#truly i fucking do not
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i have to make appointments & also let my doctor know id rather continue one of the new meds she put me on bc it actually helped but ive been completely unmedicated for 2 fucking days & the thought of doing Anything makes me wanna throw up im so over being a person
#mine#i rly do not have it in me to make appointments dawg i have medical trauma can i get used to one new doctor#before im tossed around like a gd hot potato to numerous others. i literally attend my appointments w my cane#what's not clicking abt me having VERY fucking low energy in the aftermath of sm straining stress bruh#but like i dont have a choice bc i could have some of my meds stopped if i dont see certain doctors & im just here like š« #i feel somewhat stupid like damn i rly thought finally i had a chill doctor w common sense but no i still gotta fight for my gd life#just be given say over MY OWN GODDAMN WELLBEING#'oh well this causes physical health concerns' to be completely blunt idfc anymore.#truly i fucking do not#my body is a fucking nightmare my entire system resents at this point bc we always have some lvl of bs going on w it#we've no choice but to stop fucking caring bc the numerous mental strains we're dealing w worsen them ON THEIR OWN#& also like literally fuck off bc my body wouldn't be this shit if doctors actually TOOK CARE OF ME PROPERLY#before it got this bad.#there's no fucking fixing shit now by worsening my already overwhelmed & strained body/mind by making me a gd hot potato#if im not Actively Perishing or on the immediate brink of the risk IDC#I NEED TO FUCKING BE ALLOWED TO //CHILL THE EVER LOVING FUCK OUT//#//that// SHOULD BE THE PRIORITU#ive been strained for YEARS but esp since last year to a CONSTANT degree#can i fucking get one GODDAMN foot on the ground to pick myself back up jfc#im so tired & annoyed & sick of there always being SOMETHING#i just wanna fucking chill & finish my preps to stream again & get back to pursuing what i love please#im gonna LOSE MY MIND
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to any americans who feel "paralyzed" and "dont know what to do" to help with gaza:
reading a fucking book. i beg of you.
in a time of knowledge suppression is it your duty to arm yourself with knowledge.
read about americas occupations in the middle east.
read about 9/11 from outside of america and see how they inflicted senseless harm and violence to countless amounts of people and have been suppressing your rights for the past 2 fucking decades.
read about any of the countless wars from the past 30 years. especially from a civilian's. and the victims and survivors' perspective. listen to the horror stories and do not plug your fucking ears as to what your country is doing.
and read about fucking gaza and palestine and keep up with what is happening no matter how "sad" or "uncountable" you might get.
dont look away from this.
you dont have the right to be comfortable during countless active genocides.
if you're knowledgeable, you're powerful, and our current state doesnt fucking want that.
you have the power to change things if you open your eyes and scream to the world.
wake the fuck up.
Edit: please check the reblogs there are readings and ways to help
#og#truly if youre not about it your against it and i dont fuck with you because you're complacent#wake the fuck up#we're all responsible and dont you dare say you're not#americans need to stop living in the world with their eyes closed and their ears covered#look at what your fucking 'glorious country' is doing to people#everyone should be against america no fucking exceptions because america is violent and evil and needs to be stopped#then read about what america has done to the natives of their land#radicalize yourself#decolonize your mind#free palestine#land back#palestine will be free#theres too many fucking movements of just the past couple years all happening at once to act like the world is fucking fine#we are in a human rights CRISIS#WAKE THE FUCK UP PLEASE
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The most unproblematic character, genuinely wants the best for everyone, and he got NOTHING
#he truly is#the boy savior#WHY IS HIS ENDING THIS WAY#FUCK SINGED GETTING HIS DAUGHTER BACK OMG#I do love Orianna tho#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#ekko arcane#ekko#jinx x ekko#timebomb
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18+, vi-shaped brainrot, mdni
consider college roommate!vi who is the star of the rugby team and just such a fucking jock about it, spends hours at the gym, has pre and post workout drinks and never closes her door when she's blasting rock music, leaves pink hair dye on the bathroom counter, stains the tub when she gets drunk and tries to redo her roots, calls you everything but your name -- sweetcheeks, dollface, cupcake, princess -- isn't shy about her hookups, doesn't even bother to apologize the mornings after another pretty cheerleader scampers out of her room, shrugs and winks when you come out of the bathroom with a tiny thong dangling off your finger that's clearly not either of yours.
college roommate!vi who does kickboxing on the weekends and teaches a kid's course at the local gym. the first time you go there to drop something of her's off as a favor, you can't help but stare at the way she laughs and chases the kids around, so gentle with her movements, so careful, guiding their punches, correcting their forms. and the kids love her -- it's so easy to see, the stars in their eyes, the color high in their cheeks, the way the girls cluster around her legs and the boys are constantly vying for her approval, how she tries her best to divide up her attention equally between all of them.
college roommate!vi who goes real quiet the first time you laugh in her presence, a real laugh, not one of those ha-ha ones you snipe at her when she's trying to get a rise out of you, or teasing you about spending all your time in the library, but one that shakes your shoulders and makes your whole face light up. who has to blink when you cock your head and ask if she's okay bc she was so busy staring at you, wondering about the weird thumping in her chest, the tightness in her throat.
college roommate!vi who's there for you when you're stressed about your dissertation, and she knew you were smart, but listening to you rant about it at 3am in the morning, she's starting to realize that... you're kind of a genius. to be so young and already doing a doctorate in mechanical engineering, and the things you're trying to do -- they could conceivably change the world one day. who freezes when you let your head drop onto her shoulder with a heavy sigh, telling her that you don't know what to do.
