#intelligent and mature and can match my freak and work hard with me

[thefoxyprince]

It’s fun to make content that’s adult in nature but be celibate & single, it’s a plot twist!

It’s not always easy being a hyper sexual that’s also a hopeless romantic but then I take a look around and remember very quickly why I choose to be single lol

Besides, I’m way too much for just any man to afford (money wise and also I’m just wayyy too kinky lol)

[bigskydreaming]

what are your favorite and least favorite tropes in fanfiction regarding dick grayson?

Most of these I feel are probably a given with me given that I am apparently physically incapable of being subtle and am donating my body to science upon my demise so that this phenomenon may be studied. For Science.

(But also like, the funny thing about me is as much as I rant about a few specific topics its only so frequent because there’s actually only a few specific things I gripe about its just that they’re eeeeeeeeeeverywhere.)

Thus, in no particular order, my least favorite Dick Grayson tropes in fanon and in canon because I can’t read apparently OR AT LEAST I CHOOSE NOT TO FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS EXERCISE, JEEZ, LEAVE ME ALONE....

1) Police officer Dick Grayson

2) Dick hated Jason pre-death and/or judges and is incapable of understanding or empathizing with Jason post-his return

3) Police officer Dick Grayson

4) Dick’s loved ones and friends all making jokes and insults out of the nickname he keeps in memory of his parents and Dick being all like lol this is fine, this isn’t debilitating to my self-esteem at all hahaha oh man that was a good one, I AM a Dickface, you nailed it!

5) Police officer Dick Grayson

6) Dick’s loved ones and friends all punching Dick every time he puts a foot out of place and then everyone both in-universe and in-comments being like NO PROBLEMS DETECTED, and also WOW, CHILL OUT DG, TEMPER MUCH?

7) Police officer Dick Grayson

8) Dick fired Tim and callously kicked him out of his home and the city UMM METHINKS THE FUCK NOT

9) Police officer Dick Grayson

10) Only addressing conflicts between Bruce and Dick when using the framing device “when you think about it though isn’t it still like at least half Dick’s fault that Bruce fired him and kicked him out of his home and hit him and guilt-tripped him into doing what he wanted.”

11) Bonus round - sub Dick Grayson. Like, I barely ever read smut in this fandom because I’m like ‘mmm, no thx and also hard pass’ to rape and incest as fetish or porn, and its like....hard enough to find any mature content with Dick that doesn’t overlap with at least one of those so I just kinda stopped looking ages ago, but even just when glancing my eyes past tags while browsing, I just DON’T GET THIS. I tend to be a variety is the spice of life kinda guy and thus usually can make a case for any character going any which way in any number of things, but this is the one character where I’m like, I do not see any angle in which he has a submissive bone in his body. Yeah he has control freak tendencies and there’s that trope about people who spend most of their time in charge wanting to give up control and let go at times, buuuuuut that only actually works with people who don’t fully WANT to be in charge or control to begin with, not people like Dick whose control freak tendencies IMO are directly born of how rarely he gets to be in control of even his own personal life in the first place. Just doesn’t compute for me.

And in no particular order, top ten most favorite Dick Grayson takes in canon and fanon, with these weirdly just being the direct inverse of things I hate because I mentioned the Not Subtle thing and also the Not Actually As Picky As I Often Come Across As, right?

1) Anything other than police officer Dick Grayson

2) Dick and Jason being bros who get along and confide in each other about the stuff they can’t/won’t share with anyone else because they understand each other in ways most others never will, and also also them having Secret History as Brothers BECAUSE THEY ARE BROTHERS WITH HISTORY BUT I FUCKIN’ DIGRESS

3) A Tim who respects and appreciates Dick’s contributions to his life and happiness and the amount of time and effort Dick has put into being there for him often at his own personal expense, even if there have been like one or two times in the grand scheme of thirty years of comic book content when Dick wasn’t able to put Tim first because he felt he had to put someone with directly competing needs to Tim’s first in this particular time and place instead, just like he had so often before put Tim’s needs ahead of others who had competing needs at the time

4) A Bruce who acknowledges his fuck-ups with Dick and actually apologizes instead of just being like “I am going to look at you solemnly with my Apologetic Eyes but its on you to read the Apology clearly present in my Apologetic Eyes cuz that’s the only one you’ll ever get as I am a genius and a renowned playboy but I do not do the words good except for when I am being genius-y and renowedly playboy-y and not Apologetic.” And who also puts in actual work to actually fix things with Dick when he fucks up in that over-the-top-I GOTTA BE THE BEST THERE EVER WAS, POK-E-MON!! kinda over-achieving way in which he does everything in life.

