#but also is needed for my own mental wellbeing
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genuinely, being manic has completely fucked my brain up, even as iâm mostly recovered. feelings, iâm doubting, not even stuff i knew was probably fake, like actual feelings i thought very much to be true.
#loving someone but you canât be sure if that love is genuine anymore#seriously doubting if any of it was real#i need confirmation and i know thereâs a way to get it but iâm scared#of what i donât fully know#of it not actually being real?#of having been delusional and thinking it was?#i donât even know what to think anymore#idk iâm gonna get my head out of my ass at some point#but iâm also thinking about things in my life#and about whether this isnât something that should be in my life#if itâs better to just move on?#but i also need closure but to get closure i have to do what i keep procrastinating doing bc iâm scared#do you see my problem?#idk iâll sort it out#just going over everything in my life is causing me to reexamine *everything*#itâs like marie kondo but for people and habits#it sucks basically#but also is needed for my own mental wellbeing#so i need to decide what to do about this problem and actually strive to solve it because itâs not gonna get solved by itself unfortunately#i would just like to be relieved of this situation please and thank you
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Just spent like thirty minutes deleting so many dm messages, also changed my dm settings to only blogs I follow, because honestly the amount of DMs I get regularly is overwhelming and a lot of them are just gross and unwanted (this doesnât apply to people who have been very kind in my DMs and used it to check on me from time to time đ). Ask box is still open if you ever wanna send me a message (donât be a dick though), but for now DMs are just for mutuals đđđ
#mine#text post#also the amount of DMs I had from deactivated blogs was insane đ
đ
#you can still send me nice messages through my ask box#but needed to change dm settings for my own mental wellbeing
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i have to make appointments & also let my doctor know id rather continue one of the new meds she put me on bc it actually helped but ive been completely unmedicated for 2 fucking days & the thought of doing Anything makes me wanna throw up im so over being a person
#mine#i rly do not have it in me to make appointments dawg i have medical trauma can i get used to one new doctor#before im tossed around like a gd hot potato to numerous others. i literally attend my appointments w my cane#what's not clicking abt me having VERY fucking low energy in the aftermath of sm straining stress bruh#but like i dont have a choice bc i could have some of my meds stopped if i dont see certain doctors & im just here like đ« #i feel somewhat stupid like damn i rly thought finally i had a chill doctor w common sense but no i still gotta fight for my gd life#just be given say over MY OWN GODDAMN WELLBEING#'oh well this causes physical health concerns' to be completely blunt idfc anymore.#truly i fucking do not#my body is a fucking nightmare my entire system resents at this point bc we always have some lvl of bs going on w it#we've no choice but to stop fucking caring bc the numerous mental strains we're dealing w worsen them ON THEIR OWN#& also like literally fuck off bc my body wouldn't be this shit if doctors actually TOOK CARE OF ME PROPERLY#before it got this bad.#there's no fucking fixing shit now by worsening my already overwhelmed & strained body/mind by making me a gd hot potato#if im not Actively Perishing or on the immediate brink of the risk IDC#I NEED TO FUCKING BE ALLOWED TO //CHILL THE EVER LOVING FUCK OUT//#//that// SHOULD BE THE PRIORITU#ive been strained for YEARS but esp since last year to a CONSTANT degree#can i fucking get one GODDAMN foot on the ground to pick myself back up jfc#im so tired & annoyed & sick of there always being SOMETHING#i just wanna fucking chill & finish my preps to stream again & get back to pursuing what i love please#im gonna LOSE MY MIND
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kind of total bs that you cant own a gun if you have a medical card cuz brother i would most definitely get one if it didnt destroy my ability to own a gun while having it
#text#like i dont even own a gun yet it just feels like one of those silly teehee i need to be armed being trans in the south things#but also smoking is part of my mental wellbeing rn sadly cuz i have no therapist and i need to find a job#... where i will probably be drug tested whenever decides theyre hiring. cuz no one is
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FAMILY, am I right?
#well that certainly explains why they had no sympathy for me realizing i'd been groomed by someone!#venty vent#vent cw#vent#ask to tag#annnd now i need to play emotional support for them except even moreso now. fun. thanks for waking me up from the middle of a nap#to tell me that my entire life is changing again.#for the worse. in the middle of me being the most suicidal and depressed i've ever been#suicide ment cw#suicide cw#Spotify#yet again it is shown that i can't rely on other people for ANYTHING bc they'll always use me for all i'm worth and then dump me#murder murder kill attack bite gnaw bite#its fucking exhausting bc my brain is still prioritizing their wellbeing over my own and i cant just turn that shit off#technically i could go to europe with them but that's mean waiting on getting an advanced id and passport and abandoning all of my#mental health services nd prospects in america. and also being the fucking third wheel. AGAIN.#at this point i've accepted that the only family that can ever love me in a healthy way are my brothers
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EVERYONE LOOK AWAY THIS WAS WRITTEN FOR ME AND ME ONLY!!!!!
Jeonghan (SVT) | Nap fluff | 0.9k | gn!reader A/N: @hanniedream :)
This isnât what you had planned when you joined Jeonghan for his nap after lunch.
Can it even be called a nap anymore when itâs been 3 hours?
You wake up feeling like you got hit by a train and woke up in a parallel universe. Your limbs feel so heavy itâs not even worth moving them and youâre not sure what amount of water youâd need to drink to get rid of the headache. Youâre almost tempted to ask Jeonghan to bring you a painkiller, but then you stop.
If youâre in bed and just woke up, that means he must be still sleeping.
Carefully as you can with your body basically a deadweight you turn around. Sure enough, Jeonghan is still fast asleep. His chest rises and falls in a steady, slow rhythm. Just looking at him makes you feel like succumbing to sleep again. Maybe more sleep would fix everything - except that has never worked for you and you know better than to hope it would this time.
So you do the only smart thing you can - you sit up. Honestly your throat feels like youâve been gurgling sand and a bathroom break sounds great too. And then perhaps afterwards youâll feel good enough to be productive or at least awake enough that youâll put on some movie and chill. Yet before you can get up, you feel warmth over your hand. You look back to see Jeonghanâs hand covering your, his brows furrowed slightly. He looks so pitiful.Â
âIâm just going to the bathroom,â you whisper to soothe him.
He doesnât remove his hand but when you slide your hand away and get up, he doesnât stop you either.Â
Itâs only when youâre standing at the sink minutes later that you realize you forgot to take your phone with you. Now that shouldnât be a big deal, but it is.
When Jeonghan hesitantly brought up his desire for a staycation instead of planning anything for the first time off he had in months, you agreed without a single doubt that itâs the best way to enjoy each other and recharge like you both needed to. The first thing you agreed on and promised to follow was âsleep when youâre tired, for as long as youâre tiredâ, and you promised not to wake him up unless it was an emergency.
Your boyfriend promised the same without you asking him too - and honestly thatâs for the best because usually the âemergencyâ youâd be woken up to is him just waking up from a nap and needing someone to tell all about his crazy dreams. Other times he just gets lonely. Honestly you know itâs an excuse to look out for you. He knows you donât like to sleep for as long as you did today in the middle of the day.
So now that youâre standing in the kitchen without your phone, you canât help but sigh. Going back to the bedroom is risky enough, but looking for the device? Youâre bound to wake him up.Â
Still, you have no idea how long heâs going to keep sleeping and youâd rather avoid getting a notification that will wake him up anyway.Â
You creep into the bedroom quietly, pleased to note that youâve gotten better at it upon seeing Jeonghan sleeping as peacefully as when you left the room. He doesnât stir when you reach the bed either, and fortune is on your side because your phone is right there - peeking from under the corner of your pillow. Right there.
You wrap your fingers around it and at that precise moment Jeonghanâs hand shoots towards the device too. You pull back, thinking he mustâve just wanted to check the time and thought it was his own phone.Â
He did not.
Met only with the cold surface of the item, he blinks his eyes open - bloodshot and teary, clearly woken up from a deep sleep, while he aims and catches your forearm this time.
âWhere-?â he groans, falling back into the mattress again.
