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jeriafterdark · 3 years ago

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The Ring Saga - Part 1/4. The Moment that made me believe in JunZhe/LLD

Part 1 : My Treatise on the idea of CP, JunZhe / BJYX, and Homophobia

Part Two - link will be updated as I post

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five Nov 28, 2022

In order to get my mind off of the absolute drama of the state of the community right now, I’d like to write a treatise on the validity and loveliness of JunZhe / LLD; welcome to my TED talk. This will come in FOUR PARTS.

LONG POST AHEAD!---

Important note for new followers: welcome! This is all speculation/CPN (cp fiction), it's impossible to know for sure that these actors are together unless they willingly come out themselves. And considering the environment in c-ent and China, homosexuality isn't exactly welcomed, so there's that.

I only present my view and what I've gathered, and I try to maintain an accurate account of events even if that sacrifices it being fun to read, so be forewarned! My sudden zzh appreciation posts just pop out tho so I'm not perfect ok?

1. My initial skepticism about JunZhe/LLD:

Initially, after I finally believed that BJYX/YiZhan (Wang Yibo/Xiao Zhan) was real, I highly doubted that their story could be replicated again. If you are unfamiliar with their story, I recommend rainbowsky’s blog / accio-victuuri’s blog. Anyway, in the back of my mind I knew that lots of LGBTQIA+ people exist in the entertainment industry in every nation, and it must also be true in China as well. And people fall in love on set all the time, they get into their character, they find chemistry in each other, they get together, and that’s that. Well, I figured since it happened once already with WY/XZ, how likely was it to happen again in ANOTHER danmei adaptation so soon between the lead actors?

I also would like to note that I’m usually not in any overseas fandoms so the idea of CPF (couple fans) was completely foreign to me. I see that many people treat CPF’s as some kind of delusional fans who just want two men to boink? But the treatment of CPF’s by a lot of solos / general public seem very homophobic to me, as someone from a country whose LGBTQIA+ communities are allowed to exist and maybe even thrive (of course there are exceptions, etc). In my eyes, CPF’s are just ordinary fans who recognize when two people have quite a clear romantic connection. And in our case, I don’t even believe that we’re just CPF’s, that we’re fans who “ship” two people - I think we’re just fans who support a real couple.

1.5 Homophobia in entertainment and the hurdle same-sex couples must pass

People fall in love all the time on set. Straight or gay or queer people.

However, we do have homophobia in entertainment. Oftentimes heterosexual couples are assumed to be the default of any “normal” relationship (this is often coined as a part of "heteronormativity"). Thus, any interactions between a man and a woman are “naturally” seen as romantic, and normal, and thus accepted. And so the bar for a man and a woman to actually be seen as romantic and in a relationship is extremely low. They can brush elbows and give each other the side eye - and audiences would be gnawing at their bits shipping them, and no one would be doubting it.

(Ex) I will cite the famous “Brangelina” cp - Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, who both divorced their current partners to be with each other after meeting on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. The tabloids were on fire with their relationship, in which they spent a lot of personal time together + appeared in each other’s space all the time. Sound familiar???? Everyone assumed they were together, honestly, I was a teenager at the time and even I knew lol. (Of course they ended up divorcing after like over a decade, but that’s an aside).

On their falling in love on set:

Del Prete[assistant director] remembers one night, after filming in the desert, Jolie and Pitt stuck around in lieu of returning to their hotel, built a campfire and spent the night in their trailers. "It was a little more than a working relationship," he added. "You don't really see those flirtatious type of things."

Gertz also noted an obvious friendship. "You definitely saw a back and forth ... just an easiness about people that have not spent a lot of time together," she said. "Or, you know, just an easiness when you have 150 people in the crew around you dissecting every part of the scene, and you still have a fun camaraderie, a banter, that you’re able to maintain."

^^^ All of these things are typical of people who fall in love - it happened to Brad Pitt/Angelina, Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo, and here - Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan (do you know of the 'One Rainy Night' story? where they spent the night in ZZH's trailer?)

Here are 5 couples in C-ent who fell in love on set (heterosexual cp's), maybe their CP fans also got a lot of hate, I wasn't in the fandom at the time, so I wouldn't know. But it's readily accepted, and they actually announced their marriages after falling in love. A luxury our boys don't have.

1.51 - Queer Old Hollywood and Lavender Marriages

Because queer people didn't have the luxury of being out and proud, they had other means to shield themselves from retaliation and persecution, i.e. the lavender marriage.

Queer actors and actresses have existed since... acting began? If I were to go back, we can compare current c-ent to Old Hollywood (1920s-50s).

You may have heard of Hollywood's Hays Code, which outlawed any "sexual perversions" in motion pictures, in which homosexual relationships fell under. But did you know that the early 1920's actually were very accepting towards queer relationships? The "Pansy craze" swept the world, people were out and gay and dancing and dressing in drag, even straight people. The film Manslaughter (1922) was the first film to show a kiss between members of the same sex, and it was only in the 1930's when the code started to be enforced and homosexuality was forbidden. Universal Pictures actually put in provisions in actors' contracts, "morality clauses," that made sure they were straight! And if not, then they'd lose their livelihoods, so if anyone felt any gay feelings, they'd have to resort to other options. I.e. the Lavender Marriage. (This video is fantastic on this history)

A Lavender Marriage is a type of marriage where both partners are of the opposite sex, but are gay / lesbian. It's a marriage of convenience, meant to be a shallow shield against outside eyes, so each partner could pursue their own lives privately under the guise of already being in a heterosexual marriage. Many famous people were speculated to be in lavender marriages: Rudolph Valentino (who got married a few times and divorced his wives after a few years, and whose wives actually got married to him to hide their relationships with their girlfriends lol).

(Natacha Rambova / Rudolph Valentino - they're both gay)

Judy Garland famously married Vincenti Minnelli, an openly gay man in New York. She later even advised her only daughter, Liza Minnelli, to marry gay men because they make the "best husbands." The fact that he was gay was an open secret! If you had any gay feelings, people in the business knew, and they were fine with it usually as long as you weren't too ~in your face~ about it, or too public with it.

Cary Grant also famously lived with his "roommate," Randolph Scott, for more than 10 years and cycled through 5 different wives. They had many many many pictures of them shown in fan magazines, promoting their "cp," their "best friends" and "bachelors" image.

Yes, the CP-branding does extend all the way back to Old Hollywood. They'd write about their favorite recipes, so women at home could practice those recipes in the hopes of marrying these men. Their studio knew of these photos, taken by a gay photographer, actually, and stressed that the photos not be too gay. Just enough. Anyway, even after all the CP promotion ended, they still stayed in touch and lived together.

Interestingly, Chinese people have a version of this called Tongqi (同妻) or " tongfu (同夫) is another neologism for men who have married lesbian women."

See how gay Old Hollywood was? And how queer current Hollywood is? Do you really think that it's that different to C-ent? Queer people exist everywhere, in all eras. And the fact that they were gay/bi/queer was an open secret.

1.52 Current C-ent is similar to Old Hollywood

As you may have seen, current c-ent is on a censorship mania. After WOH aired, rules were enacted to basically ban dangai dramas, or anything that's deemed too queer. We know that if it weren't for censorship, like the Hays Code, we'd probably have gotten a WenZhou sex scene / kiss scene / nude dual cultivation scene.

In terms of actors, there are also a few famous personalities in c-ent whose sexual orientations are open secrets (I can't say who bc ofc it's unconfirmed, but if everyone and their mom knew Rudolph Valentino, a famous and highly popular actor, was gay, then is it that farfetched to assume that people in the entertainment business also know? And that they don't really care, or are even happy for their friends/ colleagues?)

Even straight actors kept their relationships a secret and had CHILDREN (Andy Lau, HK). Maintaining image that you're single is important for keeping up a fanbase and fan-following, as c-ent and Old Hollywood have assumed. (It makes the whole JunZhe obviousness even better because clearly they know how many fans they stood to lose by being close, but they didn't care).

In addition to that, there are still lots of studios who take advantage of actors, young and old, and sign them without properly giving them backing or just working them to the bone for x amount of years (ZZH's old studio, where he sustained a knee injury and was encouraged to work anyway and permanently injured his knee / GJ and his first signings where he was scammed). (in the US, contracts can be broken at any time but the studio can still have a "sunset clause" where they'll receive x amt of royalties for a time).

Now that I've established that queer people exist, and how open secrets were a thing in Old Hollywood, and how current c-ent is similar to Old Hollywood in that queerness = bad, queers = exist, we can move onto JunZhe.

2. JunZhe and SHL/WOH

In the case of WOH/SHL, they went ALL OUT in showing how absolutely gay for each other Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing are. And in the BTS, these two are EVEN MORE in love than on-screen.

And in interviews and promotions, Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan both support each other so much, and are almost UNCOMFORTABLY in each other’s personal space. They are constantly touching, giggling at each other, looking at each other, sneaking a peak, smiling lovingly,

like - there’s a certain level of internalized homophobia (we all have it due to the world we live in, don't worry) that makes people deny that this could be anything but “bros” or “bromance.”

But when you apply these interactions to a man and a woman? If a man and a woman were to act in the same way that they do? One constantly holding onto things for the other (concert), instinctively reaching out for each other if one is falling (Happy camp), brushing each other’s hair away from their eyes (every second of WOH BTS), staring at the other’s lips while they talk (Ace Actress interview, WOH promotions), brushing shoulders in every interview (everywhere), casually holding onto one other’s waists while they cross paths in a cross-promotion (Tom Ford promo), just IMAGINE THAT. With a man and a woman, most wouldn't doubt that they’re something more than “friends.” I don't do these things with my friends. Like. AT LEAST, one must acknowledge that these two are flirting.

BUT SOMEHOW, when it comes to two men, or two women, they are dismissed as just “close friends,” or the dreaded - “roommates” stereotype lol. Now, the caveat is that it is detrimental to a person’s image in CN media to be out of the closet, so I understand if people deny them their love on that… but as I've said above, these aren't really secrets? Everyone in your industry knows that you're queer. And they're fine with it. They literally cannot go around blabbing everything because their careers are also on the line, and they don't want to make enemies. They just have to put on a façade according to the Code.

Why not just acknowledge that their actions are more than friends, respect what they show to the public and support them in that endeavor? Or at the very least, leave the CPF’s or fans who acknowledge their relationship alone - just cuz one couple is gay doesn’t make your world explode. It took a lot, like a LOT of evidence to get over my own internalized homophobia (even as a decidedly queer person), that these two men can’t be in love, they’re not allowed so it must just be friendship and closeness and then omg did they really say that to each other, and then why are they always touching each other, and etc etc down the pit I went lol.

3.The Significance of THE RING:

Normally, idols and stars in c-ent wear jewelry that they either 1) own themselves or 2) are sponsored to wear during red carpet / premieres / photoshoots etc. If they were still working and have a dedicated fanbase, they also would avoid wearing rings on their ring fingers. They have a vested interest in the obtainable ‘bachelor/bachelorette’ look, so that their solo fans can have the fantasy that they, one day, may be able to be with them and thus continue to support their idols with the $$$$$.

So it is quite rare for two seemingly single bachelors to start wearing rings on their ring fingers. And we know they were single because Ma-jie, the chief producer of WOH, specifically only chose single actors for the leads of Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu. I know all of this from other fandoms, and it’s just rational to assume that in order to continue your lucrative career in entertainment, and to cater to your solo fans, you must maintain the “available” facade. SO, BOY WAS I SURPRISED WHEN I SAW THOSE ENGAGEMENT RINGS.

Part Two: The Rings to Rule Them All (Queue'd for tomorrow, Apr 23, 2022)

As a sidenote, BJYX also has a lot of CPN (cp "fiction" or unconfirmed observations) revolving around rings. It's actually shown that XZ does wear a ring around his neck, whose outline can be seen in a lot of impromptu videos or photos. For more about them and their ring, check here. So yeah, rings are a thing. I mean, they're a thing for het couples, so why wouldn't they be for gay couples?

Now that I've laid the ground for the Ring Saga, let's get to it in the next part!

#28dayslldchallenge #junzhe #lld #langlangding #gong jun #bjyx #old hollywood #the ring #the ring saga #lgbtqia history

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drarrily-we-row-along · 4 years ago

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Day 34: Using The Following Prompt

Here's the original prompt- I changed it a bit.

"So are you in love with Astoria, then?" Ron asked.

Draco downed a shot of... something. He honestly had no idea what it was. It was strong, whatever it was, and it was getting him drunk and that was enough. He pushed the shot glass away, "Nope," he replied, steadily not looking at his auror partner and gazing aimlessly at the bottles of alcohol lined up behind the bar.

"Then what's going on?" Ron asked, bumping Draco's shoulder with his. "Come on, we've been partners for three years and you've never even sat down for a beer with me this early in the day."

He motioned for the bartender to pour him another shot.

"Seriously. It's okay if you're in love with her, she was your fiance. And a right bint for leaving you for your best mate, if you ask me."

"Honestly," Draco groaned as he took the next proffered shot, "It's not about bloody Astoria. I don't give a flying fuck what she does with her life. I never wanted to marry her anyway." He swallowed the burning liquid and glanced over at Ron, "You know I'm gay, right?"

Ron shrugged, "I had my suspicions, but you were getting married."

"Yes, I'm quite an unsuitable candidate for a straight marriage," he agreed as the bartender poured him another shot and he tossed that one back as well.

"Seriously," Ron said, "You have to slow down or you'll end up at St. Mungo's with alcohol poisoning."

"Do you think Potter would come visit me?" he asked miserably.

"You like Harry?" Ron asked, voice unbearably loud and incredulous.

(Read more below the cut)

Draco shook his head, "Of course I don't. Because that," he said, stabbing at the bar top with his finger for emphasis, "would be ridiculous."

"Right," Ron said. "But for argument's sake what would be ridiculous about it?"

He sighed and traced his finger through the ring left on the top of the bar, "Well, for starters he's the savior of the world and I am a death eater."

"Were a death eater," Ron chided. "Mostly you were just a child, though, and we all know it."

Draco inclined his head, oddly touched by Ron's defense. It had taken them an extraordinarily long time to get here but Ron really was a good friend. "Well he's also so handsome," Draco said, then added, "If you're into the rugged, strong, man bun type of guy. And he's got that constant stubble, imagine how that would feel on your skin," Draco murmured, getting quite lost indeed in imagining that way his stubble would scratch the tender skin of his neck, his belly, his thighs-

"Draco," Ron said, snapping his fingers rudely in front of his face. "Look, you know I love you and you know I love Harry, but I have absolutely no desire to think about whatever it is you're imagining."

"I'm imagining nothing," Draco replied with a sniff, tilting his head up. "I said if you were into that sort of thing."

"Right," Ron said, nodding sagely. "What else would you be into, if you were into Harry?"

"I mean, he has those eyes, doesn't he?" Draco asked. "And he's really sweet and kind, but then once in a while, those eyes get that twinkle of mischief," he sucked in a breath. "Imagine having that mischief aimed at you in the bedroom. You think you're just going in for the usual and suddenly a well placed incarcerous has you tied to the bed, and-"

Ron cleared his throat, "Right, hypothetically speaking of course, are there things you'd like about him other than," he gestured vaguely, "Bedroom related activities?"

"Are you kidding?" Draco asked. "If I liked Harry," he paused, "Potter, that is," he corrected himself, "There are a million things to like. He already makes my tea perfectly," he said, "And he has like a sixth sense for when I'm in need of a good cuppa. He laughs at my jokes and he doesn't mind that I'm a sarcastic, prickly pain in the arse; he actually seems to enjoy it. And he's the type of bloke that would give you his jacket if you were cold."

"That's true," Ron agreed.

Draco nodded, "And he likes to play quidditch and he likes to watch quidditch. He's got decent taste in food; he likes his Indian food too hot though." He sighed, "I mean, what's not to like about him?"

"There are definitely a few things," Ron said. "But, hypothetically speaking of course, if he felt the same about you how would you feel?"

He shook his head, "He doesn't."

"But if he did," Ron pressed.

"I'd say we ought to check to be sure he hasn't been imperiused, or hasn't had a love potions slipped to him, or that he hasn't had a nasty fall and given himself a concussion, or that-"

"Right," Ron interrupted, "But say that all of those things checked out and he felt that way about you, too, how would you feel?"

"Honestly?" Draco asked.

"Yeah, mate."

"Like I'd won the lottery. Like every good thing that has ever happened to me was completely meaningless in the face of this revelation. Like I am the most undeservedly lucky man in the world. And I will never in a million years be good enough for him, but if somehow he wanted me, I would spend the rest of my life trying to be."

"Huh," a voice said behind him. "I would have said pretty much the same thing."

Draco scrunched his eyes shut, "Please tell me that I am experiencing auditory hallucinations."

"Afraid not," that voice replied once more and he was going to kill Ronald Weasley.

"Traitor!" he exclaimed, trying to slap Weasley. "I thought you were my friend!"

"I would have thought the same," Potter said, sliding onto the stool next to him.

"Leave me alone," Draco groaned, dropping his head onto the bar. "Just leave me to die. Bartender," he shouted, waving his arm, "Another shot, please."

He felt a wave of Potter's magic wash over him, feeling the pleasant tingle before the sobering charm crashed over him like a tsunami.

He groaned, "What the actual fuck is wrong with you?"

"Sorry," Potter replied unrepentantly. "I just don't fancy having this conversation when you're drunk enough to not remember it."

"I hate you," Draco growled, feeling mad and prickly, feeling betrayed and vulnerable. Really this day could not get any worse. "And I hate Weasley."

"That's a pity," Potter said, "because I feel quite the opposite."

"Yes, Weasley is your best friend. He's such a good friend to you, true and loyal-"

"I meant about you," Potter interrupted. "Obviously I love Ron, meddler that he is," he added with a little chuckle, "but I was talking about you."

Draco sat up and stared morosely ahead, "Don't do this, Potter."

"What?" the other man asked in confusion.

"The pity. I know you're feeling sorry for me because my engagement's been broken off, and-"

Before he could finish, Potter stood up and spun him around in his seat until his back was pressed against the bar, then he cupped his cheek and kissed him.

Draco groaned into the kiss because it felt even better than he'd imagined as Harry's stubble rubbed against his chin, his calloused fingertips caressing Draco's cheek before sliding into his hair and re-angling his head so he could delve deeper into his mouth.

He spread his legs, allowing Harry to step closer to him and the hand Harry hadn't threaded through his hair came to rest on Draco's neck, his thumb stroking over his jaw and his throat.

He clenched his fingers in Harry's jacket, tugging him closer, his entire body blazing.

When Harry pulled back, Draco almost tipped out of his seat; he certainly would have fallen if Harry hadn't caught him. "It's not pity," Harry said, his voice seemed to have dropped about an octave and when Draco opened his eyes to meet Harry's gaze he saw his pupils were blown wide. "It's a lot of things, one four-letter-L-word that's not so scary and one that is, but it's not pity."

"Fucking finally," Ron muttered.

"I don't even want to hear it," Harry said, looking over at Ron but not moving even one inch away from Draco. "How many years did I have to watch you and Hermione pine after each other?"

"Right, right. I'll just be," he looked around, "Anywhere that isn't here."

Harry turned his attention back to Draco and Draco realized that he still had his fists clenched in the other man's jacket. "I really like you Draco," Harry murmured.

"I really like you, too," he replied, feeling a bit dazed.

"I'm glad you're not getting married to Astoria."

Draco laughed, "Not as glad as I am."

Harry combed his fingers through Draco's fringe, brushing it back off his face, "Could I take you to dinner sometime?"

"Are you free tonight?"

Harry smiled at him, his bloody adorable dimples revealing themselves, "For you? I'm free anytime. And I promise not to take you for Indian."

Draco groaned and dropped his head forward on Harry's chest, "How much of our conversation did you hear?"

"Came in right around the bit about a well-placed incarcerous," he confessed and Draco could hear him grinning.