5) An extended Batfamily and hero community who actually ACT like Dick is someone they respect and appreciate and are in awe of for his position and accomplishments in the hero community and the fact that he’s been out there risking his life day in and day out for people almost as long as any other hero out there, and who has in fact been doing this for a FAR greater percentage of his lifetime than any other hero, period. Rather than an extended Batfamily and hero community who just SAY that Dick is respected and appreciated by everyone and this is why actually they resent him and think he’s over-rated, with no actual sign or evidence of Respect, Appreciation and/or Awe on display anywhere at any time ever.

6) A Dick Grayson who is allowed by the narrative to be as hyper-competent and intelligent and multi-skilled as any member of the Batfamily, without feeling a need for qualifiers about him being second best or a good acrobat but not as good at the detective stuff as the others, etc, etc. Noooooope. Nerp. Nuh-uh. Someday I will rise from my death-bed amid my death-throes one last time just long enough to gasp out “The Batfamily’s entire high concept is that they are a family of literal Mary Sues and thus all of them are every bit as intelligent and hyper-competent as the plot demands and its stupid to try and rank them and telling when Dick somehow always ends up ranked bottom last despite being the kid whose very existence as a hyper-competent little genius troll boy is what jumpstarted the kid hero trend in universe in the first place, which is the kind of thing that could ONLY happen if he was impressing and making second-guessers of nay-sayers left and right BUT I FUCKING DIGRESS, GOOD NIGHT NEW YORK, AND SCENE!” At which point I will expire, my work here done.

7) A Dick Grayson who is allowed to get mad and yell when people DO FUCKED UP THINGS LIKE HIT HIM AND BLAME HIM FOR SHIT THAT ISN’T HIS FAULT without this being viewed as a “flaw” and him Being Dick Grayson Badly. Extra points for a Dick Grayson who is allowed to stay centered in his own traumas and tragedies without everyone else around him somehow making it out to be that they’re MORE victimized by the things he is most directly the victim of.

8) A Dick Grayson who eats more than just sugary cereal because he was literally raised from birth even pre-Bruce as a world class athlete and show me one single person that description matches who doesn’t know how to actually keep to a nutritious diet. Yes, by all means have him eat the occasional sugary snack as a treat, that’s fine, but when the take is that this is all he exists on or would be the only thing he exists on if not for the intercession of Actual Adults being like eat your veggies, Dickie, like.....mmmm, but whatcha doin’, fic?

9) A Dick Grayson who doesn’t actually even HAVE to get mad and lose his temper when people do fucked up things like hit him and blame him for shit that isn’t his fault or do nothing but mock and insult him and make him feel bad, because there’s actually other friends and family present who make a point to be like WHOA, HOW ABOUT I SHUT THIS SHIT DOWN LIKE AN INTELLECTUAL, BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS NOT OKAY? I’m just saying, how is it that every single fic and their grandma posits the existence of a swear jar because Alfred will not tolerate uncouth language in his domain, but it coooooooompletely flies over everyone’s head that Alfred of all people would be okay with people casually disrespecting his eldest grandson for the sake of a yawn-worthy punchline every single time someone opens their mouth to say “Dickhead” without even any kind of “Swear jar!” follow-up, let alone a “I don’t know who gave you the idea it was alright to disrespect Master Dick’s memories of his parents, young sirs, but I assure you most assuredly...‘TWAS NOT I.”

