#idk i’ll sort it out
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genuinely, being manic has completely fucked my brain up, even as i’m mostly recovered. feelings, i’m doubting, not even stuff i knew was probably fake, like actual feelings i thought very much to be true.
#loving someone but you can’t be sure if that love is genuine anymore#seriously doubting if any of it was real#i need confirmation and i know there’s a way to get it but i’m scared#of what i don’t fully know#of it not actually being real?#of having been delusional and thinking it was?#i don’t even know what to think anymore#idk i’m gonna get my head out of my ass at some point#but i’m also thinking about things in my life#and about whether this isn’t something that should be in my life#if it’s better to just move on?#but i also need closure but to get closure i have to do what i keep procrastinating doing bc i’m scared#do you see my problem?#idk i’ll sort it out#just going over everything in my life is causing me to reexamine *everything*#it’s like marie kondo but for people and habits#it sucks basically#but also is needed for my own mental wellbeing#so i need to decide what to do about this problem and actually strive to solve it because it’s not gonna get solved by itself unfortunately#i would just like to be relieved of this situation please and thank you
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I tried really hard to think of a caption but idk it is eluding me
#old man yaoi sort of I mean they’re old enough#k/s#tos spirk#spirk fanart#star trek tos#my art#the voyage home#I was thinking so hard about kirk and spock like movie era and how I crave more art of them !!!#like there is art out there but it is difficult to find also it’s never as intimate as I want#I want their shirts off idk#I’ll make another drawing where they’re both shirtless eventually
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More post part 3 concept stuff (read tags for more info)
#hol horse has joined the party#jjba#jjba part 3#stardust crusaders#hol horse#jean pierre polnareff#mohammed avdol#I thought it’d be a fun switch up if they went somewhere cold and wintery#also still deciding if I like Avdol’s hairstyle or not lol#it’s a lot of work to draw and I’m hoping it’s not too out there but idk#jojos bizarre adventure#anyway I want Hol horse to join the club for some reason#they have some sort of common goal to get to#I also want it to take place soon after part 3 in France during the winter#giving Polnareff a chance to come back home since this version didn’t go back and waited with Avdol as he recovered#maybe I’m adding too many beads?#idk if people like the beads I’ll find a work around to keep them in his hair but less prominent maybe#whatever this is the point of concept stuff I guess lol#jjba au#post part 3#everybody lives
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This is what being down bad does to a man I do another Hans Gruber drawing but meticulously paint the scene redraw
Click for better quality
Check my pinned post to see how you can help the people of Palestine
#die hard#die hard hans gruber#die hard 1988#hans gruber#alan rickman#mcart#okay normally I wouldn’t tag the actor of the character I’m drawing cause I don’t see a point to it?? but I see in the hans gruber#tag that people usually tag that as well and yknow I want more people to see this piece specifically cause I’m very proud of it#so I’ll jingle the keys in the alan rickman tag so people can see this jingle jingle jingle jangle#I guess speaking about him it’s absolutely crazy to have learned this was his first feature film role#I know he had theater acting roles before so it’s not like it was his first ever but theater and camera acting#have plenty of differences that need to be considered and idk as someone who has taken a few acting courses both in theater and camera#it’s just really fun to see I geek out about that sort of stuff it makes me appreciate the craft#also him being a theater actor before hand makes his choices in the movie make so much sense lol he’s got that stage presence as Hans#anyway uh I’m very proud of this one like I’m so tempted to actually share this with people I know irl cause I’ve come so far with my art
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so tired of tudor dramas where there are no women… and even when there are women… there aren’t…ykwim?
#im occasionally on the cusp of rewatching the tudors and then im just like… naur#it’s very annoying that we see men ‘networking’ and not women even tho we know that they were#like the ladies of each queen being basically decorative . it is annoying to me that henry has friends#more or less#we never see his sister interact with other women in a substantial way#we never see anne and mary boleyn with their mother#that he has these long talks with and his wives… well. don’t . you only get the shape of that (even Margaret pole and coa seemed like …#idk. affectionate but weirdly distant )#we only really see mary interact substantially with Chapuys#and pretty much surface-level with other women#and wolf hall/TmATL it’s the same thing . it feels like women are there only when the story cannot AVOID mentioning them.#and those are the two longest series about the Tudors . and one is prestige and one is not but it’s where you have the most ~material ~#some of these tags are out of order . im typing on my phone#you can all . sort them out if you made it this far lol#i just need to reread my fav Tudor books instead … I think ….#there are like . three-five novels i reread in rotation#also honestly I’ll say it : I think that dearth explains PGreg’s popularity#the way she writes women is um… horrible#but they are very prominent . they’re the main characters#in a way they’re just not in other Tudor stuff#(& also in wolf hall/TmATL they are only there in relation to crom…#how is this in any way a substantial improvement#from the precedent of that series which is all the women#only as they are in relation to hviii?#like all that was ‘subverted’ was picking a different man to centre the story#where all the women are just satelliting him)
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Modern / College AU Labru Snippets:
- Laios and Kabru meet as classmates who get paired together for a project, and although they initially clash at first, through the assignment they find themselves clicking in the most unexpected ways.