âI just woke up, Hannie,â you sigh, sitting down now that heâs awake, âIâll be in the next room.â
âNo,â he whines, trying and failing to open his eyes again. He whimpers again and you get the message loud and clear.Â
Lying down, you help him put his hand on your waist and return your embrace. âThere, Iâm here.âÂ
He hums quietly. His lips press against your forehead as if he wanted to kiss you, or maybe tell you something. Youâll never know. Now that youâre safely in his arms, his breathing is already even yet again.
You try to fight off the lingering exhaustion, push back the sudden heaviness to your body and your eyelids. Itâs a lost fight. Jeonghan is so warm and his arms slung over your waist and the memory of his desperate need to have you close make your heart flutter.
If this is what your body demands, then perhaps you need it.
You stop struggling against the pull of sleep.
You earned this opportunity to rest as much as you can. You donât have to do anything but recover.
And very few things are as precious and healing as waking up to Jeonghanâs beautiful eyes and smile, no matter the time or how messed up your sleeping schedule will be.
#âmaybe more sleep would fix everything - except that has never worked for you and you know better than to hope it would this time.â#why is this the realest thing ever bcs i regret 99% of the naps i've ever taken#but bUT NAPPING WITH SLEEBY HANNIE :(((((#i would risk ruining my sleeping schedule anytime anyday anywhere#âhe knows you donât like to sleep for as long as you did today in the middle of the day.â#and if i start crying so much i flood my entire apartment then what?????#sleeby hannie the fucking loml đđ i need him actually#one nap please hannie just one i'll do anything in return :(((((#for my mental wellbeing i think i should have my own emotional support sleeby hannie#eden EDEN!!!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!!!!!#but also ily wtf đ„șđ„șđ„șđ„șđ„șđ©·đ©·đ©·đ©·đ©·#this is so soft and wholesome and domestic and sweet and lovely and beautiful and everything i need to be fixed fr#bibireads#eden đ#synthetickitsune
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URGENT UPDATE ON KOSA
Guys, this is getting really scary now. According to Senator Blumenthal they "rewrote the bill' (they didn't change anything actually) and the bill now has bipartisan (both democrat and republican support) with 62 co-sponsors now and could hit the senate as early as next week.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, KOSA (the Kids Online Safety Act) Is a strait up fascist mass internet censorship and serveillance bill that if passed, will force you to upload your government ID online in order to verify your age and give not only the government to track everything you do on the internet, but also the pwer to censor and erase anything or anyone they deem a threat to their power all by using the vague wording of the bill to deem it "a danger to kids"
both of the co writers of the bill, Senator Blumenthal, and Senator marsha Blackburn have fully admitted that they will be using this bill to wipe out any anti-isreal content as well as (in Blackburn's own words) "eliminate transgender content"
This bill WILL be used to end modern activism as we know it.
anything related to Free Palestine, Free Congo, Free Sudan, Black Lives Matter, Stop Cop City, LGBTQIA Rights, will be censored and wiped off the face of the internet.
we are looking at Farenheit 451 and 1984 COMBINED. And I still see almost NO ONE talking about it since my initial post I made talking about it last year. Every single one of you need to interact with this post and spread the word. contact your reps. sign petitions (all of which will b linked at the end of this post) AND MAKE SOME GODDAM NOISE. This is the fate of the internet as well as the fate of modern activism and literally the entire internet.
Resources for learning about KOSA:
Petition and Call Script for contacting your senators and reps
Sign the open letter against KOSA
Stop KOSA Movement Linktree
#stop kosa#kids online safety act#fascism#politics#human rights#trans rights#lgbtqia#fandom#fandom culture#art#media#fanfiction#internet#internet censorship#censorship#united states#heroes of olympus#trials of apollo
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Dick Grayson is my favorite lil guy
And my favorite way of consuming content of my favorite lil guy is the core 5 titans
There is also about 5 billion pieces of media where these 5 interact and some of it sucks so here I am scrapbooking canon together with glue and scissors so I can talk about how I view Dicks relationship with the other OG titans and how different these relationships are from one another while all still being boiled down to found family love
Dick & Donna: Listen. To. Me. These two aren't besties, or fav teammates or siblings. These two are the sun and earth revolving around each other except they each think the other one is the Sun. Dick Grayson and Donna Troy are the blueprint for platonic soulmates. Dick and Donna make everyone around them believe in ancient story by plato "humans once had 4 arms and legs and 2 faces and the God Zeus split them in half for their hubris and now they are destined to roam the earth forever looking for their other half". If y'all think Dick wasn't doing well after Jason died?? Donna Troys death fundamentally changed who Dick Grayson was and how he was written in teams for years. Donna Troy and Dick Grayson absolutely have debated getting platonically married (not canon but it is in my heart) and the only reason they haven't is BC if they do, Donna will kidnap Dick and never let him within 1000 feet of Bruce Wayne and Gotham.
Dick & Roy: remember how I said Dick was fucked up post Troias death in the comics? yeah? Roy Harper is the only reason he made it out of that period of his life alive. These two are like fire and Gasoline, they're quick and angry and always inexplicably near each other. They are VICIOUS with one another in a way they almost never are with anyone else. They try so hard to ruin their relationship bc implicitly they know (unless its the new 52 which I ignore for my own mental wellbeing-hey I did say this was a scrap book of canons) they'll always be there for each other. Roy Harper never misses, Dick Grayson cannot fall and yet Dick is there to hold Roy when his hand trembles and Roy is there to catch Dick when he loses his Grip.
Dick Grayson is the first person Roy calls to get Lian
Roy Harper is the designated keep Dick Grayson alive even if he has to tie the bastard up-
Dick (and wally depending on the run) help Roy with his addiction)
these two are each others roman empires
Dick & Wally: to cut back on the pretentious seriousness of this post. Every time these two are drawn together be it 80s road trips or being the most likeable part of tom Taylors run. Wally west always reads like he's about to invite Dick to swing with him and his wife. If you see them as platonic, romantic (right person wrong time is my favourite Fanon flavour but canonically I like em besties) or somewhere in between Wally West is always Dick Graysons best friend. There is something so wholesome about the fact that Wally canonically stalks checks up on Dick Grayson as much as he does his wife and twins and Dick who is a bat, notorious for expressing their love via breaking into your house and doing your casework for you. Is getting stalked checked up on by someone who loves him without it triggering his "see obviously you're not good enough they're literally babysitting you" paranoia. its like meeting your partners love language needs but its for deeply messed up individuals. They canonically call themselves best friends, and while Dick will always love Roy he always Likes being around Wally (as well as love him but that's a given)
(sidetone are you even besties if people don't think you're dating when they meet you?)
Dick & Garth: The amount of trust, love and respect that tempest holds for Nightwing melts my damn heart (but then again everything garth does melts my damn heart, baby Garth you will always be famous) they are such an underrated pairing and I love the fact that no matter the media, whether they're rivals like in the cartoons or Garth deferring to Dick as leader to the point where he disobeys aquaman (rebirth) Bc yeah THATS how much my purple eyed perfect boy trusts wing. There is always this really sweet understanding that Garth can go to Dick for advice (he asks for Donna advice in titans and advice on his relationship with Dolphin in the comics). And him and Dicks reunion post RIC? I love them sm. Its just... There was also a period of time where Garth was the only titan with sense and tbh sometimes its refreshing to see that when the rest of them (except donna she was dead at the time we never say a bad word about donna in this household) are being fucking insane
#dick grayson#nightwing#titans#the titans are family your honor#donna troy#dick and donna#roy harper#dick and roy#wally west#aqualad#the titans is the actual best way to enjoy all of these characters#Donna is the Titans version of Fanon Alfred#its illegal to admit she has flaws#bc she doesnt#comics#dc comics#dick and roy say they hate each other and then proceed to spend the whole story#trying to die for each other#the best found family#sanctuary never happened#new 52 never happened
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Okay, I had to upload prices because previous ones doesn't really fit current Polish prices and I still struggled ;; Any reshares would be HIGHLY appreciated!
