a beacon that screamed “don’t mess with me”. The short, scary one was right.

He’d submitted the GSW report about ten minutes ago, and here they were.

Fuck.

Nate didn’t even say goodbye to the sweet lady working the desk that day, he just backed away slowly and tried to appear normal as he pushed past the doors. As soon as they closed he broke into a run, headed straight for room 308 and stopping by the nurse’s station for a split second to grab two prescriptions before he was off again. He was almost there when he crashed into someone as he rounded a corner, only avoiding hitting the ground by two arms that snaked out to steady him. He looked up to gray eyes and a vaguely familiar face.

“Sorry.” The guy said and let go of him, frowning when he saw what was no doubt a look of panic on Nate’s face. “You ok?”

He remembered this guy now. He was with the scary short guy and the other two. He wasn’t around much, but Nate had seen him a few times when he’d been making his rounds.

“They’re here.” He blurted, hoping that he didn’t need so say anymore.

He didn’t. in the blink of an eye he was leading the way to room 308 and throwing the door open, which Nate didn’t think was the best idea. He didn’t know what these people did for a living, but it was clearly dangerous. Barging in like that probably wasn’t a good move.

Sure enough, when Nate followed Gray Eyes into the room, the short one was on his feet and had pulled a gun from somewhere, aiming it at the two of them. Gray Eyes stuck his arm out and kept Nate from going any further until Short Angry One recognized them.

Nate used to think this was a relatively safe career path. Sure he might get puked on, yelled at, mentally and emotionally eviscerated by doctors and patients and family members alike on a regular basis, but he’d never felt like his life was in danger.

Maybe he should go into accounting. Just him in an office with a bunch of numbers. Or a museum curator, surrounded by ancient artifacts and not much else. Definitely not people pointing guns at you.

Both the redhead and the blond woke up at the disturbance, one sitting up in a flash and the other just blinking sleepily and frowning in concern. Before anyone else could get a word in edgewise, Gray Eyes blurted out, “They’re here.”

The EKG readings on the monitor spiked, and then it was a flurry of motion. Short Angry One cursed under his breath and pulled Gray Eyes and Nate into the room fully, closing the door behind them. The redhead started throwing the few things they had into his pockets – a phone, some other electronic device Nate couldn’t identify, an old lock, a pen. He shoved his shoes on, unsteady on his feet, and looked to the blond, who was still in a hospital gown and watching with wide eyes. All the color that had been slowly returning to his cheeks was now gone.

Nate steeled his resolve. His job was to save lives, damnit, and that’s what he was going to do.

He jumped into action, pushing Gray Eyes out of the way and unhooking his patient from the monitors before discontinuing the IV drip and pulling the IV out, stopping the bleeding with quick pressure from his hand. “There’s an employee exit down the hall that leads to the parking garage. You guys know how to hotwire a car, by any chance? I’d offer you mine but I don’t have one.”

“I can.” Glaring down at his sling, the blond muttered, “Well. Maybe can is the wrong word.”

Nate let up on the pressure, shrugged his thin jacket off, and helped him slide his good arm through the sleeve, throwing the other side around his shoulder gently. It wouldn’t do much to help, but it was better than nothing. “Can you show someone else how to do it?”

“Maybe.” He said, moving to swing his legs over the edge of the bed and frowning when Nate stopped him. “I can walk.”

Nate smiled. Typical. “That’s what they all say. I’m going to grab a wheelchair, anyways. You’ll be faster that way.” He looked at the others in the room and continued. “I’ll lead you to the exit, but I’m afraid that’s as far as I can take you. I’ll try to find these guys and get them off your trail as best I can.”

He shoved the two prescriptions he was so glad he’d filled last night at Ginger, trying to ignore the way all of them seemed to be staring at him. “Instructions are on the labels. He needs to finish all the antibiotics. All of them.” He didn’t have time to stress the importance of preventing antibiotic resistance, but he hoped they would take his word for it. “Let me go get-”

The door opened again and they all swiveled towards it. Ginger stepped between the blond and the door while Short One raised his gun again – but he didn’t shoot. In fact he just stared for a second, then lowered his gun with a smile.

“Loops.” He said, relieved, and – what?

The three men Nate had seen earlier were ushered into the room, the tallest one slapping the brunet on the shoulder, causing him to stumble as he flipped the safety of his gun back on and stashed it in the waistline of his pants.

The one in the front with caramel colored eyes looked between their group, one eyebrow arched. “Going somewhere? I thought I told you to stay put.”

Ginger laughed incredulously, shoulders slumping. “Holy shit, Loops. We thought you were someone else.”

Gray Eyes looked at Nate, exasperation clear in his gaze. “You told me they were here.”

Nate threw his arms up in defense. “You look at those guys and tell me you wouldn’t be suspicious.” He winced and looked at the newcomers, realizing that his words might be offensive. “Sorry.”

Neither of them seemed to take it to heart. The tall one just grinned and said, in a heavily-accented voice, “We still got it, eh, Nado?”

The one with the scar – Nado, apparently – just rolled his eyes and didn’t comment, but Nate could see one side of his mouth lifting into a smile. It softened his face, made him look more like a teddy bear than the scary, intimidating guy he’d seen in the lobby.

“We’ve got a car out back.” The one called Loops said, looking to the blond with gentle, understanding eyes. “You good to go?”

He nodded firmly, no room for second-guessing. “Let’s do this.”

Now, Nate didn’t exactly think it was a good idea to move a GSW patient out of a hospital only a day after getting shot, but – judging by how the others had reacted at the thought of people coming for them – it was safer for him to leave than to stay here. His brain, after all those years of medical classes and caffeine/anxiety induced all-nighters, was screaming in horror about complications and sepsis and bone fragments, but he didn’t voice them. He just reached for a pen and paper in his pocket. He scribbled his number down and handed it to his patient. “If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask, ok? I’d feel much better if you at least had a nurse with you, but this’ll have to do.”

He got a warm smile in response. “Thanks,” he said, voice and eyes serious. “For everything. Not many people would do what you did for us.”

Nate blinked. “I genuinely don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but thanks?” He still didn’t know who exactly he was helping, but then again, he guessed it didn’t really matter either way. They seemed like good people dealing with a shitty situation, and that was a good enough motive for him. “I’m going to grab that wheelchair quickly and I’ll be right back.”

He should’ve known that, by the time he got back, they’d already be gone – leaving no trace except for the disheveled sheets on the bed, two chairs next to it instead of the standard one, and the still humming machines and monitors.

Nate let himself slump against the wheelchair, forearms resting against the handles.

“What the fuck,” he said, with feeling.

***

Sirius was behind the steering wheel of a very old service van, watching six of them pile into the back and Loops slide into the passenger’s seat. His eyes didn’t stray long from Regulus, though. If he’d had enough time, he would’ve tackled his younger brother in a hug. Unfortunately, they were on a bit of a tight schedule. “Petition to never have to break someone out of a hospital again.” He said wryly, putting the van into drive and searching for the exit to the maze that was this parking garage. All the while, he was sneaking glances in the rearview mirror, unable to help himself.

“Where do I sign?” Finn deadpanned from the back row, sandwiched between Logan and Leo. They looked so tired. Leo didn’t hesitate to twist in his seat a little so that he could lean into Finn’s chest and close his eyes, looking absolutely miserable. Finn shifted just slightly, pressing a barely-perceptible kiss to a bird’s nest of curls and relaxing back into his seat.

Huh.

That was… new.

But then again, was it? Sirius thought back to the past several months of this operation and found that he really wasn’t that surprised. But then there was Logan…

“Turn left here.” Remus said, pulling him out of the thoughts, calm and in control like usual. His lips turned up into a smile as he flicked his turn signal on. He could see them doing exactly this, when all the chaos was said and done. Taking a roadtrip, Sirius behind the wheel and Remus navigating, going wherever they felt like. No worries or missions, just the two of them and the black top below them. He shelved the daydreaming for later.

“Where are we going?”

Sirius’ eyes flew back to the mirror at his brother’s voice – the first time he’d head it un-obscured by a phone or earpiece in too long. He’d missed him. He’d fought so hard for him, to get him out of that mess and keep him safe, and here he was. They’d done it.

Was he a horrible person, for feeling as relieved as he did? He’d inadvertently put the Cubs through hell for mostly selfish reasons. Sure, he wanted to take the Snakes down, but that paled in comparison to the safety of his brother. He’d let the Snakes walk away scot-free if it meant Reg was safe.

He didn’t know what kind of person that made him – he was too afraid to speculate about it.

“My family has a cabin about two hours away,” Remus replied, balancing his phone with the navigation app against the center console so that Sirius could see it. “It’s empty right now, so it’s a perfect hideout until we figure out next steps.”

Finn was asleep now, too, head pillowed on Leo’s. Logan stared sightlessly out the window beside them, stonily silent. Sirius ached for him. They were kindred spirits, he and Logan. Stubborn, fierce, bleeding hearts who cared too much and shouldered more than their fair share of the responsibility when things went wrong.

And things had really gone wrong.

“What are the next steps?” Reg asked as they left the city and headed towards the interstate. “This isn’t the only backup we’ve got, right?”

“Sleep,” Kuny told Regulus, not unkindly, “had big couple of days, yes? Plan later.”

Reg looked at the tall Russian sitting next to him for a second, then sighed and turned his gaze to the window.

Sirius drove on in silence.

Two hours and eighteen minutes later, he was pulling up on a gravel driveway to a quaint, two-story cabin. The jostling of the gravel under their tires seemed to wake everyone up, according to the grumbles and yawns Sirius could hear from behind him as he finally put the van in park. The doors opened and they were all climbing out of the van, stretching stiff muscles and groaning. The ones with bags in the trunk went to unload while Remus fished his keys out of his pocket and headed for the front door, bounding up the last two steps to the porch. He was equal parts glad and upset that they were here. He was grateful that the Cubs were safe now and that this cabin was so far off the grid that the Snakes wouldn’t find them. But bringing a bunch of coworkers to the place he went to escape work stuff… jeez. Not that he didn’t like his coworkers, but sometimes he needed a break from it all. Plus this place belonged to his family. Being here with anyone but them just felt wrong.

Remus opened the door, instantly on guard when he saw the kitchen light was on. Whoever was in there must’ve heard the door because Remus could hear the refrigerator door close, then loud footsteps headed towards them. His hand drifted to his gun and he cautiously flicked the safety off.

A head peeked out from the kitchen. All-too-familiar eyes widened excitedly. “Re?”

The safety quickly went back on. “Jules?”

He wasn’t supposed to be there. Their trip wasn’t for another week-

Remus’ younger brother beamed and launched himself towards him, leaping into Remus’ arms when he got close enough with an excited shout.

“What are you doing here? I thought you couldn’t make it this trip!”

“What am I – what are you doing here?” Remus shot back, tensing up when he heard footsteps behind him. “Your trip is supposed to be next week!”

“School got cancelled because of all the snow.” Jules peered around Remus at the gathering group behind him. “Who are they?”

“Jules?” The familiar voice of their mother called from down the hall. “Who are you talking to, honey?”

Oh god, this was something straight out of Remus’ nightmares. How the fuck was he supposed to explain all this to his family? The rest of their agents were supposed to drive up here tomorrow with gear and supplies and weapons for their final stand against the Snakes. That… there was no way to explain that. At all.

Fuuuuuuck.

Hope Lupin stepped around the corner, startling when she saw the crowd on her doorstep. “Remus?”

“I’m so sorry, mom,” he blurted, the words coming out in an unfiltered rush. “I didn’t know you’d be up here or else I would’ve-”

“Oh, nonsense. We’re happy to have you and your… friends.” She said sweetly, voice raising into an almost-question at the end. Remus, flying blind, said the first thing that came to mind.

“They’re work friends. And there’s a few more coming tomorrow, if that’s ok.”

“What happened to him?” Jules interrupted, wide eyes trained on Leo, who smiled faintly.

“Shoulder surgery,” Leo said easily, taking Remus by surprise a little at how easily he responded with a textbook spy tactic: tell the truth, but only enough to not raise suspicion. He technically wasn’t lying, either. It was harder to get caught lying when you technically hadn’t.

It seemed like the rookie was no longer a rookie.

“It was recent, wasn’t it?” Hope asked, eyes sharp with observation as she ushered them all inside. When Leo looked at her a little distrustfully and both Logan and Finn stiffened beside him, she sent them all a soothing smile. “I’m a nurse, I can tell.”

“About a day and a half ago.” Leo let her lead them to a couch and sat down, answering Hope’s questions calmly now, seeming to know she could be trusted. When Remus looked around again, he noticed that Sirius and Regulus were both absent, no doubt having a much-needed talk. He was struck with a twinge of worry, but pushed it back. He shouldn’t interfere. They needed some time alone to sort through things. Sirius would talk to him about it if he felt like it. Nado and Kuny were trying to sneak their way into the kitchen, looking for whatever smelled so good in there. For spies, they weren’t very subtle.

“What kind of shoulder surgery?” Jules asked, trailing after their mom. “Re had one a few years ago, too!”

Remus winced and shot Leo an apologetic look for his over-inquisitive brother. “Not quite the same, Jules.”

“All he does is sleep now,” Finn said teasingly as he took a step back and stretched out his leg with only a slight wince. “My jacket has drool all over it from the car ride here.”

Leo shot Finn an unheated glare as he sat up and opened his mouth to shoot back a reply when all of a sudden he went pale as a sheet, eyes dazed. Everyone in the room froze, looking at him nervously.

Finn was kneeling in front of him in a flash, Logan already holding his hand too tightly from his spot beside him. “Leo?”

The blond squeezed his eyes shut and leaned into Logan heavily. “Hurts,” he managed to grit out while Logan wrapped an arm around his waist and held him close, combing his fingers through a riotous mess of curls. He locked gazes with Finn and saw a different kind of pain from Leo’s, but identical to Logan’s, reflected there as he watched helplessly.

Maybe they should’ve accepted the risks and stayed at the hospital. They’d be sitting ducks there, but at least it wouldn’t be this. Logan would take the uncomfortable chairs and the nurse who talked too much and the stress over the heavy weight pressed against him, the shaky, too-measured breaths, the soulful brown eyes that matched his own.

It felt like all the decisions he’d been making recently were the wrong ones. It would be nice to not put his partners through pain because of his poor decisions for once.

Hope was by their side then, holding out a glass of water and two pills. Logan hadn’t even noticed Finn set the prescriptions down on the entryway table. “I think it’s time to take these now.” Leo refused to move from his current spot, but he took the pills and followed them with a quick drink of water. A muffled “thank you” was murmured into the material of Logan’s shirt, quiet and a little tense.

Hope just smiled sympathetically. “You’re probably going to get really sleepy in the next thirty minutes or so,” she continued, giving the three of them a look. Like she knew something. “So if there’s any conversations that can’t wait until the morning…”

Loops came by his eerie observation skills naturally, it seemed.

Logan looked to Remus and the others, hoping that all the planning could wait until the morning. They were exhausted. Surely they’d be ok without them for a few hours.