- After the project is finished, they still keep texting each other. Laios sends Kabru a photo of an opossum that was lurking right outside his bedroom window late one night. Kabru later texts him a picture of a fluffy stray cat that won’t leave him alone every time he walks up to his apartment. He initially acts as if he doesn’t like the cat and that it’s bothering him by always following him home, but Laios constantly enthuses over text about how he would love to meet this cat someday. Suddenly Kabru is sneaking this cat little pets and treats in hopes it’ll stick around for when Laios may eventually (hopefully) come over. Before he knows it, Kabru has formed a soft spot for the stray.
- Both of their friend groups mesh and the two find themselves wondering each day when they’ll get to see each other next. They instantly attach in group settings without a second thought, and everyone notices the spark they have going on but them. Laios is excited in a ‘wow this is the coolest, nicest, most interesting friend I’ve ever had!’ type of way, while Kabru recognizes & reconciles with the fact that he’s crushing pretty early on.
- Toward the end of the semester, Marcille hosts a house party, and there’s actually a moment where Kabru sits with Chilchuck on the rooftop ?? It’s an extremely rare occasion and odd for them to ever be alone together, but Kabru had wondered out onto the second floor balcony for some fresh air + a moment to think, and spotted Chilchuck smoking a joint by himself atop the roof shackles to the right of him, just beyond the balcony.
- They watch Laios and a few others down below do something stupid and party related, like chug a drink or eat something fast in one go. It’s mostly quiet between the two up top, save for the few awkward hellos in acknowledgment when Kabru first shows up. Until Chilchuck, of all people, decides to finally break the silence between them. 
“I’d just be straight up with him at this point, if I were you.”
Kabru jumps a little at the unexpected suggestion, glancing toward him with wary eyes. He does his absolute best in every interaction to present himself in a very particular way. Had he been that easy to read all this time?
“Straight with who?” Kabru questions as innocently as he could pretend with a smile, brushing a curl behind his ear.
Chilchuck takes a drag and blows smoke up toward the sky, slightly annoyed but not trying to bite this time around. “Laios. It looks like you want something so bad, but you’re holding back or something. He’s not going to pick up on anything unless you spell it out for him, y’know.”
Kabru covers one of his ears as he feels them burn, looking down into the plastic cup barely filled with beer in his hands. “It’s not— I don’t…” he starts, but feels dumb finishing any semblance of denial. Surprising himself, he caves in, swirling the drink. “It’s just… I don’t want to lose this. His friendship has become pretty important to me.”
“Does Laios come across as someone who would make things awkward?” Chilchuck asks, snuffing out the nub of his joint into the roof and turning to Kabru. Kabru furrows his brow at him.
“Not typically, but I somehow can never figure him out when it comes to things I’ve never tried with him before. Risks with him are truly unpredictable.”
He hums in disagreement, watching the last of the smoke escape the joint before it completely fizzles out. “Eh, I don’t know. Think about it like this. If he doesn’t reciprocate the feelings, do you think he’d have trouble still being friends with you? Laios, being the way that he is, I mean.”
Kabru thinks about it for a minute. Laios really was different from other friends he’d made throughout his life. He didn’t waste time putting up fronts just to save face, and he can’t really pick up on things being awkward for either party. If Kabru confessed and got denied, it would hurt himself mostly, but it wouldn’t rapidly change the air between them. Laios probably wouldn’t want to stop being friends or need time apart just out of awkwardness, which is what one would normally expect after rejection. “I think I get what you mean. I suppose not.”
Chilchuck put the burnt out nub into his pocket to save for a final short smoke later. “I don’t know exactly what all goes on in that guy’s head, but being an observer, I’d think you’d notice by now when he’s actually looking back. I guess it’s easier as a third party.”
Kabru takes a sip of his beer as he carefully considers Chilchuck’s words and watches Laios down below. In that moment, Laios happens to look up and catch Kabru’s gaze, immediately smiling and giving him a friendly wave. It feels like it’s just between them, save for the audience member right next to Kabru witnessing the whole thing. Chilchuck sighs and stands up, dusting his pants off.
