#but gonna do that when im less tired
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
progress :> not gonna actually line this but significantly cleaned up the basic shapes/sketch- gonna try and color and shade this tomorrow,, wonna animate 1-2 more neco-arc kunikida things then throw all of them together in a trashy edit its gonna be great
#kite draws#not tagging fandoms/char cuz they don't need to be spammed by wips aaa#wonna also uhhh redo the ponytail and left side of hair cuz it looks chunky ough /neg#but gonna do that when im less tired#peace freax#also rn he dances rlly well to the Hit Minecraft Parody Song Revenge#creeper... aw man- SO WE BACK IN THE MINE-
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
MED SCHOOL SUCKS BALLS I NEED TO FOCUS ON MY CLASS STUDIES BUT I NEED TO FOCUS ON MY RESEARCH BUT I NEED TO FOCUS ON MY USMLE PREP BUT I NEED TO FOCUS ON MY INTERNSHIP BUT I NEED TO FOCUS ON MY OWN HEALTH AND EXERCISE AND DIET BUT I NEED TO FOCUS ON-- (gets shot)
#dont even get me started on volunteering#I CANT DO IT ALL I CANT#HOW AM I GONNA BE A SURGEON#IM SO OUT OF SHAPE I CANT EVEN STAND WITHOUT GETTING TIRED#i need to hit the gym again but WHEN#i am so tired guys#but to stop being tired i need to eat#but when i dont exercise i dont get hungry#and if i dont get hungry then im ALWAYS TIRED#clawing at the bars of my enclosure#LET ME OUT PLEASE#medblr#i guess#mbbs hell get me out#ID HATE IT LESS IF MY UNI DIDNT SUCK BALLS#MOST DISORGANIZED FUCKING SCHOOL#CANT SCHEDULE ROTATIONS CANT SCHEDULE CLASSES#NOTHING HAPPENS IN A TIMELY MANNER#THE LECTURES SUCK ASS#ITS MORE PRODUCTIVE FOR ME TO STUDY AT HOME#BUT ATTENDANCE IS MANDATORY THEY WON'T LET ME TAKE MY EXAMS IF I DONT HAVE ATTENDANCE#LET ME OUTTTTTTTT
87 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sometimes your Mental Illness™ is kicking your ass and all you can do is offer the first hot, non-leftover meal you managed to prep in the day at 10:30 pm to Apollo & ask for help getting to *and* getting through your appointment tomorrow and that's okay
#the first thing i offered over the past two or three days b/c OOH boy this depression has HANDS#gonna be talking to my psychiatrist about changing meds b/c i think i've finally developed a tolerance to mine & im already on the high dose#so i dont really want to up it any more than it already has been (which is what she suggested last appointment)#i usually at least offer at hot meals but i didnt have the energy for that even#it doesnt help that im recovering from a big work presentation where i ran tech (aka keeping the powerpoints & other visual aids running)#all. day. which *i* offered to do but that doesnt make it any less tiring#...i also think i forgot to offer something to hermes that i was meaning to. gonna have to do that#i *was* planning on doing a tarot check-in on friday but uh. im definitely not in the right emotional headspace for that atm#gonna have to wait for when i can do more than lie in bed all day#listen to your body & brain folks. it's okay if all your energy has to go into riding something out#& you dont have the energy for all the rituals/prayers/offerings/etc that you usually do#coriander says#helpol#hellenic pagan#hellenic polytheism#hellenic community#apollo#my post#mental health cw#depression cw#ive been offering the steam from hot meals to hestia too ofc b/c. you know. first & last#it felt weird not mentioning that somewhere#i *do* offer to just her or to her 'and all the deathless gods of olympus' too
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
yall Im so fucking tired. This month has been exhausting. I promise Im alive, just barely functional atm.
