#but he is captain dad

[loosethreadsofyoursoul]

[yeyinde]

John deciding to blow off steam by subscribing to a cute camgirl's onlyfans account and quickly becoming the top contributor. a harmless way to relax, and spoil a pretty girl with gifts and money, the sort of thing he doesn't have time for in his personal life but craves. hungers for. pays for lingerie and toys, private shows and videos. eagerly devours any time she has to spare on him, but the more he gets to know her, the more obsessed he becomes. the more possessive. wanting. monopolizing all of her time so that she never has a minute to spare on others.

and then she sends him a birthday video. congrats on your fortieth, she whispers into the camera, wearing the ensemble he bought for her. a mould of his cock in her hands, a whim he decided to go for after she pouted at him for a few minutes about how she wanted to feel him inside of her. or a (not so) cheap imitation, anyway. it's good. so good. she's perfect. and all his for tonight.

but she makes a mistake. his kitten is so good at hiding her face, her features. keeping herself a mystery. but as she gives him the sexiest performance he's ever seen, she slips up. shows more of herself than she wants to.

wish i could say happy birthday in person, she winks at him through the cheap plastic of her mask. a fox. isn't she coy? but it's an invitation he won't turn down.

after all, it'd be rude not to give the cute little secretary that greets him every morning exactly what she asked for, wouldn't it?

[crystallizedtwilight]

When Shanks adopted Uta Buggy was very much “this is your project” but she quickly grew on him and soon Buggy was helping here and there behind the scenes.

[angel5ofp0rn]

♡ part one ♡

ExHusband!Price x f!reader

been thinking ab this post 4ever and need to get it out tbh.

**I’ve never done something like this b4 and I haven’t proofread so pls be nice 2 me ._. **

You have been divorced from your ex husband John Price for two years. Still, he comes over and shovels your driveway for you every time it snows.

He’s come inside and warmed up in the mudroom nearly every 15-20 minutes, puffing hot breath into his hands and rubbing them together for warmth before stepping back out and shoveling again.

You meet him in the mudroom for his fourth warm-up break and hand him a mug of hot coffee. Dash of cream, one sugar.

“Still how you take your coffee, right?” You offer a small smile, hugging your arms around yourself as John takes a sip from the mug.

“Still the same.” He nods before he takes another sip, the small smile that had appeared at the corner of his mouth quickly fading.

He leans up against the doorframe, the shovel leaning against the wall next to him. He peers out of the door's window, checking over his work.

“I'll get goin' soon enough. It ain't snowing right now, the drive's nearly clear.”

You thank him again, even though you never asked him to do this in the first place. You can’t help but look up at him, meeting his blue eyes for just a moment.

Before he could reply, your two children came running around the corner cheering and squealing when they saw their dad.

John's smile brightens at their presence, his body language immediately softening as he squatted down to their level.

“Hey, my little monkeys. Come give yer ol’ dad a hug.” He opens his arms out wide, inviting both of them to come to him. It doesn't take long before they both go crashing into him, squealing, smiling. Their giggles filled the small room.

You just smile. Even if you and John aren’t always on the best of terms, you can’t deny that he’s a great father.

“Daddy’s cold.” Your youngest shivers a bit from hugging their dad, who still had snow on his clothes and frost on his beard from shoveling.

John tries to shrug it off, but you ask him to stay and warm up for a while.

For the kids, of course.

Plus dinner is nearly ready, and you definitely made too much for just you and the kids, anyway.

More cheering, more squealing, more giggling as John finally agrees and kicks his boots off, hanging his coat on the hook.

John’s blue eyes scan the new decor and different paintings on the wall, but he doesn’t comment on how much the place has changed since he moved out.

After dinner, the two of you stand in the doorway as you watch the kids play together in their playroom, that used to be John’s “man cave”.

“They're gonna make you tuck them in.” You mention, sipping your glass of wine.

John smiles, a casual shrug of his shoulders.