“Go get some rest,” Loops said gently, motioning down the hallway. “There’s a guest bedroom down there, second door on the left. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

Finn made a beeline for the bathroom as soon as they reached the bedroom, muttering about how he’d needed to use the restroom since they’d all piled into the van. Leo toed off his shoes while Logan hovered, unsure if he should offer to help or not, his heart still in his throat. Leo just sent him a weary, affectionate smile. It tugged viciously at Logan’s heart and made him want to pull his partner close and not let go. Ever.

“I’m ok, sweetheart.”

He could’ve cried at the relief of hearing that nickname again. “You sure?” He asked, just to be safe.

Leo’s face was inscrutable as he cautiously sat down on the bed. “If I keep telling myself that… eventually I’ll start to believe it, right?”

Logan didn’t have an answer to that, not at first. But he remembered the feeling from after missions that had gone belly-up, the few that he wasn’t sure he was going to make it out of. The disbelief that somehow, after all of that, he was still alive and ok. It felt like trying to find his way through a snowstorm when all he could see was blinding, overwhelming white.

He wasn’t about to let Leo navigate that without a guide.

He sat down next to Leo and grabbed his hand, moving down to the pulse-point at his wrist and feeling tendons flex and shift under his fingertips. It beat, steady and strong, when he pressed down lightly. He knew Leo could feel it, too.

“You’re here.” Logan said simply. It was a tactic he used on bad days, when everything got to be too much. That little pulse, a sign of life and resilience. The two of them shared that now, that resilience and refusal to die that flowed through their veins.

Leo stared at him, eyes so soft and a hue that Logan wanted to engrave into his memory. “Logan,” he said quietly, right as Finn flung the bathroom door open again. His mouth was in the process of opening to tell a joke when he saw the two of them and snapped it shut again with an audible click, unsure of what to do next.

Leo shared a look with Logan and a conversation passed between the two, silent but apparently crystal clear. Finn couldn’t quite tell if it was excitement or anxiety dancing in his stomach, but either way he wasn’t sure he liked the sensation.

He had a feeling he knew what was coming. They’d been tip-toeing around this conversation for too long now, and they’d finally reached the tipping point. However this conversation went, he knew their relationship would never be the same, and that scared him. There was comfort in things known and familiar, after all.

This felt like hanging out of a perfectly-good plane and not knowing if the parachute strapped to his back was going to work or not.

But everyone who took the jump said it was worth it, in the end. Finn desperately hoped they were right.

“I think we should talk.” Logan said quietly, patting the open spot on the bed next to him. The dreaded words. No one ever wanted to hear those words.

Finn made his way towards them, too afraid to make eye contact, and sat down gingerly. Feet firmly planted on the floor, one hand braced on the bed, tense and ready to get up and take flight if he felt like he needed to. “We’re finally going to have this conversation, huh?” he asked with a fake laugh that fell flat, finally glancing up. Looking at the two of them, side by side and seeming to just know each other in a way Finn felt like he didn’t, he wondered where he fit into all of this.

If he fit in at all.

God, he hoped he fit in.

“Look,” Leo started, voice steady and resolute like he was getting ready to rip off the proverbial bandaid. It did nothing to calm Finn down. “Logan and I talked a while ago, about us. And, um – well, we want to be together. All three of us.”

Finn blinked once, twice. The words weren’t exactly computing, not after spending so long telling himself that this would never happen, could never happen. “Oh.”

“You had to know,” Logan said, sounding confused. “You had to know how we felt. None of us were exactly subtle.”

“I… I hoped.” Finn managed to get out before he got distracted by Logan’s soft touch against the curve of his cheekbone, creating his own constellations out of the freckles there. Finn let his eyes close and focused on the point of contact. He had hoped, even if he’d tried to stamp it out most days. He’d hoped and he’d yearned and he’d ached, and now – finally, unbelievably – he might be getting exactly what he’d wanted. “I knew how the two of you felt about each other, I just… wasn’t sure where that left me.”

“Finn…” He heard the sheets rustle as Leo scooted closer and opened his eyes again.

“Can you blame me?” Finn let Leo hold his hand and slot their fingers together, a painfully delicate motion. He stared down at them, noticing faint green bruising from an IV line and deeper, purple discoloration from that one time Finn tried to catch himself before he hit the ground after a brutal punch. They matched, in a sick, twisted way.

But they were both healing – skin stitching itself slowly back together and aches fading little by little. There was a poignant symbolism there, Finn thought, musing over the words he needed to say. Talking about the doubts and the hurt and the confusion surrounding the three of them might be painful in the moment, but healing would always follow, even if it took a while.

He was thrilled that they wanted him, don’t get him wrong, but that didn’t have the ability to just wipe away the hurt of the past week. “You seemed happy together, just the two of you.” He thought of the coffee shop and watching them from his table with June. Or the hotel room the next day, the stolen glances and furtive touches. “I didn’t want to get in the way of that, not if I wasn’t wanted.”

One of the other two made a broken sound; Finn wasn’t sure who it was. The hand on his cheek moved to his chin and Logan ducked his head to meet Finn’s eyes again, fierce and sincere – a combination that encompassed the very core of the fighter.

“I’ve wanted you since that crazy New Year’s party.” He said with conviction and Finn laughed a little at the memories.

“Then why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Why didn’t you?” Logan challenged, signaling a change in the winds. Finn could see the storm brewing in those green eyes. “We were partners. Adding a relationship to the mix would only complicate things.”

“So what changed?” Finn let his frustration bleed through, ignoring Leo’s squeeze to his hand. “You’re saying two completely different things right now and it’s confusing as hell.”

Logan bit back, voice suddenly loud and harsh. “You think this is how I wanted to fall in love?”

Leo and Finn stared at him. No one had mentioned love. Not yet, at least. Logan seemed to recognize the intensity of his words and his shoulders slumped, but he didn’t take them back. Finn wasn’t sure if he was grateful for that or terrified because of it.

“It’s not supposed to be this hard, is it?” the brunet asked, voice a softer murmur. “Why couldn’t the three of us be normal and meet at, like, college or a coffee shop or something?”

Silence greeted him, heavy and suffocating.

“Because these are the cards we were dealt,” Leo said finally, looking between the two of them. “And yeah, it might be a shitty hand, but don’t you think it’d be worth it? After all that we’ve been through, choosing each other instead of letting the fear pull us apart?”

“Sounds like something out of a romance novel.”

Leo shrugged his good shoulder at Logan’s words, a conscientious effort to keep the other side of his body completely still. Finn ached a little at the sight. “Love isn’t easy, not for anyone. It’s a choice you make, day after day.” Blue eyes the color of a cloudless afternoon sky were calm and free of conflict when he looked at them again. “I’ve made my choice. What about you?”

Finn stared at him for what felt like forever, then blurted, “Did you rehearse that or something? What the fuck, Nutty.”

The resulting smile on Leo’s face was a welcomed reprieve from the earlier storm, placid and radiant. How was Finn supposed to do anything else but lean over, cup his cheeks in his hands, and press his lips against that smile?

Leo kissed a little distractedly, like he wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to do first. The hand not caught in a sling flitted from auburn hair to fist in his t-shirt, then migrated lower to wrap around Finn’s back, long fingers splayed against his spine. But his mouth was soft and sweet against Finn’s, returning his kisses happily, and the combination of the two were just so Leo that Finn’s stomach swooped and his heart flopped in his chest.

He pulled back for air, an unfortunate necessity, and took in the sight in front of him. Leo’s eyes were still closed and that smile still graced kiss-swollen lips as he swayed towards Finn, clearly wanting more. Finn smiled too, irrevocably charmed, and kissed his cheek, his jaw, that cute little indent in his chin, then the curve of his smile again. He could never, not in a hundred years, get enough of this.

And then Logan met his gaze from beside the blond, eyes fond and warm as he watched them and ran his fingers up and down Finn’s thigh, the motion raising goosebumps on Finn’s arms – the air dense and volatile around them like the instant before lightning struck. Finn needed to kiss him, too. To learn the difference between the way he kissed to keep up pretenses on a mission and the way he kissed when he meant it. Finn kept Leo close with a hand on his waist and tilted Logan’s head up to kiss him, deep and intense. It was thrilling and a little wild; so different from kissing Leo, but just as captivating. Always unpredictable, the kiss morphed from charged to surprisingly, achingly gentle – a thunderstorm melting into a comforting spring shower. Finn was reminded of shoving the couch up against the wall nearest to the window during storms as a kid, watching the raindrops track down the glass, and the sound of the world going silent save for the wind and the thunder and the rain hitting the roof like the pounding of drums – a symphony just for him to witness. He sighed against soft lips and sank into the kiss, listening for the intricacies of this new, unknown melody.

The rustle of clean sheets, a hitch in breath followed by a deep exhale, the steady beat of the old clock hung on the wall, a hum against his lips.

Then Leo was leaning in to kiss Finn’s pulse-point, firm enough to bruise and tender enough to make Finn’s eyelashes flutter. Finn canted his head to the side, stretching his neck to give Leo more skin to claim, and pulled Logan in again. A duet shifting to a trio and slotting perfectly into place, patching the gaps in the music that Finn didn’t even notice were there.

This was worth it. It had to be. As much as it would kill him – or any of them, really – to love them and then lose them, that would still be better than not loving them at all.

They’d wanted this for so long now, all of them. Even with all the stress and hurt and doubt, Finn couldn’t help but feel a little giddy. For fuck’s sake, he was kissing Logan. It wasn’t part of a mission. And Leo was still pressing kiss after kiss to his neck because he wanted to. They wanted each other.

Screw panicking about losing them. Finn was done missing things because he was worried about things that might not even happen. It wasn’t something he could just will away or turn off, of course, but he could actively make sure he was living in the current moment. And right then, the current moment was making out with his boys in a cabin in the middle of nowhere.

He loved the current moment.

The kiss turned to simply smiling against Logan’s mouth, delirious with contentment, so Finn broke away and pulled Logan in for a hug, then gently maneuvered Leo to join them, making sure his wound was well out of the way. They stayed like that for a long time, relaxing in the closeness and adjusting to the newness of all of this. And even though it was new, it was already something they were quickly getting addicted to. The string connecting Finn’s heart to theirs cinched tighter and pulled sharply. For the first time, he didn’t mind it in the slightest. It was no longer a painful reminder of what he couldn’t have, it was an exhilarating sign that were all irreversibly intertwined, both in each other’s arms and in this crazy mess that was their lives.

Leo interrupted the moment with a yawn, blinking sleepily. Finn smiled a little at the sight – he almost felt like he was doing too much of that in the past few minutes, but sleepy Leo was simply adorable.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed.” Logan urged. It would be a tight squeeze, the three of them in that bed, but now they could cuddle and press close without pretending it didn’t happen the next morning. Finn sighed happily at the thought and headed for the light switch. The light from the lamp on the bedside table illuminated his way back to his boys, all soft and stretched out next to each other under a pale comforter. It was a much-needed reprieve from the chaos of their current situation that Finn was all to eager to take advantage of.

He watched as Logan propped himself up on one arm to look down at Leo, hand trailing through that tuft of gray hair and then tugging on it playfully. They shared a smile before Logan leaned down the rest of the way to kiss him, assured and familiar and unrushed. They’d done this before. The knowledge didn’t tear at Finn’s heart like it would have a week ago, because now he knew that they felt the same way about him. And he was falling for them, too. Watching the two boys he was half in love with already so comfortable and loving with each other? How was Finn supposed to handle all the emotions bubbling over in his chest? He crawled into bed next to Logan and flicked the lamp off, settling the room into darkness.

Logan settled in to sleep facing Finn and with Leo’s reassuring warmth behind him. His eyes closed and time slowed, a blessed mercy. The events of tomorrow felt years away in that still, quiet moment. But there was something prodding at the back of Logan’s mind – some strange, uncomfortable feeling that he could quite place, until he realized that everything was too still, too quiet. His mind flashed to the litany of “what ifs” that had looped in his brain like a mantra back in that hospital room and he rolled over quickly, shuffling over until his head was pillowed on Leo’s chest, far away from the bandages.

Thump-thump.

Leo’s chest rose and fell under Logan’s head as he breathed and Logan let himself relax, reaching blindly behind him until he found Finn’s arm and flung it over himself, loosely intertwining their fingers over his chest. Finn moved in closer to press against his back and tangle their legs together. He sighed before going still again, breaths deep and even.

And Logan finally, finally let himself drift off to sleep.

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Lee says:

I’m 1 week and 5 days post-op and continuing my post-phallo supplies post series! I’ll write about which items I got, which ones I used, and which ones I found helpful.

(For those who don’t know what ALT phalloplasty is, see this post!)

Today’s post-phallo item is an eye mask.

[Image description: A black, red, and blue eye mask. /End ID]

While an eye mask isn’t a form of PPE, it’s still essential to have when you go to the hospital!

(Sidenote: Everyone has been talking about PPE-type face masks for the past year but that’s something different! I did have to wear a face mask until I went into the operating room. Then I had the face mask on again when I woke up in the post-anesthesia care unit. But when I was transferred to the hospital room I stayed in for the next 6 days I actually didn’t have to wear a face mask because I am fully vaccinated and was Covid tested before my surgery. I did have to put a face mask on to go into the hallway, but in my own room I could be maskless.)

When you’re in the hospital, it’s never going to be 100% dark. There is always light coming from somewhere-- even when they darken the hallway at 10 pm, it’s still lit up.

The machines that display vitals and the IV machines in the room have bright screens, and they start to beep often which makes a nurse come in and flip on all the lights to see if your vitals are weird or if your IV bag needs changing.

The nurses also will come in literally once every hour all through the night and flip on all the lights to check your vitals and use the Doppler to see the blood flow in your penis. That’s in addition to the times they come in to help you get something or to address the beeping.

After the first few days the nurses come every two hours, then every 4 hours, but unfortunately the nurses aren’t the only people waking you up.

The residents came by at 10 pm and 4 am to talk to me and check me out, occupational and physical therapists would stop by during the day, you’ll have meals delivered, people come to change the trash, and so on.

Basically, if you want to sleep for longer than 1 hour uninterrupted, you’ll need to get an eye mask so the light from the hallway, the light from the machines, and the lights turned on by all the people entering your room don’t fully wake you up.

One of the most important things in choosing an eye mask is the adjustability. If the band that goes around your head is too big or too small, it won’t fit comfortably and it’ll pinch your head or slide off so it doesn’t block the light. So that rules out all the eye masks that aren’t adjustable and just have stretchy cords in the back-- the cord is always too tight at first, and then it becomes stretched out and there’s no way to re-tighten it.

While eye masks with Velcro on the straps are adjustable, Velco is also something that I feel like should not be near your head because it can make a crunchy noise and if you have long hair (which I don’t, but I remember what it was like!) it will get stuck in there. It’s also a little difficult to adjust with one hand.

I like the kind that have the adjustable slider (like the image above) so you can just move it over. These can get long hair tangled in too, but it’s not as bad as Velcro, and there’s no extra strap hanging off the end because it just changes the loop size so it’s neater and feels more comfortable when your head is laying on the pillow because you don’t feel the tail of the strap going off who-know-where.

Another thing I find really important in choosing an eye mask is the feel of it because I have sensory issues. I don’t like materials that are too plastic-y, or have rough seams and tags, but this eye mask feels soft and slightly silky so I feel comfortable putting it on my face.