Emergency commissions cuz I cant even afford fucking meds rn, this is a disaster Explanation: I've been working in an office with highly toxic boss, and after years of destroying my health (mentally and physically) due to increasing harrassment towards me, I had to leave that job. I was constantly insulted, had to stay overhours, commit more than anyone in the team. I was insulted while being overworked and quite honestly, exhausted and pushed to mental breakdown. Finally, I opened my eyes after 6 months of sick leave and my health destroyed. Sadly, what I didn't know, is that Poland is now in a crisis of searching for new positions. I was an accountant, a good one, and now I can't find job anywhere, whilst having bills and a pet bunny to care about. Its a disaster I didn't anticipate, but I had to leave for my own wellbeing. Right now commissions are my only source of income, and probably that will be for a longer while - thats why there is no slot limit! Thank to everyone who trusted me with my commissions, it helps ALOT ;v;
BG3 special, prices are much lower for yall folks cuz I love ya uwu Informations: 1. I've passed the game with 100% Achievements and over 270h, you don't need to worry about spoilers ^^ 2. Any companion can do - this includes even Orin and Gortash! 3. All races are fine! ^^ 4. I do basic backgrounds, more detailed ones (such as drawing ur characters in tavern) may require additional payment (not much tho) 5. On painting, I can also draw character in any outfit you'd like 6. You can propose a pose 7. Everything is a reference for me - you can both give me screenshots of your tav, or drawings ^^ If Your Tav is a tiefling, I'd also love to see both side-profiles for horns reference!
#baldur's gate 3#art#bg3#baldurs gate tav#commission#tav#bg3 fanart#bg3 tav#aesthetic#anime and manga#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#bg3 gale#gale x tav#astarion x tav#astarion#baldurs gate 3
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My dear lgbt+ kids,Â
I believe that one of the best things you can do for your mental wellbeing is to just give yourself things to look forward to.Â
Your mind may go to expensive purchases or life changing experiences now, these bucket list items like âa month long international vacationâ or âgetting my own carâ (or even something like âbuying a whole new wardrobe and re-inventing myself after I come outâ or âmaking queer friends once I graduated and moved out and cut my parents out of my lifeâ) - but thatâs not what I am talking about right now. In fact, for our purposes here itâs better if itâs not something like that!Â
Big goals and long-term dreams are cool! Donât give up on them! But if our only sources of that giddy âI canât wait to do that!â energy are things that may only happen in a few years (or âwhen I get richâ or âonce Iâm healedâ or âwhen I get braverâ or maybe even never), well, thatâs a good recipe for feeling unfulfilled and like our current life is empty and boring compared to that shiny fantasy. Youâll miss out on a lot of joy when you save up all your feelings of excitement for the âlaterâ.Â
So, this isnât about big bucket list stuff and it also isnât about any classic self-improvement techniques. If you look forward to exercise or meditation, all the more power to you (because obviously youâll reap the mental health benefits of those things plus those giddy feelings)⊠but first and foremost this is about joy.Â
This is about seeing the magic in the ordinary things, in the here and now (and yes, that sounds pretty lame. Sometimes you gotta be lame to be happy!).Â
Itâs also about feeling in control of your life. In order to look forward to something, you need to intentionally pick something to do. And thatâll feel so much better than just passively letting life happen to you or waiting for your âreal lifeâ to start or letting some algorithm choose which content to consume until itâs time for bed. Itâs about not postponing joy until life gets better but making life better by making it more joyful!
So, how do you teach yourself to look forward to things and which things work best?
You need to set a (small, pleasant, easily achievable) goal and follow through on it.
It can be a small, special treat or reward, like âOn Monday Iâll buy a candy bar after workâ or âIâll make a cup of my favorite tea tomorrow morningâ. It can also just be being mindful of the things you do anyway: if you always listen to music while on the train, donât just hit shuffle once you sit down and instead deliberately choose a specific album you want to listen to before you board the train.Â
The trick is just to intentionally pick something fun to do and then let yourself feel pumped about doing it and then follow through with actually doing it. It doesnât even need to be anything new or different than usual! If you always make pasta for dinner because thatâs your favorite dish, then just deliberately spend some extra thought during the day on how freaking awesome it is that you get to eat your favorite dish again tonight!Â
When youâre new to this, itâs best to pick something thatâs in the near future, like later that day or the day after. You get time to build up excitement but you also get to follow through pretty quickly. So your brain gets to make the connection that happily looking forward to something is âworth itâ!Â
This can feel a bit ridiculous and fake at first, especially if youâre usually not an overly cheerful person. Itâs okay if it feels a bit silly to be joyful about the prospect of eating pasta. Good news is, this is something where you can absolutely âfake it til you make itâ. You may have to consciously remind yourself to be excited about it at first (itâs okay to use little helpers, like notifications on your phone or a good old sticky note somewhere youâll see it!) - but even when itâs fake at first, your brain will forge those pathways and over time âhappily looking forward to thingsâ will become a natural habit thatâll add a bit of sparkle to the ordinary!Â
And especially for those âwaiting until I can be myselfâ cases: Yeah, finding magic in the ordinary will not âfixâ living with homophobic parents or gender dysphoria. But itâll give you some moments of light while you wait for things to get better. And you deserve that. Lighting some candles while waiting in the dark will always beat just sitting in the dark.
With all my love,Â
Your Tumblr DadÂ
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hi sis can you write me a sanji fic pleaseeeeeee
One hurt/comfort Sanji fic here for you, Smol-Snail.
Limits
Masterlist Here
Word Count: 2,500+
Synopsis: Baratie has been overbooked, and the tension in the kitchen has been overwhelming. Being a hard-working kitchen hand, you have been covering far too many shifts. Sensing the overwhelm, your coworker attempts to aid you through your emotions.
Themes: Sanji x gn!reader, hurt/comfort, kitchen slang, eating food, minor swearing, fluff, angst, domesticity, hidden feelings, almost kisses, playful banter, nicknames.
Notes: Spoiling my sister usually includes Mihawk or Garp, but I am absolutely loving the change. Thanks for the ask, sis! Hope you like it. Also, gosh it's good to be back in Baratie again.
The crackle of water hitting a pan of hot oil popped and simmered, a string of curses and yells following the large rukkus. Voices overlapping, music blaring, orders expediting, and the clangs of silverware shuddering with ceramics in water continued to mute their tones in the air surrounding the lively kitchen of Baratie.
It had been a mean shift tonight. The restaurant was overbooked, over packed, and overwhelmed. Guests on the waiting list were made to wait longer than they had anticipated, adding to tempers flaring and temperaments turning foul on all sides. The front of house were begging with the back of house, the back of house pleading with the front of house. Chef Zeff had even jumped on the line, cooking alongside the lot of you to fight against the rush. The thump of his peg leg hitting the linoleum swelled within the serenade of the lively kitchen, the chorus finally rising without any indication of an interlude.
âCarne, 'hot behind', damn it!â Zeff growled angrily while standing to full stature. Carne was holding a tray of simmering desserts at chest height behind him while shifting from one surface to the other. âCommunicate, kitchen. Yaâ hear?â
âOui chef!â The kitchen all repeated the phrase like a prayer on their tongues to their hierarchical clergyman.
âCa Marche-!â
âSharps-!â
âPlate up-!â
âPush-!â
âTo the pass-!â
âThrough-!â
Sanji stalked through the rows up until the pass, pacing two and fro while jumping in to aid all those that needed support. Garnishing mains, whipping cream for desserts, assorting steel bowls of oils and accompaniments to coincide with breads and greens: Sanji did it all. Each time he stepped in to aid in the dance of the kitchen, his eyes fell to your frame to mentally check in.
Eyes down, shoulders hunched, rubber gloves thrust up to your elbows, you ensured the kitchen remained functional with the fluctuation of crockery, cutlery and dishes for truly impeccable service. The kitchen-hand, or 'Dish Pig', was the backbone to a functional restaurant, the mental wellbeing of the house truly on the shoulders of that individual.
How could a chef create masterpieces without a canvas? How could guests in the dining hall consume their delectable arrangements without the means to raise each bite to their lips? The kitchen-hand ensured all was possible, and the chefs barely paid you any heed while you slaved away to grant them relief in their supplies.
You attempted to hone in on your craft, using your fingernails beneath the rubber gloves to chip at caramelized and caked scorches on iron pots like a scourer. Breaths heavy and labored, you shifted everything from your focus asside from one thing and one thing only:
Keep the kitchen clean.