“Maybe you can convince them to go up and brush their teeth?” You lower your wineglass and offer a fake, pleading pout.

He looks down for a moment, pretending not to see the gesture. Instead, he looks back to the children.

“Right then, you two little monkeys. It’s gettin’ late. Go on up and brush your teeth. I’ll come tuck you in.”

Both children protest for a while, but eventually give in without too much of a fight. That’s a new one.

John lets out a chuckle as the children roll their eyes and go up the stairs. He watches them disappear from view before turning and meeting your eyes again, still smiling for this small victory.

As if he had just realized he was staring, John’s eyes darted down into his now empty mug.

"Let me take that." You reach for his mug but he shakes his head.

"I haven’t forgotten where the kitchen is," He smiles a bit. "'ll clean up and then tuck the kids in."

John makes his way over to the kitchen, placing it in the sink and starting water. You follow, and notice that he was also washing the dishes from dinner as well.

“John, you don’t have to-“

“I know.”

And that’s that.

You chew your bottom lip. This looked too familiar. It felt too familiar.

"I'm... gonna go check on them and get them in their pj's." You gesture to the stairs in the hall.

He looks up at you briefly and nods; "Be up in a bit, love.”

Once the water is emptied from the sink, he starts loading the dishes into the dishwasher. Once completed, he starts to wipe down the counters and stovetop, wanting to make sure he left no mess behind. Then he trekked back up the stairs to tuck in the kids.

You’re downstairs again, on the living room sofa. You wanted to let John have a moment alone with the kiddos before he left again.

He makes his way down the stairs and sees you sitting there in the dim lighting. He clears his throat a bit as he walks through the living room and back into the mudroom.

“They're tucked in. Not a whisper from ‘em.” He mentions casually as he gets his snow boots back on.

You thank him, turning to watch him leave, but notice him looking out of the door window and pause. So you make your way over to the door to see what he’s seeing.

It's started snowing and the driveway is completely covered again. It looks like he hasn't even shoveled.

John lets out a grunt of disbelief and sighs, pulling on his beanie and reaching for the shovel once again.

“Don't-“ You shake your head, placing your hand on the shovel. “It's snowing hard, there's no point in shoveling it all up just for it to be covered again. Why don't you... stay on the couch or something tonight.”

He stares down at the shovel for a moment, debating it. After a beat, he sighs a bit, nodding.

“I... could do that.”

You go upstairs to the bedroom and bring John some extra pillows and blankets to make a bed on the couch with.

You set everything on the coffee table and the two of you sit on the couch for a moment, just catching up and chatting about the kids.

“The kids both want to do soccer in the spring.” You mention, your cheeks a bit rosy from the wine you had with dinner.

“Football.” He corrects with a small smirk. You roll your eyes.

“Let me pay for the lessons.” He says; not asking.

Of course you refuse.

Of course he insists.

You settle on splitting it.

Then it happens again. Your eyes meet his. Neither one of you speaks. Suddenly you’re transported back to the first night you met; you were newly 21 and already tipsy when your eyes met those of an older man in his fatigues as he sat at the bar. You remember drunkly telling the older man that he had the prettiest blue eyes, and that you wanted a hundred of his babies that looked just. like. him.

You have two, at least.

“Oh!” You sit up a bit straighter, snapping out of your daydream. “I was going to ask you to look at something on my laptop. It's doing that thing again. It's upstairs.” You get up and head to your home office, John right behind you.

You open your laptop and hand it to John. He knew how to fix it last time, so it should take him no time.

He sits in your office chair and you step away into your bedroom across the hall to get into a pair of pajama shorts and a hoodie, since it's getting late.

The laptop whirred softly before he got it running again. Only took a minute. He sets it on the desk, leaning back in your chair with his hands behind his head as he looks up through the open door where you can be found, changing in the bedroom.