10) The existence of literally any other plot for Dick Grayson than one involving or relying on brainwashing. Like, just spitballing here but maybe people would have less trouble acknowledging and remembering the hyper-competence and skilled and genius qualities of the first Batkid if he was able to more often put those things on display instead of just running around 24/7 either brainwashed or brandishing pom-poms in enthusiastic commemoration of the hyper-competence and genius of everyone BUT him.

11) Bonus round - literally any other career choice besides being a cop.

[fates-end-does-vns]

Nogi Wakaba is a Hero: 1/2

that's a familiar looking face. sister or ancestor? sister or ancestor? 

that's a pretty karinish face there 

Second hero diary? What was the first?

>Nogi Sonoko joined the Sanshu Middle School Hero Club.

Starting in the present, I see.

>The Nogi Household's rose bath was like a hot spring.

ahh, wait, that illustration is for this scene isn't it yeah, now I see the black eyes instead of purple

>"That's a cute reaction~ I'm sure the readers would love a character like you~ my creative urges are rising~"

sononononono, don't break the fourth wall

unless you're making fanficion of your friends like fiw twilight, in which case I implore you to reconsider.

>"Yeah, that combination does sound like it could work. So next, how about Nogi?"

do not give sonoka a position of authority outside of combat. it will not end well.

>But yeah, right now, I think that out of all four candidates, I'd recommend Karin as club president. It'll probably be hard for her, but she is the 'perfect hero' after all, so I'm sure she can manage somehow."

ah right karin's more mellowed out now.

>"Okay, I'll read your fortune! ...Okay, I've got the results. This looks like it'll be a good romance!"

show me how you fucked up the tarot itsuki. I won't get too mad.

>"Well~ I'm not sure what I like exactly, but someone who's diligent and takes good care of others would be lovely~. It'd be even more fun if they were way too serious and got reckless from time to time, huh~"

sonogo you're just describing togou

>I wanted some material for my novels, so I asked for some history books to sent in from my family house's archive, and they sent me a huuuumongous amount of them.

HISTORY BOOKS GOTTEM

>"Books that escaped censorship... Those exist?"

fffucking taisha

burnin books too

>It was the same title as the diary Sonoko had recorded when she was worshiped, the Hero Diary.

ahhh so hero diaries are what the taisha make heroes write after they've reached their expiration dates

>It says the diary began to be recorded in July 2015.

so the treepocalypse happened in Next Sunday AD.

>"Nogi... Wakaba... Is she my ancestor~? If she wrote this diary, then does that mean my ancestor was a hero?"

caaaallllled iiiiiiit

y'alright there yuuna

(Prologue: End)

apocalypse magical girls from the far off future of 2018

what the fuck yuuna's is yuuna a time traveller a reincarnatee a cryogenically frozen supersoldier from the distant past

or is this just a coincidence

>Nogi Wakaba, a fifth grader at the time 

>a fifth grader at the time 

>fifth grader at the time 

>fifth grader 

are you fucking kidding me 

that was a joke

so nogi wakaba is basically blond sumi right 

why do these ten year olds have boobs

>One of the star-like objects fell onto the roof of the kagura-den. It was definitely not a bird at all. Its entire body was an almost unnatural white, its size far more gigantic than a human, with an ominous mouth-like organ.

and here's the vertices

>On unsteady feet, Hinata stood up. A strange light imbued her eyes and hex-like words leaked from her mouth.

ahh hinata's got the old possession style sayakafication fairies

I see they're taking the opportunity to do what they can't show on television.

>When she snapped back to her senses, Wakaba was standing up with that very sword in hand. She could've sworn the blade was rusted, but before she  had realised it, the blade was tinged with a vibrant, almost living brilliance.

we sure this is still the magical girl genre? this is giving me Eternity Sword vibes more than anything

>Some changed into a form like the edge of a section of body tissue, stiffening and rising up. (...They're... evolving...?)

that's not how evolution works.

>Three years later-- Nogi Wakaba was now a second year in middle school.

not expecting a time skip of all things. I'll be honest, I was enjoying the hellhole thing.

>Uesato Hinata is a Miko, one who hears divine voices.

miko, huh? interesting.

chapter 1 end.

the fuck is a doi

>After the invasion, a special tree by the name of "Shinju" appeared in Shikoku, and a giant wall made of plant tissue surrounded the island. It is said that the Shinju was the incarnation of the local gods, and the wall was a barrier it put up to stop the Vertex.