Bubbles and suds consumed your senses, your hair sticking to your forehead in heavy clumps of sweat and soap. Your nostrils flared with the burn of eucalyptus, lemon and menthol. Working a fortnight of splits and doubles to cover for your colleagues had finally taken its toll on you, and stressors in your personal life added to the tension in your bones. The loss on your own mentality began to slip into a panic as another wave of silverware made their way to your arm side.
The mention of, ââEre yeâ go, dish pig. Clean up,â barely phased you, regardless to the usual playful temperament you displayed. You didn't even crack the smile you usually had on your face, your permanent exhaustion falling in the emotionless and dead-stare you displayed down at the dish rack.
The kitchen has began to pack down. Each element was extinguished, and stock was taken alongside a final tally. The chefs had removed their aprons, cravats and hats and began making their way towards the bar for their knockoffs. Your own drink would have to wait, the pile never reducing no matter how hard you had worked.
For each plate you cleared and cleaned, four more would somehow find their way to your hands. Each pot would have a lid to match, each pan would have an array of spatula, tongs, and forks to pair with. The chefs used the tools of their artistry with reckless abandon, and it was now you who was paying the price for their carelessness.
âA'ight, beers? That what we're drinkin'?â Patty clapped his hands and rubbed them enthusiastically together. Carne barked out a long string of laughter, allowing himself to succumb to the relief that came from a grueling shift while he clapped his hand over Pattyâs bicep.
âI'm keen on one of them steins we just got in,â he admitted, squeezing lightly before looking to Zeff, âIs that on the menu for knock offs, chef?â
âOnly is if you save two for me, you prick,â Zeff stated affectionately, âGive us a pale or an amber, I'll be in my office takinâ a damn breath. What about you, little eggplant? What are you drinkinâ tonight?â
Sanji hadn't spoken a word since he hung up his apron. He had been keeping an eye on you throughout your shift, feeling the tension waft in your aura the longer you silently chipped away at your monotonous task.
âI'm gonna have a cigarette,â he nodded to the head chef without moving his eyes away from you. âThen I think I'll sample that new amaretto rum you got in.â Sanji moved to Zeffâs side, casually glancing back at you while lowering his tone to the head chef, âBut first, I'm gonna stay here a while. Leave inventory to me, and I'll take care of it, old man.â
Zeff noticed the drop in Sanjiâs usual cadence and finally took notice to the quiver in your shoulders. With a curt nod, Zeff turned to both Patty and Carne and spoke to them with a simple scowl that meant: âGet out of the kitchen, nowâ. The two chefs quickly looked between Zeff and Sanji, then to the source of the noise continuing to fall from the underappreciated corner of the kitchen. With a nod of their own, they silently excused themselves from the kitchen with Zeff trailing behind them.
Where Sanji would've placed an unlit cigarette between his teeth and stalked out behind them, he would never do that without you. Both of you were similar in ages, and the rapport and camaraderie had always been a highlight to his kitchen shifts. The two of you were more than coworkers, more than simple friends, and you both lived and breathed Baratie in your own ways. You both loved that place, thrived on the chaotic energy working the line, and adored spending time in the dark before the next shift would begin.
The only difference between you is Sanji had been working his usual shifts, and you had been overworked far beyond your natural capacity lately. You were running low on mental energy, and you were taking it out on the dishes you were cleaning.
Wiping, scrubbing, clawing, patting, drying, prying, stacking, and placing away in their delegated areas: you had not spoken a word for the whole shift. Nothing more than a soft, shaky breath expelling from an otherwise vacant expression, nobody would know if anything was occurring within the battle of your mind.
But Sanji did.
Unhooking his apron and rolling up the sleeves of his uniform jacket, he placed it over his neck and slowly moved over to work silently in an unoccupied station. Several containers of various raw ingredients were hastily removed from their spots. Pots, water, flours, sugars, utensils and plates were all set up by his skilled hands: making something of your youth that he knew would bring you comfort.
Rolling glutinous rice flour into small balls with regular flour and water, he stuffed them full of purple adzuki mix, hazelnut white chocolate, and yuzu-honey dew custard. Placing the small balls in a steamer, he set a mental timer to check on them after a few minutes. Not his usual method to make dango, but he wanted to experiment for you.
He knew better than to disturb you when you were like this, and he allowed you to work out whatever was brewing in your mind on the dishes you were cleaning. He looked to the bowls and dishes he had just made in crafting you something delectable and grimaced.
âAll of those dishes just to make a simple dessert,â he mentally scolded himself, âAnd that's just one piece of the kitchen. You're taking care of everyoneâs dishes here, not just the kitchenâs.â He gently lifted the lid of the bamboo steamer to gauge the consistency of the circular treats, nodding to himself once he viewed the squishy exterior.
Plating up the dish by patting them dry and rolling them in rice flour, he softly approached you with the bowl of rainbow-colored treats.
You were in your own head, your thoughts swirling in a tight coil threatening to snap. This shift had been enough to break a seasoned kitchen hand, and you had endured it all with a silent professionalism. Just when you were about to begin the next wave of remaining dishes, you turned and met your eyes with a plate of rainbow and sunshine.
âHands, chef. You need to eat something,â Sanji softly spoke, his usual smirk and cocky attitude fleeing his face. The replacement of his usual demeanor was something you hadn't experienced with him. His eyes were rounded, his lips softly pouring, his head was lowered and seeking out your gaze with his own, and his empathy was worn with each subtlety.
All in one fluid motion, your head hung low and your glove-covered hands shrouded your eyes from his gaze. At the same motion, Sanji placed the bowl down beside you and hastily drew you into an encumbering embrace. It had finally been too much for you, and this was the first breakdown you had ever had regarding a shift. Heavy sobs were muffled by your rubber-covered palms while Sanji cradled you in his arms.
âHold onto me, love,â Sanji softly whispered into your ear. You immediately unburied your face within your palms and nuzzled into the blonde manâs neck, arms wrapping beneath his shoulders and clinging to him like a rope offered from a cliffâs edge. âThere you go. Good job. Just hold on, okay?â
âS-Sanji?â you attempted to whimper out, only being met with a soft shush and a tighter hold on your form. He rose one arm up to remove your dark chefâs cap from your head and carded his hands over your scalp in a soft brush.
âYou've been pushing too many doubles, and saying âyesâ a whole lot lately,â he gently soothed you, âAnd while I love this place as much as you and the old man, I know my limits.â He gently lifted his head to gaze down to where your head was nestled in his collar, âYou just hit yours, didn't you?â
âFirst time since I started,â you whispered into his shirt, âI didn't think I had one âtil now, Ji.â Your admission alongside his arms holding you firmly dried up your tears after the heavy release.
âCourse you do. We all do,â his soft baritone gently coaxed you. You slowly raised your eyes to meet his. His smile was like sunshine after a storm, warmth following a heavy winter, hope where hopelessness was found mere minutes prior, and a sanctuary found after a season of war.
When he looked at you, you felt like the most important person in the world. Time stood still in that moment, eyes darting between one another's and gently focussing briefly on the otherâs lips. The close proximity you found yourself in was not unfamiliar to you, but this emotion swelling was far greater than you had anticipated. Sanji made to lean towards you, halting mid-way and second guessing himself from giving you the kiss he truly wanted. Instead, he pressed his forehead to yours in a gentle seal of friendship.
Noses flush with one anotherâs, you both closed your eyes and dwelled in the silence for a moment. Nothing else was heard: no yells in the kitchen, no music from the dining room, no yells from your coworkers, and no demands from the patrons in the hall. All that was heard was the small thump of your heartbeat in your ears, and your shared breaths gently soothing one another in unison.
âI made you dango,â Sanji uttered softly, making no move to part from you.
âThank you, Ji,â you expressed your gratitude just as softly.
âAnd while you eat, I'll finish up on the dishes,â he scrunched his nose playfully, moving away from your head and slowly releasing you from his embrace, âThen we can go and have a knock off. I'll have one of the bar staff take your shift tomorrow- And before you interrupt-!â
Sanji knew you all too well, halting your interjection before you had an opportunity to speak it out with a harsh expression.
â-I know it's a 'double split'. That's a four person job, and I know exactly the four people to do it,â he finally withdrew his arms from your shoulders and soothed your upper arms with a firm caress. âNow, hand over those gloves. I made a right mess cooking you your sweets, and I'm going to see to it that it's spotless while you eat.â
You slowly removed your arms from his body, halting them briefly on his hips while you bowed your head in gratitude.
