#sorry for venting i know it’s annoying it’s just fuck man…
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lucky-clover-gazette · 1 month ago
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vent
did not expect kissing and realizing i’m lowkey dating a guy to send me down an existential spiral of reminding me that i have only one life to live and then i am going to die without living any other different lives
#but i’ve been wasting time not exploring at all!!#doesn’t have to be a forever person it’s just an experience#but still#it’s really weird and idk!!!!#and if i date this guy fr i would have to like go on birth control probably and holy shit i do NOT want more medication#and what if i meet someone else?#i don’t exactly want to commit y’know???#but i’m halfway through my twenties and i don’t know how much time i actually have and if i think about it too long i hyperventilate#which WOULDN’T HAPPEN if i was just continuing on with being safe and alone!!#and what about women?? i love women!#but when i really love something or someone i go crazy about it#i lose myself#so maybe realistic and neutral is better?#am i neutral?#i don’t fucking know and my friends for the most part aren’t quite grasping what i’m trying to say#like yes i overthink and yes it might not be that deep to anyone else including the guy#but it NEEDS to be that deep. to me.#because that’s how my brain fucking works.#i don’t take shit lightly and i never have#that’s why i’m better off alone#or with people who are also deeply unchill#but this guy is so chill! and it does make me feel comfortable!#but it’s also like bro is this conversion therapy am i conversion therapying myself?#my entire identity for more than a decade has been based off being single and independent#and the lapses in that are times in my life that i see myself as unambiguously pathetic and embarassing#with men and women#i feel like a fucking unsocialized semiferal cat that wants affection but also doesn’t know how to accept it#and do i even want it? or is it want i know i should want or what would be good for me so im just slowly forcing myself into it?#it’s so much easier. so much simpler. to not have to freak out about this stuff.#sorry for venting i know it’s annoying it’s just fuck man…
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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 15 days ago
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feeling very grateful for the cute barista today who clearly clocked a) my fontaines d.c. tote, and b) the fact i was stuck on a spectacularly bad date, and proceeded to play me an entire playlist of fontaines d.c. and sneak me extra vegan marshmallows with my hot chocolate
#an absolute GEM 💗#we need more people in the world like this#they restored my faith in humanity 🙏#unlike my date#who was… well. i’ve been on worse ones i guess#but he monologued at me for a two and a half hours#and on the rare times i actually managed to get a word in edge ways or voice an opinion#he just twisted it round to suit what he’d been saying#it REALLY annoyed me#the entire thing annoyed me actually#i am so sick and tired of going on dates with straight white men who feel the need to explain everything to you#as if you’re not a person with a mind and experiences of your own#also wtf is the point on going on a date with someone when you aren’t remotely interested in getting to know them???#the man asked me maybe two questions total the entire afternoon#i could write his entire fucking biography#also at the end he said how cool and mysterious i was#and i’m like ????#i’m only mysterious because you’d prefer me to be that than an actual person who you could have had a proper conversation with#*breathes out slowly*#phew okay i was angrier about this than i thought lol#the older i get the less tolerance i have for shit like this 🫠#anyway yeah sorry#vent over 😅#i’m just so annoyed because i have SUCH limited energy atm with my pain and fatigue etc and i just wasted it on him ffs#but then again#the cute barista and the fontaines d.c. and the marshmallows were most definitely not a waste of my energy#they totally saved my day honestly 🙏#fontaines d.c.#lulu posts
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phagodyke · 1 month ago
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wanted to go to the gym social tn but as I was getting my stuff together to go out, a friend said smth that rly pissed me off and now I'm too fucking angry to go out. fucks sake man
#fucking hate ppl commenting on my 'self control' for being sober bc I get it all the fucking time and its so patronising !!!!!!#even if its not intended that way. dont care didnt fucking ask. especially from someone im friends with#but whatever i should know better than to expect ppl to know me#maybe other ppl need discipline to stay sober but i dont bc the alternative is a non option and always has been. not that hard for me#and i have my own self control struggles w other shit man like im not pristine and perfect fuck off. you only dont know abt the#shit i actually fucking struggle with bc i dont know or trust u well enough for that.#and i HATE when ppl fucking imply im susceptible to peer pressure. im not. dont fucking overestimate your influence#ppl act like shit is a choice like actually i have a trauma rooted fear that comes from ppl in my family dying of substance abuse thanks 👍#which i dont expect strangers to know. but my friends should fucking know that!!! but i guess its not worth remembering#whatever it doesnt matter im prolly upset for other reasons im going to go out for a walk to calm down i cant be at home right now#even more fucking annoyed that im missing the gym over this. i shouldve been there an hour ago.#i mean i could still go maybe the cycle ride would stop me feeling mad and blowing everyone up once im there. i doubt it tho#UGH. fucking whatever. whatever whatever whatever. sorry for ventposting i was typing out a longass reply#but its not gonna fucking do anything except come across needlessly aggressive and ruin the conversation#even if i really really want to be needlessly aggressive. and ruin the conversation. but i guess i have the self control to not. lmfao#what if i just killed myself. anyway i think im gonna go get some shitty fast food on this walk and watch a horror movie when im back#.vent
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xx-psych0-rabbit-xx · 4 months ago
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the whole thing of treating pets like family members is real cute until you lose the capability of understanding youre caring for animals n not cute fluffy plushies labeled "child"
