#or maybe less (it felt like less anyway)
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dem0nyo · 1 month ago
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☆ six hairstyles!!!!1! (no idea what to title this) ☆
a bit random, but i guess the common theme here is micro bangs. suitable for your vampires and darkly-inclined simmies (or whoever really). most of these were wips from last year and the way i make hairs has changed a bit since, but thought i'd still share them.
unedited CAS screenshots and more info under the cut.
BGC
feminine frame
24 EA swatches + 17 extras
teen-elder
hat compatible
all LODS, all maps
TOU
✧‧₊˚ DOWNLOAD: Patreon (FREE) | SFS ‧₊˚✧
thank you so much for the support <3 if there are any issues, please lmk
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still not sure if i like render previews so i included CAS pics anyway. renders are nice looking but they don’t accurately preview how CC looks in-game and they can take a long time, at least on my PC still running on 2017 hardware. my GPU is decent but everything else, not so much. anyway...
Maila 🦇 (7377 polys)
named after Maila Nurmi aka Vampira, this is a Chelsea cut with v-shaped bangs and pigtails. this was actually a request i did last year based on someone's OC. idk if they have a Tumblr, but shoutout to them anyway <3
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Rosario 📿 (16625 polys)
another older one. i'm thinking about making this unisex but i'm so dejected rn i don't feel like opening Blender for a bit (someday tho). it's not locked to fem frames but it will clip with the neck when put on masc frames.
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Odette ⚰ (15485 polys)
based on this one hairstyle i saw on Pinterest, i can't find it for some reason even though i made this fairly recently.
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Lucinda ☀ (19814 polys)
wavy jellyfish cut, this is the most recent one i made. it’s for an OC of mine and it's probably my favorite out of all these. maybe.
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Yesenia 🕷 (10869 polys)
just a little edit of the L&D updo, nothing too special. made this when the pack just came out. i could’ve done more with it and added more strands because i like to suffer but it’s fine.
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Valentina 🖤 (17332 polys)
idk honestly. this was meant to be for personal use but i thought it was cute enough to share.
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filurig · 2 months ago
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soo this little silly is kind of a thing i made cuz of a class in uni. but yes a silly lindwurm but they have been Realed... head and feet are 3d printed/painted with acrylics while the body is needle felted!
theyre not a super solid character or anything but actually they sort of are bcs they are a minor character in pareidolia. But i just thought it would be funny to make a lindwurm model especially with their weird long face
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stealingpotatoes · 2 years ago
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hands you all this cal to announce i’ve FINALLY finished fallen order (by which i mean i finally picked it up again after those couple hours i played a few months ago and then finished the whole game in 2 days lol)
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gracebriarwoodwrites · 3 months ago
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I write fragile on a dozen boxes salvaged from recycling I forgot to take out before I knew I was moving and my hand shakes even more each time. The lines bleed off the box corners and into me. I'm fragile, you see.
#poem#poetry#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#long story short i have made choices in my life such that my only option when i hit this present juncture#was to move home and i am not handling the lack of choice well#in my first year living here especially i bought beautiful fragile things because i love beautiful fragile things and because i thought#i was on the path that my next move would be my last one. i was going to buy a home and that would be it and i'd only need to pack up#my whole life once more and so i could justify the vintage vases and such. but the past couple of years have been brutal on me#and i've made choices that i stand by and choices that i don't and now i'm moving home and it's less than ideal but i'll make it work#perhaps this is short story long#anyway. before i first moved in my roommate texted me from home depot because she and her boyfriend were at home depot#and i was at work at the time. and she wanted to know what color i wanted my room because they were gonna paint my room that day#and i didn't have time to make a decision and she's an artist with a great eye so i sent her my pinterest decor board and said maybe a gree#like this kind of green? and she got this gorgeous green reminiscent of a paris green that looks amazing with all my art on the walls#but i just had to take the art down. i'm in the middle of the task actually. and now it's just this big green expanse#and i'm not feeling so good about leaving this place#but the way i felt so safe and so loved when i got that text and when i got here and saw that the room was painted bc they wanted me to sta#the past few years have been not so good in a lot of ways like i said but this place was an island of peace for me when things were rough#anyway. fragile. thanks for listening
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odysseys-blood · 1 year ago
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ive been wondering forever about when exactly levi was kidnapped and taken to the heaven lab and this bit from his new unit's board here doesnt help much but i wonder if those are just the first words he remembers learning and not the first words hes learned overall.