"you'll figure it out, cupcake. with a brain like yours? you always do."
college roommate!vi who realizes way too late that she's kinda got it bad for you, bc since when did she start getting used to the sight of you wearing one of her gym shirts in the mornings, making scrambled eggs, rolling your eyes when she yawns her way into the tiny kitchen, leaning an arm against the fridge as she looks you over before asking what's for breakfast. who's gotten so used to falling asleep to the soft clatter of your computer keys that when you leave to visit your family for a weekend, she tosses and turns and can't figure out why it's impossible for her to get to sleep, wanders into sliver of space you guys have crammed a couch and tv into to call a living room, slumping down there to stare at the ceiling, only to feel her fingers graze against something on the ground, who tugs out the thing from under the couch only to find herself staring at one of your bunched up socks with the goofy cartoon cats pattern, and she remembers (suddenly) finding you tearing your room apart the week before trying to look for it because it's your favorite pair of socks.
she finds herself chuckling, letting the sock fall again, but the tightness in her throat doesn't recede, and invisible fingers clench in her gut as she lets her eyes fall shut.
"well... fuck."
college roommate!vi who doesn't know how to act when you get back from your weekend away, when you throw yourself into her arms, your skin still smelling of the crisp fall air and something warm, and spicy -- it reminds her of the holiday market you dragged her to last year, the cinnamon and spiced apples, the hot, mulled wine, the way it burned all the way down when she took the first sip, the way it worked the most darling flush into your cheeks above your pink knit scarf.
"i've got a present for you!" you say, when you finally extricate yourself from her gasp, your arms still around her shoulders, her hands still settled around your waist.
"y-yeah? you didn't have to do that, sweetcheeks --"
"yeah, but i saw this in a store window and -- well i just... it reminded me of you," you say, pulling back to dig something out of your travel bag, and it takes everything in vi not to tug you back into her chest. so instead, she settles for knitting her arms across her front and coughing to hide the fact that her throat's just tightened over itself at your words. you? seeing something and thinking of her? gods, she was so far gone.
"here," you say, pulling a small black box out and offering it to her on the palm of your hand.
vi stares, before reaching out to take it, her eyes flickering up towards your face, only to catch you chewing on your bottom lip in a way that makes her mind frizzle out at the edges. she refocuses her attention on the box -- opening it, she finds a tiny little gemstone, set on a thin golden chain --
"oh..." she breathes, tugging out up to let the gem dangle from between her fingers.
"it -- it's an alexandrite stone," you say, your voice a bit reedy, but you push on as vi continues to stare, "it's uhm -- one of the rarest gemstones in nature, but the cool thing is it changes colors depending on what kind of light it's under --" you reach up to grasp her wrist, her lungs seizing at the contact as you tug her into the incandescent light of the kitchen. "see? it was light blue a second ago, right? and now it's --"
"violet," vi says, her voice soft and disbelieving.
you quickly let go of her wrist, pursing your lips and wrapping your arms around yourself, looking anywhere but at her face.
"yeah -- i just --" your shoulders shrug up as she stares at you, her sky-light eyes wide, "it... it reminded me of... you."
college roommate!vi who, ever since the "necklace incident" (as the rest of the rugby team likes to call it), hasn't really been the same. she's put on the necklace and not taken it off for even a second since the day you gave it to her, but now she doesn't really know how to act around you -- bc did you actually like her? i mean, the necklace is... a pretty big thing to just give someone, but what if you were just giving it to her as a friend? as a roommate? she agonizes over it to the point that the rest of the team are so, so sick of hearing about it, they lovingly tell her to just fuck her and get it over with already. but vi insists that she can't -- it's different with you.
college roommate!vi who's stunned speechless when she gets home to find you staring at your computer, your expression blank. and at first, she thinks something's horribly wrong, but then you're slamming into her, squealing about how you've done it -- your thesis defense went well, that you're a doctor now -- and she's picking you up, spinning you around, buoyed up by the effervescence of your happiness, pressing a kiss to your cheek --
"oh my god, congrats princess! i knew it! i always knew you could do it!"