“You guys do you. I barely understand my own feelings and how to go about them these days, but if you already know yours so confidently, then there shouldn’t be much stopping you from sharing them. Bottling up seems a lot more painful. It’s hard to watch, anyway.” He stretches before crawling down from the roof shackles onto the balcony. He offers a small wave as he passes by to head inside. Kabru turns to watch him go, saying a soft “Thanks Chilchuck,” as he disappears into a hallway, presumably toward the stairs.
When Kabru turns back around and glances down, Laios is in fact still looking up at him. His face heats up a bit, unsure what to say or do in response, and then Laios is grinning brightly and motioning for him to come and join them. Kabru nods, downs the last of his drink, and then hurries inside, heart pounding in his chest.
#i don’t know if i’ll ever properly make this a fic but i have so many random lil scenes like this just written and sitting around…#felt the urge to share#i think this chilchuck is softer than what you’d expect but#i kind of like to imagine he’s going through his own lil romance moment at the time and so he’s has a tad bit of it already on his mind#can’t really figure out himself tho#he also would certainly find the whole dancing around whether they like each other irritating when the solution is so clear#chilchuck is like ‘just kiss already and be done with it watching you run in circles around the obvious is giving me a migraine#i don’t think kabru and chilchuck like each other v much but i also feel like there’s a tad bit of potential for them to have some sort of#or come to a sort of neutral standing and i wanted to write that#blegh#idk how to format these excerpts sorry if this post is awkward lmao#dungeon meshi#labru#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi#laios touden#kabru of utaya#laios x kabru#chilchuck tims#marcille donato#fanfic#writing#cat rambles#modern au#college au
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redesigning my sillies again kfugjk
(They are still prone to change, I’m not sure if I want to keep some of their personality traits)
#my ocs#AGAIN NOT CUPHEAD OCS#my art#Estelle#dipper#cameo#I might even change their names idk#girlie I needa sort out their lore too#I’ll probably polish it soon or smth#speakin of#I haven’t even shared it with tumblr yet#might do that later
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So, I’m working on it…
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e8a773eb199a4128405e7d00d4486711/e3b1602b4a096fae-76/s540x810/e8fee3a25183ce1dc464a93681ddf78127dda022.jpg)
Guys…ngl this oneshot is taking too much effort for me to write (I’ve been feeling unwell lately ngl) so unfortunately there won’t be a “Love Me Like A Rockstar” update this week because I really want to finish up this story. I’m sorry and I hope you understand! 🫶🏻
#just bvidzsoo things#i love the plot I have created for this story and i really want to finish it as fast as possible#so i won’t be updating anything else this week…as in the greek series and lmlar…so i hope you can understand#i feel bad for not updating lmlar but i just feel so stressed and tired and like…just mentally exhausted#and i don’t want to lose my creative streak bcz i absolutely love writing and writing with ateez has brought out the best in me#but idk…the stress i felt when i was close to finishing university had returned really BADLY probably bcz i applied to a master’s degree#and idk i just…i need a break but i also need to find a job and life feels a little too much atm#but don’t worry…my interview for the master’s degree is tomorrow so i’ll bounce back once this is over and i’ll be sort of stress free lol#ateez#ateez seonghwa#park seonghwa#seonghwa x reader
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Calling it now, we’re gonna have a parody of [S] Game Over but with Jane and her Crocker death laser as the batterwitch with her laser beams.
#this isn’t a fully fleshed out theory and idk if I’ll get around to actually posting my thoughts from the GC I was in but wanted to put#this out here as a sort of calling dibs on being right about my prediction#after all a good theory crafter sometimes just has to throw darts at a board and see what actually sticks and lands#I’ll write out a more well thought out post later but this is just a prediction#James Roach did say we were getting a flash soon#it’s either this or Dirk finalizing the players for his homebrew SBURB game#and/or kickstarting it; check out my other homestuck theories for info on that#but yeahhhh I’ll make a more detailed post later#if I remember to actually get around to it#mine#op#homestuck spoilers#homestuck beyond canon#hsbc#homestuck
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Thinking about how for about a month my favorite part of going to the movies was seeing the trailer for queer. like yea girl i think you might like that movie a little bit. wait while we’re here i have a question
#i have been seeing ppl using a site i forget the name of. might use that? IDK.#also don’t know when this will be because i’m having company starting friday so it might be like. 2 or 3 weeks from now#anyway let me go check my letterboxd to see when the first time i saw the trailer was#it was heretic. which i saw for work sort of but then came home and was like Guys. So There’s This Movie Trailer …#and the OTHER thing is that i’ve been trying to get myself to read the novel for years now. like#i remember the first time i saw it and was like oh? and id seen multiple (ugly) copies for months and kept being like#ok i’ll buy it when i find a cover i like. and i eventually bought a copy in london#and i’m trying to remember if that was because i knew the movie was coming out or not. anyway the uk edition is slightly less ugly#than the usa one. but funnily enough on the night i read it i passed by a bookstore with my friends and there was a used cover in the window#that was the least ugly one i’d seen. and so i was telling my friends all about this but the bookstore was CLOSED.#and then they went back later and got it for me for my birthday :’) really sweet and special#okay. storytime finished 🧍♂️
