#but also with him so whatever

[nitpick7]

okay so i just caught up on uu finally and i have become somehow even less normal about parrot. specifically about how he is incapable of working in a team anymore. and i. i'm sure someone has pointed this out before but i can't stop talking about it so

okay his first video was mostly him on his own but he was not at all opposed to teaming. he actually actively tried to get people to work with him. he would do shit alone if he had to and still always believed he was right, but he was reasonably quick to trust people and more than willing to team if he could. not at all... whatever he is now.

second video is wifies we all know how that went

they are dating

how is parfies actually not canon i'm. they're so.

anyway, importantly, parrot can always trust wifies 100% of the time from now on. except when they break up but like we'll get there ok

okay hold on this is a long post sorry i am hiding the rest under the cut

then wifies chunkban uhoh!!! parrot tries to break wifies out alone because he's gay and stupid but when that doesn't work he immediately tries to assemble a team. it's specifically people he knows he can trust on this mission, but still. he recruits people, breaks them out of prisons, trusts them to help in the process. and it works. this is important. the team works. (a couple people don't want to join and fantst chunkbans himself, but the team works.)

then we have the brief (two 3 hour long videos) interlude where he's getting hunted down by clownpierce and i haven't actually rewatched that bit so i don't really have thoughts about it? but. there's the reverse prison bit. where his team is supposed to protect him but they just leave him there to die the moment it gets difficult. wifies is the only one who sticks by him because again, they're gay. but parrot lets himself get used as bait for this trap and the team essentially betrays him. he puts his trust in them and they break it. this is important actually.

i remember more of this bit than i thought

parrot almost kills branzy. that's probably relevant but i haven't quite figured out why yet. probably something about wifies. it's always something about wifies.

then we get proton. i love proton i think i've actually rewatched it twice?? proton is one of the last instances of parrot successfully executing a plan as part of a team. even then, it's rocky. ken almost betrays, egg is missing, they don't have enough elytra, they have to leave ken behind. proton barely works.

parrot's abnormal amounts of trust issues and paranoia lead him to Thousands (Millions? I Forgor) Of Blocks Out In The End. end civ! does not fucking work. it all falls apart and people are trying to tear it apart the whole time anyway. they put in so much effort for nothing. also they know about invis mafia now soooooo that does not help anything

mining civ or whatever?? uh???? look i was Not paying attention during that one i think i was literally dying my hair and told my irl (who was watching with me) to tell me if anything important happened while i wasn't looking.

important part is that luigi fucking died. parrot keeps caring about people and terrible things keep happening to them. aha

BUT THEN THE SEARCH FOR FARLANDS CIV AND THAT'S WHERE EVERYTHING STARTS REALLY FALLING APART

wifies not wanting to trust dean really fucks with parrot i think. because these are the two people he cares the most about and they do not seem to want to cooperate ever. wifies is actually weirdly sus for the entire video, i remember that. wifies and dean both. but parrot wants to trust dean. he really wants to. so he ignores wifies warnings until it is far too late.

dean betrays them and i think that shattered parrot's ability to fully trust anyone ever again. he leaves wifies behind and everything. he is having a certified Horrible Time.

actual farlands civ is. bad. bad for parrot. very. it gives him a reason to not trust teams anymore. like yeah he has to be the main character of divergent or something and Unite The Farmers And Warriors! but every single one of the warriors is stupid and they keep sending him out on suicide missions. parrot thinks he's better than them, that his plans are better than theirs, and he's right. this does not help any issues. he's completely right, in this situation, to be paranoid and untrusting and to go against their plans. and then they try to kill him about it so that does NOT help.

and i didn't even MENTION horace. how horace didn't even want to let parrot join because parrot keeps getting horace's builds blown up. how horace said that to his face. how that just contributed to parrot thinking that everything he touches will fall apart.

first war and doomsday uh um. yeah. district 13... doesn't go well. farlands civ also didn't go well but we've been over that. district 13 is what matters here.

the moment things start going wrong, everyone leaves him. parrot places his trust in spoke for one second and spoke doesn't deliver on his promise to find the stasis chambers and every single person leaves him for the mafia. (except wifies. wifies is always the exception.)

ok chat i have to go to bed i'll finish this in the morning (let's see if i leave this in. probably will.)

i'm back. wow i left off at such a moment.

wifies fucking dies.

