#where all the women are just satelliting him)

[fideidefenswhore]

so tired of tudor dramas where there are no women… and even when there are women… there aren’t…ykwim?

[alisonsfics]

old college flame

pairing: tony dinozzo x ex-girlfriend!reader

summary: you and tony had dated in college. you were the only serious girlfriend he ever had. after going your separate ways, you got a job working at the FBI, which means you hadn’t seen tony since. until NCIS and the FBI have to collaborate on a case.

word count: 2.3k

“Agent Fornell, is NCIS aware that we are assisting them on this case? You’ve told me how Agent Gibbs doesn’t like other agencies to step on his toes.” You asked your boss.

You both were currently in the elevator, riding up to the NCIS squad room. You had never worked with NCIS in all your years at the agency, and you wanted to know what to expect.

“Yes, Agent Gibbs invited us on to this case.” He informed you.

The elevator doors dinged, and you both stepped out. You followed after Fornell, since he knew his way around NCIS headquarters. “Agent Gibbs, pleasure to work with you again.” Your boss said, walking into a room with four desks.

Gibbs stood up and shook Fornell’s hand. “You must be Agent L/N. Tobias told be about you. You’ve been at the FBI for six years now?” He asked. You nodded, politely, and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, sir.” You said, simply.

Gibbs gestured behind you. “That’s Special Agent McGee, and this is Ziva David.” He explained. They both came over and shook your hand.

“I read your paper about using satellite images during investigations. I thought it was really interesting.” You told McGee. He was flattered. “I’m actually working on that now trying to analyze images around our crime scene. I can show you, if you like. I could use a second opinion.” He offered.

You quickly nodded and agreed. “Here, let me borrow my colleague’s chair. He won’t mind, he has a thing for beautiful women.” McGee said, wheeling the chair from the empty desk over to his own desk.

You took a seat, and he showed you the screen. “I’ve been looking at this radius between the two crimes because we think the suspect lives in the area.” He explained, pointing at the circles on the map.

“We have an unsolved case from a few years ago that I think might be related.” You said, pulling the file out of your bag and showing it to him.

“It matches the other two crimes, and it took place right around here.” You said, gesturing towards the map.

McGee glanced over the file before typing in the third location. “That narrows our search area down by a lot.” He said, glancing over at Gibbs.

“Up on the screen, McGee,” Gibbs said, gesturing at the tv. From behind you, you heard the elevator doors ding.

“Probie, where’s my chair?” You heard a loud voice ask. The voice sounded familiar to you, but you weren’t sure why.

You turned around to see who was talking. “It’s being borrowed by Agent—” McGee started to say, as you turned around and made eye contact with Tony.

“Y/N,” Tony said, almost at a whisper. He was standing completely still, just staring. You were also frozen in your seat.

“You two know each other?” Gibbs asked, curious as to why you both were just staring at each other.

“College,” you both said at the same time.

You and Tony had dated for two years in college. He was your first real love, and you were his. You broke up because you were moving to different cities. You both preferred having a mutual breakup instead of your relationship deteriorating from doing long distance and ending with a messy breakup.

Gibbs and Fornell both snapped to get you both out of your trances.

“McGee, you and Agent L/N go work with Abby on this map. Tony and Ziva start looking into the cold case.” Gibbs delegated.

You stood up from your seat and walked over to Tony. “Hi,” you said, giving him a soft smile. You handed him the file, and he returned the smile. “It’s nice to see you,” he responded, left just as speechless as you were.

“Right this way,” McGee said, showing you to the elevator. You followed after him, looking back over your shoulder and making eye contact with Tony.

You and McGee stepped into the elevator. “So, you know Tony?” McGee asked you. You nodded your head. “Yeah, you could say that. Or at least I used to,” you told him.

“You two haven’t seen each other since college?” McGee asked, curiously. He had never seen Tony as shaken up as he was when he saw you.

“Yeah, I think so,” you said, as though you didn’t specifically remember the last time you saw Tony.

It was when you brought Tony to the airport. He was leaving for DC. You both knew it’d be the last time you saw each other. It was the only time you’d seen Tony cry. You had a Hallmark-movie emotional kiss.

And you hadn’t seen him since.

You and McGee stepped out of the elevator and walked down a hallway. You both walked into Abby’s lab. Then, you noticed Abby.

She was typing on her computer, facing away from you both. “Hi, Abby.” McGee said as you both entered the room.

“McGee, did you hear? Ziva called me. Something about Tony acting weird around some girl. I was thinking secret ex-girlfriend, but that doesn’t really feel like Tony—” Abby started rambling, before McGee interrupted.

“Abby,” McGee said, loudly. He gave you a look of sympathy. Abby turned around, and her eyes went wide.

“Abby, meet Agent L/N from the FBI,” McGee introduced you.

Abby had a terrified look in her eyes. “See, you might think I was talking about you, but I was actually talking about someone else.” She lied, trying to smooth things over.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I get it,” you assured her. She looked relieved. The three of you discussed the map for a few minutes, and then McGee got a phone call.

“Boss wants me upstairs,” He said, leaving the lab.

“Hey, I’m sorry about earlier.” Abby apologized again. You gave her a polite smile. “You really don’t have to worry about it. Also, I thought you’d want to know that you were right.” You told her.

Her eyebrows furrowed, and you could tell from her expression that she was confused. “Wait, about what?” She asked you.

“Tony,” you said, simply.

She still looked confused for another minute, and then her eyes lit up. “You’re Tony’s ex-girlfriend? You two actually dated?” Abby asked, excitedly.

You could tell how shocked she was. She ran and grabbed two chairs for you both to sit on. You took a seat, giggling at her excitement.

“So, Tony actually had a girlfriend? Like a serious girlfriend?” She asked you. You nodded your head. “Two years serious,” you replied.

Abby was shocked. She’d never heard Tony talk about a girlfriend. There wasn’t even many girls that he took on second dates. He didn’t even try to seriously date anyone after you.

What you both had was special. Tony knew he’d never be able to replicate that, so he didn’t see a point in trying. That is what led to the long string of one night stands.

Abby’s expression shifted when she saw your disappointment. She was excited to learn Tony had a girlfriend, but reminiscing about your relationship just gave you regrets.

“When you said having a secret ex-girlfriend didn’t sound like Tony, what did you mean?” You asked Abby, curiously. She didn’t know what to say.

“Obviously, I didn’t know Tony in college, but now, I’ve haven’t seen him date anyone serious. It’s a lot of first dates that don’t go anywhere. What you both had must have been really special.” She said, giving you a soft smile.

You sighed, thinking back to your relationship. It was special. You both had the perfect fit, until you didn’t.

“I should probably get back upstairs. I wouldn’t say Fornell is the most patient boss.” You said, standing up from your seat. Abby giggled to herself. “Sounds like Gibbs,” she joked.

“What sounds like Gibbs?” You heard Gibbs as he walked into the room.

“I’m gonna head back upstairs.” You said, quickly walking out of the room. You waited for the elevator. When it dinged, you went to step inside.

You bumped straight into Tony, who was trying to get out of the elevator. You both froze. “Hi, again,” you said, softly.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said, scooting to the side to let you get in the elevator.

“I was just getting out.” He said, stepping into the hallway. You watched him as the doors started to close, when he quickly hopped inside the elevator.

He quickly flipped the off switch, turning the lights darker and bringing the elevator to a halt.

“Sorry, I just really needed to talk to you.” He said, turning to face you. You smiled at him, knowing exactly how he felt.

“So you’re working with the FBI now?” He asked, not knowing how to start this conversation. You nodded, giving him an awkward smile.

“Have you, y’know, been doing good?” You asked. Even after all these years, you still cared about him. “Yeah, I’m doing better. What about you? You ever get married?” He asked, remembering how you had talked about your perfect wedding.

You let out half of a laugh. “Nope, not married. Not even close,” you said, honestly. He nodded along, and you knew he felt the same way.

“Trouble finding the right guy?” He asked. He knew he sounded jealous, but you were his first love.

“Nope, I had the right guy. Just the wrong time,” you said, taking a step closer to him. He looked down at the floor. “I’m sorry if I ever hurt you. We tried to stop things from ending messily, but I don’t think it mattered. Having to say goodbye to the person you love the most is always messy.” He said, slowly grabbing one of your hands.

He was nervous, waiting for your permission. You gave him a smile and interlaced your fingers with his.

“You never did anything wrong, Tony. You were perfect. I know we both have regrets about everything, at least I do.” You told him, honestly.

He could hear your hurt in your voice. He wished there was a way to go back and undo all the pain you both had been through.

“Trust me, you are not the only one with regrets. I am always wondering what would have happened if I fought harder for us. Maybe we would have survived long distance, or maybe I should’ve just taken the jump and moved to be with you.” He rambled.

He had never told anyone any of this. He felt so relieved to get it off his chest. “I guess we’ll never know.” You said. You were realizing for the first time that you both were living in the same city now.

Tony went to say something, but stopped himself. “Actually, nevermind. That’s stupid,” he said, dropping your hand and backing up from you. He leaned against the elevator railing, worrying he’d just messed everything up.

He went to flip the on switch, but you grabbed his hand, stopping him. “It’s not stupid. What were you going to say?” You asked him.

He took a deep breath, knowing he could blow everything up with what he was about to say.

“I was just going to say that I never stopped loving you.” He confessed, looking into your eyes with a look that made you melt.

You cupped his face and kissed him. He quickly wrapped his arms around your waist, kissing you back. He spun you around, so your back was pressed up against the wall.

Your hands found their way back into his hair, like they had so many times before. It all still felt natural. He pulled you closer to him. He had missed you for years, and now he felt like he couldn’t breath without you.

He ran his tongue along your bottom lip, causing you to smirk. “God, I have missed you so much,” Tony whispered, pulling out of the kiss.

“Are we giving us a second chance?” You asked him. A giant smile spread on his face. “I have dreamed about having a second chance with you for years.” He said, giving you a quick peck on the cheek.

Suddenly, Tony’s phone started ringing.

“Yeah, Abby, what’s up?” He asked. You heard Abby cheering loudly on the other side. Tony flinched, pulling the phone away from his ear.

“You got the girl back! You both are so cute together.” You heard her say, causing Tony’s cheeks to turn pink.

“Wait a minute. Abby are you spying through the security camera?” He asked, turning to face the camera. You heard the phone beep as she hung up.

You giggled to yourself. “Sounds like Abby is a fan.” You joked. He nodded, knowing what you said was an understatement. “She didn’t know it was you but she always knew I was hung up on someone.” He said, pulling you into a hug.

“We should probably get back before Gibbs and Fornell get suspicious.” You mumbled, into his shirt. You both pulled out of the hug, and he flipped the on switch.

You walked back into the squad room. You both were anticipating that Abby would have told the rest of the team already, but no one seemed to react.

“Boss is on his way up, he wants to talk theories.” McGee informed you both. You both nodded.

Tony grabbed your hand, which caught McGee and Ziva’s attention. They gave each other a quick look from across the room. They were both wondering what was happening.

Tony pulled his chair out for you, letting you sit down. Then, he leaned against the side of his desk.

“So?” McGee asked, looking at Tony.

Tony chuckled at his colleagues’ intrigue and curiosity.

“You may be seeing much more of Agent L/N” Tony said, causing both McGee and Ziva to smile. “We’re happy for you both,” Ziva said, smiling.

McGee walked over to you. “You’ll be needing this. I’m going to need to hear all about how Tony was in college.” McGee said, handing you his card with his phone number.

“We should all get drinks tonight. I’m sure you have lots of stories about Tony.” Ziva suggested. Tony knew he was going to be in for a long night.

taglist: @laurakirsten0502 @miraclesoflove @nathaliabakes @millipop18 @azghedaheda @shyinadarkplace @vanteguccir @missroro @guacam011y @sw33t-cupid @ice-dtae @leyannrae @sia2raw @nyx2021 @just-a-littlebit-of-everything @shyconversationalbookworm @shadowhuntyi @visenyaverse @ruzannetheseahorse @superdeath @wandaswifeyforlifey @spookyqueen @mcuswhore @bookwormchick91 @princess-evans-addict @n3ssm0nique @peakascum @cjand10 @namsey1987 @multitargaryen @stephv213 @warriormirkwood @one-sweet-gubler @narliesstuff @bibissparkles @happygirl-0408

Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist for all my imagines or for a specific character/fandom!!

[inkbomber]

okay my spoilery [movie3 and my fic] chaos theory [not that one] + godhood scribbling on the wall of my cell [largely incoherent] rambling below the cut

CHAOS THEORY THOUGHTS — CHAOS ENERGY — FRIENDSHIP, LOVE, UNDERSTANDING ABLE TO TRIGGER CHAOS CONTROL MORE EASILY

THAT’S ALSO WHY HE NEEDED THE SATELLITE SHIT, ORIGINALLY THIS WAS A PURSUIT OF CHAOS CONTROL AS PERFECT ENERGY SOURCE

ROBOTNIK CAN’T SAY I LOVE YOU, BECAUSE WHAT IF HE’S LYING? WHAT IF HE SAYS IT, AND THEIR LINK DOESN’T HUM? IS HE EVEN CAPABLE OF LOVE? WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR STONE TO BE THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVES HIM?

OH MY GOD.

ROBOTNIK NEEDS TO MAKE MUSHROOM COFFEE AND LICK THE QUILL TO GET HIS MIND WORKING FAST ENOUGH TO LOOP ON IT’S OWN, LIKE SONIC HAD TO BREAK A KIND OF SPEED BARRIER WHERE HIS PHYSICAL POINT IN SPACE TIME WAS IN TWO PLACES AT ONCE - HE’S NOT CRAZY HE’S NOT FUCKING CRAZY FOR ANY OF HIS SCIENTIFIC DECISIONS HE IS IN FACT THE SMARTEST MAN IN THE FUCKING WORLD HOLY SHIT

THIS GUY WAS ABOUT TO BREAK RING TECHNOLOGY WIDE OPEN, THIS IS A MAN WHO NEEDED AN EMPIRE’S WORTH OF RESOURCES TO OPEN HUMANITY UP TO IT’S FULL POTENTIAL, DUTY IS LOVE IS POWER THEY REVERBERATE OFF EACH OTHER IN A WAY THAT ACTIVELY SPARKS ROBOTNIK’S ENTIRE EXISTENCE HIS TIMELINE PLUCKED HIS TIME IN EMERALD MODE A LITERAL INCARNATION OF [THE UNIVERSE] HE IS ALL OF HIM IN THESE MOMENTS

IT IS HIS [literal] GOD COMPLEX THAT MAKES HIM CRAZY.

