#like feel free to ask for my opinions on serious philosophical or moral matters if you feel the need! I get it sometimes u gotta check.

[conkreetmonkey]

yk what. Maybe I will hop on the trend and take a break from American political news for a while. I don't even live there so it won't affect me, unless it does in which case Canadian news outlets will report on it. I trust my muties will let me know if the shit really hits the fan. There's no way I won't hear, anyway, my housemates are all pretty into the news anyway. I really don't stand to benefit from any of it, and in the situations where I genuinely need to be informed of something, I'll still find out. All it'll do is make me upset, and I really don't need that in my life rn. thx @gummy-worms-in-my-brain for suggesting it last night. I thought about what you said, and you were right, so. Blocking some tags, setting up some filters, all that jazz.

[bountyofbeads]

Trump Is Betting That Anger Can Still Be Power https://nyti.ms/2FiawhC

Donald Trump has so many deep seated issues (just to name a few) including anger, loneliness, truthfulness and his feelings of inadequacy that are doing damage to himself, his cult MAGA followers and this once great nation. It saddens😪me deeply but it also frightens😰🥵 me. He needs an invervention now by his family and friends but we know that won't happen so it's up to Congress to do their job.

Trump Is Betting That Anger Can Still Be Power

Trump 2020 may sound a lot like Trump 2016, but this time around the fusion of president and party is complete.

By Peter Wehner, Contributing Opinion Writer | Published June 19, 2019 | New York Times | Posted June 19, 2019 |

Donald Trump has been the most persistently unpopular first-term president in the postwar era. Much of the nation is exhausted and embarrassed by his presidency, pining for normalcy, eager to change the channel. The president’s own internal polls show Mr. Trump trailing the former vice president, Joe Biden, not only in many battleground states Mr. Trump won in 2016, but in traditional Republican strongholds like Georgia.

But as we saw Tuesday night, during a huge, raucous rally in Orlando, Fla., Trump is viewed by his supporters almost as a demigod. One excited Trump supporter who was there told me he was overwhelmed by the unwavering support for Mr. Trump, driven by a sense that Mr. Trump has been deeply wronged — by the Mueller investigation, by the media and by what he described as “anti-Trump forces.” He also told me, based on conversations he had with others at the rally, that Mr. Trump’s supporters believe his era is “spiritually driven.” What he meant by that is that person after person reported that when it comes to Mr. Trump and the presidency, “God has chosen him and is protecting him.” It is the Children of Light against the Children of Darkness.

That certainly aligns with my sense of how Trump supporters see things. It’s not just that Mr. Trump is exceedingly popular among Republicans, with his approval rating this year hovering in the high 80s and low 90s. It is that he has won their undying loyalty and affection. As a Republican friend of mine put it to me recently, Mr. Trump is the general leading the army into battle against an enemy that needs to be vanquished for the good of the nation. When facing an existential threat, there is no room for public dissent. In Mr. Trump’s Republican Party, you are expected to treat him with reverence, submission and obeisance, or you will be treated as a traitor to king and cause. Just ask Jeff Flake, Bob Corker, Mark Sanford and Justin Amash.

It was unthinkable when Donald Trump rode down the escalator at Trump Tower four years ago to announce his improbable run for the presidency, but his imprint on the Republican Party is at least as large as that of Ronald Reagan’s at a comparable point in his presidency. The Republican Party has been transformed by Mr. Trump.

That’s true in some areas more than others. In the realm of policy, Mr. Trump has pursued a fairly traditional Republican agenda on judicial appointments, abortion, tax cuts, deregulation and military spending. What makes Mr. Trump transformative is the areas in which he is redefining the right.

Let’s review. Until Mr. Trump, the Republican Party was committed, at least philosophically, to free trade. It is now led by a man who is instinctively protectionist and refers to himself as “Tariff Man.” The pre-Trump Republican Party championed limited government and entitlement reform; today it shows no interest in either. It was once unthinkable that a Republican president would target private companies in order to settle personal scores. For Mr. Trump, this is routine.

Republicans flayed President Barack Obama for implementing the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program despite lacking the constitutional and legal authority to do so. Yet Republicans in Congress overwhelmingly supported Mr. Trump’s emergency declaration to fund border wall construction despite its being a clear violation of the separation of powers.

Past Republican presidents were deeply committed to American global leadership, the Atlantic alliance, good relations with allies like Canada and publicly calling out brutal regimes like North Korea. No more. Today the Republican Party is led by a man who levels attacks on Canada even as he admits he “fell in love” after exchanging “beautiful letters” with the leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-un. Mr. Kim, it used to go without saying, rules what is arguably the most repressive government on earth; this is the man to whom Mr. Trump makes enormous concessions while getting almost nothing in return. And let’s not forget, however remote it might seem now, that the idea that a Republican president would side with the leader of Russia rather than his own intelligence agencies was once unimaginable. Under Mr. Trump, it happened. Mr. Trump has also turned a party that for decades was pro-immigration and friendly with Mexico — and in the case of Reagan, in favor of amnesty for undocumented workers and against putting up even a fence on the southern border — into one that is increasingly antagonistic toward immigrants and relentlessly hostile to Mexico, the current thaw notwithstanding.

