#ask me how I know

[omega-puppy]

if you’re talking to someone and they ask you “are you allergic or have any dietary restrictions? I wanna make you food” that person is an omega, you are being accepted into their circle.

[bluest-fluff]

Wishing all of you a very "finding people who openly love and cherish you for all the things you were once shamed or hurt for"

While also reminding you that you must first be that person for yourself, if you're to break the pattern of tolerating people who continue to harm you that way.

[thelonelyshore-if]

nooo I have really bad circulation + terrible body temp regulation so I'm already always oscillating between cold and overheated, now ravi is just gonna make me suffer MORE?? 😭

What can I say? He's cold, and being cold makes you evil.

[jenosbigtoe]

jaemin loves giving head, jeno loves getting head

[eveningrelics]

In my experience, good people don't have to convince others that they're good people.

And if they ever bring up the fact that they are a good person because they donate to a charity to show a moral high ground? You run.

That is abuser tactic 101.

This is not a joke.

If a person feels a need to push how they are a better person because they donate to stuff, I have not once ever seen it be anything but a smoke screen to hide predatory behavior.

Small note, for good people, young ones, those with self esteem issues, needing validation from time to time is normal, okay, and perfectly understandable. The comments are about those who shut down criticism of their behavior because "I can't be bad, I've done this thing"

Which ignores... literally how abusers in power... abuse in power. And also how abusers in marginalized groups can weaponize their vulnerability to exploit others.

No group is exempt from having abusers. Being vulnerable does not give you a free pass to hurt others. Abusers will twist the narrative whatever their background to justify their behavior.

Abusers will say they can't hurt you as much as someone else could hurt them as an attempt to isolate their victim and make someone feel guilty for reporting their behavior.

Abusers will say they can't be a bad person because they also do some good things, as if they can buy a pass or token to get to abuse someone else.

Do not ever feel bad for reporting someone abusing or harassing you online.

Our online communities are not losing anything of value when abusers get banned.

The difference between being rightfully pissed when people are unfairly banned over shit censorship online and someone being banned for stalking and death threats is night and day, but abusers aren't going to admit to doing the second either, generally. They're going to cry the first. Because their image is all they have.

[dimity-lawn]

Self care is not sewing when you know you’re too tired to do so.

[russenoire]

rewatching the first season and it hit me...

...so, so much of mob's apparent gullibility is simply his having lost any sense of self-trust since ???% first broke free and nearly made him an only child. he does not, cannot, trust his own perceptions and feelings anymore, so he turns to reigen or tome or... anyone but himself. when i realized what i was seeing, it broke my heart.

for folks traumatized as kids, it's not uncommon to defer to anyone and everyone around them for a sense of what is real and true, or to feel/act as if they never got the memo on how to be a person.

BUT.

he knows how shady the (LOL) cult actually is; you can see it in his facial expressions on stage before ekubo-sama first appears. he asserts himself again with teru upon meeting him, and with his little brother when he lashes out.

it amazes me just how much of the kid's will still remains.

[arctic-hands]

til I learned acrylic paints expire 😠

[thresholdbb]

Why is one of the rules keep your shirt tucked in? They wear jumpsuits

[meyerlansky]

anyway, the way to encourage more of what you want to see in fannish spaces is and has ALWAYS been to make more of that thing and joyfully celebrate others who are also making that thing

saying "x is bad/lesser/whatever" won't make x stop existing. it'll just make people who enjoy x feel bad, which does not necessarily lead to less x, because for every "oh no i should stop doing x" reaction there will be a "fuck you, i'm gonna do x HARDER AND MORE NOW" reaction too

[thotsoflore]

so it turns out that you can in fact notice erectile tissue fairly soon after vaginoplasty. It's also apparently really uncomfortable when a cute girl sends you nudes and you immediately start thinking of all the ways she could rail you.

[apostate-in-an-alcove]

Listen, if you ever find a little voice in your head debating whether or not to rid yourself of any Beatles memorabilia, ignore it, that's the devil talking.

[dust-sound]

Something I haven't seen said about House's chronic pain, and where it intersects with AuDHD:

Somatic sensations count as sensory input. Dude is in or on the cusp of sensory overload like, all of the time.

[featherfurl]

Control Bias

Our drive to over-attribute the significance of small mistakes as the causal source of painful or traumatic outcomes when they may have played either a small role or no role at all. Attribution vortex: The state of prolonged grief and shock where we try to regain a sense of safety by over-attributing the power we can attain by avoiding small mistakes, which we now inaccurately see as big mistakes. I made up these phrases, but I wasn't able to find pre-existing analogues that expressed this specific experience and its dangers. I'd love to know if there's prior vocabulary in common use for this.

[standupcomedyhistorian]

Bo Burnham in 2018 with Douglas Rushkoff:

To me, the most embarrassing people right now are 30 years old. Like the most embarrassing people on the Internet are 30 year olds that like are trying to reconcile the two sides [real world and online], and they just come off incredibly embarrassingly.

Bo Burnham in 2021:

[russenoire]

For the fruit emoji ask game, please! 🍈 and or 🍇

🍈 who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

kageyama shigeo. i... identify with him a normal amount. (on the surface, i actually have more in common with his brother! the former 'gifted' kid struggle is real)

he has genetic anemia (thalassemia minor). shigeo keeps up his strength with weightlifting at home and night jogs around his neighborhood on a regular basis, in addition to a balanced diet. he can't work out fasted; he'll pass out. he's also frequently cold, though all the muscle he's built up over time helps some.

i don't think he'd be a stress eater. his appetite would be the first thing to go under duress... except for milk, hot or cold. if he's really stressed out? a cigarette, more for the smell than the taste (he thinks they taste awful; this is why they're a last resort).

he's a salaryman who works for his city government in the urban planning department. his specialty? traffic accident prevention.

i think shigeo is actually a pretty sharp guy when he applies himself, or when an issue is particularly meaningful for him, hence his life's work. he also has a sizable amount of emotional intelligence. since The Incident™ he's gained a reputation for working harmoniously with 'difficult' people. though his current kōhai (subordinate) is testing his limits a bit...

he's got a bit of a prankster streak, though not on the level of someone like his confidant hanazawa teruki. his is more understated: a deadpan, a snarky quip, a seized opportunity to rattle someone's nerves on the spot. as you can imagine, that and the above bullet point are not infrequently at odds.

he still wrestles with big emotions. sometimes they overwhelm him. over the years, he's come up with a few ways to deal: cloudsitting; jogging; cooking or eating a good meal; silent moments with his own thoughts, often sitting upside-down in midair, or upside-down sprawled over the back of his sofa; cuddling with teruki, with or without conversation; deep chats with loved ones in general; getting a good massage from his old shishou on occasion; earplugs or a blindfold or soft, wispy textures on his skin.

i see him as a fastidious minimalist, almost to the point of asceticism. he owns only what he needs and uses and no more. i think over time he'd either make adjustments to help others feel more comfortable in his home... or refuse to change anything at all. perhaps both at different times in his life.

while he and teruki do share a fairly deep and cuddly intimacy, at this point in his life he's single and content with that.

most of these show up in my post-canon mp100 fics on ao3. i have more in the works, i promise.