the one person parrot could always trust. the one person who always had his back. the one person parrot could work with. did they have a perfect relationship? not by any means. but they trusted each other. and wifies died for him. and it's really like the second time this has happened because the chunkban was essentially the same thing, but this time parrot can't do anything about it. he can't save wifies this time.

and yeah he... sort of manages to work with wemmbu, spoke, and co. to take down the mafia. but he mostly just leaves that to them.

parrot's first season 2 episode fucking destroyed me as a person 😁

it's the culmination of everything that has ever gone wrong. all this shit has been happening to him; friends dying, teammates betraying, having to leave people behind, teams falling apart. and now every person that has supported him thus far is gone. not just gone, dead. any semblance of a support system he once had is shattered.

and parrot's never been good at... listening to people, valuing other opinions, admitting when he's wrong, caring about people (especially in a non destructive way), trusting anyone. wifies was the only thing keeping him in check. (we all know how dysfunctional their relationship is and this is the one moment i will admit that part of canon is real. i prefer to pretend parfies is good and happy fjgshbshs)

so now wifies is gone and parrot just goes. fully solo. he's on his batman arc or something he works alone he does not need anyone he can do everything on his own. he's just full paranoia and distrusting everything. that chest that detects when people enter his base was fucking insane he's so far gone at this point

and then leo. leo and co. show up and save parrot and make him join their team, they give him a room, they make him feel valued... and in standard main character fashion, parrot doesn't know how to deal with that. he doesn't know how to let people care about him, he doesn't want to because only bad things ever happen to the people he's close to.

he self destructs so bad. like yeah going behind their backs to modify the trap is pretty bad but to be fair he thinks he's doing the right thing there. he just is currently incapable of trust so he doesn't tell anyone and it makes everything go to shit, which gives him more reasons to think he can't trust anyone else to be competent... but that's not the worst of it

bat gets mad at him, justifiably, but parrot is so fucking deep in his paranoia and untrusting behavior that he just fucking. shuts them out. he doesn't even remotely realize why his actions were wrong and instead thinks that bat are in the wrong here. they try to contact him and instead he breaks his inbox and shuts the blinds on his room.

side note, the shot of just his room covered in lava is really sad but also kind of hilarious i keep thinking about it

at this point the only thing that can make parrot come back to his senses (well. that implies he ever had them.) is a miracle. and this miracle comes in the form of itz trying to kill him. because parrot CANNOT HAVE NICE THINGS??????

but unfortunately this is like the only thing that could fix him at this point. he needs to see that he cannot work alone. he keeps trying to work alone and then people (rightfully) don't let him but then he gets all "ugh it would've gone better if you weren't here" because he's stupid, but no one can disprove that idea because they never let him be alone in stuff. so itz attacking him while he's completely alone in the base is exactly what he needed.

i'm never gonna be normal about parrot trapped alone in a box he put himself in, less than 10 blocks from escaping the airlock, even fewer from dying to itz, whispering a plea for help.

he realizes he can't do this shit alone. and he doesn't have to. because jumper's spies saw his situation and called for backup, and derapchu gets him out and then all of bat shows up and now parrot knows that he needs them, but more importantly that they are always there for him.

ignore his third episode it is not real and cannot hurt me

okay his second s2 episode though?? with mr cube hunting him down??? parrot and derap's friendship means so much to me. where's that fucking quote... "if you want people to see you differently, you have to see yourself differently." it means so much to me. parrot is making connections and forming relationships again, he's trusting and helping people and it's just. so incredible.

parrot's third episode is not real and cannot hurt me.

(... although the fact that parrot is at all willing to trust jumper after everyone tried to kill him, and after she sort of betrayed him once, is crazy. the old parrot would've immediately given up on bat after that, but this time he's actually trying to prove himself to them and get back on the team.)

(also parchu friendship is so good, derapchu was so obviously not on board with killing parrot for the entire video, they mean so much to me)

so like. parrot's never been good at trust. or teams. but he's clearly making an active effort to be better now. he's still very much not perfect, but he's better.

okay yeah that is um. about all. ahahahahahhahaha yeah parrot's season 2 so far has destroyed me i'm kind of insane about it. if you made it to the end of my incomprehensible ramble i love you thank you and you are awesome

[borealing]

obsessed with this

[eydilily]

2 sore losers!

