#but good on me bc even looking at it through a why would they have this lens it at least makes some sense
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rensaries · 11 hours ago
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𓍼 depollute me | jeno main masterlist
note :: i was inspired by "we'll never have sex" by leith ross to write this bc for some reason jeno reminds me so much of this song. everytime i listen to it or hear it i just think of jeno and think that it reflects how jeno would be as a partner! enjoy me being delusional and i hope you enjoy my first official writing :3 (including lyrics from the song bc i'm TIREDDD and i wrote a lot for my finals this week...)
word count :: 582
no matter how long you and jeno have been together, it always surprises you how much he appreciates you for being you. he appreciates your body, but not in the way that he only uses it to get off. he appreciates your face, but not just for the label of having a "hot girlfriend". he appreciates your personality, for making him feel so loved and comforted every time he breaths. when he kisses you it's with tenderness, not greed. when he runs his hands along your body it's in comfort, not lust.
"if i said you can never touch me, you'd come over and say i look lovely" your quiet voice vibrates against jeno's chest as the two of you are laying against each other, curled up in his bed.
"hmm?" he lifts his head up to look down at you, a perplexed expression painted on his face.
immediate embarrassment flows through you, regretting what you just blurted out. you realized how awkward of a thing that was to say and hoped that jeno genuinely didn't hear what you said. "oh... nothing, lay back down nono."
"no tell me what you said, i wanna know." he added a hint of sass to the end of his sentence, making it harder to just move on from your stupid remark.
"i was just talking to myself, it was stupid anyway."
jeno tilted his head and raised his eyebrow, knowing in his head he was thinking be serious. "tell me what you said or no cuddles for the rest of the night, and i take my hoodie back."
you sighed in defeat, knowing you couldn't lose all that just over a few words, "if i said you can never touch me, you'd come over and say i look lovely." once the words left your mouth you covered your face in embarrassment, you didn't even know what you meant by that but you just felt the urge to blurt it out to jeno.
"i don't know what that means but i'm assuming it's good." his gave you his signature "(.◜◡◝)" expression before he laid his head back down.
"i don't know why i said that honestly, it's kind of embarrassing,"
"no, not at all?"
"i was just thinking of everything you do for me, the way you treat me like i'm the most fragile thing ever. not just physically but in every way. everything you do for me is so careful and you never want me for only my body or only want me for sex, and just, like, if i told you you could never touch me again, you'd still say i look beautiful or lovely and be fine with never touching me again. like your love for me isn't only physical." your voice was quiet but jeno heard every word, listening intently. he would be lying if he said he didn't tear up a little at your words, he tries his best to show you love that's more than just physical and make you feel loved inside and out. and you were right, if you told him he could never touch you again he would be fine with that and would still always call you beautiful and lovely.
as if the two of you weren't close enough, he engulfed you in a suffocating hug, landing kisses on the top of your head. your muffled giggles vibrating against his chest. another heartwarming moment that makes you fall in love with your boyfriend all over again.
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©️rensaries
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jubshead · 2 days ago
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In my opinion <- strongly for ME
When it comes to Agatha All Along seems like people lose the plot & content about it as it goes, idk why but
1) Agatha is a Villain- she doesn't need redemption she's aware of herself & acknowledges her doings ( like wanda says " you do it you become the hero , I do it I become the enemy)
Agatha doesn't have to atone to what she's done or will continue to do ,does she feel bad hmm 🤪
So she's a serial killer - most those witches deserved it if you ask me, her salem coven completely did for wanting to put a child on trial because they were scared of her powers
"You don't see it holding me back " & it shouldn't hold her back she's a cunty witch no one forced anyone to follow her in her scheme she's a great con artist 🥵 I'd willing volunteer for you AGATHA HARKNESS 😏
Now I'm not saying her grief is an excuse, & that it's ohkay what she's done with her & Nicky's song but isn't a lil evil enjoyable😈 don't always have to be good doesn't mean you're always right
Like the ballad where all that's wrong is right & all that's bad is good!
² ) Agatha & Rio's love IS NOT toxic. What makes it toxic that rio gives & Agatha takes? If you think in depth their love is dynamic! Agatha is a person who time & time again is wronged by close & acquainted people of course she'd close herself from hurt when that's everyone's intentions without giving her a chance it's not her fault that people misunderstands & here comes Rio our amazing entity who knows how to show compassion because no ever will this is something Agatha deserves & Rio is literally the best example being that homo sapien feel the same way about death so who's best to understand Agatha than Rio herself & show & give Agatha what no one has? Their love makes sense & is precious because death can be seen to never be loved & here comes Agatha someone that's put off by people whom in their eyes seem like she's not capable of ever loving, yearns to want & give it & is giving it to death the best way she possibly knows how to, so who's to say their love is toxic?
3)Agatha is a Villain! That's what's perfect about her it's what makes her likeable
She is not evil( yes she is 😏🤭) , just misunderstood, not given a chance . She can still do & is doing the things even if she was good
] a daughter, a mother, a mentor ! Being a Villain doesn't stop her for being the things she was gifted with as Rio sees her for what she masks with - you just have to look through the disguise as well cause in time you'll see notice & you see if you pay close attention she isn't hiding as one would say you just aren't taking the time to notice because she's good at what she does best DECEPTION!
1 and 3) Yes, I agree! Agatha is a villain and she shouldn’t have a redemption arc! She doesn’t want to change and she won’t (tbh I prefer her as immoral lmao)
I think redemption arcs are usually very forced, just bc someone regrets their doing it doesn’t change what they did. She can have better actions, but being a villain isn’t really about what you do in the present, is about the way people view you and she’ll always be a villain in someone’s perspective, there’s no way for her to run from that title anymore.
People have the need for their favorite characters to be liked by everyone, have a moral high ground or something like that, but making her greedy and egoistic (in my opinion) gives her a bigger depth than “oh she always does what’s right”. Who the fucks only do what’s right?
I don’t agree that all of the witches she killed deserved, the only ones I know that deserved were her previous coven!
2) Agatha and Rio have a VERY complicated relationship.
Would I say it’s toxic? No, I wouldn’t!
Are they toxic people? Yes, they are!
I think they basically match each others freak to the point their toxicity doesn’t become toxic lol
And I also think that they have true feelings for each other, they can fight, they can argue, they can hurt, but when it comes to the important stuff they will take things seriously! Just like Rio did when she defended Agatha from her mother.