"You're not going to let me live it down are you?"

Harry laughed, "No," then he tipped his head down so his lips were pressed against Draco's ear, "Especially since I would be more than glad to tie you up and have you at my mercy. Or vice versa."

"Well," Draco said, his cheeks heating as he leaned back so he could look up at Harry, "My bedroom is only an apparation away."

"Dinner first," Harry insisted, tugging Draco up from the bar stool, "I have a feeling you're going to need your strength," he added with a wink.

Draco followed him out of the pub, feeling for the first time in a long time, that things were starting to look up.

Day 33: Chocolate | Day 35: Tears

#100 drarry drabbles in 100 days #drarry #getting together #pining #Ron's a good friend #idiots in love #drarry drabbles #drarry ficlets #my writing #day 34 #Thanks so much for the prompt #I hope you enjoy it!

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heymacy · 3 years ago

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I love all those sentence prompts you just posted.😂 But I feel like the most appropriate one is probably:

“So why did I have to punch that guy?”

Thank you Arrow!! 💗

Ridiculous Sentence Prompts: "So why did I have to punch that guy?"

There were only a few things left in the world that made Mickey really, really angry.

The first was their property manager, Melanie, and her stupid-ass dog with its stupid, stupid diaper.

The second was the fact that a single can of beer cost four times more on the West Side than it did back in their old neighborhood. What special brand of bullshit were these crunchy granola hippies trying to churn out at the Wine, Etc. store, anyway?

The third thing, and probably the only one that would stick around after he adjusted to his new life above the poverty line, was any time that anyone disrespected, hurt, or even mildly annoyed his husband.

Every time they dealt with an irritating client or an overzealous new employee, Mickey would clench his teeth and fight the urge to knock them on their ass. One hit was all it would take, he knew that for certain. He'd taken down Ian's exes, family members, hell, even Ian himself on a few occasions, with a single punch to the throat.

Now, he was an adult, a business owner, a husband and partner that needed to play by society's rules if they were ever going to crawl out of the gutter completely.

The very idea made Mickey's teeth ache.

He bit his bottom lip while they sat side-by-side in their booth at the Alibi, waiting for some schmuck to meet them for an interview.

"We need to start interviewing the guys we hire, Mickey," Ian had said one night while cooking dinner. He chopped the carrots and celery on the wooden cutting board while Mickey sat slumped on the couch, nursing a beer and watching a TikTok Mandy had sent him earlier that day.

He looked up at his husband as he watched an orange and white cat chow down on kibble after his automatic feeder malfunctioned.

Mandy 🌻 (6:09pm): plz tell ian this is him in cat form

Mickey snorted at his phone, barely registering Ian's comment.

"Mick?" Ian tried again, and Mickey looked up from his phone.

"Hmm?" he replied through a mouthful of beer.

"I said we need to start interviewing the guys we hire," Ian said again, using the knife to scrape the carrots and celery off of the cutting board and into the giant pot he had boiling on the stove. Mickey wasn't sure what he was making, but it smelled amazing.

"What for? Those resumé things ain't good enough for you?" Mickey's mouth quirked up on the side as he tried to hide a smirk.

Ian rolled his eyes and used the comically oversized wooden spoon to stir his soup.

"No, Mick. So we don't have another Connor situation."

Mickey snorted. Connor was a dipshit they'd hired back in April to help with pickups, a dipshit that had cost the company almost $2,500 after he "forgot" to make the deposit with Ian and Mickey at the end of his scheduled route.

"I mean, his name's Connor. Kinda feel like you should've known what you were walkin' in to with that one."

"I'm serious," Ian said. "Interviews. We gotta do 'em." He stirred the soup vigorously, the spoon clanking against the side of the pot with every twist.

Mickey sighed deeply and rolled his eyes.

"Fine, we'll interview some new guys. But we're not doing it at a Starbucks or some shit. I'm not ready to go full West Side." He scrunched up his nose and made a face, to which Ian just chuckled.

"Glad you're on board," he teased, getting back to work on his soup, which had started to bubble.

Kev and Vee had moved to Louisville a month before, transferring ownership of the bar to Carl and Officer Tipping, who promised to keep everything just as it was. It gave Mickey a sense of calm knowing that even as the rest of his old neighborhood was slipping away, his adolescent stomping grounds now littered with coffee shops and yoga studios, some things remained the same.

He ran his fingers along the familiar crack in the table, a sharp sensation prodding the pads of his fingertips and helping him forget, even temporarily, what they were there to do.

Ian smacked the back of Mickey's hand gently.

"Stop it," he said, referring to the way Mickey was two seconds away from giving himself a splinter.

Mickey huffed and rolled his eyes.

"What's this guy's name again?"

Ian looked at his phone where he had an email pulled up. He glanced over the message then scrolled to the bottom.

"Derek," he said plainly.

"Derek," Mickey mocked, and Ian whacked him in the chest with the back of his hand.

"Knock it off," he said, and Mickey rolled his eyes again.

"Whatever. He's late anyway, let's just bail and go get some pizza."

"He's not late, Mickey. It's only..." he looked at his watch. "3:58. He's got three minutes until he's late."

Just then, as if summoned by Ian's voice, a tall, lanky, blond man walked through the front door of the bar and made his way towards the back corner booth where Ian and Mickey sat.

"You guys Ian and Mackie?"

Ian snorted as he tried to hide his laughter. Mickey rolled his eyes a third time, this time so hard that it was honestly impressive he didn't snap his optic nerves in the process.

"Mickey," Ian corrected politely. He nudged his husband with his elbow and the two of them climbed out of the booth to meet with their interviewee.

Ian shook his hand firmly.

"I'm Ian, and this is my husband Mickey." He smiled and turned to Mickey, who was standing with his hands in his pockets and giving Derek, all six feet two inches of him, an intense once-over. Elbowing his husband for a second time, Mickey relented, pulling his hands from his pockets and reaching out to shake Derek's hand. His giant palm was cold and clammy but also somehow uncomfortably hot. Mickey grimaced.

"Hey," he said gruffly. "Mickey."

"Derek," the other man said as they shook hands. "So you two are married?"

Ian nodded.

"Little over a year now, yeah."

Derek nodded.

"Cool, cool, cool," he said, nodding and looking around. "So this place is...interesting."

The judgmental and condescending way Derek said "interesting" wasn't new or unusual to either of them, but tall lanky blond bitches with North Side energy and a terrible fade saying "interesting" like they wanted to say "disgusting" made Mickey's blood boil.

He clenched his fist without even realizing what he was doing. Ian noticed immediately when Mickey's shoulders tensed up, stiffening in a way that reminded Ian of a startled cat, and he turned to climb back in the booth. He squeezed Mickey's arm once, twice, and dragged him down into the booth with him.

"It was a family friend's place," Ian said, nonchalant, eager to move the conversation away from the Alibi and towards their business. "So, Derek, on your resume, I see that you worked--"

Derek cut Ian off mid-sentence.

"Have they ever thought about turning this place into some sort of art installation or something? Just with the open floor plan and the exposed pipes, it's very pseudo-industrial-chic."

If they hadn't already assumed before by his distinct vocal fry and the smell of coconut hair gel, Derek's use of the term "pseudo-industrial-chic" solidified what the other two already knew: there were three gay motherfuckers in this booth.

Ian stuttered for a second, surprised by Derek's interjection and resistance to changing the subject.

"Don't think so, no." He grabbed his phone and opened up the Gmail app again. "So, anyway, your resume says you worked at--"

"You know what would be really cool in here? A movement class. I went to one in LA once that was hosted by Gwyneth Paltrow and it was liberating."

Mickey snorted and Ian elbowed him in the ribs.

"I bet it was," Ian said, unamused at Derek's refusal to talk about his work history. "So you worked at--"

"Have you guys ever been to LA? Oh my god, it's the best. So chic. I mean, I'm from Evanston originally, so basically anything is chic in comparison. I mean, not here, obviously, but you know. Other places."

Ian sighed.

"Totally," he said. "So, your work history, it says--"

"Hey, do you guys know what the best dispensary is around here? Preferably something upscale, with those iPads you can order on. I need a few new carts--"

"Dude," Mickey cut in. "Can you shut the fuck up for five seconds?"

Derek looked surprised, and Mickey could hear Ian's sharp, apprehensive inhale.

"Excuse me?" Derek said, holding his hand to his chest.

"He's been trying to ask you the same question since we sat down, and you won't shut the fuck up about chic cities and weed, so if you could just answer our questions, that would be great." He looked over at Ian, whose eyes were wide and hesitant, unsure about how things were about to unfold.

"You're very rude," Derek said to Mickey, giving him a scowl.

Mickey snorted.

"Yeah, tell me something I don't know."

Derek's eyes narrowed and his forehead wrinkled up, agitated.

"You should be nicer to the people you want to hire." He crossed his arms over his chest like a petulant child.

Mickey laughed out loud.

"Dude, who says we wanna hire you? I'm pretty sure if you worked for us, I'd blow my brains out in the first two minutes."

Ian tried and failed miserably to conceal his laughter, covering his mouth with his hand and looking down at the table. Mickey leaned over towards his husband.

"I kinda wanna punch this guy in the mouth," he mumbled, and Ian side-eyed him from where he sat beside him.

"Please don't," he replied in a whisper before composing himself and turning back to Derek.

"Look, Derek, you seem like a nice guy, but I don't think this is gonna work out." He held out his hand to signal that the interview was over, but Derek didn't return his handshake. Instead, he pouted like a toddler that had just been scolded for bad behavior.

"Your husband's a dick," Derek said to Ian, and Mickey could literally feel Ian's body stiffen next to him.

"Hey," Mickey said, putting his hand on Ian's knee. "Forget it. Let's go get pizza."

"No," Ian said sternly, turning back to Derek. "Listen, dude, you're also kind of a dick, so why don't we just call this a wash and you can go track down your carts or whatever."

Mickey bit his lip, fighting a smile. He secretly loved when Ian got defensive, as long as it wasn't directed towards him.

"You're both dicks!" Derek said, slamming his hands down on the table. He slid out of the booth and stood up, and Mickey and Ian did the same. The three men stood there, Derek facing the husbands with a pissed-off expression.

"You should go," Ian said, pointing at the door.

Derek snorted.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised. When the ad said South Side, I knew there was a good chance the owners were a couple of trashy, ghetto assholes. But him?" He pointed at Mickey. "He's a world-class dick."

Before Derek could say anything else, he was cut off by a fist to the jaw and dropped to the floor, unconscious.

The ambient chatter and loud clacking of billiard balls came to a halt as the regulars that sat scattered around the Alibi turned in unison to see what had happened. Once they identified the source of the loud "thud" as one of the Gallagher-Milkovich boys knocking out some blond giant, they immediately turned back to their various activities.

Just another day on the South Side.

Ian cupped his right fist in his left hand and turned to Mickey, bewildered.

"I just punched that guy, Mick," he said, genuinely surprised. "I knocked him out. Shit."

Mickey shrugged.

"He kinda deserved it."

Ian looked at Mickey with a really? sort of expression and shook his head back and forth.

"Still," he said, turning to look at Derek, sprawled out unconscious on the floor like a rag doll.

"C'mon man, it's fine. He'll come to, and when he does, we'll be long gone." He grabbed Ian's upper arm and gave him a tug, but Ian just sat back down in the booth.

"Why did I do that?" he asked, but Mickey knew he was talking only to himself. He sat down beside his husband, stepping over Derek's long ass leg on his way back to the booth.

"I mean, you kinda had to."

Ian looked over at Mickey, eyebrows raised. He stared at his husband for a moment, puzzling, before breaking into a smile.

"What?" Mickey asked, confused as to how Ian could go from having some sort of moral crisis over knocking out a hipster to grinning gleefully at his husband in a half second. Ian reached over and put his hand on Mickey's thigh. Immediately, the mood shifted. Pool cues squeaked as they were chalked up and glasses clinked on the countertops. The distinct chhh-chhh sound of a spray bottle punctured Mickey's ear drums as he looked down at his husband's hand on his thigh.

"So," Ian said, voice quieter than before. "Why did I have to punch that guy?"

Mickey smirked. He could be honest, and say the obvious reason, which was that Derek was a total douche canoe and deserved to be socked in the mouth by someone his own size. He could lie, and say it was because Derek seemed dangerous and Ian was just following his instincts, but that would have been the lie of the fucking century.

Instead, he said neither, and opted for something he knew would make Ian smile.

"Because you love me."

Ian's face broke into a full grin and he giggled, leaning over to kiss his husband once, quickly, well-aware of Mickey's hesitancy towards PDA when they were out and about on the South Side.

When he pulled back, he was smirking, and Mickey knew his cheeks were flushed. He hadn't been expecting the kiss, however brief it was, and his stomach felt a little fluttery.

"I mean, I'm not the kind of guy that just stands by and lets people talk shit about the man he loves." He grinned and Mickey rolled his eyes, remembering Ian telling him about the last words he'd said to Glittery Twink Byron the night they'd gotten engaged.

"You're a fuckin' sap, man."

"True," Ian said, standing up from the booth and stepping over Derek's leg as Mickey had done minutes before. He reached out his hand and pulled his husband from the booth. The two of them stood there momentarily, staring at Derek's lump of a body on the sticky, peanut-shell covered floor.

"Should we like, do something?" Mickey asked, kicking Derek's foot with his own boot. The man didn't move a muscle. Mickey wondered for a second if he might be dead, but the shallow rise and fall of the douche canoe's chest let him know that unfortunately, for all of humankind, the asshole was still alive.

Ian shook his head.

"Nah, he can sleep it off."

He reached down and took Mickey's hand in his own.

"C'mon," he said as he dragged them both towards the door. "Let's go get pizza."

#writing prompts #sentence prompts #ficlet #the husband energy is strong with this one #shameless

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emotions-ew · 3 years ago

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A Collection of Queer Country Artists and Songs for anyone who doesn’t feel like there’s country music they can relate to...

There is this idea that country music is like just Republican men singing about beer, and trucks and also Jesus, and that is kind of fair because loads of it is but there are some cool as hell queer/lgbtq+ country artists. Finding those and finding that representation in a genre of music I was literally raised on kind of changed my life in a tiny way and I wanted to share that.

(This is by no means a comprehensive list and also I’m basing the “Country” part of this sometimes on my subjective opinion/limited music knowledge so yuh please don’t hate me if I get some wrong)

Also link below for a Spotify playlist of my favourite gay/gayish country music, some mentioned in this post some not, (with a title that isn’t obviously gay for anyone who can’t openly listen to gay stuff on their public accounts for whatever reason) so feel free to skip the massive essay and just jump straight to that. And pretty please repost if I missed anyone/ any songs you love.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7KB6PmUxnpkU7lih8Bysvw

Artists To Follow:

Chely Wright

- Right off the bat, Chely Wright is a legend and I’m in love with her. So, in the 90′s Chely Wright was kind of a huge deal. She started her career as a singer/songwriter and released her first album in ‘94, which was critically acclaimed although never reached the commercial success of her later works. By ‘97 she was really hitting her stride, dropping her breakout hit “Shut up and Drive” (a personal favourite of mine) followed two years later by the biggest hit of her career “Single White Female”. Throughout all that Chely Wright was, to the world, a good old fashioned, heterosexual southern gal. Privately it was a bit of a different story. She had public relationships with male country artists, all while pursuing a secret decade long relationship with a woman.

I hadn’t ever really heard a Chely Wright song until a few years ago so I never knew about her music or career pre-coming out but I do know that even though by the time she came out in 2010 she was by no means at the height of her fame Chely Wright is kind of one of the biggest names in country music to be out and proud (in my opinion) and I love her like an insane amount. I literally play her music in my car when I have passengers just so I can be like “fun fact this singer is actually gay-” and then subject them to a lengthy explanation of her entire career. She came out with an album and a memoir and the album is my favourite of her work because it’s so fucking raw and because I relate to most of it immensely. Anyways Chely Wright went fucking through it in her journey to being her authentic self and now she’s out and proud and married to a woman and they have a family together and I’m a fucking sucker for a happy ending and y’all should add her to every playlist you have. And on top of that her music is genuinely good. Coming out undoubtedly damaged her career but I think that

Brandi Carlile

- As far as I can tell Brandi Carlile has been out her whole career. I feel like this list is just going to be me saying “I’m in love with her” about a bunch of women old enough to be my mother but in my defence, I am honestly in love with her. She’s been making music since she was like, seventeen, and has had a bunch of massive hits, as a singer, songwriter, and producer. If you want to cry kind of happy tears listen to her performance of “Bring my Flowers Now” with Tanya Tucker. She’s won Grammy’s and CMT awards and she’s done it all as an out Queer woman. She’s also a founding member of The Highwomen, an all-female country music group who released their first album in 2019, comprised of Carlile, Marren Morris, Natalie Hemby and Amanda Shires. I really love this band because they’re four artists who are immensely successfully in their own right collabing, much like the Highwaymen, and their music is phenomenal while also being a fuck you to mainstream country music and their inability to properly represent women in country music spaces.

She’s been married to a woman (smoking hot and also brilliant) since 2012 and they have two kids together and if you want to cry (again) then you have to listen to her song “Mother” about her eldest daughter. A queer country artist absolutely worth adding to all your playlists.

Brooke Eden

- As I understand it Eden came out publicly in January of this year. She’s engaged to Hilary Hoover, who she’s been dating since 2015 apparently. I can’t even imagine the pressure that must be on a person and how stressful it would be to keep a relationship secret from the whole world for years and personally I think they’re a cute as hell couple and I wish them literally all the happiness in the world.

Brooke Eden has a few older songs that I think are really good, my favourite being “Act Like You Don’t”, and while her new stuff isn’t my usual country vibe I am a sucker for literally anything gay and it is legally my gay duty to stream any song that she releases to support my fellow queer. It’s quite different to anything Wright or Carlile sing but I actually kind of love that because it shows that country music of all different shapes and sizes and styles can be sung by queer artists.

Amythyst Kiah

- Okay so I am a very new listener to Amythyst Kiah, but her music is literally so beautiful it would be a straight up sin to not include her on this list. Her music is country-blues-roots esq (more roots than country, I think?) and her voice is so unique. She grew up in Chattanooga and has been playing music since childhood. She recently made her Opry debut which is fucking awesome. She also belongs to a band called Our Native Daughters, described as “A supergroup of Black women in traditional music”. Their debut album “Songs of Our Native Daughters” did numbers and I haven’t listened to the whole thing but my favourite so far are “Black Myself” and “I Knew I Could Fly” so y’all add that to your playlists along with “Wild Turkey” by Amythyst Kiah because holy hell her voice on that will blow your mind.

Steve Grand

- The first man to make this list, he should frankly be honoured. Grand has been an out and proud gay man making country music since like 2013, and I have so much respect for an artist who chose to simply never be in, choosing instead to simply write gay ass songs about being in love with men and letting the chips fall where they man. His music is always going to have a special place in my heart and, he’s cute so if you’re into men and music by men give him a google. add him to your playlists, his All-American Boy album is literally just a dozen songs that are perfect to yell-sing along to.

Katie Pruitt

- Not hugely knowledgeable on Katie Pruitt but her music makes me feel crazy intense emotions and is absolutely gay

Honorable Mention Artists I haven’t Really Listened to But Who I Know to be gay thanks to google and might be your thing so totally check them out:

Brandy Clark

Ty Herndon

Shelly Fairchild

Lavendar Country

Trixie Mattel

Cameron Hawthorn

Drop any other names of artists or songs you know of

Specific Songs That Make Me Fucking Cry or (in good and bad ways (but always in a gay way)) or basically are just gay as hell:

If She Ever Leaves Me; The Highwomen

- So, this album came out about a week before my first (and only) girlfriend broke up with me. The general gist of the song is a woman singing about how her loved isn’t ever going to leave her but if she does it sure as hell won’t be for a creepy man in a bar. A little ironic that I felt I related to it so intensely, considering she did in fact leave me. There’s this one lyric that goes “I’ve loved her in secret/I’ve lover here out loud/the sky hasn’t always been blue” and my girlfriend and I were crazy deep in the closet so I drew her a cute little picture of a grey cloud and on the back I wrote that lyric and I gave it to her and to me it was kind of a promise that one day I’d get a chance to love her out loud and even though I never actually did this song is forever going to make me cry because of the little bit of hope that lyric gave me and the way it’s inclusion on this overwhelmingly mainstream country album made me feel like acceptance was just that little bit closer.

