#but I’ve accepted it and I love who I am

[slippinmickeys]

Thank you for expanding Funfetti! I am so thirsty for M&S keep William fics, I can't even tell you. More please? I'll take anything. But can you continue with the Thanksgiving Pageant stuff? What happens next?? please and thank you

“Tell me you didn’t tell him to say that, Mulder.” 

Scully had pulled him into a stairwell the very second they could escape the auditorium without notice. 

“I didn’t tell him to say that,” Mulder answered honestly. 

“Tell me you didn’t tell him to say that and fucking mean it,” she hissed. 

Mulder reached out and grabbed her by the hand, looking her in the eye. 

“I didn’t tell him to say that. I swear. He…” 

“Did he hear us? Did he hear us talking?” 

The boy had been shut up in his room. The idea that he had overheard them was unlikely. 

The third grade class was singing something that sounded an awful lot like ‘Fah Who Doraze’ from The Grinch. In the echo chamber of the stairwell it sounded eerie and hollow.

“Mulder!” Scully hissed. 

Mulder turned his attention fully back to Scully. “I don’t see how,” he finally said. 

“He must have though,” she replied, stepping back, fidgety and distressed. “He must have.”

And then Mulder remembered something. 

“Scully,” he said, his voice low and serious. “The last bit. The smallpox bit. I never said that out loud.”

“What do you mean you never-” 

Mulder watched as the color drained from Scully’s face. 

“I thought it,” he said. “I never…I thought it.”

The implications washed over both of them. 

“Oh my God,” Scully said for the millionth time that night, swallowing thickly and lowering herself to sit on the staircase. 

Mulder, knees popping, sat down next to her. The song ended and there was an underwater sound of polite applause echoing against the painted brick walls of the stairwell.

“You’d hoped it was telekinesis,” he said. “Just telekinesis.”

The baby’s mobile spinning on its own. Stuffies dropping from the air when they walked in the nursery. Umpteen other things they wrote off because it couldn’t have been what they thought it was, because there was a plausible explanation, because it was just a figment of their imagination. 

…Maybe not ‘they.’

“I hate that word.”

“How do you feel about ‘telepathy?’”

Scully turned to glare at him. 

“I’m not trying to raise your ire. But we’ve had fights about this, Scully, and every time you find some kind of plausible deniability.”

“Isn’t that why Blevins hired me?” She was deflecting, now. 

Mulder waited a moment, then reached out and grasped her hand. She didn’t pull back. 

”We both know he’s different. I’ve known for a while. I think you have too. But I also think there’s maybe no more denying it. Don’t you?” 

At some point, even skeptic extraordinaire Dana Scully had to accept what she was finally seeing with her own eyes. 

She sighed heavily. “Do you remember when you told me that maybe he wasn’t what those supersoliders thought he was?”

Mulder nodded, wondering where he was going with this. She turned to him with a look of misery.

“What do I do when it’s me thinking the same thing?”

Mulder turned more fully toward her. “What do you mean?”

Scully paused, sniffed, wouldn’t look him in the eye. “I mean…what if our son isn’t what we thought he was?”

“You mean the fact that he’s different? Special?” he asked. 

Her shoulders wilted. 

“Yes.” Quiet acknowledgement. And then she went on. “It’s not the…supernatural things…not completely, anyway. It’s not those things that are so hard for me to accept.”

“Then what is it?”

“Acknowledging his…gifts…means mourning the loss of the child I thought I had.”

“And embracing the one you do,” Mulder said. He kept all judgement out of his voice. 

Scully finally looked at him, her eyes full of tears. 

“It doesn’t make you love him any less,” Mulder said, knowing what he said was the complete truth. 

Scully looked at the floor and a tear streaked down her nose and swayed for a moment at the end of it before dripping to the floor at their feet. 

“It makes me feel like I have to protect him more,” she sniffed. “It’s going to make his life so much harder. It’s going to make our life so much harder.”

Mulder let go of her hand and put his arm around his shoulders, pulling her in tight. They sat for a moment, the sound of the fourth graders' song pinging through the air in round, hollow drops of sound. He squeezed her into himself once. 