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ace-malarky · 2 days ago
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Snippet Sunday 22/12
Hello here is a snippet super early bc oh my god do I have things that need doing today
also I woke up with words in my head and chose violence <3
no it is not Halliel getting to use her sword <3
~~
Syn landed near Halliel's apartment and pulled their wings back in. For a moment, they almost looked like themself. They missed their antlers, but if they were to have any chance of surviving this…
They straightened out their clothes as best they could, crumbling off the dried on mud. A lot had fallen off during their flight, but… well. There was no hope for this outfit, really.
Their tinted glasses were gone, broken the first time they'd been arrested.
Syn flicked their tail under the fall of their coat, and perked their ears. Tightened their grip on Halliel's sword, tapping its scabbard against their leg.
No sounds out of the ordinary. It sounded like home. Just the quiet contentment of an evening after a long day of work. Music, laughter, conversations, several different shows going at once from different flats.
At least one person had a window open, practising their instrument. They sounded better than the last time Syn had heard them, more confident. Less prone to squeaking.
They took the fire escape down two floors and stopped outside the window there. Curtains still open, lights not on. The dim light from behind them let them see in, if just barely.
There was Trixie, curled up and asleep on Halliel's bed, tail over her nose.
Syn placed a hand against the glass, leaning their forehead against it. "Thanks for looking after her, Trix," she whispered. "I'll try to come back."
Trixie didn't stir.
Syn descended the last of the stairs and stepped out into the street, under the yellowing street lamps. How long would it take, they wondered. How far would they get?
They went back to work.
Three streets down, and [spoiler] fell into place beside them.
"I'm surprised you came back."
"Couldn't let you win, could I?" Syn shot her a wry look. "Not on my turf."
She laughed. "What is this, if not me winning?"
"That's cute," Syn said. "Real cute."
[Spoiler] frowned. "Where's Halliel?" She glanced at the sword in Syn's hand.
"Wouldn't you like to know."
"I - yes, that's why I asked."
Syn swivelled to face her. "What makes you think I'd tell you?"
"Because she's hurt. Because she needs help. Because why else would you make the mistake of coming back here?" She shrugged, scoffing. "You're predictable, Vale."
Syn hummed and kept walking. Two more streets. The buildings were older here. Archaic, really, with their wide columns and weather-softened corners and too-big windows. Syn had loved them regardless, but the city had changed too much around them and now they just looked… old and out of place.
Progress had come on apace with no care for the aesthetics of the place.
It would have been better, maybe, to come in through the park, but they'd wanted to check on Trixie just one last time.
They'd just have to make the best of their entrance with what they'd given themself.
There were guards on the steps, Verial and Sallen. Almost every window had a blaze of too-bright light behind it, spilling out across the road, almost reaching the trees in the park across the road.
[Spoiler] reached out to take Syn's arm. "Wait."
"No," Syn said sweetly, slipping out of reach. "I'm doing this on my terms."
[Spoiler] searched their face. "What's your play, Vale? Where's Halliel?"
"Wouldn't that be telling." Syn grinned, feral, sharp teeth and the mirrored skin gleaming in the brighter light coming from the building before them.
They walked up to the guards at the bottom of the steps. "Good evening," they called. "I believe you're looking for me?" They waved, their tail wagging in tandem.
[Spoiler] grabbed at their arm as the guards reacted to their presence. "I've got this, thank you," she growled.
"You haven't disarmed them," one of the guards said.
"He's right, you know," Syn said.
[Spoiler] huffed and reached for Halliel's sword.
"Ooh, no, not yet." Syn held it out of reach, dancing backwards. "Take me," they said, grinning, "to your leaders."
[Spoiler] narrowed her eyes, hand still outstretched.
"I promise I won't use it," Syn said. "You know me. Just need the comfort."
"This is highly irregular," said one of the guards. She'd come with Jaiel and Syn from Sallen, was one of the prince's guards. "We can't-"
"I have control of the situation," [Spoiler] snapped, and the guard subsided.
Syn winked at one of the Verial guards, tapping a couple of fingers against the scabbard.
He nodded and didn't argue as Syn walked up the steps to the door, [Spoiler] in their wake.
The next set opened the door without waiting to be asked, without challenging them, and Syn thanked them as they stepped inside.
"Just the usual place, is it?" they asked, looking around the empty foyer. All gilt and marble, a statue seated in the centre of the deer-formed architect.
Syn's antlers had been more impressive.
"This way," [Spoiler] said.
Syn let her lead just long enough to work out where they were going, and then strode past. They'd make her work for it, even though she thought she'd won.
Anyone else would've insisted that Syn hand over their sword, but [Spoiler] was getting cocky with the end in sight. More fool her, really, but then she thought she was winning here.
Syn stopped before the next set of guards. "I should be expected," they said. "Do you want me to announce myself, or…?" They waggled the hilt of Halliel's sword to point at the guards, as if choosing who to do their job.
They took in Syn's appearance - they grinned, feeling the stretch in their mirror-torn skin - and one knocked on the door.
"Yes?" Maj stepped out. "What is it?" Her eyes fell on Syn.
Syn watched the shock and dismay ripple across her face.
"… Vale," Maj said. "I see."
[Spoiler], only just catching up, took possessive hold of Syn's elbow. "I brought them in."
"Make sure Halliel gets this back," Syn said, passing Maj her sword.
Maj nodded and opened the door for them. "Please, come on in."
Syn didn't shake [Spoiler] free of them this time. They'd give her this much.
[Spoiler] cleared her throat. "I've caught Vale."
Neryd looked over Syn and scoffed.
Jaiel looked up from the couch. "Yes, but where is Lance? What have they done with them?"
"Ooh, you didn't tell him?" Syn asked. "Awkward." They bowed. "Your Majesty." When they straightened up, their dragon touched horns and scales were beading in. "Can't say it was an honour serving you." They swept it away before it reached their eyes, dropping back into Vale. Just enough to make a point, not enough to break the last of their guises.
Jaiel schooled his face into a sense of neutrality, but Syn had seen the shock and then the greed flit across him. "We'll take them back to Sallen to deal with," he said.
[Spoiler] really hadn't told him anything. Syn wondered if anyone knew about her.
"I think not," Rion replied. "They have endangered us just as much by their actions."
Syn shot him a glance but couldn't read anything. Did he know who they were? … Did it matter?
