#but I'm certainly not angry.
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i need him.... i need to be on my [REDACTED] in front of him while he [REDACTED] until he [REDACTED] in my [REDACTED] and makes me [REDACTED].....
yes..... this aki fig is truly the figure ever.....
#I can't wait to add him to my collection#but I'll stare at him each time I pass by#AUUUUGGHHHH I LOVE A MAN COVERED IN BLOOD#and the way he's sitting like#is that seat taken#I'm about to unbuckle his belt and go to town I'm serious#I'm still flabbergasted his very first scale figure slutted him out this much#but I'm certainly not angry.#could go on and on about the details of this figure....... it's so good....#ask mags
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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Y'know, it's unfortunate more people don't compare Louis and Violet in good faith.
Like, when I do see people compare them, it's usually through the lens of one is good, and the other bad. One is more canon than the other, and here's why. One is objectively better for Clementine, and the other is less impactful, worse written, didn't have chemistry with her, insert several insults here, etc.
I don't think it's inherently bad to express why you might not like one of them, or why you prefer one over the other. That's fine, that's a matter of opinion. It only gets to me when it becomes hostile, or passive aggressive... but even then, I've learned to just roll my eyes and move on. Some people make it very clear that they're not worth having a discussion with.
However, I wish I could read more nuanced comparisons of the two that didn't default to the "and that's why this one is better." At least some are kind enough to tack on a "for my Clementine" at the end.
You know how it goes: Louis is cute and he makes Clementine laugh, whereas Violet's boring, her love is shallow, she's still not over Minerva and she's using Clementine as a rebound. Violentine's a bad ship because Violet's actually a traitor, and they're practically the same person and that's bad.
Violet's loyal and reliable, whereas Louis is annoying, he never takes anything serious, he's a traitor for his vote, and he's nothing but a distraction. Clouis is a bad ship because how could any Clementine possibly like him after he voted her and AJ out? That's bad!
That's always the conclusion, right? One good, one bad.
This is incredibly limiting and it drives me nuts.
They're foils. They contrast one another, highlight each other's strengths and flaws, in such an interesting way that it makes Clementine's choice between them all the more meaningful.
One is not good and the other bad, they're different, and I think that's worth exploring.
Let's start with a common argument: Violet is the more impactful option due to her connection to Minerva.
Now, to be fair, I can understand why someone on Team Violet would believe this. Yes, it's true that the confrontation with Minerva is more impactful for a violentine shipper who has more investment in Violet as a character. Louis doesn't have as strong of a connection to her.
However, what they're failing to recognize is that Minerva isn't the only ghost to haunt this narrative. Violet may have Minerva, yes, but Louis has Marlon... and that doesn't just go away once Marlon's dead.
Violet's route has Minerva as her ex-girlfriend, and her bond with Tenn that all comes to a head on the bridge. Louis' route has Marlon's death and how that specifically impacts his relationship with AJ and Clementine, and the slow burn of forgiveness on all sides.
Marlon and Minerva are also reflective of Clementine's worst outcomes.
Clementine and Marlon were tied together through Brody's blood splattered on their hands and faces. They both killed a part of Brody, but only one of them lies about who killed her first.
After Marlon dies, Clementine gradually replaces him throughout the game; Rosie is her dog now, she uses his bow [which Louis gave her], she becomes the leader. Clementine gets them to fight back, and when three of her people are captured, she doesn't cut her losses. She does what Marlon couldn't; "we're getting them back."
When she chooses Louis, he does for her what he never did for Marlon: he steps up.
Clementine proves she won't become Marlon just as she proves she won't become Minerva.
After getting James to agree to help them, Clementine and AJ talk about what to do if she ever gets bit. AJ says he'd want her to bite him, too. He repeats this sentiment after she's actually bitten, telling her he wants to stay and they could turn together, peacefully.
When Minerva confronts them on the bridge, she's dying... and she wants Tenn to die with her. She doesn't care who she has to kill in the process. She's more monster than human at this point, and most times, she succeeds.
They're both bitten. Clementine could've become a monster like Minerva in the end. She could've killed AJ, and they could've become walkers together. But she didn't. Minerva wanted Tenn to die for her, and Clementine wanted AJ to live for her.
Also, I should mention she has Minerva's axe. She carries the key weapons associated with Marlon and Minerva throughout different points in the game, further solidifying these connections. She uses Marlon's bow to save her friends, and she uses Minerva's axe to save AJ, who in turn uses it to save her.
What's also so interesting about this is how Marlon's alive in episode one, and Minerva is thought to be dead. Louis has his best friend, and Violet's lost hers. But, at the end of the episode, Marlon's dead and Minerva's revealed to be alive.
Marlon becomes the ghost, and Minerva becomes the monster. Clementine becomes to Louis and Violet what Marlon and Minerva never could... how does that not drive anyone else insane?
So, no. One is not objectively better, or more impactful, because of a connection to Marlon or Minerva. They're different. It just depends on which storyline you personally find more compelling.
Actually, let's talk about that a little more.