“Scully,” he finally said. “I can’t think of two more qualified people to handle this. Can you?”

The moment was a quantum shift in their lives. Nothing would ever be the same again. But life went on. And you had to go with it. 

She inhaled expansively, sat up straight even under the weight of his arm. “No,” she said after a moment. “That doesn’t mean I have to like it.” She gave him a watery chuckle.

“I suppose not,” he said, standing up and reaching out a hand to her. “Come on,” he went on, hauling her up. “We’ll sneak back in, watch the fifth graders chew some scenery, and be first in line for lemonade and cookies.”      

“We’re going to be fielding some questions,” she said with obvious distaste. 

Mulder swung the stairwell door wide, holding it open for her to walk through. 

“Let ‘em,” he said, following her through. “I’ve got a tight five on Thanksgiving as a tool of assimilation.”

[nickssidewitch]

Hello everyone! ✨

I’ve seen the recent events regarding fully grown adults abusing their power and hurting minors / much younger adults who have only just become adults.

That’s flat-out wrong and disgusting. I am so sorry for everyone who has ever come across that person and was hurt by them. As older adults on the platform, we should be doing our best efforts to protect our younger peers, not harm them or coerce them into things they shouldn’t be doing.

That person tried to sway me into accepting their actions as well, and it made me feel gross and disgusting.

I hear you all and see you all. If you all ever need to talk, vent, or even just have a silly little random chat, my DMs are open! 🥺🤍 Your feelings are valid. Your hurt is valid. Your trauma is valid.

I love you all and wish you all the best. You deserve love. You deserve tenderness. You deserve people who don’t abuse their power on you when you’re vulnerable. 🥺❤️✨

Here’s a virtual hug! I wish I could console you all with more than just words.

[grace-sturnz]

TW! read at your own risk. (@sturniololuv08)

•writing about r@pe is not cute! no matter how many warnings you slap at the top.

•dating an 18 year old as a 28 year old is fucking creepy!!

•pressuring minors into giving personal information is insane behaviour.

•the lack of empathy and remorse honestly makes me lose hope in the world. accept what you did and apologise!!

i’m so proud of everyone who has shared their stories, this was NOT your fault and i am honestly disgusted about everything i’ve heard. i hope everyone involved is okay, sending all my love 💕

[cosmowgyral]

"Love during Cleaning Time"

▪︎ Gilbert von Obsidian

This is a fan translation so please don't expect it to be 100% accurate. Creative liberties have been taken. All content belongs to Cybird. Reblogs are appreciated. Hope you enjoy!

~chapter 4

Gilbert: What is it, little rabbit?

I grabbed Gilbert’s hand that was resting on my cheek.

Emma: Even so, I want to thank you.

Gilbert: …..

Gilbert: You never listen, do you?

Emma: Thank you for accepting it.

Gilbert: I’ll forgive you for your evil deeds.

Emma: …It may be an outrageous thing for me to say, but…

Emma: I guess the most important thing is how I perceive the incident now, isn’t it?

Letting go of his cold hand, I picked up the report that Gilbert was holding.

The entire incident may be frightening to some.

(Even I wouldn’t have been able to accept it so easily in the past.)

Emma: If Michael hadn’t been there, I would have been attacked by bandits.

Emma: It would have been one thing if they just stole the books, but in the worst case scenario, I might have died.

Emma: No matter the circumstances, I was saved by you.

Emma: Whether it was malice or benevolence, that’s for me to decide.

Gilbert: ……

Emma: Moreover, I’ve come to love you now, Gil.

Emma: Maybe it’s difficult to see it as malicious like before.

(Gilbert warns me like this from time to time to help me maintain my sanity.)

(…..I think he’s quite fair.)

Gilbert: Heehee, such a poor thing.

Gilbert: But, I’m glad you don’t hate me for that.

(……….)

Gilbert gently brushed my hand away and stood up.

Gilbert: We should stop chatting for now.

Gilbert: Emma, you can throw that away.

Emma: Even though it was kept so securely?

Gilbert: Yeah, I don’t need it anymore.