"thanks -- god, i just -- i've wanted it for so long i... i don't know what to do with myself now that i've got it, y'know?" you say, still suspended in vi's arms, your feet lifted off the ground. it takes a moment before you both seem to realize the position you're in, and vi clears her throat as she lets you down, you looking away, pressing your palms to your cheeks to cool the heat gathering there.
after a brief pause though, vi chuckles, reaching out to slip a finger beneath your chin, tilting your face up towards her's.
"c'mon, put on one of those pretty dresses of yours. we're going out."
"out?"
"yeah. to celebrate."
you blink as vi pulls her hand away.
"but it's like... 4:30 on a tuesday."
vi cocks an eyebrow, a smirk twitching at her lips, "yes, and? c'mon cupcake --" her eyes catch yours and instead of looking away, she holds it this time, something flickering behind their powder-blue depths that makes your skin prickle with heat, "i'll show you a good time."
college roommate!vi who takes you to one of her favorite clubs, tugging you through the crowd, the jostling bodies, holding your hand in her's, trying really hard not to think too much about it (or the fucking insane little black and pink miniskirt you put on), telling herself that it's just to make sure she doesn't lose you in the crowd, grinning when someone knocks you into her chest, and she finds her arm wrapped around your waist, fingers scrunching the material of your skirt, your palms splayed on her chest.
she buys the both of you a round of shots, watching with a hitched breath as your tongue flickers out to lick the salt daubed on your wrist, the way your eyes squeeze shut when you take the shot and your lips wrap around the lime slice, tries to ignore the twist in her gut like a turning blade, the way her whole body flushes with heat, the dull ache caught between her legs when you wipe your lips, your eyes bright and a little blown out, your cheeks flushed with color as you giggle and lace your hands with hers again --
"come on! i wanna dance!"
college roommate!vi who is just drunk enough to let herself dance with you, to let herself lean in to the way you're twisting your body, fingers in your hair, your eyes closed, an indulgent smile on your lips, who let's herself imagine (just for a second), pulling you in to kiss you, how soft your lips might feel on hers, how silken your skin might be beneath her hands, who tries not to groan when you lean in closer, link your arms behind her neck, press your whole body against her's, who grips your hips just a little too tight, grinds you against her, sees the way you gasp, your eyelids fluttering as you eyes glaze out --
college roommate!vi who can't help how she groans at the sight, tugs you in by the back of your neck to mash her lips to yours, crushing you to her as she kisses you (finally, finally) and you let yourself he kissed -- your fingers tangle in her choppy pink hair, and she swears you make this sweet, mind-bending whimpering noise in the back of your throat that drives her up the wall and right over it --
but when she pulls back, she sees the look on your face -- shocked and little confused, but you're drunk, and she doesn't wanna do this with you -- at least, not like this.
college roommate!vi who pulls away, only to have you follow her all the way out the club, into this small dark alley, her shaking her head, feeling a strange, saltwater prickle at the back of her throat as she says --
"shit -- sorry. i didn't mean to -- i just -- you were just so -- and i -- fuck, i didn't --"
"vi -- vi -- no, violet, listen to me --"
it's her full name on your lips that makes her pause, makes her turn to find you walking towards her. your lipstick is smeared, your hair a waterfall mess around your shoulders as you corner her against the rough brick of the club's exterior. faintly, she can still feel the pulse of music reverberating from inside the club, but out here, the air is damp and cold and quiet.
"i -- i'm sorry i kissed you," she says, her voice cracking over the syllables. she bites her lips as you frown up at her, your eyes searching her's before you let out a soft sigh and a scoff.
"well. i'm sorry you feel that way. cause..." you take half a step back, your arms curling around yourself before you glance back at her with a hard, determined light to your eyes as you press back into her space, your cheeks bright with color.
"i was really kinda hoping you'd do it again."
vi's breath punches out of her chest; it takes a few seconds of sputtering before she gathers herself enough to speak.
"wait -- what? you..."
you crinkle your nose, rolling your eyes, "i -- i thought i was making it obvious -- i mean, with the whole necklace thing -- it doesn't take a genius to figure how i feel about --"
you squeak as she pins you against the opposite wall, her lips seeking yours out, her fingers rucking up the material of your top, making you hiccup as they tease under the wire-rim of your bra.
college roommate!vi who can barely control herself when you sink your fingers into her hair, tugging lightly as you gasp out a breath, her lips tracking fire along the side of your neck, intent on making you whimper again, just the way she likes, grazing her teeth along your collarbone even as you jerk at her hair --
"vi -- fuck -- vi, not here --" you swallow around the burgeoning desire, and when you glance down to find her looking up at you, her eyes so dark they're almost black, you fight back a groan, cup your palms around her cheeks and pull her up for a long kiss.