All American Boy; Steve Grand

- Definitely one of the first gay country songs I ever heard, and Steve Grand didn’t once sacrifice a scrap of country for the gay. It’s beautiful, it’s a little sad, it’s hopeful. It’s forever going to hold a special place in my heart and the music videos is kind of one of my favourites ever. I found this song before I found myself and the way it made my heart warm should have been a stronger sign than I took it to be.

Like Me; Chely Wright

- When you love someone you kind of make it your mission to know them in a way that no one else can. This song by Chely Wright is sort of an ode to that, and how even once you lost someone, you’re still going to know every little thing about them. On top of that it sort of speaks to the idea that all these things Wright learned about this woman, she learned in secret and she knew her and loved her in secret and now that they’re gone from each other she’s left with all of this knowledge and all of these questions and no one to answer them. I love the way it’s so slow and the melody and her voice, the way it’s low and a little raspy, make this one of my favourite Chely Wright songs.

The Mother; Brandi Carlile

- Sorry but a song about being a mother by a queer woman is going to make me cry every time and actually I’m not that sorry. It’s quite a simple song, if any song written by Brandi Carlile can ever be described as ‘simple’, it’s an ode to her daughter. My favourite line is “you are not an accident/where no one thought it through” because it speaks to the fact that in order for queer women to have a kid together they have to want it so damn bad and also I just like the way her voice sounds on that line. This song is also the perfect thing to listen to if you ever for a second feel like being gay/queer is going to stand in the way of you having a family because it absolutely doesn’t have to and if that’s something you want, you can have it. Don’t let people try and convince you otherwise.

Loving Her; Katie Pruitt

- Unapologetic gay love. Opening a song with “If loving hers a sin, I don’t wanna go to heaven” is a fucking baller move and she went there. The lyrics are beautiful, and her voice is phenomenal. It could be a sad song, about confronting religious repression and grappling with what that means for your love, but instead its triumphant. Katie Pruitt doesn’t give a fuck if you have a problem because she’s going to write songs for her lover.

Jesus From Texas; Semler

- Not actually totally sure this is a country song, but it has the words ‘Jesus’ and ‘Texas’ in the title so I feel safe including it in this list. Honestly, I don’t really know why I relate so hard to this song. Like, I wasn’t really raised with religion, so I don’t know what it is about this funky little tune that makes me want to sob but there’s something about this tune that makes me want to do whatever the opposite of get up and dance is, but like, in a good way.

Lovin’ Again; Steve Grand

- Breakup song that ends kind of positively? So good to sing along to at high, high volumes. The idea that losing someone doesn’t have to mean losing yourself and just because you can’t love them doesn’t mean you’re not ever going to love again. But also kind of about how it’s hard to get over someone, I don’t know it’s just good.

Cryin’ These Cocksucking Tears; Lavender Country

- Jesus christ if this isn’t the coolest shit I’ve ever heard in my life. Sorry but a gay country group formed in 1972 who dropped possibly the first gay themed country album, and this was the title of one of the songs. God I am in love.

Songs that (to me) are a little fruity or that I just relate to in a gay way:

Picket Fences; Chely Wright

- Chely Wright is gay but this song came out long before she did and when she wrote it, it wasn’t supposed to be gay which is why it’s in this section and not the previous. The reason it’s included at all is because frankly ma’am, Mrs Wright, it’s a little fruity. And I feel a little bad for joking because honestly to me, the way I hear this song and knowing the context (that Wright was deeply closeted at the time she wrote and released it), it’s kind of just sad. The general gist of the song is Wright asking what’s so great about a traditional lifestyle anyways. It could be read as a woman genuinely questioning why we push that expectation that she’ll have two kids and a husband and a picket fence lifestyle, or even could be read as a woman who’s trying to deflect how much she does in fact want that, you have to listen and form your own opinion. But to me, it feels like a woman who’s desperately trying to justify why she doesn’t want that life not because she can’t have it, but she knows it will never be right for her. I don’t know it’s hard to explain I just feel like this song is a little bit gay even though I’m sure she didn’t intend that.

Sinning with You; Sam Hunt

- Sorry but this song is gay. Sorry but you can’t write the lines “I never felt like I was sinning with you/Always felt like I could talk to God in the morning” and “if it’s so wrong why did it feel so right” and “But I never felt shame, never felt sorry/Never felt guilty touching your body” and not to mention the opening line of “raised in the first pew/praises for yeshua/case of a small town repression”, and expect to not sit in my car sobbing as I realised that while I never felt like what we did was a sin she absolutely did, and wishing I could have told her that I was sorry for making her carry the weight of both our souls but also that it wasn’t a sin and nothing in the world could feel that good and be that bad and it isn’t right that she had to be so ashamed of something that was just so good. Sam Hunt actually said after he wrote the song that while it was reflection on his own relationship with faith he genuinely hopes that people in the lgbtq community can like find comfort or whatever in his words and like go off king, we stan an ally.

How do I Get There; Deana Carter

- This ones easy, it’s about falling in love with your best friend and suddenly realising you want more than just friendship with them. Sorry Deana, that’s gay. In my Deana Carter of like Year 10 I played this song on repeat and screamed along to the lyrics as though singing it hard enough would make her like me back.

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obsidianfr3sk · 3 years ago

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Shooting Star

@renegades-ship-weeks - Renegades Ship Week #1 | Humon - Dancing

Summary: Maybe it was the fact that Simon wasn’t aware of Max’s weird tendency to sleep when they played upbeat songs. Or maybe that he had never heard that song. He had seen him dancing at public events, with him or with other members of the Council. He had also seen him dancing during their wedding day, and he was dancing with him. But he hadn’t seen him dancing like that before.

AO3

SKDJFJHDSJ IT’S TODAY, IT’S TODAY SDKFJHJDSK TODAY THE RENEGADES SHIP WEEK STARTS TODAY AND WHAT BETTER WAY TO START IT WITH SOME RENEGAYS CONTENT <3

Ok, so this... is kind of a songfic (? I thought the format fitted the prompt better. The song I choose for this is Shooting Star by Owl City (thank you, Dawnie, for letting me know about its existance uwu). I’d recommend you hear the song before reading this or when the dancing scene arrives (you’ll know, don’t worry).

None of this would be possible without the help of the amazing @greasicookies. Thanks for hosting this event✨ I don’t know if there has been another thing like this before, but this is actually my first ship weeks in this fandom and I’m so exited!! I hope we can get a lot more! And for those who are still thinking about participating or not, go for it c:

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoy!✨

Tag list: @honey-hippie-harper @healing-winston-pratt @lackadae @the-wee-woo-rita @dt-everwoods @greenalmond

When the sun goes down and the lights burn out,

then it's time for you to shine

brighter than a shooting star.

So shine no matter where you are.

Enough time had passed for him to forget the first time he danced with Hugh.

It was one of the downsides of knowing someone for a long time. The first time they probably danced together was to some tune they heard on the radio in the living room of one of their houses, the park, or the street, but it happened when he was so young, that now, Simon couldn’t remember what song it was, if the sky was blue that day, or how the concept of dancing looked like for them at that age.

But one of the advantages of knowing someone for a long time was that you were constantly making memories with them. So, for him, the first time he really danced with Hugh, was during their wedding day. And it was beautiful and romantic, and if he could live inside a moment for the rest of his existence, it would be that one.

And he didn’t even feel embarrassed while he was doing it.

Not that he was embarrassed to dance with his husband in public. It was something he had… thought about. That maybe there was still someone inside of him that was constantly telling him he was wrong, that his feelings were wrong, and that everything that Hugh represented was also wrong, and since he was thinking about that stuff in the middle of the night, he woke up Hugh to tell him that he loved him (to which Hugh responded, “Okay. I don't love it when you wake me up though.")

The next day, Adrian was invited to a birthday party. He was super excited because it was the first birthday party he attended after the Age of Anarchy. Adrian hadn’t looked that happy in months, and even though Simon didn’t feel like going, he did, just so he could share that little moment of happiness with his son. The three of them walked down the street to the house where the party was being hosted, and it didn’t take long for Adrian to join the other kids.

Hugh and Simon sat down at an empty table. They didn’t mind being the only ones there because, at least, they could talk to each other. Although, now that Simon remembered, they were, like, a feet apart from each other, and that morning, after he got out of the shower, he saw Hugh standing in front of the mirror while wearing a random shirt.

As soon as he walked into the room, he asked him:

“Do you think this shirt looks too… gay?”

And Simon just said:

“Love. Everything you wear looks gay.”

He ended up wearing another shirt anyway. And khakis.

Yeah.

Luckily, it was a one-time thing.

At that moment, he was feeling a little bit awkward because they didn’t know anybody at that party, but everyone else seemed to know each other. Simon was pretty sure that the only reason they weren’t actively trying to talk to them was that they weren’t sure if they could, not because those suburban mothers and their husbands were hate-criming them or something.

They definitely weren’t hate-criming them. And he wasn’t being sarcastic. Simon was also wearing khakis that day, plus a purple polo, so they ended up looking like a couple of straight friends who decided to adopt a kid to strengthen their friendship or something.

He was eating a brownie he had gotten from the candy bar when they both received a message from Kasumi about something that was going on at Headquarters and that she needed one of them to be there (adding “pretty please” at the end of the sentence so it didn’t sound too harsh).

They looked at each other and Hugh raised an eyebrow.

“Do you want me to go?”

Simon shrugged. “I can go if you want to.”

“No, I’ll go. You stay with Adrian. Let me say goodbye to him.”

Adrian got out of the trampoline as soon as he heard his name. Hugh explained the situation to him, but then assured him that they would see each other at the house, and then Adrian asked him if he wanted him to save some cake for him. He smiled, told him that would be nice, and kissed his forehead before going with the mom that was hosting the party to thank her for inviting them (only because Simon told him he had to, since he had seen enough movies to know that if he didn’t, those evil white mothers would hate them for the rest of their lives and wouldn’t let their kids play with theirs).

Adrian returned to the trampoline soon after that, and since Hugh hadn’t finished his brownie, Simon didn’t see why he couldn’t do it for him. He stayed there, doing his best not to think about all the things others may be saying about him for sitting at a table all by himself and fighting against his instinct to disappear.

Which he ended up doing when he heard some kid saying “ Pops ” right next to him.

It took him longer to realize that kid was Adrian and he was talking to him.

They stared at each other for a while before Simon said, “What’s wrong, darling?”

Adrian was smiling. There wasn’t anything wrong with him. “Can you enter the competition with me?”

But when he looked at where his kid was pointing, he realized there was something very wrong with that competition.

First of all, the judge was a clown that had been going around the party giving balloon animals and doing typical clown stuff with the kids, and he didn’t know why, but Simon had always had an irrational… not fear, but distrust towards clowns. Maybe it was because when he went to his first birthday party at the age of four, his animal balloon popped after just a few seconds of having him, and the clown, being completely done with him, gave him another and told him: “Don’t be gay, kiddo�� , in a really rude and condescending tone (but who knows.)

Then, it was a dancing competition.

Dancing .

In front of another fifteen kids and their parents.

And Simon wanted to say no because he knew he didn’t have to do anything that would make him feel uncomfortable in any way…

But he ended up saying yes. Because he wanted to see Adrian happy, and he knew Adrian would be happy if they participated in the competition.

So he just nodded and let him guide him to the center of the dancefloor, which was only a small portion of the garden that was covered in gravel. Then, Adrian extended his hands towards him, Simon grabbed them and waited until the music started to play.

It wasn’t… that bad. Honestly, Simon has done more embarrassing things during his lifetime. For example, when Queen Bee punched him during a fight while she was wearing not one, but three rings, and she started to laugh as soon as she saw the first tears running down his face. Simon turned invisible so no one could see him, but it was already too late and everyone there already knew Dread Warden was crying like a little kid because a lady had punched him a little too hard.

And no one was laughing at him for that (except Queen Bee because, as his enemy, that was her job), but he felt like every single one of those people, who were more busy trying to escape the bees that were buzzing around during the fight, were actually paying enough attention to him to laugh at his tears. So that's why, that afternoon, while Adrian was having the time of his life trying to win that competition with his dad, he could only think that bunch of seven-year-olds was making fun of him (the same way those four-year-old made fun of him when the clown called him gay).

It felt like a lot. And they didn't win, but as soon as they got eliminated, he waited for Adrian to go back with the other kids, turned invisible, made his way to the bathroom, and proceeded to puke his guts out as soon as he kneeled in front of the toilet. He spent a good ten minutes waiting for the panic attack to pass before deciding he could go back to the party as nothing had happened.

The first thing he saw after returning to the backyard, was Adrian looking around, totally lost in that sea of people. And as soon as he noticed Simon was there, he let go of the balloon animal he was holding, and just ran towards him and hugged him tightly by the waist.

Simon immediately hugged him back.

A little confused. But he didn't hesitate to hug him back.

“Pops… I'm feeling sick” Adrian mumbled.

“You're feeling sick?” he nodded slightly. That was his chance. “You know, I'm feeling a little bit sick too. What if we… just— go home?”

Adrian was super on board with that idea and didn't let go of Simon while he did his best to look normal while he said goodbye to the birthday boy and his parents. They had served the cake while he was gone, so the mom gave him four pieces inside a small plastic container, which only meant he was going to go back to that house to return it to her.

When they arrived at the house, Adrian grabbed him by the waist again and he refused to let him go, even after Simon kindly asked him to do it so he could make some tea for the two of them (because, for what Adrian told him while they were in the car, he was dizzy and had a stomach ache). But Adrian grabbed him tighter, so Simon had to be extra careful while making the chamomile tea because he was terrified of burning his kid with the boiling water. Then, he put both cups in a small tray and slowly walked to the living room, where he put it on the coffee table and sat down with Adrian on the couch.

Adrian grabbed his cup (that was shaped like an orange and had a smiley face) and Simon realized it was the first time he drank tea with him.

“Be careful, darling.”

“I will…”

And while he saw him sipping his tea, he just knew he had to ask him.

“Adrian— did something happen while I was gone?” he whispered. Adrian didn’t turn to see him. “Did— the kids laugh at you? Did someone there make you feel… bad? You can tell me.”

Adrian continued sipping his tea a little bit before putting it back on the tray. After that, he finally looked him in the eye, opened his mouth to answer, and—

He started crying.

When he finally managed to calm down a little, he explained to him that he got scared when he went to the table to ask him if he wanted cake too because he thought something bad had happened to him.

Adrian— well, he thought that Simon had died.

And it broke his heart because it wasn’t like Adrian didn’t have a completely valid reason to believe that.

So they stayed there, on the couch, hugging each other, until Adrian stopped crying and told him he wanted to go play with his toys.

His tea was already cold by then. But Adrian had finished his’, so that was a good thing. He knew chamomile tea helped to reduce anxiety levels.

It didn’t help him though.

Hugh called Simon to tell him he was going to stay at Headquarters the rest of the day and Adrian suddenly developed supernatural hearing because he was able to hear his dad’s voice from the other side of the house. He asked Simon to pass him the phone and stayed a couple of minutes talking with Hugh, telling him about how awesome the party had been and that he wanted to see him again soon.

Then, the rest of the day went as normal. Except that, occasionally, Adrian left what he was doing and went to where Simon was. Just... to make sure he was still there, he guessed.

At least he wasn’t saying anything about the fact of Hugh not being there with them. Because Adrian only had two moods when it came to the relationship with his dads, and one of them was “If I don’t see you and my daddy in this exact moment, right in front of me, I’m literally gonna cry and scream until I explode” , and it would have been a little bit difficult to deal with that at the moment.

He didn’t say anything when he put on his pajamas and went upstairs to wait for Simon to finish his chores so they could go to bed together. It took him a little bit longer than he expected because he was organizing the fridge (he spent like forty minutes trying to remember the very specific organization system Hugh had implemented the first minute they moved to that house), but he eventually did and when he entered the room, Adrian was already falling asleep.

So he kissed him goodnight and tried to sleep too.

He was about to do it when Hugh opened the bedroom’s door.

Instead of saying “I’m home” , “Hi, love” , or even asking “What’s the kid doing here?” , he greeted him with:

“Did you clean the fridge?”

And Simon immediately knew he had messed up the organization system.

“Yes, I did. It smelled like eggs.”

“The cheese goes next to the eggs. Animal products go together.”

He didn’t sound mad.

He sounded condescending, but he kind of knew he didn’t mean to.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he answered.

He heard him taking his uniform off before putting on normal clothes, and he laid next to Adrian. He slightly opened his eyes and a small smile appeared on his face; then he rolled over and got closer to him.

They waited for Adrian to fall asleep again before they started talking about their days.

“So, yeah,” Simon said after finishing the tale of how he had a panic attack so violent that he ended up puking in a very elegant and suburban bathroom at a stranger’s house. “I think dancing is not my thing.”

“Dancing sucks,” Hugh said. Adrian was drooling a little bit on his shirt, but either he didn't notice or he just didn't care. “I have never had… a panic attack over that, but… I don’t like it. It feels unnatural. And I’m not very good at it anyway.”

“You don’t like doing things you’re not good at.”

“Not gonna lie, it kind of hurts my ego.”

Simon snorted and Hugh smiled a little bit.

A day after that, Adrian asked Simon if they could go eat at that fast food restaurant they had passed by last week when they were going to Headquarters. He agreed and the three of them went to the exact place Adrian said. It was located in a… “not very nice zone” and apparently, all the parents of the city had decided to bring their kids there too, which meant it was loud and messy, and those employees were obviously overworked.

Hugh and he would have turned around as soon as they saw the state of the place, but Adrian was in a weird mood, and it was Simon’s turn to make dinner, something he didn’t feel like doing. So he told Hugh to pick something at random (after he spent a whole minute looking at the options) and order a combo with a toy for Adrian, plus twenty nuggets that Simon was not willing to share with any members of his family.

Adrian’s order arrived first. He had already finished his burguer when his dads got their meals, and he announced to them (because he wasn't going to ask for permission) that he was going to go play at the playground. Hugh told him to be careful, but Adrian practically ignored him and took off before he could even finish saying “... and don’t you dare take off your socks while you’re inside that thing”.

Simon started to play with Adrian’s toy (a cheap action figure of a random white man that wore a green jacket and was winking at him) while Hugh saw through the glass that separated them from the playground area, probably making sure Adrian didn’t get hurt or took off his socks, which in his head, would have been worse.

When Hugh was finally able to calm down, he turned to see Simon.

“So— you really eat those twenty nuggets by yourself.”

“Nineteen,” Simon corrected. “This—” he showed the nugget to him “—is the last one. Do you want it?”

He had his own nuggets and a cheeseburger he hadn’t finished yet. “Only if you don’t want it.”

“Nah. I do want it,” he answered. “I was just trying to be nice.”

Simon put the nugget inside his mouth and while he was chewing it, he realized Hugh was staring at him, but he couldn’t figure out why until he blurted out:

“I'm sorry I wasn't there for you during the party.”

He wasn’t expecting that.

“Oh—” he took a sip of his soda “—Don’t worry. You didn’t know.”

“Next time call me. So I can help you.”

And he promised himself (and Hugh) he would do it by taking his hand under the table and nodding, before resting his head on his shoulder.

“Do you think I shouldn’t have eaten those twenty nuggets?” he asked after a while.

“Not all at,” Hugh assured him. “Actually, it was very sexy of you.”

