#but anything for thoma

[vmkhoneyy]

“People are inherently terrible” no!!! Have you ever seen a child wait for their friend while they tie their shoelaces? Have you ever known someone who would bring hurt squirrels and rabbits and mice to the nearest vet just so it doesn’t suffer? Have you seen someone grieve? Have you ever read something that hit your heart like a freight train? Have you looked at the stars and felt an unexplainable joy? Have you ever baked bread? Have you shared a meal with a friend? Have you not seen it? All the love? All the good? I know it’s hard to see sometimes, I know there’s pain everywhere. But look, there’s a child helping another up after a hard fall. Look, there’s someone giving their umbrella to a stranger. Look, there’s someone admiring the spring flowers. Look, there’s good, there’s good, there’s good. Look!!!!

[versasfanficwastedump]

more Dad Things that Bruce Wayne definitely does:

makes the kids hold the flashlight when he’s working on the Batmobile and yells at them when they don’t do it right

makes lots of weird gross dad noises (groaning, hacking, etc)

snores like a fucking freight train. like seriously, there should be a noise warning on his bedroom door

snack tax in the car!!! reaches his hand back and does the little grabby thing

“when was the last time you changed your oil”

gives the worst directions

“so you’ll pull out of here and go north about three miles—“ “what the hell are you saying to me”

gets to the airport five hours before the plane takes off (it’s a private plane, it’s not leaving without him)

this is more of a mom thing, but he gasps like he’s just been stabbed when someone wakes him up

*whispering* “B…B…Bruce” “HEUEUH. What.”

Texts “Call me now.” and when the kids do, assuming something horrible has happened, he’s like “what should we eat for dinner tonight.”

on the other hand, he also forgets to tell the kids very important information

“how’s it going, B?” “not much just recovering from my wrist surgery last week” “your WHAT?!”

(that just happened to me. thanks dad)

[fanaticalthings]

just another night in gotham

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[orbch]

c!thomas: somehow this feels like third wheeling…

[d-1hater]

honestly one of the main reasons I like dc is that they can’t keep a storyline straight for shit. anything I don’t like is just *not real*. that’s different storyline babes what are you talking about???

like at this point I can consider shit like wfa and hell even well written fanfics as canon bc who knows what’s going on with those funky little people?? certainly not the dc writers

[yuinterrobangapologist]

Selina becoming Batwoman: Good AU. I like it. Cool.

But there's already a Batwoman.

So when Selina and Bruce marry: Bruce becomes Catman.

The entire Batfamily rebrands.

Dick becomes Calico. The multicolored patterns remind him of the original bright Robin colors.

Kate becomes the Lioness. Bette joins her as Lionette (a play on the word Lionet, a word for a baby lion)

Cass becomes the Black Panther. No ones sure how but she gets even more stealthy.

Tim becomes the Abyssian. (Reference to the Brown Color, like the Drake suit, and how they're supposedly the smartest breed of domestic cat)

Jason becomes the Blue Tiger. It's a cryptid, and no one's sure it ever existed, much like how no one's sure how Jason came back to life. There's some mythology to it, which I think ties in to Jason having some magic.

Damian becomes Leopard. The perfect predator, an opportunistic hunter that strikes from the shadows. (Plus they look like kitties...)

Babs becomes the Catseye. She sees everything, in an almost supernatural way, to outsiders.

Duke becomes Snow Leopard. 1. It's a Leopard, signifying his love for Robin in the first place. And the bright white is similar to his bright yellow, both a juxtaposition to the Batfam (Catfam)'s darkness. It also stands out in another way. Snow Leopards live in the icy tundra, much different than the greenery and savannas of other big cats. Similar to Duke's powers being a stark contrast.

Steph becomes the Pink Panther, but still wears Purple. She pretends she thinks its pink. Just to be silly, and annoy goons.

[a-rainbow-girl-detective]

Anyone who knows me knows that my two hyperfixations are bats (the animals) and the Bats (the superheroes), and in my opinion, more oft should the two meet in twain! Anyways, this presentation is my magnum opus and I've run out of real-life people to foist it upon, so please enjoy.

[undertheredhood]

the rest of the justice league: hey man, we get that he’s your son and all, but shouldn’t you do something about him?

bruce ‘that’s my precious baby boy’ wayne: i’m sorry, did you have to hold your son as he was dying in your arms? did you almost k*ll yourself trying to follow him to the afterlife? i don’t think so.

[4arconinoma]

it's his special day

[mqonlighting]

BATFAM… ON.. TWITTER… PRIDE EDITION

happy gaymonth you gay buffoons

< check out the ao3 cough cough wink wink tear >

[saturnisfallingdown]

these tags made me laugh

[ID: A simplistic multi-panel comic of the characters from Sanders Sides, told through screenshots of a Tumblr post.