In my opinion, the most intriguing point of comparison between Louis and Violet stems from their perceptions of survival, and how that impacts Clementine.
An argument I see made against violentine is that Violet's boring because she and Clementine are too similar. This usually comes from clouis shippers who prefer the "opposites attract" dynamic Clementine and Louis have.
On the flip side, there's the counter argument that Louis is reckless, that he doesn't take survival as seriously as he should and Clementine wouldn't want him because of that.
These are interesting to me because I get where they're coming from... but they ultimately miss the point.
The other day, I replayed TFS. Except this time, I did something a little bit differently. I played my usual clouis route, but then I had the violentine route pulled up on my laptop so that I could watch these scenes, comparing them side by side… and something occurred to me.
Louis is about challenging Clementine's perception of survival, and Violet is about validating it.
Louis challenges Clementine from the very moment we meet him—he’s playing music. His initial philosophy on survival butts heads with Clementine’s. The fact that hunting with him and Aasim challenges your perception of “your choices have consequences.” These games have conditioned the player to think along the lines of, “Yeah, Louis is more fun… but if I don’t hunt with Aasim, we won’t have any food.”
Except that’s just it. I hate to say it, Aasim, but in the grand scheme of things… hunting with you doesn’t matter. It's actually less rewarding. You know why? Because in the next section, we get food from the train station. It would’ve been more beneficial to spend time with Louis over hunting, hence how he challenges you.
This then primes you for the choice between choosing to follow Louis or follow Violet. I know people complain about how this is presented with Violet doing something productive [checking the walls] and Louis playing piano… but that’s the point. If you’re going through with Louis’ full route, you need to meet him at his level, and in turn, he will meet you at yours. You need to accept the challenge, the idea that Clementine isn’t entirely right about the way she’s gone about survival.
Oh, and do I even need to mention the vote? The debate over Louis’ vote is exhausting. Often times, people tell on themselves in how they talk about it. It’s not actually about the fact that he voted against them. If it was, these people would have a bigger bone with pick with Mitch, Willy, Ruby, and Omar… and yet Louis is the one who takes all the blame as if he’s the only one personally kicking them out.
Louis is reacting to the death of his best friend, and the complicated feelings that come with it being caused by AJ. He wants accountability, even if he knows something's wrong. You can either agree with him that it was murder, and set AJ on the path of atonement… or, you can double down and tell him to fuck off, AJ was justified.
But here’s the thing… the vote adds to the appeal of Louis’ route. To someone who hates him, or at the very least is critical of his vote, that sounds mad or delusional.
Except it’s really not.
Ever heard of a thing called tension? Because there’s a lot of it in ep2 between clouis + AJ and it’s fantastic.
Yes, Louis voting them out is problematic because we need a problem to solve. We need something to feed the tension between him and Clementine. He stepped in front of a gun held by his best friend in order to protect her, forever changing their relationship… only for that to seemingly be taken away from us the moment AJ shoots Marlon.
Yes, Louis’ route is about being challenged, but it’s also about challenging him. That he’s able to forgive them, that he’s able to question his own survival philosophy and understand theirs, that he’s able to apologize and actually change for the better… that right there is what makes clouis so damn good.
He becomes hardened whereas Clementine softens. By the end of the game, they’re on a similar level now without neglecting their differences, and they can move forward together.
That’s what makes Louis’ route appealing… and it’s also what makes it unappealing to people who prefer Violet.
By contrast, Violet’s already on Clementine’s level when it comes to this perception of survival. She validates that Clementine’s on the right path.
They have other similarities in the way that they’re both female, queer, they both have a kid they look after, they’re not always great with other people, etc.
People who prefer Louis might consider this boring, but I think to Team Violet, it’s comforting. It’s comforting to have a partner who takes this as seriously as you do, who wants to get shit done. They’re playing Clementine with a similar attitude, and don’t believe it needs to be challenged. It’s comforting to feel validated on something you already firmly believe in.
We also see this if we compare the hunting and fishing scenes. You have to make an effort to choose Louis by choosing to neglect hunting, but the game makes you fish with Violet no matter what.
Violet’s prioritizing fishing because they need food. That’s what they’ve set out to do, so let’s do it. The game is letting you know that’s the case, and if you value that, continue pursuing her.
While fishing, they discuss why things are weird with her and Brody. Violet doesn’t take well to Clementine’s blunt, “Because you make it weird. Brody tries and you just make fun of her."
That’s understandable because I think she already kind of knows why and is looking to have her feelings validated. She prefers it when Clementine suggests that it’s because Brody never said sorry for what happened to the twins.
There’s also comfort and validation in the way Violet sides with Clementine and AJ after Marlon’s death. She votes for them to stay, vocalizing how much she disapproves of the results. There’s this feeling that I recognize from a lot of the sapphic romance I read; “it’s you and me against the world, I’ll always have your back, even if you’re in the wrong, I’ll fight for you.”
In our case, it’s violentine + AJ against the rest of Ericson, save Tenn and Aasim. Violet validates that AJ was justified because Marlon was a liar and murderer, claiming that AJ and Clementine did nothing wrong. Violet fights to keep them.