my mom INSISTED on adopting 2 somewhat big dogs out of pity last year, she insists on getting attached to pets like theyre her children so thats the cutesy way she originally treated them.we do not have enough space for 2 dogs their size n she refuses to ever play w them or take them on walks (im unable to do that myself bc i cant go where theyre kept without help n shed just get mad.i know she would from experience), most of her interaction w them when shes not cutely calling them her kids bc theyre cute to look at is screaming at them for barking, she literally spends the entire day at times talking abt how she wishes she didnt have them n their food is getting way too expensive for how much money we have.so yk she decided to give them away to this guy w a HUGE farm space proper for dogs like them, ignoring how she treats them one could say its noble she realized theyre not well here n let them go somewhere better for their needs
anyways then in less than a day she threw a hissy fit she wanted her "children" back bc she cannot see pets as animals but as cutesy children who need mommy constantly so the dogs r back at somewhere theyll eventually die of boredom bc their only entertainment is barking at lizards bc my mom cant understand dogs have needs n arent there to play cutesy family roles n look nice.its just your responsability for a pet owner to know your ANIMALS needs, n some ppl r literally just not cut to own pets if they insist on seeing them as "essentially people bc its cute to treat them like they r" than animals w specific needs to be kept
like.on base calling pets family is cute.i get the appeal im willing to play along w being the pets sister bc it IS a cute term to use for fun.but when you do it sm you can no longer understand you own animals n not literal children (granted if she treated a child like that shed land in jail immediately) thats just.honestly youre just kinda stupid n obviously get pets bc theyre cute to have, not bc you want to take care of animals
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kerosene-saint · 5 months ago
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I hate being an aroallo autistic person whose sexually matured before I'm allowed to have sexual liberation
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placeapuppyinmyhair · 1 year ago
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oh no why does it smell like chocolate
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can't wait to get home so i can fucking EAT
#i hateeeeeee traveling with my dad he doesn't fucking eat like a normal person so i don't get enough to eat either#like dude!!!!!! i'm sorry but one pancake and a few hashbrowns and a single slice of pizza is not fucking enough for an entire day!!!!!!#and he has the fucking audacity to get all bitchy when i'm like hey do we have any food in the car#this man brings in a fucking whole bell pepper like that's even reminiscent of a semi filling meal and acts so pissy when i don't want it#he's like oh my god i can't make you rice right now and i literally did not ask him to? like i fucking know that?? but he gets so annoyed#like i'm personally fucking slighting him by being hungry#after barely eating today!!!!!!! and he was all weird about breakfast too#WHICH i might add#we had at fucking two o clock! and i was starving and pissed about that and then he was all critiquing my food choices like his ass isn't#drinking already with his eggs like oh my god and then being like 'is that all?' he starts on 'you'd better finish your food after all that#like IVE been unreasonable by wanting to have food within the first FIVE HOURS of being awake like fuck OFFFFFFFF#ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i get mean when i'm really hungry i just want to go home and sleep in my own bed and eat my own food that i make in my#kitchen when i want it#instead of subsisting off fucking granola bars and restaurant food where there's barely something i can eat half the time#and he has the gall to act like HES the one who's really suffering from my dietary restrictions when half of its his fault anyways#kiwifae says shit#ugh i want to go out to the car and see what i can find but i know his paranoid ass is gonna act like i'm gonna get kidnapped if i'm alone#for five goddamn seconds#vent#fuck it i'm going out cuz it's that or eating the bag of candy in my tote that i really don't want and will make me feel like shit
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dandyshucks · 10 months ago
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ack ough augh me when paranoia gets the better of me smh smh dfsjkl
anyways i am having a rly weird night and deleted the post w the oc first concept drafts, but I can tell yall that their names are Philby and Theodor :]
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tealfruit · 7 months ago
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this is true but can I also just add that like. how about we go a step further and don't worry if transmasculinity is a choice or not. the whole "gender isn't a choice so we shouldn't punish people for who they are" is a great sentiment to start off with, but what about the people who did choose their gender? do we punish them for making the "wrong" choice, or for having the "wrong" reason? or do we remember that bodily autonomy is a thing and that we have no say over other peoples' identities. and, also, that being a man is completely morally neutral. i s2g people need to get over their whole man-hating and/or bioessentialist mindsets and just let men be dudes in peace. whether they chose to be or not.
Transmasculinity is treated as a choice by everyone outside our specific community and I am sick of it. If transmasculinity was a choice I would choose it again, but it isn’t and it’s been used to try to say something shitty about us over and over. Cishet transphobes say we chose it because we’re mentally ill and taking it out on our bodies. Cis lesbian transphobes say we’re gender traitors responding to misogyny and lesbophobia by giving up womanhood and trying to become straight. Cis gay transphobes say we’re trying to trick gay men into sleeping with women. Trans transandrophobes say we just wanted to move up a rung in the patriarchy and use our male privilege to step on transfems. Consider that I’m literally just some guy trying to live my life without any ulterior motives or whatever.