Mr. Trump has flipped the Republican Party from outward looking to inward looking, from the champion of an open society into the cheerleader of a closed one, from optimism to pessimism. (It’s a long road to travel to get from “Morning in America” to “American carnage.”) A party that once claimed to abhor “identity politics” now relies on them as its closing argument in elections.

But as significant as these changes have been, the Trump transformation of the Republican Party has been even more decisive and far-reaching in other realms.

Republicans once fashioned themselves as members of the party of ethics, morality and law-and-order; today they fiercely defend a president who is essentially an unindicted co-conspirator for authorizing hush money payments to a porn star, who is a promiscuous liar, a man whom Robert Mueller could not clear of obstruction of justice and who just last week indicated he would eagerly listen to a foreign power that offered damaging information on his opponent during the upcoming president race. He even criticized the F.B.I. director he chose for saying that the agency would want to know about any foreign election meddling.

The most withering line of the year, so far, came from one of the Democratic candidates, Pete Buttigieg, who referred to Vice President Mike Pence, an outspoken evangelical Christian, as a “cheerleader for the porn star presidency.” Many of those who during the Bill Clinton presidency insisted character and personal integrity were essential qualities in political leaders have in the Trump era decided such matters are utterly unimportant. By their refusal to confront those flaws and failures in Mr. Trump, they are complicit in the debasement of American culture and politics. Many of Mr. Trump’s most vocal and prominent evangelical supporters, because of their rank hypocrisy, are doing more to damage Christian witness than the so-called New Atheists ever could.

Beyond that, in their ferocious defense of the president, Trump supporters are signaling that decency is a form of weakness, that cruelty is a welcome and highly effective political weapon and that the low road is the preferred road. At one point, Republicans were willing to tolerate Mr. Trump’s brutish tactics and reprehensible character as the price of party loyalty; today many of them seem to relish it. They see the dehumanization of others as a form of entertainment.

All of this has come at a crushing price, including driving away young people in huge numbers. The Trump ascendancy has made far too many Republicans increasingly contemptuous of serious intellectual and policy argument, indifferent to empirical truth and disdainful of governing. They prefer to turn politics into an ongoing freak show. But the greater price is the indelible stain all this places on the integrity of a party many of us once believed in, served in and took pride in.

Mr. Trump’s takeover of the Republican Party is complete. Healing and renewal can’t begin until the party rejects the malignancy of Trumpism and embraces the belief that politics is not only a necessary activity but a noble calling, an imperfect but essential way to advance justice. That day may yet come. Right now it feels light years away.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Fic: The Beginning of Wisdom - Chapter 13 (Ao3 link)

Fandom: Flash, Legends of Tomorrow Pairing: Leonard Snart (Len) & Leonard Snart (Leo), Len Snart/Mick Rory, Leo Snart/Mick Rory, Len Snart/Mick Rory/Leo Snart, Leo Snart/Ray Terrill, Len Snart/Barry Allen

Summary: In which Leonard Snart is twins.

(the life and times and loves of Len and Leo Snart)

—————————————————————————————————–

Leo did end up shipping the metas – sans Nimbus, who as predicted ended up trying to murder someone immediately after being released and who Len disposed of via applied cold gun and some minor philosophical deal-related disputes with Barry – to Paris as part of his tech crew, a situation absolutely none of them had any objection to.

Mick accompanied him to protect him and keep an eye on him, but his watchfulness was probably unnecessary – the whole lot of them were far too starry-eyed to make any real threats.

While they were on the plane, private and chartered because Leo needed all that space to carry all of his gowns and shoes and accessories, they even had a conversation that sealed the deal: apparently, it was their first visit to Paris. Or outside of the state borders at all, for that matter.

"It's a great city, you'll love it," Leo assured them.

"How do you do it?" Bivolo asked, playing with one of the tiny salt shakers he’d received along with his airplane meal. "Thief, supervillain and fashion designer..."

"I work a lot," Leo said. They had very much opted not to tell anyone else about themselves – Barry was an exception under the newly established 'want to date' rule. "Sometimes, it almost feels as if I'm in two places at once."

"You broke us out, and now you're giving us a trip to Paris and cover jobs that will pay us," Mardon said, sounding suspicious. "What's in all this for you?"

"Well, I always appreciate a thank you."

"So you've said," Baez said dryly, but for all her cynicism she'd been the most wide-eyed with wonder at the suggestion of Paris, and she couldn't stop fingering the sequined dress on the hanger next to her seat.

"Also, if you ever come back to Central City, you owe me one," Leo said. "I've got plans to give the Flash a real challenge with my very own Rogues Gallery."

"The Rogues," Bivolo said. "Nice. I like it."

"Feel free to say no, of course, but – would it be possible – I mean – just if it’s not a bother – but – I don’t know – could I try on one of the dresses?" Baez asked shyly. “Just once?”

"Not these ones, for risk of tearing, but if you like, I think I have a sample jumpsuit from last season you could probably fit into," Leo offered. "It has multiple points of light from built-in battery – I was doing a light-related superhero theme –"

"That would be amazing."

“I’ll give it to you to keep if you agree to pretend to be a scholarship art student that I’m sponsoring.”