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nyan-bynary · 3 months ago
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I'm gonna have to wait out a few weeks to be able to complain about jjk's ending bc rn half the ppl are bashing everyone who expected more as ppl who just wanted gojo back
#jjk 271#like no I can read I understood that gojo was gone for good from 236 bUT we can still talk about#how a grown ass man and his grown ass friends deciding how they were at 16 was their perfect forms.#before they made all the important life changing decisions. is a regression right#like can we talk about how the narrative just glosses over geto's whole entire life after hs WHERE HE WAS A GENOCIDAL MANIAC#and pretends like no one would even side eye him about that???#that's fucking regression#you're scaling his character back bc you don't want to address the root reasonwhy he went that route#and it's perfectly fine when an author doesn't want to get too political in their work it's their right I get it#but it does make me upset where the whole entire story up until here the author has been beating us over the head with leftist messaging-#- only to throw it away and settle for a 'oh I didn't mean ACTUAL revolution or changes that would rock the boat for REAL'#bc let's face it. the conditions that made people like geto and sukuna happen are still fucking there they just skipped this generation#these kids are still going to be sent out when a special grade curse shows up and some of them are still gonna die tragically early#to put yuuji as the leader of gojo's dream is isolating and a burden on JUST YUUJI (WHY WERE THE OTHER STUDENTS NOT THERE)#to make yuuji the sole messenger of gojo's will is frankly WEIRD gojo wanted these kids to look out for one another#he had nothing to say to anyone else???#yuuji's been accidentally burdened with the weight of gojo's dream now ON HIS OWN#HE IS A KID#literally nothing's changed at the end#also see how I didn't talk about gojo on his own here bc the problems are so glaring that they shine through even side characters#WHY IS NANAMI A KID IN THE AIRPORT IS THAT THE VERSION OF HIMSELF HE WAS CONTENT WITH???#or did they all have to be aged down to match haibara even though making the choice to show the ones that lived as grown would've made it-#-more impactful#A twenty seven yr old nanami sitting next to the fifteen yr old haibara would've been soul crushing right?#also why have nanami be the only one that talks like he remembers his adulthood BUT NOT GETO#WHY TAKE AWAY SUCH A HUGE PART OF GETO#YOU COULD'VE HAD THAT BE A CONVERSATION AND HAVE PEOPLE FORGIVE HIM#the more I think about the ending the more things I find to nitpick further back too#gege I love you but please I hope you negotiate a more flexible time in your next contract I hope they don't burn you out again#bc jjk is going to be an ending which I will frankly ignore and just go with 'sukuna won and it was terrible' in my head instead
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orcelito · 4 months ago
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I'm at the painful "confession" scene during the kage summit arc. It really is so emotional, but also... hm.
When I was younger, like 13 or so, I was a big Sakura and Naruto shipper. They were the first pairing I read fanfic for even. And in a way, I do still enjoy the two of them together... but it's moments like these that really drive home the fact that it Doesn't really work in canon. Not the way that it's set up.
As Sakura puts it, "Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke! That's all you think about!"
She's told that Naruto has feelings for her and decides to use it to convince him to stop going after Sasuke. She does love him, but not in the way she's trying to confess. The love they share is one of comradery, not necessarily romantic. The love of two people who have gone through such pain together, and who have leaned on each other throughout it all. And the fact that she's turning around and saying she loves him "simply like everyone else", now... it's trivializing. And the fact that she's trying to convince him of this, the fact that she thinks she Can convince him of this, is pretty hurtful. They've come a long way from when they were kids, Naruto the goofball vying for her attention while she yelled at him for being stupid. Sakura respects Naruto so much more than before, and Naruto respects her too. So the fact that she's still doing this... She's desperate, really. She thinks the promise he made to her to bring Sasuke home is what's driving him to let himself be hurt over and over and over again in the pursuit and protection of Sasuke.
But she's wrong.
That may be part of it, but it's only part. Naruto wants Sasuke back for himself, too. He let himself be beat up to avoid selling him out. He chases after him with single minded determination. Sasuke is his entire drive to get stronger, to catch up, to bring him home. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke indeed.
As it is, Naruto knows she's lying to herself. And no matter what she says, he will keep going after Sasuke. Because that's just the person that Naruto is.
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#i think. naruto and sakura could potentially work out... but probably in a poly kind of situation.#because naruto will never forget about sasuke. and tbh neither will sakura. at least in canon.#of course i think sakura would do well to end up with someone more level headed. like ino.#someone without all the Complications that those two have...#but at the same time. i still do really love the idea of two people supporting one another through thick and thin.#i like naruto and sakura as a pairing of mutual respect. which is why it doesnt truly work as it is in canon.#especially when it comes to things like the 'joke' punches. but that's Everywhere in this anime.#female characters' anger being turned into jokes. theyre 'scary' but its not Actually scary.#naruto taking punch after punch from her for being foolish. yet it's all just a joke.#tbh id want to do away with that trope entirely. sakura has a temper but she's a good person. a kind soul.#i dont like that kishimoto has her being casually abusive with one of her best friends.#yet another part of the misogynistic writing that i hate.#sure enough. as it is in canon it just doesnt work. but ykno what. 13 year old me is still here. and wants to think of a way that it Could.#all things to think about. i wonder if there is any poly fic with the 3 of them. theres Gotta be.#though that brings the question of whether it'd even fit my ideal concept of the 3 of them.#it's certainly not the popular kind of thing lol. most people pick one of the three pairings between them.#but ya kno what. ive always been a multishipper. and poly ships really enable that truth of mine.#maybe i'll look for some poly fic sometime. just to see if theres anyone doing it like id wanna see.#if it's just two guys fighting over one girl or something tho im Outta there.#and ALSO theres something to be said for sasuke and sakura's relationship when they were kids.#there was trust there. confiding. he respected her. & in the end. he thanked her for her care.#cant be Just the two of them tho. for me. bc that erases naruto's significance to them both.#it is perhaps another thing i'll want to write someday. just maybe.