Gilbert: The poor little rabbit is now directly under the supervision of the great villain.

(I see.)

(………..)

(Even though I have become Gilbert’s fiancée, I haven’t been able to fully understand what’s inside his heart.)

(But….I think I know what he’s thinking at this very moment.)

Emma: Gil

I put the report on the shelf and ran towards Gilbert and hugged him.

Gilbert: What is it?

Emma: I’m telling you, this doesn’t mean I’ll forgive everything.

Emma: Sometimes I don’t understand your evil deeds, and at those times I tend to speak up.

Gilbert: Is that so?

Emma: Have you forgotten? I’m watching over you to make sure you don’t cause harm to Rhodolite.

Emma: I’m not the only one being watched, Gil.

(I will determine what is good and what is evil without being misled by Gilbert.)

(That’s….I think that’s what Gilbert expects the most from me.)

Emma: That’s why, don’t worry.

Emma: Even if I love you, I’m not blind.

His blood-coloured eye trembled slightly, and then softened gently.

Gilbert: ….I am at my wit’s end.

Gilbert: You really know everything.

A cold hand strokes my cheek again, and then a shadow falls and covers my lips.

Gilbert: I was finally ready to start cleaning again.

Emma: ..Mmm…Gil..

The great villain didn’t stop pecking at my lips and ran his hands seductively up my waist and back.

Gilbert: I don’t care anymore.

Emma: ..mmm…the cleaning?

Gilbert: You want to do it properly?

Emma: No…

(If you touch me like this, I don’t care either.)

Emma: Maybe…we can do it tomorrow?

The breaths escaping my lips were hot, and my body was already crying out for the cleaning to end.

Gilbert: Ahaha, you’re wicked too, huh?

Emma: You were the one who started first….

Gilbert: Yeah, but…

Gilbert: It’s your fault for responding to it.

(skips to bedroom)

I catch my breath as I bounced back on the jet-black sheets.

Gilbert pinned me down and took off  all my clothes, then continued to caress my skin with frustratingly gentle hands.

There was clear malice in the fingertips that didn’t touch the places I wanted them to touch, but instead just skimmed around it.

(…I’m honestly embarrassed to say it…)

Emma: Now that I think about it…

Emma: Is Michael still in Rhodolite?

Gilbert: Yeah, he’s there.

Emma: Why…ah!

His fingers brushed my nipples, and the throbbing in the depths of my stomach grew even stronger.

Gilbert: Oh my, who said you were the only one Michael was keeping an eye on?

Gilbert: Actually, there is one more person.

(One more person….)

(….Could it be…)

Gilbert: Heehee. You did that on purpose, didn’t you, little rabbit?

Emma: Eh….

Gilbert: To dare to think about another man when I’m right in front of you.

Emma: The only thing I did on purpose was to bring up the topic of Michael.

(I thought if he got jealous, he would touch me more.)

Gilbert: Really? But it doesn’t matter.

Gilbert: I wonder how you can smile so sweetly while thinking of another man.

( I…was smiling.)

(But that’s…..)

Emma: Nghh! Ah, aahh---

Suddenly, the fingers that had been gentle began to strongly stimulate a sensitive spot.

Emma: Wa…wait…..aahh….

My body seemed to be more sensitive than usual, and honey soon began to trickle down between my legs.

Gilbert: That’s terrible. I’m hurt.

I was engulfed in pleasure beyond my imagination----

Just as I was about to lose consciousness, those wicked hands finally let go.

Gilbert: So, what were you smiling about?

Gilbert: Depending on your answer………..you understand, right?

As his fingers flicked my nipple, a moan escaped my lips.

Emma: That’s….n-not…true.

I forced myself to calm my breathing and caught sight of Gilbert’s face through my blurred vision.

Emma: Gil, you…

Emma: I just thought you were a worrywart.

(He can be extremely sweet once he trusts someone.)

(But sometimes, that sweetness can turn into malice.)

Gilbert: It can’t be helped. Because this world…

Gilbert: Contains a lot of stuff that needs cleaning.