#i wanted to talk more about this also but i didnt wanna derail too hard so ill just keep this lart in the tags#ive been on tumblr for 10 years and i will not pretend that the culture here is reflective of society as a whole#quite the opposite in many ways and for good reason much of the time#however i also saw (and was often a part of!) the waves of feminist thought taken just far enough to transform into misandry#people supporting and uplifting women was incredible and fantastic and things like the MeToo movement were so important#but in some corners there was a trade-off where suddenly all men were the bad guy 100% of the time#ik 'not all men' was kinda an MRA dogwhistle for a while. or at the very least really fucking annoying#when i (a woman at the time) wanted to vent about the men who had sexually abused or harassed me that was like. not the LAST thing i wanted#to hear but it certainly was close.#discovering feminism and related movements thru tumblr made me actually proud to be a woman in all the ways i was#it was real good for my self-esteem in certain ways. esp as a fat woman who was also discovering her sexuality and neurodiversity#but on the darker side of it i had internalized a nice heaping helping of the 'men=monsters' mindset#to the point that when my gender changed and became fluid i could not feel comfortable calling myself a man when i was one#i was in my 20s calling myself a Boi because i was too ashamed of the idea of being a man#no shade to all the Bois out there. u do u. but i know why i was doing it and it was the Shame. bc being a man is Shameful.#you still see it in the 'sorry for liking men' thing too#its such an easy slide from 'patrarchy is bad' to 'patriarchy = men so men are bad'#when its really way more complex than that#i have a lot of other thoughts about this but. yall dont need my entire sexism rant. i hope.#id just be preaching to the choir at that point. i hope. right? yall know this shit right??? please?#ugh. anyway.#tldr being a man isnt inherently evil can we please fucking stop acting like it is
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madaracore · 1 year ago
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#dont read this is just. Venting. the way thats easiest for me to get it all out#not to depressionpost but im so fucking lonely its not even funny#i just would like to be able to feel Loved#which is silly bc logically i KNOW that im loved by my (very small) circle but#object permanence or. I guess emotional permanence or WHATEVER you call it just hasnt worked for me in such a long time#and its so very hard to not lash out and be awful in my misery to the ppl around me whenever that bpd switch gets flipped#ik im overly clingy and annoying and hard to get along with. I love and want to be loved and needed like a whimpering dog. i KNOW this.#and ik it doesnt help that every horrible awful clingy insecurity gets amplified by the abandonment and bullying and hurt ive faced#i constantly feel like ive been left on the curb by my loved ones even though i know thats not whats happening.#like im stuck in last place again and again and again. like im not as good or as cherished as their other people.#Its so hard. it makes me want to say and do awful things bc i feel so Abandoned and I HATE IT!!!!!#i fixate on my loved one and get these possessive and insecure feelings over them and its so UGLY.#it was bad enough in high school but Everything Else Thats Happened has made that problem of mine so much harder to cope with and ignore#train derailed but re: the first point. its so hard for me to actually feel like people care and want me around.#And now ive become too afraid to ask for anything bc of how many times theyve cancelled or forgot or ignored the plans we make together.#like is it a me thing? Am i that forgettable? am i that insufferable? why am i always the odd man out?#ugh#Nothing i said makes sense. But whatever#okay sorry this is just a better alternative than hurting myself so.#i hate being alone. i hate having no support system. i hate being stuck in a traumatic and abusive situation i cant get myself out of.#it gets harder and harder to convince myself to keep going.#every day i wake up feeling so Abandoned that i consider sabotaging every good relationship left in my life rehoming my pets n then kms-ing#haha. 🤟🤟🤟🤟#Its hard dealinh with traumatic personality disorders#while also dealing with perpetual ptsd-triggering and almost complete isolation
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phagodyke · 1 month ago
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kind of annoys me sometimes how I can happily listen to my roommate explain the entire plot of whatever she's currently into but when it comes to my interests she can only listen for a few mins before wordlessly walking out of the room
#ive only slept 4 hours and its a sunday so im probably just cranky and getting irrationally annoyed idk.#but i wanted to talk abt revenant gun bc im enjoying it and havent gotten to discuss it w anyone :-(#i dont wanna post on here bc i dont wanna see spoilers and i dont have anything to say that other fans would find particularly interesting#ik half the arcs of the veilguard characters despite the fact ill never play it bc i like listening to her + hearing her opinions#but damn i guess she doesnt gaf shes got better things to do. im not being fair i get we jusr socialise differently n thats fine.#and ik its not true but sometimes i feel like she doesnt like being around me very much bc shes always halfway out the door#and she doesnt suggest we watch shit together anymore n has turned me down the last few times ive suggested it#but ik shes doing shit w other ppl shes always calling n playing games n stuff w other friends so well maybe its a little true#and she acts so strange around me sometimes like she'll move to the other side of the room if i go open the fridge or whatever#like damn girl im not gonna fucking bite u. whats up with the constant 5ft distance. bc u dont ever do that with other friends just me.#and then it pisses me off when it sort of comes up as a side thing to smth else bc it ONLY ever comes up around other ppl she'll never#bring it up directly with me and she'll blame it on me as if we havent had this conversation multiple times where ive explained exactly#why im weird abt shit sometimes and where my boundaries are and what i would like and then nothing at all changes#like last time she brought it up around another friend she was like oh well we can hug more if u want like no we fucking cant bc u act#like we're magnetically repulsed u hate me being in ur space and only tolerate it when we're around other ppl which is why it makes ME#uncomfortable when she does try to be physically affectionate or whatever bc she 100% exclusively does it in front of others#like man u dont have to put on a fucking performance??? or even worse do it just bc u feel guilty abt leaving me out i hate being pitied#even if ik i very obviously do get hurt at being left out. but thats my problem man i would never fuck w someone elses boundaries#i hate hate hate when ppl have inconsistent conditional boundaries and never communicate what the fucking conditions are so theyre#constantly moving the benchposts around and acting unpredictably like how am i supposed to know where they are!!!!!! please#snd then so embarrassing to pointedly say its bc of MY behaviour in front of someone else like oh ok. u couldnt have told me this before.#in private so we could actually communicatr. sorry this has gotten so off track im feeling so gross this morning and everything is#frustrating me im so tired i feel nauseous ughhhh#okay well anyway. got my list of tasks lets just focus on this shit instead before i spend yet another sunday miserably ruminating#.vent#im not actually mad at her or anything like i said we just socialise differently we have different incompatible flavours of autism#and thats not her fault but its just so frustrating that we cant seem to communicate very well. i think im allowed to be frustrated#anyway yeah sorry im leaving it im leaving it. i should go polish my boots before i shower
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poisonousquinzel · 4 months ago
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no amount of harlivy being openly together will ever be enough to fix what they've decided to write, produce, animate and air in their 4 seasons to be completely frank.
i care about harley more. i'm for harlivy because of her, i am here for her and her alone. no amount of gayness will ever get this show in my good graces again when they have characteristically massacred my girl, undermined the severity of her origin & prior relationship while hitting every offensive stereotype, joke or idea they possible could throw in.
harlivy being canon and bringing their relationship progression to the attention of a larger audience is quite genuinely the one positive i can say about this universe. But that's it.