The tension between violentine in ep2 is different because instead of one pushing the other away, they’re being forced apart by the vote and there’s nothing they can do about it. That tension is somewhat released when Clementine comes back and they’re reunited, working out a plan to best defend the school.
It’s also why Violet’s presented as doing something productive when you follow her instead of Louis, and why she asks if you want to hang out after checking the defenses.
All that being said, allow me to reiterate that one is not good and the other bad, they're different. These concepts of challenge and change/validation and comfort exist on a neutral road as diverging paths. It’s up to the player to pick what path they prefer, but that doesn’t mean the other path isn’t worth acknowledging or analyzing.
I should also mention that they’re not exclusive; there is overlap with validation being present in Louis’ route and challenges in Violet’s. They’re just more present in episodes 3 and 4 after we’ve made our decision.
There are several more examples of how this all fits together, buuuuut–
Ya’ll wanna compare some allegories?
Those familiar with my content might already know where I’m going with this as I’ve made a post about Louis and the piano in the past.
You see, I believe that there are allegories for Louis and Violet’s hearts present in their routes: Louis’ piano, and Violet’s pin.
I already have a thorough, in-depth analysis of Louis and the piano that you can read, so all I’ll say about it is that on the night of the raid, he asked Clementine to carve a piece of herself into his heart so that no matter what, their initials will be immortalized together in its wood…
And that makes me fucking feral.
But I'm also so normal about it.
As for Violet, her heart is the star gazing pin she gives to Clementine. She gives it to her so she’ll always remember that night… but she doesn’t give it to her until after Clementine’s saved her, and that fascinates me in the context of it being allegory.
Louis asks Clementine to carve herself into his heart right before the raid, cementing that from that moment on, he is utterly devoted to her. I believe this is part of the reason why Louis is still happy to see her if he’s the one who’s captured. Yes, yes, he’s also incredibly traumatized from having his tongue cut out and he’d be happy to see anyone, yada yada… but listen, if you romance Louis and he’s captured, his heart remains with her—that piano with their intitals is on full display. When he sees her, he’s still so devoted to her that he refuses to accept that it’s at all her fault. Even when she says it is, he shakes his head... and he so easily accepts her when they’re together in the end. From the moment Clementine puts knife to wood, he’s hers.
Now, look… you might think I’m going somewhere not great with this but hear me out.
I think after Clementine’s gone star gazing with her, Violet is fully ready to give her heart to her. Y’know, give her the pin. But, think about what Violet said about how people have left, but Clementine came back. Plus, with the impending raid to think about, maybe Violet should keep the pin until the right moment.
I believe a key difference between her and Louis is that Violet needs one last thing to solidify that Clementine’s the one.
Louis gives her his heart prior to the raid because of everything that’s already gone down between them following Marlon’s death. Violet needs to know that Clementine’s willing to fight for her the way she fought before. When Clementine saves her from the raiders, it’s solidified. Even after she sees Minerva again, it changes nothing.
It’s also worth noting that the pin is something Clementine wears. Like the piano carving, it’s a piece on display for everyone to see, to let them know whose heart Clementine has.
Violet literally handed Clementine her heart as a means of saying, “I’m yours. I’m devoted to you.”
This is why romanced/captured Violet is devastating, and is why she behaves the way she does in the cells. She was so ready to give her heart away and then nope, sorry, Vi! You get knocked unconscious by raiders instead!
If anything, you kind of deserve to be told to fuck off if you romanced her and then let her get captured. Just sayin’.
Look, I have a lot of complicated feelings about the captured violentine route, mostly with Violet being as forgiving as she is after her eyes are burned—yes, yes, I know, her eyes are burned and Minerva messed with her head so of course now she’s not hostile, yada, yada.
But I think it’s rather telling that you don’t get the pin in this route. Sure, Violet’s willing to forgive and possibly pursue this romance in the future… but she’s not ready to hand over her heart, not truly. Not after everything that’s happened.
And if you want to get extra angsty about it, imagine that Violet made the pin right after they parted ways, but before the raiders came. Meaning that if she’s captured, it’s possibly still sitting somewhere, abandoned.
Mmhmmm, very normal about this. I feel normal. My normalness about this continues... normally. I'm not losing my shit thinking about that. Nope. Why would I? I wouldn't! So normal.
Okay just let me talk about their reactions to Tenn's death and then I'll shut up.
This makes me want to gnaw my own foot off, I can barely handle it.
AJ shoots Tenn on the bridge because Clementine trusted him to make the hard calls. This saves Louis or Violet's life.
When Louis jumps across, he's completely silent as he watches Tenn die... and then he's pissed; "What the fuck?! How could you just shoot him like that?!"
AJ explains himself, that he did it for him, and Louis is so upset that he forces AJ to look at what he's done, to watch the walkers eat Tenn; "Tenn's dead. He's dead! Do you realize that?! Look! [...] He's... he's gone, because of you. Just fucking gone."
If Clementine says AJ saved his life, Louis says, "So what, we just cut him loose? Gun him down like he was nothing?"