[snail-day]

You swear Geto ends up on his tummy more often than not. Draped across the bed like a lazy cat, broad back rising and falling with each breath, that beautiful inky dark hair tied half-heartedly in a low bun that’s already slipping loose. A few strands fall against his cheek, casting a shadow over those long lashes and the lazy curve of his mouth. He’s so annoyingly pretty like this - it’s tempting to attack him.

And he lets you.

One hand lazily typing on his phone, sending a message to Satoru asking when he’s going to be home. So you pounce while you have the chance. (Not like he'd stop you.)

You straddle him, smack his ass a few times, knead your fingers into the plushest parts of him as if he’s your own personal stress toy. And he just hums with every little assault. Sometimes you bite him, sink your teeth into his shoulder, just to feel the sharp intake of breath, to catch the subtle twitch of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“Getting it all out of your system?” he drawls, unbothered, sending a help gif to Satoru. A message that receives a heart react.

You slip cold hands beneath the hem of his dark shirt and he doesn’t even flinch. Just lets out another low hum, close to a purr, amused and warm. His chest is stupidly firm under your palms, radiating heat, and you swear he could flip you over and trap you beneath him without even trying.

But he doesn’t.

Because he’s patient. Always has been, out of the two of you. He knows that eventually, you’ll wear yourself out, that you’ll end up curled right where he wants you. And so he lets you play, lets you giggle and wiggle and bite until your energy runs thin, until you’re soft and sleepy against his side, cheek pressed to his bulky shoulder, body tucked beneath the weight of his arm.

Then he turns. Just his head at first, those wine-dark eyes cutting to you through thick, heavy lashes. That slow, feline smile starts to curl across his lips. He watches you for a moment, messy, warm, half-limp beneath him, still letting out the occasional spurt of giggles.

And then he drawls, voice syrup-slow and honey-soft, just enough to make your stomach flip. For your giggles to turn nervous:

“My turn.”

[egophiliac]

GET LOVED, IDIOT

GET LOVED SO HARD YOUR KIDS HOLD HANDS AND POWER-OF-LOVE YOU BACK TO LIFE

sorry guys, this is just my brain now. this is going to be the only thing I think about for the next week at least.

oh and also this

FIVE YEARS IN AND IT'S FINALLY CANON 🎉🎉🎉

WE DID IT

[technically-human]

He did eventually sign it

[sinkfood]

did you know there aren't any god-like powers of indigestion

[cardo-de-comer]

gibby sketch for this and additional doodles below

[doctorsiren]

The books reveal that Ford is actually a secret partier

(Available as a print on my Etsy Shop)

(wips under cut)

[shotmrmiller]

sex pollen trope where you're the one affected, having been exposed to some dense gas while on an op that felt like harsh sandpaper across your throat and lungs, and now you're a feverish mess on some ratty cot in a safe house and with only ghost as company, it's miserable, as the saying goes.

hair sticking to your sweaty skin, plastered onto your forehead and neck, every swallow feeling like you've got a mouthful of sand, your fluttering pulse wild and deafening in your ears, and the throbbing ache deep in your core, the blistering heat right below your navel— it'd only been uncomfortable in the beginning, the faint throbbing incredibly familiar, but the more you ignored it, the worse it got.

and now you're here, with arousal sticking your underwear to your pussy, unable to do anything about it because your lieutenant is seated in a corner that lets him have both you and the front door within his line of sight. a quick, discreet rub under your clothes is not an option.

someone put you out of your foggy misery.

"squirmin' like a worm on a 'ook isn't gonna help." his staring doesn't either, yet he does it anyway.

"got to make sure ya aren't dyin' on me." you want to snap that you don't think proof of life is on the darkened stain between your legs, the retort pressed behind clenched teeth but another thick wave of bestial need rolls over you and god, you're about to shove your hand into your underwear, propriety be damned—

"best you don't do tha'." why the fuck not? "you'll only get relief for a moment 'fore it comes back twofold." he says as if he's reading off the morning paper and not watching you fight tooth and nail to not fuck yourself against the pillow your head is on. (soap's offer to be friends with benefits is only looking better by the hour.)

you hastily decide that it'll be better than nothing. you'll just have to rub your pussy raw until this drug runs its course and you're telling him to piss off or don't, but you've had enough. you're stuck here with him anyway, no flight home until the morn and you're not about to spend it writhing around.