âOui, chef,â you huffed out in a bid to add humor to the scenario. Releasing him from your grasp, you began to remove your rubber gloves and hang them over the steel railing beside the sink.
Sanji slid his hands from your shoulders, his right hand moving to gently tap your chin up with his index finger. Following his motions, you met your eyes with his once more, offering him a small smile after the exhaustion of emotional release.
ââOui Chefâ?â he gently teased you, his eyes playfully narrowing in his jest, âHush, you. Now go eat your dango and tell me what you like about it. We got sweet red bean, white chocolate hazelnut, and citrus-melon mouse in the centers.â
Your eyes bloomed with a wave of gratitude, Sanjiâs understanding washing from his aura and consuming you within his single glance. The only thing to break your joint hypnosis with the scent of the sweetness atop the bench, you bobbed your head a final time to your coworker and dearest friend.
You moved to sit by the sink on a wooden stool, plonking down and resting your worn feet with the plate sat in your lap. Head slumping on the steel bench, you close your eyes and raise one of the squishy spheres to your lips.
Placing the entire blob into your mouth, the center burst on impact of the clamp of your teeth. The flavors erupted over your palate, your emotions once again being forced to the surface at his thoughtfulness. Each tartness was compensated by the sweetness it needed, the sours holding a balance of soft umami to prolong the dance over your tongue.
Watching from the corner of his eye while elbows deep in the sink, Sanji smiled at the encounter, truly pleased that he could offer you that sense of comfort after a grueling few weeks. Each bite you took of his mastery had his heart swell. Knowing he could do this for you, take a piece of that burden away from you and give you some joy to focus on: that was all he ever craved in return from you.
Tag list: @mfreedomstuff @daydreamer-in-training @since-im-already-here @gingernut1314 @writingmysanity @i-am-vita @indydonuts @feral-artistry @the-light-of-star @empirenowmp3 @racfoam @sunflowersatori @carrotsunshine @skullfacedlady @jintaka-hane @thenotsofantasticlifestory
#one piece#x reader#ask snail#snail answers#one piece live action#opla#opla fic#sanji#sanji x reader#black leg sanji#black leg sanji x reader#x gn!reader#one piece x reader#baratie fic
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PAC/ Major blessings of the new year âšïž
Hi my loves! Welcome back to another pick a card, this time focused into the new year and what will be the major blessings this new year has in store for you. As always, take a deep breath and take a moment to choose your pile, I suggest you to pick the one that makes you smile the most.
I wish you the best year possible, may peace, happiness and love be always by your side every day of this new year â€ïž
Decks: Woodland wardens oracle, Raider Waite tarot and astrodices
For private readings click here / 2024 readings are open
My blog in Spanish here
All pics are from pinterest, credits to their owners
Pile 1/ pile 2/ pile 3
Pile 4/ pile 5/ pile 6
Pile 1:
This new year will be your year of preparation, there's something huge coming into your life at some point but first you need to learn some new skills to get and keep the success you are looking for. Universe is giving you extra time to prepare what you really want to achieve, it's like a period for trying new things and tests what works best for you, especially in matters of career and money because you'll be very lucky in these areas. If you are thinking into opening your own bussiness and be an enterpreneour, this year will be a lucky year for you but the cards wants you to focus on burocracy and legal matters too, you'll have it easy but there are some things you'll need to learn before, like paying taxes on time or investing money wisely
Your areas of luck will be about starting projects and trying new things it's all about taking the lead without fearing risk, whenever you follow your inner compass you'll find yourself attracting more abundance than what you expected. You'll also be very lucky when it comes to gain wealth and what will play the most at your favor is your knowledge about burocracy or legal matters, not only for this year but the years ahead where you'll be managing big amounts of money.
This year will be filled by happiness and meaningful changes, sometimes change can be overwhelming but for you this feels like something you've been waiting for a long time, a desired transformation of your reality. You are the group that got more major arcana, so this 2024 will be an end of a cycle where your life will take a 180-degree turn, there's also this energy of getting out of your head so much and starting focusing on your present moment. With the empress and the magician cards, I see you'll feel a lot more grounded and, for what I'm feeling, this will help you attract money easilly, you'll be a literal money magnet this new year. These two cards are also indicators of a good year of prosperity with work and money, the empress also indicates a huge physical glow up and a boost in your confidence, you'll feel super empowered during the new year ahead :)
Pile 2:
This new year brings you balance and stability, you'll feel a lot more supported and certain about the path you are taking in life, things will feel more peaceful for you this new year. If you deal with anxiety or something of that sort that involves your mental health, I see a big relief over 2024, you'll be making a lot of progress in this area. The major word I channel is balance, on your outside circumstances but mostly when it comes to yourself and your inner wellbeing, I feel my heart rushing and a knot in my stomach that are slowling relieving, this year might also involve some kind of spiritual or emotional healing too. If you have difficulties dealing with stressful situations this year will also bring you clarity to discern what's best for you and where to invest your precious energy.
You'll be lucky when it comes to find new ways to develop your passion or how you share it with the world, you'll be very lucky if you use some kind of social media or technologies to promote it too, especially if you are an artist. Your intuition will be improving too, if you follow it you'll find sucess at the end of the road, your guides will also be taking relevance in your life. Btw, blue will be your lucky color during the year
This new year will end up some conflicts you were dealing with, the feeling that you needed to constantly fight will dissipate in a very natural way, it will happen progressively in a time where you'll feel like you can finally sit and relax, you might feel extra tired sometimes but it will be because your nervous system will get out of survival mode. You end up a karmic cycle of your life that will allow you to focus on your finances and being productive at work because you got the ace and the 8 of pentacles right after the card of the world, so working and seeing progress will be a major theme of your year ahead, if you are into handcraft of some sort you can get extra income with it. You'll be also getting out of your comfort zone more often to find beautiful things outside of what's known to you, this will be a year of adventures that you'll live with peace in your heart.
Pile 3:
There's an improvement on your energy levels and your home life, you'll feel a lot more healthy and vital during the new year, I don't usually talk about health in any of my readings but your pile deserves it because your body is regenerating positively somehow, whatever you are doing to take care of it just know it's working and will give you proofs of it this new year. There's also a major message about your home life and how it will be taking a more important role in your life, maybe it's something as simple as to be able to decorate it the way you like or it's something more relevant like making a renovation of pipes or fixing leaks, whatever it is, it's something you've been wishing for a long time, It could also be that you'll finally be moving to the house of your dreams.
Your lucky areas talk about health again with virgo in the dices, I see trying to have healthier habits will help you in this aspect of your wellbeing, maybe create a healthier routine or something that sort (it will be different for each of you reading this), always do what's most aligned with yourself. You also got pluto and the third house so this year will be good for you to transform yourself, maybe stepping out of what's known for you and try new practices, it could also be that you are re-learning some things after an important spiritual awakening. For a little amount of you this could mean taking a different approach when it comes to your physical health and needs.
Uhhh things got interesting with your tarot cards! There's a lot of love entering your life my dear :), you got so many beautiful cards that I had to take a minute to channel and summarize all the info. After a period of healing and purification all your dreams will start to come true, the healing process might seem too intense because you'll be getting a lot of channelings in a short period of time but suddently everything will start happening for you, it will happen in the most unexpected way at the mostt unexpected time, you won't see all the happiness coming, even if you receive signs you won't be paying that much attention. You got the star, 10 of cups, ace of cups and the empress, if this is not an omen of your true love entering your life I don't know what it is lol, maybe the message about the home means that you finally meet the person you are going to create a home with because you got the king and knight of pentacles at the bottom of the deck so this person is arriving with commitment, peace and stability. Congratulations my dear, you'll be discovering love in many different aspects of your life during this new year.
Pile 4:
Your major blessing is some kind of dharma, it's something that will make you gain hope in Universe's protection over you, this will come through other people that will communicate things to you that will feel like an eureka moment where everything starts to make sense. Honestly, this feels like making amends with the past, do you know when you see the bully of your high school after 10 years and all the rage dissapears because that person is having a nightmare of a life?, it's not about being happy about other people's suffering, it is more the feeling of there's someone up there watching everything we do and no one leaves without paying their karma.