I like that the masks come in a pack of 3 because it means if one falls on the hospital floor you can just put on another one. This is also helpful for people who get really hot and sweaty in the Bair Hugger because they might get the eye mask all sweaty too and want to use another one because the first one got gross. 

These eye masks are hand-wash only, but I’ve thrown them in the washing machine anyway. If you send some home with a visitor to wash and bring back to you the next day, you should tell them to put them in a delicates bag and treat them as delicates if you want them to last longer. But if you’re washing them in the washing machine pretty frequently, you might have to buy a new set after a year even if you use the delicates bag and cycle. But that’s plenty long enough to get you through the hospital stay after stage 1!

If there’s any single item you can bring with you to the hospital to have as soon as possible, I’d recommend the eye mask. The ceiling lights were shining in my eyes when I was laying on my back in the post-anesthesia care unit immediately after surgery before I got transferred to my room and I kept thinking “Damn, I shoulda brought one mask in my pocket!” because they brought me my clothes and other items they had taken from me before surgery back before my family was allowed to bring me all my things that we had packed for the stay.

Pros:

Soft

Large enough to cover eyes

Adjustable non-velcro strap

Slightly contoured so they don’t press on your eyes

Comes in a pack of three

Cons:

Can be a little warm to have on your face when you’re in the Bair Hugger

Not supposed to be machine-washable (but that’s an inconvenience related to long-term ownership of the eye masks, won’t be an issue with your 6-day hospital stay)

Where to buy:

Other reviews:

Reacher/grabber

Lap desk

Wound care supplies

Resistance bands

[hangovercurse]

Stay With You ii

You get the call after Rook’s accident and go to the hospital to take care of him.

Requests: “ Could you maybe write another Rook story about where you get the call after his accident that he’s in the hospital and just always staying there with him and when his dad shows up he sees you leaning on the bed sleeping holding Rooks hand or something and he knows you’ll take care of him? I just really love Rook “ “ I was wondering if you know what happened to rook and if you could write something cute like taking care of him after being worried at first about him. I had a mental breakdown when we got the news I'm hoping he gets well soon “

JP “Rook” Cappelletty X Reader

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of the accident (violence, broken bones, etc.), angst

A/N: I needed something happy to come out of this situation so... I wrote it.

Word Count: 2372

part i

You woke up a few hours later to Rook moving under you, your eyes finding his instantly. “Hey baby, how are you feeling?” You asked as you sat up, a smile on your face as you saw that the bruising on his face was fading. He had clearly just woken up as well, sleep still in his eyes.

“Better, I think. Awake.” You nodded, moving the pillow from his lap.

“Your dad’s here.” You said softly, nodding your head towards the man who was sleeping in the chair against the wall. You giggled at the sight and Rook let out a chuckle.

“I’m hungry” He whined and you frowned, remembering what the anesthesiologist told you about no food 8 hours before surgery. He was scheduled to go in at 10 am, and it was currently 5 am.

“I’m sorry, babe. The doctor said no food until after the surgery. I can see if they’ll let you eat jello if you want.” He frowned and you reached up to rub his face. You could tell this was going to be a long 8 weeks.

Truth be told, Rook was a baby when he got sick. He would lay in bed and whine until you agreed to cuddle with him. And if he wanted something, he would pout until he got it. But you kind of loved it. “I’ll be right back.” You whispered, standing up to go find a nurse.

He smiled at you, “can you hand me my phone?” He asked. You moved to the other side of his bed where his phone lay on a table and handed it to him. “I’m gonna see if Colson’s still up.”

You nodded, happy that the two boys were so close. You put your mask on and left the room, flagging down one of the nurses working the night shift.

When you got back into the room with 2 cups of lemon-flavored jello, Johnny was up and the father and son were having a light conversation. You set the cups on the tray and moved it so it was in front of Rook. He tried to raise his hands but you could tell he was struggling. He let out a sigh and looked at you, embarrassment in his eyes.

You smiled lightly, trying not to giggle at his helplessness. “Do you want me to help you?” You asked and he gave a nod, pouting. You adjusted his bed so he was sitting up fully.

“Can you sit next to me?” Johnny let out a laugh as you rolled your eyes a little bit.

Rook tried to shift over in the bed, but you could tell it was hurting him. “Baby stop, you’re gonna hurt yourself.” You sighed.

“I want you to sit on the bed with me.”

You looked at his dad, an exasperated look in your eyes. He just chuckled and turned back to his phone. “I don’t want to hurt you.” You frowned, taking notice of the fact that there was very little room on the bed to begin with.

He squinted his eyes at you, still pouting. “You won’t hurt me.” You raised your eyebrow and moved to sit halfway on the bed, your right thigh resting on the mattress but the majority of your weight still on your left foot on the ground. “Not good enough.”

You rolled your eyes, scooting closer so that your back was against the back of the bed, turned on your side. He smiled, reaching his arm up slowly to try and wrap it around your shoulders. You glared at him, but he shot you a “My hand is broken, not my arm.”

You sighed, sitting up and leaning onto his chest, where you knew he wanted you. You pulled your other leg onto the bed, careful not to put any pressure against his. You leaned up slightly, putting weight on your right hand as your left grabbed the jello cup beside the bed. He opened his mouth and you rolled your eyes. “I don’t like how much you’re enjoying this.”

You placed a small spoonful of the yellow food into his mouth, making him smile. “In a few years, its gonna be you in this bed and I’ll be feeding you jello.” You tilted your head at his words, furrowing your eyebrows. “Y’know, when you’re giving birth to our kid.”

You blushed, a smile making its way to your face. You knew JP wanted kids at some point, and you did too. But you guys had never really talked about it. And now he was bringing it up so casually. Before you could respond, the door opened, and in walked Colson with a backpack full of what he called “everything Rook will ever need,” which you assumed to mean weed and tequila.

Rook smiled, “Yo, dude, what’s up?” Colson threw the bag onto the floor on the opposite side of the bed from you.

“How are you, man?” Colson asked, throwing himself onto the chair next to it.

Rook shrugged, “I’ve been better.” He chuckled and you rolled your eyes, a small giggle coming from you. “Y/N’s feeding me, so it’s not too bad.”

His dad spoke up, “You’re forcing Y/N to feed you jello, you mean?” You laughed at that as Rook’s shoulders fell. “Nice to see you, Kelly.”

“You too, Johnny. I like the new hair.” Colson smiled at the older man, who thanked him. “So, what did the doctors say?”

Rook gave him the rundown, one surgery today, Wednesday, and another on Friday. Casts on his hands for 6 weeks and on his legs for longer. The four of you spoke for a while afterwards and then Colson pulled out a game of connect four (which you raised your eyebrows at but Rook seemed excited about it).

Eventually the Anesthesiologist, Dr. Stenson, came in with a few nurses to take Rook to surgery. You had to climb off the bed, much to Rook’s dismay. “I can’t go into surgery with you, dummy.” But part of you wished you could stay with him because you did not like the way those nurses were looking at him. Colson noticed your distaste and chuckled, causing you to send him a glare.

“He’s going to be very drowsy when he comes back once the anesthesia wears off.” Dr. Stenson said, and you smiled at the thought of Rook on anesthesia, which he claimed would be “just like being high.” Dr. Stenson shook his head at that.

Before he was wheeled out of the room on his bed, he made grabby hands at you as best as he could. You leaned closer to him, pressing your lips against his quickly. “I love you, Y/N” He said, quietly. He didn’t mind anyone else hearing, but he wanted these words to be only for you.

“I love you too.” You said, just as quietly. He leaned back up to kiss you again, making you smile. You were starting to love helpless Rook; it was just endless attention and neediness.

The nurses took him off to surgery, leaving you, Johnny, and Colson alone in the room together. You collapsed onto the chair you had slept in, letting out a sigh as Colson chuckled at you. “Shut up.” You scrunched your nose at him, curling into the chair and bringing the pillow under your head.

“You guys are cute, what?” He asked, defensively, but the smile on his face was anything but.

You pouted, trying to push yourself further into the chair to find some comfort, but you knew your attempts to sleep were futile. You groaned, sitting up and throwing your head down towards your chest. “I’m so tired.” You mumbled, causing the two men to laugh.

“This is your life for the next 2 months.” Johnny chuckled. “If he doesn’t marry you after this then you need to leave his ass.”

You chuckled, the irony of his dad telling you that made it even funnier. “I can’t believe he still hasn’t proposed.” Colson shook his head in disappointment.  

A laugh fell from your mouth. “It’s funny how everyone is more impatient than I am for my own proposal.”

“I don’t understand how you’re so patient! I’ve barely been with Megan a whole year and I already wanna marry her.” Colson threw his head back against the back of his chair.

“I mean it’s not like I’m worried it’s not gonna happen. We were just talking about kids. He just doesn’t feel the rush, I guess. I don’t either, what’s the big deal with getting married anyways?”

Colson tilted his head at you, “It’s like, this huge proclamation of your love. Like you’re telling the whole world that you’re gonna love each other for the rest of your lives.”

You shrugged, looking down at your nails. “I mean, we don’t really need big proclamations. It’s in the little things. I love him, he loves me.”

You could feel both men’s eyes on yours and heat ran to your cheeks as you thought about the idea of a white dress. “But you do wanna get married, right?” Johnny asked and you smiled.

“Of course, I just don’t want to push him into something like that. He’ll ask when he’s ready.”

Colson shook his head as you looked back up, “He is one lucky motherfucker. Literally every other person would’ve kicked his ass by now.” You chuckled, not saying anything. “Wait you guys were talking about kids?”

You nodded, “right before you got here, actually.”

Colson furrowed his eyebrows, “I never saw him as the type, honestly.”

You smiled widely, “He brought it up.” Colson shrugged, a hum coming from his mouth. “I think it’d be kinda nice. I don’t know how it would work with him being on tour all the time, but that’s a discussion for another day.”

“I seriously can’t imagine Rook being a dad.”

“Can you imagine Rook getting married?” You giggled as Colson shook his head.

“Well I, for one, am looking forward to being a grandad, so hop on that.” Johnny said and you laughed. You spent the rest of the time while Rook was in surgery playing connect four and eating shitty hospital food, trying to keep your mind off the fact that Rook was in fucking surgery.

When he did get back, it was a sight to behold. The nurses wheeled him back into the room, his eyes lighting up when he saw you. “Y/NNN!” He slurred, “Look at my beautiful girlfriend.” He said to the nurses and you and Colson busted out laughing. “She’s so cool. She comes on tour with me sometimes, and we partyyy.” He made a dancing motion with his arms even though they his right was in a very large cast.

“Okay Rookie, the nurses are gonna leave now, okay?” You said, trying to hide your laughter. The nurses gave you a look of thanks and left the room after leaving you with a list of what he could and couldn’t do. Colson took his phone out and started recording, knowing that whatever Rook was gonna say next would be funny.

The surgery went well according to them, but the doctors would be in later when the medicine wore off to tell you more. “How are you feeling?” You asked, knowing he wouldn’t give a real answer.

“I feel greeeat. I’d feel better if my fiancé were laying with me right now, but other than that I am just fine.”

You cocked an eyebrow, an amused look on your face. “Your fiancé?”

“Yeahhhh.”

“When did you propose?” You giggled, looking over to his dad and Colson who were both cracking up.

A look of realization crossed Rook’s face, “Oh shit, I forgot that step, didn’t I?” You nodded, “Do you wanna get married?” You bent over in laughter at his innocent expression. He pouted at you, whining. “Why are you laughing I’m asking you to marry me?”

You tried to speak through your laughs, “I’m sorry babe.” You took a deep breath in, “I’m not laughing at you.”

“So, you don’t wanna get married?” He asked, getting very upset.

“I do, baby. I do. But you gotta get a ring.”

“Oh yeaaaah.” He looked over at Colson. “Colson, where’s the ring?” Your head snapped to Colson, whose face went red.

“Dude you didn’t get a ring.” He tried to cover it up but you could tell he was lying.

Your eyes went wide and your mouth hung open. “Yes I did, I told you to bring the ring with you when you came.” He whined.

You giggled, hand going to your mouth. “Oh wait.” He said, turning back to you. “I can’t ask you to marry me right now. I gotta get down on one knee and my legs are broken.”

Johnny had an amused look on his face when you looked over to him for help. “Okay, Rookie. I’ll forget that you proposed and then when your legs get better you can do it again, okay?”

He nodded, “But you’ll still say yes, right?”

“I’ll still say yes.” You smiled, eyes closing as you continued to laugh. “You should get some sleep, hun.” You moved his braids out of his face.

“I wanna cuddle.” He pouted.

“You just had surgery; I can’t give you cuddles.” You frowned as he looked sad.

“Why don’t you love me?”

“I do love you, Rookie. I just can’t cuddle you with your arm broken.” You could hear Colson wheezing from the opposite side of the bed. “Get some sleep and we can cuddle when you wake up.”

He groaned but leaned back into the bed anyways, slowly drifting off to sleep. You turned to Colson, eyes wide and face red. “You had a whole conversation about marriage while you had his ring in your bag?” You whisper screamed.

He raised his hands up in surrender, “I was just doing what I was told. I didn’t think he’d propose to you while he was high off his ass on anesthesia.” He chuckled.

Johnny chuckled, “at least you got it on video.” You sighed and rolled your eyes, putting your face in your hands.

“Congratulations!” Colson said, eyes swinging up in the air.

[honey-dewey]

When I’m Older and I’m Wiser

Pairing: Marcus Moreno/ Dentist Reader

Word Count: 4,262

Warnings: General medical fic involving dentistry and recovering from wisdom tooth surgery. Mentions of pills, blood, needles, and Marcus being very high. Some use of (F/N) (L/N), but not much.

How the hell Marcus Moreno has gotten this far in his life without getting his wisdom teeth removed is beyond you. But that fateful day comes, and honestly you really should just quit being the Heroic’s dentist because it’s probably taking years off your life. Mostly because your current patient is very cute, very high, and in your care for the next 24 hours, which is a dangerous combination.

“Ow.” 

Missy looked over from where she’d been getting a second glass of milk, turning her attention to her dad. Marcus was staring at the eggs on his plate, seemingly frozen. The look on his face could only be described as offended, as if the eggs had just bit him back. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked, sitting back down and nudging Marcus with her foot. 

“Hurts,” Marcus mumbled, putting a hand to his cheek. The last thing he had expected was pain upon eating scrambled eggs, but it was there. 

Missy shrugged, digging into her own eggs. “Could it be a cavity?” 

Marcus shook his head, moving his hand to his other cheek. “Both sides.” 

“Two cavities?” 

Giving Missy a playful dirty look, Marcus took another bite of eggs, face scrunching when the pain persisted. 

Missy raised an eyebrow, and Marcus suddenly regretted having a tiny powerhouse of a daughter. “When was the last time you saw Dr. (L/N)?”

“Uh,” Marcus squirmed a bit under her judgmental gaze, thinking back. “I made an appointment right before your mother passed, but then she died and we were in mourning, and then I quit actively hero-ing full time, and then I took a while off to raise you, and then I started my new job, and then I was kidnapped by aliens, so I dunno. A few years?” 

“A few years?” Missy said, cocking her head slightly. “You make me go every six months!” 

“You’re still growing!” Marcus defended. “I’d be an awful parent if I didn’t keep up with your health.” 