mainly this is all just speculation based on 2 things:
1) he ofc had some sort of childhood before the heaven lab from how old he looked at the time, plus his selfie comic art looking younger than his sprite art from ch5 (look at his little horns plus his hair's grown out)
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2) he does also just say straight up that he doesn't remember his life from before the lab
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i wonder if that means he had to get reacquainted with the kings all over again too. like he wouldnt recognize them at all even with how it looks like they often played together. (tho i do suspect a little that some comics might have been done before there was a more coherent story put together but thats whatever)
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revvethasmythh · 5 months ago
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So I went and watched all the possible endings, and it confirmed something I had been thinking, which is that the redemption ending choice is, perhaps, the most immediately regretful one--but that they all come with some form of regret. In the redemption ending, Rook has to knowingly deny themselves the catharsis of retribution (should they desire it, which, at least for me it felt difficult not to) in order to offer Solas one last, painful chance to do the right thing. That willful denial of your own catharsis feels like an immediate regret. Giving Solas the opportunity to pursue atonement might very well be the best choice all around, but it is also incredibly painful to offer that to someone who has done so many terrible things (not a small amount to you personally). Why does he deserve another chance? Especially when so many dead (including a beloved mentor) lie in his wake? Which, I suppose, is the point: he doesn't. But you offer it anyway and it SUCKS ASS, because how could it not?
I don't know how this plays with other story choices (a sacrificed Davrin or a Harding who embraced her anger, for example), but within the context of my own choices, I can imagine an immediate satisfaction to either tricking or fighting him--especially the trick ending, where you can actively name drop Varric--but it feels like the sort of thing that would feel worse as more time passes. Once you've calmed down and are able to ask yourself if that's what the people you've lost really wanted. Varric, in Regret Superhell, didn't want vengeance. He just wanted his friend to walk a better path. And Harding always believed there was another chance for anyone, so long as you kept reaching a hand out for them--even when it sucked ass. So the redemption ending feels like a sort of indignance, an instant regret for not doing worse, for not getting comeuppance, for being forced to eschew satisfaction (related: I wonder if the Inquisitor feels those things as well coming out of this ending, considering how long they've lived under the shadow of Solas' actions). Conversely, the other two endings feel like an immediate satisfaction, because you got to trick the trickster with all the wits Varric taught you, or because you finally got to punch him in the face and it felt really good. But I feel like those endings would come with a creeping regret, something that sneaks up on you later, especially when remembering the fallen and what they would have wanted you to do. Ultimately, because of that, it feels like no ending is devoid of regret. Which I suppose, is rather thematic.
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idontwanttospoiltheparty · 1 year ago
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It is truly fascinating how the common tumblr narrative around John and Paul somehow makes the guy who literally got violent multiple times over people insinuating he was queer appear more "on board with the whole gay thing" than the guy who said some awkward/dated stuff in interviews a couple of times.