"let's --" you suck in a breath even as vi whines at the loss your lips, "let's go home --"
"holy fuck," vi swears, somehow managing to pull herself back just far enough to taste the misty night air. she stares at you, your chest heaving, a daisy-chain of hickeys blossoming along the long expanse of your neck, your makeup good and smeared, your hair a mess, your eyes bright and so full of love as they flicker over her face.
vi smiles, helpless to the loud, uncertain drumming of her heart as she says, "y-yeah -- let's get you home, princess."
college roommate!vi who barely waits for the elevator door to close in your building before she's got you shoved up against the wall, hoisting you up, her fingers seeking out the softness of your skin, tugging up your shirt, her other hand dipping into the waistband of your skirt, her mouth open and hungry as she kisses your neck, bites down at the junction of your shoulder just to hear you moan.
college roommate!vi who's way too good at undoing your bra with one hand the second you get back to your apartment (if you were more coherent, you might've thought it hot), the door slamming closed, the pair of you toppling onto the room, breathy laughs and panting whines as she hoists you into her arms and carries you to your bedroom, laying you down so gently, kissing up your stomach till you're whimpering, your own hands pulling your top off your body, leaving you in an undone-bra and a miniskirt, your cheeks flushed. you push yourself up onto your elbows, watching as vi peaks up at you from between your legs, shooting you a wink before she's tugging down your skirt and panties all in one, an eyebrow ticking up at the lil lacey thing you had on beneath the skirt all along.
"all this for me, pretty?"
you press your lips, eyes cutting away as she looks between the bra dangling off your shoulders and the panties caught round your ankles. her lashes flutter.
"oh, a matching set," she cocks her head, running her palms up your thighs, pinning them open again as you try to press them closed, feeling suddenly much too seen (bc you'd be straight up lying if you hadn't put it on in the vague hope that the night might evolve into something like this).
she clicks her tongue, shaking her head with a cocky, shit-eating grin that makes your heart skitter in your chest. her drops a light kiss to your inner thigh, savoring in the way you whine again.
"nope, keep 'em open princess."
college roommate!vi who takes her time with you, bc rly she's been waiting way too long for this, has imagined it one too many times, but nothing can compare to the way your hips jerk up against her mouth, the way your fingers tighten in her hair every time she licks up the seam of your cunt, the way your breath catches on her name over and over again, like you can't quite get the word out even though it's just a single syllable. she groans against you, too lost in the taste of you to care about what a mess she must look like, with her tongue fucking into your desperate hole, her nose nudging your clit, her fingers digging crescent moon marks into your hipbones.
she's sure that if this were an old-fashioned cartoon, there'd be big, balloon hearts popping out of her eyes. she can't get enough of you like this -- moaning her name, your legs on either side of her face, your skin littered with the remnants of her. she has the eye-rolling thought of you the next morning, of how all these marks will still be there to remind you of her every single time you see one of them.
college roommate!vi who doesn't expect you to flip over after she's literally eaten you out seven ways to sunday, to tug her in for a soft kiss (though she really does like pressing your own taste back into your mouth with her tongue), before your fingers are inching down the length of her body to tease at her hips, trailing circles down the lines of her abs, toying with the thin line of hair that leads into her black boxer briefs.
"what are you --"
you shoot her a look that has her mouth going dry.
"what? didn't think i can give as good as i get?"
college roommate!vi who's literally going to lose her mind with the way you're fingers (at first sight so thin and delicate, but gods are they stronger than they look) are pressing into her, curling up with the kind of precision usually only associated with doctors, and then a voice in the back of her head reminds her -- oh, right, you are a doctor now. but logical thought dies after that, bc you've somehow worked your way between her legs and are looking up at her with those big dark eyes of yours, smiling sunshine bright before you drop a kitten-lick against her clit and she's twitching, keening as she cums all over your fingers.
"jesus fuckin' christ, doll -- is that what you're learning in those engineering classes?"
she's breathless, cheeks flushed, and honestly just a little embarrassed at how quickly she came, but she has to bite back another groan as she watches you lick your fingers clean, grinning sweetly up at her as if you didn't just get her off in record time.
"no, but i did do my dissertation on human-based robotics, which included a lot of late nights memorizing anatomical models so..."
vi pulls you in for a kiss, laughing against your lips.
"you're amazing, y'know that?"
college roommate!vi who can't really believe how much she's lucked out, sharing an apartment with her girlfriend, who literally cannot shut up about you, but the rugby team all agree that they'd rather have this than the months of endless pining. who brags about her genius gf to anyone who'll listen, and looks for you in the stands of all her practice matches when you can make it, who kisses you in front of everyone even when you make a show of trying to wiggle away bc she's sweaty (you don't really care).
who loves telling the story of how you guys met bc she still can't quite believe it herself, and the story always starts with --
"well, actually -- we started off as roommates."