Missy sighed. “Please tell me you’ve seen an actual doctor recently.” 

Marcus nodded. “Saw my GP last month.” 

“Good,” Missy said. “Can you see Dr. (L/N) today please?” 

Again, Marcus nodded. “Y’know, sometimes I wonder just who’s running this household.” 

“It’s me.” 

“I know kiddo. I know.”

Their drive to Heroic headquarters was silent, but comfortable, as it usually was. Marcus parked, the throbbing in his jaw just getting worse as he and Missy got on the bus into headquarters. Missy broke off in the reception area, heading down the hall with a wave. Marcus waved back, smiling at her as she disappeared. 

Wiping his hands on his shirt, Marcus walked up to the receptionist, who gave him a friendly smile. “Hello Marcus, what can I do for you?” 

“Hey Rhea,” Marcus said, leaning slightly on the counter. “When’s my first meeting?” 

Rhea hummed, putting his name into the computer and clicking a few times. “Looks like your earliest meeting is at 2:30.” 

“Awesome,” Marcus groaned. “Does Dr. (L/N) have any available appointments in the morning?” 

“Has someone been skipping out on the dentist?” Rhea said jokingly, moving to a different computer screen. “Was it Missy who made you go?” 

“Yeah.” 

Rhea laughed. “That kid,” she said softly. “And you’re in luck. Dr. (L/N) has an available appointment in half an hour, at nine. I’ll get you set up with it, okay?” 

Marcus sighed. “Yeah, that works. Thank you Rhea. I’ll see you later.” 

He waited for his appointment in the hero lounge, reading a book and chewing absently on his thumb nail. When his watch read ten 'til nine, he put his book in his bag and began to make his way down to the medical wing of the building. 

The medical wing was not one Marcus was in frequently. He knew some of the staff, but not all of them. But he waved to them all the same, eventually reaching the dentist’s section with five minutes to spare. 

��Mr. Moreno!” The nurse behind the reception counter said cheerily. “I thought it had to be a mistake when I saw you had an appointment.” 

“Please,” Marcus said. “Just Marcus will do.” 

The nurse nodded. “Of course. The doctor will be right out. You’re her first of the day, and honestly, I think she thought your name was a typo too. It’s been too long.” 

Marcus sighed. “Yeah. Missy chewed me out about that earlier.” 

“I’ll bet.” The nurse gestured to a row of chairs. “Take a seat. I’ll go see if the doc is ready.” 

Marcus sat down, rubbing his hands up and down his thighs in an effort to calm his nerves. 

“Moreno?” 

He looked up, heart suddenly beating fast. Standing in the doorway that separated the waiting room from the actual office was Dr. (L/N), looking very expectant and a tiny bit disappointed. 

———

Marcus stood, following you back into the office. His steps behind you were nervous, a high contrast to the confident clicking of your shoes. 

“Long time no see,” you said, pushing open a door and gesturing Marcus into the exam room. “What finally brought you back?” 

“Aside from Missy?” Marcus asked, sitting in the chair and rocking his left foot back and forth on the ankle. “I woke up this morning and it hurt to eat breakfast.” 

You nodded, washing your hands and donning a pair of gloves. “And there wasn’t any pain last night?” 

“Maybe a tiny bit.” Marcus watched you sit on a rolling stool, moving so you were just at his side. “But nothing I was worried about.” 

You crossed your legs, thinking. “Did you do any intense training in the past 24 hours?”

“Nothing involving my head.” 

“Well then it’s probably just a cavity or two,” you decided, rolling closer to Marcus’s head and putting both feet on the floor. “Let’s take a look, get some x-rays, and see if we can’t have you feeling better soon.” 

You adjusted the chair so Marcus was staring up at the ceiling, and at a large space mobile you’d hung ages ago. “Ready?” 

“As I’ll ever be.” 

You smiled, pulling a mask up over your nose. “Relax Marcus. I’m not gonna hurt you on purpose.” 

Marcus still squirmed a bit as you examined his mouth, your brows knitting tighter and tighter as you realized this wasn’t a simple case of a few cavities. 

“Marcus,” you said slowly, sitting him up and tugging your mask down under your chin. “You’re in your forties, right?”

“Yeah?” 

“Please tell me you don’t still have your wisdom teeth.” 

Marcus shrugged. “I don’t know. Why? Is that a bad thing?” 

“Most people have theirs removed when they’re teenagers,” you explained, pulling down the x-ray machine. “That way, there’s less risk of nerve damage. It’s not a bad thing to have them removed later in life, but it does come with higher risks.” 

“Oh.” The reassurance didn’t comfort Marcus much as you softly directed him through the various x-rays. 

You pulled the piece of plastic out of his mouth as the final x-ray hit your computer. “Sorry about that,” you said, watching Marcus rub his face. “I know it sucks. But, good news, I have an answer for you.” 

You let Marcus turn so he was facing your computer. “It’s definitely your wisdom teeth,” you said, tugging your gloves off and pointing at the computer screen. “See? All four of them are coming in, which is impressive. I can probably take them out tomorrow, honestly. Those suckers can get really painful really fast, so we’re gonna want to take care of it as soon as possible.” 

Marcus paled. “Tomorrow?” 

“That would be best.” You put a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, it’ll be okay. I do one of these surgeries like, once a month. I know what I’m doing, and you’re going to be just fine.” 

“Okay,” Marcus said, nodding and staring at you. “I believe you.” 

You smiled. “Perfect. So I can schedule your surgery for super early tomorrow, I’m thinking around seven, maybe seven thirty. We wanna get it out of the way early because you can’t eat anything for twelve hours beforehand.” As you explained, you gathered some papers from a desk drawer. “I assume you want general anesthesia.” 

“Is that the option where I sleep through it all?” 

“Yep,” you said, stapling the papers together and handing them to Marcus. “As per protocol, we’re going to need reassurance you’ll be with a responsible adult guardian for at least forty eight, if not seventy two hours post surgery. The first twelve to twenty hour can be brutal, so you definitely want someone there during that.”

Marcus shook his head. “I haven’t got anyone besides my mom, who I assumed would be taking Missy while I healed.” 

“That’s okay,” you promised. “We can get someone here to care for you for two days. You’d have to stay here at headquarters, but you’d be comfortable and cared for. Whatever you do, I’ll call in some pain prescriptions and the like for you to pick up after work today. Just see the pharmacy out front and they’ll give the pills to you.” 

You stood, gesturing Marcus up. “So, to recap. Get here early tomorrow, no food after seven tonight, and wear comfy clothes. Most patients go with sweatpants, but you go with whatever is most comfortable to you. Bring a change of pyjamas and your prescriptions if you’re staying with us, and I’ll see you tomorrow Mr. Moreno,” you said as you led him back to the lobby. 

Tomorrow came faster than anticipated, and before you knew it, it was seven AM and you were waiting for Marcus with your nurse beside you. 

“Damn his mouth is messed up,” the nurse mumbled, looking over the x-rays. “All four?” 

“All four,” you agreed, smiling as the lobby door opened. “Mr. Moreno! Follow me. I assume you stuck with the rules I gave you yesterday?” 

“Yeah,” Marcus said, handing you the paper bag with his prescriptions and a small drawstring bag that presumably had clothes in it. “I’m gonna be staying here.” 

“Perfect,” you said, pushing open the operating room door. “I see we’re dressed for the occasion.” 

Marcus turned red, looking down at his soft black sleep pants and a worn out Fleetwood Mac shirt. “Yeah.” 

You put Marcus’s stuff down on the counter, handing him a small white cup. “That is a super powerful mouthwash,” you explained. “Take it, and do try and keep it in your mouth for a minute. I know it tastes horrible.” 

Marcus did try, but he only made it to thirty seconds before he had to spit out the disgustingly bitter mouthwash. 

You laughed at his face, pulling on your gloves. “Alright Marcus, that works.” 

He smiled softly, relaxing a tiny bit. “Thanks.” 

“I wouldn’t thank anyone who made me take that stuff,” you said, grabbing a thin tube and holding it out. “That goes under your nose and over your ears, just like that,” you praised as Marcus threaded the tube over his ears. “Now, can I see your hand?” 

Marcus let you clip a heart rate monitor to his right index finger, watching as you walked to his other side and held up the final thing. “And last, but not least.” 

Immediately, Marcus looked extremely nervous again. You put down the IV line and rubbed his shoulder, trying to work away some of the tension. “Hey. Look at me. Just a pinch, and then you can take a nice long nap, okay? Deep breaths Marcus, deep breaths.” 

Marcus took a breath, and you carefully took your hand off his shoulder. You slowly directed his head onto the chair’s headrest, still murmuring reassurances. “That’s it. Count the stars on my mobile out loud. I can’t remember how many there are.” 

“Okay.” Marcus looked up, slowly counting out loud as you found his vein and stuck him with the IV line as quickly as you could. You administered some of the anesthesia, smiling as Marcus’s numbers began to slip and slide, until he wasn’t even counting as much as he was just mumbling out random mushy words. 

“Goodnight Marcus.” 

You gestured the nurse in, and she smiled, taking Marcus’s glasses and setting them on top of his other things. You finished off the anesthesia, watching Marcus’s eyes close. 

When he woke again, it was to you pulling the IV line out and taping a cotton ball to his arm. “Wa’s happ’nin’?” He slurred around the cotton and the drugs. 

“The surgery was a success,” you explained softly, despite Marcus not really understanding you. “All four teeth came out with no issue, and we’re about to take you to recovery. Oh, Marcus, keep your head up.” 

Marcus struggled to keep his head upright, and you giggled, holding your hands out. “C’mon. Let’s get you into a real bed.” 

You’d been through this with many patients before Marcus, but he seemed to be a stand-out, as you had some trouble getting him in the wheelchair and down the hallways into the recovery wing. He definitely fell under the ever entertaining category of ‘toddler high’ patients. His slurred words and puppy dog eyes made you laugh more than once on your way to his room. You actually had to stop and pause to laugh when he slurred out that he thought you were an Angel. He simply watched you with an exaggerated worried expression, half his words getting lost as he tried to mumble something out. 

“What was that Marcus?” You asked, wiping your eyes and continuing down the hall with him. 

“You’re tho prethy.” He said, head tipping down. 

“Head up,” you coaxed softly, smiling despite yourself. “Look, there’s your room.” 

Getting him in the room, which was more of a small, one person condo space, was thankfully the hardest part. But once you were in, he was very sleepy putty in your hands. 

“Okay Marcus,” you said gently, helping him out of the wheelchair and onto the couch, piling a few pillows beneath his head “Do you want anything before you go to sleep?” 

Marcus looked up at you. Between his cotton stuffed cheeks and his wide doe eyes, he looked a tiny bit ridiculous. You smiled, pulling out your phone and snapping a quick picture while he was still drugged as hell. “Marcus?” 

“Mittenth.” 

“What?” 

Marcus pointed to his bag. “Mittenth.” 

You walked over to the bag, opening it up and finding a black and white stuffed cat right on top. “Oh. Mittens.” 

You handed the cat to Marcus, who immediately snuggled it to his chest and rolled over a bit, falling asleep instantly. 

Again, you couldn’t help but stare. He looked so innocent like this, all curled up and sleeping. You hesitated to call him adorable, but if the shoe fit.

You sighed, picking up your phone and trailing into the single bedroom. Changing quickly into your leisure clothes, you texted one of the people at the pharmacy and requested a few ice packs and a wisdom tooth slushee. Both things were delivered in a matter of minutes, and you placed them securely in the small freezer to wait for Marcus. 

When he woke up, he was significantly less high. Looking around, Marcus poked his cheeks and made a face. “I can’t feel my nose.” 

“The entire bottom half of your face is numb,” you pointed out from your position at the two person table in the kitchen. “And believe me, you’re gonna want it to stay that way.” 

Marcus sat up, looking over at you. “I’m hungry.” 

“No solids for a while,” you told him, standing and grabbing his slushee. “But you can have this. And before you ask, yes you have to use the spoon.” 

Marcus pouted, but took the slushee. “But the cotton.” 

You nodded, settling on the couch next to him. “Open wide.” 

Marcus did, allowing you to shove two fingers into his mouth and fish out the cotton. “Still bleeding,” you mumbled to yourself. “We’ll shove more in there when you’re done. For now,” You tipped the slushee at him. “Eat up.” 

You turned your attention to the TV while Marcus ate slowly, taking tiny bites and occasionally sticking his tongue out. “It’s really numb.” 

“That’ll fade by tomorrow morning,” you promised. “At noon I want you to take your first pills. Then you get more at one.” 

Again, Marcus pouted, but simply sank lower into the couch cushions and mindlessly watched whatever was on TV. “Is my face swelling?” 

You shrugged. “No more than other patients. But yeah, just a bit.” 

“Do I look stupid?” 

The question made you laugh. “Marcus, I’ve had so many ridiculous patients. You’re no worse than some of my other ones, I promise.” 

Marcus accepted this and continued to take small bites of his slushee. “Why’s it gotta be blue?” 

“Because blue isn’t even remotely close to red.” You didn’t even look up as you answered. “Same goes for when little kids get teeth pulled. You want something that’s soft, easy to swallow, and isn’t the color of blood.” 

“Oh.” 

You nodded. “Yeah. How’s your mouth feeling?” 

Marcus mulled it over, eventually deciding on saying “Kinda achy.” 

“I’ll give you those pills soon,” you said. “It’s gonna be tricky, considering any kind of anything touching those holes in your mouth is gonna hurt like a bitch.” 

“Even water?” 

“Even water.” 

Marcus groaned, and you shrugged. “Sorry. But you’re the one who waited until now to do this.” 

When Marcus finished his slushee, you grabbed a pill bottle off the kitchen counter, quickly glancing at the label and nodding. “Two of these,” you said, opening a cabinet and taking out a glass. “Come here.” 

Marcus trudged over, leaning heavily against the counter’s edge. You put the two round pills on the counter, along with the glass of water. “Best to do it quickly. And one at a time.”  

Picking up one of the pills, Marcus carefully put it on his tongue, taking the glass with a hesitant hand. He took a sip, swallowing quickly and audibly. “Can’t I use a straw?” 

“Yeah,” you said sarcastically. “If you want dry socket, go ahead.” 

“Do I want to know what that is?” 

“Nope.” You pushed the second pill towards Marcus. “Take that, then you can lay back down.” 

Marcus sighed, mirroring his previous action. However, instead of simply swallowing with a tight face, Marcus started, eyes filling with tears as he spit the water into the sink, the pill clattering against the metal. 

You immediately began to worry as Marcus cried. It wasn’t a small tear or two either. He was full on sobbing, gripping the edges of the sink so tight his knuckles went white. 

“Marcus,” you murmured, putting a hand on his arm. He looked up at you, and you put on your most comforting smile. “Hey, it’s okay.” You picked up a towel and slowly wiped the residual water off his face. “C’mere.” 

He collapsed into your arms, going limp and continuing to cry. You rubbed his back, heart tightening whenever he let out a whimper of “hurts.” 

“I know,” you said softly. “I know it hurts. But you have to take the pills.” 

“Can’t,” Marcus hiccuped, burying himself deeper into your sweater. 

“Marcus,” you said firmly, slowly untangling him from you. “I know it hurts. But you’ll be in more pain from not taking the pills. Please, for me?” 