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13eyond13 · 1 year ago
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love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world
#im talking about griffith btw#guts i feel i get intuitively - maybe because i have some personality traits in common with him#and we get more about his life concretely told to us in canon. so he is a bit easier to pin down as a character and feel attached to for me#but whenever i was reading the manga i just kept wanting more insight about griffith's actions and feelings#like ok yeah its fun to have mysterious antagonists and suspense /tension etc but its also fun to feel like you deeply understand them too#and i felt like that was a bit missing from him for me in canon#so reading about him in analysis and fics is the most fun for me rn#he always felt kinda half unreal to me- which maybe was the point of him - but i wanted a bit more about his childhood or something?#and wished we had more stuff explicitly from his pov in the story to read or explanation about his transformation or wtv#and now he's so much more closed off to me even than he was in the golden age. i keep waiting for him to explain stuff and he does not#ANYWAYS all this rambling to say some people out there are very good at interpreting him and making his like. insecurities#more obvious to me bc i didnt really get that side of him from canon intuitively well#also im really enjoying reading the first few berserk fics ive read#there may not be a ton of them out there but there is def writing talent in the fandom#i'll share some recs once i'm done sifting through most of what's out there to read#also (not to tie everything back to death note but it IS my home fandom after all)#i feel griffith is obvs the more light-like character here and L maybe a bit guts-like? but unlike berserk in death note#light is the one you get to know best and L is the mysterious / unreal one you don't get a lot of concrete insight into#and in the DN fandom I can read the more mysterious character intuitively but had to warm up to the less mysterious one instead#and the mystery of L makes sense to me and doesnt bug me as much due to like - he HAS to hide a lot about himself or else he will die lol#so some similarities there but also some opposite feels as well#berserk spoilers#p
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gxlden-angels · 6 days ago
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I've had this account now for 5ish years now. I've been in therapy for years, not exclusively for religious trauma but it's a major part. I've gotten better. I have a lot of content here I could reflect on, but I don't think I want to. I like knowing I progressed. I don't like looking at what from. Usually religious trauma comes up in therapy as an "oh yea...." instead of by name now. It's indirect. Enmeshment. Parentification. Vaginismus. Scrupulous and Harm OCD. Alexithymia. Derealization and Depersonalization. Paranoia.
I'm like, a real adult now I guess. I have a bachelor's degree now. I walk this upcoming weekend. I live in a house and I'm renting out a room with my own money. It has a backyard my cat likes to run around in. I had a job interview in my chosen field today. It went well
Then I'll go back to my family for the weekend and I find out they're spiraling into AI generated christian conspiracy theory videos. Their pastor is preaching about Trump being the anti-christ, and any non-Trump or Conspiracy message is the same thing he's said for the past decade, sometimes word for word. My uncle is convinced he's a prophet. He tells a story about a girl that was paralyzed after not listening to his message. My grandfather is convinced us black people are the true Israelites and chosen people. I thought I was the only one medically neglected by my aunt who's a doctor. I was not. I show her my emotions chart app. She tells me it's good so I can recognize when I feel bad and remember Jesus's love until I'm happy again. It's not normal for your joints to pop out of place apparently. We all learned this at the same time. It's Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. That explains a lot. My grandfather fell asleep to a video about the Ethiopian bible and how other bibles were made to take out miracles by Jesus and angels again. The remote is lodged in his hand so we can't change it
Then I talk about plants and food with my dad and my grandmother. My dad jokingly complains about his mom making him garden with her all day half a century ago. I give her a little kiss on her forehead before I go. My dad sends me home with leftover peach cobbler he made. I eat it with my lunch at my job. I answer phone calls at a front desk. I paid real taxes for the first time this year. I go to therapy and I talk about everything from my sex life to my graduate school plans to my opinions about generative AI (I hate it). I'm like, a real, breathing adult that has autonomy I guess. I'm not even claimed as a dependent anymore. I built my own desk that I bought from Big Lots.