STRONG EMOTION REVERBERATING THROUGH PEOPLE WHO ARE COSMICALLY LINKED CAUSES A FEEDBACK LOOP ON THE BEINGS THAT ARE CONNECTED, TRIGGERING [CHAOS POWER] USAGE

BEINGS THAT ARE ENTANGLED ARE CONSIDERED THE SAME BEING BY THE UNIVERSE, HENCE WHY SONIC AND SHADOW CAN GO GODMODE AT THE SAME TIME, AND WHY ROBOTNIK’S LIGHTENING DOESN’T INJURE STONE

ROBOTNIK YELLING AT STONE [stone seeking to understand him, as always] HAD SIMILAR EFFECT, WHICH IS WHY THE QUILL STARTED GLOWING IN STONE’S POCKET AT THAT MOMENT OH MY GOD

THE JOLT FROM THE QUILL SPEEDS ROBOTNIK’S MIND UP ENOUGH TO LOOP THAT FIRST TIME AS WELL BECAUSE HE AND STONE KISS AND MAKEUP AT THAT POINT, [STRONG EMOTION] HE’S SO FUCKING READY [THEY’RE BOTH EXCITED, THIS IS THE THING THEY’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS, IT’S UNBELIEVABLE THAT IT WAS DROPPED IN THEIR LAP LIKE THIS] HOLY SHIT

ROBOTNIK HAS BEEN FUCKING HIGH AS A KITE FOR MONTHS, SELF-ANALYZING SIX FUCKING WAYS FROM SUNDAY, AND COMING UP WITH INSANE NEW CHAOS THEORY STUFF, INCLUDING HIS FOCUSING, PURPOSEFULLY, ON HIS FEELINGS [LOVE, IDIOT] FOR STONE

AFTERALL, ATOMS THAT ARE ENTANGLED AGREE ON THEIR STATE, THEY THOUGHT ABOUT EACH OTHER EVERY DAY, ROBOTNIK DREAMED OF STONE EVERY NIGHT. I WONDER. IF. THEY EVER DREAMED TOGETHER? DID THEY HIT JUST THE RIGHT COSMIC CHORD, AND THE QUILL GLOWS IN HIS GRASP AS HE SLEEPS? FUCK.

STONE GETS KNOCKED OUT AND ROBOTNIK HAS TO RELY ON WRATH TO GET HIM THROUGH THE FIGHT

FUCK! SHADOW USING HIS LOVE FOR MARIA TO EXERT CHAOS CONTROL - I SWEAR THIS SHIT IS LITERALLY CANON OH MY GOD

THAT’S THE POWER OF LOVE BABY

7 EMERALDS, 7 SINS, EVERY BAD OR GROSS IMPULSE

ROBOTNIK REQUIRING BLOOD SACRIFICE LMAO, WONDERING HOW MUCH OF ALCHEMY IS ACTUALLY APPLICABLE, SCIENTISTS HAVEN’T ALWAYS BEEN CALLED SCIENTIST [fucked as any church] THEY WERE PHILOSOPHERS, MEDICINE WOMEN, WITCHES, SAINTS - half beloved, half reviled

THE EMERALD IS A CONTROLLER

HAVING LOVE IN YOUR HEART WILL SAVE YOU FROM THE OTHERWISE CATACLYSMIC EXPERIENCE OF BEING A HUMAN BEING

CHAOS USERS BEING LITERAL INCARNATIONS OF THE UNIVERSE’S WILL, ROBOTNIK FORCING HIMSELF INTO THAT POSITION THROUGH HIS LOVE FOR STONE AND ABUSE OF THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD, HE IS THE BEST, HE IS THE SMARTEST, HE WILL SURVIVE THE BLAST THROUGH HIS STRONG EMOTION, MANIPULATING HIS OWN LOVE OF STONE INTO A PURE SORT OF CONTROL, SHADOW SURVIVES THE SAME WAY

ORGANIC CHAOS USERS ARE SOMEHOW PROHIBITED FROM KNOWING THE NATURE OF GOLDEN GODHOOD

STONE REFINES THE BADNIKS ENERGY SOURCE, COPIES SONIC’S QUILL STRUCTURE, COLOR OF ENERGY GETS CLOSER TO BLUE THE CLOSER HE GETS [I LOVE YOU PURPLE BOY]

THE SONIC UNIVERSE IS A LOVING UNIVERSE

[bengiyo]

Hi, i'm a newish bl drama watcher from thailand that just started watching thai bls. i'm a bit ashamed to say that for a long time as a gay man living here i've been avoiding bl shows like the plague cuz of both the fandom reputation and of misconception from my yaoi era which i leave far behind. i'm just want to ask how did you got into watching thai bls and what were you preconception before you got into it.

Welcome to the Tumblr side of BL fandom. I'd actually like to also hear more of your experience with yaoi and BL as a gay person growing up in Thailand if you're willing to share.

For me, I'm a Black American from the Gulf Coast (the South). I grew up in a Catholic city and spent my entire adolescence in the closet. Despite having a sense of who I was as early as 8 years old, I kept most of that to myself. Because I didn't talk about it much with people, I found out most information about queer media and queerness from the internet.

I entered BL via queer cinema. I think the first explicitly gay character that I remember from TV was Marco from Degrassi: The Next Generation. There were probably others, and definitely more subtle expressions, but when I think about the oldest gay character I remember and connect to, it's Marco. I don't like counting things like shipping Shawn and Corey on Boy Meets World or Tai and Matt on Digimon for oldest gay characters. Sailor Moon can't even count because we got a censored version of it in America.

I got access to satellite television away from observing eyes around age 16 and started watching content on Logo back when they aired gay content regularly. I watched basically whatever I could late at night. It's how I saw movies like Get Real (1998), Beautiful Thing (1996), and Bent (1997). It's also how I saw Queer as Folk (2000-2005) Noah's Arc (2005-06).

After hitting adulthood I mostly got lost in video games and standard American TV for a while, but I did basically show up to any Gay Event in TV. I appreciate that Stef and Lena from The Fosters (2013-2018) were some of the only TV lesbians to survive the horror of 2016.

I watched a bunch of movies in this time, many of which appear on the Queer Cinema Syllabus I made for a hypothetical Westerner new to BL and queer cinema, which @wen-kexing-apologist has decided to try to complete.

I got into Thai BL in 2018 accidentally. I started seeing gifsets of Kongpob telling Arthit he'll make him his wife passing around Tumblr and was basically like, "Right, what's all this then?"

I had watched a few Thai gay films, mostly notably Love of Siam (2007), Bangkok Love Story (2007), How to Win at Checkers Every Time (2015), and The Blue Hour (2015), but this was the first time I was seeing a long series made available so easily from any Asian country.

From there I got into Make It Right (2016-17) and Love Sick the series (2014). Once I realized that yaoi had moved beyond manga and a few anime adaptations, I went looking for a lot more. I basically haven't left since I started in about 2016 with SOTUS.

There's my basic entry into the genre. I don't think I was as worried about fandom and worries at the time because so much of being a fan of queer cinema was a mostly-private experience for me for so long. I didn't realize that BL fans active in the space would predominantly be women or queers figuring themselves out. It took a while to adjust to that, and also to adjust my expectations of the kinds of queer stories BL distributors were willing to fund.

That being said, I tend to agree with @absolutebl that BL has a useful role in normalization for non-queer audiences who encounter it. I like cheering BL when it does things I think work really well, and also deriding it when I think it does things that are offensive to help nudge the genre and offer my perspective as a gay man.

I like the place we're at right now where there's way too much to watch for any person with other hobbies and responsibilities because it means that people can pick and choose what's to their tastes.

More often than not, I'm probably most-invested in something airing from Japan because of my melancholy nature, but there's so much variety these days that it's okay if you don't like everything. I certainly don't!

I'm glad you joined us on Tumblr and look forward to your thoughts!

[yuri-is-online]

My brain is whirring in the blender right now so here are the things I think twst characters would find interesting/horrifying

Atom bombs. Why would they need atom bombs? Wars were either fought with magic or swords if lilias backstory is standard war procedure. And in endless halloween, leona tells a (fake) story about a terrorist group on a yaht party or something that attacked with a magic cube. Also that whole moment with Oppenheimer where he didn't know if igniting that bomb would set off a chain reaction that would ignite all the other bombs and basically destroy the world. AND HE STILL FUCKING DID IT.

Gun. Same reasons as the atom bombs.

French revolution and the reign of terror. What do you mean 40,000 were executed and over 300,000 locked up in the time span if a few years? Why did the "french" switch between so many governments so fast? Who the hell is napoleon?

Russian revolution and Anastasia. that revolution was MESSY. But imagine telling leona or someone about how everyone thought that princess Anastasia and her brother escaped execution cause they couldn't find their bodies with the rest of the royal family. So all these middle aged women just started coming out being like "I am Anastasia", and one of these women was eventually accepted as Anastasia. Until they found out that thr royal family were submerge in vats of acid after they were killed, and because children's bones aren't quite solid, the just. Melted in the acid.

The whole mystery of those villages getting up one day and dancing themselves to death and we still don't know why.

Medieval torture devices. Like the crowd cage or when you get covered in honey and sent away on a boat to be eaten alive by bugs (jamil throws up)

The black plauge. Just. The black plauge.

Early Industrial revolution working conditions. I think even azul would get uncomfortable with those.

Mansu Musa going on tour and giving away so much gold that he collapsed entire economies.

The cold War. "Yeah so the US and the USSR were in a war-not-war because of paranoia of nuclear atom bombs but they couldn't actually go to war because if they actually went to war that would just be the end of the world so they just had a massive dick messering contest. Oh yeah! That's actually why we got the space race!"

The space race. ("The fucking moon in the sky!" "Yes azul, the moon in the sky. And Mars. And there are satellites that literally went to the cold cold edge of our solar system" "...why are you guys insane?")

American prohibition laws and the outlawing of alcohol that everyone hated so much that the government legalized alcohol again and now we have this thing called moonshine.

Mexican revolution and the solid century where their presidents just kept getting assassinated.

The greatest night in pop "we are the world". Just as a treat for the pop music club.

The entire age of exploration honestly. "What do you mean half your world didn't know the other half of the world was there until a few centuries ago?" "Oh you're gonna shit yourself when you find out what Europeans did next"

What the Europeans did next.

The world wars. Lilia has a fucking stroke while listening to it. But some of it was funny! Not really but yk! A polish bear loading an artillery Canon, an unsinkable cat, that British guy that carried a bow and arrow and played bag pipes when the nazis found him only to be the most unkillable yet unserious guy ever, a US naval captain that literally FLOODED HALF HIS SHIP on D-Day just to tilt that bitch back so they could hit the Germans better, and the US just converting a spare ship into a massive ice cream machine is pretty fucking hilarious.

The coups of the ancient past. I don't really remember who but I think this Indian (?) Prince literally threw his brother out a window, dragged him back upstairs, only to throw him out again for good measure is fucking hilarious.

The mono Lisa wasn't famous until this Guy™ stole it from a museum. The museum employs didn't even realize it was gone until someone asked where it went 💀

The way we name our countries tbh. Most of them translate to some ancient language (Spain translates to "rabbits" and Columbia is "dove"), but twst really has countries like. "Scolding Sands ✨️ and Queendom of Roses ✨️. So our country names are probably really weird to them. Especially the full country names. Do you know Hong Kongs official name? It's long as shit.

The first chainsaw was invented by two socttish doctors in the early 1800s to help with childbirth

I have many more historically rambling I could go on but this shit is getting long.

If anyone at any point wants to ramble about history they are very welcome to do so in my literal dms and not just my ask box. I love history and I love talking about it!!!

I think out of all of the things you listed the atom bomb, the space race, and the Cold War would probably be the what I think the various twst boys would find most interesting. Even in the history of our own world those things were extremely unusual, the sheer scale of something like a world war is really hard to grasp and I doubt Twisted Wonderland has had a similar event. I think the concept of such a thing would really scare the cast, though I imagine Idia, Leona, and Lilia would be grimly impressed at just how creative people can be when it comes to destroying each other. Magic isn't required to make a mess of things, sure they already knew that but oh wow. Now they're really thinking about it.

Now you know who would want to talk about all of these things? Professor Trein! He'd be really interested in learning anything and everything Yuu can remember about the history of their world. As an educator it allows him better insight into his student, and as a lover of history he gets to learn a lot of new things no one else knows.

[slunch]

“Hey, remember that weirdo you used to sometimes get shifts with? Otis?”

“Huh?” said Nora, casually. She was back to guarding, having been cautiously re-hired after framing Oren as a Dragon Ridge spy and having several other people vouch for her. She was on watch for a satellite building by the palace and on extreme probation - one slip-up, one drink or errant spell cast on the job and she’d be on the street again. Despite everything, Nora was very attached to her job and the luxuries it afforded her, like money for fried food and beer. She had at least a passing familiarity with most of the other guards in Thorn Valley, and was paired today with Emmy.

Emmy liked to gossip. Nora did not.

“Oh yeah, Oren. Whatever happened to him?” Nora said, after a moment spent pretending to recollect.

“Well, they found some Dragon Ridge money on him and took him in as a spy. Put him in that spooky room below the palace with all the truth charms on it. He apparently didn’t know anything and couldn’t answer their questions, and then started just blaming random people.”

“So what happened?”

“They assumed he had even stronger counter-charms, so they just executed him.”

“Great.”

“I think they just wanted someone to pin it on, honestly. I mean, come on. A dragon makes a pass over the city at night and we just let it happen? No way. We gotta kill someone.”