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front-facing-pokemon · 1 year ago
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#manectric#i woke up at like noon today y'all i'm queuing this after work. i forgot about it all day and i was about to hop on totk#but i got the reminder to do it. so here i am. with manectric#el woowoo‚ if you will#a lot happened. yesterday. it was not a very good day. which is why i woke up so late. it was a little bit rough. but i guess it's a new day#so. it'll get better. planning on Not Doing Shit today or tomorrow to compensate for all the Bullshit that happened yesterday#hoping you all are doing well. one week from today (friday june sixteenth) i'll be hopping on a flight for the first time in 10 years#looks like according to the queue this will actually go up the day before we leave. so‚ to you guys‚ i'll be heading out tomorrow#which is scary a little bit. last time i flew i had no idea i was autistic‚ but now that i've come up with a lot of better accommodations#for myself and i understand myself a lot better and my needs‚ i'm realizing a lot of my accommodations just aren't gonna make it through TSA#plus it's a lot of unfamilarity with unfamiliar people and an unfamiliar environment which i feel like is gonna lend itself to sensory#overload like Immediately and i'm probably gonna get a headache bc that's how it manifests for me#so when we get there i'm probably gonna have to run to the nearest pharmacy. and grab some shit. which is annoying! so. i'm a little#worried. about the trip. NONE OF HTIS IS ABOUT MANECTRIC SORRY#this is a pokémon i have a hard time caring about outside of its involvement as the leader of the electrike in amp plains#that's about it#any tips from frequent flyers who are autistic would be greatly appreciated. not even just about flying but about like. going to unfamiliar#places on the other end of the country and stuff. i feel like that's what i'm most worried about even though i'm worried abt all of it#also hi i'm writing these tags from day-of. like the actual day this is going to post. me from a week ago sure did know what she was talking#about! anyway. i'm. gonna like. take my meds now goodBye see you all when this Posts in a few hours
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waywardsalt · 6 months ago
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ive been rereading tnp and it’s bothering me so much i need to mention it here; it’s kind of insane how much the erins bend over backwards to make brambleclaw deputy, it’s kind of just nonsensical.
not even him not having an apprentice when he’s picked, though that is kind of wild, he just… there’s basically no good reason other than him being a main pov character and tigerstar’s son. literally any other thunderclan warrior who’s had an apprentice (barring maybe ashfur) would have been a better choice. thornclaw dustpelt sandstorm cloudtail brackenfur- brackenfur is one that firestar explicitly considers and the reasoning why he decides not to is so incredibly weak ‘oh i dont think he’d be right for leader’ number one what are you talking about number 2 then use him being deputy as an opportunity to help him become right for leader are you telling me firestar thinks the cat he once considered letting die in a fire is a better fit for leader than the cat he half mentored. dustpelt is clearly an experienced warrior, sandstorm is someone firestar obviously has faith in, thornclaw is experienced and i’m pretty sure you even see firestar consult him a few times (cloudtail is iffy bc thats cloudtail but he’d really be a better choice, just how he treats daisy and her kits would be an interesting justification for firestar making him second-in-command) but honestly besides the narrative jumping through hoops to act like the other very viable options are either secretly bad choices or otherwise ignore them (why is bramble the only cat we ever see jump to help firestar with stuff they just wrote everyone else to be silent or w/e) but in twilight where he arguably acts the most like de-facto deputy in leaf and squirrel’s pov he’s framed as a jackass half the book??? why would you do that if you intend to make him actual leader?? in his trial run of being kinda-not-deputy you just make him use his semi-authority to be cold and fucking mean to his friend and her buddy??? like i see him being qualified due to having experience being the travel group’s leader and whatnot, but barely anything else is done to make him realistically more qualified than anyone else- he just angsts about his ambitions and gets handed the position because starclan vouched for him for some damn reason even though by his society’s laws he should not be in that position
#sorry its just really bothering me bc i am NOT seeing why he should be deputy#warrior cats#salty talks#the new prophecy#i dont hate tnp i just hate the bramble wants to be deputy plot he does not deserve that shit#not even on the level of him being a shitty guy or anything he literally should not have been picked#its probably the most egregious example of the authors just forcing a plot point instead of like. building it up realistically#literally in twilight he just comes off like he’s going to be a cold distant asshole as deputy it’s not a good look#opposed to firestar being deputy gaining his position while qualified and also through the understandable logic of bluestar’s mental state#fire just picks bramble be leafs like hey starclan says so and fires like oh ok even tho he’s literally not qualified#and also barely seems like he’d be a good choice anyways despite having been a main pov character#yes im complaining abt bad writing in the Bad Writing Cat Books leave me alone this is bothering me#adding while i read sunset; i will concede that this one does a better job building him up as possible deputy with the trust he’s given#its still just. why him (besides him being the mc) why is no one else given this trust or somewhat filling this role the same way#i feel like it would be more interesting if someone else got chosen over bramble and he had to be at peace with that#instead of oh he gets what he wants yayyy. idk switch the fox trap scene to hawkfrost trapping the new deputy#i feel like bramble not being deputy would be interesting like helps him realize that he doesnt need to be in a position of power#for his clanmates to trust him and rely on him if hes still worried abt the tigerstar’s kin thing and maybe confront tigerstar abt it
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trans-leek-cookie · 6 months ago
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Thinking about geto because I want to pour milk on him and throw him against the wall. Imo his beliefs are inconsistent and self serving (which makes sense because he developed said beliefs at age 16/17 while his mental health was at an all time low). Because while he seems to have the primary motive of "only sorcerers = no curses" taking into account how he treats Maki, who has no cursed energy, it shows that the "no curses" thing isnt the main focus- bc while he decided on tbe "forced evolution" thing, theoretically he should not be Opposed to ppl w heavenly restriction bc. They still fuckin. Don't contribute to curses from what I can tell. Also heavenly restriction is pretty obviously something that is punished by uh. Is it just the Zenin's who have it. Anyway they hated Maki and they Hated Toji so he clearly isn't standing for "oppressed sorcerers" bc if so Maki should be like. The kind of person he wants to help more, as someone who would be oppressed by ppl who aren't sorcerers as well as the powerful clans.
Anyway. While getting rid of curses is for sure part of his motivation, as well as helping sorcerers (see Nanako and Mimiko) id honestly argue that his main problem that lead to him spiraling was. How do I put this. Being knocked off a pedestal
Because he was one of 3 people given the ranking of "Special Grade", and he and satoru are grouped as "the strongest". And consider that satoru comes from a powerful clan and literally has some weird omniscience and invincibility shit going on so that's a whole fucking. That's gotta be a wild ego boost, especially for someone who comes from a family of ppl who aren't sorcerers. Like you spend all this time being a fuckin weirdo and then someone finds you and it turns out you're actually incredibly special and strong, given the same rank as a fucking God Child? You're gonna have some wild self perceptions after that
Anyway then you get to watch your invincible friend get stabbed, watch the girl you became friends with and feel shitty about kinda ruining the life of get shot, and get your whole shit rocked by some guy who can't even use the magic power bullshit you have. (Though he's got a whole physical thing going on because of the trade off)
Also writing all of this out actually makes me understand the Cult Leader progression more, like besides the fact they killed ur friend and you want em dead. You're probably struggling with your ego (especially since your weird God like friend got a whole power boost from the situation) so you create a fucking eugenicist cult where you can consistently prove your superiority to yourself (surrounding yourself with people who will agree with everything you say).