#this is 3.4k words long hooolyyyyy shittttt someone shut me the fuck up; but literally i could've kept going#ā monsoon season#āØ steamy#arcane x reader#vi x reader#violet x reader#arcane smut#vi smut#arcane vi smut#vi arcane#arcane#lesbian#no like literally someone needs to shove their fingers down my throat (preferably vi tbh) bc i CANNOT SHUT UP#there will be more to this au TRUST#the post just got so long i felt like i needed to stop if only for length asldkjfd but like i might just start a new post and write more wo#i genuinely do not remember the last time i was THIS into a character TRULY#smut#x reader#also like i love this specific kind of 'brainrot' bc im actually legitimately writing this for myself like i want to read it back and sob#college roommate!vi
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I think the reason there isn't this big outcry around seemingly random transwomen getting banned is because the fucking CEO of tumblr isn't making it into a big spectacle like he did with predstrogen. Theyre just fucking banning tgirls quietly and ofc its only other tgirls who are noticing and speaking up about it
#literally wtf is tumblr doing#i truly dont get it#like the only thing that would make it make sense is that tumblr staff legit just fucking hate transwomen and are terfs
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what do you mean jennifer saunder's shrek 2 cover of Holding Out for a Hero didn't play over the entirety of dressrosa arc
#happy new year. it's been about a decade since dressrosa arc first aired#i thought i was well and truly done with that last edit but this struck me like a bolt of lightning#one last go at it to wrap up the year#also. to be fair to doflamingo: how the fuck do you predict or prepare for this shit#(small aside: dressrosa arc is so badly paced you would not believe how many eps i had to download to pull four minutes together)#one piece#op#CJ's op watch-through#CJ's edits#dressrosa#trafalgar law#donquixote doflamingo#amv#monkey d. luffy#monkey d luffy#lawlu#roronoa zoro#zoro#donquixote rosinante#lulaw
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my troubled perfect princess who deserves 400 years in jail <3
#i have Such an obsession with this man's profile i fear this is becoming like a nam seonho circa 2021 moment for me. oh no#iwtv#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv#armand#no one will understand this fuckass reference except maybe my treasured eastern european mutuals (do any of u weirdos watch this show)#but i was listening to Najdraga Moja by toshe proevski while i was sketching these and like. fuck. armand amv moment but truly#Š¼Š¾Š¶Š°Š¼ Š“Š° Š½Šµ ŃŠµ ŃŠ°ŠŗŠ°Š¼. Š½Šµ Šø Š“Š° Š·Š°Š±Š¾ŃŠ°Š²Š°Š¼. Š° Š·Š° ŃŠ¾Š° ŃŠø ŃŠø Š¼Šø Š“Š¾Š»Š¶Š½Š° Š“Š¾ ŠŗŃŠ°Ń. like literally lol what if i walk into the ocean#my art#fanart
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āi love being aromanticā i say as i feel my chest cavity rotting from the inside at the unquenchable desire for love in a way that is truly a secret third thing but its not a secret i want to keep it is a secret nobody is willing to listen to and im trapped in a state of isolation of my own making because no matter how much love i have to give it will never be enough. it will never be enough. it will never be enough.
#space.txt#aromantic#its like something gnawing on my bones!!!#i am who i am but who i am is somebody nobody else wants#and do i want to be wanted?#im trapped in a world that will never give me the dignity to be truly happy by myself#financially and culturally! im doomed by the narrative#i look forward and there will be friendships but they will never be enough i feel like a fucking ALIEN#i need to meet another aroace person irl so bad its so fucking lonely how do people deal with this#1k#all the notes on this.. WE WIL BE OKAY!!!#2k
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āI hate the script, the vault dwellers sound so cheesyāā my Brother in Steel you realize thatās the point, right? They were bred to act like the physical embodiment of an HR e-mail. Did you not catch the memo that Vault-Tec put out regarding their experiment facilities?
#fallout#fallout tv show#fallout tv series#they were raised to respect the Golden Rule theyāre a bunch of fucking kindergartners#theyre MEANT TO BE CRINGE#plus if you keep watching youāll SEE WHY THEY DO THAT#donāt quit in the first episode when you have so many more to explore wtf is wrong with them!!! itās a good show!!!#sometimes I think people like to hate things just to hate them and I understand. truly. i am a certified hater too#but don't dog something that has reasoning!! you're meant to cringe! and you'll see why!!!#GIVE IT TIME IT WILL MAKE SENSE I PROMISE#fallout spoilers
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hey silt verses? I just want to talk
#the silt verses#I'm soooooo!!!!! I'm sooo!!!!!#you can't do this to me silt verses!!!!!! I'm soooo!!!!!#val voice: you didnt want to be this I'm sure that#something something what did you want to be? a ballerina. a milkman.#the promised bride. become something else the trawlerman told her. she was just a girl. just a human with no where to go#all these characters stripped down of all titles and pretenses and forms and shapes. that's all they are. human#sorry i had to make another post about this because i was just talking about this on twitter yesterday#wouldn't it be truly fucking awful if it was just people out here and nothing else
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Happy 55th birthday to our feral, light and fluffy, serious actor and truly just the nicest person: Michael Sheen!!