If Clementine says nothing, Louis says, "Tenn was just a little boy!"
The reason Louis responds this way is because in this moment, he just relived Marlon's death all over again, but worse. So, SO much worse!
When Violet jumps across, she breaks down, begging, "Oh, my God! Oh, my God! No, no! No, no, no..." as she watches Tenn die... and then says to AJ, "No! What the fuck?! How could you do that?!"
AJ explains himself, that he did it for her, and Violet is faaaar from okay; "For me? I can't... Tenn is gone! That soft little boy who liked to draw, he's gone, because of you!"
If Clementine says AJ saved her life, Violet says, "You think that's okay?! Just gunning down one of our own?!"
And there it is.
Louis is hardened in this situation because he already went through this... Violet hasn't, not with AJ. She softened up throughout her route due to her relationships to him and Clementine... but this is the moment where she realizes that maybe AJ wasn't as justified as she believed, and this is the consequence.
This leads us to the ending where AJ asks if they're still mad about him killing Tenn, and I just... I'm biting my foot right now because the script has flipped.
Louis is forgiving and understanding. He's soft, he's sympathetic, he shakes AJ's hand to let him know that all is forgiven and they're okay; "I... AJ, I guess it's like... You saw something I didn't. About the situation, I mean. Minnie and the walkers and Tenn, it's just all this chaos in my head when I think back on it. [...] Clem says you saved my life? Well, then, that's exactly what you did. And how can I stay mad at anyone for doing that?"
Or, alternatively, "He was your friend, AJ. I know you are hurting just as much as I am."
As for Violet? She's understanding, too... but she's not quite ready to forgive yet; "The thing you said on the bridge...that he was messing up all the time. It wasn't something new, you know. Tenn got himself or other people into trouble all the time, long before you guys got here. He was always so lost. He lived in a world that just...isn't there, you know? And that's why I tried to look after him. But when I was pulling him away from the walkers, and Minnie, I could also see...he just wasn't there anymore."
"So you're mad, but sad."
"Can I be that for a while?"
And it's completely understandable that she's hurting and struggling with how she feels about AJ moving forward! She wants to be okay, she wants to forgive him, she just needs time.
Now, because I'm forever bitter, but I'm gonna mention this as well: whenever I see someone point at Violet's scene and say, "See!? This is how LOUIS should've acted in ep2!" like... they're telling on themselves again. Not just that they don't understand Louis as a character or his route, but that they don't fully grasp Violet's part in this either. Or time frames, for that matter.
Let me put it to you in simple terms... they react the same.
After Marlon and Tenn die, they're upset. They're pissed. They blame AJ and yell at him. After they've had time to process what happened [Louis after the two week time skip, Violet after time passes between the bridge and the ending] they share the same, "I'm still upset about Marlon/Tenn. Can I be that for a while and still be your friend?" sentiment.
The difference is that Louis is treated poorly for it because of the vote, and because we feel it first hand for longer... Violet got to grieve off screen and come back after she's sorted herself out.
It's a disservice to both of their characters because it's rooted in that same mentality that I criticized at the beginning: "This is why one is better than the other."
Do I need to say it again? I'm gonna say it again.
One is not good and the other bad. They're different.
There are so many fun discussions that could come from putting Louis and Violet side by side, and examining them. I haven't even covered the different ways they're introduced, or compared their ep3 dates to see what it says about them and the overall narratives! What about the cell scenes!? How they react when Dorian's about the cut off their fingers! The way they approach James upon meeting him!
That last one in particular is especially funny! They're all under stress about blending in with a herd of walkers to infiltrate a boat to save their friends, and yet Louis easily saunters up to the guy wearing walker skins with a smile, and makes him laugh by saying, "Functional and fashionable. I'll take two."
Violet approaches James like he's an injured wild animal that's going to bite her, and bless her heart, she tries with, "I, uh… hey. Hey there, James. Sorry about Willy." Then James gives her this judgmental side-eye, like buddy? She's not the weirdo here.
There is so much potential to dissect here, and I want to see people do it... but I want them to do it fairly, in good faith.
I want to get away from the idea of comparing them to "prove" which is better because there is no objective better. There isn't! That's a waste of time!
I'm so done with The Debate™; it's unhelpful, it's annoying, and it's boring as shit. I've heard it all before, and you probably have, too.
I want to put Louis and Violet under a microscope and study them with the thought process of, "one does this and the other does that... what does it mean!? what does it say about the narrative!? Oh my god, they have the same opinion on this thing, WRITE THAT DOWN!"
So yeah, that's my ramble for the night.
I'm gonna go replay TFS for further research.