them adding that nasty sexist fuckhead to harley's gang immediately should have been enough to clue me in to what we were getting into,, but alas, I was in high-school and didn't care that much about any of this. [But now I do and yall get to hear about it<3]
i will never emotionally get over how we could have a serious, mature r rated animated show focused around Harley and how it could have really shown the horrific and traumatizing aspects of her character/journey that the films didn't, could have shown her struggle with hearing voices and seeing lil Harleen, could have shown her growth as she recovers and deals with the PTSD she would have after being with him
and instead we got.... an offensive, problematic parody show that's essentially redeemed her abuser so he could be made into just another humourous reoccurring character instead of treating his actions like the serious, traumatic vile actions they were, that treats sa victims like drama queen objects to be commented about and gawked at, and then kills them (???) They fucking killed Nightwing and made it so they buried him on his stomach so his coffin could have an ass outline ITS VILE WHAT THE FUCK
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exhaslo · 1 year ago
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Kinktober Day 20- Roommate!Miguel x Reader
*Requested by Reader ;) *
        It was your third year of college and you had decided to get one of the dorm houses right next to the college. Finally! No more small apartment in a large dorm hall; no more random fire alarms because someone didn't know how long to cook popcorn; no more being locked out of your dorm room because you were in a shared bathroom; and finally, no more loud and obnoxious roommates. Having this house meant that you picked your roommate. You had your freedom.
        What better than a roommate who is going to have their heads stuck in the books or at the library? You interviewed so many people, but only one caught your attention as the perfect roommate. 
Miguel O'Hara
         The man was not only eye candy, but one of the smartest students on campus. Correction, he was the smartest student. You were surprised when he was in the hunt for a roommate. The two of you got along and you decided to go with him. All you ever heard about him was either girls wanting to fuck him, or that he was a hardass who kept his head in the books. A perfect roommate.
         Things were going smoothly for the first few months. You barely saw him due to your conflicting schedules, but he kept his part of the house clean. There was never any loud noise from his room, nor was there any reason to complain. The only little issue you were having was that he was too fucking sexy.
        Lord did the impure thoughts start when you saw him exit the shower one day. You swore drool was coming out of your mouth as you stared at him. You would have never thought that Miguel was so fit. No wonder why all the girls on campus wanted to date him. The man had a body of a god!
"Perhaps I should charge a fee," Miguel said, waking you from your trance. Your face was flustered,
"Sorry! I was just surprised!" You admitted, hiding your embarrassment. 
"Surprised it took you long enough to know why I like to hide here instead of the library?" You could have sworn you saw a smirk on his face, "Midterms are coming up. Let me know if you need help...studying."
        Oh man, you were embarrassed. Since then, Miguel had gotten a little more snarky with you. In a playful manner. Honestly, it felt like he was pulling st your heart strings. The man was smart, hot and a menace to your thoughts. You were ashamed to say that you had thought about your roommate a lot at night as you played with yourself.
        You weren't the only one. Miguel was pumping his dick in his hand every night to the thought of you under him. You were pretty dangerous to be around. Walking around in your underwear and a shirt; laying on the couch; hell, Miguel was even aroused by you cooking dinner. In his eyes, you were already his. He just hadn't sealed the deal yet.
"Argh, I hate men!" You cried out, planting your face onto the couch. Miguel was sitting on the side chair,
"Including me?" He asked, not straying away from his essay. You huffed, face him,
"No..."
"Good, now who do I have to beat up for annoying my precious roommate?"
"Hahaaa, just one of my classmates. We were doing a project and he had the gall to tell me I had no idea what I'm doing. I fucking major in the subject!"
       As you were venting, Miguel was staring at you. He found it cute how red your cheeks got when you were angry. How tight your clothes were against your body. Miguel wanted to see you strip. To get lazy and comfy. It was something only for his eyes to see. He moved his laptop over his bulge, wanting to hide the fact that he was getting turned on from just staring at you.
"And then he had the absolute nerve after all that to ask me out! Like, why would I want to date a rude snob like him?! After I said hell no, he called me a bitch and went to shit talk me to his friends!" You whimpered, tears threatening to spill. 
        Miguel immediately went to your aid. He brought you a box of tissues, sitting beside you now. You rested your head against his shoulder, trying your best to not cry.
"I can beat him up for you, amor. (love). You can do so much better."
"Haha, thanks Miguel."
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          After that, you went back to your hard studies since Finals were around the corner. That boy who had bothered you prior stopped bothering you completely. In fact, he avoided you. It was strange, but you were happy about it. All you needed was to pass your classes. Miguel helped you study for midterms, perhaps he was willing to help you again for finals?
        You were sitting in your shared living room, waiting for Miguel's class to get out. You were getting frustrated from trying to figure out stuff from another class. Glancing at the time, you inhaled deeply. There was still plenty of time before Miguel came home, you could use a little destress. Laying against the couch, you spread your legs and began to rub your clit was massaging you breast.
"Mhm, Miguel," You closed your eyes, imaging that it was Miguel toying with your body.
        Raising your hips, you started to feverishly rub your clit. Whines coming out as you desperately wanted Miguel to touch you. You lowered your fingers to your aching hole, doing your best to finger yourself.
"Miguel!" You whined.
"Fuck," Miguel groaned as he walked through the door. You gasped loudly, fixing yourself, 
"M-Miguel!? Y-Your c-class-?!" You panicked. Miguel hurried to your side,
"Don't you fucking stop now." He groaned, his hands making haste into your shorts, "Fuck, hearing your moans when I walk in. Cómo puedo contenerme? (How can I hold myself back?)"
       You gasped as Miguel had you pinned to the couch. His hands quickly replaced yours and he entered two digits into your wet cunt. You moaned, arching your back into the couch as he pumped his fingers roughly. Your pussy clentching down against his hand whike your hips moved against his palm. His fingers were so thick, bigger than some of your toys. He was already stretching you out.
"Hah, ah, M-Miguel..." You whimpered a moan as he curled his fingers. Miguel licked his lips,
"Qué hermoso. Tu cuerpo se está desmoronando por mi culpa. (How beautiful. Your body just falling apart because of me.)" You trembled as you reached your first orgasm, "What a naughty roommate. Teasing me so much."