“I feel very sexy right now, not gonna lie.”

“Good. Because I think you should kiss me. If you’re in the mood for that.”

Simon was in the mood for that. He first kissed Hugh’s cheek, but he thought it wasn’t enough, so he decided to go for his lips. He wasn’t able to stop when he felt Hugh’s putting his hand on his knee, and before they could start making out in the middle of a restaurant as if they were a couple of straight teenagers, he heard a pitched voice say “Ew!”, which immediately made them break the kiss and go into fight mode, ready to be kicked out and banned from ever coming back there.

But it was only Adrian.

“Ew, pops, don’t do that,” he kept saying. “Why are you kissing him?”

“Because he’s my husband, Adrian. And your dad.”

Adrian crossed his arms and frowned.

“Well, I don’t like it—” he extended his hand “—Can I have some ice cream, pops?”

“You didn’t finish your fries, son,” Hugh pointed out. But he didn’t listen to him, again, and asked Simon once more if he could have some ice cream, making a lot of emphasis when he pronounced “pops” .

And there it was, Adrian’s second mood: “I only love you, pops, and if someone gives me enough candy bars, I would throw Captain Chromium down the stairs.”

A year has gone by since then. Therapy and meds had helped him a lot so he had never needed to call him during a panic attack, mostly because when that happened, someone was always willing to help him. For example, one time Tamaya and Simon went to a departmental store during their lunch break because she wanted to buy a bag of eggnog gummies that were only sold there, and Adrian decided to join them. There, Simon turned around for a quick second to check a mirror that would look amazing at their house before realizing that his kid had disappeared. He could see Tamaya looking at some little bird statues that they sold there (being extra careful as to not hit anything with her wings), but Adrian was nowhere to be seen. So obviously he started this frenetic search for him, which lasted, like, five minutes, because Tamaya eventually found Simon, and told him that Adrian had been with her the whole time, just that he was too short for Simon to notice him. They had to go to the restroom and Tamaya grabbed Simon’s and Adrian’s hands while they both calmed down, telling them from time to time that everything was all right (but deep down, Simon knew it really wasn’t; they were in the ladies restroom and there was a mother with his kid that looked at them in a weird way).

Tamaya must have told Kasumi about the whole thing because she taught him a few strategies she had learned to control her own panic attacks. She had been going to therapy too but read a few books about spirituality and meditation, not because she was super into it, but because she thought some concepts were interesting. One time, Evander was the only one there and since empathy wasn’t his strong suit, the only thing he kept saying was “Breathe, Simon, breathe, for fuck’s sake”. He wasn’t yelling, but he wasn’t being nice either, and honestly, that attitude only worsened Simon’s state; he even began to scream that he needed to go to the hospital because he thought he was dying, and Evander began to panic too because he had never been alone when Simon was in that state. Eventually, Simon remembered the promise he made and tried to reach for his phone while mumbling something about calling Hugh, but Evander told him not to worry about it, that he was going to call him.

And Evander, instead of grabbing his phone and doing that, opened the door, and after making sure no one else was there, he yelled:

“HUGH, SIMON NEEDS TO TALK TO YOU!”

Hugh was there in a matter of seconds.

Most of the time, he was there in a matter of seconds.

He kind of knew that if he ever needed the same kind of help, Hugh was going to call him but he never did. Not until a couple of months ago.

They were at a Women’s Day event. There was a group of dancers that was going to do a kind of opening number; a performance in honor of the victims of femicide. Tamaya was going to give a speech about the issue and how that day wasn’t of celebration, but of reflection and remembrance. Kasumi was hugging her ukulele case (she was going to perform a song she had written during the Age of Anarchy, which she refused to show the rest of the team), Evander was reading a pamphlet someone had given him, and Simon was holding Hugh’s hand, trying to hide the fact they weren’t doing much.

Suddenly, Hugh asked him: “Why is it so hot in here?”

They were at Cosmopolis Park and it was March. He didn’t feel it was that hot to be honest.

Evander turned to see them and smirked. “I’m sorry.”

Kasumi rolled her eyes and Tamaya hit him in the back of the head, without even bothering to take her eyes away from her notes.

Hugh didn’t think it was funny. “I’m being serious— It’s really hot.”

“Change into your civilian clothes after the inauguration,” Kasumi said.

The five of them were wearing their uniforms. Tamaya had a purple kerchief (that represented the feminist movement) around her wrist and Kasumi had a green one (that represented the fight for reproductive rights). Evander and Simon had talked about changing their clothes and put on the gray t-shirts the male members of patrol units were wearing. Only the female members were wearing their full uniforms because when the sun started to go down, there was going to be a march and they were going to be the ones protecting the people there. Tamaya and Kasumi had told them that the feminist organizations they were in contact with had told them they didn’t want any male patrol units during the march, but said that if Hugh, Simon, Evander, or Adrian wanted to go, they could. Simon was the only one who told them he accepted, Hugh and Evander remained quiet, and he wasn’t even sure if Adrian was aware of the situation, since he had decided to stay at Headquarters with Prism.

But Simon was about to tell Hugh about what Evander and he were going to do when Hugh said: “ No .”

Because he was working. And when he was working, he had to wear his superhero suit.

Tamaya and Kasumi had more important matters to attend to, so they dismissed Hugh and continued with their plans. The leader of the dance group told them they were ready, and the five of them walked to the stage. Instead of being the first one to talk (like he did at every event) Hugh stayed back and allowed Tamaya to do her thing.

He didn't seem like he wanted to do a lot of talking anyways. Simon could tell that pretending he wasn't uncomfortable wearing his suit that day was taking a lot of his energy, and he even began to think his husband was going to faint in front of all the cameras (but it was probably just his anxiety talking, like always).

When Tamaya finished, they watched the whole performance with the rest of the public. The dancers were wearing black clothes and purple kerchiefs, but six of them had white dresses with red paint that pretended to be blood. They danced while other women in the background sang the song and played some drums. At the end of the performance, a little girl entered the stage and yelled: “Justice for Lady I!” , before letting go of the six balloons she was holding.

Simon clapped until his hands were numb.

And until he realized Hugh was gone.

“Where is he?” Simon asked Tamaya.

She knew exactly what he was talking about.

“In the middle of the performance, he told me he wanted to go somewhere else,” she said.

Then she went quiet again. So Simon added: “Did he tell you where he was going to be?”

“I didn't ask him. I just said 'Elope, bitch' . And he did.”

Simon started to look for him in the crowd until he felt his phone vibrating on his pants. He didn't see who was calling but, for some reason, he knew it was Hugh.

“Hello?”

The other side of the line remained quiet.

For a second, Simon's imagination started to run wild and he was already imagining a scenario where someone had kidnaped Hugh (somehow) and he wasn't able to talk because if he did, they were going to hurt him or someone else. But then, he saw him in the distance, near some trees and a little bit far away from the event, and Simon walked towards him. Without hanging up the phone, just in case.

He only did it when he was right next to him.

Hugh didn't say anything for a long time. And Simon didn't, either, mainly because he was waiting for the answer to his question of “Is there anything I can do for you?” , an answer that never arrived.

Then, he proved with:

“Did you see the whole performance?”

Hugh turned to see him. They were both sitting under a tree, gazing at the distance.

He said, with a monotone voice and an emotionless expression:

“I will never understand contemporary dance.”

After a couple of minutes, he asked him if they could go back home ( home ; not the Headquarters) and Simon accepted. Hugh went the whole way without talking to him, massaging his temple, and when he asked him if there was something wrong, he told him he had a headache, but in a very… weird way.

He was irritable. To say the least. So Simon decided that the best thing he could do at that moment was to not intervene and just keep driving.

Hugh went upstairs and locked himself in their room, while Simon waited for Prism to take Adrian back home before the march started so she could go join them. He managed to keep Adrian downstairs so he didn't go and bother his other dad. It wasn't until 11 PM, when Adrian was already asleep and Kasumi told him the march had ended, that he decided to go check on Hugh.

It was pretty late but the TV was on and he was completely awake.

It didn’t surprise him at all.

“Are you feeling better?”

But instead of answering, he asked back: “How are you feeling?”

“Fine. I just— I stayed downstairs. I guessed you didn’t want to be bothered.” Simon tried to recognize the show that was on, but couldn’t. “What are you watching?”

He sat down on the mattress and Hugh got closer to him. Simon took it as a sign he wanted to cuddle, so he laid next to him and rested his head on his chest.

“You know what other thing I will never understand?”

Contemporary dance.

“What?”

“People who go out with their partners to take dance classes. And dance competitions.”

“Everything that has to do with dancing, then.” He nodded. “Don’t worry. After the clown thing, I’ve hated anything that has to do with dancing too.”

“It’s too… complicated.”

“Yes.”

“You need a lot of coordination”

“You do.”

“And people are looking at you.”

“They definitely are.”

Hugh smiled a little bit. “No, they’re not. Don’t be silly. People don’t care.”

After that, Simon could at least be sure that Hugh would never take him to dance classes or make him enter dance competitions. It just… wasn’t their thing.

Maybe, their thing was to stay at Headquarters until very late at night, finishing their paperwork, with the rest of the Council.

Like they had been doing the last couple of hours.

Tamaya had been the first one to go home. Her husband had called her and said that her kid didn’t want to go to sleep if his mom wasn’t there to read him a bedtime story. Hugh said that Evander could finish her share of the paperwork and before he could refuse, she answered: “Well, thank you very much, Blacklight” and left. After that, Evander spent a good entire minutes bitching about how Hugh couldn’t just give him more responsibilities just because, to which Hugh responded “Yes, I can” , and Kasumi had to tell both of them to stop because Adrian was there. According to her, if they started to yell curse words to each other, he was going to start repeating the same words every time he was angry and kids weren’t supposed to swear (even though she was ten when Simon heard her say “Oh, fuck” for the first time).

After Evander and Kasumi finished their respective share of the paperwork (plus Tamaya’s) they decided they were going to spend the night there because it was already too late. Simon and Hugh were distracted for a little while, discussing something related to what they were doing, when suddenly, Kasumi and Evander were already inflating a mattress with a pump they had taken out of nowhere. When they asked them where they got those things, Evander just answered they hadn’t revealed all their secrets yet.

Suddenly, the air pump broke at the same time the crayon Adrian was using to color a couple of butterflies did, and Kasumi and he whispered, at the same time:

“Oh, fuck.”

Simon thought everyone was going to die of laughter right there. Everyone except Kasumi. She was going to die of embarrassment.

After she apologized to Adrian for swearing in front of him, Evander got a couple of blankets for them to put on the mattress so it was a little bit more comfortable for them. They asked Adrian if he wanted to sleep with them, but Adrian said he wasn’t sleepy yet. Still, Kasumi told Evander to leave a small space for Adrian in case he changed his mind.

They fell asleep almost immediately.

And soon after that, the baby monitor Simon carried around practically everywhere let them know that Max had woken up and was crying.

“Hugh—”

“Yes, I’ll go. Wait here.” He got closer to the door, but then he turned around to see Adrian, who was still drawing. “When I’m back, you better be asleep, Sketch.”

Adrian rolled his eyes and growled, but instead of getting angry or something, Hugh laughed and left.

Five minutes went by.

Then, fifteen.

Then, half an hour.

Forty minutes.

An hour.

Simon felt his eyes were burning and his whole body felt like it didn’t belong to him. Luckily all the paperwork was gone now, and Adrian was holding the baby monitor in his small hands.

Max wasn’t crying anymore, but he could hear Hugh’s voice, although he couldn’t understand exactly what he was saying.

“What’s going on?” he asked Adrian.

Adrian looked more tired than before, but not that much. They definitely were messing up his sleeping schedule. “Daddy has been trying to put Max in his crib a couple of times but when he tries to leave he starts crying again.”

Simon nodded and tried not to think about it.

He really tried not to think about it.

“Pops,” Adrian called him. “I’m tired. I wanna go to bed.”

Finally.

“Well—” and an idea popped into his head “—let’s go with your daddy and Max to tell them we’re leaving. So you can say goodnight to them too.”

Adrian agreed to do that and being extra careful as not to disturb Evander and Kasumi, they walked through the practically empty corridors, holding hands and feeling like ghosts in an abandoned building (although he knew it was not abandoned, there were some people still there, just not in that area specifically).

They arrived at Max’s quarantine area and all the lights were out. It took him more than a second to notice Hugh sitting on the floor, in the middle of the room, barefoot and only wearing his undershirt and his blue leggings. He was holding Max close to his chest and had an empty bottle in his left hand.

He looked done. He looked so freaking done, but Max, on the other hand, looked very pleased with himself, sucking on his pacifier and with his brown eyes wide open.

Simon tried to hide his laugh. “What happened you guys?”

“Ask your kid,” Hugh answered. “He started it.”

“Just leave him in the crib,” Adrian said, a little bit impatient.

Hugh stood up, walked towards the crib, and, without taking his eyes away from Adrian, he put Max there. And Max, obviously, began to scream so loud that Adrian covered his ears.

“I can’t,” Hugh said. He hugged his baby once more and his screams turned into really quiet sobs. “He’s being a real Westwood right now.”

Simon pretended not to be offended by that joke (a joke Adrian was too young to understand and too tired to care about.)

He put his hands on his kid’s shoulders. “Adrian wants to go to bed,” he told Hugh. “And honestly, me too.”

“And I would love to join you,” Hugh said, “but, you know… your baby is holding me hostage. The Westwood genes—”

“Captain—”

“Okay, don’t get mad.” He pulled Max closer to him. “He won’t close his eyes. And I’ve already tried almost everything.”

Adrian bumped his head against the glass and Simon imitated him. If Hugh hadn’t been holding Max, he would probably do that too.

When looked up again, he wanted to wish him good luck with the Max thing and that he should ask Evander and Kasumi before getting in their improvised bed (if he didn't want to sleep on the floor and preferred something a little bit more comfortable) (although he suspected Evander was going to get all defensive and Hugh was going to have to sleep in the floor anyways.) But he couldn't because the first thing he noticed was that the room was covered in a dark blue light that came out of a small sphere that was one of Max's night lights.

Hugh didn't notice Simon's confusion.

“Love, don't you think that's going to have an opposite effect?” he asked him, doing his best not to sound too… rude.

“No, not at all,” Hugh answered. “He likes it. I don't know if it's the colors or what but he likes it.”

“Good, but the point it's for him to fall asleep,” he insisted. “Not if he likes it or not.”

But he pretended as if he hadn't listened to him and turned on the other night light.

Immediately, the room was filled with yellow stars that contrasted with the blue veil that filled their vision.

At that moment, Simon realized Max was looking at him. He smiled at him, his baby smiled back, and then hid his face on his dad's chest. Then, Simon turned invisible, and when Max looked at him again, he reappeared, making him giggle.

And he hid his face again.

It was a game they constantly played when he was visiting him. And he hoped they would never stop playing it.

“What are you doing?” Adrian asked Hugh, who was scrolling through his cellphone, almost mindlessly.

“I'm searching for a— for a song… a song Max likes,” he mumbled. Then, he clicked his tongue. “Max likes a very specific song, and I play it when nothing else works. It is so energetic, it makes him very tired. But… I can't find it right now.”

Max turned his face around and Simon appeared once more.

“Why don't you sing it to him?” he wondered.

“Oh, no, he cries every time I try to sing a song for him—” he stopped looking at his phone for a second “—Every single time, Si. I don't know what's with him and my singing. He just goes crazy and it's impossible to calm him down. Won't try again, zero out of ten.”

After a few more scrolling, Hugh ended up finding the song and smiled. He put his phone on a small table, and he and Simon made eye contact for a moment.

“You'll see he'll fall asleep after playing this,” Hugh told him. “Don't worry.”

Then, the song started playing.

Hugh sat Max inside his crib, but this time, he didn't cry. He just looked back at his dad, waiting for something to happen.

Adrian grabbed his hand and tried to pull him away. Then, tried doing the same with Simon's cape. But Simon was way too intrigued by Hugh's strategy. Mainly because he had never heard about it, even though he said it wasn't his first time doing it.

And he tried not to think about that.

So instead of walking away, he pulled Adrian closer to him and silently told him to stay still. Just for a while.

Hugh grabbed Max’s wrist very carefully and started moving them around.

Close your tired eyes, relax, and then,

Count from one to ten and open them.

All these heavy thoughts will try to weigh you down,

but not this time...

Simon wished he had brought a camera with him. Because Max looked as if he were dancing to the song and it was freaking adorable.

Way up in the air you're finally free,

and you can stay up there right next to me.

Hugh let go of Max’s wrists and stepped back a couple of meters. Max, once again, didn’t start crying and continued dancing in his baby way, wiggling his body and staring at his dad with a smile on his face.

All this gravity will try to pull you down,

but not this time...

Maybe it was the fact that Simon wasn’t aware of Max’s weird tendency to sleep when they played upbeat songs. Or maybe that he had never heard that song. He had seen him dancing at public events, with him or with other members of the Council. He had also seen him dancing during their wedding day, and he was dancing with him.

But he hadn’t seen him dancing like that before.

The chorus started and he lip-synced the lyrics while moving his feet. The stars moved around the room and the blue light gave the impression of him being in the middle of the space, among the universe that had made him and every single prodigy out there the way they were. He flapped his arms as if he was trying to imitate the shooting stars the singer was talking about. Colorful sparkles and rainbow comets seemed to appear all around him, surrounding him in a weird but beautiful whirlwind. But he didn’t even bother to look at them like he didn’t care about the things that were going on around him because at that moment, the only thing that existed there was him and the beat.

During the small bridge between the chorus and the next verse, he opened his eyes again, and their gazes crossed once more.

And since Simon knew that face as if it were his own, he could notice he was starting to feel embarrassed.

Adrian pulled his cape once more.

“Come on, Adrian,” he said, grabbing his older son by the wrist, “let’s show your brother and the Captain how we dance.”

Hugh started laughing and Adrian tried to kick him. “Noooo, let me go,” he complained.

“Hey, don’t be like that, it will be fun,” Simon insisted. Adrian stopped yelling and let his dad grab both of his hands, frowning and pouting. “Are you gonna let my husband dance better than us?”

He didn’t want to appeal to any of his two moods, but apparently, he did.

“No,” he answered immediately. “I’m the best dancer in this family.”

“Prove it,” Hugh said from the other side of the glass, casually leaning against Max’s crib. “We’re waiting.”

He remained completely still for a couple of seconds, gazing at him, and Simon started to move Adrian’s hands around like Hugh had done with Max before. His expression dulled little by little, and when he was finally convinced, he let out a very loud “UGH, FINE!” , with the same tone he had used to be homophobic at the restaurant. Simon laughed out loud and Hugh took his imaginary hat off, to let him know that the floor was his.

Gaze into my eyes when the fire starts,

and fan the flames so hot, it melts our hearts.

Oh, the pouring rain, will try to put it out,

but not this time…

First, Adrian moved his arms as if they were dancing a weird version of one of those vintage dances Simon had only seen on TV, similar to what they were doing during the party he constantly thought about. Then, Simon made him spin and they let go of each other, so Adrian could start giving it all, dancing like the guys from the (kind of) cheesy movies he liked to watch, which the professional actors made look cool but when he did it, were hilarious and lovely.

Let your colors burn and brightly burst

into a million sparks that all disperse,

and illuminate a world that'll try to bring you down,

but not this time...

“Pops, you’re not dancing!” Adrian suddenly yelled while pointed at him with an evil grin on his face. “You’re not dancing! Your husband is going to take us down if you don’t dance!”

Hugh had been moving up and down slightly because he knew that was Adrian’s moment to show off, but when he heard Adrian yelled that he got closer to them, dancing with more emphasis and pointing at Simon, like daring him to a duel. Adrian grabbed him by the waist to shake him up a little, and Simon just yelled: “I GOT IT, I GOT IT!”.

Because he got it. He knew he had to dance too.