#twdg#twdg clementine#twdg louis#twdg violet#twdg aj#twdg tenn#twdg marlon#twdg minerva#twdg clouis#twdg violentine#clouis#violentine#i'll be real honest with you--i had a larger essay planned on this topic#that expanded on these ideas i've put forth here; especially the challenge vs validation thing and the allegories#but there were some parts where i could feel my personal bias slipping in too much...#like i had more to say about clouis than violentine at points because i'm more familiar with it#but then it didn't feel fair y'know? that's why i wish more people would talk about them like this#so that i could get different perspectives without having to deal with terrible 'one good one bad' arguments like they're so UNHELPFUL#i don't wanna hear about how much of a bitch you think vi is because she's angry in her cell scene#and i don't wanna hear about how 'well ACTUALLY it doesn't make sense that ANY clementine would romance louis because of the vote' STOP#to be fair tumblr isn't as bad with this. i'm mostly referring to fandom spaces outside of tumblr like reddit insta youtube etc#though tumblr certainly has had its moments#i dunno i'm just gonna throw this out there and then continue to work on the essay i want to and am able to fully write#and if people want to engage with it then fantastic can't wait to see what y'all have to say
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Most of this is messy and rushed but I had fun with that single panel with a detailed pumpkin
(Part One Here)
Anyway what a sheltered world where some person starts following you around town so you just lead them home and invite them to dinner (and make them carry the heavy item your sister added to the list when your back was turned) I'm sure this kindness and trust Narinder has in the world around him won't come back to bite his entire family in the ass
Lamb: I think the Bishops might be back The Bishops: Lamb: shocked pikachu face Crown: Why are we gasping? We already knew this.
Leshy without his bandages is cursed yet also adorable. Look at that bush worm. He has eyes! He's still blind but he has eyeballs!
#cult of the lamb#justa arts#sketch#narinder cotl#the lamb cotl#baal cotl#aym cotl#Leshy cotl#yellow cat cotl#Heket cotl#Shamura cotl#Kallamar cotl#Leshycat#all my art skills were used up on p1#but I really wanted to draw a p2#anyway Narinder is calm and collected rn just like toww was when you first meet him#but oh my gods later he is gonna lose his SHIT and it's gonna be great#an angry Narinder is not a Narinder you want to mess with#I'm having too much fun with this AU#too much opportunity for angst and comedy than I can resist#reincarnation au#I will think of a snappy name certainly#also the crown being a bird feels strangely fitting
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I am unreasonably upset about the fact that I've been forced to accept that Gabriel was a Gerald.
For context, in An Inspector Calls, Gerald Croft is engaged to Sheila Birling when he meets a homeless, struggling Eva Smith in a bar, and essentially in return for a home and money he shows her affection (ahem), then gets rid of her once he no longer has a use for her. Now, obviously this isn't a direct translation, but the essentials are - a Gerald is a character who uses another character, in return for something they need, usually masking the fact that they're using them with affection and love.
And against my will I've had to accept that this is exactly what Gabriel does to Nathalie.
Did I want to think he had potential to be better? Did I think he genuinely cared for Nathalie?? Hell, did I just really really want somebody to care about Nathalie???
Probably all of the above but the point is: he's Gerald. And I cannot - I literally can't unsee it now. Their whole dynamic in S3 is like “oh boohoo I'm sorry I wish you didn't have to use the peacock Miraculous and kill yourself over it but uh I need to use your powers” “yeah no that's fine I'm all good”. Which, given the "Gerald" theorem, I'm assuming leads to the fact that what Nathalie needed, above all, was someone to care about her - and Gabriel came along, as Sheila Birling puts it, "like a fairytale prince", and was so caring and gentle and... Yeah. She fell for him. And. Yeah he genuinely did seem to care like twice. But so did Gerald. Gerald actually admits that he did care for Eva, just not the way that she cared for him, and, uh, not enough to not just dispose of her. So he discards her anyway when she stops being useful.
Leading me neatly to my point.
He starts using the peacock Miraculous the second it's fixed, the slimy bastard, HOWEVER. It runs way deeper than that. Assuming I'm right (which I almost DEFINITELY am), then Gabriel only needed Nathalie while she was useful. She didn't stop being useful in season three - she's still scheming for him, helping him with plan after plan. It's only partway through season 5 that she officially servers ties with him, and starts to actively hinder him.
Nathalie stops being useful when she fails as Safari. And I reckon that's when Gabriel and Tomoe decided she had to go.
(It's painfully, I-was-ugly-crying-over-it obvious in Conformation that Gabriel is fully prepared to let Nathalie die - in the original storyboard, her alliance was encouraging her to sleep, and he's very obviously prepared for this moment - I've made a separate post about it that I'll link if I can find it. However, onto the next bit)
With all of this, there's one thing that sticks out to me - Nathalie didn't see any of it until it was already too late. There could be many reasons for this. But you know who would have seen through it? Whose parents were all loving and perfect until she married the wrong man? Emilie. Emilie, who left behind those videos, which on the surface look innocent, but when you look deeper look like a (love confession???????) AHEM a warning. I reckon Emilie noticed what was going on and realised that Nathalie wouldn't see through Gabriel, so she left those videos addressed to Nathalie (not Gabriel, which surely they should have been - they were about him, after all - unless they were there...) as a warning. I don't think the videos were supposed to be about helping Gabriel, I think Emilie was warning Nathalie to get the fuck out of that house, and to take Adrien with her. Because Emilie knew it'd end like this.