Baez blinked. “Uh, sure. I mean, I was studying medicine, not art, but I can fake art, no problem. Why?”

“I’ve been dying to convince the tabloids that I’m cheating on my husband,” Leo said with a shrug. “It’s good free publicity, but they just won’t damn bite.”

“Can I volunteer for that job?” Bivolo asked, half-jokingly. “If I get an outfit out of it…”

“If you’re serious about that offer, I will happily trade couture outfits for tabloid fodder. Paris loves a scandal, and a bisexual one is even better.”

Leo conveyed the entire conversation to Len in text, complete with emojis, smug with the knowledge that he was entirely doing his part of this particular job.

Len rolled his eyes – he, for one, did not see the appeal of appearing in French tabloids as anything other than "Mysterious Man Disappears With Priceless Treasure" – but with the question of whether the metas would become violent settled, he was now satisfied that Leo would be just fine.

He knew very well that joining a fashion show wasn’t just fun and games and indulgence: Leo would run each one of the 'rescued' metas absolutely ragged until they had no time to think, and they'd thank him for the privilege.

Len, in the meantime, had other work to do.

"All right, Scarlet," he said, walking into STAR Labs. "Metas are all taken care of and Lisa, Mick and I are escorting them on their way out of the city already. In the meantime, what can I do to help with your evil speedster doctor?"

Sounded like a nightmare, put like that. Sure, it'd be a help to doing surgery, but the amount a doc like that could screw a guy up from the inside...

"Wait," Barry said. "Which 'I' are you?"

"The one standing in front of you," Len replied, with some amusement. "Obviously."

"No, I mean – you said 'Lisa, Mick, and I' when you were talking about – him."

Len shrugged. "It sounds less weird than saying Leonard Snart like I'm talking in third person."

Barry clearly had more questions.

"Maybe now isn't the time?" Len suggested. "After we beat your evil guy, you can come over and ask all the questions you like."

"Including about your crush?" Barry asked, trying for brazen but underselling it by blushing.

Len smirked. "Including that, yes."

"Okay," Barry said. "So the plan right now is that we’re going to set up an ambush for evil Wells, calling in all of our allies – you guys, us, our friends from Starling, Firestorm –"

“Firestorm?”

“Yeah, it’s two people who join together to light on fire; I’ll introduce you.”

“What is with all of these light-themed superheroes?” Len complains. “I feel like we’re starting to repeat on a theme.”

“Cold – Snart – Len. Focus.”

The plan to capture the bad guy, much to Len's surprise, actually worked.

He'd really been expecting something a little less, well, anti-climactic – it was the final boss battle! Surely –!

But nope. They all gathered up, they found the individual in question, they captured him.

Of course, once Wells (Thawne? Eobard?) was locked away, he sold the whole team a boatload of crap about saving Barry Allen's mother from being murdered via time travel, which would also conveniently allow him to go back to his own original time period, the existence of which he'd been using to justify murdering people in this time period.

Apparently people’s lives didn’t matter if they were historical figures?

Len’s not even trying to figure out that logic.

"Uh, no," Len said when Barry asked his opinion. "Obviously you shouldn't do it."

Barry blinked owlishly at him. "What?"

"...is that not the answer everyone has been giving you?"

"No," Barry said. "They all said they couldn't make the decision for me and it was up to me."

"Well, that's crap," Len said.

"Why shouldn't I do it, then?"

"I have a whole list," Len said. "Starting, first and foremost, with the fact that it's obviously a trap –"

"I don't think it is," Barry said. "He sincerely wants to go back to his time. It's what he's been building towards this entire time."

"Yes, about that," Len said. "Why is it that you're okay with illegally and indefinitely imprisoning people whose biggest crime is aiding and abetting Grade B theft – not even committing Grade B theft, just aiding and abetting – but somehow the multiple murderer that killed your mother gets freedom and everything he wants?"

"It's not that –"

"It really is, Scarlet."

"I have a chance to save my mother from being murdered, Snart!"

Len shrugged. He didn't expect the existence, or lack thereof, of one Nora Allen to affect his own life in the slightest – he never did interact much with people from the fancier suburbs other than steal from them, and Barry's family wasn't rich enough to interest him – so he didn't really have a dog in this race other than disliking the unsatisfactory narrative it created.

"How much of your life will you miss?" he asked instead.

"What?"

"Well," Len said. "You became a CSI because of what happened to your mom, right?"

"Yeah."

"And you lived with the pig and Iris, right?"

"His name is Joe, you know."

"Sure, Joe 'Pig' West –" Barry rolled his eyes. "– but that's not the point. Would you say he taught you anything? Excluding morality, of course; can't teach what you don't have."

"Of course he taught me stuff," Barry said, pointedly ignoring that last part. "He practically raised – oh. I think I see what you’re saying."

"Imagine a world without your friends," Len suggested. "Without your powers. Without your job. A world where you, yourself, are an entirely different person, because you don't have any of the memories that make you who you are – do you think Leo and I are the same person? Now that you've spent some time with us, I mean."

Barry blinked, clearly taken aback by the seeming non-sequitur. "No," he said. "Not at all, even though you make it confusing sometimes with the way you talk about yourselves. He's – uh – would it be weird to say that he's too nice to be you?"