“I guess that’s true,” said Nora.

“The way I see it,” said Emmy, “is that the real Dragon Ridge spy is still out there somewhere. I hear they can change themselves to look like anyone they want.”

“Really,” said Nora, scratching under her armor.

“Oh yes. And they used to be part of the empire, and they have farms deep underground where they grow their food, and in Dragon Ridge, women can have two husbands.”

“What? Come off it,” said Nora. “That’s not true.”

Emmy nodded vigorously. “I heard it from my anonymous source.”

“Starting to think maybe you’re the spy here,” said Nora.

Emmy laughed a little too hard. “It’s just chitchat, Nora, come on. I’m sure you’ve heard a few things about Dragon Ridge too.”

“Yeah, I heard they mint their coins in pure platinum,” Nora said. “And all the men are pompous ingrates.”

“Two husbands,” said Emmy wistfully. “What would you do if you had that? Would you make them fight each other?”

“Dunno,” Nora said. She imagined two Eskers the way she’d seen him last, drawing frantic circles on the ground and pacing around howling and lobbing spells at each other. Maybe his royal court over there was a bit like that. “That sounds like too much work.”

“I’d make them fight each other,” said Emmy. “And then hug afterwards.”

[inchidentally]

please tell me your parasocial theory about the lando effect on his teammates i'll shrivel up like a raisin without it actually

god. I'm gonna try and keep this coherent and not TOO weird. obv this is completely without knowing any of these people personally and it's just me theorizing for fun without any actual private knowledge etc etc !

(I've had to edit the hell out of this bc I don't want to like outright offend anyone since this isn't meant to be super serious at all but I'm mortified at how long it is anyway lol)

so we all know that Lando has always had the whole main character fairytale prince/princess quality that started from taking so incredibly long to finally grow up right up to his version of grown up vacillating between devastating fuckboy to coquette fetish sweetheart. and we all know that Lando is fully aware of how he looks and how he's perceived bc of visible social media presence and interactions and also just being around mirrors. he's stunning and charismatic because he makes no effort to be and there is an aura of destiny and magic around him with whatever he does. but he's always seemed like someone who needs to know what exactly he means to his close friends, mainly guys. in a way that's almost like 'yeah you have a girlfriend but does she accept that I'm ✧Me✧ and not just a Normal Blokey Friend?' or 'will your friends accept that I'm ✧Me✧ or will I have to put up a front?'

the reason Lando's so magnetic to people is because he's a ✧Me✧ but also because he's a ✧Me✧ while being a guy which guys aren't usually secure enough to be ✧Me✧. a lot of guys dress up or play up acting like one but Lando's authentically a ✧Me✧ and not to be classed with guys who are Normal Bloke or Normal Friend. they are very very rare.

to expand on this further and because I have insomnia let's take a walk through our perceptions and occasional facts of fandom observation over the years...

I feel like somewhere in the process of his first few years of F1 Lando went from awkward paddock baby who was probably a fall risk to realizing how incredibly adorable he still was even as a pro racing driver. he was literally everybody's baby (and honestly still kinda is). he was thrown into F1 so young it's not surprising.

I am a diehard carlando fan here so please understand that I'm switching to speaking in real life and not fandom terms (and I prefer fandom terms lol) real life Carlos is 100% hetero to me. my family and friend group are sort of UN levels of diverse and what seems like fruityness in non-American or sometimes non-British men is completely standard for straight dudes outside those countries. straight euro guys in particular flirt and get physical with their bros one way and then have an entirely different type of flirting and physicality with women they're attracted to. I don't think this is the case with Carlos at all but a LOT of these euro dudes can even compartmentalize so well that they're actually homophobic while fully kissing and cuddling with their friends. like I say Carlos doesn't seem at all homophobic but there have definitely been tiny, subtle moments with other drivers or during social media challenges where he's been like 'okay that's far enough for me'. which imo is him drawing boundaries and is totally fair.

AND YET WITH LANDO? Carlos has had a verrrrry hard time classifying Lando up until recently I think. for a while after signing to McLaren it was clear he viewed himself as protector and big brother/uncle to a very skittish and weird child/toddler/pet. then when Lando started to build his F1 personality around Carlos and was able to do some give and take with him, Carlos started to see Lando as a fun little satellite buddy and we got some of their silliest most adorable moments (the squawk laughing and the horseplay etc). but Carlos very much still viewed himself as the superior and Lando was just happy to have someone patient and considerate of him rather than a serious competitor.

to me Carlos and everyone else in F1 shifted how he saw Lando around the time of Daniel showing up on the scene (and Carlos' shock at how upset Lando was when he went to Ferrari). Lando got a LOT more confidence on and off the track from here on and he absolutely saw Daniel as a competitor and gave as good as he got off track too (in a fun way). he was never a satellite of Daniel's like he was with Carlos. he also physically started to grow and appreciate his own beauty and sexuality (not as in his identity but his effect on others sexually). he started dressing more consciously and mixing flirting with cuteness to win people over and play the media. youtuber/streamer Lando began to merge with F1 paddock darling Lando into something new between having Carlos and Daniel as teammates.

I can just tell you right now that a dude like Carlos would have ABsolutely no idea how to classify what Lando was becoming at that point in terms of their friendship. Lando was too pretty and still too small to be considered a Dude and apart from on the race track Lando doesn't have the natural douche-ness of Dudes. but Lando also had an active sex life and women were already crazy for him so he wasn't a child anymore either. since F1 drivers literally for bodily safety reasons can only identify as straight Carlos couldn't even class Lando as a rainbow guy.

personally I think that's when Carlos elevated Lando to Hot Bitch/Great Dude status. Lando can still take roughhousing and stupid jokes but he's also got this intense genderfluid glow that poor straight man brain have a tough time with. so Lando's this still confusing hybrid but one that Carlos accepts and loves.

in such a short time Lando went from notice me senpai over Carlos as a teenager on twitter to showing off how they exclusively hang out outside race weekends and he can breeze into the Ferrari garage like he owns the place. one teammate down :)

obv this whole time Lando has had Max F in his life and I think they've known for a long time that they're the sort of best friends who are also common law married. their gfs have always seemed really good natured about it. (**this will be relevant when Oscar comes up later) before Carlos, Max was very clearly the stronger public personality Lando had latched onto as a kid and stayed that way until about 2020/2021. since then I feel like Max is watching Lando in a kind of proud wiping away a tear and claiming that it's raining way. he was down before he probably knew it :)

honestly I'm not a big fan of Daniel Ricciardo for specific reasons and I've chosen to just edit out what I'd written about him and Lando since I truly don't want to piss anyone off over this pointless post lol. it's enough to say that for all Daniel's cockiness making gay jokes etc I get a lot of joy from the fact that Lando has ended up combining Lewis Hamilton-gender norms are for losers attitude with his own genuine rising stature as a future WDC and basically blew Daniel out of the water in every way. they're absolutely still good buddies but damn, Hot Bitch Lando had Daniel stuttering and staring with how little effort it took for Lando to outshine him, on and off the track. Daniel is usually the one in charge of his F1 relationships but Lando got him fucked. up. and begging.

another teammate down :)

do I even need to go into detail about Oscar . we know so incredibly little about Oscar's real personality yet we fully know that he's been replying to Lando's tweets and watching Lando's content since boarding school in the UK. you can take a tour of just the McLaren youtube content from the 2023 unboxing onward and watch Oscar go from dazed and stumbling over himself to not look a tool in front of Lando to Prema-era humor Oscar being able to banter with Lando.

here's what's different with the Lando/Oscar friendship tho. Oscar came in weirdly grown up for his age bc he'd left home so young and went from boarding school to being set up in his own flat by Mahk Wibbah. he already had a long term girlfriend and after waiting a year for his driver's seat he'd made the extremely ballsy move to publicly decide his own fate in F1. Lando was probably expecting to have a typical rookie on his hands but instead he got someone who's already more emotionally mature and responsible than Lando's other two teammates combined. then Oscar is so incredibly talented that he's pushed Lando to such a massive new level that P3 and P2 and (currently) 4th in the WDC are already losing a bit of their shine. Lando wants the whole thing and in a way he never has up til now. Oscar is a not insignificant part of that.

Lando suddenly has an equal! their age difference is negligible and their competitive level is the same. the fact that Oscar's racing mentality is so vastly different to Lando's is perfect because there'll never be a Lewis/Nico situation. Lando needs to stay within his own head to a certain degree for race weekends and Oscar looks forward to his next opportunity as soon as he's done with one. Oscar even has a much more laid back Max F style sense of humor which means Lando doesn't have to play up and perform as much as he used to for social media shit.

then there was the awful start to the season followed by Lando definitely being shook up by how hot Oscar came in as a rookie. AND YET Oscar has always gone out of his way to celebrate Lando's successes literally no matter how his own performance went. he's never once opted to peace out until needed for media or pictures (or straight up left) after a DNF or finishing poorly. there's this moment from the Dutch GP that breaks my idiot fandom brain bc Lando had just qualified second and Oscar (Q8) is shaking his hand and congratulating him and. idk it feels like one of those 'oh!' moments where Lando realizes Oscar is rooting for him even when they're competing and it's not a one-off nice gesture or bare minimum effort

(which honestly that bare minimum is totally fair in racing and I don't judge drivers who need to lick their wounds, it can take a lot to come out of that adrenaline mindset and be happy for your teammate who is also your competitor).

and that's the thing, Oscar came in already won over by Lando. he simply expects them both to do their jobs well and whatever Lando has to offer outside that is cool with him because Lando is ✧Lando✧. if Lando wants to bring him more into his non-F1 life at some point that would probably be great but Oscar's also got his own stable non-F1 life so it's fine either way! if Lando has other commitments and Oscar needs to step up more with the team then that's fine! I know I've been superlative with this post but like, Lando never needed/needs to do anything at all for Oscar to like him and accept him and root for him. Oscar clearly doesn't feel the need to prove anything to Lando or force the relationship. everyone else is dazzled by Lando or watched him/helped him grow up but Oscar just really Finds Lando Neat and Wants to Be Around Him. he seems to like being bossed around by Lando but he also likes when Lando is being really cool and when Lando is quiet and moody he just waits until Lando wants to be around people again. he's like a cat that proves their devotion to you by remaining in proximity rather than meowing or shoving their face in yours.

so like, part of me feels like Lando saw his new teammate having this whole life(**girlfriend?? but does she accept me as ✧Me✧?) already before even meeting Lando and had no idea how they'd develop a relationship. both Carlos and Daniel had (and still have) very bachelor style lives where a relationship with the current teammate is top priority and everyone else in their life has to deal. work comes first, then work friends, then everything else until the babies are made.

but then Oscar just shows up all content with his grown up life and smiles at Lando all the time and doesn't take anything for granted and respects Lando's space within F1 and McLaren and never complains even about doing things he doesn't like and Lando's like oh! I've already got this one down for the count and I didn't even do anything! nice :)

anyway thank you for asking and I hope this was remotely worth reading aakfgsjgfjgafagla

[dr-futbol-blog]

The Hive, Pt. 14

We do not know how long they have spent on the hive exactly but given that McKay had time to go through a whole withdrawal and we saw either a sunrise or a sunset on Atlantis, it must be more than a day by now, possibly more than one. And while we have seen Sheppard rendered unconscious twice, we have not seen him sleep. In fact, let us just put it out there: he has been standing most of the time that he has been on the hive what with the trouble he has had sitting recently. But we now find him huddled up against the wall, still near the doorway that he is hoping would miraculously open for him just like the door of the holding cell had opened for him on the Ancient warship Aurora, trying to catch some Z's. Sheppard, we recall, was among very few people that did not have trouble sleeping while they were waiting for the wraith to attack, his time in the military probably having prepared him for getting shut-eye in any condition. He seems to be dozing off when suddenly and out of the blue he gets company.

Neera: For warmth?

This is where the young woman seems to begin her seduction of Sheppard in earnest. Because Sheppard has withdrawn himself into a corner and has not been engaging with her, she shifts gears and snuggles up to him with the excuse that she is cold. This is a method used by women in subtle attempts to get the man to make the first move, projecting innocence and vulnerability made all the more attractive by the fact that she does not know what she is doing him, or so she has calculated. Men are simple creatures, after all.

Sheppard seems confused at first, likely having been mostly asleep. But as soon as he realizes what she is doing, he frowns. He is made uncomfortable by her, yes, but it could also be that what she says to him is triggering. Both Sheppard and McKay hate the cold, and as McKay told us and Sheppard in Instinct (S02E07), he especially hates the damp cold. McKay had been exiled to Siberia, Sheppard had exiled himself not only in the remotest but also coldest place of his world, and while the Antarctic had been the place where they had met and Sheppard's life had changed forever, neither of them particularly loved the cold. Because getting warm is the excuse that she gives him, Sheppard might be reminded about things that McKay had said just before they had been captured about the tropical beach planet, what he had said about hating the damp cold earlier, and now that Sheppard had nothing but time to think and to remember, he might have come to realize what McKay had actually been saying that he had not been hearing then. McKay wanted to not be cold. McKay wanted to not be cold with him. McKay wanted him to give him warmth, to keep him warm. Although he may have spent months in the Antarctic, Sheppard had never felt as cold as he did right now.

Sheppard: OK. How's that, better? Neera: Yes. Thanks.

Sheppard puts his arm around her and seems very sad. He looks like his heart is broken where she cannot see it. This too probably reminds him of something, and that something might be the fact that it has been a minute since he has had McKay pressed up against him like this, that he has actually been able to just be with McKay in his arms.

It seems like the two of them had been both living and sleeping together before McKay left for the Ancient satellite platform in The Siege (S01E19) until which time he had slept with his hands securely around McKay, and that Sheppard had moved back to his old quarters following their return from Earth in The Intruder (S02E02). It is not until Irresistible (S03E03) that they begin sharing quarters again (and more on that later), so while it seems like they have had more than a few "accidents," Sheppard turning McKay away from his door in Trinity (S02E06) being the exception and not the rule, they have not had the opportunity to sleep together in the sense of actually spending the night while asleep, for a long time by now. Sheppard asks her if she is feeling better, if she is feeling comfortable, but he is made mightily uncomfortable by this because he wants it so badly, he needs it so badly. Only, not from her. She is just reminding him of what he has been denied, what he has denied himself, and just now he cannot even remember why.