Your area of luck is about the people that will enter your life, I see you reuniting with your soul tribe this year and finding lovely people that will treat you with the love, respect and admiration you deserve. If you are someone that has dealt with the worst aspect of human nature, this year will be a proof from Universe of all the good traits humans have, it's like Universe wants to compensate you for the battles you have gone through in the past, you'll find your place and your people in this world.
With the tarot cards I'm seeing that you'll be meeting the most lighthearted and positive aspect of life, there's happiness, support and love entering your life to stay. You'll be moving on from a lot of mental patterns that were holding you back, it's like you have learnt the theory and you are finally dealing with the practice that you thought it would be supper difficult and challenging and will ressult into being the most easy and peacefull process ever, like you don't even have to make any effort because everything will be moving at your same pace, like Universe is adapting to you. Between all the new positive people entering your life, there are a lot of chances to find a romantic soulmate there, because of the cards you got I see an unblock in your heart chakra that will unblock your love life too, especially for those that have been single for a while. At the bottom of the deck you got the 6 of swords and the wheel of fortune so this new year will be a shift in your luck to the positive aspects of life, you'll also be feeling more hopeful and optimistic.
Pile 5
Your pile is the only one that has one extra oracle card and it's because that card wanted to fly and land on the opposite side of the room, not to give you spoilers but it was the card of romance. This new year will bring you a lot of different blessings, I see 3 major ones at least, romace is very prominent through all your spread so this year you will meet your true love and will start your life together as a couple. Another blessing I see here is some sort of independence (it will be different for each of you so take only what resonates), it can be moving alone to a new place, working by yourself or releasing emotional attachments, whatever independence means to you is what you'll be getting this new year. I also see admiration from people when they look up to you, you'll be receiving adoration from others, like getting a fan club or something like that, it feels like people being devoted to you, so you might get viral or achieve some level of fame throught the new year
Your lucky areas will be taking care of yourself and your beauty on the inside and the outside, if you've been thinking about changing your style, this year will be very favorable for you in this aspect, also for beauty treatments or anything related to your image and appearance. Another lucky area will be your drive and inner power, you can rely on this aspects whenever you need a boost of confidence, remind yourself your talents and keep moving, you are your most powerful lucky charm <3
Ohhh Divine counterparts energy here in your tarot cards, the hierophant and the high priestess and the king and queen of cups, so you'll be finding a person so in tune with you that it gives me goosebumps all over my spine, you'll understand what a twin flame connection is after this person enters your life, btw, it's someone completely new, no one from the past. Your overall message about this new year is success and moving on from what no longer serves you, this new year you'll be aligning with your happiest and most successful version and honestly, I feel like you won't have to do that much because Universe is pampering you during the whole year
Pile 6
Your oracle card's literal is happiness, so honey, happy days are here again for you, I see even see you crying of joy a few times during the year. You are my spiritual pile and my dear, this year you'll be having magical moments with your spirituality, you'll see miracles happening in front of you, I'm literally hearing 'a glitch in the matrix' so you'll be seeing and undestanding Universe in such a deeper level. You'll be nourishing your soul during this new year, you'll be more in tune with your inner child and you'll be focused into what's best for you and your happiness, life will also be very gentle with you.
Your lucky areas have something to do with your soul mission, especially if you are the kind of person that loves helping others and would like to dedicate your life into a major service for people. It's something related to healing, it can be your own or this might be more related of a soul mission that involves helping others, whatever it be, you'll be receiving rewards because of this so don'tdoubt to help those who need it. Another lucky area will be the people that will enter your life, you'll have an amazing support system in the people you will know this year.
You'll be knowing a soul mate this year! You got 2 and 10 of cups and a lot of major arcana, so I see a major connection with a romantic soulmate but also there are a lot of soul mates that will enter your life to align you with your soul mission, every person will come with a lot of knowledge that will make you feel fullfiled on a soul level. There's also a shift in your luck but it will be mostly driven by your own mentality, you'll feel stronger and more confident in whatever your passions are, you'll be also having some sort of realization about what you want to do with your life and will plan how to make it true, Universe will be favoring you in this aspect.
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Hi guys~! â
đ
Long time no see! Much longer than I ever intended, in fact. Truth be told, I wanted to make a public post sooner, but I've had a lot to catch up on in terms of notifications and messages since logging back in a few days ago. I've also made some changes that I will address shortly, but first of all I wanted to thank those of you who have reached out with so much care and understanding during my absence. Adjusting has been a slow and fragile process for me -still is-, and I sadly haven't responded directly to everyone yet because of it, but I wanted to say how much I appreciate your patience and support nonetheless. đ„č đ
Long story short, I was gone for five months due to a huge burnout, then progressively found my spark again somewhere along the way and have since mostly recovered. It was my wonderful friend @drones-of-innocence who reached out to me outside of Tumblr, and her sense of initiative is largely the reason why I managed to make this post in a somewhat reasonable delay. đ
đ With that said however, I must also mention that I've deleted a lot of stuff from my page and have removed most of my work from the public eye as well. This may seem quite drastic and frankly a little unsettling, but I assure you that it was a thoroughly considered and reasoned decision! The thing is that I was still getting lots of notes on these drawings everyday and⊠To put it simply, I didn't want that anymore. đââïž Experiencing popularity was very detrimental to me in the long run and I needed to put an end to it for the sake of my own wellbeing; at least for now.
Which brings me to my next point.
After mulling it over for a while, I've decided that I would not be returning as an active creator in the Mario community this time around. đ Making fanart for this franchise (with such a high and continuously maintained degree of involvement) had a lot to do with my health's decline and I've come to realize that I wanted to direct my focus elsewhere going forward. For that reason, there are things which I know will never be repeated again in the future, both in regards to my art and online presence in general, but that's alright. Things change, as they do and should. I'm looking forward to reuniting with folks and would be very happy to stay in touch with those of you who wish to message me privately. Like my lovely pal @istadris said, what matters most about any fandom are the friends you make in it. âșïž
And speaking of which-
@ody-and-fanatu That's so sweet of you, thank you! đ I'm glad you've enjoyed my contribution to the fandom. It was fun while it lasted! đ« My visual ideas may be gone from my page, but most of my written posts and replies are still there for anyone who wants to revisit those at least, so there's that! And I'd also like to answer some of the asks I still have in my inbox at some point. Knowing that you hold my art in such high regard makes really happy! đ„° Unfortunately, the other account that I have is reserved for my professional work and I prefer to keep them separate from one other, but the good thing is that I intend to go back to this blog occasionally. Hoping to see you around! Cheers! đ„
@heiressofdoodles Thanks, I appreciate that! âš I'm honestly doing much better than I was earlier this Spring. Back then, I was running on empty and on the verge of crashing without even knowing it. Being in constant physical pain was one thing, but feeling mentally and emotionally drained on a daily basis was another entirely, and something had to be done. It took me a moment to really figure out what was wrong, but thankfully I realized very quickly what was causing it and applied the breaks with all my might. One of my main priorities now is to be more alert and respect my own boundaries to make sure that this never happens again. đ„Č
@keakruiser Thank you. ïżœïżœđ I'm just glad to have found my footing again. Feels good to be able to create freely.^^ Hope you're doing well too!