Len tried to hide a smirk. "A bit of a misreading of his personality, but I get what you mean."

"No, I'm not saying it right," Barry said, shaking his head. "He's – I knew lots of people like him in school. Nice, friendly, and they'll forget about you the second you turn away. And understanding! Ugh, they're so understanding that you just want to scream – uh. Not Leo, I mean, just, you know –"

"I know," Len said. "School traumatizes us all in different ways. So we're not the same?"

"No," Barry said firmly. "Not at all. Leo's too, well, too nice; I could like him, but I probably wouldn't be friends with him – not proper ride-or-die friends –"

Leo wasn't ride-or-die for anyone but Len, Lisa, Mick, and maybe – maybe – Ray, so that was fair.

"And anyway, I don't like him the way I like –" Barry fell quiet and turned red.

Len grinned. "That's okay," he said. "I like you, too."

Barry turned even more red.

"But do you get the point I was trying to make?"

Barry blinked at him.

"Imagine a universe where there was just one of me," Len said. "And in that universe, there were a certain set of life experiences that would make me, me, and another set of life experiences that make Leo, Leo. But in that universe, there aren't two of us – there's just one. And what set of experiences I live makes me into either Len or Leo."

Barry nodded slowly. "So if I change my past –"

"You could go from being your own version of Len to being your own version of Leo."

"But I remember what happens when I time travel," Barry protested.

"So you'd be a Len in a Leo's world," Len said with a shrug. "Even worse: all your friends would expect you to act like someone who grew up with two loving parents, you'd never be able to be yourself or talk to anyone or explain your phobias, they'd think you'd gone crazy from the personality change –"

Barry shuddered. "What if my memories do change?"

"Then the person you are now is dead, and a new person gets the life you've always wanted," Len told him. "All this, of course, assuming that you saving your mom back when you were eleven doesn't remove your powers and strand you in the past, like, say, another interfering-in-the-proper-course-of-time speedster we know of..."

Barry winced.

"This is literally a no-win scenario, Scarlet," Len said firmly. "You do this, then the guy who ruined your life gets everything he's always wanted and you get either dead and replaced, stuck in a world that doesn't fit you, or stuck in the past. And all that's before your speedster buddy has enough time in the future to come back and try to kill you like he did the first time around –"

"I still have to try," Barry whispered. "I have to see her."

Len shrugged a second time and watched him go.

And then he picked up his cold gun and made his way towards STAR Labs.

He was familiar with this, after all; Leo also had trouble making the hard choices like this, the ones with loss and risk. Leo was good at emotions – Len was good at ruthlessness. He'd learned how to kill, over the years, watched it get easier and easier; he could do this for Barry, now.

Because as far as Len was concerned, this Eobard Thawne wasn't making his Back to the Future dream come true – even if Len had to ice the speedster himself to make sure of it.

"Snart?" Cisco asked, even as Joe put his hand on his gun. His partner-cop – who looked traumatized – and pretty little Iris were there, too, holding hands and looking exhausted. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to help," Len lied. "Didn't Barry tell you I was coming?"

Yes, he put a little stress on the word 'Barry'. Len fully acknowledged that he was an asshole like that.

"He must have forgotten," Caitlin said with a sigh. "I don't know what help you can offer, though; he's going to be making the attempt momentarily. He’s in the Particle Accelerator right now, with Wells – uh, Thawne – er, Eobard Thawne, he’s there, too, in his time ship."

"In that case, I'll just watch for now," Len said.

"Brave of you," Snow said. She was a lot snippier now that she wasn't being kidnapped.

"Why?" Len asked, frowning. "Is there a risk? Barry didn't mention."

They all exchanged glances.

"Tell me," Len demanded, his voice going hard. "Now."

"Well, it's probably not going to happen –"

"I didn't ask for your analysis," Len said. "Tell me the risk."

"We don't have to listen to you –" Caitlin started.

"If this goes wrong, it could open up a black hole," Cisco said all in a rush.

"Cisco!"

"What?! It's true! And he's scary!"

"Hold up," Len said, starting to get really angry now. As always, his voice remained steady and even, but despite that he thought that they might have gotten the idea, because everyone in the room exchanged alarmed looks. "Are you telling me that Scarlet is doing something that might help his own life personally, even knowing at the risk of putting everyone else on earth in danger?"

"It's not like that!" Iris exclaimed.

"Uh," Cisco said.

"The chance is miniscule, right?" Joe asked. His hand was on his gun again, and he was glaring at Len like he thought it might solve all his problems to shoot him now.

Typical pig.

He'd better not even think the phrase "officer involved" shootings, because Len could outdraw him any day.

"Yeah, super small," Cisco said hastily, looking relieved. "Really, really small."

"Tell me," Len said. His voice is still very even. "Greater or smaller chance of the Accelerator blowing up the first time it turned on? No, wait, of the Accelerator blowing up – due to intentional sabotage - because of the identity theft of the creator - by a time-traveller with super powers - for the specific purpose of giving someone else a specific set of superpowers – so that he could use him as a living battery in his souped-up Mandalorian?!"

"It's a time bubble ship," Cisco muttered, but his face had gone pale.