Anyway in a similar vein I wholely believe in "a loving father is not inherently a good father" Suguru + Nanako & Mimiko dynamic
Final thought is roughly I feel like looking at Suguru thru the lense of "this character had a level of privilege that they felt they truly deserved, and after experiencing events that are genuinely traumatic and horrific for any person, they develop reactionary beliefs to try and regain a sense of superiority and control" rather than "oppressed minority who killed oppressors and wants to do eugenics"
#Eugenics TW#cult TW#ask to tag#Suguru when I catch you#Anyway this was me thinking Abt the fact that Toji ISNT a normal human. He just can't use jujutsu. He's like supernaturally powerful anyway#So Geto's whole shit is like. Pretty misdirected. Though also personal thought is I don't think His parents were good (and he's projecting#That onto every other person who's not a sorcerer) mostly cause like. Going straight to murdering your parents is not really expected#Progression in eugenics id think? Bc if you posit urself as the ''superior'' person theoretically ur parents should also b part of that#Bc genetics or whatever. Idk how genetic sorcery shit is but even tho his parents Weren't sorcerers usually ppl would make excuses I think#So. Basically I feel like he probably did not have a great relationship w them. Not that that makes him any better more just like. Thinking#Through what's happening in his head...why the fuck did he decide on a different last name for that woman. WTF is wrong with him#I am suguru's number 1 LOVER and his number 1 HATER. I'm suffering bc none of the fanfic makes him enough of a bitch#It's really fucking something bc like. Looking at him as someone who's had similar thought progressions and is unlearning the kind of toxic#Black/white extremist thinking he has going on. It's cathartic in a way to deconstruct that and be able to analyze my own thoughts as well#But then no one is putting in the effort to actually engage with his ideas and the flaws in them (INCLUDING THE AUTHOR.)#Anyway most people when they have a crisis and reach an extremely bad mental health situation would join a cult rather than take over a cul#But suguru is different. That's why I love him and also why I'm going to break his ribs.#Diversity win this autistic trans guy fucking sucks so bad you want him dead#I need to tag these damn posts w something but I'm too lazyyyu
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moe-broey · 4 months ago
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Idk I also just hate the future actually. My ass is Always living in the past or simply day to day 💪💪💪
#HELP ...... SO MANY OF MY DAYDREAMS CENTER AROUND THIS ACTUALLY.....#like. huge point of drama/point of contention between alfonse and moe is that moe Hesitates.#even outright Refuses. to consider the future. where alfonse's future seems set in stone that is the path he's been striving for all long#moe feels like it won't have a place there. you'll be king. you'll be all set. you'll probably have to have a queen#and even if it's a political marriage thing (WHICH. I HAVE SO MUCH HC LORE ABOUT --#like no one specifically but like. alfonse is the type of guy who has accepted this long ago and just treats it as a fact of life#which moe RESENTS. HOW are you gonna fuckinh ACCEPT THAT. your life entirely out of your own hands#bitch i'll fucking KILL YOU. ect)#also as a side there was a whole wedding banner wip that explored that that i. forgor about#but like. alfonse tries SO hard to convince moe that there WILL be a place for it by his side. he will MAKE that place if he has to#also a king4king situation isn't feasible i think moe would be a concubine (gay style). or an enuch or something#like moe does NOT want to be in any position of actual authority. that's not its heart. it's a support guy through and through#but going back to the start. moe is the type of guy who's convinced it's going to be replaced.#moe is the type of guy who burns bridges and feels a sense of relief. moe is the type of guy who is looking for ANY excuse#to run away. and ESP to reframe it as 'you're better off without me'.#the only reason it was able to get so close to alfonse is bc it was convinced alfonse wouldn't get attached to it#and when he did moe was convinced Well. this will all be temporary anyway. i'll take it day by day#make the most of it. and whenever alfonse hits it w one of his classic zingers like#the more you have to lose the worse it hurts when you do doesn't that make you feel lonely. SHUP FUCKIYBNG SHUT YPUR FUCK UP‼️‼️‼️#moe is a normal guy with no problems. definitely no commitment issues or intimacy issues. i promise.#ACTUALLY THAT REMINDS ME. BEEN TURNING THIS AROUND IN MY HEAD TOO. ESP W MY CURRENT WIP#and the feelings it invokes in me. moe is SO CONVINCED. SO CONVINCED. it's gonna fuck alfonse over big time#do NOT make me your lifeline i swear to fucking god. i Promise You. i Will Fail You.#adjacent but moe being a healer is ENDLESSLY. FASCINATING TO ME. LIKE MY GOD#healer that is just SO destructive. that's w.. that's part of why... it became a healer.........#like god. being a healer to ensure that if you get rid of me you'll be at a disadvantage.#nevermind the fact that i have a role exclusive to me. not good enough. i need More insurance.#the way. the role it took upon itself. when it was younger. to be the fixer. to clean up after [redacted]#and its never ending cycle. ever since it was a child. its never ending cycle of tearing itself apart#to rebuild itself anew. better this time. Perfect this time. this time. this time. this time.
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running-in-the-dark · 2 months ago
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my niece stayed with us last night. it was pretty fun this time, probably because I was feeling better (if I'm already in pain or exhausted, I can't handle it). after we dropped her off, we talked to my mother for a little bit, and then drove to my in-laws. we were there for a few hours and because the guys were busy outside, i ended up talking to my mother-in-law for most of that time. it was... kind of good? I don't know. she actually showed some real emotions, just a little bit, but hey that's more than ever before! I even gave her a weird little shoulder squeeze/side hug, it was so weird.
anyway, I almost fell asleep in the car on the way home because I was so tired, and actually did fall asleep immediately on the couch.