"if tha's wha' you want," ghost bites his gloves off, spitting them out onto the ground before curling his hands around your ankles and dragging you toward him. "i will help." your entire world narrows down to the feel of him touching your skin, his fingers searing as they hook into the waistband of your pants, and you almost kick him in the mouth trying to get them off faster.

"but 'm not fuckin' you." the bite of disappointment is quickly forgotten, his breath warm against your slick pussy, and after three quick glides of his tongue over your pearl, your orgasm crests, pulse after pulse of pleasure so potent it stung.

in less than a minute you're burning again, need thrumming through you and with the heady push and drag of his middle finger over your sensitive nerves, curling in you until he can fit two, three—

you're lost.

(ghost telling you that he's not doing anything else because if he's going to fuck you then you're going to remember it falls on ringing ears.)

[gingermintpepper]

I think, perhaps one of the funniest things to come from EPIC popularising the Odyssey is that now a ton of people think Poseidon wanted to kill Odysseus.

In the Odyssey, Poseidon has no intention of killing Odysseus. In fact, part of the whole reason Zeus lets Poseidon do whatever he wants even though he thinks Odysseus is rad and should get to kiss his wife is explicitly because Poseidon had no intentions of killing Odysseus. Poseidon wanted to pay back the suffering/inconvenience blinding Polyphemus would have caused. It's a really abstract thing tbh. How do you pay back someone permanently disabling your son? Poseidon's solution was just to amputate Odysseus from his other half; i.e. Penelope. The end game was never murder, it was always an endurance race.

(Od. Book 1: Zeus reassuring Athena that he is not, in fact, a part of Odysseus Hater-Nation. Trans. Robert Fagles)

Also, for those wondering if there's any sort of in text reason for why Poseidon wasn't around in God Games - at the time in the Odyssey when Athena petitions Zeus to let Odysseus leave Calypso's island, Poseidon was -checks notes- on vacation in Ethiopia. Yep. He left to Ethiopia for a festival and thusly was very much absent for Athena's whole "please let Ody go? Please? 🥺" request.

(Od. Book 1: While Odysseus was suffering, Poseidon went to party in the east)

I am begging y'all to read the Odyssey. It's a comedy for everyone except Odysseus and Penelope who are, in fact, suffering 24/7 365.

[setaflow]

Gay pride happens in June and gay wrath happens whenever hbomberguy drops a 3+ hour video essay about a specific topic

[sunderwight]

Shen Qingqiu gets hit by a rare wife plot.

And it actually is a rare one because Airplane didn't even write this one down! He toyed with the idea before ultimately dismissing it as being too controversial for the tastes of his readers, and adapting only a few of the same elements for a subsequent chapter of PIDW.

But apparently the System can pull inspiration even from the author's thoughts, especially when there's nothing to contradict the concept and even a few threads of it still to be found in the original, and somehow Shen Qingqiu runs afoul of this previously-unwritten plot bunny.

The core concept was a cuck scenario, of all things. One of the Luo Binghe's wives gets afflicted by a poison that can only be cured by dual cultivation, but specifically can't be cured by by dual cultivation with anyone who has mastery over demonic qi. Something something conflicting energies, something bullshit something. Peerless Cucumber would have ripped the chapter to shreds if it had actually made it to publication, not just for the insult of implying that Luo Binghe should let one of his wives sleep with someone else, but also because why would Luo Binghe -- able to use both kinds of cultivation -- somehow not be able to keep his demonic energies from influencing the situation just in this one case?

Well it turns out that in his specific case it's because sex gets him too worked up to keep things strictly separate, and the degree of control required to treat the affliction whilst dual cultivating is extensive enough that even a little slip-up would be fatal.

Of course, in the actual chapter of PIDW, this same plot device was altered and used to create a harem orgy where Luo Binghe oversaw several of his wives "treating" one another's "afflictions", but Shen Qingqiu just had to go and get a fatal of dose of the more severe version (he didn't realize the risk, because again, this version didn't even make it into the novel).

Anyway, of course this ends up with Shen Qingqiu trying to figure out another way to cheat death, while Luo Binghe goes through the five stages of grief before accepting that he's just going to have to let someone else fuck his husband. This leads to an argument because of course Shen Qingqiu's not going to cheat on Luo Binghe, and he's especially not going to force one of his martial siblings to sleep with him, come on now, and Luo Binghe trying not to cry tears of blood while bringing himself to explain that a fair few of Shen Qingqiu's sect siblings would be happy volunteers for this task.