You were his wife at one point, anyway. Isn’t something he hasn’t seen before…

After you’ve changed, you lay on your bed, scrolling through your phone as you wait for John to fix the issue with your laptop, unaware that he was watching. Unaware that the laptop has been fixed for a while now, and he was just wasting time.

Eventually, his voice wafts through the doorway.

“Think I got it, love-“ He pauses for a moment. “Er, Y/N.”

“Ugh, thank you.” You sigh and sit up, taking the laptop from him and setting it on your nightstand. “Stupid thing always acting up.”

John sits on the edge of your bed as you take the laptop back from him.

“Not a problem. It was a quick fix.” He offers a small smile, rubbing the back of his head.

He takes a glance at you, noticing the pajamas you had put on.

"...Is that my sweatshirt?"

You blush a bit sheepishly, looking down at the oversized, grey 2XL Special Air Service hoodie you’re wearing. "Um..."

Another small chuckle escapes his lips. He shakes his head a bit, trying to contain his amusement.

“S’what I thought. You look... comfy." He reaches his hand out towards your leg, running his hand lightly over your bare legs, exposed by the shorts you were wearing.

Without realizing what he's doing, he has his hand on your thigh, and he gives it a light squeeze.

Eventually his hand travels higher to rest on your sex over your pajama shorts.

Usually, you'd tell him off. Monologue about how this isn't how things work because it complicated things and you both need to set boundaries.

But tonight you don't.

Maybe it's because you had two heavy-handed pours of your favorite wine with dinner. Maybe it was seeing him with your kids again. Maybe it had just been too long since you'd felt anything other than a cheap bullet vibrator.

So you let him slip his hand down your panties.

But it's a bit jarring to feel his wedding band still on his finger.

You look down at his hand for a beat when you feel it.

You look back up and place your hand on the back of his neck, pulling him in and crashing your lips together.

John wastes no time in laying you back on your bed and tugging your shorts and panties off, tossing them somewhere behind him.

His lips are on your neck, his hands spreading your soft thighs apart. You can smell the musky scent of himself on him, mixed with that familiar cologne of his, and you breathe a sigh.

“Take this off f’r me.” He mumbles against your skin, sliding your his hoodie up your body.

Your body aches for this to continue, and John doesn't plan to disappoint, but he takes a moment to admire what's sprawled out in front of him. He lets out a satisfied smirk as he pulls you closer by your thighs. He's undone his belt and shrugged out of his jeans in no time.

You pull his shirt off over his head before you close your eyes and tilt your head to give him easier access to kiss your neck.

His scruffy beard tickles your neck, his calloused hands gripping your thigh and rubbing your slick, dripping pussy.

“So needy.” John observed as your back arched and your body squirmed at his touch. "Poor thing... No one's been keepin’ you satisfied, hm?”

You shake your head a bit. You hate that he’s right. You hate that he can tell. That he knows you too well.

But he’s right; no random Tinder hookup and no blind date that your friends have set you up with could ever compare to your ex husband.

“Should’a told me...” He murmurs as he leans lower, positioning his head in between your thighs, pressing desperate kisses to your aching clit.

He’s got you figured out completely. He’s always been good at that.

A smile forms as his hands move to grip your thighs. He lets out a quiet groan as your legs instinctively clamp around his head. The look of his veiny hands gripping your plushy thighs with that damn wedding band still around his finger is doing things to you.

His tongue slowly plays in circular motions, teasing you, loving the game. He takes his time, enjoying himself, as you continue to squeeze your thighs against his head. Hell, he’d let you suffocate him if it meant he could eat your pussy this one last time.

You try not to, but you let out a desperate moan of pleasure. He knew exactly what you like, exactly where to lick, exactly where to kiss, exactly where to nibble.

Damn him.

“You sound s’pretty, lovey. S’pretty f’r me.” He pants, his praise ending with a whimper.

Your eyes roll back. Fuck, he has you. He knows he has you. Your moans and whimpers are uncontrollable as he picks up the pace, all but slamming his thick cock into your pretty little hole.