"We're not talking about that," Len snapped. "Tell me, what are the chances of that, which we all know actually happened, compared to Barry literally destroying the world in a fit of selfish assholery?"

"You don't –" Joe started.

"Shut up, hypocritical pig," Len said harshly. "No one wants to hear your opinion."

Joe puffed up. Predictable.

"Has Barry reported you yet?" Len asked before Joe had a chance to start yelling.

Sure enough, that stopped Joe flat.

"What?" the partner-cop asked. "Report Joe for what?"

"Illegal imprisonment without a trial or a warrant," Len said. "Human trafficking, at least attempted. Conspiracy to hide an ongoing crime from the police – should I go on?"

Joe's face flushed.

"But –" Partner-cop started, then he stopped, clearly reviewing. "Under the circumstances –"

"No man's above the law," Len said. "Barry agreed to report you to somebody up your chain as part of our little deal. Might not do anything, what with the CCPD's usual lax standards, but at least it'll be down on paper forever that you did it. You do remember that, right, the whole incident that happened within the last 24 hours or so, where a convicted criminal had to free the prisoners you were keeping here – in solitary confinement, I hear – torture –"

"We didn't torture them!" Cisco exclaimed.

"You know solitary confinement with no exercise is literally torture, right?" Len asked him.

Cisco flushed.

"You're all as criminal as I am; you’re just too self-righteous to admit it," Len said, rolling his eyes. "But we can deal with that later. Where – ah, there."

He marched up to the microphone, with no one stopping him. "Barry Allen," he said harshly. "You had better stop what you're doing right now –"

"It's too late," Cisco said. "I'm sorry. He's already running too fast for him to hear you."

Len snarled soundlessly. "Well," he said. His voice was still steady, he was pleased to note, no matter how ticked he was getting. "Who's going to show me to the Accelerator so that I can slow him down?"

He put his hand on his cold gun.

Silence for a long moment.

"I will," Iris finally said.

"Iris, no!" Joe exclaimed.

"Shut up, Dad," she snapped. She seemed extremely angry, though her eyes with a bit glassy with tears. "I was willing to forgive you for lying to me about the whole Flash thing for months, but I never thought – I never – I wouldn't – damnit, Dad, this is bullshit, and moreover, this is bullshit you should have told me about." She glared at all of them. "You all should have known better."

With that, she turned and walked out.

Len followed.

"I'm going to forgive them eventually," Iris said conversationally when they got to the end of the hallway. "So don't think you can use this against me."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Len said. "Don't actually care about you all that much, to be honest."

She snorted. "Thanks," she said, but she sounded sincere. "That makes you the only person who didn't immediately decide that you could make decisions on my behalf."

"Including Barry?"

"Oh, definitely including Barry," she said. "He wanted to tell me, but Dad made him promise not to because knowing might 'put me in danger'."

"More or less danger than he was allowing his foster kid to get into actually fighting as a vigilante?"

"Don't get me started on the misogyny of it all," Iris said. "I'm well aware of it. And I'm still angry at him. And at Barry."

"I'm pissed at him, too," Len agreed. "He didn't tell me all the risks of this process or I would've tied him up and kept him away."

"Speedsters can vibrate through rope, you know; that's why we kept Wells in the Accelerator."

"I'd find a way," Len said. "He's enough of an idiot that something could be devised."

"I feel like I shouldn't be agreeing with you," Iris mused. "But yeah, Barry kind of is an idiot sometimes."

"I can't believe I'm going to sleep with him," Len agreed. He rather liked that meme; he'd never thought he'd have a chance to use it in real life.

"Yeah, I – wait, what?"

"As soon as this is over," Len said. He still liked Barry, after all. Len acknowledged he was being something of an idiot, continuing to like Barry despite it all, but he didn’t let people into his heart easily – and once he did, he was stuck. Just like he was stuck now. "Assuming he doesn't destroy the world, of course."

Iris had a hilarious expression on her face.

Then, a moment later, she started laughing. “You know what,” she said. “You know what? Good for Barry. You’re really hot. You may even be hotter than Oliver Queen.”

“I’m cool, not hot,” Len said, waving his gun in the air a bit. “Though I agree with the second half of your statement.”

“That you’re hotter than Oliver Queen?”

“I hear he’s a cold fish,” Len said in his best deadpan.

Iris started laughing almost right away, which meant she got the joke. “That’s awful,” she giggled. “He just got rescued from his boat accident –”

“It’s been years.”

“Still. Too soon.”

“You assume I care.”

Iris shook her head. “Go and stop our lovable idiot, why don't you,” she said, nodding at the doorway.

Len looked at it – there were sparks visible around the sides – and pulled out a handgun with his free hand, offering it to Iris. “Know how to use this?”

“Cop kid,” Iris said, accepting it and checking it expertly. “Of course I do. But why..?”

“I was a cop kid, too,” Len said. “It doesn’t mean crap. You can be my back-up.”

Iris blinked. “Me? But – Barry –”

“I’m going to try to stop Barry from breaking time with his run,” Len said. “How do you think ol’ Eobard’s going to feel about that? Remember, he’s in there, too.”

Her face settles into a grimly determined expression. “Got it.”