Yes I'm still mad ok give me a break.
#Not a direct translation obviously#(although I hate the fact that my brain has AUTOMATICALLY made the links between the peacock Miraculous and Emilie and... yeah#as in#it fits better than it should as an allegory)#Anyway yeah my mad evening ramblings™#This began as an angry rant and became a theory#But yeah it's so so obvious I've said it before but it's SO glaringly obvious that Nathalie is desperate for any kind of affection#“girl what were YOU doing at the devil's sacrement -” I am also desperate for affection!!!! Shut up I'm talking!!!!!#It's really really obvious like I'd guess#(given that she seems to live with the Agrestes and has a... past certainly)#there's no family in the picture#And yeah so I'm tired now if you have questions ask them I'll elaborate#Just remember that I'm so fucking obsessed with An Inspector Calls that it's genuinely a plot point in one of my books#So the comparison makes sense ok???? Let me go to bed#(read found-family fanfic and cry)#miraculous ladybug#miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir#nathalie sancoeur#gabriel agreste#emilie agreste#adrien agreste#miraculous#an inspector calls#gerald croft#Yes I'm tagging this with AIC and Gerald ok I want a bunch of GCSE students to look up the tag and be confused out of their fucking minds#Voilà i guess#Oh yeah there's problems with this bc Emilie tells Nathalie to stop Gabe#but there's nothing saying she didn't then add “oh and if you can't then get the hell outta there babes”#“with OUR little prince” (????? That line is still so confusing what does it MEAN)#Oh ig I should tag this with eminath bc of the last bit
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it must suck to be zuko. he can't show off any of his real talents (swordbending, breaking and entering, parkour, and accidental treason) and at certain points has to actively deny having them because they're all illegal and would get him arrested. or executed if we're being real. the one time someone besides aang figured out his swordbending they immediately tried to have him assassinated. and while we're on the topic it was very nice of aang to keep the blue spirit thing to himself!! best boy
#avatar the last airbender#prince zuko#sokka finding out that angry ponytail boy is the blue spirit and DOUBLE wanted by the fire nation: we COULD kill two birds with one stone—#aang: sokka! :(#katara: SOKKA! >:(#sokka: what?! i'm just saying! the guy's chased us all over the world!#katara: that doesn't mean we should orchestrate his execution! or are you suddenly worried that we can't handle ZUKO??#aang: katara's right sokka. all life is sacred. and zuko rescued me from zhao! it's not right to repay that by turning him in!#sokka: ...alright. i see your point. and i'm certainly not OPPOSED to kicking his butt a few more times.......#aang: that's the spirit!#tv: atla
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#my first sleep deprived contribution to the Twisted Wonderland Fandom but certainly not my last#well technically second#but this ain't about that#twst book 7 spoilers#twst book 7#twst spoilers#twisted wonderland#hello TWST fandom have a low quality meme for now#that guitar finally served it's purpose it was like it was made SPECIFICALLY for when I got the urge to throw hands with the Fae Senate#F' those guys roughly with a rusty chainsaw all my homies hate the Fae Senate#Malleus Lilia and Meleanor don't deserve all this#I don't know if it's just because this Book came out at a coincidentally difficult time in my life where I can relate to Lilia even more#but by everything holy and unholy this entire book HURT#although the lore came in at a FANTASTIC timing for an au I'm working on lol#now I take a nap before I figure out how to link ao3 on tumblr via mobile before I work on that#all of my knowledge of years of studying Fae lore and Irish mythology is finally going to come in handy#I wish upon the Fae Senate that their second death feels vaguely like being forced into hot iron shoes and forced to dance to death :)#don't blame Malleus at all for being angry. if he wants to overthrow the Senate I'll be right there with him#twst memes
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the three types of characters i am allowed make
bad mom
angry old man
lying liar who lies (about their identity) (can overlap with the other two)
#i'm not kidding i've been developing characters for a thing recently and these are the exact 3 characters i've made.#bad mom - well she's far from the worst I've developed but you know. When the guilt + shame makes you neglect ur daughter#angry old man - yeah. i mean. he sure fucking is#lying liar who lies about their identity - that is her entire character#and i just keep making these characters over and over again. i wonder what this says about me. i'm sure there's no deeper reasons#for why these are the three i fall back on.#and the fourth character i have in mind for this? pompous#<- because of fucking course#clamtalk#this is primarily about ocs not characters from established media (tho Zot does certainly fit here too) jus to clarify
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unfortunately the world is too fucking messed up so I am currently unable to give a shit about how messed up everything is because it's all too big and if I get upset about any of it my entire ability to be a person will come crashing in
normal service will resume as soon as possible