Neera: How long will they keep us in here? Sheppard: That's a very good question. Neera: If we're able to escape, where will I go? Sheppard: Wherever you want.

This may be the moment that Sheppard starts doubting her because he clearly starts to think about the motivations the wraith even have for keeping them in a holding cell. There must be some reason that the wraith have not put him into a cocoon as they apparently did Ford and may have done to Ronon and Teyla, for all he knows. While her intention was again to illicit sympathy from him, she may have made a mistake in making him think about the answer to the question.

She further tries to make him feel sorry for her by reminding him of the fact that her world has been destroyed and she has nowhere to go, implying that she would be willing to do anything if he took her in because she would be so thankful. The only thing she has to give is her body and that is what she is offering him, they both know it. Sheppard gives her a noncommittal answer. Also, let us note again the fact that she is the one asking him questions, he has shown no interest whatsoever in her, and his only question to her was about the knife.

Neera: Can I go with you to your world? Sheppard: Sure. Why not? I'm sure we can find a spare room.

Because he did not volunteer to take her with, she takes it up a notch, looking up at him with her big vulnerable eyes and asks out right if she can come with him. The unspoken offer from her is that she would do anything to make that happen, and not only does that not work on Sheppard, it makes him feel disgusted. They have offered sanctuary to people on Atlantis just because they needed it, like Ronon and Eldon from Condemned (S02E05). While they have good reasons to protect Atlantis and keep its survival a secret, Sheppard feels such personal responsibility for the wraith being out doing mischief that he would save "everyone in the damn galaxy" if he could, like he had told Teyla in Letters from Pegasus (S01E17). If the girl was genuinely in distress, they would take her in. But the insinuation makes him feel dirty, and he lets her know that they have space but she is not moving in with him.

Sheppard making reference to the ease of finding a spare room may be yet another indication that he is thinking about McKay here, about how much he misses what they had before. I have discussed previouly how Sheppard's quarters seem to be in a fairly deserted part of Atlantis, on one of the promontories where it seems like the Athosians had been housed before they moved out into the mainland. Because their people had been suspicious of the Athosians, he had chosen his (original) quarters near them out of solidarity and now that they were gone, it seems like only himself and Teyla lived in that part of the city anymore. This may find further confirmation in how in The Prodigal (S05E14), Sheppard and McKay seem to be way out in the boonies playing with their remote controlled cars and not once but twice Teyla and her baby just happen to interrupt them.

Trying to get the baby to sleep, Teyla had obviously not taken him far from her quarters. And Sheppard and McKay have no business using the part of the city to play where a baby in sleeping because there is all of the rest of Atlantis to do that in--unless it is also where Sheppard lives. Ergo, Sheppard and Teyla live in a rather remote part of the city where there is a lot of empty space, many vacant quarters waiting for inhabitants. And it makes him feel lonely. All that empty space around him when those quarters that he and McKay had found together in Before I Sleep (S01E15) were no longer available for him made him feel alone. And so he makes a reference to them having spare rooms. They have a lot of spare rooms. There is an endless span of empty rooms between him and McKay.

Neera: I'd like that. What is it like, your world? Sheppard: It's nice. Comfortable, good climate.

She begins her interrogation, trying to get information out of him about where he comes from. While Sheppard is not intending on giving her any actual information, his answer here may betray the fact that he thinks of Atlantis as his home. Earth can hardly be described as comfortable, and the planet has more than one climate, not all of which are that pleasant. Also, given the fact that Sheppard had spent the last six months of his life on Earth in the Antarctic, "good climate" is probably not the very first descriptor to come in mind. But it would fit the planet that Atlantis is on. Besides that one once in a lifetime storm, the climate of the planet seems to be consistently good, the sun is always shining and the temperature is comfortable.

And further, Atlantis has many conveniences that make it comfortable particularly for him with the Ancient gene, doors opening for him and lights going on and off with the wave of a hand, a mental component to their technology. For Sheppard, Atlantis is very comfortable indeed. For Sheppard, Atlantis is home. It is not cold and hard and damp like the cell they are in now. And tropical beach planets aside, let us recall that McKay actually wanted to be back in his lab instead of the field earlier, this too being one of the things that the two of them share, thinking of Atlantis as home. And it is not just the place that is home, it is the people. It is each other.

Neera: Tell me what it looks like. Sheppard: Like every other world, I suppose: trees, water, mountains, Starbucks on every corner. Neera: What is it called?

Here Sheppard is describing something different than before. While the description is fairly general, it is also particular in the sense that it does not describe the Earth but he is clearly thinking of some specific region of Earth. We do not know where Sheppard is from, and even later at his father's funeral in Outcast (S04E15), he tells Ronon that where they were was just one of the houses his family owned. Likely they had homes in many different regions and surely some of them might have mountains, water and trees. But he might be thinking about something even more specific.

We do now know where Sheppard and McKay spent the three months they were on Earth but "trees, water, mountains, Starbucks on every corner" might describe both Colorado, especially the area around Cheyenne Mountain, and Canada. For sure Tim Hortons is more popular in Canada, but given the proximity of Seattle and Vancouver, it was one of the first places outside of the US where the chain spread. And if someone had, say, a special person with a known love of coffee that might need up to eleven cups a day and one had been spending time in their neck of the woods, getting them take-away from Starbucks to get a rise out of them would only be the patriotic thing to do. Starbucks are ubiquitous, the combination of trees, water and mountains is more specific. Also, the mention of Starbucks is once more a reference that is not going to mean anything to her but that definitely would have gotten a reaction out of McKay. He is not talking to her so much as talking to himself, to keep himself sane in the situation.

But note also the fact that Sheppard gives the preamble "like every other world" here. Let us recall that in Childhood's End (S01E06), McKay tells the team that "apparently there's a remarkable similarity between worlds that support life. It makes sense really." He is basing this on the "mission reports of Colonel Samantha Carter" in particular, and while that part may be something that Sheppard is not glad to remember (but is also not able to forget), he also seems to have a remarkable retention for things McKay says. So the fact that he gives this description may be based on what McKay had told him, knowing that it does not really give anything away. A world is a world is world.

Also, if they had been in contact with the SGC and Carter recently, as suggested at the beginning of Lost Boys (S02E10), it would make it that much more easy for Sheppard to have come up with this description. It is the fact that she asks for the name of his world that really makes the klaxon ring in his mind. That had been information that the wraith had forced out of Colonel Sumner before he was forced to take him out. The wraith knew about the Earth, and confessing to that might reveal that he was from Atlantis and that Atlantis had not been destroyed. He was not about to let that slip. He was not stupid. And he was not thinking with his dick, what ever the woman might have been trying to do here.

Sheppard: Uh, do you mind if we pick this up after we get some sleep? Neera: Yes, of course.

And so Sheppard pretends like he wants to sleep for a while even though he does not seem at all tired any more. As she snuggles up closer to him we see him look into the distance, seeming disturbed by the situation. He blinks once, and here it may even be to blink away tears that had suddenly welled up in his eyes because he looks so goddamn sad. And it is not the woman making him sad. He is not made sad by the fact that he realized what she is and had hoped so much that she was genuine; he had been wary of her from the get-go. His sadness has nothing to do with her, she had just reminded him. Having a warm body pressed up against him had reminded him. Of Earth, of Atlantis, of the bed he had shared with McKay. He was beginning to wonder if he would ever be able to see any of them again.

Neera: What is it? Sheppard: I don't know. Must have just dropped out of hyperspace.

After some time has passed the whole ship seems to shake as it comes to a sudden stop, and we see that Sheppard has been awake, not able to relax and sleep next to someone he now knows to be working for the wraith. The way the camera pans from behind a corner to the two of them at the nook of the cell is interesting because it creates an illusion of intimacy. Like there are two lovers huddled up together, taking comfort in each other. Like we are able to peer in on a private moment. Only that is not what this is. We see that Sheppard had dropped his hand from around her somewhere along the way. We also see how he still seems to smart as he gets up from the floor.

Wraith: Take him!

Sheppard helps her get up just like Ronon had helped him up earlier because for some reason Sheppard wanted to be standing up again. The wraith come into the cell to grab him before he even realizes what is happening and he is snatched away from her. The wraith gives her a look which is our cue to realizing something is not right here.

Queen: Shall we talk now? Sheppard: About what? Queen: You are stubborn. Sheppard: Yes, I am.

And so Sheppard is brought back before the queen, to stand on the space vulva made to look even more like a vulva by the shadows that fall on it from above, creating a frame of pubic hair around it. Yes, they also look like bars symbolizing his imprisonment but the shape of the platform is no accident. Let us also note the fact that Sheppard's jacket is smoother now that he had slept against the wall of a cave than it did back when he most definitely was sleeping in his clothes on Atlantis at the start of the season, not bothering to undress because he no longer had occasion for it.

The wraith queen makes a theatrical entrance, asking Sheppard if he is willing to talk. Where Sheppard was never going to tell her anything, it is an odd thing to say in light of the fact that Sheppard seemed willing to talk back when the queen had come across something in his mind that had made her hiss at him. Sheppard had wanted to hear her name (only not really). Even here his question makes sense. Yes, let's talk, what do you want to talk about? Only the queen seems to realize that this is defiance on his part, that he is far from having been broken. Let us also note the fact that Sheppard actually turns here, he spins around on her as we come to the surprise twist of the episode. The "prestige" of the story, the payoff. He turns as he turns the tables on her, this is symbolic.

Sheppard: And she's very pretty, by the way. Neera, the girl you planted in the cocoon for us to rescue after you let us escape. The one that was supposed to get information from me. It's never going to happen.

The surprise twist is that Sheppard cannot be seduced by a beautiful young woman. He is unflappable before attractive women. And let us be clear, this is not because he is virtuous like Sir Gawain. We have seen Sheppard do all manner of questionable things, the most recent (although far from the most egregious) is allowing Ford to continue injecting enzyme into Ronon and Teyla just to get McKay off the juice. Sheppard is the protagonist, occasionally he is even a hero, but virtuous he is not. It was not his moral fortitude that allowed him to retain his virtue at the face of an obvious seduction. He admits to her that she is pretty, a pretty little thing. Also, it is not because Sheppard is somehow damaged, that he is unable to open himself up for a woman because he has been hurt before.

What we later learn of his divorce, Sheppard seemed over it and it is likely he hurt her more than she hurt him during the ordeal. It is not because Sheppard is Lorelai, too afraid of getting hurt again that allowed him to retain his honour. And while it is most certainly because he is in love with someone else, that someone else is not Elizabeth Weir. Later, when Sheppard (and the others) return to Atlantis, she is excited to see him and his reaction is basically "Good to be back!" And then, later on, he gets actually genuinely upset when McKay does not give him as warm a welcome that he had clearly been hoping for. He is visibly upset that McKay's reaction is not "Thank God you're alive, I was so worried!" because "Why aren't you dead?" just does not do it for him with McKay.

So yes, Sheppard is not saved by his moral rectitude, he is not saved because he is afraid to love again, and he is not saved because he has a girl waiting for him back home. Sheppard is saved because he cannot be seduced by women, and this is not even because he simply does not find women attractive. It is because he is taken. His heart is taken. His mind is constantly with someone that is not with him here, and the bond that they have cannot be broken by doe eyes and red cheeks. Sheppard tells her that it is never going to work with such certainty that it can only be backed up by that cliché of all clichés, the power of love.

That is what carried him through here. That is what saved him. While it is never spelled out, that is also probably what kept the queen from being able to probe his mind in the first place. His thoughts are with another and they are not hers to take. It was McKay he was trying to protect, to keep her from getting at when she was trying to find out where he had gotten the dart. And like. "A woman is never going to seduce John Sheppard" is literally the climax of this episode. They did not have to do this. No one made them take this route. That is an actual message they wanted to get out to the audience.

Continued in Pt. 15

[killingthecringe]

For the prompt thing how about 135, or 243, or 388? You pick which ever gets you inspired.

243. “Oh my God! You’re in love with her!”

"Shut up, Rouge." He hisses, blowing past his roommate with a grunt. Despite his best attempt, she fans a wing out to block his path.

“Oh no, we are going to talk about this!” “No, we aren't. I have nothing to say on the matter, so leave me alone.” Shadow’s low growl doesn't work on the bat, she’s heard it too many times to believe there is active malice behind it. When her wing remains unmoved, his shoulders drop with a sigh.

“Please, Rouge. I’m tired.”

He doesn't show exhaustion the way most people do. No discoloration forms under his eyes, and as far as she can tell he’s never yawned. But there is weariness in the way he moves, and when he does meet her eyes, she can see how true the statement is.

“Fine. But we talk about this in the morning”

She folds her wing out of the way, and he all but runs to his room, shutting the door behind him. She doesn't mean to pry- but satellite ears aren't something that can just be turned off. The dull thud of him tossing his shoes across the room and the creak of the old bed frame as his weight drops onto it.

To give him his privacy, she turns a trashy reality TV show on, volume on just loud enough for the sounds of his breathing to be covered by the glamorous women throwing wine at each other.

As expected, he keeps his promise.  When she wakes from where she's spent the night on the couch, he’s sat in his chair, reading. His ears twitch towards her, and he looks up, observing her silently as she stretches out her tense muscles. The apartment smells of fresh coffee, and she perks up at the sight of her favourite mug sat with steam rising from it. 

“You can't bribe me with coffee. We’re talking about it.”

Shadow sets his book aside without marking the page, and she gets the odd sense he’d only been holding it to keep his hands occupied.

She takes a sip of the warm drink, letting the heat seep into her as she draws her knees to her chest.

“When?”

Shadow starts bouncing his leg as his arms cross over his chest. “I don't know.”