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Aka Riders Lullaby from Centaurworld
Lay your head on my chest so I can sing you a lullaby and gently run my fingers through your hair until you slowly drift off to sleep 🥰🫶
#I got some microphones on a super good deal and I wanted to try it out 🥰#also I’m finishing centaurworld and I love it so so so so much#I got an ask recently#and I think it might have been the sweetest ask I’ve received#and that’s saying something#cause all of you guys are sweeties!!!#but basically they were complimenting my voice#and if you don’t know voice compliments are probably top tier for me#obviously love personality compliments and all that but voice compliments hit me fucking deep#I’m going to reply to that ask soon#just whenever I get a super sweet ask that BLOWS me away I need a little bit to recover and find the right words to say!#anywhoodedoodly#I was crying while I was driving and singing my heart out#and remembered my microphones!!#was gonna do some sort of heavy ballad but I’m too much of a perfectionist right now#gotta start small#idk if I’ll keep this up or I’ll remake it#cause I always feel like I could do better ya know??#me#mine#rosicheeks#singing
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Larchpaw
She/her, 8 moons, cis molly
#Larchpaw#beetleclan#apprentice#clangen#warrior cats oc#kiri’s clangen#warrior#kiri's clangen#Wow i wonder who this mini Berrymurk is. Surely it’s not his one and only daughter#surely him and his daughter don’t have nearly identical sprites save for Larch having a slightly yellower tint and an apprentice pose#But to be so forreal the name Larch is actually really fitting becuase of that becuase larch trees are a conifer that isn’t an evergreen.#their needles turn yellow and fall off in the fall which fits because she’s just a little more yellow than her dad#I also made the pointy parts of her fur point down instead of up like the rest of her family just to show she doesn’t look all that much-#-like her grandma Gravelshock#She’s technically half-clan and her other parent is unknown so I like to think her other parent had droopier fur (though I have no one in-#-particular planned)#Anyways she’s sort of friends/rivals with Swallowpaw (who I’m planning on having as the starting POV for beetleclan) so expect to see and-#-read a lot of her whenever I get to the actual story part#I actually love Larch a lot she’s very cute I’m tempted to do her POV at least sometimes#but Idk#Also I’M FUCKING BACK!!!#can’t say how regular posts will be considering the computer I use to add the border afterwords is Wigging The Fuck Out Constantly and I-#-can barely use it but I’ve got one more cat queued after this at least so there’s that!#I can’t wait to get to the actual story I’m gonna do it in fic form with some illustrations scattered throughout instead of a comic (unless#-I feel like a specific moons needs a comic)#and I think I’ll put in on my AO3 which’ll be fun so yeah. I’m excited to finally get through all these designs hopefully over this summer#and I’m done with hs now so I can continue working on it during this next year because I don’t plan on doing college immediately!! So yeah-#-I’ve got a lot of time on my hands now and I’m excited to get back to Projects!!#I’m thinking of doing commissions on my main too (including warriors/clangen designs) so look out for that if you’re interested
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spanish class is really making me rethink my pronouns huh. craaaazy things, crazy
#liek. idk. what if i added the he back………… what if i did#i like él in spanish. so. why not in english#my only hesitance is that last time i used he/they almost nobody used the they#and it felt like people just. Ignored the nonbinary of it all#urgh whatevar. whatevar!!#i’ll sort it out
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#idk#if the consensus is yes then i’ll post the announcement on monday#i didn’t wanna do it this week bc we’re all out of sorts
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do you ponder the manner of things? In the dark
the dark, the dark, the dark, the dark
#DHORT FUSE DOODLE!!!! BYIPPEE!!!!1!1!!1!1!!1!!1!1!!1!1!!1!1!#The colours look weird but I’m posting it anyway#if I don’t post stupid things I’ll die actually#tf2#art#short fuse#sort of#idk it’s just them in a drawing. Symbolism failing me here#It was supposed to be all symbolic but we’ll see how that turns out whoops#team fortress 2#tf2 fabart#tf2 demonan#tf2 engineer#because it isn’t a Quotidianish post without demoman tf2.#quotidianish
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ohhh tomorrow is halloween.
#I didn’t even noticed. It’s been rough out here.#I thinkkk I’ll post the bunny blog post today then. Yeah.#And maybe open up trick or treating?? It was fun last year. Idk yet. I’d want to stick to a theme of some sort#Also I missed rat anniversary and am sad abt it sorry. I really wanted to do something for it
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