#red said#this is not a choice I'm making. to be clear.#it's just that after everything that's happened in the last year or so i am currently incapable of having a feeling beyond 'oh.'#just a kind of blank stare of 'this is certainly information i am recieving'#so I'm giving myself permission. to be numb to the horrors of the world for a short while.#because being mad at myself for not caring enough doesn't seem to be doing much to help and it's sapping me more#so i figure. i just accept that right now i cannot summon any strong reactions to things however much they deserve them#and hopefully a short time of that will help me rekindle my will to fight cause right now frankly I'm getting nowhere#I've still been trying to show up and do what i can but it feels so overwhelmingly pointless i think I'm actively undercutting myself#like I'm actively extending the period in which I can't fully commit myself to any cause or action#i can't even get angry any more and this shit deserves so much anger#but I've been angry for so long i think I've lost track of how to hold it as a live thing#I'm angry about 15 years of social murder in my own country. I'm angry about the ongoing violence against Palestine. I'm angry about Congo.#I'm angry about the death penalty in the US and I'm angry about the ongoing quiet genocide of First Nations people in Canada#and I'm angry about climate change I'm angry that people are burning and freezing around the world. I'm angry and I'm fucking scared#but none of that's GOING anywhere and none of it seems to be worth shit and at some point it just gets ossified#it's not like. a driving force at the moment. it's not propelling me it's not doing anything it's just a constant scab yk#i need. to feel like my anger has any kind of worth or does any kind of good. and that's not there it's just so built up.#i need too flush it out and start with it fresh and keen#cause at this stage yeah I'm just too tired by it to feel it intensely. it's just background noise.#i see the thing about Trump bringing back the federal death penalty or i watch my government debate how best to attack migrants#and I'm just like. 'oh. that's bad. that is a bad thing that's happening.' and i feel nothing#because at this point I'm so used to be information causing anger and fear and hopelessness that it doesn't like. register as a feeling.#this isn't happening about everything. i can still feel things on an interpersonal level. but that like. systems anger.#it's not landing cause i am so struggling emotionally to feel like i can do a single thing with it#like not just stuff happening Over There but here too. people i live being attacked out neglected by structural forces.#I'm succumbing to the 'oh. that's bad.' bc honestly i just have run out of road in being angry#i don't think it's permanent i think I'm just exhausted
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Chill, Sub-Commander (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#DAX#ZEX#Teisel#The Captain#Haha yeah good luck with that one#This scenario is basically tailor-made for exactly Zero VUX to be chill about - ZEX included he just has no chill in the other direction lol#The set up of DAX near-missing ZEX because they didn't recognize each other yet has some fun comedy hijinks about it hehe#Literally in the same room! ZEX doesn't know he's there and DAX doesn't know who to look for! Or if ZEX is there yet either to be fair haha#I love ZEX's asides of ''Got Teisel .D Very helpful very useful'' and then - lol#It was kinda like that in his first run as well tho :') Too many disappearances! Weh#But he has DAX now ♪ And Zelnick!! :DD#Which DAX is just ecstatic about lol no hard feelings there at all hahaha#Don't be rude DAX#Zelnick is so sweet honestly hehe <3 Willing to put up with all sorts of VUX silliness hehe#Really gets - well not the full VUX spectrum DAX isn't /disgusted/ by him (at least not visually lol he Is very angry haha)#But still a good range of reactions! Pursuit and not-that to be sure hehehe#Everyone's dynamic is so fuuunnnn ahh <3 ZEX nad DAX sweet and trusting - ZEX and Zelnick heated and adorable#And DAX and Zelnick! What will they be what will they do :3c#Hehe I loved his little bit of anger that he swallowed to keep the peace so measured Captain ♪#Meanwhile DAX is not at all trying to be subtle about how mad he is lol#He's all DX< about it hahaha#Certainly this situation and these circumstances won't affect him at all and he'll stay just as annoyed and aloof from the Captain as always#I'm sure that'll be the case :) Hehehehehe
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IT'S EMMA ANGST HOURS
you know, I've written an awful lot of female/feminine characters that are treated harshly or without respect from their male/masculine counterparts. Emma is probably the biggest example of this, where she, the "only girl" in her Gup group, is often scolded like she's a child or protected from the outside world because she's too "fragile" and "weak". boy I sure hope this doesn't mirror past experiences i've had as someone who's grown up as a girl and OH WAIT IT DOES
The most tragic part of it is, no matter how much Emma tries to hold her own, she's just not able to get to that level of independence that other characters like Rosemary and Polly have, or hell, even Dashi and Tweak from the actual source material
Emma's the most held-back character I've probably ever written, period, and ESPECIALLY the most held-back lady
She's held down by her own self-confidence some of the time, but most of that is direct result of the constant misogyny, babying, and general disrespect by the people she's closest to. Regardless of if them mean it or not, it's still disrespect
#there's a lot of other factors aside from her gender that make people so shit to her in-canon and some of these may Also be a bit of +#+ self projection. as there always is. sadly#emma's my favourite gup spirit and i'm being SO CAREFUL about writing her for the webseries but i also have to remember that#not every experience with sexism/ageism/etc is universal. i am allowed to pull from my own experiences. i have to know this#im not sure why im talking about it now but it's especially important in regards to emma because she's one of the most frequent characters#yeah rosemary is important and polly is like the Main Antagonist but emma is overlooked despite appearing MORE than rosie. even in-rp#honestly i've been avoiding this subject for a long time on part of some personal shit about it but we had to get here sooner or later. so.#to end it off i think that emma should be allowed to be angry about this. i'm angry about it so why can't she yk#bottled up rage about this kind of thing hasn't been helping me and it certainly wont be helping her so i dare say she even should Yell#thanks for coming to my ted talk#hershel’s octonauts au#octonauts gups#i came here with emma angst and left with the basis for an essay on misogyny in yls jesus christ