He took a breath. “Can we watch TV afterwards?” 

You smiled. “Of course. I can give you ice for the swelling too.” 

Marcus nodded, looking into the sink. “Do I take that one?” 

“No,” you said, fishing a new pill out of the container. “It’s in the sink, I’m not gonna take that risk. Here.” 

Marcus stared at the unassuming white pill in his hand. “Which one is this?” 

“The acetaminophen.” 

“The what?” 

“Tylenol.” 

Marcus nodded, popping the pill into his mouth and quickly gulping down the water. This time, he avoided hitting his stitches and simply handed you the glass. “I’m not doing that again.” 

You took the glass, putting it in the sink. “You have more pills to take in an hour.” 

Marcus groaned. “TV?” 

“Of course,” you said, walking to the couch and smiling as Marcus fell onto it. “What do you wanna watch?” 

Marcus turned his red rimmed puppy dog eyes on you. “Say Yes to the Dress?” 

You laughed. “Are you serious? We can, but that’s not what I expected at all.” 

“I like trash TV when I feel terrible.” Marcus grabbed Mittens and cuddled the stuffed cat to his chest. 

You found the show, setting it up and standing. “More cotton. You're probably still bleeding, and we definitely don’t want that. Open.” 

It took some finessing to get two more wads of cotton into Marcus’s mouth, but you succeeded, despite his complaints of feeling like a cartoon chipmunk. 

 “I’m gonna go start on dinner,” you said.  “Are you gonna be okay here?” 

Marcus pouted. “Do you have to start now?” 

“Yeah.” You gestured to the kitchen. “Don’t worry, I’ll only be gone for twenty minutes. Soup just needs to sit for a while.” 

Slightly consoled, Marcus zoned out at the TV while you got to work making a simple chicken noodle soup. 

“Done,” you said, wiping your hands and walking back to the couch twenty minutes later. “Marcus, are you still awake?” 

Marcus grumbled, holding his hands out. “C’mere.” 

You passed him an ice pack, and he made a face. “Not what I want.” 

“What do you want?” 

As if somehow knowing they were your kryptonite, Marcus gave you his puppy dog eyes. “Wanna hold you.” 

You sighed, but crawled into his arms anyway. When you finally settled, he was on his back, head and neck propped up on the arm of the couch, and you were on your side between the back of the couch and Marcus. He was warm, wrapping one arm loosely over your waist and using the other hand to press the ice into his cheek. 

You quickly slid into a nice comfortable headspace, occasionally smiling when Marcus commented on the wedding dresses on screen. 

“You dropped Mittens,” you realized after a while, shuffling to grab the discarded toy from the floor. 

Marcus took Mittens, gently placing the cat on his chest, so that it was secure on his sternum. 

“Does Mittens belong to Missy?” 

“Belonged to Clara.” 

“Oh.” You saw the change in demeanor, noticed how Marcus’s face steeled when he said her name. He rarely talked about Clara, especially at work. “I’m-“ 

“Nah,” Marcus said, shaking his head. “It’s the past. I’m happy now, and so is Mittens.” 

You nestled deeper into his chest. “Happy right now?” 

“Definitely happy right now,” Marcus said softly. “Very happy, even though I can’t feel my face.” 

“Even if you could,” you mumbled, knowing where this was headed. “You can’t kiss anyone for a while.” 

Marcus grinned. “I guess we’ll just have to wait then, won’t we?” 

You mirrored his mischievous smile. “You can’t kiss,” you said, scooting upwards, until you were laying on top of Marcus, your belly on his ribs. “But I can.” 

You lay gentle kisses across his cheeks, smiling when he laughed at your insistence upon kissing his nose. His cheeks were cold from the ice and tender from the swelling, but Marcus never tried to stop you, so you continued downwards, kissing the pulse points on his neck. 

“You’re a damn tease,”  Marcus huffed. 

You simply smiled into his skin and tugged the collar of his shirt down, pressing firm kisses into the points of his collarbones.

“Hey,” Marcus nudged your head. “Can we finish this when I don’t have a mouth of stitches? I still can’t feel my tongue.” 

“Of course,” you said, pushing his shirt collar back up and laying your head on his sternum. “How long?” 

“Hm?” 

You shrugged, watching a woman try on a stunning wedding dress on the TV. “How long have you wanted to kiss me?” 

Marcus thought it over. “Last year,” he finally decided. “When Missy had three teeth out. You were so kind, and I just melted.” 

“But you didn’t fall in love hard enough to ever pay me a visit,” you teased, tracing the faded symbol on his shirt. 

“Didn’t ever want to go under and realize I’d spilled everything,” Marcus confessed. 

You smiled. “Too late. You said I looked like an Angel in the hallway.” 

Marcus turned bright red, and you laughed at him. “It’s okay,” you promised, kissing his cheek that didn’t have the ice pack. “I think you’re pretty handsome yourself.” 

That night, after dinner and more pills and ice cream for dessert, you and Marcus settled down in the only bedroom, clinging to each other as if your lives depended on it. 

Waking up was hard. Marcus was well enough to go home, most of the swelling gone and the numbness completely faded. 

“So,” you clicked down the halls of the dentist’s office, Marcus behind you. “No really hot liquids for another few days, and try not to do solids until then either. That antibacterial mouthwash should be used twice a day, and you can start brushing your teeth again in two days. Remember, no straws, take your pills, keep icing your cheeks, and if I see you in this office before this time next week, I will be calling your mother.” 

Marcus nodded as you pulled open the lobby door, where Anita and Missy were waiting. “Anything else Doctor?” 

You shook your head. “You should be all clear Mr. Moreno. I’ll be seeing you for your check-up next week. Don’t you go skipping out on me now.” 

Marcus smiled. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he promised, leaning a bit closer to you. “And I cannot wait to kiss you for real.” 

He pulled away, leaving you flushed and dizzy. “See you next week Doctor.” 

“See you next week Mr. Moreno.”

If you liked this, I do dialogue prompt requests as well! Go request something if you want!

[qvid-pro-qvo]

uhm can we get a hotch x reader with prompts 1 and 5 from the dialogue prompts list? whatever you want, gender neutral🥺 ily and your writings, if you're not ok with this request it's ok :)

aaron hotchner x gender neutral reader.

word count: 2019

rating: teen, for someone you love meaning more than anything else in the world, in moments just like these (tw: hospital scenes, car crashes, canon-typical violence. hurt/comfort). 

-

Aaron finds himself pushing through glass double doors, rushing to the desk of the emergency room. It’s his nightmare come to life, his job as unit chief colliding with personal circumstances. It’s a horror and a nightmare, and when he makes it to the nurse who’s working, he speeds through his credentials to get him through the door.

But they don’t get him through the door. Nothing gets him through the door, and when JJ and Dave come in behind him, it’s to see his face crumple.

He should’ve been there, he should’ve seen it coming. The stop sign the two of you blew, chasing a suspect, the collision with a car who didn’t hear the sirens. He should’ve known, should’ve come sooner so he could be there for the both of you. But instead, what he got was a firm no from the nurse.

“You’re not next of kin. Until I get clearance, I can’t let anyone back there who is not directly related.”

Never mind that the team is your family. Never mind that you’ve been in Aaron’s life for what should be lifetimes. Never mind that the last time he saw you, it was to kiss your cheek, tell you goodbye, only for the chase to start…

“Those are two of my agents back there,” he bites out, and the words are a little strangled, even as he tries to keep his composure. “Those are two – two of my agents, and I need to see them. Please.”

A lesser person would be terrified by the fire in Aaron’s eyes. But the nurse does not back down. The sympathy in her gaze is clear, but she simply lifts her chin, meets those eyes with ease. “I’m sorry, sir. Someone will be out to discuss the situation shortly, and talk about procedure. Until then, if or when I get the word that visitors can come in, I’ll let you know.”

Emily and Reid come through a few minutes later, and Aaron looks up to watch them push to the same front desk. Their shoulders drop, just like his did, and when they turn it’s to see Dave and JJ beside their unit chief, the three of them… waiting.

“Anything?” Emily asks, and Aaron shakes his head, dropping his chin, elbows on his knees. All of the possible outcomes are filtering through his mind, from worst-case to best, and then back down to worst. Best, unscathed. Unharmed. Worst, unspeakable. Unnamed. Because he knows the truth can only fall somewhere in the middle, he forces the extremes through his head, if only to have something to occupy his thoughts.

“You’re driving yourself crazy, Aaron,” Dave whispers to him, when the others move to get food. It’s been two hours since the crash, two hours without a peep of news. “You have to focus on the positive. The first responders got there, to the both of them. They’re here, and they’re getting treated by capable hands.”

“Two hours, Dave,” Aaron returns, not meeting his friend’s eyes, blinking up at the sight of another set of double doors barring the path to you and Morgan. “We both know that it’s not that simple.”

Soon, the team returns, and the waiting seems to start all over again. Pacing takes up the time between no news and any information they can gather, listening, watching, and needling for anything about their loved ones. And each time those double doors swing open, a beep signaling the passage of someone who could give them answers, another name is called, another family pulled in to discuss the future of those they care about.

Aaron and his team have to wait.

Make calls to Jack and Jess.

And wait.

Calls to the precinct, to the sheriff, to the Bureau, to Strauss.

And wait.

It hits five hours when their messenger comes through. A world-weary physician, who blinks down at the chart and calls out your last name. Aaron stands, suddenly, and the movement makes him dizzy, but he ignores his body just to stride forward with the rest of his team, who gather around the doctor with the same pleading eyes, begging for good news.

“For Morgan, too?” he asks, and Aaron sees Dave nod beside him, sees JJ’s hands clasp together in front of her. “All right. My name is Dr. Roberts, I’ve been in to see both of them. We ran some cursory tests – CT scans, a couple of x-rays, and a full physical exam.”

“And what’d you find?” Emily pushes, and Aaron glances to her to see her thumb held up to her mouth, biting at her nails lightly.

“Well, they got lucky. The hit came to the back half of the SUV, which means that Morgan sustained minimal injuries and abrasions. A concussion, due to the impact, but that’s to be expected.”

There’s a sigh of relief from the team, but the waiting isn’t done yet. Need another cursory glance over the chart, the man before the team hums, and Aaron finds his patience wearing thin. “Doctor,” he urges, and when their eyes meet the battle of wills commences again. “The… the other agent. Please.”

This time Aaron wins out.

“Broken leg,” Dr. Roberts responds, sighing. “Sedation has been helping with the pain, but it’s fractured enough that we’ll need to put in some pins. As soon as the on-call trauma surgeon gets here, we’ll be in the operating room.”

“Can we see them?” Reid asks. “Both of them?” His voice is hopeful, and Aaron can’t help the way his hand lifts to rest on the younger agent’s shoulder when the doctor says yes. He can feel the tension leave him at the affirmation that they’ll be able to finally get back there, find you and Morgan, take care of you.

Together the BAU gathers their things to make their way through. When they make it to the door, ready to get led back, Dr. Roberts holds up a hand to stop them.

“A couple at a time. We’ll be going into surgery in around 45 minutes to an hour,” the doctor informs you. He looks at the group expectantly, numbered five. “Can’t have all of you in a room at once. Let’s say half in each room at a time.”

The team looks around at each other. In that moment, being the unit chief doesn’t matter nearly as much as being a part of the BAU, being folded into the tight-knit group, the unbreakable family ties. Aaron thinks about you, alone, and finds his jaw clenching.

“We’ll switch off,” he tells the group. “And when they take… when the surgery starts… we’ll take turns with Morgan until he gets discharged.”

Dave’s hand comes to rest on his shoulder. The tension leaks from him, and he sighs.  

“We’re still on a case. Those of us who aren’t waiting once the surgery starts need to keep on it.”

“Hotch –” Emily tries to argue, but with a firm look she nods.

“We can’t drop the ball on this. Morgan’ll tell us as much when we get in there,” JJ agrees, and Aaron looks to her with a tight smile.

“Dave, Emily, and JJ will go to Morgan.” That’s his final call. Their eyes fall on him, and he looks to Reid, who nods at the implication. “I need to make a call to Strauss, and then I’ll be in there to join you.”

-

When Aaron settles into the space next to your bed, he reaches for your hand immediately. Grimaces at how cold it feels, and finds himself holding it in both of his palms, just rubbing to bring blood, life, feeling back into it. Your eyes stay stubbornly closed, and though he knows the surgery went successfully, there’s a stillness that leaves him feeling… unnerved. You’re not meant to be still. You’re meant to be tapping your fingers against the sheets, pushing your hand through your hair, leaning close to him.

All he can see now is the rise and fall of your chest. The stiffness of your left leg, wrapped up and casted.

He squeezes your fingers again.

He doesn’t know what urges him to start speaking. But he does. Starts talking, and can’t find himself stopping. Reid isn’t there, the rest of the team is with Morgan settling your discharge information as well as his own. It’s just you and Aaron, and he sighs with his thumb pressed between the furrow of his brows.

He kisses your knuckles, and murmurs against them. It’s in time with the rhythm of your heartbeat, some sentences. Like your breathing is the bassline to his life. Maybe it is. And if it isn’t, maybe it should be.

“All this tells me is that I should marry you,” he says. “Not letting me in on a – on a technicality.” You don’t answer, you’re still asleep, but he can see you chuckle with it. “And you see, this is the part where you tell me you’re proud of me. I didn’t lash out at the nurse, or Dave, I just. Waited. Trusted in you to be there for me.”

The beeping continues. Steady. Strong.

“Morgan is okay. Don’t worry. Just a couple of cuts, some bruises. A concussion.”

He shakes his head. “He blames himself. He was driving after all. But I told him, I had to tell him, that it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t believe me, or anyone else, but. We’ll work on it. And once you’re awake, you can tell him, too.”

Your eyes blink open, but Aaron doesn’t notice at first. His eyes are still focused on your fingertips.

“It scares me, knowing that this is our life. That this will always be our life. But I wouldn’t trade it, for anything.”

“Neither would I,” you hum out.

When he glances up to see you awake, it’s with a smile on your face.

“Hey, handsome,” you murmur. Your voice is weak, but light, gentle, and he can’t help but shake his head with a chuckle. “Wasn’t expecting you when I woke up, too.”

“What do you mean?”

But you’re already drifting again, your thoughts running through your head and coming to the surface without much push. It’s the anesthesia, of course. You start shaking your head when you realize that one of your legs is stationary. Unmoving. “What happened?”

“Car accident. Your leg broke,” he tells you, and your frown is deep, lines around it emphasizing your displeasure.

“Well. I guess I’m on… bedrest, then. That’s… shitty.”

He laughs, despite himself, despite how much it aches to know that this happened at all, because of you. He smiles, and kisses your knuckles again, and leans close to kiss your forehead, because of all that he feels for you.

“Yes, my love. I would say so.”

“If I fell asleep again… would you be shirtless again?”

He blinks, shaking his head. Your filter is truly gone as you continue to rouse, and he smirks as you hum and do your best to move.

“Shirtless?” he dares to ask, and you nod.

“In my dream.” There’s a pleasant smile on your face, like you’re remembering something good. Something great. He laughs again. “We were in the office, and everyone forgot their shirts, and… and I asked you… ‘what – what are you doing with your shirt off?’”