[Chapter 3] [Masterlist]

[skyfallscotland]

Onyx Storm, by Rebecca Yarros ⚡️

She was the first to choose me, to elevate me above all others, the first to see every ugly side of me and accept it all, and every single person in this fucking canyon will die before they remove a single one of her scales.

Oh boy, here we go. This is probably going to be the longest review I've done (as it should be, I suppose) and I think I'm going to have to separate my likes and dislikes into separate posts and link them, just to at least try and be more concise.

To be completely honest, I didn't really enjoy the book all that much. When I finished it I just felt confused, empty, and completely overwhelmed. I cried.

It might sound a little stupid to other people, but I think if you've lived with depression, you know how much stock you can end up placing in the little things like this, and your hobbies and obsessions, and what you pour your time and energy into.

So it's hard when you don't enjoy things as much as you expect to. I didn't have lofty expectations for the book at all, in fact I had no clear idea of what exactly I was expecting plot-wise, but I did expect to really like it. A lot of small things piled up to make this unenjoyable for me at times as an experience and I'm having a bit of a hard time with that.

It's not even the book itself, so much as the fact that I kind of feel like I'm the only one who didn't love it, on the outside looking in at a fandom I’ve given a lot for, and worse, that it's killed my drive to write anything for the universe at all.

Overall, and this is my biggest problem, I feel stupid. So many things did not make sense to me. I finished this book feeling like I no longer understand the world building, the foreshadowing, the characters—nothing.

It didn't feel like a cohesive story, there was a lot of info-dumping and more than a handful of threads picked up and pulled on, and never looked at again. I don't have the answers to questions I've had for years, I only have new questions, and a lot of things that happened well...they don't actually matter at all. You could pick a bunch of things and pull them out of the story and the end result will be the same.

Someone on Goodreads said "Onyx Storm felt like a kid lost in a supermarket trying to find their mother." And wow, yeah. Yeah, it did. We went down all the aisles, every single one, and in the end we left without the groceries.

I feel almost like I need to apologise to Iron Flame, because really, her issues feel negligible to me now, in my personal experience. At least then I understood what the hell was going on.

Is this a chicken and egg scenario? Am I the idiot? Even if I am the idiot, should it be written in a way that idiots understand? Because I do not understand, Rebecca. I'm lost.

There just wasn't consistency.

There was no 'kill your darlings' in this book. It felt like there was a lot of fan service, and honestly it really felt like someone had gone onto the subreddit, grabbed a bucket of every theory ever mentioned and then went 'oops' and dropped it all in.

I feel like we shouldn't be learning about how magic works in the second half of book three. You're over 400k words in and you're going to choose now to tell me the dragons actually don't have their own magic? You told me in book one and two that they did. And now they're just four-legged venin?

None of this would be as big of an issue if it was news to Vi, but it's not. We're constantly just having things she apparently knew this whole time dropped on us with zero explanation over and over and over again. If you want to keep things from the reader, write in third person.

I spent half the book going back and re-reading things because I just didn't understand what was going on. Maybe it’s the OCD, maybe I'm an over-thinker, maybe I'm just dumb, but that kind of thing doesn't do it for me, it seems unbalanced and illustrates a lack of continuity from book to book.

In terms of characterisation, I wanted a more badass Vi and I got her, but it feels like there's a massive character development gap missing between 'I don't want to even know the truth in case you hurt me again' and 'I'm going to poison someone, blackmail them, and threaten their children.' Did they deserve it? Sure, but it felt out of place to me.

I've made another post here with the things that frustrated me and the questions I still have, and one here with all the things I did love. Because there were things. There were times I smiled, and laughed, and cried, and quotes I adore.

Ultimately though, my rating for this (on my personal scale) is it’s a good book, it just didn’t do it for me.

And personally? I really really wish it had 🥺❤️‍🩹

[yallwildinrn]

It genuinely really sucks when I see so many people frothing at the mouth to admit being aro isn’t a real queer identity. Esp as someone who is both a lesbian AND aro.

I’ll agree, I face more discrimination as a lesbian. However, the lgbt community isn’t defined by our suffering and pain. It should be defined through queer joy and solidarity in the face of a society that refuses to accept us and making that society accept us!