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Why am I like this
#I'm so frustrated with myself#I wanted to have dinner two hours ago but I just didn't#and now I've sat around for two hours really hungry doing nothing#so I've wasted two hours I could have been productive during#and now I'm barely even hungry anymore I just feel kinda sick and so angry with myself#and I really doubt I'll manage to get anything done once I've finally cooked and eaten dinner#because it's late and I already feel tired#and the fact that I'm so upset with myself certainly doesn't help either#I can't focus when I feel like this I just want to cry and scream and hurt myself#which sounds so dramatic over absolutely nothing I know it's stupid#but I just get like this sometimes#I was already feeling kinda on edge all day and it's just getting worse#everything is so loud and I'm stressed and overwhelmed#my head already really hurt but I just hit it so hard god I'm so stupid I wish I wasn't like this#as if giving myself more of a headache was gonna make anything better#god I can't do anything#and why does this man need to watch tv with the volume at max#I fucking hate it here#and now I don't want to eat the thing I was planning on making but there's nothing else and I'm hungry but also not#and I know I can't do anything else until I've eaten but I just don't wanna idk I'm too upset to eat#I wish I was normal#personal
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Listening to "Out There" from the Hunchback of Notre Dame again and I'm like damn that really is a q!Fit and Madagio song huh
#i talk#qsmp talk#''All my life I watch them as I hide up here alone / Hungry for the histories they show me''#''All my life I memorize their faces / Knowing them as they will never know me ''#He is the historian after all#It's his job to tell these tales#Though that song would definitely paint q!Fit as a gentler person#Maybe it would be his younger self before the 2b2t mentality wore him down#guhh it's been a bad morning#Saw some sad FitPac stuff that made me mad then saw some Real Bad untagged upsetting stuff (not fandom related) that Did Not Help#I gotta go back to my old rule of only following blogs that tag stuff. Nobody tags anything these days o(-(#Anyways. Can't do anything about that but CAN do stuff about the FitPac stuff#working on the fic then I'm going to finish that QSMP finale edit#because I'm sick to death of people saying Pac's dead#sighs#I really gotta start distancing myself from the fandom if I'm getting mad about angst#I got too attached to Fit and Pac. I saw too much of myself in their story#I'll always be angry about the admin stuff and poor management ofc but I'm still also just mad they never got a happy ending#it's certainly not as grim as the fandom likes to portray it but man...
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yesterday i got kicked out of a server i was in for a year and a half and which was kinda my main server and where i met most of my current online friends and where most of my friend group in general is in, and i even knew the mods and was pretty good friends with one of them, all because someone pulled the fucking "the dead babies is an israeli hoax" line on me and it made get super kinda passive-aggresive and bitchy in response because i don't know how someone is meant to stay calm after hearing that. which the mods described as "aggressively charged statements" and "touting things with no evidence as if it were fact" and just kicked me out without even like, talking to me first, as if i was just some newbie that came in and started talking shit and not someone very much part of the general friend group. and wow, really makes you realize just how some people live in just a completely different world huh. i guess this is what people mean when they say tone policing
#not that i'm particularly proud of myself for it yeah i wasnt being the nicest person but certainly not to that degree#but yeah i guess i have been extremely angry for a while now#and in fact the more distance i get from it the more i go from sad but forgiving to kinda pissed at them bc that was not okay actually#text tag for text#טאג פוליטי לפוליטיקה
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oh so xena is so angry all the time because she's a lesbian who's terrified of going back home and being forced to marry a man for political reasons and instead she wants to live as honestly as she can and die here in the crusades before that can happen...oh god...
#I gotta take a minute...#way more nuance than I was expecting for one#and I'm glad it was addressed#she could have just been The Angry Lesbian forever and that would have been her character. and she's certainly fierce#but there's layers here...she's scared and unhappy...she wants to live...but to live like that would be a slow death#tatw lb
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🌺 Send this to ten blogs you think are wonderful. 🌺 I love you, my beautiful Star~
AND YOU are the mastermind behind those two culprits
( also lowkey hands you red lilies in return, my cuntness dashing moonlight ;~; )
#𐂃「ᴄʀᴀᴡʟɪɴɢ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜰʀɪᴅɢᴇ」 &&. * 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬.#stolsas#( I CERTAINLY DON'T DESERVE /YOU/#YOU ARE. MY. ENTIRE. NIGHT SKY#MY GALAXY#I'm such a disappointment#so we're just... so appalled ??? && overcome with bliss#anytime we bask in your presence#despite my muse being angry 80% of the time#he really values Stols more than he loves himself :'))#( WE HAVE A HUGE CRUSH )
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