Aaron can’t help his snort, shaking his head and bringing your hand up to his lips. You’re starting to doze off again, and so he pushes a little more, to let you go over the edge into dreamworld again.

“And?”

“And you told me that it was to impress me… and… convince me to stay in the BAU.”

Your words are starting to slur again, and he lets your hand rest against your body, still holding it, loose in his grip.

“Did it work?”

You hum, and your eyes flutter closed. “Honey… I’m not goin’ anywhere.” Your breathing starts to even out again, but that smile remains, and he leans forward to press a kiss to your forehead.

“Rest well, my love. I’ll be here.”

“Shirt on?”

“Unfortunately. Now, rest.”  

[boredandelusive]

05.

♞ TW: Amm-nia, death, this chapter has a case in it not from an episode, but from a generator. It may sound stupid, but it’s effective, isn’t it? Also, there’s a bit of a wet dream, yet Spencer’s awake, so there’s that.

♞

As Kiara woke up from her sleep, she witnessed Spencer frantically rushing around as if looking for something. "Something wrong, baby?" She asked groggily, which made him stop and look at him.

"I can't find my shirt and there's another case," it wouldn't be the best idea for him to go back to work in the same clothes he wore yesterday, however, he didn't have much of a choice. He couldn't risk being late for his job, especially because he was the star agent of the team.

"Then just take some of my smaller clothes from my closet." She admitted groggily, which looked over to her closet with an unsure look. "Spencer, I was skinny once, I still have those clothes, and they should fit you. Just take the clothes and go."

"But I don't have my boxers," that was the other thing he looked for, which she turned over in her bed. Considering she now lied on her stomach, her words would've been muffled.

"That dresser, second drawer on the left." Listening to her words, he moved to get the clothes and noticed all of the clothes almost perfectly fit him. "Before you ask, I keep my old clothes in case I date skinnier people."

"Thanks, I owe you!" He rushed out of her room, and soon, out of the house. Once they had enough time, they could go over last night. Now, however, they had things to do.

♞

As Spencer got to work, which he hoped his colleagues wouldn't notice his clothing, he passed Garcia, who still noticed something off. "Rough night?" She called out, which Spencer stopped in his tracks.

"Something like that. Where are the others?" If Penelope noticed something different, no doubt the others would, too.

"In the conference room. You're not late, but you might want to hurry up." With that, he rushed toward the conference room and sat down. "Did you get any sleep?" Derek was the first to ask, but Spencer didn't understand why.

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"Because your hair's a mess," at least that sent a wave of relief in his body, which meant they didn't question the woman's clothes on his body. Running his fingers through his hair, he fixed it. Seeing as no one said anything about his clothes, there was a bit of silence before Penelope walked in.

"In Fort Wayne, Indiana, three victims were found scattered in the forest," as she spoke, she clicked the buttons on the remote in her hands. "Each of them had traces of ammonia in their lungs," her voice dropped to barely a whisper. She wasn't the type to enjoy cases, she just liked being in her bat cave.

"It says here that all of the victims died just after sunrise. Maybe it's the unsub's motive," Spencer pointed out before Hotch stood up.

"Regardless, Fort Wayne requested our help. Wheels up in thirty (30)." As everyone else got up and collected the file, there was some sort of tense silence in the room. Trying his best to ignore it, Reid glanced up to see the others glancing at him.

"Is something wrong?"

"You're wearing a blouse," Emily pointed out, which meant his hope went bad.

"Did you have a fun night?" Derek teased and considering his messy hair, all of them assumed he finally got some. "Come on, kid, what was their name?" As he got everything together, hr walked out of the room.

"Kiara," Emily looked at Derek with an open mouth, as if shocked he would admit it.

♞

As the plane was in the air, Spencer kept his head in the case, and knowing Derek, he would've either pestered him about it now or ask about it later. "How many victims are there so far?"

"Five (5) of them. The first two were found three months ago in an abandoned cabin. The police only got word of it from an anonymous tip." Garcia admitted from the video call in her office.

"Alright, when we land, JJ, Prentiss, go to the ME's office, see if there's anything else on the victims the files might've missed. Morgan, Reid, set up at the police station. Rossi, you and I will go to the crime scene."

♞

Once the two were in the car and driving to the station, Derek decided to break the silence. "So, Kiara, huh? Wait, lemme guess: you didn't bring an extra pair of clothes so you had to use hers?"

"Was it that obvious?" He asked, yet he didn't look his friend in the eyes. It wasn't out of embarrassment, but probably out of how much Morgan would taunt him about it. He didn't say anything at first, but he peeled back his collar. "Hey!"

"You need to learn to hide that better, Reid. And fix your hair before we get inside, it still looks like a mess," he teased and messed up his hair intentionally.

"Okay, okay! Leave my hair alone. I was rushed out the door by the case, and I didn't want to be late." He excused, yet Derek wouldn't drop the conversation just yet.

"I guess we have to let the kid out of the coop someday. Fly away little Reid, I'm proud of you," he teased again. This was going to be a long case, and he didn't know if the rest of the team would give him shit about how he lost his virginity.

"You know, I could just be trying something new," Spencer tried excusing his appearance, but he blushed while he did so.

"You definitely tried something new, alright. Even if it weren't for the hickey," Derek tapped his chest with enough force that the scars from her scratches hurt. "That told me enough. Now come on, we gotta get the office set up."

♞

As JJ and Emily made it to the ME's office, Em pushed the door open for both of them to walk inside. "So what do we have?" The blonde woman asked first, which the coroner looked at them both before pulling down the cover.

Because of it, there was irritation around the victim's mouth and nose, most likely from being forced to breathe the gas. "You would think the irritated skin would be the most concerning part, but this was," the coroner then pulled the cover down farther to reveal a series of stab wounds.

"I don't get it, why would the unsub force the victims to breathe the ammonia then stab them?" Getting that piece of information was confusing enough, but it also meant the unsub was disorganized or greedy.

"I don't understand it either, but I can tell you that they're smart. All of the stab wounds were inches from the major arteries." The coroner wasn't the profiler, but there was something about the case that proved there might have been more to this than what meets the eye.

"So they're torturing the victims before killing them?"

"And restraining them, too," the coroner also pulled the blanket away from their wrists and ankles to show the bruising. "The tox screens came back and the only thing pumping through their body was anesthesia. However, the color of her lungs indicates she was gassed repeatedly."

"Okay, thank you." Both women turned to the door as if realizing something. When they got to the hallway, Emily stopped for a moment. Though JJ was a media liaison, it didn't stop the fact she could help on the missions by being a second set of eyes. "What is it?"

"If the unsub has them sit up, and they pump gas into their lungs, but they also stab them..." she trailed off, as if trying to get some sort of idea. For now, she couldn't think of anything because she hadn't been to the crime scene yet. "Let's get back to the station."

♞

As the two women met up with the others, Emily's brain started putting the pieces together, but still needed Reid's nerd expertise with this. "Hey, Reid?" She called out to the boy, though he didn't respond immediately.

His head was buried into the file, yet his mind was elsewhere.

"Be a good boy for me, won't you?" Kiara's voice rang out in his head, and the scene was set. Spencer was on the bed with his dick in a chastity cage while his Mistress hovered over him. His eyes trailed down to her waist, which a nine (9) inch tentacle dildo hung with lube almost dripping off.

"Yes, Mistress," he whined, and considering she wouldn't stroke his dick to help him feel better, he just rolled his hips. He wanted her, but she wouldn't let her baby have her.

"So eager, already? I wonder how your tight little ass would feel around my new strap. Now stay still or I'll leave you here with the belt on," almost immediately, he stopped moving, despite what his brain told him to do.

As she climbed on top of him, she lifted his legs and slid the dild-

"Reid?" Hearing the voice made him look up from the file, which proved his mind was somewhere else. "Do you have any nerdy facts about the case?" Emily needed to know the full parameters, and judging by the growing blush on his face, he thought about something not safe for work.

"Eighty percent (80%) of ammonia is used for either fertilizer in the agricultural community or used as a refrigerant gas. Ammonia gas itself is lighter than air, so it rises, yet when mixed with moisture, turns into a vapor. The vapor turns so heavy that it keeps to the ground, but the unsub's found a way to transport the ammonia gas without it turning into something harmful to the unsub themself." He rambled on, but it also indicated the level of skill the unsub had.

"So we might be dealing with a chemist?" Morgan asked, which Emily pulled out her phone and dialed Garcia.

"What's cookin', good lookin'?" She asked into the call, not aware that she was on speaker phone.

"Garcia, you're on speaker. I need you to make a list of all of the chemists within Fort Wayne, Indiana," she placed her phone onto the table, which meant anyone could ask the tech wizard to narrow the search.

"There's over six hundred (600) names. Do you have anything to narrow it down?" Hoping there was more to the search than just the job alone, she looked to another screen as she waited for an answer.

"Look for anyone who might have a history of violence. It might be something as little as peeping to murder." Derek said something next, which caused Penelope to type it into the filter. Though it was a great thing, there were still a lot of names on the list.

"That leaves me with sixty names, sugar. It's majorly concerning how many of them could pick up jobs. Some of them have misdemeanors, others have assault, someone has aggravated battery." Penelope listed off some of the crimes that popped up on the screen.

"That's all for now. Thanks, Garcia," Emily picked up her phone.

"You're welcome, my Mistress," she ended the call before Em had a chance to say something back, so she shook her head. As they turned to the door, an officer rushed in.

"There's been another body," hearing those words, all of them rushed out the door. Considering they only got here a few hours ago, it meant this death was fresh. Taking two cars, one that had Morgan, Reid, and Prentiss while the other had Hotch and Rossi, JJ stayed behind in case she had to deal with the media.

♞

As Kiara worked, her mind wandered to last night. What she wouldn't give to hear him beg for mercy like that again. However, she couldn't keep her mind on it, considering her phone rang. The noise and feeling of the sudden buzz almost made her jump, but she contained herself enough.

Looking at the caller ID, it was Spencer, which made her confused but she answered it anyway. "What is it?"

"How do you undo a downward prayer? Each shibari design has a failsafe wrapped in," this must've been important, which also meant this wasn't time for jokes. Closing her eyes for a moment, she thought to herself.

"On the back, there's over three (3) dozen ties to create the design. The one you're looking for might be tucked in behind one of the strings. If he's an amateur, it'll be tucked between the hands of the person in the rope. If not, then it'll be wrapped around their neck."

"Are you sure?"

"There's only two ways to create a downward prayer and there's always a failsafe. Always." There was a bit of silence before someone picked up the phone again. "Did you save them?"

"Yeah, I did. Thank you." He ended the call, most likely trying to keep his voice to a professional level.

♞

The place I got the ammonia knowledge was from here. 

[evanstanwrites]

Hot dentist - Steve Rogers AU

Sum: What did I bring myself into? Flirting with my dentist, none the less hot dentist, and then let him drive me home? Wasn’t this doomed to fail?

pairing: Dentist Steve Rogers x reader

warnings: my bad writing xD, +18 only, SMUT, public sex, unprotected sex, sexual acts while driving

I was so nervous as I stood in front of the dentist’s office in my local hospital. Today was the day I’d get my wisdom tooth removed, I had been in so much pain that I couldn’t delay it any longer. A few weeks ago I had noticed that there was a piece that had broken off my tooth and it had been the cause of a lot of pain, seeing as the nerves in the tooth got uncovered. So I found the little bit of courage I had left and made an appointment with my local dentist, an old but friendly man who was only a few weeks from retirement. 

He had taken one look at my broken tooth and knew that it wasn’t a job he could handle. It turned out to be a wisdom tooth that I didn’t even know I had. It was the surprise of my life and when he said that I had to go to the hospital’s dentist to have it removed under anesthesia I panicked completely. I was already scared shitless of a regular dentist and needles now they were gonna stick needles into my mouth? What more do you need to shit your pants out of fear. But I got my shit together because I didn’t want to live with this kind of pain forever so I made the appointment with doctor S.Rogers at my local hospital.

“Hey, I’m Y/n and I have an appointment with doctor Rogers,” I say once I got my shit together and got to the front desk of doctor Rogers’s office.

“Welcome, Y/n, please fill in this form while you wait. You can hand the filled in form to the doctor” The lady behind the desk says as she starts to hand me all different kinds of papers and documents.

“The waiting area for doctor Rogers is at the end of the hallway, you can take a seat there.” she smiles and points in the direction of the waiting area. 

After a short thank you and a nervous smile I follow the given directions through the long hallway filled with other waiting patients at all different doctors’ offices but none of them are the one I need to be at. After what seems like a long walk I finally reach the waiting area I need to be at seeing a large nameplate on one of the doors stating the doctor’s name.  

I take my place on one of the chairs and start to fill in the form I was given by the lady at the front desk. Just as I was done the door of the office opens and a tall blond model like man with one of the brightest smiles stands in the door opening.

God this man was drop dead gorgeous, who was he? Was he the nurse, Maybe doctors Rogers’s assistant, or what if this was doctor Rogers? Omg kill me now, I’m not going to survive this if that species of a man is gonna do the procedure.

What if I say something stupid during the anesthesia?

“Miss Y/l/n?”

God even the sound of his voice is to melt for. I quickly get a hold of myself and stand up.

“That’s me.” I smile at the man.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Doctor Rogers. please come in,” he says as he steps out of the way and signs for me to walk in first.

Oh god, he is the doctor, I’ll have to do my best to act normal. I think to myself as I walk into the office and sit on one of the chairs before handing over the filled in forms as he walks past me to his seat.

“So I got all the information from your dentist, seems like you need to have your wisdom tooth removed.” He explains as he sits down behind his desk, looks over the papers before smiling at me.

“I do see here that you requested the use of the anesthetic gas but I fear that it’s not possible today due to some technical problems.”  

“Oh, so what’s going to happen then?” I ask suddenly not that concerned about the fact that I didn’t know how to act around a drop dead gorgeous doctor but more scared about the procedure itself.

“Well seeing as you’re the last patient of the day our only option for the procedure is a local anesthetic. But I promise you, you have nothing to worry about. I know it sounds more terrifying than it actually is. I promise you I won’t hurt you, it’ll be a bit uncomfortable but it won’t hurt.” he reassures me which to I can only nod shortly, still nervous. 

“You’ll be alright, miss, you’re in good hands” 

One of his warm hands covered mine that laid on top of the desk as he says it with a smile. 

Wow, this man is really all smiles but knows how to put someone at ease. I think as I smile back at him. 

“Okay, Thank you, doctor Rogers”

“You’re welcome and please call me Steve. What ya say we get started and get it over with?” 

Steve’s not even finished speaking when he stands up from his chair and holds a hand out to help me to my feet and leads me to the room next to the office where the procedure would take place. 

And before I know it I’m in the chair leaning back, watching Steve move around the room as he washes his hands before gloving up. 

In the end, he was right, I barely felt it when he injected the local anesthetic into my gums. In comparison to any dentist I had ever met Steve was very soft in his handling and very talkative, it seems like he forgot that he was working in my mouth and that I couldn’t talk back. Which lead to a couple of funny moments but it did put my mind at ease, I wasn’t scared at all anymore and it started to feel more like Steve and I knew each other for a long time. He even flirted with me a few times, at least I think he did.