        You panted heavily, never experience an orgasm like that before. You followed Miguel's gaze, watching him undo his pants as he licked his fingers. His pupils almost looked blown once he had a taste of you. It made you wetter. Finally, all of those wet dreams you've had of fucking your roommate was about to come true. Miguel cussed lowly as his belt got in the way.
"I never seen you this stressed," You teased, helping him undo his pants, "How long have you been wanting this?"
"Why do you think I became your roommate?" Miguel watched your reaction towards his large dick, "You?"
"Before midterms,"
        You stroked his dick with both hands. His low rumbling groans were turning you on more. You brought your lips to his tip, licking the precum that had started to drip. You winced at the salty taste but continued to suck him. Miguel's hand rested on your head as you bobbed your head against him. It was difficult and you could not take him fully, but Miguel seemed to enjoy it. Tears formed from the corner of your eyes as Miguel forced your head lower.
        Muffling against his dick, Miguel stopped, allowing you to breathe. You crawled over his lap, positioning his dick over your soaked hole. Miguel held your hips and placed you on your back before entering. The two of you moaned in unison. Miguel held your legs up as he stretched you out. Miguel was destroying your pussy and he hadn't even moved yet. You gripped the couch's blanket, raising your hips as he kept pushing himself inside.
"Looks like you need help with your finals," Miguel groaned, watching your pussy suck his dick as he finally fit his whole length, "Let me start by teaching this naughty pussy a lesson."
"Mhm, p-please," You begged. Miguel pulled back then slapped his length into you with force, "Ah~!" You cried out.
"Qué compañera de cuarto más cachonda. ¿A punto de romperse después de un solo empujón de mi polla? Tu coño fue hecho solo para mí. Mira lo mojada que estás, sólo para mí. (What a slutty roommate. About to break after just one thrust of my dick? Your pussy was made just for me. Look at how wet you are, just for me.)"
"M-Miguel!" 
        You gasped for air as he fucked your brains out. Each thrust was bringing your orgasm closer and closer. Miguel grabbed your breasts, playing with them as he sucked on your collarbone. His dick pounding you relentlessly. He had his body pinned against you like an animal in heat, refusing to let you go. You wrapped your arms around his neck, moaning into his ear as you reached another orgasm. Miguel shivered in delight and decided to reward you. He slammed his cock a few more times, filling your womb with his cum.
"Looks like you're going to need a lot more lessons, cariño (sweetheart). But don't worry, I won't charge my dear roommate."
"Y-You better not." You huffed. Miguel smirked as he gave you another slap of his dick, "W-Wait~ Mhm, d-don't...d-do that." Your whines turned into moans as Miguel kept abusing your poor cunt.
"After waiting this long, you really don't think I'm not going to fuck you dumb? Gotta make sure I keep tutoring you."
"Hah, hah, y-yes," You replied, throwing your head back in pleasure.
        You did not care how many times you needed to ask Miguel for help. You knew that he would tutor you seriously. It was your payment that you really looked forward too. Anytime either of you were stressed, you two had some of the best sex. When it was time to renew your lease for the house, both you and Miguel did not hesitate to agree. Miguel was the perfect roommate. Perfect boyfriend. You were not letting go of him, and neither was he of you.
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chuusheartattck · 4 months ago
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THAT’S THAT ME ESPRESSO (TTME)
Chapter 26- Nobody knows ☕️
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Exhaustion was the only thing on your mind. You’ve been sitting in your studio for an hour staring at your notebook. You were trying to come up with new songs for your album but you hit a road block. You had no inspiration and the only thing that was plaguing your mind was Scaramouche.
What a joke. How dumb you were. He’s still stuck on your mind even after you “cut him off.” Scaramouche must be doing this on purpose.
Maybe you could use this opportunity to vent out the feelings you had towards him?
Ew as if.
The thought quickly went away when you realized you had to write a full length song about him. You sighed in frustration and closed your notebook. Writers block was the worse thing that has ever happened to you.
Well, one of the worse things.
As you were exiting the studio, you opened the door as someone was about to knock. The door accidentally hits them in the face.
“Holy shit I’m so sorry,” You began to say. It was only then you tried looking at the person, and met eye to eye with the man you were just thinking about.
You were more of a psychic than Mona with how much you think about someone and they appear right in front of you.
You slammed the door shut on his face. What the fuck was he doing here? How did he know where to find you?
Thoughts raced through your mind as the door opened again.
Scaramouche has entered the studio.
Your eyes locked and there was a long moment of silence. Neither of you knew what to say. His indigo eyes piercing into yours. He kept hesitating on what to say. His mind was going blank.
“Get out,” You spoke first. It was the only thing you could say at the moment. You might’ve missed his face, his voice, the way he would look at you in moments like these. However, it wasn’t enough to get you to be less upset with him.
“Y/n.”
“Leave.”
“You’re going to hear me out.”
“Hear you out? Seriously? What more do you have to say to me?”
You didn’t give him a chance to respond before you started yelling at him again.
“Honestly, do you think I’m not upset with you? You repeat the same things over and over again. I’m not going to keep putting up with this you know.”
Something inside of him snapped and he raised his voice at you. He’s scolded you before on tiny things but this one was different. He seemed genuinely mad this time.
“Are you kidding me? Don’t put all the blame on me when you flirt with everyone you meet! Don’t act like you don’t do it on purpose! You rub it in my face and wonder why I get disinterested!”
You laughed at this. You don’t know why. Was it because you basically threw everything down the drain? Was it because you knew that what you’re going to say next will most likely change the way he viewed you? You didn’t care anymore. You felt as though this was past the point of no return.
“Did you ever wonder why I did those things to you? Did you ever look back at the context of my actions? It was whenever you acted like you barely knew me. After falling asleep on facetime, the next day you barely even looked at me in the halls whenever you were with your fatui friends.”
You looked down out of embarrassment. You thought it was embarrassing to admit you were like this. You hadn’t realize how deep your feelings were for Scaramouche.