#michael sheen#happy birthday Michael#truly one of a kind#michael sheen is my favourite actor#Heās such a nice man and I hope he has an incredible birthday#I will tag good omens bc I can do what I like#you all must witness and appreciate the birthday boy#good omens#aziraphale#crowley#david tennant#aziracrow#miles maitland#roland blum#thorne jamison#this sunshine of a man#an Angel#michael light and fluffy sheen#michael fucking sheen#michael serious actor sheen#welsh seduction machine
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Did you think I was done? Ahahahaha no, I have more.
Because chapter 70 of MOMU gave me the very dynamic between them that I missed so much, I just blacked out and started drawing uncontrollably lmao
Also. ALSO. I noticed a while ago that Prowl has the habit of..likeā¦constantly frowning. So. I did a bit of research and made this graph.
In 70 chapters, Prowl frowns rougly 104 times. And the intensity of this gesture is very clearly correlated with the development of his relationship with Jazz, as you can see ahahahahah It might be wrong tho donāt take me seriously Iām not good with graphs
#maccadam#transformers#prowl#jazz#jazzprowl#fic fanart#momu fanart#I just#mmmmm#For the whole fic Prowl had to think twice about everything Jazz says#every information could end up being wrong#sometimes even without Jazz realising it#so when Prowl says#heās trusting Jazz. itās.#also it totally wasnāt me googling ābelieving and trusting nuance difference in englishā#the moment I realised the difference I think my brain started rollercoaster loops#he canāt believe him but he found enough faith to trust him#while. YES. For the whole story Jazz couldnāt fucking be believed#list e n#Jazz did a lot of things for Prowl#fucktons of big and small gestures to show that yes he likes loves and appreciates Prowl#Iām so happy Prowl is returning this energy#like#remember that scene a while back when Jazz kissed Prowl? Cool cool okay. Did Prowl kiss him? nope. It was one sided gestures#*gesture. That kiss didnāt make me feel like itās truly something precious because Jazz started it but Prowl didnāt do quite the same#but thisš. This feels so much more important for me. Because Prowl#who is for the whole story was mister I calculate every chance of possible betrayal. Prowl whos entire personality is to trust nobody#Prowl goes. Fuck that I trust you. You feel me?#it wouldnāt be the same if he said I love you. Because love is very much something you donāt have a lot of control over.#but to trust someone? Itās a choice Prowl had to consciously make. You see what I mean? I love it. oh fuck I ran out of tags..
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soon it'll be dawn again
transcript under the cut ā¬
page 01
Fig: no way? - you're still up?
Riz: Whā yes?
Riz: Why'd I not be.
page 02
Fig: I me~~ean - that took.
Fig: whole day.
Riz: Yeah?
Fig: 'm beat.
Riz: you should sleep.
page 03
Fig: nah. my guy's still up
Fig: I wanna hang out.
page 04
Riz: That's really nice.
Fig: Hah! - Nobody ever expects an Archdevil rockstar to be nice.
Riz: ā¦ yeah. - 's just budget work tho. (the stuff I'm working on) - I've heard it's boring.
page 05
Fig: yeah, but you do itā¦
Riz: It keeps things going, right? - Nothing happens if nobody sits down and - does the thing.
Fig: That's rightā¦ - though. Yeah.
page 06
Fig: sometimes it's someone else who - doesn't want the same thing to happen.
Riz: ā¦ - mm.
page 07
Riz (off screen): ā¦It took me a long time to get that not everyone likes doing what I do. - 's probably because you guys are so niceā - or. - kind.
Riz (off screen): to anyone too, not just. - the people you /love/.
page 08
Riz: that's not how it is elsewhere. - The world'sā not. hostile. - but 's not like it's kind.
Riz: So I'm doing as much as I can nowā¦Ā
page 09
Fig: Hey.
Riz: ?
Fig: Go dig some dirt with me.
page 10
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - oh you meant like - actual dirt. (not incriminating information)
Fig: o yea.
Fig: there's clay in the backyard soil. - sometimes when I'm sun deficient or something I go touch dirt for a bit.
page 11
Fig: here u go
page 12
Riz: uh
Fig: now we make a thing! - 'm pretty good at freehanding a bowl.
Fig: I'll show u
page 13
Fig: justā yep, flatten that out as evenly as u can, thenā! - actually ur nails'd be so good at cutting out the strip. [larger than usual space] wait. - wait. wait u can carve patterns with them! we HAVE to try
Riz: uh - What. do I carve?
Fig: anything!!!
page 14
Fig: andā yep just seal the inside uh. seam?
Fig: yep that works - okay time's up! all contestant hands up
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - okay - wh. what's next?
Fig: haha - watch this.
(sound effect text): FWOOāMP
page 15
Riz: WHā DON'T JUST DO THAT???
Fig: Now it's fired!
Riz: THAT WAS NOT SAFE
Fig: (actually it's just dry. if u add water rn it'll dissolve)
Fig: ok catch!
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - careful!!