Her raised eyebrow is met with an unenthusiastic shrug. It's not like he's got a well-developed emotional vocabulary, so she will have to take what he's willing to offer.

“Is it mutual?”

“I don't know.”

“Does she know?”

“No, not that I am aware.”

“You're kind of unobservant.”

“I know.”

Rouge sighs. “I thought she was still in love with him.”

He reacts as if he was hiding a stab wound in the field. Ears pinned back, curling in on himself in a defensive manner, even as he fought to keep his composure. To keep his dignity. To pretend to be unaffected.

“She is,” Rouge said aloud

Silence, with crimson eyes burning a hole into the permanent wrinkle of the rug underneath the coffee table/

Rouge chewed at her lip, dragging her fangs across a split that had just healed. Amy was a really wonderful girl, full of fire and potential and joie de vive. She’d thrown love and care at anyone she’d come across, including those who didn't deserve it - but that never stopped her from doing it again.

A lot of people liked Amy.

A lot of people loved Amy.

But she had tunnel vision in the worst way. No matter how heavy-handed the flirting was, how overt, how direct, Amy never caught on. She just kept chasing the fantasy of having her love reciprocated by Sonic and Sonic only.

Suitor after suitor tried their luck, something the bat noticed when hanging out with Amy a few times. Waiters stumbling over their words, double takes as they were passed in the street. Once even, someone had given her their number scribbled on a napkin, and the oblivious flower had thought it a request for volunteer information.

Rouge has asked, had made clear points - but Amy had always dismissed it as flirting meant for the bat or ‘romantic thinking’.

So Shadow’s subtle affection would be entirely undetectable.

“This is stupid.” Shadow mumbled, crossing his arms in front of him. "I should be better than this.”

The bat huffed. “Better than what? Mortal emotion?” “I shouldn't let her have the effect on me that she does.”

“Well,” another sip from her coffee mug, “I don't think that’s a choice you get to make. Your heart knows what it wants.”

“I should be using my head. She doesn’t want me.”

She watched his fingers dig into his bicep as he crossed his arms - if there was no cotton padding his claws, she has no doubt he would be bleeding. His voice came out soft, unsure. “I don't understand why she wants him when all he does is run, and leave her miserable after.”

Rouge hummed. “Predictability.” With his inquisitive look, she continued. “Amy knows sonic isn't going to love her back on some level, right? But if she keeps chasing him, then at least there are no surprises. No getting caught off guard. No risks. No actual vulnerability.  No growth, no change. No real pain, not like an actual relationship could cause. Just an ever moving goalpost.” Shadow huffed, “Impossible to succeed.” “Impossible to fail.” Rouge finished her coffee, leaning back onto the plush cushions. “She’s as scared of love as she is enamoured.”

The dark hedgehog sighed and ran his hands through his quills. “So what then?”

“That's up to you.” Rouge stood, stretching out. “But asking her to hang out wouldn't be a bad idea. Show her that she doesn't always have to be the one planning everything for everyone all the time.”

Shadow pulled out his phone, typing quickly as Rouge passed by him, patting his shoulder and heading off to take a shower.He was gone when she got out - but he’d left a note on the couch next to his book.

Thanks.

[grandwitchbird]

Like most book readers, I have thoughts on the Witcher games’ adaptive choices.

I probably hate Triss and consequently her role in those games more than average. I’ve got nothing good to say about that choice. It’s the closest I come to agreeing with book purists that the devs fundamentally misunderstood something about these stories.

Amnesia plots are also ridiculous. But I think what we see in 2-3 is active acknowledgment and a sincere attempt to clean up the mess. So not a lot to say there. It creates problems the writers find ways to largely solve so we can get back to Ciri.

I don’t hate the Nilfgaardian choices. We see plenty of what makes Nilfgaard terrible beyond just Emhyr, and that’s important. Emhyr himself is also transparently a bastard and up to no good. He might be the least worst compared to Radovid, but that’s a low bar and still a debatable one. In 2 alone he and his entire network of ghouls were actively destabilizing the North (that was the entire plot), for all intents and purposes holding Yen captive, and exploiting the Witchers. We know about his betrayal of the Scoia’tael in the same way. It’s actively discussed in the game.

A lot of the criticisms of Nilfgaard’s portrayal come down to wanting the games to smack you over the head with a sign that says ‘empire bad’. Well. The empire is bad. We see that it’s bad. They’re not the worst when it comes to their satellite states but that’s only because this is a world full of kingdoms and those are inherently unstable. We open Witcher 3 to a countryside lined with bodies on pikes and hanged from trees. Because of the empire. The bloody fucking baron is their idea of local leadership.

The fact that Nilfgaard has knock on stabilizing effects and doesn’t allow active pogroms is smart. It’s also not ungrounded at all. Rome did build roads that people use to this day. Persia did foster education and stabilize entire regions. Empires can have some knock on ‘positive’ effects. That’s not the same as ‘empire good’. And Nilfgaard is a well-written empire. In the books and in the games. They’re not a mysterious threat come to steal your women and justify the patriotic nonsense of people like Roche. They’re a culturally advanced political entity with concrete values and goals. They’re bad news with the occasional silver lining. And it’s up to you to decide for yourself if the buckets of blood they shed are more tolerable than the buckets of blood Radovid sheds. It’s one of the smartest uses of player indulgence I’ve seen in a game. They let you choose, truly. And it sucks. Because you’re not the hero and you can’t save this world. It’s also balanced and reinforced as a commentary on player agency vs the cynicism of the setting by the fact that you can help Cerys stabilize Skellige. That’s her story. But you can play a supporting role to a net positive outcome.

Ok Emhyr himself. And the empress ending. This Emhyr is one who’s already come face to face with himself. I think that’s clear. He’s still a terror, but Geralt and Yennefer have watched him stand down from his pursuit of Ciri. I think Yennefer’s dubious alliance with him is tenuous and largely works because of the shifting political landscape of the continent. It’s an attempt to bridge between the end of Lady of the Lake and this game in a concrete way (one that nonreaders won’t even notice). I do not like the empress ending. I do like its inclusion in a perverse way. Do I think there’s any universe where Geralt would tell Ciri to hear out the man who made her life a literal hell and only wants to pawn his problems off on her? Of course not. And it’s great because Geralt can say that! If you’ve been paying attention to motivations, Geralt will tell Ciri that Emhyr obviously has plans for her. The only way you get the empress ending is by ignoring every single theme of the game and also all the red flags waving in your face about Emhyr. Over and over this game tells you to listen closely to motivations and to be wary of the powerful. It does smack you over the head with that, particularly if you’re a reader. The bittersweet fairytale framing of that ending should be a red flag in itself. Ciri isn’t going to change these systems from the inside. Emhyr himself is the way he is from existing within these systems. And no I don’t care about the dev’s opinions on it (authors are all dead). In the context of the game, that is a bad ending. And it should be.

I am sympathetic to people who haven’t read the books having to deal with the issues of the political plot. The problem for those players isn’t something as silly as ‘not like book’. Again, you open this game with bodies on pikes. Empire BAD. But Radovid is the literal worst. And we want him dead. And the other alternative is a crime lord who lost his grip on reality for a sec and decided to try to kill us and our bro if we don’t let him just kill said bro in front of us. And that’s all a game-only person knows. This isn’t bad writing* either so much as it’s the casualty of pretty normal dev issues. Like we can see that in game. And this is where I’m sympathetic. The cut threads in the political plot are highly visible. Even people who have no idea who Djikstra is or why the Scoia’tael matter or why Roche is our pal even if he is kind of a cop have spotted those cut threads. It’s very much like the truncated arc for the aldecaldos in cyberpunk 2077. You can see the edges where things had to be trimmed early on just to get the game finished. That’s an issue separate to bad writing. More of a planning and management problem and near inevitable** with games this ambitious. It’s why you don’t see any of those problems in the DLCs with their more contained stories.

And a final note. I’ve been talking about rp for a Geralt who is in character from the novels as a rule. You can make the other choices and a story emerges where he’s either hardened or changed from the books into someone who doesn’t listen. Someone who doesn’t respect all these very competent women or show awareness of motivation. And the outcomes for that are. Not great. Famously they lead to the ending most of the gamer bros got and then cried about for years. They still provide a satisfying narrative that fits that rp. And that’s a feat. It’s good RP value.

*Djikstra, I’d argue isn’t so much written out of character here as he is a bit of a casualty. This plot is banking on you just being more attached to one character or another. Geralt IS out of character because he wouldn’t have gotten involved in the plot at all. There’s a metatextual thing happening where the game gives players what they want (real world-changing choices and a chance to play the regicidal rebellious hero) and then makes a point about it. YMMV. I think it’s funny.

Also, I think the shape of this plot, had cdpr continued to workshop the Scoia’tael side, would have had Djikstra in more of a corner with both Roche/Iorveth as loose ends he had to deal with. But that didn’t happen alas. Project management casualties suck.

**The exceptions are notably Sony projects like god of war and whatever kojima gets up to now. Most devs do not have that kind of stability working for them.

[dindjarinandlysakane]

The Sweetest Taste | Chapter 36 -Home

When Din Djarin meets a beautiful cake seller from Nevarro, do you think he’s just going to stand back and let her suffer at the hands of her abusive boyfriend? After a lifetime of heartache and pain, Lysa Kane realises she’s not on her own any more and finds an unlikely friend in the Mandalorian. And Din Djarin does not like men who treat women like that, not one tiny bit. Friendship/comfort and maybe something more…

Masterlist

Chapter 36 - Home

————

***(This chapter contains NSFW content. 18+)***

It was late by the time Din Djarin set his N-1 Naboo Starfighter down, just twenty feet or so from his small dark cabin, set amongst the lava flats of the Nevarro desert.

Din felt the humidity and heat of the night hit him the moment he jumped down from the ship, a sleeping Grogu nestled sweetly in his arms, where he had been, for practically the entire duration of their journey home.

Chasing down the rogue TIE-fighter had taken a little over a day, with Din’s pulse wave rifle coming in very handy in taking down the ship and its smuggler pilot, leaving them in the capable hands of Bo Katan and the other residents of Mandalore to deal with.

Bo Katan had of course offered him a place to stay for the evening. But she had smiled knowingly as Din had told her he wanted to return to Nevarro promptly, under the obviously-false pretence of ensuring that all was well on the planet he now called home. When the truth of the matter was, all he wanted to do was get home and see Lysa. As if his very life depended on it.

He had been aching for her since he’d left Nevarro just two nights ago. And returning here now, there was only one person on his mind.

Strolling up the steps towards the small house, Din approached the door as it slid open before him.

The cabin was dark, with Din knowing that with the lateness of the hour, Lysa was likely in bed, perhaps asleep.

As he entered into his small home, he made straight for Grogu’s bedroom, noting a fresh and appetising loaf of bread sat upon the dining table, as he passed it.

The door to Grogu’s small sleeper slid open, to reveal his son’s cosy bed, illuminated by the satellite viewport situated above it.

Din placed the still-sleeping Grogu neatly down onto the bed, not bothering with any covers considering the heat, and pressed a button just below the viewport accusing the shutters to slide closed. The room instantly fell into complete darkness. Din hovered for a moment, considering this, before turning and leaving the room.

Back out in the living space, all felt quiet, not a sound being made in the dark-room save for Din’s heart thumping in his chest as he made up his mind on where to go next.

If this had been just a week ago, Din would not have hesitated to remain out here, settling himself on the stiff couch for the night, or perhaps even declining sleep altogether. All to ensure Lysa was not disturbed by him.

But now he wanted to disturb her…and he knew that she would want that too. His mind flitting back to the last words she had said to him before he’d left…

“I need you.”

That was all it had taken for Din to know that she felt as strongly for him as he did for her.

Those three words with so much meaning behind them, the look in her eyes and the way her hand had touched him, filling in the gaps so easily.

And so now, he would no longer linger out here alone, offering her space. Instead he wanted the opposite. To close the gap between them until there was nothing left at all.

And so taking a deep breath, Din placed his hand to the switch, causing the door to his sleeper to side open with a hiss.

Seeing movement, Din blinked as his eyes settled upon the gorgeous figure of Lysa, propping herself up onto her elbows suddenly, her lips parting in a look of surprise at his sudden presence.

Dank Farrik.

She looked utterly mouth-watering. Her long honey-coloured hair, loose and tousled around her shoulders, and her eyes lidded and sultry-looking as she stared back at him.

He noticed at once that she was wearing very little except for a pale white loose blouse, tied low over her breasts, and which seemed to skim down to the very tops of her legs, which were now pressed together, knees hitched up, feet shifting against the sheets below her.

A thin sheen of perspiration seemed to cling to her tanned collarbone now, reflecting against the starlight from the viewport to her left.

To Din she looked like every lustful dream he had ever had all wrapped up in one.

And all that Din Djarin knew at this very moment, was that he wanted her.

------------------------

Lysa pushed herself off of her elbows, coming to sit upright. Staring now at the very familiar figure, standing there in full beskar armour in the doorway to the sleeper.

She had been dozing when she had heard the engines of Din’s ship land outside, and had lay there awake and hopeful. Wondering if the tall Mandalorian would come to see her now…in the quiet of the night.

To anyone else, the sight of a Mandalorian at the end of their bed would have sent fear into the hearts of even the bravest of fellows. But for Lysa there was no worry to be had. No apprehension about what he wanted with her in this late an hour.

Lysa could feel her heart hammering inside her chest, breathing hard, her eyes on him and nothing else.

“I’m glad you're home,” she uttered in a soft voice, feeling her cheeks tinged in the slightest shade of pink as he gazed at her, wolf-like and stoic.

She, all of a sudden, felt quite vulnerable, lying before him in nothing but her single loose undergarment and nothing else.

It had been such a hot night, Lysa was unable to bear anything more, not realising that Din would be back so soon.

“I should take the chair…” murmured Din in a low, husky voice through his modulator, gesturing with his head back towards the living space behind him.

But Lysa gave a small smirk now, lifting her chin slightly.

“This is your bed, Din Djarin, you should take it,” she replied. There was no way after a journey as long as his, she was going to let him sleep out there. She was already a guest in his home, she could easily take the couch if that was what he wanted.