#personal#rant below#begining of the month docs said dad had less than a month. Hes still around but declining#been taking care of him and my mom#along with working full time#and my boyfriend doing his damndest to keep me busy when Im not helping with dad#which is great except Im so tired#but also I havent been able to sleep much#and I've lost my appetite which apparently is a grief thing I didn't know about#So I've managed to get all the physical grief symptoms and it is taking a fucking toll#so your girl is sleeping in tomorrow and spending the day doing my own little crafts and avoiding people as much as I can#a girl just wants some sleep and a fulfilling snack but all she is being given are slight naps and unappealing food. send help.#anyways after this experience Ive decided that I no longer give any fucks because you only live once so Im just gonna do what I want foreve#and actually live life instead of being constrained by societal standards#after all this is over of course. gotta take care of dad first#also I got to paint the door because he was sick of staring at the porch. so its a lake view now#woooo#yeah so thats my life update for you all#also I saw a girl for the first time in 9 years today who completely changed the tradgetory of my life and didn't know it. so that was fun.#exhausing but fun#also idgaf about spelling right now I am running on caffeine and pure will power atm
50 notes
·
View notes
Text
And what if I said that the reason Sheila hates Sammi so much is because Sheila sees her own worst qualities in Sammi that she hates herself for
#its 3am so im not gonna make an in depth post about it now but cmon guys#she hates sammi for being a clingy and needy bad mother#sheila is clingy and needy!! like at the start of s4 when shes around the gallaghers all the time and wont leave them alone#also she needed karen so bad and got super attached to frank#shes also scared about being a bad mother and felt guilty about the times that she was one like she apologises to karen about how her#agoraphobia and ocd affected karens childhood#'but sheila never kicked karen out to have sex with a random guy' yeah but sheila did bring a random man home to stay (frank) and slept with#karens husband#likeeee#anyway i actually do want to make a post on this later when im less tired#shameless#shameless us#sheila jackson#sammi slott#frank gallagher#karen jackson
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
its important to go see a low stakes concert sometimes
#as in seeing someone in concert youre not an absolute nutbag about (as i have done this year and last year)#but last night me n my dad went and saw renaissance on their farewell tour#running on like 4 hours of sleep and seething to be at work right now#or rather i would be seething if i weren't so tired#new anger management hack: just get less sleep so your senses are dulled! anyway#funniest part of the night was the multiples times when my dad who is old was like 'everyone here is so old :/'#he was literally like 'if i ever get like these people just shoot me' LMAO#the concert was good i wouldn't call it like great or fantastic but such is the beauty of a low stakes concert#youre not living and dying on every song youre not singing along to everything youre just. enjoyin the show normally which is crazy#again as someone who has seen two bands (both bands two separate times and is seeing one of those bands a THIRD TIME soon) im crazy over#that experience is fun its bonkers and you definitely gotta do it for the bands youre crazy over. you gotta#but it was nice to just. have a regular time at a show#as far as the show itself there were a few little moments where things didnt go as smooth but that may have been bc it was the first show#and save for a few moments in some songs annie haslam knocked it out of the park she can still sing as insanely good as she used to#again some parts of songs were in a lower key? but most seemed to be the same and she was still hitting those bonkers high notes#so good for her. the band was pretty good but i felt they really only like all worked together well on a few songs#if that makes sense. but overall pretty good#and my anxieties about getting there and back were unfounded bc somehow it all worked. yay#our car service trip home was in a tesla i felt like i was gonna die the entire ride home lol#i am NEVER getting in one of those stupid cars again. big ass ipad as your dashboard this is insane???? im so scared???#anywho. old musicians are forever as ive been saying lately. and they really are#oh also we were at the town hall which is a nice small theater i was worried abt bein too far away but it's laid out really well#in that you're sure to get a pretty good view of the stage#it seems like half the size roughly of the beacon for whatever thats worth#OH i did see one dude somewhere in the audience with a sparks shirt so. hashtag represent#yet another concert report. yayyyyy#(im so tired)
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
exciting update on the state of the scoundrel and the scientist's marriage/engagement/complicated roommate situationship:
It Sure Is Going!
#caeru's finally learning how to gossip. im so proud#sometimes i send rp responses between these two just to act out their dynamic. im playing with my dolls#yin-thoughts#fallen london#currently we're at 700+ wedding prep. the scoundrel would of course accept no less than a marriage at the bazaar itself#so their status quo is just gonna continue to be bickering fiance haters for the next while#i'll post when it finally Does happen so anyone who wants to attend can come along#the scoundrel's guest of honor was always gonna be mr wines anyway. all other invitees are side pieces in comparison#(at least. to their gay little mind)#the scientist is already testing his own patience doing this scheme in the first place. he'd welcome any company that isnt his spouse#any company. ever. please. for the love of all that is holy. Literally Anyone. he's so tired of putting up with them.#though if you suggest he simply moves out he gives you a weird look and mutters about how preposterous the concept is#their relationship is complicated.#scoundrelventures
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ughhh I keep remembering the fucked up dream I had that hurt my feelings the other night...