Fig: dw no need haha
page 16
Riz (thought bubble): oh - it's warmā¦
Fig: now I want you to throw this.
page 17
Fig: u gotta do it - c'mon
page 18
Riz: whā - It's like 3AM right now
Fig: oh it's not /fired/ fired it's not gonna make a loud noise
Riz: And then just? leave a pile out here?
Fig: pour water over it & it'll be gone I told u
Riz: but
page 19
Fig (off screen): RIz.
page 20
Fig: I've done all this before.
Fig: Can you trust that at least?
page 21
Riz: no, Iā - I do. - I trust you.
page 23
Riz: okay what happens now
(sound effect text): glob
page 24
Fig: we do it again!
page 25
Riz: wh. [larger than usual space] What do you mean. (this clay's too wet also)
Fig: see! you're already learning
Fig: [blank speech bubble] - there are flows that are futile to fight. - The world changes.
Fig: Things change.
page 26
Fig: I've learned my lessons with "forevers". - But - as an artist
Fig: I can give you one thing: - You can always do it again.
page 27
Fig: most of everything depends on the rest of the world, - but this. - making new. - that's yours as long as you want it.
page 28
Fig: So?
page 29
Riz: Yeah. - Yeah! - let's make another one.
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#riz gukgak#figueroth faeth#technically no spoilers in this comic but listen. I Will be gloating in tags. I will Never Shut Up#for the record!! this was fully conceptualized and sketched Before the finales. I started sketching this after the boat fight#and when murph closed riz's arc this season with ''maybe it's okay to change and welcome new things'' I pogged irl#I am simply the best at reading comprehension what can I say! (<- grown ass man with roughly the same perspective on teenhood as the player#fucked up that this became so long (almost 30 squares lol) that it took me this long to finish#lmao I say all that but. genuinely I am delirious and my feelings abt riz's arc this season are so big... I was getting psychic backlash#for a While lol. it was scary!!#had to sit down and do therapy on my own ass for a bit. the teenage apocalyticisation is real. that word isnt tho Im pretty sure#truly anything you do at that age feels like that's it that's all you've got going on forever. and its not true! its simply not true#you'll be okay my guy. you love your friends so so much but also there will be more to love out there#this one goes out to fellow aroaces and also folks leaving somewhere theyve called home for a long time#nothing lasts forever but that means new things come by too! ur ability to make new is infinite!!#there's no magnum opus people leave but new people come by too etc. I am too sleepy to remember what I wanted to say uhhh#well. thank u for looking at my art. I think thats the one pack it n ship it boys
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ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 2x01 - āHeavy is the Crownā ā³ "I know you doubt your merit of your birthright, Caitlyn. There's wisdom in that. But remember: You're a Kiramman."
#last post for a bit bc i will take a short break#arcane#arcaneedit#arcane league of legends#caitlyn kiramman#jayce talis#ambessa medarda#councilor salo#councilor shoola#caitlyn#jayce#ambessa#salo#shoola#type: gif#media: arcane#arcane season 2 spoilers#s2 ep1#katie leung's delivery in this scene was amazing with this new hardened caitlyn... my jaw was on the floor#and then when cait said shut up i immediately closed my mouth oop LMFAO (also ambessa's face damn she defo notices her potential)#and then jayce hesitating for JUST A LIIIIITLE BIT THERE my heart....... hextech now being used for weapons :((((#ALSO this is so caitlyn she literally just told THE council what she wants to do just like how she does back then in s1 when marcus was#complaining about caitlyn not obeying orders and going off on her own lol#S1 Caitlynā¦. who wanted nothing to do with the Kiramman name who wanted to forge a path on her ownā¦#but S2 Caitlyn Kiramman driven by grief anger and guilt#finally accepts her birthright becoming into the woman she thinks her mother wants her to be and accepting a position#thats ābefitting her stationā as a full on commander and leader for piltover#but is this what cassandra truly wanted?????#Does she truly know what she is shooting for???? An anger fueled revenge tour just to kill jinx???#goddamn this show. fucking spectacular
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etho said actually you _don't_ understand the intricacies of how tango is my boyfriend and bdubs is my ex
(and how tango and bdubs kiss too)
Scar: We went on that little adventure, you know! Etho: Yeah, yeah, we had our adventure, that's true, that's true. Scar: You disparaged your teammates. That's it, all right, no more spoilers. Etho: (laughs) Our team has -- our team has some weird dynamics this -- this season. Cleo: (overlapping) Really, Etho? Is there trouble in paradise? (pause) Who's third-wheeling with you, again? I can't remember. Etho: (laughs) Uhh. The -- Cleo: Genuinely can't remember. I know it's you and Bdubs. And...Tango? Tango. Tango. Etho: (loudly) Why -- Why is Tango the third wheel? Why -- why isn't Bdubs the third wheel? Cleo: Because it's you and Bdubs. I'm sorry. I understand how that relationship goes. Etho: (dissatisfied) Hmm.