I don’t want my queerness to only be valid when it’s bc of pain. And even then, being aro WOULD be valid. Because you wanna know what fucking sucks? Knowing I can’t reciprocate feelings. Knowing I’ll be called a heartless masc, awful like the rest of em, by women who will ignore that I won’t fall for them. Knowing I’ll probably be pushed to the back burner in relationships bc of you aren’t dating or married, you’re not a priority. Knowing my options and wants are limited bc a lot of lesbians want a cute, sweet romance - and I can never give them that, and they will never ever want me.

Yeah. No one’s gonna try to kill me for that - and I’m grateful! But shit, it separates me from so many damn people and relationships and options in ways being a lesbian doesn’t always. And again. I don’t want my queerness to only be valid by how many people want to fucking kill me. No offense, I’m not centering my identity on pain. I want to find the joy in it.

[secriden]

I woke up this morning still thinking about Fadel waking up in Style's bed.

I wonder what was running through Fadel's head as he turned to look at Style, eyes still squinting against the too-bright morning light, the unfamiliar comfort of the shape of Style's name on his lips for the very first time. I wonder if he was too sleepy to process how strange it was that he didn't really mind being pinned down by the weight of Style's thigh thrown over his hips; that the sensation was grounding and reassuring rather than being confining or suffocating. I wonder if the thought crossed his mind that he wouldn't mind waking up like this again, wouldn't mind letting someone into his space, wouldn't mind giving someone the bared vulnerability of lying naked and unprotected with all the implications of unwavering trust that has -- not if it was with him.

I wonder if Fadel registered the way his heartbeat is steady and calm despite the strange surroundings and unfamiliar bed, because something in him has already labelled the person lying next to him as safe.

I wonder if Fadel even understood that this, right here, in all its quiet and unacknowledged stillness, was the moment he fell in love?

[sunnibits]

ok but can we talk about the transition from being the weird unattractive girl/boy as a kid to suddenly being percieved as a hot gay person bc that shit is so jarring. but also like really wholesome? like wow I don’t have to conform to cishet expectations of attractiveness and actually people find me really attractive for the natural way I look and present myself. that’s so wild.

[backlikeineverleft]

if i don’t hit you up, i wonder how long we’ll go without talking?

[lucky-clover-gazette]

vent

did not expect kissing and realizing i’m lowkey dating a guy to send me down an existential spiral of reminding me that i have only one life to live and then i am going to die without living any other different lives

[thefoxyprince]

It’s fun to make content that’s adult in nature but be celibate & single, it’s a plot twist!

It’s not always easy being a hyper sexual that’s also a hopeless romantic but then I take a look around and remember very quickly why I choose to be single lol

Besides, I’m way too much for just any man to afford (money wise and also I’m just wayyy too kinky lol)

[macabre-crab]

trying to get back into reading so i bought a couple books from barnes and noble. one in particular SCREAMS booktok cringe but i can’t lie, it intrigues me so i will read it and see if it’s actually good or not

[halfricanloveyou]

“hey so we’re gonna need you to focus up and pay attention and not talk for 3 hours straight. and no you can’t look at your phone or ask brief questions or think out loud and 98% of what will be said won’t apply to you.”

“also i know you have adhd and that you said your adderall wore off but so do i. you just have to learn.”

do you seriously think i am capable of that. what if i blew you up with a cool wizard beam attack? what if the beam was purple.

[sodacowboy]

so. the dolls of my original characters. for now I’m only planning for Sol and Lazul and I’ve run into the problem of wanting them to have outfits that fit with their respective home planet’s fashions and also wanting them to match.

[matchamiko]

You know, there’s something to explored in girls who cried to their mothers about feeling ugly and thinking no one wanted them; only to be met with ‘what can you do to change that’ and other solutions regarding weightloss or altering their appearance instead of being reassured that they’re the most beautiful girl in the world and anyone would be lucky to love them….

[fingertipsmp3]

Next time I wake up in the middle of the night I’m actually not going back to sleep. Because why did those extra 2.5 hours I got contain the most bizarre storyline ever