#it's pretty annoying because my mother-in-law of course asked me how applying for jobs is going. I haven't applied for a single one yet#bc dude I can barely get through the day. I sleep for 12-16 hours a day. and I'm almost always in some kind of pain. and I'm not doing so#good mentally either. come on! I interacted with a handful of people in one day and had to sleep for like 6 hours.#anyway so I said it's a bit difficult because I'm constantly tired - it felt like the only thing she might kind of understand?#annnd she said its probably a vitamin D deficiency and I should get that tested (I won't because I'd have to pay for that and also I think I#read that taking vitamin D supplements doesn't actually help? I can't remember now and I don't want to look it up bc I know it definitely is#not the only or even main reason I am always tired.#I took vitamin D tablets for several months last year (?) bc my previous GP recommended it and. it did absolutely nothing at all#plus. like. I can't sleep. I sleep like shit. always. so. idk? that definitely doesn't help#and I sleep more when I'm in pain and all that too. so.#and she knows I have a bunch of health issues but. nope it's vitamin D because that's one thing and it's simple and here take a pill you're#fine now! wait why aren't you fine now? oh I guess you're just lazy 🙄#< that's 100% how that would go#ugh. Just let me sleep for 5-10 years. maybe that'd fix me....#like. I'm trying to get myself back (?) to being an actual human person again. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I'm trying to#live and not feel like I'm drowning every fucking day#finding a job is only gonna add more stress and exhaustion and everything. if I want to try to help myself this is the time to do it#okay rant over I'm going to sleep now#personal
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hexcitrine · 11 months ago
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randomly looked at this account to update my age and holy shit it's been a while since i posted here..........i have a small pile of art i have yet to post but hbhbshdbshbd too lazy
#part of it is that i haven't posted any of my recent art but in addition#i haven't made new art in a WHILE (abt 3 months) which is highly unusual for me but the reason for that is#3 months ago i suddenly remembered that i tried learning mandarin for three (3) days before forgetting about it for 9 months#(amusingly the reason why is not because of danmei......i did not even know danmei existed when i first decided to learn it)#anyways i have been insanely fixated on learning it for the past 3 months#however since art is primarily a way for me to process my interests and that only really be done when i'm fixated on media........well#let's just say i have not been making art at all#that might change soon tho#rn i'm reading 撒野 (saye) in chinese bc it's at a level i can read and i fucking love it so far#idk why i picked a book longer than svsss (which took me a week to read in english)...u would think there's no chance of me finishing it#or even reading it#especially when the only novel i've read before this is a chinese translation of the fucking magic finger by roald dahl LMFAO#but it's been a week and i'm a fifth of the way into it which i was not expecting at all#it was initially an exercise of “i will get as far as i can and try my best to read a chapter a day” but i've been zipping through chapters#last night i was up until 3 AM reading it and i was so tempted to read more but had to stop myself#of course this is all aided by pleco which lets me quickly look up words that i don't know yet. pleco ily#that being said...this all does mean i know words like 收銀台 before i even know the word for “orange” (the color) which is pretty funny#but idk considering that the sum of my time spent learning chinese is just 3 months..........i think i am doing pretty damn good#i thought it would be a LOT longer before i could finally start enjoying some interesting things#god but it really has been a while since i last read a high school romance...but i am quite fond of the leads and their respective baggage#sorry for the whole tag ramble.........i haven't really had anyone to talk abt this stuff with#oh also it's my birthday#that is why i am even here to update my age in the first place#happy lan wangji birthday#actually the only reason i realized it was gonna be my birthday soon is because i saw chinese artists posting lan wangji birthday fanart#and then remembered that we share the same birthday#also re: the art i haven't posted yet.........a good chunk of it is misvil fanart...song qingshi my beloved#and there's also a luo binghe drawn on an art app i PROGRAMMED MYSELF (!!!!!!!!!) in there#actually that piece is the main reason i haven't posted the art i HAVE made. how the fuck do i explain that i drew it on an app that i made#sorry this is genuinely the most off the rails tag ramble i've ever done. okay i'm done
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the-knife-consumer · 2 years ago
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You know how cat whisters help with a cats balance right? Do you think your depiction of cosmics is the same? Ie, Since they're adaptation is different yet unique head shapes and patterns, do you think their whiskers helps with their balance along with other senses that or is it just for design. Ether way, your depiction of the queen, king, and prince is very interesting, lovely and makes me think a lot! Keep it up
Yes!! I feel like them having whiskers would make sense for the 'somethings coming' alert, because its usually something that they can't see coming from behind. Also prince can go on very narrow paths while rolling around a giant ball, so he'd sort of have to have good balance
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Also if they had really good balance then they could do things like this
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killjoy-prince · 1 year ago
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My ANYC haul
I bought some spicy stuff which you can see under the cut
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#prince's talk tag#ren dont look#this took so long to go through and sort aaaaaaa my back hurts lolol#man i bought A LOT#i gotta wait for tomorrow for my presentation book to come in so i can put the posters in them#the stickers i can put in my sticker book#as for the charms and buttons i can put some up but not all i dont have a lot of room oops#anyway!! no con makes me wanna spend so much money quite like anyc#ive been to a few different cons in my time but this one takes the cake the artists and vendors are perfection#there was a rally for b/aldurs g/ate where you visited participating booths and either rolled a 20 with a d20#or bought 10 bucks worth of stuff from each booth to collect stamps#then youd bring it to the last booth to get a prize which was some prints and sticker sheet which you can see on the top row in the 2nd pic#as well as a sticker sheet in the top left of the same pic#and since this game is my current obsession and by extension the vampire in the game i had no problem getting the stamps by spending money#i bought so much of my boy and this wasnt even all they had of him but it was a good chunk#i also bought a bunch of ge/nshin stuff specifically d/iluc bc hes my fave when i was playing a lot and there was an artist who had so much#of him available for sale and he looked so good in their style so i had to#the pic with the flamingo fidget toy i got from the p/r/s/k meetup!! the host gave out little goodie bags as thanks for coming#she was dressed as h/onami which is why the card has her on it#the pic with the cookbook was by an artist ive seen a few times and would buy recipe prints from (the back of the prints has the recipe)#so when i saw they had a cookbook now i had to get it!! its so cute!!#I also bought a bunch of dice bc i love dice and i was with two people who play a lot of d/n/d and enabled me lolol#i havent played in a while but they invited to play sometime and i do wanna join!! so why not#hard to take good pics of the dice tho i get what the sales person at e/verythingd/ice was saying#speaking of: shoutout to that sales person for hustling to get us to spend so much. they are good at what they do. im not even mad#they werent mean or anything but they had a job to do and did it well#the stone dice on the black box was from a different company but i saw those dice and knew i had to get them. they called to me#havent had dice do that since i bought a set at a card shop in italy#the p/ersona tote i got from a booth that had a persona themed pc and you had to take a pic of the display and tweet it to get the bag#we tried saturday but they ran out fast so we had to run to the booth sunday to get it