"appeared", "it was said". hm, hm, hm~♪

>"Uranophobia."

pff, uranus. but apparently it's "fear of heaven"

>Although it said "hearing the voice of the gods," it was not through common speech, but rather in the form of symbols and suggestive hints that instructions were transmitted to her.

symbols and suggestive hints, huh... so basically it's a horoscope.

>Only the purest of girls

"purest of girls"? what the hell does that even mean in this case

> are able to come in contact with the gods who detest impurity.

oh, the gods are fucking Lunarians.

>An area of the southeastern part of Lake Suwa in Nagano was, like Shikoku, also protected by a barrier where people could live.

...Another barrier? A second tree, or???

noodle discourse

>It let her feel safe knowing there was a friend out there fighting as well.

she's gon die isn't she

oh fuck I'm going to need to memorize at least five sets of speech patterns aren't I

>"I'm not fondling them! I'm trying to tear them off!"

i see hinata has more in common with togou than her hair color

this'll be a joy to get straight 

we even have multiple soft-spoken girls with long black hair 

interesting to note that yuuna's not pictured yet.

>Normal weapons were useless against the Vertex, only those that the Heroes wielded could inflict damage upon them.

so do the weapons have fairies in them or what

>"Taisha" was written with the characters for "Great Shrine," wait a fucking second is this a different organization

yeah yuuna's a time traveller.

chapter 2 end

guess blossoming is already a thing

for some strange reason I feel like wakaba's the only character who matters here.

>And yet Yuuna was less concerned about herself, and more concerned with Chikage who hadn't participated in the battle at all.

yuuna being yuuna

>The next moment, the cylindrical Vertex began forming a clear red plate-shaped structure.

cancer?

>Out of the infinite records available to her, the one Yuuna now chose was "Ichimokuren".

wait, so yuuna's choosing her fairy?

and stuffing it in herself, which is bad.

>Wakaba had dodged the Vertex's charge with the least necessary movement, and at the same time, she bit off part of the enemy's body with her teeth.

don't bite the alien wakaba

>"Wakaba-chan! You can't go eating weird things like that, okay!?"

pff.

chapter 3 end

so is she referring to actual blossoming here or what

>A foul smell hit her the moment she stepped inside.

welp

chikage's in a bad place

chikage's in a really bad place

>They both cursed her existence.

yikes

>Those who had hurt her once were now trying to get on her good side.

garbage people, the lot of them

>(My worth... is in being a hero...)

oh no this won't end well

>It allowed her to exist in seven different places at once. She wouldn't die unless all seven were killed at the same time.

and this is even one of the fairies mentioned in that report.

chapter 4 end

??? I don't get it

oh hey gemini

>"I see! So then maybe we can use the udon as a diversion if it reacts to it!" there is absolutely no way this will work.

>untamarable what kind of pun is that

chapter 5 end

wait a second is that part talking about udon did they censor udon and intelligent? why the hell would the taisha censor information about instant noodles 

>The one who saved her was Yuuna. She suddenly appeared in the midst of the swarm and started holding them off instead of Wakaba. are you sure yuuna's not the protagonist here

so to temporarily stop the vertexes the taisha allegedly went aztec on what were allegedly six mikos those wouldn't happen to actually be these six characters somehow, would they? and I guess Yuuna would be a zombie...?

end of chapter 6

so apparently the divine tree is blaming humans too? fuck that tree.

guess hinata's hair is purple now.

>"...Her consciousness still hasn't returned." so are comas normal for yuuna

this group is a lot less stable than the other ones.

>Now that it had been denied... just how should she fight from now on?

wakaba freaking out about her girlfriend leaving is cute

ah, anzu's trying to cheer her up by point out how many people she’s been helping.

>(But now... I have to get over it.) :V guess the therapists all got eaten

and Chapter 7 ends with another timeskip.