“I fully understand why you did that now. How different you acted around our friends and switched up with those people. I would be friendly with other people to get your attention. It sounds stupid and corny saying it out loud but it was frustrating to deal with. Imagine spending so much time talking to a person and hanging out with them on some occasions with friends. Only to have them pretend you don’t mean anything to them because their other group of friends are assholes.”
It fell silent between you two. Scaramouche didn’t have anything to say. It was mostly out of complete shock at your sudden confession. You didn’t know what else to say because you felt annoying for even bringing this up to him. You didn’t want to seem like a clingy person for telling him all this.
You simply just chalked it up as a final confession before never seeing him again.
Is that really want you want?
You spoke up again, “It’s all in the past now so I’m no longer bothered by it. I guess my excuse now is how do I know you’re into me at all? Things aren’t the same as it was back then. There were some moments where I thought you might’ve felt something for me but it wasn’t enough confirmation. I’m being honest here when I say I had no intentions of ever ending up with Xiao. After the awards show I felt bad that you probably thought we had something going on. I was going to text you but news came out that you were spotted with someone.”
After those last words it became silent again. Another wave of embarrassment fell over you. Why were you telling him all this? You felt stupid for admitting this to him when you don’t even know what you are with him. It was like you were a crazy ex, only you two never actually dated.
Scaramouche took a step towards you. You didn’t step back. You just froze and continued looking at the ground.
“I’m not going to sit here and say you could’ve told me how you felt. It would be hypocritical of me because I know I’m not good at conveying my feelings either,” You heard him mutter.
You looked up at him.
“I guess I’m a bit sorry on how we turned out.”
“You guess? Either you’re sorry or you’re not,” You retorted. “Actually, don’t answer that.”
Your heart rate was increasing. Having a conversation like this with him made you anxious. You don’t know why.
Was it because he can be unpredictable?
“Go out with me.”
You gave him a perplexed look. What was he saying? Why now out of all times?
“What?”
You were so confused. You didn’t think he was being serious.
“If you think like that then go on a date with me.”
Oh, so he’s not being serious. He’s just pitying you.
“I don’t need your pity.”
He took a step closer to you.
“I’m not pitying you. I wanted to forget everything about you after high school,” Scaramouche crosses his arms. “It wasn’t easy. I started dating rumors so I wouldn’t feel bad about the rumors with you and Xiao. It was a shitty thing to do on both our ends.”
He wasn’t wrong. You knew how the media would be with whoever you hung out with. You didn’t care to deny the rumors either.
“I’m only telling you this now because I ended things with Haypasia.”
You raised an eyebrow. What is he blabbering about now?
“Don’t you think you’re being too hasty? It’s not going to look good to anyone if you stopped seeing her and then start going out with me right after. Your fans will defend you to the core but what about me? I’m going to get chewed up and labeled as a home wrecker. I also don’t know if I could do something like this.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, this is hard to deal with and I don’t want the press to make this even harder,” You sighed in exhaustion. “It’ll look better if I gave Xiao a chance don’t you think?”
“Stop bullshitting.”
You hesitated for a moment, “I’m being serious.”
You weren’t being completely honest. You frankly didn’t care how the media would perceive you because you knew your company would take care of it and it would die down in a few weeks. You were just scared. Scared of your feelings towards him and how he’ll deal with them. You didn’t know if he was going to crush you with them.
“Cut the crap. You hesitated before responding. You know you don’t want this. Stop lying to yourself for once.”
You didn’t respond. You only kept staring at his eyes.
His jaw clenched, “Do you think you can erase me like that?”
It sounded painful coming from him.
“I will. You’ve hurt me so much that it won’t take long to forget you. I’ve also hurt you so you should probably move on as well.”
You wanted to throw up after hearing those words come from your mouth. It isn’t what you want. It’s quite the opposite. You knew deep down this isn’t right.
The room was tense, the air thick with unresolved anger. Scaramouche’s eyes softened for a moment, but he quickly masked it with anger. “I don’t want to move on.”
You stood there, both your faces flushed with anger. Suddenly, the air shifted. His eyes flickered to your lips, and before you knew it, you were pulled towards him. Your lips crashed together in a heated kiss, all the pent-up frustration and emotion pouring out.
His hands gripped your waist tightly as he deepened the kiss. It was filled with all the anger, frustration, and unspoken words between the two of you. It was rough and demanding, a collision of emotions that had been held back for too long. Yet underneath it all, there was a desperate need, a plea for understanding and connection.
Your hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer. The kiss deepened, becoming a dance for passion and fear.
When you two finally broke apart, you both were breathless. Only the heavy panting could be heard.
After realizing what had just transpired, you quickly took a step back. This felt wrong. You two ate each other’s faces after you told him you didn’t want to go out with him.
Scaramouche didn’t look at you, he turned his attention to the floor. Only muttering a simple “sorry” before turning around and leaving.
The door closed and you crouched down on the floor. You have no idea what just happened. You were left only confused. A flurry of emotions were deep inside you but you didn’t know how to react.
How were you supposed to react? Do you tell someone? What does this mean?
It gave you the biggest headache ever thinking about it.
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Masterlist II Previous II Next
A/N: Chapter 26!! I told you it was going to have an absurd moment. Tbh this was my first time writing a kissing scene so sorry if it’s lowk corny 😭😭
ALSOOO lmk if you guys want your users to be added to this au and i’ll make you a twitter user :)
Synopsis: You’re a new idol that just debuted under ‘Fontaine Entertainment’ with your new single ‘Espresso.’ You just graduated high school which means all your classmates are shocked to see you into stardom. Including your old situationship, who happens to be an actor.