Every time he’d had to do something that would cause me even the slightest bit of discomfort he warned me and checked if all was alright after. 

Overall the procedure only took around half an hour and soon enough Steve was putting his work in finishing with stitching up the wound.

“Here you go sweetheart, we’re all done,” he says leaning back on his chair before cleaning up the little worktable so I could sit up. 

“You got someone to take you home? Because it’s not wise to drive while the anesthetic is still working,” 

Shit, I didn’t think about that. He’s right I can’t drive like this.

“No, I don’t but I’ll call for a cab to drive me home,” I say which comes out a bit more like a mumble due to my still numb mouth as I stand up from the chair, ready to collect my stuff so I can leave even if I don’t really want to. I wanted to be in his presence for as long as I could, that was the kind of effect he had on me.

“No need to call a cab, I can drive you home seeing as I’m off in a few minutes.” he smiles as we walk back into his office “Only if you want that is?” he quickly adds.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to impose after all I’m just your patient,” I say a bit unsure, I want to say yes but was it wise to, it isn’t professional at least.

“Well as soon as we walk out of this office you’re not my patient anymore and we can do what we choose to do,” he chuckles as he sits back down behind his office ready to finish up his paperwork for the day.

“Okay, you can drive me home if you really want to,” I respond trying not to smile that big so I wouldn’t drool too much caused by the numb lips. Steve seemed to notice and chuckled a bit louder. 

“Don’t worry sweetheart, the anesthetic will wear off. The numb feeling should be over in about half an hour,” he says before pointing at his computer.

“Give me 5 minutes and I’ll meet you downstairs in front of the main entrance. I quickly need to fill in this form and then chance and I’ll be down to pick you up.”

What did I bring myself into? Flirting with my dentist, none the less hot dentist, and then let him drive me home? Wasn’t this doomed to fail? But then again I was already in too deep to stop now, there was no option to go back now. There was no harm in having a bit of fun right? Who knows what I get out of it: a friend, a one night stand, or maybe a boyfriend? Who knows? Was this really so bad? No not at all, there was nothing wrong with this. 

That’s how I found myself in the passenger seat of Steve’s car flirting with him, a lot. The atmosphere turned hot and sexual very quickly just as our conversation and it seemed like it affected both of us. Steve obviously had a ‘little not so little’ problem in his pants and he didn’t even try to hide it. Even his hand has found its place on top of my thigh, slowly rubbing small circles onto my warm skin making me squeeze my thighs together to get some relief. The smirk on his lips showed me that he knew that it affected me too, I bet he could almost smell how wet I was.

“Really I can’t say thank you enough for driving me home. I don’t know how I can ever repay you Steve,” I say with a small smile.

“I could think of something,” Steve smirked seductively

“Oh, what are you thinking about then?” I ask faking innocence, I had a good guess what it would be and I was totally down for it but I wanted to see how he would respond.

But Steve didn’t say anything, he just softly took my hand, gave it a soft reassuring squeeze and placed my hand on top of the bulge in his pants.

I sucked in a deep breath of surprise, he felt huge for what I could feel through his pants.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to sweetheart” he quickly says taking my action as a rejection.

“No, It’s okay, I want to. I just wasn’t prepared to feel,... you feel so big Steve” I giggle which makes him chuckle in response.

“Well that’s because I am big sweetheart” he winks just as I start to unzip and unbutton his pants.

“Can I?” 

“Yes, go for it” 

More he doesn’t has to say before I slip my hand through his now open pants and wrap my hand around his rock hard cock. His skin felt warm and soft in my hand, god he is really big. 

I tried to feel as much as I could, discovering every inch, every vein, every unique part of his cock.

“you’re teasing sweetheart,” Steve says softly as he holds back a moan.

“But I like teasing,” I pout which makes him laugh

“You little minx,”

I finally decide to stop teasing and now wramp my hand firmly around his now leaking hard cock and slowly start stroking it.

“Yeah that’s it sweetheart, just like that” Steve moans as he tries his best to keep his focus on the road but that proved to be a hard task. 

I loved the feeling of his cock in my hand and started to imagine how he would feel if it wasn’t my hand wrapped around his cock but my pussy. I bet it would feel great, hit all the right spots and make me fall over the edge quickly. Damn, I almost came just by thinking of it.

“Oooh fuck it” I hear Steve bread hard as he suddenly makes a sharp turn into what seemed an empty backroad surrounded by trees.

“Euh Steve, this isn’t the way to my place,” I say surprised as I pull my hand out of his pants and look around me. There was nobody or nothing but trees to be seen. 

“I know but I can’t keep my focus on the road anymore, and I need a turn too sweetheart” he smirked as he parks his.

Before I even know it he gets out of the car, and I follow his lead, meeting him at the hood of his car. It doesn’t take long before he’s all over me, kissing me along the curve of my throat, his hands moving all over my body like he’s making a road map to some treasure.

“You’re driving me crazy sweetheart” he pants 

“Maybe you should do something about it” I smirk as I hop onto the hood of his car 

“I so want to kiss you right now but I fear that will have to wait. But can I fuck you instead?” he asks as he steps into the open space between my legs while his hands move up my legs.

“I thought you’d never ask,” I chuckle as I lift my skirt a bit as an invitation for him to slide his hands under, which he eagerly does and starts to rub over the soaked crotch of my panties making me move my hips up to his hand and moan at the touch. It really had been a long time since the last time someone even touched me down there, I felt like I was a virgin again.

“Please, Steve, just fuck me already” I moan 

“Look who’s impatient now,” he says as he shoves his still unzipped pants a bit lower so he could free cock, giving it a few strokes before moving the crotch of my panties to the side and slowly rubs the tip of his cock between my folds coating himself in my fluids.

I don’t care that we’re in public, I don’t care that someone could hear or see us, in this moment there was only Steve and me and how good he made me feel. I was already flying high on pleasure and he wasn’t even inside me yet. So the moment he actually started to push his cock inside me I couldn’t stop myself and moaned loudly at the feeling, feeling every inch of him as he filled me. 

“Fuck you’re so tight sweetheart” he moans, seemingly just as much lost in pleasure as I am.

Once he was fully inside of me he didn’t give me much time to adjust to his huge cock and just started to pull back out slowly and thrust back in with a hard and fast snap of his hips making me almost scream out in pleasure. I can only hold on for the ride he takes me on as he set a strong and fast pace. Proving my imagination from earlier in that to be true, his cock does hit all the right spots every time he slams back in. 

One of his strong hands grips onto my hip keeping me in place while with the thumb of his other hand he rubs my clit edging me closer and closer to an orgasm.

“Steve,...., so close,..., please,” I didn’t even know what I was begging for but Steve seemed to understand as he started to speed up the movements of his thumb on my clit.

“It’s alright sweetheart, I got you. Cum for me, I’m right behind you.” he moans out of breath. It seems like that was all it took before he guided me over the edge and I came harder than I’ve ever done before with a loud scream. It didn’t take long before Steve followed me and spilled his seed deep inside me.

“I should have made that appointment much sooner with you doctor Steve.”

please remember to like, comment and reblog :-) 

@feelmyroarrrr​ @rynabarnesrogers-reading​ @denisemarieangelina​ @patzammit​ @palaiasaurus64​ @loricameback​ @lizette50​ @jennmurawski13​

[hotchley]

powerless to do, powerless to save

Well... it's here I guess? The first work in the someone to stay au! Umm... yeah. If you're wondering what the hell I'm on about, click here for the post giving a very brief explanation.

I'm writing it in a non-chronological order, so if there are any future works, and you see that it's in a completely different place in canon, that's why. And yes, we are starting with Nameless, Faceless. It's the only season 5 episode (aside from a half-formed plan for 100, that I actually had.) At the point in this fic, Ella has been with the BAU for roughly two years, and the team have known the truth about her and Hotch's previous dynamic for roughly one

I'm not fully happy with this, but we're going with it anyways because it was a lot of fun to write. I also didn't proofread it because... when do I ever proofread fics? Also, everyone say thank you to @eldrai for listening to me discuss this yesterday, because without them, it wouldn't have been finished so <3

Trigger Warnings: hospitals, blood, ptsd, trauma, trauma response, medical complications, guilt, self blame, food, implied unhealthy eating habits, self-destructive behaviours

read on ao3! | the someone to stay masterlist

She'd had a suspicion that something was wrong. They all had, from the moment Hotch was not the first person at the scene. JJ's suggestion had been pathetic, but they had to accept it. If Hotch had been there, he would've told them that their focus needed to be the case.

As she paces the hallway in a hospital nowhere near him, it occurs to her that maybe the whole point was that Hotch hadn't been there to tell them that. That they were meant to find him. Before... She can't even think about it. Her priority has to be Spencer. She'll go, once he's out of surgery, but he'll need his blanket and crackers when he comes out.

Ella isn't sure when she started to think of herself as Reid's older sister, but it's not scary like it used to be. Maybe because everything is finally out in the open and he still loves her.

"Agent Birch? The anesthesia will be wearing off soon, you can come through," the doctor tells her.

She smiles slightly, before gathering her things and walking into his room. His eyes flutter open a few minutes later, and he winces against the light.

"How do you feel?" She asks.

"Like I got shot in the leg," he quips, but she can only manage a small smile.

"I brought your blanket and crackers. I didn't bring any books, because I thought I would come back later, so you can send me with a list-"

"What happened to Hotch?" Reid asks.

Ella swallows, then puts the blanket over him. He relaxes slightly, but continues to watch her stall. She's always liked that about him. He doesn't push her.

"Foyet broke into his apartment and stabbed him nine times before driving him to a hospital. He left a photo of Haley and Jack but took a page from his address book. From the Bs." She speaks as though Hotch is just another victim who she has to get justice for (in some ways, he is.)

Reid looks confused. Ella's throat starts to close. She's not sure she can say it. Not after everything that woman has done for her.

"Haley's maiden name is Brooks. It's how Aaron saves her information." She'd known that, even before Morgan had called with the update.

"You need to go to him," Spencer says.

"The rest of the team is there. I'm needed here-"

"You're needed there. I'll be okay. I'm not exactly going anywhere."

"Are you sure?" If she's being honest, she's just been waiting for Spencer's permission to leave.

Spencer nods and she kisses his forehead, careful to make sure she doesn't touch his elbow as she leans over. It's the little things.

The cab gets her there faster than she expected. She won't complain though. After flashing her credentials, the receptionist lets her through and before she knows what she's done, she's in his room.

She never was good at controlling her impulses.

Ella has seen many terrible things in her life. But nothing breaks her quite like seeing Aaron defeated. She's seen him numb, and sad and empty but never defeated. It feels like realising that your parents were not infallible. Bile rises in the back of her throat, and a sound escapes her mouth. It is enough to alert Haley and Aaron- the only people in the room- to her presence.

"Oh hello darling. Come on in, it's two visitors at once," Haley says. She wipes away her tears, and the gap between their birthdays feels like an abyss.

"Are you sure?" Always hesitating too late.

Haley nods, so she walks over. Aaron turns away. She tries to not let it sting.

"Hi Aaron," she whispers.

She sees him close his eyes, willing away tears, and that's enough for her. She turns away too, not wanting to let Haley see how it's affecting her.

A man appears in the doorway. Of course. Haley and Jack are going into WitSec. She doesn't want to say goodbye to Jack, but she also doesn't want him to think she doesn't care. Just as she tries to work out a way to tell Haley this, she feels someone touch her arm.

Haley. When Ella opens her mouth in confusion, Haley shushes her gently and drags her from the room. The man lets them go and she wonders how Haley explained their relationship to him.

"Hay, I am sorry. I am so, so sorry and I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you and to Jack. I swear on my life." Now that their time feels limited, hiding the tears feels pointless.

"You and Aaron are so different. And yet somehow you're exactly the same. I don't need you to tell me that, because I know. But I do need you to promise me something."

"Anything."

"Keep him safe for me?"

Because Haley can't know for certain that Ella will. Not after today. Not after she's failed like she has today.

"I can't. I don't know how," she says, not meeting her eyes.

"You can. You do. Eleanor, promise me."

She's powerless to deny her this. "I promise."

Something like relief passes across her face and Ella manages a real smile. Then Haley suddenly looks too happy, and she knows Jack has found them.

"Miss Ella, Daddy said we have to go away so I wanted to say goodbye," he says.

Ella crouches down like Aaron always does and Jack runs into her arms. He's just a baby, trusting everyone to catch him without a single ounce of hesitation.

"I'm going to miss you a lot. But I'll still love you, even if I can't see you," she tells him.

Haley knew the words are meant for her too, so she smiles.

"Will anyone there have the funny voice you do?" He asks. The joys of childhood.

"Jack! Miss Ella has an English accent, not a funny voice," Haley chastises.

"They might. You'll have to tell me if they do- when you come back of course." If you come back.

Jack nods solemnly. "It will be my other mission."

She smiles, and his mind moves onto the next thing, which is taking his mother back to the marshal. Ella watches them go from their hiding spot, and she feels a strange sense of pride when Haley didn't turn around.

It doesn't last long. She sits on the ground, wondering why she can't cry. The tears that had come so easily when Haley was there have dried up, and she forces herself off the floor once her foot starts to tingle.

Dave is leaving as she re-enters Aaron's room.

"I don't blame you," he says.

"I would," she replies.

He closes his eyes. "Ella, I can't. Not right now. So please don't make me." It's scary sometimes, how well he can read her.

"Okay. I have to go and see Reid. I'll be back tomorrow."

Hotch just nods in acknowledgement.

"I'm sorry," she says from the foot of his bed, her back to him.

"So am I."

She doesn't get the chance to go back the next day. Reids injuries were more complicated than first assumed so there were additional things going on. She didn't understand a word. Spencer loved explaining it though, so it wasn't the worst thing in the world.

In fact, Ella doesn't go back till Aaron is discharged. She meant to. She really did. But in between Spencer- who wasn't to be blamed- working longer days because they were two people down, and everything else, visiting hours never seemed to work. She wasn't sure how often the rest of the team had managed to go. She's too much of a coward to ask.

"What are you doing here?" Aaron asks. He doesn't sound snarky, but she still winces.

"I'm staying with you," she says.

Really, she's the only one who can. Reid is out of the question, because until he can go to the bathroom himself- even if it is whilst using crutches- he's been told to stay with JJ and Will. Derek is overworked, leading the team and checking in with both of them everyday. Everyone else is needed to do their jobs. Ella is the only one junior enough to get away with not being there.

"It's not a problem is it?" Derek asks. He looks exhausted.

Aaron swallows, then shakes his head. "Of course not. I was just surprised."

Ella looks down, feeling her cheeks burn. He's not doing it deliberately, but every word feels like a dagger. Because she loves him. Not the way she did all those years ago, when she felt everything too much, but in a peaceful way. In the way of friendship.

At least, that's what she tells herself.

"Can you walk down to the car?" She asks.

He nods, but Derek brings the wheelchair just in case. It is the right decision, because they've only gone a few steps when the pain in his legs from being thrown on hard flooring becomes too much and he almost falls. Ella doesn't have the strength to carry him, and she feels the hot sting of tears prick her eyes.

What is she thinking? How is she supposed to spend two months caring for him when she can't even do this?