You get where I'm going with this right? I'm not cured or healed by any means. Far from it in fact. I still get a pang of anxiety using the lord's name in vain and a chill down my spine when manifesting feels too close to confessing. It's harder making a personal post about religious trauma now though. It's not necessarily that I'm cured, it's just so engrained that I've created atheistic excuses to stay stuck in my religious trauma. I can pinpoint the source of it if I think about it long enough, so I don't think about it long enough
I'm not afraid to think lustful thoughts because holding lust in your heart is a sin, it's because I feel like a creep. I'm not worried I'll be sent to hell if I make mistakes that take me further from Jesus, I just think making mistakes would make me a bad person and an asshole. These beliefs popped out of nowhere, of course. They aren't influenced by the religious trauma so deeply buried in my head that taking it out would feel like taking out the gray matter of my brain itself. I'm schrodingers's man where I'm only a human when I'm observed. It used to be a deity but then it was you. I'm observed by you and that proved I'm human just long enough to get by when I most needed it. I still have that problem, but I'm seen outside of here. I see myself more often too
I don't want this post to seem like a good-bye, because it's not. I'm just currently in a period of limbo and I feel like the next generation of religious trauma bloggers are rising. I'm too busy arguing with my therapist about why I'm a bad person in a way that doesn't just boil down to "I'm a sinner in need of redemption" in a desperately-secular way. I'm self-aware enough to know that's what I'm doing, but not progressing enough to stop yet. I think what will happen is I'll eventually get frustrated enough to give up on the secular origins of my mental distress. I think a lot of you are in a similar place. You're out long enough that it feels like it should be over. You don't live in the bible-thumping, belt-wielding, gay-bashing, hellscape you once did. You might even be no-contact. You pay taxes now in your apartment. But it's not over. It's still there. It's just harder to say it's Jesus's fault I'm like this. It feels like it's been too long to still blame the bible.
It's not. It's buried in your synapses and neurons and muscles and bones and skin and hair and teeth and it's hard to remember that after 5 years. It's not oozing out into your bloodstream and filling you with enough cortisol and adrenaline to fuel an elephant anymore. It trickles though like a leaky faucet. I think I've lost the plot at this point, but you get it
Like I said, not a goodbye despite what it seems like. I just have to remember that a leaky faucet is still a concern
#Like I said I might've lost the plot a bit but like you get it right?#I'm not on this blog as often anymore#in fact i'm not on tumblr as much anymore#but not because I don't like tumblr it's because I've been in a state of chaos the last couple months#and I try to think of why I'm reacting the way I do to things and my therapist just looks at me#and I tell him#I'm past this. I don't think about religion anymore. I joke about being smited down#And he just looks at me. It pisses me off so we stop talking about it. He doesn't push any further#I'm an adult. I make the decision to talk if I want#Like I said#not a goodbye#it's a change of substance#I think if I start up on this blog again it'll be less religious trauma and more getting back to religious trauma#if that makes sense#like i'm here to get back to the root of the issue but I wouldn't be directly thinking about religion anymore#cause it's hard to not immediately assume I'm past it already#but yea no sorry for the long and dramatic post I'm in a weird headspace man#we upped my mood stabilizers recently too so I've been in a weird state of near stability#like I can recover now from terrible things I don't feel like killing myself for the next week#just the next hour or two. maybe the day if it's truly bad#I actually believe the 'emotions are temporary' thing now. Medication is a miracle yall this is good shit#before if I felt this bad I'd be 5150'd ngl but I actually feel like I can get thru shit#I mean it takes a little while longer than the average person to get there but I do get there now#anyways#excuse my rambling#ex christian#religious trauma#long post
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ame-to-ame · 5 months ago
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RAHHH DO I HAVE THOUGHTS
#idk im a huge overthinker so i have those moments of idk if these count as romantic feelings or not#and i have a tendency to take things really seriously when im into it#in the same way of wanting to do things right and whatnot#i wish i had someone to tell me to think a little less and take it easy when i was really going through it#because i thought about it so hard and worried about it so hard that falling in love was no longer fun for me#it was so stressful to me that it was causing me physical harm lol which is so fucked up that relationship trauma can do that to you#but ig part of it was being an inexperienced queer#the queer experience felt so hard to come by in the first place that i really really wanted to do it right and for it to work out#ig in a sense we're luckier to be in an environment where it's not as bad as like. idk.#like ig it's not to the point of i would date someone just bc it's so rare to run into someone else with the same identity#uh#wait#actually.#huh#hm#well. ok maybe like the majority of. the people i got into a relationship with. was bc they shared the same identity.#and i felt like i wouldn't. be able to be understood by someone who didn't share that identity.#anyway though. anyway.#we're working on not. doing that.#but yeah i forgot my point teehee#yuri rambling#kk rambles#i just yk. keep on having to remind myself that falling in love should be fun and not scary#having a silly little crush should bring me joy and not fear#i should enjoy the feeling of being present and enjoying life and even if im doing it my way and being intense i should have fun with it