Shen Qingqiu's just like, well of course you think that, for some bizarre reason you think everyone wants to sleep with me. Bias is what it is. Really it's flattering Binghe but obviously every other person we know is straight, that's just statistics, and everyone in the entire cultivation world knows that Qi Qingqi would sooner chew glass than have sex with a man!

Luo Binghe, weeping now: Shizun please. This is serious. I need you speak words that make sense in the order you're saying them.

They argue, they reach an impasse, the clock is ticking. So Luo Binghe reluctantly turns to the most reliable source of information (outside of himself) on Manipulating Shen Qingqiu to Do Things That Are in His Own Best Interests -- Shang Qinghua.

At first Shang Qinghua is like, well I'm flattered Junshang but I don't think I could shoulder the baggage of fucking Cucumber-bro for you. But then Luo Binghe is like no I need someone who is way hotter and more capable than you, if Shizun is going to fuck someone else at my behest they're going to be TOP TIER so that when I fuck him better afterwards he's really impressed with me. Liu Qingge, obviously.

Not Yue Qingyuan, Shang Qinghua asks? (He'd take the insult a little more personally but honestly he's just relieved that he's not being asked to navigate this social minefield.)

No, Luo Binghe says. He's not 100% sure he could beat Yue Qingyuan in a fight even to this day, which in his mind also translates to not being 100% sure he could do sex better than him either, so Yue Qingyuan is an emergency last resort. He's way more likely to cry on Shizun too and Shen Qingqiu is into that shit, it's too risky.

Alright, says Shang Qinghua, and he thinks about it, and then he comes up with the beautifully simple solution:

Luo Binghe has to fuck Liu Qingge first.

Because of course the crux of the issue is that even with permission, Shen Qingqiu doesn't want to cheat on Luo Binghe. But in the twisted annals of his mind, Luo Binghe himself is still entitled to a harem, even if Luo Binghe is also happily monogamous in this life. So if he shacks up with Liu Qingge first then Liu Qingge essentially joins Luo Binghe's harem, at which point if Shen Qingqiu sleeps with him it's not an affair, it's the gay version of those fanservice-y 3P scenes that the wives in PIDW did. Shang Qinghua translates the concept as best as he can to Luo Binghe, who -- though slightly dubious -- must accept that so far Shang Qinghua's wisdom hasn't steered him wrong with regards to his shizun's eccentricities.

Luo Binghe's mission: seduce Liu Qingge, or at least convince him to have sex, or possibly to lie and (convincingly!) tell Shen Qingqiu that they had sex. That last one is the longest shot so he's probably going to have to just fuck him (Luo Binghe still underestimates how willing his husband is to believe that just about anyone would have sex with him).

Shang Qinghua's mission: convince Shen Qingqiu that he owes his husband steamy threeway gay sex or something so that this plan he pulled out of his ass doesn't backfire and get him killed.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

"You and me, Ethan. Together we go save Rose, and then we can grind Miranda into paste!"

[inkskinned]

you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.

but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.

well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?

his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.

still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.

so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.

and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.

what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.

it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?

it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.

maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.

[gomtangii]

boyfriend!rafayel is clingy.

boyfriend!rafayel who just can't stop touching you. he just needs to constantly be in contact with you.

you're cooking? he'll come up behind you and cling onto you until you finish. you're eating? he'll have you sit on his lap for the entire meal. you're trying to watch a show? on the other side of the couch?? how dare you! he'd tug you towards him and lay in your lap, kneading your thighs lovingly.

don't get him started when you have to leave for a business trip... he'd whine, clinging on tightly the night before to wake up with you and offer to drive you there since it's "on the way," only to find out that he booked a "vacation" conveniently in the town you're supposed to be in too.

and if you had an argument? he'd still be mad. he wouldn't make you eat on his lap but instead scoot his chair uncomfortably close until your sides are touching. and no matter how mad the two of you are, he refuses to let you sleep anywhere else other than the bed. you won't fall asleep to him hugging you, no, but you might just wake up in the middle of the night to him nuzzling against the top of your head, murmuring apologies and placing feather kisses, promises of making it up to you when you both wake up.

boyfriend!rafayel is clingy, but you love that he is.