Special thanks also to @pianokantzart, @jelly-fish-wishes, @katlyntheartist, @triniji and @wahooitsamee for their kind words. đ« Your graciousness and consideration means a lot to me. đ
As for all the nice people who sent me anon comments and well wishes, I tried to summarize my thoughts as best I could in this update, but if there's anything else you'd like to say or know, don't hesitate to ask me anytime! Now that I feel like myself again, I think I'm gonna hang out on Tumblr for a little bit. I'll be excited to see what you guys have been up to in the meantime! đ€ Wishing you all a very good day and pleasant Fall. đ
-elita đž
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hey guys im sorry to e-beg so much but i unfortunately have had no money for awhile and i can't go any longer without asking for financial help bc i have payments due and i need basic necessities that i haven't been able to buy in a while.
i was working two jobs, now have neither bc of health complications (physical and mental) as well as the second job just becoming money for transport to the first job bc i can't drive. i was walking to the second job but the first was only accessible by car. on top of this, i was experiencing mental strain while working the second job, as it was across from a building i'd previously had to leave for my own wellbeing because i was being harassed by one manager and assaulted extensively by another. the second job also had an hour walk commute each way on foot, which was very taxing as i have chronic pain. i have been out of my medications for about a week now as well, and i spent the last money i had, which was thankfully given to me by some lovely friends, on food for my cats, and a ride home from being with a loved one in the er. my meds help treat a variety of mental illnesses i struggle with, as well as physical pain, and i am also out of hrt supplies. i also have been having troubles w accessing my own money bc of it being withheld by companies i am still trying to sort out rn. (for example i just got done dealing w/ an issue selling a concert ticket i'd bought a year ago in advance, unfortunately through circumstances that had nothing to do w/ the company, me, the customer, or the mail service i used, the tickets had trouble in the mail. due to this i was not able to make the ~300 dollars i sold the ticket for [retail price 400+ when i bought it over a yr ago] but also i was penalized the charge of a replacement ticket incorrectly and didn't receive back the 220+ usd they took for that for weeks. i'm having similar unfortunate issues happening w/ other places still and have no clue when, or if, i will get my money back at all)
i am open for commissions of all sorts + design customs + i have adopts if anyone is interested. please message me/mention on this post if you'd like commission work. these are open whenever unless specified otherwise - however, the payments i have to make are due within about a day (as of 11/11/2024) so i am really scrambling right now.
i'm so sorry again to ask. i don't want anyone going broke trying to help me of course tho, i am not entitled to anything and please only send anything if you can without worry. also even just interacting means the world, tysm đđ« hope you all are well
ca/vm: luvrwulf
pp: darklydreaaming
('dreaaming' with two a's)
#cas.txt#mutual funds#mutual assistance#emergency#donations#commissions open#oc adopt#queer mutual aid#trans mutual aid#people helping people#please share#community aid#hi im sorry im genuinely freaking out rlly rlly bad rn
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Image Descriptions are available on ALT text. Greatest kudos to @scr-ppup for the help!!! đ€
Placuitreuse ăđă a MAD/mental illness related term { for either gender or general life experiences } surrounding being a chronic people pleaser, but feeling guilty or otherwise unwell about it. One may feel like a fraud, like just some item to be used / someone for a favor to be asked from, experience long stages of dread during moments where one is not being "useful", ignore one's own needs and urges to "stay pleasant", feel like one must earn a spot in people's lives, feel like a burden and/or a weight on people's shoulders, and inherently unimportant to others. One may also isolate themselves in times of need, as it feels wrong to ask for help or otherwise lean on others for help. This may have ties to other experiences, but the two main factors are < Being A People Pleaser > && < Feeling Guilt / Unwellness About It > â the specifics are up to the user of this label.
Etymology: "Placuit", which is Latin for "It Pleased"; and "Reus", which is Latin for "Guilty".
The eyes on the flag represent the feeling of all eyes being on you, and so you must be a pleasant view, a pleasant thing to gaze at.
Note: Requested by @sorroswe and extremely self indulgent as well. I was spiraling into extremely similar feelings { very intensely as well } when making these, so do excuse the overwhelming definition and eery flag. Please enjoy, you can use this for whatever reason you deem most fit, and it can be used as a gender, general identity, MAD, or experience term-- the choice is yours!
Anyone may use my terms and flags, however, I will block as I deem fit for my wellbeing (LINK). Please only post this to WIKIs with appropriate crediting towards me (&& others involved with my creation). Do not repost to any other social platforms, ONLY WIKI PAGES. Thank you!
Taglist: @radiomogai, @lovesse, @lunentity, @rwuffles, @kiruliom, @nqvo / @cheruvic, @inknoidd, @h-halos, @puppfie, @gender-mailman, @hypnosiacon, @losergendered, @rabidbatboy, @acronym-chaos, @daybreakthing, @gengernoway, @calypsoscyclone, @local-maneater, @scr-ppup, @sevvys, @puriette-archived, @floraeth, @bluecube-coins, @idwl. Please, feel free to ask to be removed from/added to the list. (You're also welcome to ignore this!)
#mogai label#mogai flag#mogai coining#mogai flags#mogai gender#mogai genders#mogai identity#mogai post#mogai pride#mogai term#mogai terms#new mogai term#mogai#mogailiom#liom label#liom flags#liom coining#liom flag#liom gender#liom genders#liom identity#liom post#liom pride#liom term#liom terms#new liom term#liom#liomogai#mad pride#mad pride flag
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Pick a Pile: Message from the Moon Card
Disclaimer: tarot readings are not replacements for professional advice; your futureâs in your own hands. Take what resonates, donât force a reading to fit!
pile 1âŸpile 2 pile 3âŸpile 4
âœ
Pile 1:Â
Cards: The Moon, Escape (Mars in Pisces, 12th), 7 of Cups rx, 8 of Wands, Queen of Cups rx, 3 of cups, Politics (7 of Mind), Justice, 9 of Swords rx, 5 of wands, You Canât Go Back to Yesterday, Keep Your Temper rx
The Message: hello pile one! The Moon can indicate both illusions and delusions, and this is the focus of your message today. This pile really gets caught up in their own fantasies or the mask they present to the world. Thereâs the sense that reality is hard to cope with, and you immediately run to what is safe and comfortingâeven if it is only providing false comfort. You guys really like to daydream to the point that some of you are maladaptive daydreamersâor you could have similar coping mechanisms that âremoveâ you from reality (some struggle with dissociation). You might be the kind of person to tell yourself a lie and start believing it (no offense, thatâs not uncommon lol). Some of you use your friendships to distract yourself; your first response to a heavy feeling might be to go hang out. Thereâs an emphasis on really rushing to get away from oneâs feelings or problems. Going back to the mask I mentioned, most of you like to put on a brave face and not reveal how youâre really doing. Thereâs a LOT of feelings flying around inside, but most people wouldnât know by looking at you. Some of you do this because of social or family pressure; living with people who donât understand emotional and mental health. You may have internalized the idea of sweeping everything under the rug and holding it in, or you may do this to keep the peace and avoid hurtful words. Most of the time when these kinds of issues come up in my readings I can feel a heavy, melancholic, or scattered energy, but actually this pileâs energy felt kind of light and refreshing all the way through. If this is your default, that explains why you use this as a mask or why people expect it of you. However, you guys have to give space to process your heavier emotions! Itâs not easy at all and neither is giving up coping mechanisms. But to restore balance to your mindset, life approach, and discipline, you must confront that sometimes life feels like a battle. Thatâs not a bad thing even if it makes you feel bad; itâs necessary for true growth. A lot of you need to stand up for yourself, and this may manifest as tough conversations or arguments. Iâm not suggesting you HAVE to go argue with someoneâespecially if you donât feel safe, but do analyze the way you can show up for yourself. Look at the ways you have stomped or lessened yourself for the sake of someone else who doesnât have your inner wellbeing in mind. This also includes standing up to yourself; when your mind tries to enable unhealthy habits you can say no! Even though it wonât necessarily be easy, this is what may help you escape feeling frazzled or tormented. But instead of escaping, youâll be actually working through it. Your oracle cards are suggesting you may also cling onto past ideals. For example, you may hold onto people youâve known for a long time even though you no longer have a healthy relationship. Instead of biting your tongue just to keep things the same, say whatâs on your mind! If the relationship relies on you never being truthful or authentic, then itâs just a relationship between the other person and the persona you created, not you and them. If you do struggle with dissociation or mental health, I encourage you to see what mental health resources are accessible to you! Good luck pile one, I know you can do it :]
Extra Details: partying or outings as a coping mechanism, using humor to avoid looking hurt, addictive coping (Iâm not really getting substances, just unhealthy habits), doesnât vent to others (maybe you used to but stopped), laughing or smiling when youâre angry (also angry crying), hiding a big temper, always distracting yourself, very heavy nostalgia, not liking the person youâve grown up to be. You might collect, want to collect, or make little trinkets, like charms? Some of you read tea leaves or charm cast. Ending relationships, trying to remain lighthearted, people changing beyond recognition, living near the woods or forest. A really fast moving relationship (or new business?). Some of you guys might feel like a token friend or partner. People pleasing (specifically by not defending yourself or showing your real personality). Holding on to a long gone past
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Pile 2:Â
Cards: The Moon, the High Priestess, 4 of hearts rx, Maturity, Consciousness, Compromise, Past Lives (the Moon again!), Sharing (Queen of Action), 9 of cups, Choices
The Message: hi pile two!! I love you guysâ energy, it was so refreshing and sweet đ„° You have recently gone through a major inner transformation! This feels like a spiritual awakening, but it might also be mental and emotional. Either way, you went into this period of turning internally to find answers in yourself, and this triggered something that feels like a breath of fresh air in you? You couldâve felt like you were living inauthentically before, and now itâs like you ârememberedâ who you are. Thereâs this new, inner spring of energy, joy, or creativity, I can even feel it energetically. Youâre a breath of fresh air to those around you too. The Moon in your reading (you got it twice!) is speaking about your newfound knowledge. For the spiritual folks, this seems to represent an upgrade in intuition. If youâre not spiritual, you might just âknowâ yourself better. Youâre looking at the world in a new way now that youâve âfoundâ yourself, but I feel thereâs a decision making you feel stuck. Youâve been trying to compromise yourself or put off these choices, but your cards are clearly showing you know what must be done (with the high priestess and the four of hearts rx). For a lot of you, youâve changed to the point you can no longer comfortably associate with the same people or environments, but youâve been trying to hold on. You might be trying to not appear too different or strange. Some of you want to pursue spirituality more but have been unsure. Whatever your individual situation is, The Moon and the âcompromiseâ card are asking you to be true to this version of yourself youâve discovered. Like the High Priestess, this pile âsees throughâ the veil or illusions of The Moon now. A new external change is waiting to match your internal one; youâre called to act accordingly with the knowledge youâve learned about yourself.