Even if he wasn’t sure of how to do it.

And it was probably so obvious that Hugh noticed that small detail because as soon as the chorus started once again, he raised his arms, and Simon, without doubting, followed his lead. Then, he spread them, and it reminded him of when they were little and liked to think that they could develop flying abilities if they pretended they were planes. Simon moved a little bit to the left, then a little bit to the right, and realized they matched with the song and he didn’t look dumb at all while doing it.

Especially because Hugh was mirroring each of his movements and he was smiling and laughing, and even began to sing, just a little bit.

“The judges said that singing is not allowed during the competition,” said Adrian with a teasing tone of voice.

Hugh spun two times and Simon spun one.

“The evaluation criteria is completely arbitrary,” Hugh grinned. “I don’t understand it, it doesn’t exist to me.”

Adrian shook his head with fake exasperation and proceeded to shake his head from side to side, while snapping his fingers and singing the lyrics too, pretending he had a better singing voice than his dad did. Which was true.

Simon was about to make a joke about it, when he saw something moving in Max’s crib.

And he realized he had been completely terrified of not being there when that eventually happened.

He was holding onto the crib bars as if his life depended on it. His pacifier had fallen off his mouth, but he didn’t care and was staring at the rest of his family, completely poker-faced because obviously, he was so little he didn’t comprehend how amazing it was what he was doing.

Max was still too young to understand how amazing he was.

“MAX, YOU’RE STANDING!” Simon cheered. “HUGH, THE BABY IS STANDING!”

A thousand heartbeats beat in time…

Hugh turned around violently and Adrian pointed at his little brother immediately after noticing too, squealing and jumping. “He is! He really is!”

And when all the eyes went on Max, instead of hiding like he did every time someone who wasn’t the Council or his parents visited him, his whole face lit up and Simon could hear his baby laugh from the other side of the glass even louder than he could hear the music.

It makes this dark planet come alive...

Adrian continued to cheer his brother, stomping his feet and using the glass that divided them like a drum, and Hugh threw a glance at Simon, before looking at Max again and opening his arms as if Max was able to run to him and hug him.

“Max, you’re standing!” Hugh repeated. “Congratulations, love!”

So when the lights flicker out tonight...

Max's smile widened even more and he began his body up and down, with an intent to join the party. Simon couldn’t help but imitate his movements, and suddenly he got an idea.

You gotta shine...

He grabbed an invisible mic, pointed at the baby that was giggling so hard he had his eyes closed, and began to sing:

“When the sun goes down and the lights burn out, then it’s time for you to shine! Brighter than a shooting star! So shine no matter where you are! ”

Max's movements became quicker and his laugh louder. Adrian took out his imaginary guitar, and continued to stomp his feet while making guitar noises with his mouth because he was sure that he had just become an amazing musician and nothing could stop him.

And he looked so convinced that Simon believed him, because Adrian was as amazing as he believed he was, and he would never let anyone make him believe otherwise.

“Fill the darkest night with a brilliant light, 'cause it's time for you to shine!”

Finally, he saw Hugh grabbing two drumsticks that only existed inside his head, and beginning to play the battery, making all the stars and colorful sparkles jump around him, leaving small traces of their existence all around his face. He threw the drumsticks in the air, spun once more, and finally caught them in the air, before continuing playing his instrument.

Simon knew that Hugh was completely aware of how amazing he was. Prodigies with powers like the ones he had weren’t born every day, and prodigies who also had the exact combination of characteristics that allowed him to go as far as he had been able to go were even fewer.

But sometimes Simon did wonder if he knew he was also amazing when he wasn't being Captain Chromium.

Captain Chromium would never be able to make those rainbow sparkles shine as bright as Hugh Everhart was doing it right now, and Simon thought it was one of the most beautiful views his eyes would ever be able to see.

So when he spun again and tripped with his own feet, leaning against the glass to not hit his head with it, Simon pressed his hand against the glass.

“BRIGHTER THAN A SHOOTING STAR! ” Adrian yelled. “SO SHINE NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE!”

And we wondered again.

Do you know it?

Do you know how amazing you are being right now?

Please tell me you do.

But he never did. The singer, Adrian, and Max mumbled “Tonight” at the same time, although Max did in a way only he could understand and without even noticing what he was saying.

Simon smiled at Hugh, and he smiled back at him, as he always did.

When he walked to Max's crib and carried him in his arms, he noticed the sparkles were completely gone. But he still grabbed Max's little wrist and waved goodbye at them, while his baby's eyelids started getting heavy. Then, before he could do the same thing with Adrian, he threw a kiss at them, before hugging Simon's arm and asking him if they could go to sleep now, again.

Simon looked at Hugh one more time. Hugh tilted his head, smiled a little bit more, and said:

“Good night, Si.”

And Si laughed under his breath.

“Good night to you too. Shooting Star.”

He never called him like that again.

But it was alright because Hugh never danced like that again. And no one could see the same shooting star twice.

Still, Simon wanted to believe that someday he would.

Maybe someday.

#renegades ship week #renegades ship week 1 #renegades #archenemies #supernova #renegades trilogy #hugh everhart #simon westwood #adrian everhart-westwood #max everhart-westwood #the warden and the captain are sitting in a tree #obsi's writs #i knew i said that im gonna strat posting only on ao3 but this is for an event #gifts and event fics are gonna go here too JAJAJAJA

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captain-aralias · 3 years ago

Photo

Fic’s finished - here’s some trivia!

Includes:

References to 90s RomComs

Writerly ephemera

Baz’s wardrobe / Simon’s wardrobe

A deleted scene

90s RomComs

In the prompt, Liz mentioned Four Weddings and a Funeral and My Best Friend’s Wedding. (And The Proposal, which honestly I’ve never seen, even though now I’m thinking I should.) I didn’t really go with the vibes because I wanted to do a break up, but I put at least one reference to these films in every chapter. For fun.

He was the love of my life. My North, my South, my East and West. (Chapter 1)

It also, horrifyingly, sounds a lot like that awful song Daphne made us listen to earlier. I can’t laugh, and I can’t sing. (Chapter 2)

The whole ‘forgot the rings’ thing is reference enough

I like him dressed for weddings. (Chapter 3)

He crosses his arms. Pretends to be unmoved, even when half the bar joins in (I tipped Shepard off) (he thought the plan was brilliant) even the lobsters. They’re waving their claws in the air. (Chapter 4 - the only reference to My Best Friend’s Wedding)

“The boy’s a liar,” someone barks from behind me. “Tyrannus Pitch has been dead sixty years and good riddance.” (Chapter 5)

“Simon,” I say. “I do.” (Chapter 5)

Writerly Ephemera

Amy had this lovely idea a few months ago: Find bits of yourself that you gave to your fiction (memories and places and phrases and things into our stories).

Usually, there’s hardly any of my life in my fic, but I stole a few bits and pieces for this fic:

My father got re-married when I was at university. I like his wife, but I barely knew her then - I just knew, she’s the woman my dad left my mum for! He asked me to choose a reading and I had literally no idea what to pick. Retrospectively, I should have said no, you choose, but anyway. I chose a bit of Jeeves & Wooster where Bertie talks about wanting to get married for some reason - both my aunts loved it, the married couple were completely bemused. No idea what I was on about.

Also, their recessional music was Whitney Houston. The theme from The Bodyguard. I’d originally written this as the Spice Girls, since Daphne would have grown up in the 90s, but then I thought of the end of Chapter 2 joke, and I was like - going to troll my father from this gay fanfiction, I guess.

It was really hot when I was writing Chapter 3. That’s why it’s very hot in this chapter.

Simon and Baz choose not to get married at the end of this fic - not yet anyway. In part, because I didn’t want to re-do Golden Years, in part because that’s the end of Four Weddings, and in part because I feel a bit like I’ve written Baz in this fic. I thought I liked weddings, until I thought about it properly ... (N.B. I think actual Baz totally wants to marry Simon, btw, and Simon longs for an official family. But I had to get to my ending, so here we are.)

Baz’s wardrobe

You can still buy a very similar McQueen blazer if you like. Which I like even more. It’s completely not my vibe - unlike the Harry Styles Gucci below, which definitely is – and it’s a thousand pounds, but several times during this fic, I thought... I mean, maybe?

There’s no reference for the burgundy suit - I just wanted it.

Simon’s wardrobe

He’s wearing the Leaver’s Ball outfit at Jamie & Beth’s wedding, followed by a suit that has no reference, but is based - in my mind - on one from RooBadley’s Use Your Words

I consulted Roo about Simon’s wardrobe for this fic - for one summer wedding, one winter wedding. They gave me these:

I really liked this second suit for Simon - so much that when I remembered Simon was the best man in Chapter 5 and should probably be wearing some sort of matching outfit with Shepard, I was like... to hell with it. He’s wearing this!!!

I switched the green for undyed linen. Roo and I also had this conversation, which I wanted to use in the fic but never managed to fit in.

aralias i'm just reading in the gentleman's gazette that it's actually OK for linen to be creased

RooBadley

I would very much love for this to be a fact that Lady Ruth reassures Simon with and Simon then repeats to Baz his one bit of fashion knowledge

aralias "the really pronounced characteristic wrinkles of linen are a sign of a sophisticated casual style, actually, Baz"

RooBadley Baz: Shall I spell those wrinkles out for you, Snow? Simon: Actually, creasing is fine and acceptable when wearing linen, Baz. Though'd you'd have known that. ~smirk~

aralias i like the way this dude has rolled up the trousers too - it's not a safari, it's hipster

Deleted scene:

After the success (I think) of the end of chapter 1, I started to think ‘maybe every chapter will end with some texting!!!’

I started writing this conversation for the end of chapter 2 before I’d finished it - almost unheard of - but then I decided I hated it. Very info-dumpy. I kept the homo-positive joke, as you can see, even though I’m not sure it deserves to be kept. 😂

“HOLY MORGANA. penny just told me.”

“I know. She called me as well. It’s some sort of visa thing, I think. And she thinks it will be helpful in negotiating back all the children he’s bartered away, if she can tell people she’s his wife and has a claim on them.”

“it was more romantic when penny told me about it. shepard asked me to be his best man.”

“Oh dear. Are he and Bunce going to fight over you?”

“obviously not. penny’s a woman.”

“So? I’m going to be Fiona’s Best Man. Or Man of Honour – whatever the term is.”

“yeah, but that’s different.”

“How? Choose your words carefully, Snow.”

“I mean, because fiona doesn’t have any other friends & her sister is dead (sorry). who the fuck would she pick if not you? penny asked her sister.”

“Oh. I thought you meant because I was gay. And like to wear flowers.”

“wtf. no. i’m not homophobic. i’m LITERALLY homo … positive. (is that a thing?)”

“I think you can just say gay.”

“i’m not gay, tho”

“Right. Well, this is awkward.”

“why?”

“baz? you know i don’t know what i am. and you know it doesn’t matter, because the only person I want to be with is YOU. even tho you’re a touchy bastard.”

“man of honour suits you. you should go with that.”

“Best man doesn’t suit *you* at all.”

“fuck off.”

“are you going to come to penny’s wedding?”

“Yes. Even now I know you’re helping organise it. Do you want to come to Fiona’s?”

“fuck no. she tried to kill me. unless you want me to. i’ll go if you want me to. i’ll even buy her a gift”

“I would like you to be there.”

“all right. send me the invite.”

that’s all, folks!

Four Funereal Weddings and an American Stag Do

#carry on #awtwb spoilers #my fic #my deleted scenes #my content

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goldencuffs · 4 years ago

Text

fake dating au

“— I promise to love and respect you always.”

“Hmm?” Laurent turned from the view of the lake and saw that Torveld was down on one knee, with a velvet box in his hand. There was a ring in it — a ghastly one, with only one diamond. Honestly. Laurent frowned. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. What the fuck are you doing?”

“Er —” Torveld seemed to have trouble balancing himself. He was also getting very red. “I’m proposing?”

“You don’t sound so sure.”

“I’m proposing,” Torveld repeated firmly. To his credit, he did sound much more confident. Unfortunately, it was undermined by the sweat on his forehead and his shifting eyes.

“Oh,” Laurent said. He paused. “Why?”

“Why?” Torveld repeated, incredulous. “Because — For all the reasons I just said! Love and respect and — and status!”

Laurent stared down at him. “This is the third time we’ve spoken. And I don’t think the first time counts since you threw up in the middle of our conversation.”

“I told you I had a stomach bug,” Torveld hissed. He looked mortified, and in the distance, Laurent could see Jord and Lazar muffling their laughter.

Laurent grimaced in an attempt to mask his own unbidden smile. The memory of that first encounter haunted him, but it was undeniably hilarious — objectively, of course.

Torveld watched his face and wilted. “You’re not going to say yes, are you?”

Laurent tried to look a little compassionate. It only made Torveld frown, so Laurent suspected he had failed horribly. “I’m afraid not,” he said.

Torveld stood up and pocketed the box. He looked very put out.

“I’m sorry,” Laurent said, because it seemed like the right thing to say. Then he ruined it by asking: “How much did my father pay you?”

Torveld went very still. “Um.”

“Come on,” Laurent chided. “You’re the sixth person to propose to me this month. I know what Al is like.”

Torveld cleared his throat, then muttered a figure under his breath.

Laurent’s eyebrows rose and his stomach dropped; it seemed the King really was serious about marrying Laurent off as soon as he turned twenty one.

And really, Laurent wasn’t opposed to the idea of marriage, not at all. In fact, getting married to a man with a large cock and an even larger fortune was one of his top ten dreams. But that didn’t mean he wanted to do it now. He liked having freedom; most of his days were spent reading, gathering gossip on various Lords. and getting fucked by foreign, dashing men. And if Vere was short on foreign, dashing men, then Laurent had his guardsmen to keep him company in bed. There was a reason Lazar had extended his contract for another five years, after all.

It just infuriated Laurent that Al was doing this behind his back: setting him up on frivolous excursions with men who were low enough in rank to be appeased with marrying a second son.

It also made Laurent feel more unwanted than usual — but that thought was going to stay firmly lodged into his brain until his death.

Looking at Torveld now, Laurent realised that Al would not stop here. No doubt he had more men lined up for Laurent to meet. Perhaps he was waiting until Laurent got so tired of it, he would say yes to the next man who walked into the Palace.

Like hell that was going to happen.

Laurent knew he had to do something to stop it right now. He assessed Torveld, trying to think. He knew the man was a notorious gossiper — to the point where his own brother, the Crown Prince, had barred him from Council meetings because he ended up spilling everything to anyone who would listen.

So, Laurent said the one, plausible thing he could think of. “I’m sure you know why I had to say no, of course.” He kept his tone coy.

Torveld immediately piqued, curious. “No, why?”

Laurent bit his lip, pretending to survey the area around them for any potential eavesdroppers. He leaned in close. “I’m seeing someone. It’s very serious, but we’ve had to keep it lowkey in case Al tries to break us up.”

Torveld’s eyebrows rose. “Really? Is he —” He lowered his voice. “A commoner?”

Laurent’s nose scrunched. Ha! As if he’d succumb himself to that. No, obviously, Laurent’s imaginary lover would be amazing, respected by all, tall, hot as fuck, powerful, in touch with all the latest trends, and fantastic in bed. Someone so admirable and high in rank, that even Al would be impressed.

Laurent said the first name that sprung to his mind. “It’s Damianos.”

Granted, the only reason Laurent had even thought of him was because Al had mentioned him during breakfast. Something about how high Akielon taxes were and blah blah blah — as if Laurent cared. But, a man like Damianos did fit a majority of the aforementioned traits. Although, Laurent had no way of knowing whether being fantastic in bed was one of them.

Torveld looked suitably shocked. “The King of Akielos?”

Laurent smiled, smug. “The very same.”

Torveld was awed by the news. Then, he frowned. “But why would your father want to break you up? I thought he wanted a formal, political relationship with Akielos. A marriage seems like a good alliance.”

“Uh,” Laurent paused. He didn’t even know Al wanted that. Was that why he was always going to Akielos? He tried to search for an answer, and when he couldn’t find one, said, “Oh no, excuse me, I forgot I had an appointment with —” He hurried away before he had to think of something.

Al came into his room later that evening, after a substantial amount of knocking. He always knocked now — sometimes more times than what was strictly necessary; the last time he had barged into Laurent's room, unannounced, Laurent had been on all fours, in between two very well endowed brothers, noblemen from Vask.

Al hadn’t spoken to Laurent for four months after that. It was only when Auguste came back from college and made Laurent apologise to their father did he finally ease up.

As soon as he was inside, Al said, “Torveld tells me you rejected his proposal because you’re in a relationship with the King of Akielos.”

Laurent put his book down, face up, and swung his legs over the bed. “Good god, he really can’t keep a secret, can he?”

Al ignored him, as he tended to do most of the time. “Well?”

Laurent said, “Yes, it’s true.”

“When did this start?”

“When did what start?”

Al glared. “This very serious relationship, as Torveld put it.”

They were still talking about that? Laurent made up a number. “Three years.” Oh no; that was too high of a number. “No! I mean, we’ve been talking for three years but uh — one year. We’ve been together for one year.”

“How did this even happen?” Al said. “Damianos has not visited Vere since you were thirteen.”

Laurent remembered that trip; his first kiss had happened during one of the many balls they had hosted, with a girl from Akielos. Afterwards, Laurent had said, “Oh, I’m definitely gay.”, and she had spilled juice all over his lap.

It had been a fun night.

Laurent said, “We started talking online.” That was plausible; and mentioning anything to do with technology would no doubt bore Al.

He was right; Al already looked like he was trying to wrap this up as fast as possible. “And he’s committed to you completely?”

“Sure, I guess.”

Al looked thoughtful. “I assume he’s the one that’s been spending all that money on those ridiculous gifts that have been delivered to you over the last few months.”

“Of course!” Laurent said quickly. “As if I’d be irresponsible enough to buy myself a 1954 Ferrari! That was definitely Damianos.”

Laurent was seeing more and more perks to this plan. Maybe he could finally buy himself a retro Mercedes and blame it on Damianos, too.

Al’s face did something strange. Laurent sprung to his feet, concerned. “What is it? Are you having a heart attack?”

Al’s face morphed into a scowl, which was much more familiar. “I was smiling,” he said, sharply.

“Oh.” Laurent said. How the heck was he supposed to know that? Al never smiled at him.

There was a small pause. Al said, “Is he open to the idea of marriage?”

Laurent almost rolled his eyes. He said, “I think so. But, he’s so busy running a country and what not, it’s never really come up.” He took a deep breath. “I suspect in a few years, we will be married.”

He waited. And waited.

Finally, Al nodded. “See to it if you can convince him to get married sooner.”

“I will,” Laurent said. “In the meantime… you’ll stop setting me up all those Lords and noblemen?”

Al watched him for a few beats. “Yes, I suppose so.”

Laurent grinned; this was better than anything he could have hoped for.

“Don’t make that face,” Al snapped.

Laurent frowned.

Al stood in his room for a moment. He looked like he wanted to say something, but then he just nodded once and left.

Laurent immediately called Jord and Lazar into his room to celebrate.

Pretending to be in a relationship with the King of Akielos made Laurent’s life so much richer, it was a wonder why he hadn’t thought to do it sooner.

It was easy, too; all he had to do was occasionally smile dreamily into his phone, as though he had received the most thoughtful, wonderful love letter, and stare out the window. He also began leaving notes with the gifts he bought himself; Al didn’t say anything when a blue Mercedes showed up, because Damianos had given it, of course.

Laurent could stay up all night playing video games and when he’d fall asleep during Council meetings the next morning, all he had to do was moan about the time difference between Akielos and Vere to be forgiven.

People listened to him more, especially when Laurent began sentences with, “Well, Damianos said…” It was how Laurent convinced Al that he needed a new crown, one with more rubies this time.