>And perhaps they would keep on changing. *glances at gin's funeral*

>Aki Masuzu clamoured in misery as she changed clothes. oh boy another new character

>However, all communications with Suwa had ceased after last September.

and another tree circle is confirmed just to be killed off lemme guess, they'll disappear one by one until shikoku's all that's left?

>Finally, the Shinju appeared at the end of the path. hup

even in a light novel, the tree isn't described

>Several of the small stars combined into a brilliance unlike anything I've ever seen... leo again?

>There are two kinds of honetsukidori. Chick uses spring chickens while hen uses more mature chicken meat. Chick is more plump, tender, and easier to eat, while hen has a deeper flavour that oozes out the more you chew on its tougher meat. stop it, you're making me hungry

>All Yuuna was doing was cheerfully humming as she cleaned Wakaba's ears-- but not even Hinata was a match for a technique like that. even in other characters' stories, yuuna reigns supreme

>The fierce battle foretold in the oracle in the midst of the war of humanity's last stand would later be called the Battle of Marugame Castle. Oh, so we're getting into a fight that's actually important?

[End of chapter 8]

hmm. you know what, there's only so long you can string me along with splotches of whiteout before I get desensitized to it.

>Would they just blindly increase in size, or would they guide their evolution into an intentional form? The latter.

>By that time, the black shadows wrapping around her foot had already disappeared. what the heck

>Suddenly, Tamako collapsed to her knees. really shouldn'tve tempted fate back there.

>The fairy she had extracted from the Shinju was Minamoto no Yoshitsune, a general with superhuman martial arts thought it was a divine tree, not a throne of heroes.

end of chapter 9.

So are they going on a "trip" outside the wall? Wonder if it's as much of a primordial hellscape as it is in present times...

>Many buildings had been blown out from the inside as if a chemical explosion had occurred within, and traces of heat-deformation could be seen. That's the first unpleasant thing they saw? Guess the vertexes haven't done... whatever to destroy the atmosphere yet.

>For dinner, they were boiling water in a pot to cook some udon they had brought from Shikoku. It was a dry-noodle kind of Sanuki udon that kept well. of course they're eating udon.

>After dinner, everyone went into the river to wash off their sweat. oh boy another fanservice scene bet there's a cg for this too yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

>"If I become a hero and do my best fighting the Vertexes, I can save people. If we keep saving people, then we can slowly but surely take back the world and bring it back to normal. At least that's what I think!" Yuuki Yuuna is a Hero, after all.

>After the heroes had annihilated the Vertexes, they decided to resume moving for the day. even the story is getting bored.

>"Th... there was supposed to be an Osaka-famous rare book store here! How terrible! The last copies of incredibly precious books could be lost to the world now!" all that devestation, and that's what makes you freak out?

>Instead-- they found a heap of several skeletons. That's... odd. They haven't found any bodies so far, have they? I figured the Vertex don't leave anything behind.

>Wakaba noticed a notebook on the floor. She picked it up and looked inside. It was the diary of someone who took refuge in this underground mall.

oh are we going to read a diary in a diary?

chapter 10 end

[chromemuffin]

Shoukoku no Altair Liveblog (Chapter 6)

The first volume was a wild ride filled with more gorgeous art than I had room to gush about.

Let me just say that I love the color palettes used in these covers. Although I don’t really have a good sense for color balance, none of the elements of these extremely detailed and busy covers seem to clash with one another.

There is just so much going on here, even the dark blue sash around his midsection has detailing. The collar, cuffs, and shoes have a really nice flower/vine motif going on, and interestingly there is a lock and key hanging off the shirt collar (which is made to look like an actual collar). Then there is that tassel (how do you even draw knots like that), and the ones crossing his chest. I also like the little flower buttons going up the sleeves?

idk let’s move on.

I have run out of Japanese raws, which is a good thing. Cuts down on my language ramblings a bit. 

Chapter 6: The Council of Generals

We start the volume off with a portrait of Zaganos walking like a badass. Lots of thorns on the frame, and one exits the frame to become that dangly...thing in the back with the eyes and idk I really need to know more about Turkish designs to say anything. I did notice a flower and moon charm thing in the back.