You’re his, and he knows it, and in the moment, it’s true. Just him. Just you. The rest doesn’t matter right now.

John pulls out for just a moment while he swiftly flips you over, roughly gripping your hips and pulling your backside into him. He’s got the angle just right now, and your breath catches in your throat, followed by a needy whimper.

“Mine… All mine… Isn’t that right?” He whispers, more of a command than a question.

Your face is pressed against the mattress as John’s grip on your hips tighten. This angle, this position, John is so familiar with it. He knows what it does to you. He knows the way it makes you respond.

John lets out a loud groan as your whimpers and moans get more needy, desperate. He knows that you’re about to come.

He finishes right then and there, along with you.

You gasp a bit, surprised by the synchronization. Should you really be surprised, though? Only he would know your body like that. You’re his. He’s yours.

John slowly pulls his softening cock out of you, lying on the bed and pulling you into his chest. His hand grabs your thigh, draping your leg around his waist in an attempt to hold you closer.

He lets out a few deep breaths, letting the adrenaline and endorphins just fade away. Neither of you wants to move right now, both just content being in each other’s arms. Both content feeling the heat of each other’s bodies, just listening to each other breathing.

“Better than I remembered it.” John murmurs, his voice laced with a smirk.

You catch John’s left hand after he reached up to push your sweaty hair from your forehead. You hold it in yours, playing a bit with the wedding band.

next >>

[neimlise]

Captain Price and his two gremlins of a child teammates.

—

Gaz: What time is it?

(Y/n): I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out

(Y/n): *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Price: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING

(Y/n), to Gaz: It’s two in the morning

—

Price: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste

(Y/n): We got spring water

Price: NO.

Gaz: with EXTRA minerals

(Y/n): it's like licking a stalagmite

Price: DON'T COME HOME.

Gaz: Mmmmm cave water

—

Gaz: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

(Y/n): The car takes a screenshot.

Price: For the last time, get the fuck out.

—

Store Worker: Would Mr. Price please come to the front desk?

Price, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

*Store Worker points to (Y/n) and Gaz*

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

(Y/n) and Gaz, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Price: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

—

(Y/n): Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Price: (Y/n) no.

Gaz: Mistlefoe.

Price: Please stop encouraging them.

—

Gaz: Hey Captain,

Price: Yes?

Gaz: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Price:

Price, stressing out: Where’s (Y/n)?

[kelpermoosee]

If Pikmin could survive on Hocotate, I legitimately think Olimar would be willing to cause a invasive species issue just to bring them home

[ansonmountdaily]

Captain's log, supplemental. Ours problems seem to have doubled. We started our day with one time traveler and now we have two, which is… a lot.

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds/Lower Decks crossover

STAR TREK: STRANGE NEW WORLDS 2x07 "Those Old Scientists"

[frogcupid]

this is part 5 of me editing official voicelines to make indecent audios for my fellow degenerates u guys <3 click here to hear more! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[reblogs always appreciated! <3]

[natelia-aldelliz]

Ghost after meeting Soap.

Price : Have you slept?

Ghost : Depends what day it is

Price : Go to bed.

[the-whispers-of-death]

Asks are open, feel free to pop in and talk or request something! (SFW requests only, please and thank you)

John Price who almost bursts into tears when he hears Grumpy!Reader's kid call him "Dad". It has been a year or two since you two started dating and he's really ingrained himself into your family. He loves your kid as if it's his kid, and he swears that one day, they will be his kid.

If your kid's a teenager, then them calling him "Dad" is most likely in a teasing, exasperated manner.

They were just leaving the house to go to the park with their friends and they had said goodbye to John. He calls out to them to be safe and they respond, "Yeah, yeah. I'll be safe! Bye, Dad!" And they don't miss a beat after saying it, opening the front door and leaving the house.

And John's just left there, standing wherever he is, wondering if he heard it correctly. Even if it had been in a teasing manner, the man is on cloud nine. He got called "Dad" by the very kid he loves and thinks of as his own. He's Dad now, he'll only ever respond to it when talking with your kid.