Taglist: @skyoverkill1 @quacking-simp @lolmeowing @astro-stars @kaitfae @sl-vega @scarawiki @yuminako @samyayaya @skyvella @kur0kki @practicoi @kukikoooo @scaraenthusiast1 @shutingstar @lloovvv @moonjellyfishie @miy-svz @xionri @lalalaloveallmydays @hearts4lizzzz @kathiwis @state-of-grac3 @morgyyyyyyy @scaradooche @theyluvkatt @meigalaxy @noirechomps @crimxeorcremeexistspeacefully @vxcmx @ariesloves @cayl33n @animeobsessed56 @heartsforni-ki @feikyuu @ichcocat @strayharmony943 @chscklvr @kunikissr @jiminscarmex @sp1ng @bananasquash @aceakariii @thegalaxyisunfolding @ariilies @hisfuture @automaticpatroltragedy @sartrst @cheriswag @kokomiskiss
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bratphilia · 1 year ago
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grasp (w. afton x reader)
request: "I don’t really have a coherent story (just some thots) but i’d kill for some sort of smuttyyy ficlet that has the reader who is very short as in 4 foot 10 and has petite features (just like me 😵‍💫) being picked up and slung over Matthew Lillard!William Afton’s shoulder 🥴🥴 Include reader being scared and trying to wriggle free??? (due to her seeing or knowing something she shouldn’t have about Raglan) and some name-calling like ‘little one’, ‘good girl’ & ‘atta girl’ 🤤 - 🧸"
note: hi nonniebear!! i'm sorry if this fic is a little rushed but i tried to stay true to what you requested! hope you enjoy and feel free to keep sending in more ideas :)
pairing: steve raglan / william afton x reader
tags: bondage, praise kink, fingering, squirting, begging
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fuck. you're really in for it now. 
this yellowish, decaying rabbit stalks towards you, and there are four, sentient and bloodthirsty animatronics behind you. 
you're stuck. 
even worse, the rabbit came from the entrance, so if you were to try to make your escape that way there was a likelihood of you running into his knife.
"please," you find yourself pleading. "please don't kill me."
the rabbit laughs menacingly and bends down to your level. "how about this? i'll give you a head start." 
without any further questions you bolt through the maze of halls and towards the office. you crouch down in front of the vent the rabbit was referring to and unscrew the bolts barricading it. thank god you're small enough to fit in the vents. this might actually work.
then you hear unmistakeable, thumping footsteps coming towards you. 
it only hurries your actions. your heart rate rapidly increases. the screws are so aged with rust that it's hard to—
the door opens with a loud thud. you scream at the noise, and again when you're being lifted off the ground. it's the yellow rabbit. 
it slings you over its shoulder with unmatched strength. you wail incoherent words and pleas as you pound the back of the suit with balled fists. 
"help me!" you scream out to no one. "somebody help!" 
the rabbit wordlessly carries you down the hall, to one of the locked doors you dared not to venture into during your shifts. it carried you down a couple stairs and then set you on a dentist-office-style chair. 
at this point tears are rolling down your face. eyes are shut in fear of looking your captor in the eyes. uncontrollable sobs escape your mouth, praying that these aren't your final moments. then the rabbit wraps both hands (paws?) around your wrists and holds them to the arm handles so that restraints can bolt around them. 
"oh, save it," he says, clearly annoyed with your crying. "i've heard it all before, you don't deserve to die, and all that."
your eyes shoot open. the rabbit's voice no longer sounds robotic and you realize you actually recognize it. 
in a very dramatic fashion, it's steve raglan. your career counsellor, a.k.a the man who got you this job in the first place. 
he almost looks ridiculous in the rabbit suit, which admittedly doesn't add much to his already sizeable frame, but you can't find the humor in the situation in which you could be seconds away from dying in. 
"why?" you find yourself asking, suddenly more curious than hysteric. "why give me this job if you were just going to kill me in the end?" 
"because you got a little too close to the truth, and for some reason, those brats up there were unable to take care of the job themselves," he snarls resentfully. he must be referencing the animatronics. it makes sense now— the kids in the drawings with the yellow rabbit on the wall. 
"it was you. you killed those kids."
steve gives you a horrible smile. one that almost makes you weak, with that dimple you recognize from many conversations in his office. "you finally figured it out."
he walks behind you, shuffling around in the suit, and you crane your neck around to see him taking it off. he's wearing a white tee and dark purple slacks. he's not particularly muscular, but not thin either. it's a build specific to middle aged men. you hate to admit it, but your face flushes when you notice how large his hands are. 
he catches you looking at him and smiles, cocking his head curiously. "see something you like, little night guard?" instantly you whip your head back around. your head is at a moral war with itself, with you being disappointed in yourself that you were actually checking out a child serial killer. 
but steve doesn't leave it alone. once he abandons the suit, he swiftly strides over you. he places both hands on your restraints, caging you in. you shrink into yourself. 
"i think," he says lowly, "i might have a different use for you, little one. one that we can both enjoy." 
you swallow, not saying anything. steve reaches a hand up to slide down your face then cup your jaw. his hands are cold to the touch and it sends shivers down your spine. 
you find your voice. "don't touch me."
"don't touch you? are you sure?" he says cockily and you can only glare at him in response. 
"what if i just..." he trails off, sliding the hands on his face down your neck, your chest, abdomen, and eventually your core. he presses his hand there hard, making you jolt upwards and whimper. "so you don't want me to touch you, is what i'm hearing?"
fuck. this undeniably hot serial killer has you at his disposal and you can't help but feel turned on. if you're going to die, and your chances really aren't looking good for you, maybe you should just...
"please," you murmur, closing your legs so they trap his hand there.
"please, what?"
you swallow. "please fuck me." 
"'atta girl." he grins from ear to ear. "y'know, all that begging you did earlier really did a number on me, but i must say i love this change of heart."
steve starts to undo the buttons of your slacks and begins to pull them down, leaving you bare in your underwear. it's at this point you realize how wet you are, and you try to relieve the tension in your core by squeezing your thighs together but he grabs your legs and presses them to your stomach. you're just so malleable to him.
he tugs off your panties and discards them mindlessly. "look at that," he marvels at your bare skin, "so pretty, little one."
you squirm against the restraints a little. at this point the anticipation will kill you faster than he will. you wish he would just touch you already, but you had to admit all his praises were only adding to your arousal.
steve decides to sit a little further down the chair and wordlessly plunges a finger inside your pussy. he goes deliberately slow, clearly gaging your reaction. "fuck," you mutter, and it takes all your strength to not buck your hips into his movements.