But did he want that?

Lysa felt a pull of nerves in the pit of her stomach.

Had she read the signals wrong?

But Din spoke before she could worry further.

“In that case, would you consider sharing the bed with me again?” he asked in a low, firm voice.

Lysa felt a smile of relief try and tug at her lips, but she played it down, her breath catching in her throat.

She gave a gentle nod.

Din was unmoving for a long moment, his eyes still on her, before she suddenly saw him press his hand to the switch, closing the door behind them.

Shutting out the world.

Leaving the two of them utterly alone now.

Lysa felt her breathing shallow, watching now as Din slowly began to remove each piece of beskar plating one by one.

He had slept in his armour the last night they had spent together in this sleeper. So this was a step that Lysa had hoped for, but never had expected.

It was a slow process and Lysa was still not quite sure what to do. Unsure if he would prefer her to look away.

But as though entranced, she merely sat there, in silence, hearing the hiss of each plate as they were removed, and placed at Din’s feet one by one.

The starlight from the shuttered viewport beside her, seemed to shroud him in a blue shadowed light.

Piece by piece the beskar disappeared, followed swiftly by his boots. Leaving Din looking far less stiff, as he stood there finally in just a dark tunic and black pants.

Lysa’s eyes travelled up and down his lean and tall form, unable to stop her curiosity.

It was the first time Lysa had ever seen him without his armour. And despite her only being dressed in a thin blouse and nothing else, Din might as well have been stood before her naked. The gesture far more intimate than anyone would have realised.

But Lysa did.

She could almost feel Din’s nerves now. Obvious that this was not something the Mandalorian did often, as he stood at the end of the bed, turning to face her once more.

A silence filled the room, as both adults merely gazed at one another, Lysa’s heart hammering inside her ribs.

She wasn't sure what to say, caught completely off guard by the entire situation. She hadn't expected him home tonight, and so the idea of sharing a bed with him after what felt like several long torturous days without him, sent her head spinning.

Lysa’s chest rose and fell, as her green eyes lingered on the last piece of beskar upon his person.

“If you want to take off your helmet I can turn away,” she murmured. Her voice was honest now. She knew that if that was something Din wanted, then she would make sure she would comply.

After his long journey she wanted him to be comfortable. He had been kind enough to let her share his bed, so whatever she could do to not put him out any further, she would do it.

“It doesn’t work like that,” came Din’s sudden reply.

Instantly Lysa felt crestfallen, but her eyes lingered on him for a long moment.

“If you were here alone, you’d take it off to sleep?” she asked gently. Watching as the Mandalorian gave a nod.

“Yes.”

“Then I should sleep out there, on the couch,” Lysa said quickly, with a shake of her head, her tone serious. “You’ve travelled so far, you need rest.”

It was not what she wanted at all. But he was her priority, and she would do what she could to help him.

But Din spoke suddenly, his voice low through his modulator.

“If we close the shutters. Shut out the light then…I could remove it….with you here.”

At his words, Lysa felt her entire body become warm, her breathing becoming suddenly laboured.

She gave a hurried nod, swallowing hard, as she glanced at the button situated just below the viewport.

A nervous energy seemed to pass through her entire body, as with one final glance back to Din, her fingers grazed over the button…

…suddenly plummeting them both into pitch darkness.

Lysa could see nothing now, not even her hand in front of her face as she retracted it from the window. 

Anxiously waiting for Din to join her on the bed, she slid across the mattress slightly to make room. And it was a few moments before she felt him sink down onto the edge of the sleeper…

…and the sudden hiss of a seal being broken. A telltale giveaway that he had removed his helmet, with Lysa hearing the clunk of beskar against the wooden floor boards as he placed it down at his feet.

Lysa felt her heart rate quick even further, hearing him give an audible swallow, as his fingers fumbled at the buttons on his tunic.

It was a strange sensation, being denied any sort of visibility. With Lysa feeling like all her other senses were suddenly heightened. As the sound of Din peeling off his tunic followed, hearing it get dropped to the floor with a resounding whump.

A moment later, she felt the sheets move slightly beneath them, feeling Din shift up the bed, coming to sit facing her…

…with Lysa suddenly aware of the heat of his skin close to hers.

Oh kriff.

She could hear Din’s ragged breaths. The sound faint, but enough to drive Lysa utterly wild. With him sounding as utterly tormented as she felt.

She could feel him now, so so very close, feeling a torturous desperation flood her every pore.

She knew she wanted him badly. Every moment they had shared since meeting had been leading up to this moment.

With her heart racing, Lysa gently tilted her face close to his in the darkness, feeling him do the same. His warm breath suddenly dancing over her soft lips.

She had to stop herself from moaning out, her eyelids fluttering closed as she bathed in the intoxicating feeling of his mouth so very close to hers.

And suddenly, unable to help herself any longer, Lysa reached out a hand, suddenly feeling warm skin beneath her fingers, as she slid her palm over a broad shoulder a mere two inches from her. Far closer than she expected.

At the contact, she heard Din’s breath quicken, her own following suit soon after, as she ran her hand over his shoulder, feeling his muscles tensed beneath her fingers.

Lysa feeling completely drunk on him.

His nose brushing hers…

…followed by his lips. 

Just the lightest graze.

A gesture so gentle and delicate.

Kriff…

Feeling his bare hand reach for the small of her waist, as their lips brushed for a second time.

But at the feeling of his mouth ghosting over hers once more, Lysa couldn't stop herself any longer…

Her hand sliding up to the back of his neck…pulling him into her...kissing him desperately.

And it took less than a second for Din to react to her, giving a gentle groan into her mouth as he parted his lips, his warm tongue finding hers.

His lips were softer than Lysa had expected, having thought on them far more over the past few nights than she would ever tell.

They kissed each other with such need, it was as though they had waited years to get to this point. 

Starved lips lapping at one another, as Lysa let out a pleasurable moan as they separated for a brief moment. Din noisily huffing into her mouth at the sound.

He sounded frustrated, with Lysa sensing that his brow was deeply furrowed, with a need and intention laced over his expression.

Taking a moment to catch her breath, Lysa moved her hand up to the back of his head, her fingers feeling that his hair was tangled and unkempt, but very soft, as she threaded her fingers through the short curls at the very nape of his neck.

After enjoying exploring him for a long few seconds, Lysa reached up with her other hand, instinctively grasping for his jaw as, unable to stop themselves, their lips met again.

Lysa felt a smattering of facial hair running over his chin and up his angular jaw, feeling such an intense emotion coursing through her. Such longing she had never felt for another as long as she lived.

Despite not even seeing his face, Lysa knew that Din was everything that she could have ever wanted. Although deep down she knew he could have been a Bothan and she still would be feeling this way. Din’s actions leading up to this moment telling her all she needed to know about the brave and kind and funny Mandalorian, that brightened her days and warmed her nights.

Suddenly now Lysa felt Din’s hand travel from her waist and up the length of her spine, rumpling her thin undershirt as he went. With her knowing that he could likely feel that she was wearing nothing underneath. As his hand slid down her back once again, tugging her waist towards him powerfully.

Lysa could have moaned out at this possessive gesture.

It was indeed an odd thing, to have spent so long unable to look upon Din’s face, to now be so close to him. To feel his skin pressed to hers, and his face a mere breath away.

Lysa pulled back from him, pressing a sudden kiss to his cheek, before kissing at his jawline, two then three times.

She wanted him to feel her lips against the skin he constantly kept hidden away from others. Wishing him to know how truly wanted he was.

As she kissed him, she felt Din give a groan, letting his head fall back in utter enjoyment of the sensation. 

But he only allowed himself this pleasurable feeling for a small moment…

…his face quickly moving back to hers. His lips catching her own again. His kiss suddenly forceful and wanting.

And at this, Lysa could not help herself, tugging Din down on top of her, as she settled herself back against the pillows behind her.

He moved over her now, with Lysa feeling one of his hands press down against the mattress beside her shoulder, keeping the majority of his weight off her. But his other hand, Lysa felt slide up the outside of her bare thigh, grazing up her skin, hitching up her knee and settling his hips over hers. His erection evident, with his hard length pressing against his pants with intent.

The sensation of him drew a gasp of air from Lysa’s lips. The contact, causing a creamy wetness to pool between her legs. A further step in her arousal flooding her veins.

Their kisses now were meaningful. With both adults knowing now what they wanted. With wet lips parting and meeting again and again. Their wet, delicious noises filled the small sleeper. Growing more and more heated with every second that passed.

And Lysa could only gasp out silently, as Din tugged his lips from hers, pressing kiss after kiss to her neck, and then to her collarbone, before stopping suddenly at the top of her breasts.

Lysa lifted her head a little, feeling him hover before her for a moment, before his hand moved over, grazing the ties at the very top of her blouse.

She knew now that he was almost looking for permission to undress her, with Lysa feeling an intense adoration for the man before her, right at this very moment.

She caught his lips in another kiss, as her fingers fumbled for the ties, helping him to undo them, feeling the covering fall open, revealing her flushed breasts beneath.

It had been a long time since Lysa had experienced such euphoria with another. Basking now in each moment of sexual pleasure Din gave her, no matter how seemingly insignificant.

She felt his thumb ghost over her erect nipple, before his lips met with that exact spot, his hot tongue swirling over it expertly, before his mouth began to inch south once more…

Lysa let her head fall back against the mattress behind her, gasping out at the sensation of Din’s mouth moving down her body. Lips and tongue lazily kissing at her, soothing her burning skin.

It seemed now as though Din was taking his time, enjoying himself, as he kissed lower…

…and lower…

And Lysa could only let out a frown, her mouth dropping open.

“Din-” she murmured breathlessly.

But she was cut off, by the sensation of his tongue suddenly meeting with her core.

She let out a hard moan, feeling all the breath leave her body.

It had been a very, very long time since she had felt such pleasure and it was hard not to collapse over the edge, as his warm tongue began to dance over her.

Did he do this often? Surely she hadn’t been the first person he had removed his helmet for. But Lysa pushed thoughts like these from her mind as she felt him press his flat tongue to her soaked slit and lick oh-so slowly, causing her to moan again, clutching at the sheets beside her with desperate hands. 

But Din’s own hands were set on a different course now, wrapping themselves around both Lysa’s thighs, giving her a sudden sharp tug into him, as his tongue deepened its exploration of her soaking wet entrance.

“Oh…kriff, ” she breathed, feeling Din press a chuckle into her core at her words.

Lysa tried to remember now if she had ever cursed that badly in front of Din before, but her thoughts were clouded by the waves of pure pleasure rippling through her entire body.

Din carried on, flicking his tongue over her, kissing open mouthed…

…until finally Lysa collapsed over the edge, arching her back, feeling an earth-shattering orgasm pulse through her.

“...kriff…Din…oh…ohhhh…”

She cried out, her thighs clenching around his head. Feeling Din’s hands on her hips, holding her steady. Ensuring she was fully spent before his lips left her.

Lysa held onto the moment tightly, riding the pleasurable wave for several long seconds until it was over. Her chest rising and falling raggedly, the white blinding light of her orgasm slowly fading back to the darkness that surrounded them.

Kriff.

It took Lysa a long moment to compose herself, feeling Din begin to kiss his way back up her body slowly, and with purpose.

And despite Lysa having been fully satisfied by Din’s tongue, that did not mean she was ready for any of this to be over… still aching for him. His ability to pleasure her, only serving to show her how much she would be missing if she was to stop now.

She could feel his erection pulsing against her soft thigh as he slid up her body. And as he reached her, she kissed him again, tasting herself, sweet, like honey, on his tongue.

His hard body moved over hers, and as her hands met with his broad shoulders, Lysa could feel him trembling beneath her grasp.

She pulled away for the briefest of seconds at this, wishing she could see him now in the darkness. Her green eyes still trying to search for his.

She wondered what colour they were, trying to picture him in his entirety, but knew it would be wrong to ask such a question in a moment like this.

Instead she lifted a hand running her thumb over his bottom lip, before kissing him again.

Din’s gave a hungry groan into her mouth, as he pressed himself into her, his kisses becoming intense, his tongue massaging hers keenly.

Meanwhile Lysa slid her hand down between them quickly. And, reaching Din’s pants, she hurriedly began undoing his buttons, as Din shifted a little. Helping to remove the tough material from his legs, until they were hastily shoved to the floor.

Lysa tore her lips from his, breathing hard, as Din hovered for a moment before repositioning himself over her. Her thighs sliding up around him, his stiff length pulsating against her soft thigh, so close to where she needed him now.

But pressing his hand flat to the mattress beside her head, Din held off a little.

Lysa licked at her lips, moving her hand into the space between them, brushing her fingers over his length.

But all of a sudden Din grabbed her wrist gently, stopping her in her tracks.

“Stop.”

Lysa gave a swallow, at the sound of his voice, so clear to her now without the modulator.

But he sounded concerned.

“Are you sure you want this?” he continued. Lysa could almost hear that he was frowning now.

But Lysa merely kissed him again, her lips pressing against his gently, in a reassuring gesture, before pulling away after a long few seconds.

She lifted her hand to his jaw, her fingers sliding over his stubble-lined cheek.

“I do…” she replied in a soft tone, before feeling suddenly nervous. “...d-do you?”

She worried now that Din had changed his mind, her cheeks immediately flushing pink.

But to her relief, Din spoke again a second later, his voice firm.

“Yes. I want this. More than anything,” he said, his voice filled with an honesty he so so often carried with him.

She heard him swallow hard.

“...but it’s been a long time since I’ve-”

Din suddenly stopped mid-sentence.

Lysa felt a wave of realisation suddenly wash over her. Understanding now what Din was trying to tell her

“I just…I might not last that-”

“It’s ok,” said Lysa quickly, cutting across him.

He didn't have to tell her. To her it was not an issue. All she wanted was for Din to enjoy a pleasure so pure, akin to the one he had just given to her.