Laurent’s sex life also became much wilder; it seemed men became very turned on when they thought they were fucking the boyfriend of a King. One of them had even asked Laurent to call him ‘Your Majesty’ in bed, which Laurent liked well enough.

The best part of it was the fact that Al finally left him alone. He stopped pestering Laurent about his princely duties and stopped saying things like, What would your mother think of you? each time another man crept out of his room. In fact, sometimes Al even asked him about his day. It was truly bizarre stuff.

It should have been Laurent’s first clue that things would come crashing down, sooner rather than later.

After three months of living indulgently, Al said over breakfast one day, “I thought you would be jumping for joy today.”

“Why’s that?” Laurent muttered into his toast. He had a horrid hangover, and his ass was sore.

Al frowned at him. “Sit straight,” he snapped.

Laurent said, “I can only sit gay.” When that joke fell flat, he sat up, with great effort. Al was still staring at him, so he said, “What?” a little sharper than he intended to.

Al’s mouth thinned. “I sincerely hope you don’t misbehave like this around your beau. I shudder to think what the delegates would say.”

“My beau?” Laurent said, face twisted. “Ugh, what century are you from?”

Al was silent; a very bad sign. Laurent continued to butter his toast, hoping to be forgotten about for the rest of the day.

That was not the case. Al decided to punish Laurent in the cruellest way; he was forced to attend four separate meetings with his father, and then attend a small, private dinner at Heston’s estate.

Halfway through the meal, Herode, one of the only people on the Council who could stand him said, “You must be very excited today, Your Highness.”

Laurent paused. “Why does everyone keep saying that?” After his father, three other Lords had approached him with the same words; Laurent had only smiled and nodded.

Now, he had a feeling that his father must have said it for a reason.

Herode smiled kindly; Laurent imagined it was a fatherly kind of smile, except he didn’t quite know, did he? “The Akielon King is going to be visiting Vere for the first time in eight years.” Herode’s expression grew sly. “I’m sure we can all guess as to why he’s suddenly interested in visiting.”

Laurent dropped his knife. It made several heads turn; Laurent flushed and ducked his head. To Herode he said, “The Akielon — Damianos is coming? When?”

Herode’s eyebrows met together in the middle. “You weren’t aware, Your Highness? It was confirmed last night; he should be here within a week.”

A week! Laurent’s eyes widened. Had someone told Damianos about what Laurent was doing? Was that why he was suddenly coming to Vere — to beat him up? Oh god, his father was going to kill him.

Thankfully, the panic on Laurent’s face was mistaken for something else. Herode said, “Oh! Did the King want to surprise you?”

“Yes, he probably did,” Laurent said weakly. “He’s always doing that… surprising me.” He let out a weak chuckle.

“I think that’s wonderful,” said Herode, and god, he really was the sweetest man ever. Why hadn’t he given birth to Laurent?

“Yes, wonderful,” Laurent agreed, stomaching sinking. He was so utterly fucked — and not in the good way.

#remember when i said i was working on a fake dating au #this was it #i didnt really like it last year but reading it rn after months i kinda like it???#its lighthearted and fun lmao #also laurent calling aleron al might be a new favourite trope #captive prince #damen x laurent #my writing #my fic #please lmk what u think!#queue #fake dating au

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thepropertylovers · 4 years ago

Text

"Do You Do All the Grocery Shopping or Does Your Wife Usually Do It?"

I was in the check out line at the grocery store the other day having a lighthearted conversation with the check out clerk and the woman in line behind me, when suddenly, things to a drastic turn…

I was talking to Pauline, the check out clerk, about these blueberry breakfast bars I buy for PJ. They’re one of the only snacks he actually likes, so I try to remember to buy them whenever I go to the store. Pauline, however, hates them- she tried them once and thought they were gross. I laugh as she tells me this because our family quite enjoys them. I asked her if it was because she thought they tasted too processed since she also just let me know she cooks at home a lot and recently made Easter lunch for her son and his family. She said she doesn’t remember why, she just knows she doesn’t like them. Point made.

Meanwhile, the lady in line behind me points to my Blackbox of Chardonnay and inquisitively asks if that’s wine. I perk up and say yes, yes it is! And it’s so good! I tell her how you get four bottles in one box and it’s delicious and we’ve been doing boxed wine for the last year since it’s such a better buy money-wise. She tells me she has been wanting to try it for a while and she just may get some for herself.

She asks if I have a big family that I’m feeding with all the food and training pants that I’m buying. I proudly say that we have three foster kids at home who, even though they’re only ages five and under, eat so much all day every day, and that it’s been fun and challenging trying to come up with new things to cook when we don’t order takeout (which, sadly, has been more times that not lately). She asks me a bit about the kiddos and I gush to her about them, as anyone would.

Sometime during all of these exchanges I notice two younger girls in the line beside me paying attention to the different conversations we have going on. They’re probably in their late teens or early twenties. They don’t say anything, but I could tell they were interested and listening.

She gets to the end of ringing me up ($400 later), and I jokingly ask Pauline if she could tell I hadn’t been grocery shopping in a while and then I dramatically tell her I was grateful just to make it out of the store alive since I was already there for well over an hour. Pauline laughs and the lady behind me who asked about the wine laughs and then, with a smile on her face, she asks me a sincere, seemingly harmless question:

“Do you do all the grocery shopping or does your wife usually do it?”

I don’t know if it was because I had already been at the store for over an hour and was tired and had to pee or if it was because I was only half-listening as I was inserting my card into the chip reader, but for some reason her use of the word “wife” didn’t register to me. I was so confused! My wife? Well, I don’t have a wife? I’m gay.

So, I asked, “My wife?” And she replied, “Yes?” Pauline leaned in. “Oh, I don’t have a wife,” I matter-of-factly explained. “I have a husband, but I am the one who does all the grocery shopping and he will stay home with the kids or I’ll get my mom to watch them if he’s working. Honestly, though, I don’t mind because this is like my me time where I get to relax and be by myself and get away from all the noise for a while and kind of do my own thing, so I actually really enjoy it.” No one said a word.

The atmosphere drastically changed in a matter of seconds and suddenly it was a lot quieter as I took my card out of the chip reader. Pauline finished clearing all the bags and the girls beside us tilted their heads a little as they tried their best not to look like they were still listening. Finally, after a few seconds of silence (which can feel like eternity when it’s just you and a few others standing within a few feet of each other), the lady behind me exclaimed, “Oh okay! My daughter lives in Ohio and she and her husband just bought a million dollar house and I couldn’t believe it because the house they have now is so big that I sometimes get lost in it!”

I wasn’t sure what her daughter in Ohio buying a million dollar house had anything to do with the conversation we were having, but nonetheless, I smiled and said, “Good for her!” I assume she couldn’t find anything else to say after my revelation that she no doubt wasn’t expecting, and said the first thing that came to her mind. Maybe? Who knows. I didn’t mind either way. Pauline handed me my receipt with a smile on her face and we both told each other to have a nice day and that was that.

The thing no one tells you when you come out publicly for the first time is that you’re going to have to keep coming out for the rest of your life; to co-workers, to teachers, to classmates, to neighbors, to random people in line at the grocery store. For some, it never gets easier. It took a while for me to feel secure disclosing that I am gay and that I have a husband, not a wife, to strangers. It’s all about how comfortable and safe you feel in the situation. I now take pride in telling people I have a husband, especially here in the south, because it’s kind of a way for me to say, “Look! I’m an actual person that exists and that you can see and who has a life and who does the same things that everyone else does.”

It’s a fine line deciding who you want to spend your time on explaining you don’t have a wife or a girlfriend when you use the word “we” in a sentence. The exterminator I was talking to on the phone last year, who I had already decided I wasn’t going to use for reasons unrelated to anything other than price, innocently misgendered PJ and said “wife”. I was in such a hurry to get off the phone at that point because the kids were yelling and I had already made up my mind that he was too expensive, that I didn’t even bother correcting him. But the lady in the check out line was different to me because we were already having an honest, fun conversation about nothing, and since she asked, I found no reason to lie to her. I lied about who I was to everyone I loved for half my life until I met PJ; until I came out.

While I don’t think heterosexual should be the assumed default sexual orientation, I understand why people, especially in the area of the country we live in, automatically think your spouse/partner is someone of the opposite sex. It’s just part of life and part of being a member of the LGBTQ+ community, and it’s something we’ll most likely always have to go through.

I’ve found, though, that when I am upfront with someone and confidently tell them I have a husband and/or we have three kiddos, they never say anything negative to me. Maybe it’s because they’re taken off guard or because they want to save face and not come across as rude, but whatever the reason, when I am honest with someone and politely correct them when they misgender my husband, they are respectful and almost always apologize and continue on with the conversation like nothing happened.

Also, a lot of times (again, especially in the area we live in) people don’t talk to an openly gay person, face to face every day, so I like to always think of these moments of “coming out” as education for others who might not be so familiar with the LGBTQ+ community or who might have preconceived ideas about us. When you act like it’s no big deal that you’re gay and married and have kids, then maybe they’ll, too, realize it’s no big deal that you’re gay and married and have kids. Is it our responsibility to educate others who might not accept us? Maybe not, but we have an opportunity to open their eyes and show them we’re here and we’re not going anywhere, nor should we have to.

At the end of the day, I can feel joy and take comfort in knowing that I am gay, that I am happy as an out individual and, of course, that I not only buy those blueberry breakfast bars for my husband since they’re one of the only snacks he actually likes, but that I in fact do all the grocery shopping in our family. Not my husband, and certainly not my wife.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #375

“why do i see her, the never-ending night / why do i see her, wearing nothing but the dark?”

Who’s one person who changed how you viewed something? I hold Rhett & Link responsible for "curing" my homophobia. I went through a phase where I shipped them like CRAZY, and they're still my "OTP," and it really made me question why I had such a disgusting belief. The switch was officially flipped when listening to their podcast with Hannah Hart, who discussed growing up as a lesbian surrounded by homophobia. Let me tell you, it felt fucking good to let that repulsive belief go. It was my former religion that tied me to it, but it could no longer be an excuse to me, even when I stayed Christian a while longer. And here I am now as a bisexual woman who wants to deck younger me dead in the face. :') Were you ever scared of driving? What scared you about it? I am TERRIFIED of driving. I'm most scared of getting in a wreck and killing somebody, something I would never. Ever. Ever. Forgive myself for. I'm also petrified of, once again, getting in a wreck and I wind up paralyzed from the neck down. The most memorable time that you skipped school, what did you do? Nothing very exciting. What was the last topic you did thorough research on? Why? Toxic masculinity for an essay in college. What is a dish you absolutely love, but hate to prepare yourself? I don't cook, so. Of the many different American accents, which one is your favorite? New York. Is there anything hanging from the doorknob in your room? No. Why did you move to where you’re living now? Because we had to get out of our former house because the growing mold problem was a health hazard (especially for Mom, given her then-recent cancer diagnosis), and our family friend newly owned this house as a part of the former resident's will. Said resident knew Mom as well and the house problems, so she wanted Tobey to help us into this house anyway. What’s your opinion on wearing pajamas in public? Do you yourself do that? I literally couldn't care less. I do it a lot. Do you usually fill up at the same gas station? No; Mom just pays attention to the price. Are you currently looking for a new job? No. I don't plan to until I'm done with TMS therapy. Are any of your relatives musicians? No. Have you ever had an asthma attack? Thank goodness no. My mom has asthma and I have seen her have an attack, so I know they're terrifying. Have you ever been in a hospital and not felt safe? There was one occasion during a psych hospital stay that my roommate had WILD anger issues. She would explode out of seemingly NOWHERE, to the point once or twice she had to be put in solitary because she would literally scream and damage shit, like throwing tables and such. She scared the piss out of me to the point I finally plucked up the courage to tell the nurses that I needed a different room. What’s the highest fever you’ve ever had? I don't remember. Have you ever been hospitalized for a day or more? At psych hospitals. I think my shortest visit was just shy of a week. Have you ever had surgery? Two. Are you lonely? I'm admittedly very lonely. Are you mad at someone right now? No. Do you eat late at night? I sometimes need a small midnight or so snack because I cannoooooooot sleep when my stomach is growling. If I'm in basically any sort of discomfort, I have extreme trouble sleeping. Who do you miss? A lot of people. I miss Jason, Megan, Mini, Hannia, Emily, Journee... I don't feel like dwelling on those I've lost. Who do you admire most? Mark. If you could transform into any animal what would it be and why? Maybe a cat. Quick, agile, stealthy, majestic, well-equipped to defend itself... sounds pretty good. Are you more artistic or mathematical? Definitely more artistic. Which supermarket do you usually shop at? Wal-Mart. When was the last time you went to McDonald’s? I'm not sure, but it's been a while. Maybe around a month. What was the last chocolate bar you ate? I believe I had a 3 Musketeers because I was really craving one. Who was the last person you talked to on Skype/video chat? The woman who was doing my evaluation to determine if I was a good fit for TMS therapy. Can you remember the first time you ever talked to the person you love/like? Does he/she remember? I think I might have a vague idea, but I don't really remember. Would you be able to have a relationship with someone you didn’t find attractive, if they had a nice personality and treated you well? Yep. It sounds cheesy, but I do mean it when I say a beautiful inside blossoms into the body itself for me personally. Does the last person you kissed have brown eyes? Yes. Have you ever really liked someone to begin with, then changed your mind about them? I guess you could say Girt, because I had a pretty big crush on him when I started HS. We were just friends for way too long that when we finally dated years upon years later, it felt much too weird. He really was my "brother from another mother" by that point. Has anyone ever told you that they wanted to spend the rest of their life with you? Aaaaand he left. :^) If you decided to dye your hair, would you choose to go lighter or darker? Lighter. I want to dye my hair pastel colors so very badly. Do you know what the Enneagram is and if so, what’s your type? INFP. Do you listen to Mayday Parade? I only know "Terrible Things," which I positively adore. Do you have trouble falling asleep at night? I have an extremely hard time sleeping at night. It's honestly one reason I sometimes sleep so much during the day. Are you on a laptop, desktop or phone/iPod? A laptop. Have you ever been so angry that you screamed out of nowhere? I've screamed into a pillow. What’s the longest movie you’ve ever watched? I dunno, maybe over three hours? What was the last thing you watched on Netflix or Hulu? I have no clue. What do you think about your current relationship status? I mean I miss being in love and having someone who sees a future with me, but I know in the deepest part of me that it's wiser that I stay single until I figure some things out. Of most concern, I don't have a job or even a confident sign I'll have one soon, I'm not in school headed for a career, I don't drive, I don't cook... I'm a liability, financially and in other ways. It wouldn't be fair to my partner or even myself to go into a relationship with a heavy risk of heartbreak because I'm taking too long to get to where I want to be. I'm 25 now - if/when I get into a relationship, I want forever, and I'm not wasting time on anyone for almost inevitable failure as romantic partners. I want to AT LEAST have a steady job before I enter another relationship. How many people have you kissed? Three or four. Do you go out on dates? I have no one to go on a date with. Do you kiss on the first date? I never have and probably wouldn't, but I guess if things went very well and I was really into the person, maybe I would. What’s the farthest you’ve gone with someone? Doing to do. Would you rather receive a stuffed animal, flowers, or chocolate? I'd really appreciate any. I think flowers are sorta overrated though honestly, like someone ripped some healthy flowers from their roots and doomed them to a quickly-approaching death, but society still has a part of me thinking "oh that's sweet." I think more than anything, I'd be crazy over a meerkat plushy. Or would expensive jewelry just be fine? You really don't have to do that for me; I don't really wear much jewelry at all anyway. Odds are you'd be wasting your money. What’s the cheesiest romantic gift you’ve ever received? I don't know. Do you like romantic poetry? Yessssssssss. Have you ever been rickrolled? I'm unsure. Do you like bologna? Yeah. It was my favorite lunch meat as a kid. Have you ever had a nose bleed? Yes. Have you ever puked on a fair ride before? No, because I don't go on rides that generally induce that sort of risk. What animals have you ridden? Just ponies. What is your parents' idea of grounding you? Taking away my access to the computer. Dragons or unicorns? Dragons! Do you wish vampires existed? Uh, no. At the moment what is your favorite song? I'm going through another phase of really digging "Castle of Glass" by Linkin Park. Have you ever been pantsed? No. What is your favorite magazine? I don’t read any. Did you ever like Barbies? Do you currently like Barbies? I never really was, I just played with them when my little sister wanted to. I was more into playing with my dinosaurs and Pokemon and stuff. I'm not into them now, either. What’s your favorite hit song right now? I don't know what songs are "hits" right now. What’s your favorite element? (fire, water, air) Fire, aesthetically. Have you ever been to a wild party? Nah. Do you put on a robe when it’s cold? I don't own a robe. Is the last person you kissed gay? She's demisexual. What breed was the last dog you saw? She's some sort of hound mix. We think there might be dalmatian in her, too. What type of day are you having? It's been all right. I'm just REALLY not feeling this damn heat. Driving an hour and back to the TMS office in a car that has no A/C is agony. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It's been pierced multiple times, and I want to do it again, but this time with a nostril hoop versus a stud so the goddamn thing stays in. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? I have an incredibly strong preference for cold weather. Fuck the heat. Like just 70*F is "too hot" to me. Who was the last person you talked to in person? My mom. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? No. Do you like rain? Yes, but I don't like being caught out in it. I just like looking at and listening to it. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? Yep. Do you like to cuddle? If I really like you and it's not too hot, yeah. Are you shy? I'm excruciatingly shy. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? Hunny, I'd do that for free. Which do you like better- zebra print or leopard print? I'm not really a fan of either particular pattern on anything but the animal. Do you have any stickers on your car? I don't have my own car, but Mom has one that allows her to park in her old school's parking lot. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? No. My sister Misty, tho

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''her silent language'' by dark tranquility

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atruththatyoudeny · 5 years ago

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Monthly Reads | January 2020

Happy 28th! Time for some fic rec! Here are all the fics I read and loved this month. As always, all the love for the authors in this fandom ♥

✦ Foolishly Laying Our Hearts On The Table | runaway_train | friends to lovers - marriage proposal - pining - fluff - light angst - 11k “You think Harry wants that?” “Dunno. Maybe. Wanna make him happy.” Harry takes advantage of the red light he’s pulled up to turn and look properly at Louis’ face. He’s not even looking in Harry’s direction though, focused instead on something out of his side window, head drooped, mindlessly playing with the string of his hoodie between his fingers, lost in his own world somewhere. For some reason, it makes Harry’s spine straighten. “Because he’s your best mate?” Harry questions carefully. “He’s my boyfriend.” He couldn’t have heard him right. “What?” Louis releases a deep breath, still not turning around. Harry wonders who he thinks he’s talking to right now. “He’s so pretty. Want to kiss him all day long. And buy him a big house and give him presents and marry him.” Or The one where Harry is in love with his best friend Louis but doesn't think he stands a chance until some wisdom teeth and a rather unusual confession might just change his mind.

✦ We Can Go On Forever (When Everything’s Gone Forever) | jurassiclouis | a/b/o - mating rituals - fluff - 39k Harry spent most of his adult life focused on either his studies or his books - 5 of which he has already had published before he was 30. Immediately after completing his dissertation, he was offered a lectureship at Cambridge University where he’s been for 2 years now. This wasn’t the first time in his life that he had felt the incessant itch to know more about a subject by any means. However, this was the first time the subject had been an Omega.

✦ keep it sweet in your memory | Safetypinprince | cheating - emotional cheating - divorce - moral ambiguity - 17k 'How'd it go?' Harry pushes them into Niall's room and shuts the door behind him, so Georgia doesn't overhear. 'It was good. We just caught up, mostly... I may have done something a little stupid, though.' And Niall's eyebrows are in his hairline at that. 'I mean. Okay, so I invited Louis out on Saturday.' 'Saturday? Your--' 'Yes, my bachelor party...' and then Harry has to explain himself, 'I just felt guilty. I think. He was like. Telling me he wanted to hook up.' 'He WHAT!?' 'No. I mean, not with me. Like. He wants to go out and meet people.' 'He'll hate that. He's too much of a romantic.' 'Yeah, well. Whatever his name was messed him up a little, it would seem.'