[sowingseedsandshootinghoops]

When Breath Becomes Air: How to Live a Life of Meaning from the Point of View of a Neurosurgeon Dying from Lung Cancer

Note on the text: I used Paul Kalanithi’s When Breath Becomes Air as published by Random House in 2016. 

Paul Kalanithi was a student of neurosurgery at Stanford who was diagnosed with, and even died from, a severe form of lung cancer. The title of his autobiography come from the first two lines of Caelica 83 by Fulke, as quoted on the introductory page: “You that seek what life is in death;/ now find it air that once was breath” (Introductory page). These lines really helped elucidate the central theme of the book: what makes life meaningful?

When ever since he was a child, Paul was an avid reader of books and had seen scores of authors attempt to answer this question, with varying degrees of success. But he didn’t think about it too deeply, especially in terms of the brain, until he was a student at Stanford, studying English, and encountered a book entitled Satan: His psychotherapy and Cure by the Unfortunate Dr Kassler, J.S.P.S. by Jeremy Levin, a book which he otherwise hated. However he was intrigued by the book’s assertion that what is called mind is just another function of the brain. Kalanithi says that it was 

an idea that struck [him] with force. . . . Of course it must be true- what were our brains doing otherwise? Though we had free will, we were also biological organisms-the brain was an organ, subject to the laws of physics too! Literature provided a rich account of human meaning; the brain, then was the machinery that somehow enabled it. It seemed like magic (30). 

It was then that he decided to started taking classes in neuroscience and biology. Eventually he decided to pursue post graduate studies as a neurosurgeon. However he always saw what he he was doing in the medical field as the practical application of the various philosophies of life that he had encountered. It was only in “practicing medicine that [he] could pursue a serious biological philosophy” and see where it was that “biology, morality, literature, and philosophy intersected” in the creation of a meaningful life (43, 41). 

It’s clear that he sees brain, meaning the organ itself, and mind, the more philosophic “thought center”, as being intricately linked together, and that both serve an important function in the process of creating a meaningful life. He continuously comments on how “the brain mediates our experience of the world” and how any damage to the brain forces people to ask the question “what makes life meaningful enough to go on living?” (71). Yet the brain itself isn’t enough. In order to create a meaningful life, we must move beyond the realm of that physical organ and into the more metaphysical world of mind. In the aftermath of his diagnosis, Paul became very aware of this fact. Despite all the knowledge he had regarding what his body was going through, he needed to dive into the deeper realm of mind in order to be able to really understand, much less much express to others, what he was going through. What it was like to know that you are dying and how that affects you. So he dove back into literature and read “anything written by anyone who had written anything about mortality. [He] was searching for a vocabulary with which [he could] make sense of death, to find a way to begin defining [himself] and [begin] inching forward again” (148). Although it helped for him to understand what his body was going through as a physical organism, it wasn’t enough. He needed the words to describe what he was going through as an individual, not just as a generic man-with-cancer. He thought in a similar way regarding the brain and mind and their ability to help us live a meaningful life. 

We need both our minds and our brains. Brains live in the world of science, of facts, of universal laws that can be understood and that are adhered to by more or less everyone. Minds exist in a world of subjectivity and personal opinion, and even “if a correct answer is possible, verification is certainly impossible” (172). No one really knows why Suzy loves Joey instead of Stevie. It’s a mystery. Ultimately both viewpoints offer valuable insight and neither has the answer all on its own. Science offers us the best way to learn about the physical world, including the brain, and how it works, by giving us the “most useful way to organize empirical reproducible data, but its power to do so is predicated on its inability to grasp the most central aspects of life: hope, fear, love, hate, beauty, envy, honor, weakness, striving, suffering, virtue. Between these passions and scientific [theories] there will always be a gap. No system of thought can contain the fullness of human experience” (170). In other words, science’s strength lies in the fact that it can explain tangible, related, and universal facts, which is incredibly important, but in doing so it misses an incredible important part of the human experience which is the subjective experience of the individual: 

The problem however eventually becomes evident: to make science the arbitrator of metaphysics is to banish not only God from the world but also love, hate, [and] meaning. . . a world that is self-evidently not the world we live in. That’s not to say that if you believe in meaning, you must also believe in God. It is to say that if you believe that science provides no basis for God, then you are almost obligated to believe that science provides no basis for meaning and therefore life itself doesn’t have any. In other words, existential claims have no weight” (169). 

So you need to understand both physics and metaphysics, you need both a brain and a mind, in order to figure out how to live a life that is meaningful. 

The truth is that the business of figuring out how to live a life that is meaningful is a tough business to be in precisely because 

your values are constantly changing. You figure out what matters to you and then you keep figuring it out. . . . . You may decide you want to spend your time as a neurosurgeon, but two months later you may feel differently. Two months after that you may want to learn to play the saxophone or devote yourself to the church (160-161). 

Ultimately how do we create meaning for ourselves? We make decisions. We at some point decide what is important to us and how we are going to live our lives, and we do this because we are, underneath it all, meaning-making machines. Kalanithi talks about how the uncertainty regarding how much time he had to live affected the way in which he viewed himself and was blocking him from being able to lead the full and meaningful life that he wanted. He did not know if he had enough time to go back and finish his studies, or if he should just focus on being a good husband and a philanthropic member of community and live as if he were going to die tomorrow. Until one day he made the decision that he was going to live his life as if he was going to life forever, and go back to serving people as a neurosurgeon resident for as long as he could. The way he describes it, somewhat humorously, is that he had gone through all the stages of grief just to arrive at denial: “And now, finally, maybe I had arrived at denial. Maybe total denial. Maybe in the absence of any certainty we should just assume that we’re going to live a long time. Maybe that’s the only way forward” (162). 