#why is this what makes me post again#tangtho#etho#ethoslab#tango#tangotek#tango tek#bdubs#bdoubleo100#bangtho#< saw that in etho's comments. and. yeah#also consider that tango and bdubs were together first this series and etho is the third wheel#to the fucked up love hate thing they have going on#there's never been something more appreciating and adoring BUT biting each other as tangdubs#goodtimeswithscar#hermitcraft s10#wild life smp#wild life smp spoilers#(Sorry but some people have ethubs blinders on but that's so much less interesting to me than the whole.#Yes bdubs is pathetic and will always be at etho's feet. and Yes etho will pity bdubs and want him protected.#but tangtho (!!!) has SO much more to play with...to Me.)#and Why is etho being a tango girl so under-noticed??? lmao. it's there to be noticed All the time#hot mic! hot mic!#but also lowkey dreading ep2 lmao#anyway I'll regret posting this lol#(also I see you asks in my inbox. sorry I haven't replied yet <3 re: s7 oh do I have thoughts! it's where it truly kinda began... I started#forming a reply to you back in May I think but I've been kinda averse to posting/participating in the fandom side for a while. sorry I#stopped being a good place for your tangtho snippets </3 I've still been watching and enjoying the streams and the tango etho joy continues#just haven't really felt like posting)
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on the one hand I think inner demons could stand to have a bit more romanced rook specific content, but on the other hand the underlying in-built implication that 'yours is the one true voice of comfort and safety in my inner world' is a sentiment and intimacy so way beyond the romantic or the platonic or any secret third thing you could care to name that it makes me lose my entire poor little mind a bit. it's so big and fundamental ā near-existential ā that in that exact moment at least the distinctions kind of seem irrelevant.
all the people lucanis' mind conjures up along the way are relationships he has that are unavoidably mixed and fraught in some ways even when they're also full of love (they are fraught BECAUSE they're full of love) ā the good in them inseparable from things that hurt him at the same time. (it's about: the basic disorganized attachment patterns this poor guy is dragging around with him. careful with those, they're dellamorte heirlooms. what you love also inevitably hurts you and you won't be allowed to have one without the other, you have to surrender parts of your soul to hold on to what little you have left: this is the story up until now.) and the idea that rook isn't that to him ā that beneath the fear of wanting them when romanced (which is more its own separate thing because within this psychology, actively wanting something and not just clinging on for dear life to even a meager status quo lest you lose it is in itself dangerous bordering on catastrophic), this is a relationship where there isn't resentment, or guilt, or shame, or dread, or rage, or self-hate, or any of the other emotions that keep him paralyzed, unable to move this way or that. no debts, nothing owed of yourself and your soul's substance except what you can freely and safely and happily give. love and freedom don't coexist ā but, I mean, you're almost starting to make me think........... unless...ššš. the unconditional and undramatic 'you are here and I am here with you, you can be exactly how you are right now with me and it's safe for us both even though you're afraid it won't be, I'm not going anywhere' acceptance rook shows him here that he returns to them in the big romance scene, when it's rook who needs it. the way he's just. standing there in the center of it all, like a child desperately helplessly waiting to be found, hiding in the place he hopes you'll know to look first. (rook does know. it's one of the first things they say in there.)
in short the most important room in his little mind palace for the romance is the very first room ā the one where rook isn't. where, in fact, rook cannot be, because they disprove the entire structure of the place with their existence and presence in his life. with everyone else he's putting words in their mouths about what they think of him, and rook is the one who actually gets to come in to speak their own words to him ā and have him listen. ('he'll listen to you, he always listens to you', 'your voice is a comfort'.) of course rook isn't present anywhere else in there ā at the risk of stating the obvious to a tedious degree, they aren't one of the locks, they're bringing the key. in the very finest 'the messenger and the message' sort of way.
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#dragon age meta#rook is his first brush with actual safe attachment. and to me and because of who I am as a person#nothing could be more romantically devastating or impactful fhdsjkfhs that's literally the unreachable wistful dream the pie in the sky#the garrus romance echoes too. some of the same stuff going on under the hood here#you know who else he's sneakily like too actually? iron bull. the 'no matter where I turn I'll hurt someone I love' and dissociation stuff#there's that whole line about 'walking close to the edge or whatever'#which is masterful as a diversion b/c what this romance is really about is feeling truly safe with someone#in a sort of weirdly realistic way that makes it struggle with the conventions of video game romance but sure is Doing something!#and I unwittingly made a rook who also is on that specific arc so it's working out just devastating for me thanks for asking#the part in andrea gibson's 'prism' that's like. there is no shelter in the womb it's where you learn the cord that feeds you#could at any moment wrap around your neck. I think that's the initial understanding of love here. which is not good. if you think about it.#I don't think I really write these kinds of posts btw I just black out for a while and when I wake up from the trance I too#get to read what the fuck I've been thinking about finally. corralling that raging electric storm#that keeps overtaking my neurons at regular intervals and translating it into if not sense then certainly words. lots of words#no one is ever more surprised than me to find out what i'm thinking and feeling
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