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faaun · 1 year ago
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i should have never dated an iranian person like i told myself i would never do it bc it would be too much intensity all in one place and i was RIGHT now that i've experienced it (smn who can engage in poetry in a similar way, talk in the same language, making all the cultural stuff gay and hot, etc) i feel like without those aspects things will just be missing Something like from now on . idk . let's drink black tea w saffron and then make out . i've never celebrated the solar new year or leapt over a fire the wednesday before or read romantic hafez poetry w someone who loves me romantically and now i crave it . so much
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fiona-fififi · 2 months ago
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its-all-papaya · 4 months ago
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i have three thoughts and they are:
i finally made it long enough post-publishing the nutcracker suite to do a full read-through of the fic with some authorial distance just now (have probably read every bit of it separately at some point since then in the midst of answering comments etc) and. yeah i think this is the best fic i've ever written (including dad lando) so.... crazy that it came from a fucking trick-or-treat ask on halloween and had not a prayer of being finished until like two weeks ago when i locked in and refused to lose.
i bought a picture frame at a thrift store that's too small for any of my prints. someone talk me into or out of (don't care which) printing the landoscar champagne photo from abu dhabi and framing it on my actual bedroom wall.
i'm back in my apartment after ten days with my parents and a) i'm sad i wanna go back to them and my dog and b) my hand soap here smells critically like dad lando. i don't think i will ever be able to buy this specific kind again without triggering the highs and lows of typing 100k of kid fic.
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plightofthecentipede · 2 years ago
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when i say i chose to be trans i dont mean that im following a fun trend for cool points or that i haven’t experienced genuine dysphoria. i didnt choose to feel a certain way but i chose to name the feeling, and to name it in this particular language. i chose to live this way, to be open about my feelings and unapologetically transgender, and i chose to share my feelings with you. i would probably be just as trans if i never said anything about it, because the feeling i had from the beginning would still be there, but i wouldnt be choosing it. this is valid as well, i just decided its not for me. in this life, i am living this way. “i chose to be trans” because we are our actions as much as we are our feelings.
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asmodeusamaryllis · 4 months ago
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Honestly despite being f2p player I honestly just thinking fuck the 300 primos I'm not that desperate for it actually
#Tbh I do typically do everything to get those free primos#N naturally I got the 40% on the first area#N yeah maybe it my fault for leaving everything to last min so now I'm scrambling n so everything is pissing me off#N honestly if that how it feels to play a game? Idk I rather not play actually#I'm having like rlly bad server issues despite my internet being decent? The creature gameplay being Jacky so it also pissing me off#Tbh making me feel like I'm force to play lest I loose out on rewards? Yeah idk#It making me not want to play ig? Cuz with every other region till natlan I was like rlly good at doing the#Archon AND world quest that I typically never have quests in my logs that some ppl were like wtf @ me#N there was no rewards for doing that but alas they start rewarding u for natlan n Low n behold im uninterested#Ig it also the fact of how much I despise the mechanics in this region that making me not want to explore the region naturally#Tbh even w the natlan character story I only did mualani despite getting rewards for that too#Anyways I was just thinking staying up to do 3 world quest n explore to 80% without a compass?#Yeah no I'm not torturing myself like that especially when I don't have mavuika she least make everything less painful I rather loose what?#3 or 4? Extra pulls? Yeah fuck that actually#There apart of me where I wish I hadn't left it so last min but actually playing again in the region n getting pissed again cuz of that#But I know I would have felt piss even earlier n honestly yeah no rip to my wanting to complete everything to get the rewards self but I#Rather have some fun so rip to those rewards cuz I rather wait till I get mavuika the all terrain girly
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delightfuldevin · 4 months ago
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Sometimes I wish I actually liked having long hair
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