#dream about person i like that i gave up on because they got with someone else#just straight up looking me in the eyes and telling me how they knew i liked them#and they liked me but only when i was younger and prettier and more useful#and how they loat attraction to me and im never going to be good enough for anyone#they would never say thsi irl#but it hit me so personally in my dream#idk why my mind came after my insecurities so hard#but idk#feelimg a bit bummed this week#kinda feelin and thinkin#idk#maybe i give up#im tired of getting my feefees hurt#because the only ppl i like are great and make amazing frieultibut ultimately end up in fufilling great relationships with other ppl#i hardly catch feelimgs for ppl anyore at this point#i dont think i could ever be my person with anyone else#and when i do make that bond#it doesnt work out because its just me getting stupid infatuated#i give up#blah blah blah your only 25 and ppl will want you blah blah blah#no they dont#they wont#i give up!!#im tired+!#its not worth it iv accept that its not gonna happen for me#and im too shy to do anything casual either#so im just gonna be on my own and be miserable#its fine#im too needy and i need to work on it#i need to need and want ppl less
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#my dads back in ohio again so im back on my own. i still feel terrible but at least i have a plan#i have 2 weeks of this semester left. so i have to not fail my genomics exam and work on a group project plus grade a bunch#shouldnt be too hard but everything makes me so tired rn and i just feel this barrier between myself and everything else#even when my dad was here. i just dont kno how to feel happy. just varied levels of stress#but after the semester is over ill have to find a job for the summer. which super stresses me out bc i havent really had a real job outside#academia and im worried about how stressful ill find it bc im sure its gonna suck but at least i wont have to work on my project#i just think if i had a normal job that doesnt dominate every aspect of my life id feel a little less terrible. or at least i wouldnt send#myself spiralling so much. if i stay here i might not survive it#but what if ill just make myself miserable wherever i am? i dunno. but im gonna try to find a non academic job this summer with the epa or#maybe the usgs. i mean ive gota a bachelor's and a masters in environmental topics. that's gotta count for something#just get a government job. pray for a not terrible set of coworkers. and build something from there#it just sucks bc i feel like everythings falling apart and like i kno if i gave it my all i could pull thru and get my phd but im just so#tired of struggling against something everyone else can do. i just cant read at a level appropriate for what im doing#ugh. i dont wanna study for genomics. i just wanna sleep. i just wish i wasn't in this position#and now i a baby about it. i mean my sisters r in similar positions bc the youngest is currently looking for a teaching job. and my middle#sister is looking to move to new york city in the next 6 months and she'd be quitting her job for that. so we're all sorta in flux#i just wanna not be flailing. not watch my hopes and dreams collapse. be excited about anything. im just sad bc i have to make hard choices#even if i know theyre the right ones to make if i want to continue to exist. sometimes u cant have the things u wany.#and that sucks and i hate it. theme of the year: sometimes life sucks and theres nothing u can do abt it#unrelated
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
*walks in, removes eye protective wear and hangs up labcoat after a long day of Observing One Piece Ship Discourse On Twitter fieldwork* so while it may appear strange that people really readily say "luffy is canon aroace/doesnt care about any of that" whenever someone makes a truther post about luffy/hancock and then those same people may turn around and share a bunch of posts about gay ships involving luffy, it's actually more of a symptom of the fact that while most people posting said gay luffy ships are completely aware that their ships will not/could not/probably even should not actually be canon and are deep in the hypothetical, many dudebro types who ship luffy with hancock are completely convinced that their ship absolutely should or even will become canon, simply because he is a male protagonist and she is an extremely attractive woman who is interested in him, and it makes "no sense" for luffy to not go with her, either because they think that is how Stories Should Work (heteronormativity) or because they want Coolguy Chad Luffy and think having a hot woman obsessed with him like, adds to his coolness points in some vague objectifying way, which got more and more misogynistic sounding the longer i tried to find a way to word that sentence. this last interpretation does disservice to both of their characters and frankly, completely doesn't comply with any of the reasons