"you need this, don't you, sweet girl?" he muses, stopping the thrusting of his fingers, but still keeping them inside. "tell me."
"please, please, please..." tears coat your lashes from all the teasing. "'need it so bad."
he gives you a kind smile, one you haven't seen since you were back in his office. "good girls get what they ask for. "
steve slides in a second finger and begins to pump faster. it's an improvement but you find yourself needing more. you buck your hips up hoping he would get the message and he simply laughs lowly as he adds a third finger into the mix.
his pace gets progressively faster over time to your delight. the noises coming from your center is absolutely obscene. you can feel your juices dripping down onto the seat.
"ah — ah!" you cry out, feeling your orgasm nearing. "i'm coming — please, slow down—"
you squeeze your eyes shut. all the sudden the chair is abnormally wetter than you would have expected and— oh.
your face burns bright red. "i-i'm sorry..."
he's shocked, mouth agape and eyes slightly widened. then a wolfish grin spreads across his face. "don't you dare apologize, little one, let's try that again."
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k-aay · 7 months ago
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WHAT... MY GIRL?
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synopsis :: when their friend confesses to liking a certain someone that they are very familiar with. but they cannot do anything since they're supposed to keep the relationship a secret. and it's someone they'll never let go no matter how close they are. so what do they do in that situation? featuring :: gojo, geto, nanami, choso, toji, sukuna (part 2/2)
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☆ CHOSO
He sits along the bleachers, watching as you practice with the students and have fun. It's the most beautiful sight: you smiling and laughing while being yourself with others. Seeing that brings a shade of pink to his cheeks, making him feel all warm inside. "Hey," Choso recognizes the voice of his brother beside him. The boy takes a seat beside him, happily admiring the view Choso had seen before. "What's making you so happy today?" Yuji questions. Choso shrugs his shoulders, trying to play cool as he remembers your orders about not telling anyone about your relationship yet. "Nothing."
Being his older brother, Choso noticed everything about Yuji. How he acted when he was embarrassed, upset, happy and as of right now, conflicted. He had something weighing on his mind and Choso spotted that immediately. "What happened?" he breaks the silence, catching Yuji off-guard. He takes a moment to think before sighing. "Okay, you promise you won't tell anyone?" Choso nods his head. "y/n," he speaks, pointing at you. In that moment, the older brother knew what was going on but didn't want to give in to that thought.
He didn't want to admit the fact that his younger sibling had a crush on you. His girlfriend. His partner. "What about her?" he questions, sounding more panicked by the minute. "I like her," Yuji admits. "She's funny, smart and a good person overall!" Of course, Choso knew all of that already. You were everything Yuji described you as and more. He couldn't blame him for falling for you. Even Choso fell head over heels all over again just by the sight of you smiling.
"I know," Choso mumbles shortly after Yuji spoke. "Sorry, I didn't hear you properly. What'd you say?" He could feel a mix of emotions rising but only one of them was clear enough to him: jealousy. "You can't like her. I'm sorry but she's my girlfriend. I don't think I could let go of her so easily."
☆ TOJI
The man watched as his friend, Shiu filled out a few documents lying on the table. Toji knew him well enough that he barely made any mistakes at all. But spilled coffee and papers that were messily completed were all he needed to know to prove that his friend was distracted. Something was on his mind. "The hell is wrong with you?" he asks. "Got a new girlfriend?" Shiu rolls his eyes and continues with his work. "Nothing's wrong with me. And no, I don't have a new girlfriend." Toji lifts his feet and puts them on the nearby coffee table placed in front of him. "Bullshit. Something's wrong."
The sigh that escaped his lips signalled that he was on the edge of venting what was on his mind. "You know the girl that transferred here like a few months ago?" Toji takes a moment to think before something snaps together, "y/n?" Shiu nods his head. "I asked her out the other day but she turned me down and hasn't really spoken to me since." Normally, the man with his feet on the table would've been laughing and teasing his friend about this. This time, seriousness pooled over and left him annoyed and the reason was none other than you. "You asked y/n out?"
Shiu could've been attracted to anyone but of course, it had to be you. With your beautiful face, your intriguing personality and the way you make other people feel. Especially Toji. You made him feel alive in so many different ways no one could ever come close to. "... Yeah?" Shiu answered, causing the other to scoff. "Really, man? You had to ask out my girl?"
"Your girl?" Shiu repeated. "Yes. Don't you ever fucking walk up to her again, alright?"
☆ SUKUNA
He was a lot of things but jealous was never one of them. And he would love to continue that streak. Feeling such a thing for a person he could easily kill? He would rather die himself. You brought him to a party which was, in your opinion, a bad idea now that you really thought about it later on. He was uninterested in everything others did in the crowded place you people called "fun." That's when he saw someone he recognized before while you were chatting with others. They walked up to Sukuna, a blank expression on their face. "Uraume?" he speaks.
"Did you get dragged here too?" they question. Sukuna nods in response, watching as you talk with some guy. "Do you know who that is?" Uraume nods their head, "Yeah. He was running around the entire place earlier and hitting on random women." A feeling within him struck and burned. "Now that I think about it, he did have a thing for y/n." That was more than enough reason to interrupt the chat you were having with this ass. Maybe it was for the reason of your safety, but he couldn't deny the sunken feeling he had in his chest. Jealousy.
It wasn't as bad as he thought. In reality, it gave him a rush. Knowing that you wouldn't dare to be with anyone other than him filled Sukuna with all the reassurance he needed. Also knowing that he could rip off all the limbs of the low-lives who even thought of talking to you to take what was already set as his made his blood boil even more (in a good way?) He stood behind you, placing his arm around your waist.
"Who's your friend here?" he asks carefully, glaring at the so-called "man" in front of him. "Just... someone," you spoke. He lowered his head so his lips reached your ear, "Tell this 'someone' that you have to leave early before he's never seen again."
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