Panel 1: Janus, dressed in a suit, sits at the prosecution desk from Selfishness vs. Selflessness. The screenshot, a post from @/crustaceousfaggot reads "Is lying ever ethically correct" Panel 2: Extremely simple renditions of Roman, Thomas, and Virgil in their courtroom attire sit on one side of a desk, while Patton, looking worried, sits on the other side. The screenshot is of Tumblr poll results, reading "Yes - 97.6% / No - 2.4%". Panel 3: Logan, sitting in a chair, squints at the scene from a distance. Panel 4: Logan sits in the back of audience seating, surrounded by chairs as well as text reading [chairs]. He speaks with a speech bubble with Tumblr tags in it, reading "#who voted no? immanuel kant isnt going to fuck you" Panel 5: Patton sits in a folding chair leaning forward to hold his head in his hands, in the pose of the Shinji chair meme.

End ID]

[succo-al-limone]

DC doodles for funzies

[bruciemilf]

Bruce knows he can’t scold his children on gala etiquette because he himself had none.

Baby Bruce was a kid who imitated an innocent baby rabbit in looks only. He’ll sit nice and quiet between his parents, watching everyone with his autistic eyes, and suddenly be like.

“Uncle Philip dwinks a lot. Daddy doesn’t wike any of you. “ He gives Carmine Falcone a Look. “Especially you. He says you give him tummy ache.”

Then he goes back to being cute and eating his dessert. Alfred chews back a laugh.

[fanaticalthings]

Most children, once they've grown up and moved out, sometimes come back to visit their parents to use their house as a sort of personal grocery store

And with Bruce being a literal billionaire whose house is always stocked with food and supplies, the batkids (that aren't living in the manor) definitely visit just for the purpose of taking shit for themselves.

---

For Dick, it's just small things, food and maybe some utensils. Bruce is barely in the kitchen so he never notices dishes go missing, and there are like 10 other children in his house so literally any one of the younger kids could've stolen food in the middle of the night, so he doesn't bat an eye at all.

Babs probably steals Bruce's hardware or his tools from the batcave. Sometimes, if she's nice, she'll leave a note.

Steph probably takes shit that no one will notice at the time but will absolutely be annoyed about when they need said thing. Stapler, soap bars, the microwave plate, etc...(Taking after Jason, she steals the hub caps off the batmobile's tires)

However, for Jason, once his relationship with Bruce is somewhat decent, of course he's gonna be petty and start stealing the more expensive shit in the manor for his apartment. Jason's microwave is broken? The next day, the cave's self-made and enhanced microwave made by Bruce for convenience is just gone.

Jason's feeling a coffee maker for his place? The one in Bruce's study disappears, too.

---

At first, Bruce thinks he's just sleep deprived, but then much bigger things start to go missing, like the whole TV and couch set in the living room. He assumes the younger kids are just playing pranks on him (sounds like something Stephanie would do) but then Bruce notices that the thief deliberately avoids stealing things from the kitchen, which is where Alfred is most of the time, and suddenly Bruce has an irritated clue on who the culprit is.

At first, he doesn't say anything, until one day he comes back, tired from a patrol, and is about to log in all the info on the computer only to realize his batchair is gone. That's when he texts Jason a blunt "If you really need things for your place, you can just ask me. I'll buy them for you." (As if Jason himself isn't loaded from his totally legal activities)

---

So now Jason's pettiness levels increase tenfold, and oh, wouldn't you look at it, his bike needs some new tires, and he knows a great place to get some more.

One night, Bruce is just blearily getting up for a late night snack, only to see Damian scamper away with a...lamp? So Bruce immediately follows him into the foyer only to see ALL of his kids (sans the ones not living in the manor), trying to haul two arm chairs out the window, and they just stop dead silent to stare at him until someone whispers a nervous "Crap"

Bruce doesn't even have any energy to fight, he just pinches his nose and is all "What is the meaning of this" in his tired dad voice. And Duke meekly responds with "we wanted more chairs at Jason's place"

And suddenly it all makes sense. Not once did Bruce wonder how the HELL Jason managed to lug a whole 60in TV and a full couch set on his own in one night. Of course, he had accomplices. Bruce just turns right around and goes right the hell back to his room to sleep. He'll deal with this in the morning.

[versasfanficwastedump]

Bruce sparring too rough, accidentally knocking his brand new Robin on their ass, and immediately going “oh my god please don’t tell Alfred i’m sorry you can hit me back harder oh my god don’t cry shh shh oh my god please don’t tell Alfred”

[puppetmaster13u]

Hear me out: Demon Batfam but Bruce gets them as babies because people won't stop trying to sacrifice their children and he is So Tired

And it is semi-early Batman Bruce too.