hancock fell in love with him in canon in the first place. if you look for more then a minute at either of their characters you can tell that in canon it would never work, not even just because luffy is completely and entirely disinterested and in all likelihood that will never change, but because although I would say hancock's love is based on real traits of his she respects and was deeply moved by, she idolizes him and her fantasies about being with him involve shit he wouldn't actually do or say. she loves him because he's, literally, the only man she's ever met- and in the current day, often only person she knows across the board besides literally her sisters, who doesn't immediately treat her like a sexual object- and he only doesn't because of his fundamental and absolute disinterest in her, romantically or sexually. they exist in a paradox, and that paradox is used as a source of comic relief. what they have going on would be LESS interesting if he liked her in that way. if he was interested in her she would not like him in the first place. this got really off topic sorry. what im saying is this is why 1 person posting about how luffy and hancock are Totally Canon Endgame because who could turn down such a bad bitch!!!!!!! is a mischaracterization statement that prompts response or backlash in a way that 20 people posting zolu making out sloppy style in a corner completely aware that they are indulging in a mirror dimension and He Would Not Fucking Say That is not
#one piece#not gonna tag this with any characters im not gonna subject more people to this post on purpose.#I will add that personally the fact luffy is 17 and hancock is 29 when she falls in love with him also makes it not my cup of tea#but i dint mention that in the post because I don't think its actually necessarily relevant to the logistics here#since the story itself Doesnt Bother With That. i just bother with that separately#this is less about the fact thats fuckin peculiar and more subliminally about how i hate that duebros objectify the character#whos entire deal w trust and shit is how she cant ever escape being objectified by other characters in universe#and then specifically do it in regards to one of her only bonds with another character who Doesn't do that#like. SCREAM#sorry if this analysis is really tired or smthn im watching the show for the first time so idk whats been said on this previously#THIS ISNT MEANT TO BE SHIP HATE IM SORRY#if youre reading this even tho you dont know one piece and are curious on how im so certain he doesn't like her a bit of context:#hancock's power is basically that if anybody feels even the slightest bit of desire for her at all she can hit them with a beam#and itll instantly turn them to stone. this has worked on literally everybody ever men and women alike#like she does a little maneuver and it sets that ''oh shit shes hot'' reactor off in their head and she hits them with a beam#luffy crashes through the ceiling of her house and ends up seeing her while shes bathing#and she hits him with the beam and it still does nothing. because hes luffy and he doesnt care about all that etc
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#im so tired of the 'it will get better' school of mental health reassurance#how far forward do i have to look.#i was thinking abt not wanting to exist anymore when i was 6.#when i was 9 the idea of intentionally trying to get hit by a car first entered my mind#i used to stab pens into my arm as hard as i could when i got upset when i was 12 and planned to hang myself with my own shoelaces#it's been 15 years since i first thought about suicide and almost 10 since i first tried#im so tired. everything has always been so bleak and nothing has ever felt worth it to me. how far forward do i have to look#none of the treatments ive tried or have available to me work.#how long do i have to wait before any of this becomes even remotely bearable??#im so tired. im going to be 25 in less than a month and ive never in all those years felt like my life was worth living#at this point the only thing stopping me is that the supply of insulin in the house is low. that's gonna change soon.#there's no hope of improvement. ive been getting worse week on week.#i had my first psychotic episode in almost a year last week#i can't do this anymore. it's fucked. it's all fucked.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
goodnight angels 💕
#i was gonna say up later but i feel like all the requests i keep starting end up looking...not that good compared to what i-#-know i could do when im less tired#and also im lowkey really sorry that these are taking me SO long to get thru#i really am very grateful for all of yall and im so glad yall sent them 🫶#but this month has just been so much for me#and i swear ill be on top of it soon <33#sky.txt
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
WHY AM I SO EEPY!!!!! WHY NOW!!! I HAVE ATTACKS TO MAKE!!!! REVENGES NEED TO BE DONE!!!! THIS IS CATASTROPHIC!!!!!!!