“It’s ok, really,” she reiterated, before kissing him again. Both of them instantly deepening that kiss, tongues lapping at one another. Lips meeting and parting in a heated dance as Lysa felt Din grind his hips into hers suddenly.

She gave a moan, feeling his length slide over her aching clit teasingly, gliding through her soaking wet lips.

Immediately Din let out a grunt at the sensation.

Kriff, that felt good.

He pulled back, rutting against her again.

There was no penetration now, but from the sounds being emitted from Din’s lips, Lysa knew he was enjoying the teasing feeling of his erection gliding through the creamy slick of her orgasm so easily.

Though Lysa wasn't faring much better, for the sensation of Din’s hard cock slipping over her clit over and over, was causing that knot to tighten within her lower belly once more.

“Dank farrik, that feels…” Din huffed, but he trailed off, grunting once more, between ragged breaths.

Their pace building.

“Din…”

“Dank farrik…”

Neither of them making any sense with the jumble of illicit sounds being emitted from their mouths.

Din huffed out a hard breath, with Lysa knowing that if they carried on with this teasing, she would no longer be able to hold on.

“Stop, stop…” she breathed out, pressing a hand to Din’s broad chest.

Lysa could feel his heart thudding in his chest. Feel his breathing ragged.

She knew that, like her, Din was barely holding it together.

And that was not how she wanted this to end…

And so, wetting her lips audibly with her tongue, she moved her mouth to his ear, feeling him shudder at the contact of her lips against his earlobe.

And a moment later, Lysa uttered five words, that, although she didn’t realise it, would cause something to snap within Din Djarin. A burning need for her, that he had never felt for anyone as long as he had lived, igniting. 

“I need you inside me,” was all that Lysa Kane managed to breathe, before Din’s lips were on hers, his free hand grasping at her upper thigh, his fingers pressing into her flesh lightly as he urged her thighs apart for him.

A moment later she felt that same hand slip down between them. And feeling him take his length within his grasp, she hitched in a breath, as she felt him press the tip of his swollen cock to her soaked entrance.

Lysa immediately gripped at his taught bicep with one hand as her other hand slid up to his neck. As Din’s length, already sodden with her juices, slid into her, filling her up entirely.

Lysa sucked in out a shaky gasp at the sensation, as Din gave a hard groan, huffing a breath into the space between her neck and shoulder, his bicep flexing and trembling beneath her grasp.

They both lay there for a moment, both adjusting to the position and the feel of each other, as Din pressed his lips to Lysa’s neck sucking on her skin. Before pulling back and finding her mouth…warm and welcoming…

…as he drew his hips back and then buried himself deeply in her once more…

Lysa’s mouth dropped open, giving a moan into Din’s mouth at the feeling of him sinking into her, her fingers tugging at his hair…

…which only seemed to spur him on further, feeling him slowly begin to set a pace, pounding his length rhythmically into her soaking entrance again and again and again.

Kriff.

Lysa felt like she was quickly losing control, hitching her leg up over his hip, her fingernails raking over his back greedily, as she kissed at him, moaning as she went.

Din let out a low growl, which seemed to rumble through his broad chest.

Everything around them disappearing. Leaving only Din and Lysa. Almost fused into one.

They pulled back from one another, as though in sync, foreheads pressed together, sweat beading over their bodies, as they moved against one another.

Lysa could hear his grunts and groans, coming quicker and quicker.

With her feeling her own bliss rippling, like a tide edging into the bay.

She moved her hand to Din’s jaw, her thumb running over his bottom lip as she drew his mouth to hers. But they did not kiss.

Merely huffing moans and grunts into each other's mouths, Din’s lips, slick and swollen.

His hips snapped into her several times more, before his thrusts started to become far more harsh.

Lysa felt the spring in her abdomen begin to coil tightly, as her eyes fluttered closed, her fingers slipping down Din’s shoulder, pressing into his flesh letting him know that she was close, without words needing to be spoken.

She let out a moan dropping her head back against the pillows, her spine arching slightly, as above her Din dropped his lips to her throat.

Kriff, she was close…

Kriiiifff…

Din’s pressed a long open-mouthed kiss to a spot just below her jaw, as she felt his thrusts become suddenly sloppy, and uneven, delivering one final snap of his hips which splintered through Lysa like a bolt of lightning.

She cried out hard, fingernails scraping over flesh, her thighs trembling, the walls of her soaked slit convulsing, sending a ripples coursing through her entire body over and over again.

And feeling her clench around his soaked cock, Din gave a sudden drawn-out groan of his own, his arm pressed taught against the mattress becoming suddenly rigid. His head dropping to her shoulder.

“Dank farrik, I-“ 

But Din found himself rendered mute, crashing into his own pulsating orgasm. Lysa feeling him spill himself inside her, triggered by her own earth-shattering climax.

And like that they stayed, both breathing hard, with Lysa’s thighs and Din’s arms shaking. Both lying there, utterly spent, for a long minute.

Lysa wanted to sink into this moment and never leave. Riding the high of her blissful comedown, feeling Din start to shift against her, his lips finding her neck, pressing a gentle kiss to her burning skin.

She let out a gentle exhale, feeling Din’s heart rate begin to finally steady, his chest still flush to hers. Running her hand slowly up, tangling her fingers in his damp hair, she drew his face to her own.

Despite it being dark, Lysa knew now that he was staring at her. A longing still between them, despite what they had just done.

“I’m glad you came home,” Lysa whispered, her nose grazing against his gently. Ending this just how they had started it.

A second later, she heard Din let out a hard yet satisfied-sounding huff.

“I am too,” he replied, his lips ghosting over hers, before taking her in another kiss. 

His lips moved against hers gently, as she reacted in turn, smiling into his mouth.

They broke apart after a long and enjoyable few seconds, as she felt Din separate himself from her, and collapse down onto the mattress at her side, shifting onto his back.

He gave a groan, before reaching out an arm, in the darkness, sliding it around Lysa’s shoulders. And with another contented smile, feeling utterly exhausted, Lysa settled herself against him. Coming to rest her head on Din’s bare shoulder, pressing her free hand to his chest, as Din’s tugged her close.

There was so much she wanted to say but for some reason no words seemed to come…

…as Lysa felt sleep begin to wash over her…

…slipping into a comfortable dreamworld as Din did the same. Both of them wrapped up in one another, basking in the afterglow of their union. 

Both happy. 

Both content.

Both happy to be back with one another once more.

--------

Ok so what did you think? I really hope someone out there likes it.

I'm all about the angst and fluff, so writing smut makes me worry I'm totally off my game. So hope that was ok!

@its5-15wakeup @thecraftyartist @crazypaine @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @marysucks-blog @siimiasoi @livinxdeadxgrl @midwesternwitchery @the-divine-taurus @handspunyarns

[fleckcmscott]

Help Wanted

Summary: Shaw & Associates needs a new girl. Patricia doesn't get it.

Words: 1,485

Warnings: None

A/N: Does this fit the category of fanfic? It takes place in Gotham City - in the universe of Joker - but it deals with original characters we've gotten to know in the Watch What Happens series. 🤔 Ah, well. Whatever it is, here you are. 😂 Please enjoy! Much appreciation to @jokerownsmysoul for beta-ing!

Also, I've left Sarah's name in rather than replace it with Y/N. Anyone who cares enough to read the adventures of Pat & Matt already knows her true identity. 🤣

If you have any thoughts or questions, please comment, feel free to message me, or send me an ask. Requests for Arthur and WWH are open!

Reviewing the latest replies to the Help Wanted enticed Patricia about as much as the lint covered LifeSaver at the bottom of her purse.

Even with just herself and attorney Matt Stone, half the calendar was hard to fill. More twig than branch, this was the smallest satellite office under the Shaw & Associates umbrella. Most of the Wayne empire's legal matters were handled by colleagues in name only, men in suits glimpsed at annual galas or awards ceremonies honoring Thomas and Martha, Gotham's first couple.

No bankruptcy claims lurked in their files, no accusations of money laundering or tax evasion. No public scandals of affairs with maids to provoke cease and desist letters.

What would be the point of hiring someone when business was as slow as the zoo in the dead of winter?

Patricia browsed carefully typed pages, their perfect margins, streaks of dried whiteout. Nearly all were from local women. About half had attended community college, a handful had gotten certification from the city's Continuing Education program, while the rest had high school diplomas. The applicants ages ranged from nineteen to forty-four, with the vast majority in the under thirty crowd.

Her placid expression was at odds with the tightness of her stomach. At fifty-one, she could be referred to as a classic. When her husband Robert had been drafted to Korea and home had become too empty, she'd joined the firm as a typist. The seventy-five cents an hour had barely covered her train ticket to Old Gotham. But the long rides and scenery had been a welcome distraction from war worries.

Being a natural at shorthand, she'd advanced to legal secretary in a mere seven months, and with that came a recognition she hadn't realized she'd lacked. Between her mother's second-shift cleaning jobs and the day-to-day of keeping a home, praise had been a rare prize as kid. Now it evoked a drive to better herself even when life was pretty good.

By the time Robert had come home, she'd grown to love the legal profession and the part she played in it. After the start of his HVAC repair business and the birth of their daughter, Patricia enrolled in night school for legal assistant certification. She'd spent classes tucked in the corner of the classroom, textbook and notepad on her lap, a bag of coloring books and toys for Ruby strewn across the animal phonics rug.

The promotion to paralegal and transfer to this twig was one of her proudest moments. She'd worked hard to get where she was, enjoyed the routine of her job, overarching calm peppered by deadlines that kept her blood pumping.

Patricia flipped the pile of resumes over, tried to flip her reservations out of sight, out of mind. While Matt could be an oaf, he was an excellent lawyer and fair boss. She'd offered him a handkerchief when his wife had left him, and he'd sent flowers when her grandson was born. They worked well together, to the point where she'd finish his sentences before he'd had a chance to dictate the stop.

And yet the truth nagged. If she was about to lose all this to a younger model, it'd be impossible to land another job.

Mug in hand, she aimed for the breakroom to the right, which doubled as a conference room for three, four if one was standing.

But Matt called from his office. "You got a minute?"

Once she was seated in the high-back reserved for clients, he perched across from her, on his desk. He twisted to reach behind him. "Take a look at this and tell me what you think," he said, and held out a sheet of paper.

It was blinding white, 24 lb, watermarked with the word Eaton. The presentation came off as pretentious, but when she glimpsed the address of Boonville, Missouri, it became clear it was a small town's way to impress.

Sarah Thompson. Thirty-seven. Divorced. "She didn't list her height or weight," Patricia remarked. That put her in the upper third of candidates.

"I called her while you were at lunch. Sharp woman, good education."

A four-year graduate of Missouri State East. Patricia straightened. "Her work history's a little light. Two firms, one with her last name?"

"That's more than half the applicants," he said with a dismissive wave. "And I asked her about that. Ex-husband's firm. But if she's still there ten years after they split, she must be all right."

"Her background is probate and family court. That's outside of our scope."

"That experience'll be good for our upcoming pro bono work."

Pro bono work? They barely had enough paying work as it was. A skeptical shake of her head. "Matt, I've got to be honest. With things as slow as they are, I don't see the rationale of bringing anyone else on."

He glanced over her shoulder, stepped to close the door behind her, as if they were guests at the Watergate and the furniture could spy. Circling to his tufted executive chair, he folded his hands together, pointer fingers steepled. "Thomas Wayne is looking into a mayoral run."

"He's a cardiologist. Why on earth would he want that job?"

"Something about his family's legacy, the Waynes fixing Gotham, yada yada. Anthony Mancuso - remember him? He's from the Wayne Foundation, we met him at the New Year's party. Anyway, he's taking charge of the foundation's charity arm. The public works project they funded to rebuild the viaduct will be done in June, and the Wayne Boys Home has secured enough funding for the next five years.

"The foundation has an idea for a free medical clinic in Otisburg. And not just a rinky-dink place for VD testing and condoms. It'd be a substantial investment in the city-"

"That coincides with the campaign," Patricia said.

The observation hung in the air before Matt gave a loose shrug. "That coincides with the campaign. No one's sent in any details yet, but business is expected to pick up. It'll require a lot of filings. Our pro bono hours were already on the low end during out last audit." He gestured at the resume. "We'll see how the new hire does with that and go from there."

"I'll be working on the Wayne case?"

"Primarily, but I reserve the right to drag her into it when it gets hairy."

She eyed Miss Thompson's address again. "I wonder why she wants to move all the way up here."

"That's the beauty of it. She's only seen Gotham on the news. She doesn't know the politics, she has no opinions on the Waynes. And the best part? No kids. And at her age, they're unlikely. She can pick up any extra hours we need - unless you want the overtime."

Matt's loyalty buoyed Patricia's heart and mind. But how far would that loyalty stretch if the chips were down with a 2-9 offsuit? She crossed her legs at the knee. The hem of her wool skirt shifted at her shins. "What if all this doesn't go as planned?"

Forearms braced on his desk, he leaned forward. "You're not going anywhere. You've been here longer than I have, and you know how to work the coffee percolator."

Relief loosened the corners of her mouth.

"Missouri's an hour behind, right?" He checked his watch. "I'll call her and give her the good news." After punching in the number, he grabbed a key from his pen stand and tossed it to Patricia. "Head to the basement and see what we've got down there. Desk, chair, typewriter, you know the rest." Akin to a bird, his head darted down and towards the receiver. "Hi, Miss Thompson? This is Matthew Stone from Shaw & Associates. Fine and yourself? Good, good. Are you sitting down?"

Patricia sidled out of his office and closed the door. She surveyed the room, the acanthus leaves carved into mahogany cornices. Bronze fluorescent light fixtures. The eight-by-ten space that'd been all her own for the better part of two decades.

Legal pad in hand, she took a breathed a cleansing breath and went out into the hallway.

Her nerves were nearly gone. She pushed the elevator call button, and the predictable hums and whirs of pulleys and gears calmed the rest. She tapped her pen to her notepad and considered. If she was worried, this Sarah Thompson must be just as nervous. Likely more so, what with having to relocate to the city where Patricia was born and bred. She had to adjust to sharing with a colleague; this woman had to adjust to a whole new life.