If your kid is younger, then it's mostly genuine when they call him "Dad".

John's in the kitchen, making them whatever lunch they want. It's a Saturday afternoon and you just went out to get groceries for the upcoming week, a common occurrence on a Saturday. Maybe he's making them dinosaur chicken nuggets or a sandwich, whatever it is, he plates it on the table.

"Here you go, kid," he says, watching with a fond smile as your kid lights up with happiness. A deep rumble of contentment is heard from his chest. "Eat up."

They do so happily, taking a bite of the food. "Thanks, Dad!" they reply, shoving food into their mouth.

He's taken aback, shocked by it all. He had never thought they'd call him "Dad", but it feels so right. And he's ecstatic for the rest of the day, unable to shake off the bright grin on his face. He happily spends the rest of the day doing whatever your kid wants, his heart soaring with happiness whenever they call him "Dad'.

That night, no matter which type of kid you have, John's laying beside you in bed, you fast asleep. And he's on his phone with his brightness turned down, looking at engagement rings. Because he's going to get married to you, officially be in this family. He's not letting you or your kid go, you're both his now.

Reblogs are welcomed & appreciated!

[nerfpuncher]

Wrecker: I had a dream that you were a bottle of mustard, and I was ketchup. Which is weird, cause normally you're mayonnaise in my dreams. Why do you suppose that is?

Rex, wondering what he was thinking taking a night watch shift with Wrecker: That's something you should ask Echo.

[limboraptor]

You CANNOT tell me Caviar doesn't have a father sense

im tempted to just start posting my salty shark edits i have way too many........

[dustykneed]

i just think spock has great mom friend potential tbh. strong contender for the cutest thing i've ever drawn

[angel5ofp0rn]

overheard from the Price children’s playroom

(based on my last babysitting experience LOL)

Price baby: Play wif dis one, uncle Soap.

Soap: Aw, alright princess. If it’ll make you happy, I’ll play dollies with ya. What’s this little one’s name?

Price baby: Dats baby uncle Ky.

Soap: Baby uncle Kyle? That’s cute. Which one is baby uncle Soap?

Price baby: Dis one.

Soap: Why does it look like this one’s been ran over by yer dad’s truck?!

Price baby: I frowed it in da garbage.

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

Levi with Twin Daughters Headcanons

➼ absolutely SPOILS them. like if it's a modern!au, he'll be at the store with them because you had to work and he offered to take them grocery shopping so you wouldn't have to worry about a sitter, and he figured that since it's just groceries, they wouldn't be too whiney about not getting a toy. although he says no at first because they already have a shitton of toys at home, as soon as they collectively say "daddy please", he gives in, and whatever caught their eye is coming home with him

➼ they'll learn very quickly how to tug at levi's heartstrings. if they ask you for something and you say no and won't budge, you can be fairly certain that they're going to run to levi and ask for the exactly same thing and 80% of the time, they can rope him into saying yes

➼ when you catch them giving him a tough time and give them the talk, he'll give you an exasperated look afterwards, waving off your own look of skepticism when he denies spoiling them. if you mention them being whiney just to get his attention or get him to do something, he'll immediately point out that they got that trait from you

➼ around the age of 5-10 is the worst for him. that's the age in which they are MASTER manipulators of him. they know how to tug at his heart strings, are able to pick up what things he'll say yes to when you'll say no and although he's constantly telling them to quit pestering you when you say no, he already internally knows that it's only a matter of time before they turn around and try to get him to say yes

➼ they're constantly competing for his attention. if one brings home a good grade from school and shows him, the other has to one-up them and show off her grade too. although levi makes it quite blatant that he'll love them regardless of their individual accomplishments, they look up to him quite a bit and will always want to bring something home to impress him.

[avengerscompound]

Steve and Sarah Rogers

Captain America (2023) #1