#BRUH!!!!!!!!#when im tired like this i am not in the mood to do ANYTHING and im a lot more sluggish#sometimes i dont even realize im tired until hours later 💀#that kind of happened today and ive been so unproductive!!!!!#HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO GET 8 ATTACKS DONE IN LESS THAN 2 DAYS#BLEASE its the bare minimum i wanna finish with i gotta draw these characters for af i cant wait a whole year 😭#gonna try having a nap and when i wake up im going INSANE#ill probably pull an all nighter#stay up until artfight is just about to end#then i gotta conk bc i have an appt the next day LMAO#arragharraiuhrhgeha#grrr
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
If I could change one thing in my life I'd make it so no one ever commented on food
#elias.zip#im so fucking tired of it!!! joking or not its fucking degrading. just constantly. i get it im so fucking unhealthy all i eat is processed#chemical slop thats gonna kill me at 30 and im the unhealthiest person in the fucking work#world* you dont need to fucking remind me every goddamn day. even the comments that arent bad still make me feel likr shit for eating!!! i#already feel really bad about how poorly i eat. i literally cannot fucking starve myself more basically over this kind of comment.#like damn!!! i sure do have a lot of body issues for someone whos skinny WHY am i even complaining in the first place likr i used to fucking#hate my stomach and its noy when#even* big and i think its gone down bc i eat even less now!!! i cannoy make ANYONE happy no matter what i do or what i cook its always comme#nt comment comment in everything i fucking do. i swear to god im never going to fucking recover from living with them. i would've run away i#f i grew up with them im serious#negative#ihateithereihateithereihateithere#nothing's working out. i csnt make friends. i csnt keep them. im a fucking deadbeat im just like my dad in every conceivable way no ones pr#oud of me no matter what i do and i fucked myslef from any opportunity i had to get out of the system what is the fucking point#i jsut dont knoe anymore!!!!!! its not like the Future even looks good or that i see myself anywwhre but in the exact same spot because all#i ever fucking manage to achieve is self sabotage and whining about how no one loves me. god!!!!!
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
(venting in the tags ignore this lol)
#minhmy.rambles#(i just need to shout this somewhere where my friends don't see so they don't worry too much about me)#but oh my god work just got worse for this week im already working every day but tomorrow (aka in six and a half hours)#i will start at 5am and end at 9pm aka a double shift bc my coworker tested positive and there's no one else that can work#just for tomorrow but the rest of the week ill be working 1-9#which i hate even though im used to it night shifts are just boringgggg and takes up a lot of my time#which i already have so little of#my mom said i should clean my closet and i was going to tomorrow bc i wanted to play grandfest today but now i cant do that#bc ill literally be at work all day lol#and god its just so hard its so so hard but it could be worse. it literally could be worse#i cant be here as much anymore bc im so busy and tired i just draw when i can and drop them all here and leave#and i miss writing a lot but i have even less time and even less motivation and the more i work the more awful i feel#and i don't want to worry anyone like . i just don't#but its so difficult for me it really is#theres so many things i want to do but i cant do any of it and im so tired im literally so tired#like im not gonna end my life kinda tired i have a lot to look forward to. but work just really sucks and i am Tired#and i Like my job its literally the easiest and ill never have something like this again#but urghghghh. urggfhhghgh. death pain and suffering#if i draw more sif and loop suffering lol. this is why. i need to get the emotions out somehow and i don't want to cry over it#i cant cry bc i need to work i just have to keep my head up i just have to keep at it i just have to be strong and not break#i can do it i can.. i know i can i've been through worse#its just. augh.#ok done. sorry i rly rly should sleep soon bc of my 16 hour shift tmrw lol its past 10:30pm already
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Using my brain like a metal detector to figure out what the FUCK it wants to do
#*shakes brain* what do you want??? food isnt working acnh isnt working weaving isnt working#im gonna fucking riot#im understimulated but just listening to a video feels OVERstimulating#i get bored & tired two minutes after starting a thing#but i want to do SOMETHING#i was in bed almost all day yesterday b/c i couldnt get myself to do anything else for more than. like. an hour at a time#or maybe less (it felt like less anyway)#i do NOT want to do that again#if my new meds dont do anything to help istg (im not gonna do anything im just gonna be upset)#depressions a bitch and i hate it!!!#im tired but i got a good amount of sleep the past few nights so its not from that??? i know its the Mental Illness but. still#i do NOT want to just take a NAP all DAY i want to DO things when im OFF from WORK#is this what it was like pre-meds??? b/c if so HOW#i legitimately dont remember#personal#jay rambles#mental health cw#depression cw#im. so fucking tired of this shit if the new meds do the thing where it makes things worse for the first few weeks#im still not gonna do anything im just gonna be upset about it. and there's a real chance i wont be able to work full hours#which i cant afford atm#i MADE SURE i had enough food for lung and i havent had half of it b/c i started and my brain went “mm no you're full actually”#(i very distinctly am NOT full. but now it has a bad Mouth Feel and im going insane)#(gonna try knitting next to see if that works)#food mention
2 notes
·
View notes