So what is it that makes life meaningful? Kalanithi doesn’t provide a definitive answer. After all he can only speak for himself. But there are a few things that he does know about making life meaningful. He knows that the brain is important in this process, as is the mind. But what is perhaps most important is that people can find life-fulfilling meaning in a variety of ways, in whatever they do. So not everyone may find it in neurosurgery like he did, others may find it in teaching, or simply finding ways to love the people around them, and that’s ok. All those ways are equally valid. Sometimes people can have the most impact, and can find that life-defining level of meaning, in ways that, to others, might seem insignificant, even though they really aren’t. Just look at the words he writes to his daughter Caty, who is too young to have any living memory of her father, at the close of the book: 

When you come to one of the many moments in life where you must give an account of yourself, provide a ledger of who you have been, and done, and meant to the world, do not, I pray, discount that you filled a dying man’s days with a sated joy, a joy unknown to me in all my prior years, a joy that does not hunger for more and more but rests satisfied. [And] in this time, right now, that is an enormous thing (199). 

Sometimes it will be in the small things that you find the most meaningful way to live your life, sometimes it’ll be in the big ones. Either way it is safe to say that both your brain and your mind will help you on the path to deciding what a meaningful life is to you and how to live it. 

[law10]

'DAYA-MARAN' (Euthanasia) AND 'ICHCHHA-MARAN' (Willfully Embracing a Dignified Death)

'DAYA-MARAN' (Euthanasia) AND 'ICHCHHA-MARAN' (Willfully embracing a Dignified Death)

[Note - March 2018 - Very recently the Supreme Court of India rendered a very important decision, whereby they have allowed Euthanasia on the basis of an earlier Will made by the patient. The Court has declared that 'Right to have a dignified Death' is a natural extension of the 'Right to life'.

Though this decision of the Supreme Court is subject to certain conditions, it is still an important verdict. However, the subject of 'Willfully embracing a Dignified Death even though a person is healthy' is still to be tackled by the Supreme Court of India and / or the Indian Parliament.

On the subject of 'Euthanasia' & 'Willfully embracing an honourable Death', the present author had written an article in 2016, and had submitted it to a Ministry of the Govt. of India, who had asked for public opinion on the subject of Euthanasia. (Subsequently, the author also posted couple of articles in Marathi, an Indian language).

It will be interesting to read this 2016 article even now, as it discusses some important basic issues related to a 'Dignified Death'.

It also should be noted that the basic issue raised in this article is applicable everywhere in the world, because whereas the Law may differ from country to country, the tenets of 'Morality' are the same world-over].

'Euthanasia' has been under great discussion recently, as the Govt. of India is planning to bring out a Law on this subject. The Family Welfare Dept., Govt. of India have asked for public's views on this subject. In that connection, this brief monograph.

(1). Several people argue that, since one's birth is not in one's hands, one's death too should not be in one's hands. But there is a fallacy in such thinking. It is no doubt true that one's birth is not in ones' hands. But, Man is a 'thinking-animal'. Man has been awarded intellect, reasoning capability, decision-making ability, and much more. Every man and woman would like to live a 'Dignified' life. In the same way, he / she has a right to a 'Dignified' Death.

Before we proceed, let us understand the difference between 'Illegal' and 'Immoral'. Let us look at an example to make this point clear. Piracy and 'Looting other ships' is clearly an immoral act. But, in medieval era, such looting was sanctioned by European monarchs, and so it was 'Legal' as far as the pirate's country was concerned. Today, looting of ships is not legal internationally, and so the acts of Somalian pirates are not only immoral, but also illegal.

In the same manner, a persons' choosing own dignified Death has not so far had a Legal approval, and so it is considered illegal. But, is it Immoral? Let us give this poser some deep thought.

So the matter of Euthanasia arises. The Dictionary defines 'Euthanasia' as follows:

'The act or practice of killing (helplessly sick or injured) individuals for reasons of mercy'.

We can call term this act as 'DAYAMARAN'. (Daya - Mercy. Maran - Death).

This is what the Govt. is proposing now by way of a Law, whereby terminally ill patients can be allowed to die (i.e. have Dignified Death, rather than uselessly prolonging life).

The Govt.is terming this as 'Passive Euthanasia'.

[For our discussion, let us call this type as 'Category-A'].

Of course, many a time such a patient may be in Coma, and so, the patient's near-relatives' consent, as well as the Doctors' approval, will be necessary to put that action into effect.

Naturally, Euthanasia is a Moral action, and it will also become LEGAL once a Law is brought in.

Of course, while bring in the Law, the Govt. will have to ensure certain procedures, so that the law is not misused.

I wholehearted support the Law on Passive-Euthanasia, which is to be passed & put into practice.

(2). However, I would like to take this discussion somewhat further.