"Are you coming?" Derek asks. She sees that him and Aaron, who looks like he wants the ground to swallow him up, are already in the doorway. She nods, then follows them in silence, grateful that they let her carry the bags, even though they are fully capable of doing it themselves.

They drive back to the apartment in silence, not even the radio giving them background noise. The last time that had happened, Ella had come back from Kate's funeral after her and Aaron's prior knowledge of each other had been revealed in the ugliest way possible. In some ways, she feels like she's coming back from another funeral. Only this time, it's Aaron who has died. Because he will never be the same. None of them will.

"I would stay and help you get settled, but I've already been gone long enough, and there's a very important meeting happening, and the paperwork is building up-"

"Derek. Go. We'll be fine," Ella says.

Derek exhales, and ruffles Hotch's hair, the same way he does to Reid. It reveals a lot about how their dynamic has changed, however unintentionally. He hugs Ella, who goes limp in his arms, taking the moment to be human. It's over too soon, and then she's putting the brake on the wheelchair whilst she unlocks the door.

Aaron's hands are shaking too much.

"Are you hungry?" She asks, as he moves to the sofa, using the arm rest as something to hold onto.

"Not really. I also don't know what I can eat without feeling sick," he says.

She can't resist it. "But you're white, everything is bland anyways."

He doesn't laugh, but he does smile, and after everything, it's more than enough.

She goes over to the cereal cupboard and pours them both a bowl of Jack's sugary one. She adds milk to his, then grabs two spoons and brings them over. Normally, she would sit on the floor. Today, she sits on the couch next to him, crossing her legs to change her positioning.

"Go on. It'll be good for you," she tells him, through a mouthful.

He stares at her, then obeys. They don't speak whilst they eat, but it feels like the comfortable silence they enjoy when everyone else has gone out for lunch and she wants to make sure he actually does eat something.

When his gaze eventually settles on the replaced carpet and covered bullet hole, she swallows. She saw it when she came with Derek to pick some things up for him, but not since then. In fact, she's been making a conscious effort to not look at it since then. She needs time to work out what to say to Aaron.

He doesn't comment, and she doesn't either. Maybe it's selfish of her, but it's nice to pretend things are normal, even if it's only for one night.

"Do you need any help changing?" She asks, as the hands on his clock get closer and closer to midnight.

Aaron starts to shake his head, then slowly nods. She just stands, holding out her arm for him, and together they manage to get him into the bed. She takes the floor, just in case something happens. When Aaron protests, she tells him it'll be good for her back. At least, that's what her mother always said, when her bed went to visiting grandparents.

Aaron doesn't wake up that night. He cooperates with her the next morning, not even questioning how she's been cleared to take that much time off. He doesn't talk about anything, but she also doesn't push him. She doesn't know where they stand after the events of the previous night, so she won't rock the boat.

Spencer is also in high spirits. Will and JJ were both at work- he was staying with them because they had the most accessible house, as everyone else's apartments were smaller and required going either up stairs or in a life, but at their house, he could just take the spare bedroom, something Henry loved- so Ella took it upon herself to go and check up on him too.

After all, she wasn't going to let Dave near him, and Derek had far too much on his plate as it was. She sent him a quick picture of Spencer holding up his latest book, to which he just responded to with a smiley face. It made them both smile.

She only leaves when Will comes home with Henry. There's a bond that exists between the three of them that she'll never truly be involved in, and that's okay. But she didn't want to leave Aaron for any longer than she already had, so after promising Will that everything was okay, she headed back home.

No, not home. Aaron's apartment. She has a home. It's not his.

"I brought dinner by the way," she says, as a way of announcing her presence.

"You didn't need to do that," Aaron says reflexively.

"I wanted to. And look, it's your favourite!"

His eyes light up at the mention of pasta, and because Ella is the one that made it, he's even more excited to try and guess what different spices she threw in this time. He's yet to be correct. This time was no different.

Ella changes his bandages and manages to give him a shower. He doesn't complain, and she's starting to feel nervous. He's up to something. She can tell that much, but she can't tell what. But he's being too good. Too easy. Normally he would downright refuse to let anyone help him until he was seconds away from breaking, and even then.

Aaron doesn't sleep that night. He's too busy thinking about what he found whilst Ella was out. She's none the wiser, convinced he's going to start opening up just as soon as he realises that all she wants to do is help. Rationally, he does know that. But there's a part of his brain that also knows there is every chance Foyet could come back to finish what he started. And if she's there when it happens- if she dies because he was too scared to be alone- then he would have failed everyone who ever dared to have faith in him.

Something feels different the next day. The events are mostly the same, but the atmosphere has changed. It prickles with tension, and Ella has a funny feeling that something is going to be horribly wrong. But then Spencer's appointment goes well, and Aaron eats his dinner, and she allows herself to think that maybe this time, she really is just being paranoid.

Perhaps that was the moment the universe aligned to destroy everything.

Ella gets called into work to assist Anderson the next morning. As she answers her work phone, Aaron's jaw clenches. She doesn't want to go. But when he looks at her, she knows she has to.

"I'm sorry," she tells him again. This time, he doesn't reply. He just hands her a mug of coffee as she heads out the door, not even trying to return her smile.

The photographs they're looking at remind her too much of Aaron's scars. Of the pool of blood in his living room. Of the taunts that were painted across Boston all those months again. When she drops her mug, Anderson sends her home. He doesn't really have the authority to do that, but she obeys. She's no use to anyone when all she can think about is her boss.

Spencer slips, not realising there was a spillage. He's in tears by the time Will gets home and is able to lift him. They both decide to not tell Derek. They do tell Ella, who immediately changes trains to get to them. After following the instructions given to them by the hospital, Spencer decides he's okay. Ella can't help but blame herself. If she'd left the moment it became clear she couldn't do anything useful, instead of waiting for Anderson to decide, she would've been there. She could've helped.

As Spencer falls asleep, drained by the physiotherapy he had done before his fall, Will tells her she wouldn't have been able to do anything more than keep him company. It does nothing to alleviate her guilt, but the thought is appreciated. When he then says he's taken the rest of the afternoon off, just in case, she leaves. Being in their home felt like suffocating.

Ella assumes Aaron is sleeping, so she doesn't bother texting him to say she's coming back because it will just disrupt him. Derek had the locks changed- she's got one of the two spare keys, so she lets herself in, intending to either shower or make a snack.

Neither of those things happen.

Because Aaron isn't sleeping.

He's sitting on the couch, pouring over a file. She doesn't need to go any closer to work out what one it is.

"You're not meant to be looking at that," she says.

He doesn't respond. The file gets put on the coffee table, and she kicks her shoes off before walking over. It's worse than she imagines. Because it's not the original Foyet file. It's the new one. Photos from his apartment, the ones that nobody wanted to take because it felt like a gross invasion of his privacy, are spread across the whole space.

She almost vomits when she realises she couldn't tell which photo was of his scars.

"I have to," he whispers.

"No. You don't."

"I made a promise to Haley. I would catch him, and make it up to her. I have to."

"Well Haley made me promise that I would keep you safe, and this is the exact opposite of that!" She snaps. The weight of her confession only hits her when he turns, eyes wide and mouth parted in shock.

"Why would she ask you to do that?"

"Because she knows how much I love you." There's no point in lying. Not about this. Not now.

Aaron starts to laugh. And suddenly, the events of the previous night make sense. He was acting perfectly because when her back was turned, he was doing the one thing he had been forbidden from doing.

"No you don't. You can't. Not after what I put you through. All those months of hiding. All that time you had to spend fixing something that I broke. You can't love me."

He's scared. He's trying to push her away, but in a way that means she won't look back one last time to make sure it's what he wants. She fell for that once before, and she promised herself she would never do it again.

"I know what you're doing. It's not going to work."

His face falls as he realises she's right.

"You once said to me that I trusted Agent Birch to do what she was told, but I didn't trust Ella to do what was right. Well, now I do. Ella. I am asking you as Aaron. Leave. And don't come back until Foyet is dead."

"I'm staying here."

"No. You're not."

"I am! Why is it so hard for you to understand that I care about you? That I want to keep my promise to Haley just as badly as you do?"

"Don't bring her into this."

"You already did when you insulted the promise you made to her by using it to justify looking at that. I'm not leaving, because you need someone here. And because staying is the right thing to do. Not leaving. Foyet won't come after me because I signed up for this life. Haley didn't."

"Exactly."

"What on earth is that supposed to mean?"

"You're not Haley and you never will be, so stop fucking trying," he shouts.

Ella steps back. Hotch's face immediately softens, and he looks away, hands fisted in the material of his sweatpants.

"Eleanor-"

"I'm leaving," she says.

For better or for worse, he doesn't stop her.

She slips her shoes on in the elevator, not wanting to risk falling down the stairs when the tears she's been trying to find since Haley left are blurring her vision. It's only when she exits the apartment building that she realises just how alone she is. Who is she meant to tell? Where is she meant to go? She can't go to her own apartment, not alone, but there's nobody else she wants to tell. If it was any other time, she would tell Derek, but she can't.

With a deep sigh, she dials a different number.

"Honey! I was wondering when I was going to hear from you! Did you burn Hotch's mouth? Can I bring over the new dish I tried to make. Your mother would kill me if she saw how it came out, but it's edible," Penelope greets.

Ella can't find the words.

"Sweetie?"

"Can you- can you pick me up please? If you're free? I just- I'm outside Hotch's apartment building but I can't go home right now because-" she can't finish.

"I'll be there in ten," Penelope says.

She is, and Ella doesn't want to think about the speeding limits she must have broken to do that. She just gets in, letting Penelope hug her. But she doesn't speak, and Penelope drives to her apartment without asking any questions.

"What happened?" Penelope asks, once they're sitting down.

"It's stupid. He's hurting and he's scared, and he said something he didn't mean to try and protect me, and I hated him for it because he's right. He didn't mean it in a bad way, but he's right."

"Wait, what did he say?"

"That I'm not Haley, and I should stop trying to be."

"Were you?"

Ella looks up in surprise. But there's no judgment in her friend's face. Just a look of encouragement, and a feeling of safety that won't vanish once she gives her answer. It's enough to make her confess.

"I think so. I just wanted him to be okay so badly, that I thought if I reminded him of his reason to fight-"

"You already are. That's why he said it. Because he wants to keep you safe. He wants to keep us all safe."

"I know that."

"You just wish he would do it without destroying himself?"

Ella nods. Penelope pats her knee. "He won't. Destroy himself that is."

"How can you be so sure?"

“Because we’ll be there to stop him.”

And then the phone starts ringing. Penelope frowns, then answers it.

"Derek? Why aren't you calling from your- wait why are you, oh she's here. I'll give it to her."

Ella takes the phone. "What is it?"

"You need to get to the hospital. Hotch opened his stitches and he's going to be fine, but he's being kept in for observation and you're his second medical proxy, so if anything happens tomorrow, they'll defer to you and not me," Derek says.

She almost drops the phone. She remembers Hotch asking her to be his second, a few months after New York, but she had always assumed he changed his mind and made it Dave, like she had told him even though she'd said yes. And then she curses herself for thinking about that instead of the actual incident.

Which she caused.

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

Derek hangs up without another word.

"We need to get to the hospital," she tells Penelope. She just nods, before vanishing into her bedroom. Ella puts her shoes on, and makes sure she's got all her stuff. When Penny comes back, she's holding a bag.

"I have one for each of you. It's got his hospital essentials," she explains.

Ella nods. They need to leave. She explains what happened in the car.

"Hi, we're here for Aaron Hotchner? I'm his second medical proxy, Eleanor Birch? This is technical analyst Penelope Garcia. We work with him at the BAU," she tells the receptionist, because it's a different person this time. They both hold up their I.D. and she wonders when she got so used to hospital procedure.

"Sure, Mr Hotchner is conscious now, so you're free to go through. The rest of his team are already here."

They both nod.

Everyone, with the exception of Derek, is standing in the hallway. Ella doesn't want to look at them, scared they're going to be disgusted with her for leaving. For being too emotional and too distracted to see through his act and for being responsible for everything that's happened and disrupted their lives even more.

"What happened?" She asks, needing to know, even if she doesn't want to.

JJ shrugs. "He wouldn't see any of us. Only Derek."

She doesn't say anything. Nobody asks her why she wasn't there, and she's not sure whether she hates them or loves them for it.

"Ella, come in, we've been waiting for you," Derek says, poking his head round the door.

Everyone else turns in his direction. He gives them the bravest smile he can manage and nods, as though confirming that he's going to make it through the night. Ella takes a deep breath to calm herself, and walks in.

Before she can stop herself, she's throwing her arms around Aaron. He doesn't smell like he should, and that's more upsetting than the bandages that cover his chest. He lets out a slight sound of surprise, but she doesn't pull away till he starts to shift in his bed. Only then does she properly take in his appearance. He's too pale.

"I'm so sorry. I should never have left," she says.

"I shouldn't have said what I said. I just- I was looking at the file, and I panicked, because that man knows about everything and everyone that matters to me, and I couldn't have him taking you away because-"

"Shh, it's okay. You're already forgiven. I know you were just trying to help. But most importantly, what were you trying to do?"

"Change the dressing and bandages. I know it was irresponsible and stupid, but I just didn't want to get you involved."

Pride will always be his downfall. Not because he has too much of it, but because he never allows himself a moment to think that he can be both. Vulnerable and proud. He doesn't need to choose.

"I'm sorry," she says. She feels like she's said it more in the past week than in an entire lifetime. But she is. If she had been there for him, if she had just stayed, if she hadn't let her emotions get the better of her, just like she always did, he would be safe. Maybe even sleeping.

They need to talk about it. Properly. But not tonight. Tonight, she needs to think about why she was trying so hard to be just like Haley. He needs to process that if she hadn't stopped him, he would've said he loved her. Tonight, they need to let themselves be unburdened, even if it's only for a few minutes whilst they eat.

Derek is watching from a distance. He knows what the look on Ella's face means. She's holding herself together through sheer determination to appear worthy of her position, but the threads are fraying with every word that leaves Aaron's mouth.

And Aaron doesn't regret what he said. Not truly. Because he loves Ella. In one way or another, he loves her enough to die for her, and he knows she loves him enough to do the same. But it terrifies him, so he is going to push, and push, and test her boundaries until she snaps and leaves him, because he doesn't understand that people can stay.

But he's exhausted. It is selfish to want Aaron to come back, especially now, but that's what he wants. He never wanted the role of Unit Chief to come to him like this. So instead of forcing them to have the discussion, he just takes the chair next to the bed. Ella immediately shifts so he can sit on the bed with her, which the nurse who comes in finds hilarious.

Hotch doesn't let the rest of the BAU see him. They get it. Derek is his second. Ella has been staying with him, and even if she hadn't, she brings out the side of Aaron they only ever saw around Haley.

They still stay. They watch from outside his room.

"Do you think they'll be okay?" Penelope asks. She told everyone what had happened, because they needed to understand.

Nobody knows how to answer. Because the question has come from the one woman that was supposed to always believe, and always see the bright side.

"They have to be. There's no other way this can end," Spencer says, because it is not a lie.

They're okay for that night.

But then Aaron changes the locks again. And Eleanor does not get the spare key. So then she does not see him again until he returns from his leave. Eleven days too early.

And then they're not okay. They're about as far from it as they can get.