✦ the way the storms blow | rbbsbb | friends to lovers - accidental voyeurism - pining - 21k Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick. That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way. Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in. Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

✦ The Frying Pan and the Fire | embro | 22k Harry is a former child star who now works at a bar. Louis is an indie artist who wants Harry to be in his new music video. Harry is a grump and Louis is too chipper. Harry is straight and Louis is openly gay. Louis is determined and persistent and at some point Harry stops denying himself.

✦ But When We Kiss... | indiaalphawhiskey | PWP - age difference - Sugar Daddy - strangers to lovers - daddy kink - discipline kink - spoiling kink - 8k Louis only nodded, still smiling. “Right, okay. As much fun as this has been, I really doubt the lovely heated seating of my car will dull our banter. Or...” he dragged out the ‘r’, eyes mischievous. “Are you really going to let a…” he assessed Harry. “Twenty? Twenty year gap,” he confirmed. “Be the reason you get hypothermia? Is that really the hill you want to freeze on, Mr. Principled?” –– Or, while Harry and Louis adore the chase, they find they adore each other much, much more.

✦ thinking about the t-shirt you sleep in | nonsensedarling | a/b/o - emotional hurt/comfort - mutual pining - fluff - friends to lovers - 52k Harry's alpha fraternity donates to a local thrift shop (because of Liam's latent crush on a cute beta in his lecture). Louis' financial situation (and confusing omega instincts) lead him to make some interesting fashion purchases. Lots of pizza, feelings, and not-really-lying.

✦ beautiful sound beautiful noise | delsicle | Guardian Angels - strangers to lovers - famous/not famous - hurt/comfort - light angst - fluff - 53k Louis is a washed-up pop star who has spent nearly a year hiding away from the world. Harry is a guardian angel who is assigned to live with him for the summer. Neither of them quite get what they’re expecting.

✦ once bitten and twice shy | pinkcords | friends to lovers - enemies to lovers - Christmas - angst - mild homophobia - 19k This time as his stomach rolls, there’s no doubt about it. He’s going to vomit. And if he does, it’ll be on Louis’ shoes, a nice little parting gift to go with the embarrassment he’s caused the both of them. “I’m gonna throw up,” he says just as Louis turns to look at him, blue eyes swimming with shock and confusion, and asks, “Is that true?” Or, in a rush of bravery only senior year can bring, Harry confesses his feelings in a letter to his neighbor and best friend, Louis, only for the entire school to hear it and laugh him out of their small town in Wisconsin. Ten years later, Harry's a successful lawyer at Columbia Records, coming home for Christmas for the first time since he departed for college. He plans to work his way through the trip, eat his mom's cooking, and avoid everyone from his past for as long as possible. The only problem is best laid plans hardly ever go as intended.

✦ You Smell Like | mystic_believexx | pack dynamics - werewolves - human pack member - soulmates - friends to lovers - kid fic - scenting - 185k For her part, Jay took everything in her stride, barely batting an eyelid when Louis came into the kitchen the night Harry left and said, “I seem to have accidentally become the pack’s Alpha”. Ever since Harry left town, Louis’ found himself with the role of pack Alpha, despite being human. So he can’t wait to hand over the reins when Harry returns. Except, it’s not quite that simple… OR The one where Louis is the Alpha’s mate and everyone is aware of it except for Louis and Harry. Go figure!

✦ Strangers in Love | sweetums | slow burn - amnesia - car accidents - angst - light dom/sub - enemies to lovers - 42k Louis wakes up to find himself in a marriage with the last man he thought he'd ever end up with.

✦ Just Let Me Adore You | lovelarry10 | kid fic - fluff - single parents - famous/not famous - Christmas - strangers to lovers - 26k When Louis’ daughter presents him with a Christmas gift far beyond the price range of a four year old, he jumps to the worst of conclusions. He’s pleasantly surprised when he finds out how she isn’t as naughty as he thought she was, and who came to her rescue..

✦ Looking for something dumb to do | rainbowslovehl (Larrymateforlife) | meet-cute - marriage proposal - fluff - 4k Louis somehow gets coerced into accepting a challenge to propose to his crush. Somehow, the night doesn't end in a disaster.

✦ Meet Me Underneath The Mistletoe | 4ureyesonly28 | christmas - fluff - 9k Louis flies out to Chicago for business just before Christmas... His flight home is cancelled because of a snow storm and he ends up going to his colleague Niall's Christmas party where he meets the most gorgeous man he's ever seen. And if they end up under the mistletoe within less than an hour then that's nobody's business but theirs.

✦ Just Say Yes | GMTYUniverse | fake relationship - fake marriage - friends to lovers - university - 19k “Well, given that I’ve run all out of options - I’d like to propose,” Louis says with a sharp grin. ‘Propose what?’ Harry questions, frown on his face. ‘Honestly Louis, you’re in trouble here and we have to find a way that’ll allow you to stay. Now’s not the time to be cryptic.’ “I’m not being cryptic – I’m proposing, here.” He sits down on one knee and quickly fashions a ring out of the hair-tie he’s still got wrapped around his wrist. “Harry Styles – please marry me and make an honest, British citizen out of me.” -- or the one where Louis and Harry fake a marriage to keep Louis in Britain, and it's suspiciously easy, until it isn't anymore.

✦ Won't You Help Me Make This Wish Come True? | DuchessKitty16 | bucket list - grandparents - 13k Harry is determined to help his grandfather Richard get through his bucket list. Problem is, #3 on the list is to "propose to the pretty girl down the lane", who just happens to be the grandmother of Louis Tomlinson, the boy Harry had a crush on as a teen. Harry and Louis work together to make dreams come true and make a love connection between their grandparents. But will some magic spark between Louis and Harry along the way?

✦ Don't Call Me Angel | larryent | a/b/o - strip clubs - stripper/exotic dancer - 16k Manhattan is a dangerous playground for the rich and entitled Alphas of New York. Those same wealthy Alphas are robbed after spending one night in the presence of a blue-eyed Omega and Officer Styles is assigned to the case.

✦ i'll be yours for christmas | rina_a | christmas - fluff - 5k My family invited you to join our holiday meal as an obvious setup and i’m so sorry.

✦ The Goat Guy of Bethlehem | lululawrence | advent fic - christmas - fluff - humor - strangers to friends to lovers - 25k “What a pretty little thing!” a voice cried, catching Harry's attention. Harry looked up, assuming it was a merchant talking to Gemma or some other “citizen” of Bethlehem, but when he did, he found a woman with bright eyes and long dark hair walking over to him. “Me?” He wasn’t sure what to expect from any of this since she wasn’t a merchant he had met before. “Yes, you! I think you’d make a very good husband for my son. Are these your parents?” “Uh, yes?” Harry said, almost like a question. Robin and his mom just watched on with amusement, much to his chagrin. Turning to Anne and Robin, the merchant woman said, “I’ll give you six goats for the marriage of your son to mine.” Or every year, Harry and his family attend a church festival called Bethlehem. Harry's freshman year of high school Bethlehem expands, bringing in new vendors, including one that just might change everything for Harry. But first, he has to see if Anne and Robin are willing to part with him for the price of a few goats.

#fic rec #28th appreciation #my reads #my fic rec #larry fics

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voidingintotheshout · 4 years ago

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December 4th: Hot Cocoa With Marshmallows

The party had gone on for three or four hours and Trevor sat eating through most of it. Pigs in a blanket, quiche, appetizers, dozens of cookies; eggnog both spiked and not. All kinds of delicious holiday treats went into his growing belly. Maybe it was the eggnog, or the shots of spiced Brandy, but by the end of the night he wasn’t even hiding his greedy gluttony anymore.

He was still a charming party guest, offering sparkling conversation to anyone who happened near, but he did notice that it was a different type of conversation. People talked to him differently. Before, they talk to him like people were talking to Jack, like you would talk to a minor celebrity. That’s what it was like when people were talking with a hot person. It was great at first, but he had just gotten so tired of it.

He thought about this as he munched on some pizza rolls they were clearly out of the box but they were filling and there were a lot of them. He felt like one way in which he could be a good party guest is to eat the foods that clearly nobody else was interested in eating. A lot of food needed to go into this belly of his so it might as will be the foods that other people weren’t competing for.

The host came over “Thank you for finishing those pizza rolls. She just gets a case of them from Costco and brings that. I have to put it out or else she will get upset but no one ever eats them. I made some of my famous hot chocolate with a bowl of marshmallows on the side to add as many as you want. I put the hot chocolate in a pitcher, so you can refill your cup as you need to. But hey, I want to say that it’s really awesome of you to get Jack to wear your old Christmas suit. He doesn’t even know what to do himself with all this extra attention. I have to ask though, why the change?”

“Honestly? I always knew that he didn’t care about how I looked, and over the previous year, I have been noticing more and more that taking care of my body was keeping me away from the man I loved. He would be taking some cooking classes and he couldn’t share any of the stuff he was making with me because it was too fattening.”

“Really?”

“Really. I was hanging out with his friends from the cooking class and he had gone to the bathroom and they were talking about some of Jack’s favorite recipes and I didn’t know any of them. At first, I thought it was just because I don’t know much about cooking but then he sheepishly mentioned that he didn’t talk about them because he didn’t want me to have to refuse to eat recipe after recipe because he didn’t want to feel like he was pressuring me to eat unhealthy food he knew I didn’t want.” Trevor sighed, and looked bashfully down. “Do you get it? Taking care of my body was causing the man I love to start keeping things from me and it was keeping me out of parts of his life that really meant something to him. Not to mention the time at the gym.” He added with an airy gesture of his hand. “There were all of the times where he just wanted a quiet night at home and chose to hang out with one of his friends instead of me because he didn’t want to keep me from the gym.”

“I see.”

“Yeah. The worst was right around Valentine’s Day, when he started to imply that it was OK if I started to check out other guys right in front of him on dates because, he felt like it only made sense for me to want a more in shape guy with a body like mine instead of his. It made me feel really bad, like I was living my life for myself. I felt like I needed to change my priorities and make him a priority in my life. I needed to make him feel like he was my priority, not my physique.” Trever smiled, holding up the mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows. “Thanks for the hot chocolate, by the way.”

“No problem, big guy. Bears are hot right now.”

“It’s all that extra fat.” Trevor said laughing as the host walked off to greet another guest.

He wondered how far he was going to take this new lifestyle that has started as a rebellion against his place in the social circle. He did this partially because he had been tired of all of the backhanded compliments about Jack behind his partner’s back. Asking Trevor if Jack had a great sense of humor, if Jack was really successful at work, or rich. Always the implication that clearly looks were not what drew Trevor to his husband. He didn’t really even care about his own looks anymore. He already had his fun being the hot younger guy and now he was settled down. Nobody at work really cared what he looked like and the guys in the gay community that cared what he, a married man looked like, were usually bad news.

The decision to start gaining weight happened around Valentine’s Day earlier that year. He had gone to dinner and dancing with his husband and while his husband was off getting drinks (whose idea had it been for Jack to be the one in the servant role in the relationship that got things for him, Trevor wondered). They have been thick as thieves all night with Trevor unable to keep his hands off his curvy beautiful husband and this morally bankrupt Twink piece of trash came over and started hitting on him on Valentine’s Day, while he was on a date with his husband. It galled Trevor that even after he said “I’m here with my husband on Valentine’s Day.“

He couldn’t believe it when that asshole replied “I can’t blame you for wanting to talk to me when your husband is looking like that. Oink oink! Am I right?” The Twink added, snickering.

Trevor was apoplectic. He grabbed a little twerp and held him about an inch in the air, his muscles rippling. “If I see you coming back here and talking to me again I swear to God I will tear your dick off and beat you to death with it. Get the fuck away from me and don’t ever say anything nasty about my husband again. He is the hottest fucking guy and he has what you will never have—class.”

“Pfft. Fine. Guess sloppy guys are your kink. I can’t compete with that. I actually exercise. Have fun fucking person pudding.” The twink said as he laughed and walked away.

Trevor glanced back and noticed that Jack was making his way back to the bar, only having eyes for him. He hated himself. What had Jack heard? What Jack said next would change Trevor’s waistline forever. “Don’t worry about it. Dating a guy as hot as you, I expect other guys to hit on you. That guy was cute. I don’t mind if sometimes you want to look. I know you’re going home with me. I love you.”

Even though he hadn’t done anything, Trevor felt like shit. He hated having to deal with assholes hitting on him and not really being respected for what he brought to the table because he was just automatically given better treatment because of his looks. He loved the fact that Jack was not even remotely interested in his physique because that didn’t play into his sexual fantasies involving Trevor or their sexual compatibility. Increasingly, Trevor didn’t even like this physique either.

They hung out at the nightclub for some pre-dinner drinks for a little bit longer and then Trevor remember that there was an amazing gourmet pizza restaurant that Jack had been wanting to go to for six months and all of a sudden it seemed like the right night to go, that Valentine’s Day date all of those months and pounds ago. “I love you too. Speaking of, I had an idea. Do you remember that gourmet pizza restaurant a couple of blocks from here that you’ve been wanting to go to for a while? Well, I know I didn’t make a New Year’s resolution this year but I think my resolution this year is to eat more carbs. You are such a great cook and I really want to start enjoying everything that you have to offer in the kitchen. Besides, I’ve had a decade to enjoy this fit trim body, I’d like to take some time to enjoy other parts of life instead of just the gym and different ways to flavor chicken breast. Would you mind if we started experimenting in the kitchen a little bit more?”

“But what about your abs and the muscle definition you worked so hard for? I thought we were going to that salad place for our Valentine’s date. That would be okay with me. I can get pizza with one of my other friends. I know how important your fit, toned physique is to you. I wouldn’t wanna mess that up.”

Now Trevor really did feel like shit. “Honestly? I’m tired of looking like this. It’s not fun anymore. I’m with you, an amazing guy that makes me happy every single day and I could be wrong but I don’t think you really care about how my body looks and I’m really tired of the negative attention that it’s getting me. I’m tired of feeling like I’m missing out on fun things in life like amazing desserts and delicious pizza because I need to watch my calories and carbs. I’m tired of it. How would you feel if I just let go of my restrictive nutrition regimen and just started eating whatever I felt like with you. Would you mind?“

Ever so quietly, Jack whispered “actually, I’ve often fantasized about you being bigger. Softer. More comfortable. I knew how important fitness was when we started dating, so I was happy for you being big with muscles; but you being big with muscles and curves would be really hot I think. The pizza is really good there. Also, if you put on a little weight then we might be able to wear some of the same clothes.”

Right then, Trevor decided that they would be able to wear some of the same clothes because soon Trevor was going to get bigger and fatter than Jack had ever been and Jack would have his own wardrobe and Trevor’s old wardrobe to choose from. “I’m definitely going to be making a pig of myself there. I might get a whole pizza for myself.”

“You should! Indulge. Be bad. Weak. Let the whole restaurant see that you don’t have any self-control. That you can’t stop yourself.”

Trevor smiled. “Let’s get pizza. I’m feeling hungry.”

Suddenly, he was shaken from his reverie by Jack. He was pulled out of the memories of that amazing Valentine’s Day date and back to the Christmas party, where he found that he had been absentmindedly eating the whole time he’d been daydreaming. “Hey pig. I think it’s hot that you’re stuffing food into your mouth with your hands, off in your own world over here, but our friends are starting to stare. Maybe we can dance and chitchat with our friends before you eat yourself into a coma?”

Even though his body was getting soft, something was getting hard, And both men knew it. Trevor’s plate was now empty plate in a nearby trashcan and he accepted the waiting hand of his sexy husband who lovingly heaved him up off of the chair so they could dance to some of their favorite songs, body against the body. Firm against flesh. It was a good life.

#25daysofchubmas #chubmas #original fiction #gainer fiction #trevor and jack

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scmyr · 5 years ago

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luka sabbat. cis male. he/him. ／ samyr delcine just pulled up james joint by rihanna — that song is so them ! you know, for a(n) twenty-four (24) year old retired actor / singer and rapper, i’ve heard they’re really -temperamental, but that they make up for it by being so +creative. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say smoke filled recording studios, messy handwriting, tattoos. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble ! ( LJ, 20, est, they/them )

career claim: roddy ricch, dababy, the weeknd

hey y’all! guess who’s back at it again with a new muse? it’s LJ, @kcia‘s mun, and this is my second baby, samyr. i’ve actually had this idea in mind for a while, and i’m finally bringing him into fruition. if you’d like to plot with him, just drop a like on this post!

basics.

NAME: samyr delcine. PRONOUNS: he/him AGE: twenty-four. BIRTH DATE: july 16th, 1995. BIRTH PLACE: port-au-prince, haiti. HOMETOWN: compton, california. CURRENT RESIDENCE: los angeles, california. NATIONALITY: haitian-american. ETHNICITY: afro-haitian, unidentified white side. RELIGION: non practicing christian. OCCUPATION: singer, rapper, songwriter, producer, retired actor. LANGUAGES: haitian-creole (native), haitian-french (native), english (fluent). SEXUAL ORIENTATION: confused. ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: confused.

visual.