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pupkou · 6 months ago
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i’m literally going to **** ******
#i’ve been without T for a month or so because my doctor forgot to prescribe it again when my last prescription period was over bc she could#only prescribe it a year at a time. so i went in to do bloodwork because ive been having health problems like getting a light period and#PMDD a year and a half into being on T and it happened to be when she was supposed to represcribe which iwas like ok nice!#but she forgot to represcribe it so I was 2 weeks without it before I realized that hmm something probably happened#so I called her and she fixed it. then the pharmacy told me that they're out of stock. so I called them to find out when it'd be in stock.#then they said it's in stock but she prescribed me the 10mL bottle when my insurance doesn't cover that. so I called her again to fix that.#and she said that she didn't prescribe me that because why would she when my shots aren't even close to 1 mL? so I called the pharmacy#and they said yeah idk who said that it's wrong. your T will be ready later today. I go to pick it up and quite literally the moment I pull#up to the window the pharmacists pull down the shade that says they're closed on lunch. so ive had horrible mental health and physical symp#oms for the past month because I've been without t right? so I thought okay when I come back home from moving out of my apt#because my pharmacy is in my hometown; then ill get my T. and then once I get my T I can start my new medication because I want my levels t#stabilize before we introduce something new into the ecosystem. and im cleaning my apartment today and going through bags and shit and lo a#behold? there are four fucking boxes of T sitting in a bag in my closet JUST LIKE I THOUGHT! I JUST COULD NOT FIND THEM so ive been going#through hell for fucking nothing. for literally nothing. and I was like oh my god okay I have my T I should go and pick up my new medicatio#and I go to get my shoes on and look at the clock and it's 5:01. they close at 5.#and I have my appointment with my psychiatrist on Wednesday where shes going to ask me how it's been starting my medication and im going to#have to tell her I havent started and im not better at all and im so new to her im nervous what she will say. sorry for being crazy. im not#good at this or medication. sorry. do you want me to kill myself ill do it in front of you if that would help. AUGHHHHGHHGHGHHHHHHHHHHGGHGH#NONE OF THIS HAD TO HAPPEN. I JUST HAVE SO MUCH SHIT IN MY APARTMENT BECAUSE ITS SO SMALL THAT I COULD NOT FIND PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION#I HATE IT HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME OUTTTTTT (in my brain)
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chemicalarospec · 7 months ago
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The funniest thing I wholeheartedly believe is that I have a neurodivergency not catergorizable or diagnosable as any currently recognized disorder. (disorder emphaized because heavily impairing functioning is generally a requirement of the clinical definition and a condition of diagnosis, and although i'm vexed i still Get By Just Fine)
because like yes those probably exist; there's no way psychiatry is in its final form now and there are definitely levels of neuro-difference that don't qualify as disorders, but like. that's so random and it's kinda pretentious to make such a bold claim about yourself. like oh u wanna be special, huh? 🙄 just be AuDHD like everyone else (<- joking)
#look the Mental Illness is bad frequently enough the PMS prolly is exasterbating SOMETHING but what?? who knows#maybe testorterone would fix me... i'm afriad but i've been thinking about trying it a lot#i've been so clsoe to having persistant depression (looking back something was wrong with me in middle school???)#but it just isn't consistant and strong enough to be dysthymia#cuz like i don't feel sad so much as i just feel. psychologically unwell. maybe i've just always been stressed.#the lack of focus being a PMS symtpom is too real tho once i found that out i was like. damn that's why i thought i had ADHD sometimes and#then i wouldn't.#my autism score test ONLY being outside of 100% allistic range on the social stuff....#but i'm not a poor enough communicator for that to be a disorder#like there's all these little parts and they don't come together in the shape of anything i know#anxiety but not as bad as my mom who can't even get diagnosed bc it doesn't impair her functioning -'trich' but i don't pull; i snap or cut#but i'm still going to see a gyncologist bc PMS is the only lead i've got#i am goign to bring up T but tbh i think that's outside of their domains....#i wish menopause didn;t exist bc typical birth control is NOT an option bc high risk of hormone-positive breast cancer#but blocking my menstrual cycle would honestly be my dream outcome#but my understanding is if i don't replace E with T i just go into menopause and htne like. well my mom's going through it now and it#doesnt seem like. a good time.#I said this#personal
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galacticlamps · 8 months ago
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actually ascension needs its own post since that's the one with the most details to speculate over and im starved for soho talk so i will talk to myself if need be
First the cover again, because I kinda can't get over it:
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my only thing is that I had been hoping we might get Lizbeth on a cover again since she's never been on one of the boxsets before, despite being the 2nd person credited on all 4 of them (even if that's just alphabetical, still, she's the only one of the four main characters who never makes the cover)
But letting that go...
I know we already kinda knew the brief for this one but damn I didn't expect it to go quite this hard. Maybe that's just because the Parasite & Ashenden covers were (comparatively) similarish to each other and I was so pleased with Unbegotten's, and then got so used to it as the placeholder for Ascension while they kept postponing it, I wasn't expecting anything this colorful or detailed or with what I can't help but register as Fun New Outfits even though these are still like, pretty damn basic as far as costumes go. Still, it's a different vibe from everyone in suits and trenchcoats on every cover, technically. (Oh the woes of being an audio fan such that two characters owning sweaters actually does qualify as new information)
On top of just being visually delightful though, I know we knew religion was gonna be a fairly big part of this one, but I didn't actually expect to get quite this much of it - though I'm glad of it for a number of reasons. The BF twitter already made the ineffable joke so I don't have to, but also yeah I did very much spend all of season 2 episode 4 of good omens half convinced Samuel Barnett & Dervla Kirwan were about to pop up around any given corner (if you will go around being gay supernatural and horrible at your messy bureaucratic jobs in midcentury soho then I'm sorry, this is where my brain's gonna go) - so, fuel to that fire. But in terms of actual important things, at least one of my Soho wishes looks to be being granted because we have a Rev Edward Folgate on the cast list, which must mean we're finally meeting Norton's father, even if his mother & brother don't appear (which they could, technically, I've definitely seen BF not list all the doublings on their cast tabs before). Religion, domesticity, and the nuclear family are all things that absolutely fascinate me when it comes to Norton's character, so getting any amount of story involving his father & his church is something I've been actively hoping for for a long time now.