Extra Details (these have a lot of spiritual beliefs in them so if that is not for you or makes you confused, just skip!): lemonade (pink)?, really liking the color pink or having a pink room, or liking a soft aesthetic. Seeing 6, 266, or 18 a lot. Wanting to start a business or social media page, especially a spiritual one. Accepting your gender identity or yourself in general. New beliefs or belief system. Thereâs a lot of clairaudience, clairvoyance, and insightful dreams in this pile. You may have or be returning to a belief in reincarnation, or feel like youâve discovered a past life memory. Some feel like you shared that life with one person in particular from your present? A few feel like you were royal in a past life, but you donât really care about that as much as you see it in a wider perspective (which is good! This is a very specific message I picked up on). You mightâve noticed an upgrade to your spiritual gifts/intuition before you went through this transformation, which couldâve freaked you out. Meditating a lot (maybe not anymore but during the âawakeningâ). A positive nihilismârealizing petty things donât matter as much. Lots of self love and love in general. Calm after the storm. Some of you may be into STEM; Iâm getting marine biology, and someone specifically loves shellfish đ?? (maybe eating them tooâŠ)
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Pile 3:Â
Cards: The Moon, The Hanged Man rx, 4 of swords, Comparison (5 of mind), Fighting (Knight of Mind), King of Swords rx, the Emperor, 5 of wands, Courage (Strength), The Lovers, Enthusiasm (Sun in Sagittarius, 9th house), Who in the World Are You?, Follow the White Rabbit
The Message: hi pile three! If you already felt drawn to pile 1 I encourage you to take a look as thereâs similar themes (though yallâs energy feels a bit âlighterâ). Much like that pile, your Moon card message is about the illusions you indulge in. The environments or people around you feel very chaotic or competitive, like a space that pits people against each other or promotes conflicts. This could be a workplace or internship, for example. But I feel the tension is more elevated than youâd expect in that kind of environment; it takes its toll on you and jumbles your thoughts. This pile feels disenfranchised somehow, like others coerce you into a certain position, take power away from you, or backstab you. You may close your eyes to this behavior by making excuses as to why others do this, or pretend things are better than they are. A major lesson for this pile is standing up for yourself. People pleasing can help you get through unpleasant minor interactions but shouldnât be a way of life at the expense of yourself. Itâs very emphasized that you might not feel up to the task, and this is partly because the aspect of you thatâs courageous and enduring is fragmented from the rest of your identity. Itâs not nonexistent, itâs just not readily acknowledged and thereâs a difference. All the bravery and strength you need to show up for yourself is already there, waiting to be tapped into. You may not be used to allowing this version of yourself to exist, and thatâs partly whatâs causing the inner turmoil and confusion. Overcoming this challenge can open up many paths; you may find yourself feeling curious about opportunities you would've never pursued as the âoldâ you (possibly traveling or moving for a job? Itâll lighten your mental burden at least). When you truly accept yourself and understand thereâs internal things no one can take away, then sometimes no words are needed. Your energy and actions will speak for themselves, even if others refuse to understand.
Extra Details: likes cartoons and anime a lot, spent a lot of your life on the internetâespecially preteen + teen years, and especially tumblr and vine (this is more directed at millennials and older gen-z where this doesnât automatically apply to everybody lol). Tiktok or internet humor, glasses with thick frames, indecisiveness. Some of you couldâve worked at a haunted house or a Halloween fair/amusement park? Or gone to a fun Halloween party. Couldâve also worked at a water park. Your job could be very rigorous or leave you physically and mentally exhausted (some of you are baristas?); you might work with or near water. Some of you are in a very passionate relationship and taking back power over your life will positively benefit it. Funnily, when I was pulling my oracle words for you guys, âthe moonâ came out (again) and also the word âfruit.ââif you get too caught up in facades and masks, you become oblivious to potential blessings there for your âauthenticâ self only. Or literally some of you like to eat fruit outside during night time lol. May like to analyze dreams for messages. May have an âif I donât pay attention it canât hurt meâ mindset
Pile 4:Â
Cards: The Moon, Impossible Things, Law is not Justice rx, Nature Communication, Postponement (4 of mind), Adventure (page of rainbows), Intuition (Mercury in Cancer, 4th house), Loss (Saturn in Pisces, 12th house), 4 of hearts rx
The Message: hello pile four! Some of you may have felt drawn to pile 2 as thereâs a few similar details. The message the Moon wants to give you today is more of a reminder than anything. I see a change in your approach to life. Some of you could have had very black and white thinking about the universe and spirituality before, or you might have felt like the universe was out to get you. Now, it seems youâve shed this type of thinking, either by taking a more neutral/positive stance towards the universe or by trusting your intuition to navigate lifeâs challenges. I see many of you pray, ask for signs, or look for the answers to your questions in nature. Some of you meditate for clarity about questions. Thereâs a significance about working together with another force to get things done (whether this is your outer and inner self, higher vs regular self, conscious and subconscious, you + the universe or God, etc). Many of you are not used to approaching life in this way, and previous self-sabotaging or overly-hesitant tendencies are carrying over. You may feel stuck on what youâre leaving behind, but for most of you it seems these things already ended. For example, some of you are nostalgic about relationships, but it seems you already donât talk to these people anymore or youâre not on good terms. Or, someone passed away and youâre torn between staying in the environment that included them versus moving to new things. Youâre being reminded to both trust yourself and also not get caught in a web of your own thoughts. Have you nurtured the childlike curiosity and wonder thatâs trying to work its way out of you, or have you only been focused on some kind of perfect planning? Overthinking the âdestinationâ can become a procrastination technique. The journey is also important as thatâs where your growth occurs. You donât have to keep thinking or asking for a thousand signs until you arrive at a perfect answer [never]; know you can handle the imperfect, too.Â
Extra Details: a long-term relationship that ended a while ago (a divorce for some), lots of manifestors, witches, and channelers in this pile, atheist or former atheist, not having any friends or close relationships right now (possibly because of new beliefs), feeling lonely or hesitant due to lack of support, LOTS of painters or visual artists here (this could be what youâre hesitant to pursue?), a very specific message Iâm getting is someone could have lost the ability to make art for a while (because of health or loss of materials?), going on new medication or considering it, game design, meeting people in games/mmos/on twitch, leaving a job (especially because of the people or drama), temporary jobs, working with a crush or friend, remote work (some of you could be digital nomads or wanting that lifestyle?), very dark hair, makeup artist, beauty school, working at a hair salon, visiting your friendsâ job, art or beauty as a coping mechanism
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