FACECLAIM: luka sabbat. EYE COLOR: dark brown. HAIR COLOR: dark brown. HEIGHT: 6 feet, 1 inch. WEIGHT: 149 pounds. TATTOOS: here, here, here. PIERCINGS: ears. NOTABLE TRAITS: lips, height, hair.

background.

he was born in port-au-prince, haiti to a single mother. he never met his father because his father was someone that his mother hooked up with while she was studying in the states. it was her last year in college and she didn’t know she was pregnant until she was about three months along. she took a year off and went back home so she could have him. she considered putting him up for adoption, but as soon as he was born and she looked into his eyes, she “fell in love with him and couldn’t part from him”, or that’s what she always tells samyr.

when he was six years old and his mother was twenty-seven, she decided to go back to school and get her degree. she spent the first six years of his life working two full time jobs and a part time job just so she could provide for him and save money at the same time. after she saved enough money, she packed up their things and moved them to america, california to be exact, so she could graduate and get a better paying job. she finished up her criminal justice degree and got a job working as a law clerk while she put herself through law school. she finally graduated, passed the bar exam, and now she’s a highly sought after criminal attorney in the states.

his childhood was a hard, yet happy time for him. hard because he and his mother lived in california while his mother worked for a very low salary. it was difficult for them to make ends meet, especially when she was still in school. even though she eventually became an extremely wealthy lawyer (she started making money around the time samyr was fifteen, but by then he was already making money from his show), things were hard at first. he was still a happy kid though. his mother gave him a lot of love, and he had friends and a cute puppy named chichi (she’s still alive, with her old ass ;-;)

samyr’s first taste of the spot light was at a young age. he did a little bit of modeling for stores and brands, but didn’t really get his big break until he was 12 and landed one of the lead roles of a children’s sitcom. he loved acting when he first started doing it, and worked hard for the several seasons that he was apart of the show before it ended. he was nineteen when the show ended. he did cameos on other shows, and acted in a few movies during the course of the show too.

he’s a very passionate and dedicated person, but once he’s finished with something and wipes his hands clean of it, he’s finished indefinitely. he felt as though after several years of acting on one show and doing other acting jobs, that he was ready to bring to a close the chapter of acting in his life. he enjoyed it, still does, but he wanted to pour all of his time and effort into the next aspect of his life - music.

he had actually started getting into music around the middle of his show’s run. he had been in the industry for a while and started making friends with musicians who had introduced him to the art of music. he quickly fell in love with it, not just singing and rapping, but the technical aspects of the music industry as well - producing, sound mixing, composition, e.t.c.

he released his first music project while he was still acting. it was in 2011, and it was a mixtape that he dropped out of the blue. people didn’t know who it was at first because he just dropped it on soundcloud and his account wasn’t under his own name. but some fans ended up doing some digging and made the connection.

after that, he would occasionally drop music projects here and there (i’ll eventually make a little timeline of his music releases, more so for my own means of keeping track, but to also give you guys an idea of what he’s released so far!)

now he focuses primarily on music. overall, his sound and lyrics are explicit, but there are still two sides to him - the ‘hard’ side (dababy, roddy ricch) and his softer side (the weeknd). he likes having that kind of duality, because it gives him the freedom to explore himself as a musician.

personality

he’s a very hard worker, and extremely prideful. he doesn’t like accepting help from others, especially if he thinks they’re pitying him. he and his mother used to get a lot of “offers” of help, which were honestly just people feeling sorry for them, which he absolutely hated. he doesn’t even like asking for help when he knows he needs it. if you ever catch him asking for help, you best believe it’s because it’s his very last resort.

if samyr’s face and name weren’t connected to his music, no one would even think that he was the one rapping and singing on his tracks. a lot of his music has explicit sexual innuendos and undertones, and holds a little aggression from time to time. it’s a complete contrast to samyr’s lowkey personality. what most people don’t know is that writing music is his outlet. he doesn’t get frustrated or angry (most of the time) because when he feels those things, he channels it into his writing.

that being said, he does have a little bit of a temper. it’s something that his mother says he gets from his grandfather, a man he had never met because he passed away before his birth. he has a high tolerance for things, but if he’s pushed over the edge, he gets black out angry. he hates that though, which is why he stays ‘medicated’ most of the time (lmao he stays high)

he’s so deep in the closet that he’s finding christimas presents. he knows that there’s nothing wrong with being gay, he’s an avid supporter of the lgbtq+ on social media platforms and such, but it’s just something that he struggles to accept about himself. his mother is very open minded, but he has a lot of family members who aren’t, and he doesn’t want them to disown him.

kinda gets angry/upset if his own sexuality is brought up? maybe not really angry or upset, but just really defensive? again, finding christmas presents lol

very particular with and protective of his hair lol has definitely smacked a few people’s hands for trying to touch it

wanted connections

girl(s) that he’s dated in the past to as a way to somehow force himself to be straight. most of them ended due to him not being able to fully invest himself emotionally. we can discuss if they’re on good/bad terms!

a few best friends, he definitely needs those

if anyone has a muse that has songs with a male rapper featured, samyr’s your guy

the first guy he’s ever kissed

relatives on his father’s side (he just recently started searching for his father, so it’d be interesting if he had cousins or half siblings around!)

someone that he confides in about his sexuality

a guy who helps him explore his sexuality

pr relationship(s)

pr friendship(s)

media fueled rivalry

enemies

frenemies

celebrity friends that are always seen out together (events, award shows, sports games, out shopping, e.t.c)

literally anything?? i’m open to anything and everything!

#excess:intro #this got a little long whoops lmao #mun.

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ginalover · 5 years ago

Photo

Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon Revisit Their Lesbian Neo-Noir “Bound”

By Maureen Lee Lenker

Photos By Austin Hargrave for ET

June 06, 2019

Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly aren’t fans of watching themselves on screen — but they’ll make an exception for their 1996 film, Bound.

The Matrix masterminds the Wachowskis made their directorial debut with this noir about two women — femme fatale Violet (Jennifer Tilly) and ex-con Corky (Gina Gershon) — who fall in love and team up to steal $2 million from Violet’s mobster boyfriend, Caesar (Joe Pantoliano).

Bound only made $3.8 million domestically upon its release, but it quickly became a cult classic in the gay community — long before each of the Wachowskis came out as transgender — and it catapulted the siblings to the highest echelons of directors.

We got Gershon, 57, and Tilly, 60 back together at Bibo Ergo Sum, a swanky bar with all the art deco vibes befitting these two femme fatales. There, the actresses vamped it up for a photo shoot, including recreating the iconic Sophia Loren-Jayne Mansfield shot, and had the time of their lives reminiscing as they rewatched the movie together. The enduring warmth of their friendship and their outrageous, heartfelt memories left us fit to be tied.

In the first scene, Violet and Corky share a sultry glance in an elevator, and a palpable connection is born — in fact, it’s still present today in their offscreen friendship.

Gina Gershon (Corky): My agents didn’t want me to do it. Literally, I was told, “You are ruining your career doing this movie. We will not let you do this movie.” I never get to play the hero and to get the chick. I mean, it’s the typical part that I’ve watched my whole life, and it’s never been a woman. I left my agents over it. Jennifer Tilly (Violet): I wanted my hair to have a violet sheen, so it’s black but if you see it in the correct light, it’s very dark. I got this nail polish. It had just come out, and I went into Chanel and they said, “Oh, we only have one bottle. We’re saving it [for] somebody, but they were supposed to pick it up yesterday. We’re going to sell it to you.” It was called “Vamp.” All my makeup is like shades of violet, like my lipstick is purple-y. Gershon: I was coming right off of Showgirls, and I was so ultra femme in that. [I cut] all my nails and my hair off, and I started boxing. I had been dancing for five months, so I was so floaty and I wanted to be in my body more like a boxer…Marlon Brando, Monty Clift, Robert Mitchum. I went to all those guys. There’s a certain quietness. I wanted to be like all the guys I project [my ideas of heroism and masculinity] on to. Tilly: It was a classic film noir, except instead of the lead being a male, it was Corky. A studio offered the [Wachowskis] a lot more money to make the movie, but they said that they had to make Corky a man. Gershon: As soon as I met Jen, I thought, “Oh my God, all I have to do is watch her.” She was so amusing and so fun. It’s just so easy to watch her, like her butt and her legs. It made my job easy to kind of objectify her. We liked each other as soon as we met. Tilly: Once they got the two of us in the room, I thought, “This is a girl that I can really see being in a relationship with.” Gershon: You’re the really, truly the only real actress I’ve stayed friends with…

Rattled by her attraction to Violet, Corky goes to a lesbian bar to try to pick up a date as a distraction. It fails though, and Corky stews at home alone while playing her Jew’s Harp.

Tilly: This scene here it was all [advisor and feminist sex writer] Susie Bright’s friends. That’s why the bar scene is so authentic — it’s all lesbians. Gershon: Susie Bright, she was supposed to take me around. The Wachowskis thought it was important that I meet her. She was an authority figure, and [a writer] in the lesbian community. I was really excited to talk to her. Tilly: I never met her. She was pretty much advising Gina. And the thing is, Gina’s character is a lot more hardcore lesbian than Violet. Gershon: We [Gershon and Bright] were going to go cruising around San Francisco. When I got there she couldn’t do it, so she pointed me in the right direction to go to certain bars [on my own]. I just went out and felt the vibe and met people. I actually had a really fun night [Laughs]. I’m definitely not talking about what happened. Just that I felt a lot more confident by the time I got back to L.A. Tilly: She’d come in and she’d be like, “Uh, you know, we need to come up with a new pick-up line. I tried that pick-up line on some chick last night, it didn’t work.” Gershon: I just thought I’d be inspired. I certainly was inspired with tattoos and stuff. I ended up choosing my own tattoos and where I wanted them and all that stuff. Tilly: Somebody said, “Oh, you know, females don’t have any sex organs.” [Susie] goes, “Yes we do; it’s called a hand.” So they did do a lot of shots of hands. Gershon: I really liked the hip [tattoo] that wrapped around my hip and crept up. You saw the top of it coming out of my pants sometimes. I thought that was really sexy. I had seen that on some girl at a bar, and I was like, “Oh that’s hot.” Tilly: That’s also her Jew’s Harp. Gershon: I’m always trying to get my Jew’s Harp in anything! It was the only movie I’ve ever actually had it in there…I needed something in my hands, and I liked the idea of when she’s thinking about the plan, to have something in my hand.

Violet asks Corky, who is at the apartment complex doing plumbing work, to help her fetch an earring she dropped down the sink. It turns out to be a seduction ploy and the two share a steamy first kiss.

Gershon: I’m doing the pipes. I was a little paranoid. I’m definitely not good at any of that stuff, so I just needed to be convincing…I kind of got into it. It’s so dirty and messy, and you’re shoving this thing in the plug. It was fun. I just wanted to look cool, like I knew what I was doing. I liked all the physical activity. It just made me feel like I was doing all the things that I wish I knew in real life. I remember my mom said, “You’re a really good actress.” I asked, “Why?” She said, “Because I believed the plumbing stuff.” Tilly: Look at this, we’re like equals. You know I’m full of s–t; I know that you know I’m full of s–t. We both know what you’re here for. Gershon: Look at your body. Honestly, whenever I wasn’t sure of what I was doing I would just stare at your chest. Tilly: Method actor. [Laughs] The Wachowskis wanted [an] extreme close-up of our lips. We finished shooting the scene, and the Wachowskis had to get a special camera that cost an extra $10,000. The dailies were coming in looking so good, [producer Dino De Laurentiis] finally got [it for them]. So, we went back and shot that — just a close up on our lips. We were a little nervous. I remember Gina was like, “The camera’s going to look up my nose!” But it’s such a beautiful shot. Gershon: I’m so comfortable feeling your boobs. Tilly: This scene where I take her finger — I just thought, “Oh, [I’ll] put it in my mouth!” I improvised that. She’s like, “Oh, where’s this finger going? Oh, it’s not going south, it’s going north. Ok, now it’s going south.”

Later that night, Violet comes to Corky’s truck to apologize for all the things she “didn’t do” to Corky that afternoon, and they kiss again.

Gershon: “I hate women who apologize for sex” — That’s a truthful line. I do hate women who apologize for sex. Why should they be like, “Oh my God, I’m sorry I really like this.” I thought it was a very smart line, because it was truthful, you know? Tilly: [Of all our romantic scenes together, we filmed this kissing scene first.] I had never kissed a girl before, onscreen or off. And I was a little bit nervous. Gershon: I brought her tequila and chocolate before our first scene that we were fooling around. Tilly: I was in my trailer like “an actress prepares,” and I hear, “Knock-knock, I got tequila and chocolate.” Gershon: I said, “Here’s your preparation.” Tilly: We actually had to reshoot that scene, but they said, “Not because you girls were drinking.” There was a problem with the camera work.

They go back to Corky’s apartment and have sex.

Tilly: A lot of times, as a young actress in Hollywood, you read the love scene, and it seems like the writer is just getting himself off. Like writing three pages of porn. When you’re reading this, it was very matter of fact. Gershon: [The Wachowskis] knew every angle, every cut. They came from doing graphic novels so they really had it in their heads. Tilly: They didn’t want it to be a man’s version. There’s a male version of what lesbians are, and you see it in the soft-core porn movies all the time. They really wanted to get it right. They wanted to be very respectful of the lesbian community. They wanted it to be very, very authentic and raw, not pornographic. Although it was pornographic because we’re hot. [Laughs] Gershon: It was like the four of us having sex. It was like: “Foot! Wall! Head!” It was so choreographed. The camera [is] moving around, and you have one wall go up, another wall went down. Tilly: They wanted to do it in one long continuous shot. They had guys pulling at the walls. It was like a ballet between the Wachowskis, the crew, [and us]. [They’d be] yelling through the megaphone, “Breast!” and then we knew the breast was in frame. Gershon: I knew I had to curl [my toes] on cue. I think it could have been a little bit more connected to an orgasm or to a sexual feeling. I felt it was more a mechanical thing. [But] it was very fluid. No pun intended. Tilly: Gina is like the coolest person to ever do a love scene with. She was playful. I would be like, “Can you put your hand here so my cellulite doesn’t show? Can you prop my breast to make it look a little more plump?” Gershon: In between takes, we’d talk about shoe [shopping], and we were laughing so hard. Tilly: Gina had weights on the set, so before a scene she would work out [with] weights to make her muscles [bigger]. Gershon: Every guy actor I’ve ever seen on set does pushups and stuff if he doesn’t have his shirt on. I was like, “Oh this is what the dudes do, so this is what I’m going to do,” because it kind of pumps your arms up. It’s all very macho too. You know Corky had a lot of armor on, she was very protective of herself. The more I could feel that, the better I felt as Corky. Tilly: We had a lot of problems. We almost got a NC-17. Gershon: There was one take that all four of us were like, “That’s the one.” It was like a real love scene. You didn’t see a boob. You didn’t see anything; it was all suggested. It really played on our face more than anything. Tilly: You can see my fingers on her crotch. You see nothing; you see a hand! Gershon: It was the emotionality. Tilly: [The rating board] said, “It looks like they’re really doing it.” And the [Wachowskis] go, “Let me get this straight. If the girls weren’t such good actresses, you wouldn’t have a problem?” They were embarrassed, and they said, “Yes.” Gershon: God forbid we have these two women actually in love. We had to go with the “f—ing” scene. In the “f—ing” scene, they were really going at it, and it wasn’t as emotional. They were okay with that, which is bulls–t. Tilly: The Wachowskis said, “It’s homophobia, pure and simple.” The shot that we used was so much more elegant. This one’s a lot more graphic. They sprayed more sweat on us. In the last part of the scene, my boob accidentally fell into frame, like, “I want to be on camera too!”

After making a connection, Violet floats the idea of stealing $2 million from her mobster boyfriend Caesar (Joe Pantoliano), which he has left drying all over the apartment after a job gone wrong doused the money in blood. The scene cuts between Violet and Corky as they plot and the action of their plan unfolding in real time.

Tilly: There was a scene where Corky’s putting in all her little burglar tools [in her ears], and they intercut it with me putting on my lipstick and my mascara. The Wachowskis said, “Those are your tools. Those are Violet’s tools and [those are] Corky’s tools. This is how Corky gets by, by stealing, and this is how Violet gets by, by painting her face.”…Afterwards, they sold all the stuff. You go over to Joey’s house, and it’s like the set. He even bought the wallpaper and put it in the hallways.

Violet convinces Caesar that fellow mobster Johnnie (Christopher Meloni) stole the $2 million, leading to a sudden bloodbath in their apartment, as he kills both Johnnie and mob boss Gino (Richard C. Sarafian).

Tilly: There was also another shot that they wanted — when the head of the mafia gets shot, they said they wanted him to fall like a mighty oak in the forest. The stunt person said, “Nobody can fall that way, it’s too dangerous.” They had to get another $20,000 dollars from Dino De Laurentiis. They created this machine that was like a lever. So, they put him on the machine and then the lever went backward so when he falls, he falls straight back…Christopher Meloni and everyone, they’re shooting [the place] up, the [Wachowskis] wanted me to duck behind the bar. And I thought, “Oh, here’s where she can show ice water doesn’t run in [her] veins.” So I was going to do a thing like, “Oh she’s remembering when she was three and her mother shot her dad.” I thought This is a really good time for me to lose it. Like, “Oh my God, oh my God!” And they peak behind the bar, and they go, “What the f–k? Jennifer, what are you doing?” And I’m like, “Oh, I feel like I should be very upset here!” And they go, “No. Everything’s going according to plan. You planned it. You’re waiting for it to be over so you can move on to the next step of your plan.”

After Caesar murders his associates, including a mob boss, he realizes Violet has two-timed him and finds Corky next door. They fight; he ties Corky up and dumps her in the closet. But eventually, in the most metaphorical shot, she busts out, and the trio face-off in a final showdown, which Violet ends by shooting Caesar in cold blood.

Tilly: You’ve got to really adore your costar and have a good relationship and a trusting relationship because it’s a really violent scene…[Gina] sprained her wrist or finger or something like that. But you got to go for broke. You can’t be precious, you know? You’re doing fight scenes. You kind of have to go for it. Gershon: I definitely got whacked, and it hurt, but it was an annoying thing because I was just like, “I just need some ice.” But then there’s all this brouhaha on the set with insurance. They’re like, “Oh no, you have to go check it at the hospital.” I didn’t want to leave the set. It definitely hurt, but it would have been fine with ice. I didn’t need stitches or anything. I guess they needed to check that I didn’t break anything, which I didn’t. I just felt really guilty having to leave the set, and I was like, “We don’t have time for me to leave the set right now.” You’re bound to get a little bruised here and there. Not a big deal. Tilly: Oh! She explodes out of the closet! Gershon: I kick out the closet door. It was symbolic for so many women. The whole idea of coming out of the closet. It was very satisfying and very heartwarming. Many girls have come up and said that it helped them come out. It helped change their lives, and that’s really meaningful. Tilly: [The moment where I kill Caesar], they were saying like, “This is a Terminator, ‘I’ll be back’ moment.” Caesar goes, “You don’t want to hurt me. I know you don’t.” And she goes, “Caesar, you don’t know s–t.” They consciously put that in to be like an “I’ll be back” moment and they said, “That’s the Terminator moment when she says that.” It’s also really interesting in terms of some of the underlying themes that men think they know what women want.

Violet and Corky’s plot succeeds, and they ride off into the sunset together in the brand new red truck Corky bought with their money. All to the tune of Tom Jones’ “She’s a Lady.”

Tilly: That was my dress. Those are my earrings. That’s my watch. I wore pretty much all my own clothes…After the movie, I gave some of the clothes to my sister. The dress, in the last scene, she shows up wearing it [one time] and I’m like, “You know how many lesbians would love to get their hands on that dress. That’s an artifact! It should be in a museum!” She’s like, “It’s my favorite dress!” Gershon: I love the end. I get the chick. I get a car. I get the money. You know what I mean? I was like a real hero. It’s not often, especially at that point, that the women get to be heroes. Those are always the guy’s part. I was just psyched. I’m like, “Hey, I got my girl. I’ve got a new car. We’re gonna go off into the sunset.” It was very satisfying. Tilly: When Gina goes, “Beep-beep” [and we see her new car]. In the audience, everyone laughs. I’m like, “Why is everyone laughing?” And they’re like, “That’s what every guy does when they get some money; they buy a red truck.” Gershon: I was pushing Sinatra, “The Best Is Yet to Come”. I was hearing that in my head, and I think they were toying with that, but then this is what they went with which was great. I mean you can’t go wrong with Tom Jones. Tilly: We had to reshoot the last scene too because, when they were driving away, you could see palm trees reflected in the windshield. Gershon: We always joked about what happens with the sequel. I think they had to split up when the mob was on them, and Violet ends up with some other rich guy at some point. Corky had to leave in order to protect Violet. They struggle, but I think they always come through, you know? Tilly: Everyone’s positive that they’re so in love, and they’re going to live happily ever after, but I really think in Violet’s nature, she’s a predator. I do not think it’s going to end well. Violet’s in love with Corky, but she’s very damaged and I just don’t think it’s going to be like one of those, “50 years ago, we met cute,” you know? Gershon: I’m really proud of this movie, probably more than any other film I’ve done. These women are sexy and they’re smart. They outsmart the bad guys. And they’re funny and witty. They were into each other; they didn’t need a man to help them. That was all a combination no one had really seen before. These parts weren’t around a lot. Tilly: I did have so many girls come up to me — and so many drag queens saying their drag name was Violet. It really made me feel, in a weird way, like I had a responsibility when all these girls would come up to me and say that they came out of the closet and realized they were gay after they saw this film. Gershon: [When we were making it], I kept thinking, “What do you guys, [the Wachowskis] know about being women? How did you write this thing?” And little did I know, at the time, they were really feeling something. They really were feeling bound up inside. So, it became that the metaphor had a deeper meaning. It wasn’t like, “Oh, aren’t they clever writers.” I thought, “Wow, they were going through this, and the world didn’t know.”

Celebrate 50 years of gay pride with Entertainment Weekly’s special LGBTQ double issue, on stands Friday. You can buy all six covers now, or purchase your individual favorites featuring Anderson Cooper, Wilson Cruz, Melissa Etheridge, Neil Patrick Harris, Janet Mock, and Ruby Rose.

#gina gershon #jennifer tilly #bound #PRIDE #entertainment weekly #are you kidding me look at these queens #please please make that sequel i'm begging

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