(I will say I'm a tiny bit bummed Saffron Coomber isn't on the cast list to play Mia again, but I kinda figured she wasn't going to be since Greg Austin's Armitage, who's making his first recurring appearance after originating in Unbegotten, was listed ever since the boxset was announced - presumably if she was also returning, that would've been handled in the same way. But since Unbegotten ended with Lizbeth and Mia going on a date, I still held out hope. Who knows though, maybe things did go well for them and Lizbeth just has a better work/life balance than Norton so she can date someone without them getting dragged into every scifi plot. I know that's not a very common accomplishment for any Torchwood agent, but a gal can hope)
At this point I know I'm completely in the realm of speculation & even wishful thinking, but I'm really really hoping we get some more clues as to Norton's overall timeline in this one, and I have a feeling that even if there's nothing as direct as dates given, the events of a plot like this one are going to heavily influence my personal interpretation of it.
To say that life & death are major themes for the soho crew feels wildly reductive, but even by Torchwood's standards and taking into account its origins as a piece of media with Jack Harkness & his newfound immortality at the heart of it, the living/dead status of this bunch has always been fantastically up in the air to me. Obviously Ghost Mission introduced Norton as kind of a ghost before revealing more obvious ghostly characters later on to which the title might have been referring, but his being from the past did beg the question of his survival into Torchwood's present era all the same, which Outbreak later alludes to much more directly, and his habit of showing up via hologram in multiple stories only further obfuscates any certainty we might have about where & when he definitely can be said to be alive and well. Then you've got Lizbeth and Gideon both being effectively 'brought back to life' via paradoxes that prevented them ever having died in the first place. Again, they are very very far from being the only Torcwhood characters this happens to (for a sprawling EU, it's really rather impressive how often & in how many different ways Torchwood as a whole manages to circle back to being about like. chaotic undead queers at the end of every day. though I suppose that consistency is part of why I keep falling in love with its different iterations again and again). That's without even getting into the question of Norton's dubious fate in God Among Us - and I say dubious because I know some people take that to be his ultimate death, but I personally think that reading something as vague as that as having any kind of finality rather goes against the spirit of this whole world/series, not just because I want him to live. (There are obviously other ways to make him survive/reappear, but I don't see this as a River Song scenario where we can safely assume one of his earlier-released adventures had to happen at the end of his personal timeline). But wherever God Among Us falls for him, he does very much meet God in it - or at least, a god, since the sentinel in Unbegotten is also described as a god of sorts, and even if he doesn't ultimately have the status of the god Jacqueline King is playing there, Unbegotten is still full to bursting with ghosts/undead/came back wrong/echo characters to continue underscoring that life/afterlife theme.
So all things considered, even allowing for the fact that we know Norton's twin hobbies are lying about himself and abusing time travel to suit his own ends/ever-shifting alliances, I find it difficult to believe we could get through a whole 6-part boxset about religion & death without something providing some kind of compelling evidence about where this adventure fits in among his other run-ins with apocalypses and gods and ghosts and dead-but-still-here characters/creatures, so I'm very much looking forward to any further exploration on that front.
And lastly, and least intellectually, I really want to know what the hell 20th-century Torchwood's obsession with Reginalds is. Reading through the cast list, I had to do two separate doubletakes over the character 'Sir Reginald Peebles' - firstly, because I had Reginald Rigsby on the brain, this being Soho (and the other Troughton brother being so active on BF's releases for this same month) - and secondly, because reading this in conjunction with the announcement for the July monthly adventure in which the new main Torchwood guy of the 20s is apparently called Sir Reginald Dellafield, there was a brief moment where I took that monthly release to be a tie-in with Ascension. I don't expect it to be, but damn. was it really so popular a name?
anyways, catch me thinking about those stained glass windows for the next couple months I guess (and knowing Torchwood Soho, for a long long time after it comes out as well lol)
#torchwood soho: ascension#let's start with the most obvious shall we? behind norton - hellfire or divine radiance? whadda we think?#i know one's much more likely for him but also consider: he's been a fairly good boy by norton standards anyway lately#well i say 'lately' like i know when this takes place#idk why but i kinda feel like this starts very soon after unbegotten#comedy is probably why honestly. since that ends with them being like hey! something went right!#i think ever since i first heard that i was like ok cool so the next installment's gonna be something earth shatteringly bad#& it's gonna kick off dramatically literally one second after this scene ends right?#not that it wouldnt be nice to have some (clearly-defined) timeskip there#tbh i feel like that's the one thing that's missing with soho sometimes - those little medium-sized gaps in continuity#where either speculation or even a missing scenes style fic would go#between parasite & ashenden lizbeth was dead and andy wasnt in the right era for soho shenanigans#and norton and gideon went through SO much offscreen (offmic?)#rebuilding torchwood and starting a relationship and breaking up and getting possessed by space eels and destroying torchwood again#that's like... Too Much to analyze/meaningfully discuss without a few more details from canon#and between Ashenden & Unbegotten it's very unclear how much time has passed#norton certainly seems affected when he sees gideon again for the first time but we also know he went there for him so how long was it?#that and we have literally zero explanation for what andy's doing in the 50s in that one to begin with. has he been there continuously?#or did he leave and come back? if so did norton even have to try justifying it to him?#or does andy just accept at this point that he'll be summoned for anything norton feels is noteworthy? honestly either's plausible w him#but also we have so little confirmed about what torchwood looks like at this point in time!#maybe andy gets summoned for all missions bc he norton and lizbeth are virtually the only agents left after gideon quits#there's just a few too many things unexplained/alluded to for me to go total total fandom mode on this#speculating & theorizing about everything that happens off-audio#doubtless this is mainly bc of norton's general untrustworthiness#like im sure a different main character would've left the audience with fewer uncertainties after this many hours of storytelling#but with soho im still left needing just a tiiiiiny bit more before i feel im knowledgeable enough about the situation to expand upon it#in the traditional fandomy 'transformative' way#right now most of my fanning over it is just speculation about what precisely we can be confident in from the dialogue we do have#but i'd like to go further than that truly. these characters captivate me. obviously.
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