The Govt. of India is presently, only discussing the matter of 'passive Euthanasia', for terminally ill patients & patients in Coma. But what of Terminally ill patients who are fully conscious, who are in their full-senses and awareness, and who consciously want death rather than suffering such as acute, unbearable pain & other indignities like 'depending on others for their bodily cleanliness & toiletry needs'? Do they not have any control over their life and their Death?

[Here, let us call this as 'Category-B'].

If such patients give a 'proper', duly attested, & legally valid Declaration, they should be legally allowed to pass on from this world in a dignified way.

This is not 'DayaMaran' ( Euthanasia), but is 'IchchhaMaran' ( Ichchha - Will, Desire. Maran - Death).

(3). The next category is of persons who are today hale & hearty, but who are worried what would happen to them if in future they become ill and their condition becomes like 'Category-B' or 'Category - A'?

[For the present discussion, let us call such persons as 'Category-C'].

If such persons make a 'Health Will', they ought to be allowed to have a dignified death if in future they fall into categories 'B' or 'A'.

Generally a 'Will' is made for Financial matters. What is signified by the English word 'Will', has been termed in Indian context as 'Mrityuparta' (Mrityu - Death. Patra - Letter / A Document). However, it is now termed as 'IchchhaPatra'. (Ichchha- Will, Desire. Patra - Document).

The above-referred 'Health Will', will also give rise, not to 'DayaMaran' (Euthanasia), but to 'IchchhaMaran' (Ichchha - Will, Desire. Maran - Death).

Here too, legal processes can be laid out, such as Registration of the 'Health Will', i.e., 'IchchhaMaranPatra' (Ichchha -. Will, desire. Maran- Death. Patra - Document).

The great ancient Indian Epic Mahabharata mentions that Bheeshma (one main character) was 'IchchhaMarani' (He who will die of his own will only); and he did die a dignified Death, only when he desired. This is the admired-example from the Great Indian Epic, and people must be given that type of choice.

(4). India has had a great & honourable tradition of 'Dignified Death'. When people grow old, some of them feel that they have fulfilled the purpose of their life, and can contribute nothing new to the Society. So, they, of their own free will, fast (stop eating) and stop drinking water and any liquids, and pass on from this world after some days. Such an endeavor, in Hindu Tradition, is called 'Prayopveshan'; and in the Jain Tradition (Jain - An Indian sect), it is called 'Santhara'.

(There could be some minor differences between the two; but, for our discussion here, we may treat them as similar).

[Here in our discussion, let us call this as 'Category-D' ].

Some notable examples of Prayopaveshan are, Veer Savarkar (a great Indian freedom-fighter) & and Acharya Vinoba Bhave (a great Indian philosopher of the modern Era, and a deciple of Mahatma Gandhi).

Similarly there are examples of Santhara from the Jains, particularly Jain Munis (Muni - An ascetic).

Moreover, it not just 'eminent-persons' who choose 'Prayopaveshan' or 'Santhara'. Even some ordinary persons, jansadharan (common men), choose the path of Prayopaveshan or Santhara. In India, this is an age-old & honuorable Tradition for a Dignified Death.

It may be noted that 'Category-D' is the highest level among all four categories.

This type of Death is at the highest Moral Level. The Society too treats persons having carried out Santhara or Prayopaveshan, as persons at a very high Moral pedestal.

Are we going to deny this age-old and honourable practice, and deny persons of very-high moral levels their 'IchchhaMaran' (willful dignified Death)?

This type of Honourable & Dignified Death too must be legalized.

There appeared a news-item that the Jain Community has filed a Petition in the Supreme Court of India, that Santhara Death must be treated as legal, (and, not treated as suicide). If that be the case, Prayopaveshan must also be treated at par with Santhara, and treated as Legal. (Perhaps some NGO might make such a [public-interest-application).

Be that as it may, the fact remains that such willful choosing of Death is of the highest Moral Order. And, it ought to be recognized as such. (just as 'Seppuku' had been in medieval Japan).

(5). Suicide is, however, outside the purview of the present discussion. In any case, it is illegal.

[Author's Note of March 2018 - The Govt. of India has informed the Supreme Court that it is planning to bring in a law, whereby suicide will no more be treated as criminal act].

Conclusion:

Above, we have discussed FOUR categories of persons, in connection with 'Honourable Death', ('DayaMaran' or 'IchchhaMaran').

None of the Four categories is Immoral; and all FOUR categories ought to be made legal.

In any event, 'Passive-Euthanasia' must be made legal immediately. We owe that much to our suffering-fellow-citizens.

[Author's Note of March 2018 - As mentioned at the beginning of this article, the Supreme Court of India has now declared this to be legal, subject to some conditions].

I appeal to every citizen on this, me being not only an educated, serious-thinking, 'Buddhiwadi' (rationally thinking) Senior-Citizen, but also one who has watched the demise of a very close family member, my wife Dr. Snehalata, from very close quarters. Even during the last-phases of terminal-illness caused by cancer, she, a social scientist, was intellectually discussing Euthanasia & 'IchchaMaran' with the Oncologist Doctor. She whole-hearted supported 'Ichchha-Maran' (willfully embracing an honourable & dignified Death). So that makes two of us supporting 'Ichchha-Maran'.