A sudden sympathy tipped the scales, a reflection of the heavy heart that'd led her to this path so long ago.

Sarah must have a story. Patricia made a note to learn it.

Ding! beckoned the elevator door. Stepping inside, she started her list. "Order name plate and business cards."

~~~~~

Tag list (Let me know if you want to be added!): @harmonioussolve​​​​​ @ithinkimaperson​​​​​ @sweet-nothings04​​​​​ @stephieraptorr​​​​ @rommies​​​​​ @fallenstarsabyss @gruffle1​​​​​ @another-day-in-chuckletown​ @hhandley80​​​​​ @jokerownsmysoul​​​​​ @rafaelbottom @ralugraphics​​​​​ @iartsometimes​​​​​ @fleckficgirl

[gralunaisland]

Honestly, Juvia is one of the most boring characters I've ever seen. She is an extremely shallow character and her development is nonexistent. There is nothing to her besides her lust for Gray.

juvia is Nothing Without her Lust for Gray

I agree with you very much, Anon. You really put it perfectly. she just brings nothing to the table but toxicity and a stagnant character.

Like you said, she's shallow. she judges everyone at face value (especially women, whom she always assumes the worst of). she also doesn't ever try to understand other people and always misinterprets Gray's intentions and thoughts even though it would be so, so easy to understand him because she actually doesn't care about him; she only cares about what juvia wants.

As for your comment about how her development doesn't exist, I just made a post about that here where I parse some instances where Pros might say that juvia has had character growth and debunk them. she never grows as a person and also basically forces everyone around her to change to accommodate her antics and toxicity, like Erza and Gray, both of whom had their characters decidedly retconned to, for the former, encourage juvia's disgusting pursuit of Gray, and for the latter, return juvia's affection in a similarly manic manner, neither of which makes any sense for their true characters.

I've said it a dozen times, but juvia is a satellite character, and does not exist without Gray. You are very right when you say there is nothing to her except her lust for Gray, because if you take that away, she's an empty husk that stops functioning, as seen in the Avatar arc.

Plus, if you think about it, it's her lust for Gray that drives every action she takes. It was the only reason she decided to "become good", as she never actually tries to make amends or even just apologize to the FT guild for what she'd done after the Phantom Lord arc. That means all of her supposed "character growth" literally hinges only on Gray. You bet if he turned evil she'd be right at his side (like in the Daphne arc).

And if it ever seems like she's doing something for the good of the Fairy Tail guild, think again! she's only helping out the guild that her snookums attends; if he left, she wouldn't spare them another thought. This is made apparent by her taking his side in the, again, Daphne Arc, as well as her ditching everyone and not caring about them because she got to follow and harass Gray just the two of them after the disbandment of FT. You also see that in how she treats the other guild members and how she didn't try at all during the GMG.

All in all, I really don't have to add more here. juvia's suckiness speaks for itself, and I've been talking about this subject quite often lately. Anyway, Anon, thank you for your patience (so sorry for taking so long to get to answering you) and for sending an awesome ask!

[aniron48]

Love Letters - Day 4

I don't know how it's possible, but we're already almost halfway through! You all have made this so much fun, and it's been an utter delight for me so far. 💜 If you're joining for the first time, you can catch up as follows: Day 1 Day 2 Day 3

As a reminder, there will be a post around this time (9pmish EST) every night through 2/14. And for those who are all caught up, welcome to day 4 of Love Letters, a 00q choose your own adventure! Congratulations, fellow nerds, you've unlocked the library. Day 4 starts below the cut.

His next stop should probably be to the library.

“Can I help you find anything?” A librarian with bright pink hair and a beard to match walked up to where Bond lingered in front of the new acquisitions shelf, trying to get his bearings.

Bond opened his mouth to decline, but he only had an hour and a half before he had to be back at MI6 for a meeting with the Budget Office, and not much idea where to start. Besides, he’d made sure nothing he borrowed could be traced to him, anyway. He’d taken out the library card in Mallory’s name.

“I don’t suppose you have any books on love letters?”

“Books about love letters? Or with examples of them?”

“Yes. Both. Either.”

“Well, you’re in luck. I pulled a few things that might be of interest for our Valentine’s Day display. It’s just over here.”

Bond followed the librarian, whose name badge read “Kai,” to a table decorated with construction paper drawings of candy hearts. They picked up a book called Indelible: Queer Love Letters through the Ages. “This just came in last month, and it’s gorgeous. Give it a look and see if it’s what you need.”

Bond took the book to one of the nearby tables and began to page through.

Before he knew it, nearly an hour had gone by. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected, exactly. Perhaps that love letters from real people would be somehow less than the fictional letter Austen had written for Captain Wentworth—less profound, and more prosaic. There were mundane bits, to be sure, but somehow even they were suffused with light; enhanced, rather than diminished, by the love that brought them into focus.

“I just miss you,” Vita Sackville-West wrote to Virginia Woolf, “in a quite simple desperate human way…I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal.”

And there was profundity, too, a humanity that banked itself like the embers of a fire against the darkness that threatened to overwhelm it. Near the middle of the book, Bond found the letters of Wilfred Owen to Siegfried Sassoon. 

“And you have fixed my Life—however short,” he wrote, almost a year to the day before he was killed in action, barely a week before the end of World War I. “You did not light me: I was always a mad comet; but you have fixed me. I spun round you a satellite for a month, but I shall swing out soon, a dark star in the orbit where you will blaze.”

“What do you think?” Kai asked, returning to Bond’s table.

Bond cleared his throat. “It’s perfect,” he said. “Could I check this out?”

“Of course. I’ll meet you at the circulation desk.” 

Kai took Bond’s library card and scanned it, saying as they did so, “You know, the editors of this anthology are putting together a companion version of contemporary letters. They’re asking people to send in copies of letters they’ve received, to show what love looks like now. If you’re fond of love letters, you should think about sending some in.”

Bond looked down at the circulation desk, rubbing ineffectually at a scuff mark with his finger. He thought of a flooded building in Venice, and all the hopes that had collapsed with it; of the dozens of married women and the handful of married men for whom Bond had been an excuse to pretend, for an hour, or an evening, or a week, that their lives were something more than a string of indistinguishable, empty days. He’d been happy to let them, at the time. He’d been using them for the same thing, after all. But there had been no love letters for him, either, even if he’d never felt the lack until now.

“No,” he said after a moment. “No, I don’t have anything I could send in.”

“Well, you never know,” Kai said, handing over the book. “Valentine’s Day is coming up. You might get lucky.”

“You never know,” Bond said, slipping his library card back in his wallet. “Thanks again.”

As he walked back to MI6, the book safely wrapped in his jacket, he thought, finally, that he might have everything he needed to write Q a proper love letter.

I made up the title of the book Bond looks through, but the love letters (and many more like them!) are real. You can find the letter from Vita Sackville-West here, and the one from Wilfred Owen here.

[snabie]

HOLD UP! I HAVENT ASKED A PF QUESTION IN A FEW DAYS!!!!!! here's something... when pf and nux are living together in the green place like they HAVE TO and have their happily ever after... what kinds of things do they do to pass the time.. please. i need my otp

STARRY I'M KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH /p Happily Ever After AU let's go

Ok so first of all, the ladies at the Green Place would definitely encourage PF to keep studying medicine. So far she had to watch the Organic Mechanic in secret, observe him sloppily and heartlessly handling people like they're disposable objects, but now she gets to learn from proper medicine women who have a ton of knowledge about herbs and flowers. Now that PF is no longer the property of the Immortan, The Dag insists to call her by the name she always wanted to give her - Liliana.

The access to fresh, healthy food and clean water every day gives Nux the strength his body needs to heal. Fuck cancer he heals because I said so. He gets to work as a Black Thumb again, fixing up the motorcycles and the few other vehicles the warriors use. Every once in a while he visits PF - no, Liliana - just to see her. He comes up with excuses like oh he twisted his ankle and he's got a bit of a cough but honestly he just wants to see her. They are almost inseparable tbh, when he has nothing to do he sticks around the med tents, watching her work, or he picks up herbs for her so she can mix her creams and salves. When she has nothing to do, she watches him work, hands him clean rags, holds the flashlight, reminds him to drink water that he now doesn't have to ration anymore.

And when they both have time for themselves, they find a secluded place in the shade where they can sit together. She teaches him how to read and write. She reads the first few chapters of a book to him, and leaves him hanging after a very interesting part. Nux complains and begs her to keep going, but she just shrugs and says if you could read, you'd know how it ends. So yeah... he starts by drawing letters in the sand, but they get blown away by the wind. Then he starts using soot to write letters on rocks, but even they can be wiped away. The ladies of the Green Place eventually get him a small, broken blackboard and a piece of chalk, and to him it's the most amazing thing he's ever owned.

Whenever they're alone together, they sit in the shade, hidden from curious eyes, and read, talk, or just touch each other. Both aren't used to gentle physical touch, so they're like... exploring it together. She wonders what it's like to have her cheeks cupped, he wonders what it's like to have his head patted. They exchange niceties, explore boundaries, find out what feels nice and what doesn't. Tickling? Kinda fun sometimes, but not always. Nose rubbing? Cute, feels funny. Poking? Depends on the body part, and on whether PF cut her nails or not. It's something that children do in their first years, and now they're catching up on what they missed and lacked in their lives.

They find out so many ways to show affection, and they explore them all. PF learns how to cut up fruit for him. Nux learns how to make a good tea for her. Small, simple things.

By the end of the year, they lay in the grass, looking up at the night sky. She tells him that apparently not all the shiny things up there are satellites, some of them are apparently massive balls of extremely hot plasma, and they glow because the protons collide again and again. Nux laughs because of how ridiculous that sounds and compares it to what happens inside an engine. Then, after a bit of hesitation, he slips her his broken blackboard. It's almost in two pieces by now, held together by lots of tape and willpower. PF takes it carefully and reads what he wrote.

"I lofe you".

She laughs a bit - formerly a rare occurance, but now, an almost daily one. She cuts a peach in half, and gives him the bigger one.

"I love you too."

[papermint-airplane]

Previously on The Non-Canon Just Because I Feel Like It Bachelor Challenge...

Seven contestants answered the casting call to join a Bachelor Challenge reality show. Once they arrived to the filming location, however, they were rendered unconscious by an unseen force while signing the standard reality show waiver, then abducted into parts unknown of OUTER SPACE!!! where they regained consciousness and were forced to sign a new waiver they weren't allowed to read.

Despite the fact that this show was now taking a decidedly different format than the one they signed up for, the girls decided to remain calm and proceed as if everything was perfectly normal. Well, some of them.

Eleanor: Am I the only one weirded out by this?

Their mission was to compete in challenges to win the heart of Aiden Ayy, our alien bachelor. Unlike the contestants, Aiden never signed up for a reality show in the first place. Instead, he was abducted from his Earth home where he had been stranded for 18 years, and held captive in a separate pod from the women. Why was he chosen to be the bachelor in this reality show? Because...uh...because of rational non-petty reasons unrelated to any sort of deep-seated desire to see this particular man suffer.

It's simply because he...uh...he looks good on camera. Yeah, that's it.

See? The camera loves him.

Anyway. *cough*

The first challenge, a waffle-making contest, was held and the apparently-duplicitous Rose was the failure of the week.

She was ejected from the house, but not before she could reveal her true colors as a spiteful sore loser who vowed to return and do whatever it took to win.

Why does she want to win so badly? Does she care about Aiden at all or is defeating the competition and being declared the victor the only thing that matters to her?

Bailey, the challenge winner, became the first contestant to go on a one-on-one date with Aiden. The two, though awkward at first, began to hit it off with one another.

That's when Bailey dropped the bombshell that she was still in love with her ex-boyfriend who she had been forbidden to see by her father. Bailey then tried to forfeit the competition but I, the all-powerful Watcher, refused to let her leave of her own volition. If anyone leaves this house, it's because I said they can, understand? That's how this show works, and don't any of you forget it!

Bailey moped for a bit.

Viridia slapped the shit out of Kitty.

The two events were unrelated, mind you, but it was hilarious. I just had to see it again. Sometimes, I just replay that part over and over again just to see the stupid look on her face.

The next challenge began *cough* shortly afterwards, but there was something decidedly off about this one.

It soon became apparent that Rose, the thorn in my side she is, had somehow managed to evade my security measures and sneaked her way into my control room during my lunch break, locking me out in the process. For whatever lame-brained reason, she forced the contestants to ride a bull to prove their commitment to Aiden which is just so incredibly stupid to me. I mean what does riding a bull have to do with dating someone? Is this a sex thing? Is this a metaphor about taking charge in a relationship? Did any thought go into this whatsoever?

Predictably, Kitty, the contestant with the largest proverbial stick lodged firmly up her proverbial ass, lost. Even though this challenge was not my idea, after valiantly wresting control of the competition from Rose (entirely off screen so you'll have to imagine how that went down) I decided that Kitty's loss was canon. Honestly, I just wanted to get rid of her. Her constant lectures on propriety were bringing down the whole vibe.

Bailey attempted to throw the competition yet again, but it was Kitty who was ultimately ejected from the house much to the delight of me, Viridia, and the viewing public at large.

Speaking of Viridia, she was the winner of the challenge, and just as soon as I get this jerry-rigged satellite back into position to continue my pirate broadca--I mean, completely legitimate broadcast --she will be going on a one-on-one date with Aiden.

Where will the competition go from here? It's anyone's guess! Will the growing alliance between Eleanor and Bailey become an issue for me maintaining control of the house? Will Rose return to wreak havoc once again? Will Viridia blow out Aiden's eardrums when it's just the two of them in close proximity with each other? Will my devious machinations be revealed? Will the various intergalactic law enforcement agencies who have been keeping a keen eye on this completely legitimate broadcast finally locate the planet the hostages--I mean contestants are being held on? Will Tumblr stop messing up the format of my posts so the pictures are in the body of text instead of all clumped together at the top of the post?

Find out soon on...

The Non-Canon Just Because I Feel Like It Bachelor Challenge!

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