So, first we get a review and additional information about the Diwan, which is nice. This series has a good balance of breaking away to ramble about the world’s structure before going back to the action with our main characters.

Anyway, I love Kato’s attention to detail (have I mentioned that already lol) that extends even to background characters. We never got the name of any of the Araba characters, yet they each looked distinct from one another. Same with the other pasha (there are 42 in all, wow). There’s a good range of features (especially nose shapes, here), but even their clothes and chins are different.

Assuming this is the head-honcho, the buyuk pasha (are these titles capitalized...?) who has glorious facial hair and a very, very large turban.

Oh god, this post is going to be so long. These panels are all really tall.

“And most important of all, military and foreign policy, which are handled by the third convention and decided by a unanimous vote between the 30 vizers.” In case you can’t see it in that image. Interesting how the most ‘important’ section is the only one in the dark, so to say. As we’ve seen, foreign policy and the potential for military action can be a very shade business.

I shrink every image to fit the theme I’m using, just in case it gets wonky if the picture is too large, but it so does not do this shot justice. Just look at the architecture! @the-golden-city has several posts picking apart these tiny details throughout the series, although I haven’t gotten around to reading all of them because for once I want to avoid spoilers.

This hall/chamber is probably based off this real life building in Istanbul:

Even the chandelier, and the railings, match. Getting back to Altair, though,  I vaguely see Zaganos, Mahmut, and Ibrahim at the far right.

Ok, so they are asking why Ibrahim left Hisar for Altin in the first place, which I had almost forgotten about by this point.

Huh, I had to go back to the second chapter. Didn’t quite remember that Zaganos had told everyone to meet up to exchange information.

Whoops, gut reaction there. Why is he so surprised though...? Ibrahim told him why they were called to Altin, so was it that last bit “In regards to that case, I can’t call it anything but recklessness” that shocked him?

Also, add another intimidating face to the cast. The Buyuk Pasha (have a feeling “Pasha” should be in caps) is definitely a guy you do not want to cross.

Lol 

“Mahmut Pasha, quiet, we did not give you permission to speak.” 

“Ok next matter of business.”

“Mahmut Pasha, your turn.”

Oh? I meant to speculate about the aftermath in my last liveblog, but ended up forgetting (chapter 5 was a long one, I was exhausted by the end). We don’t actually know how much time has passed between now and the uprising, only that it’s no longer the month of Seker.

...Are you capable of smiling (without smirking). He is very displeased, yet again.

That splotch of blood. o.o He got stabbed last chapter and is still up and about. You really need to get that patched up, Mahmut. On the next page he’s actually holding his left arm up to it, so.

I’M SO GLAD NO ONE ENDED UP DYING. Seems they may not be out of the water yet, though, with the council deliberating as to their fates.

His mood instantly switches here, from happy/relieved that his friend and his family are safe, to serious. While Ibrahim says it with a smile on his face in front of his kids, he and Mahmut realize that it’s not over yet.

He realizes his own limits here. Things seemed sort of bleak before, but that was nothing compared to what happens after.

Dude doesn’t even bother giving him a real answer. You could confirm or deny, you know, instead of being like that. Though I guess he figures it doesn’t matter at this point, which is true. Or he just likes being mysterious.

I bet Zaganos’s expression would be the same if they had announced the opposite result. I sort of guessed that he’d be let off, but I still breathed a sigh of relief when they reinstated him. I’m weak, ok.

Anyway, more Mahmut expressions! Shocked makes him look younger than he is, and serious makes him more mature. I like how, well, mature he is. These are high stakes, and he knows the severity of the situation well.

Aww look at his shell-shocked face. I guess Mahmut really guessed/feared that they wouldn’t forgive what Ibrahim had done. From the standpoint of someone in their universe though, the result they got must have been very unlikely.

He held it together until he left! In isolation, that face looks a little derpy though.

AW. I needed that. I always love it when that chain with the tassel and (don’t know if it’s a whistle haha that thing) are drawn. And the asymmetry of his outfits. I think I mentioned that in my first liveblog. I usually do not like asymmetrical designs much, but.

And this! This look of unease. I have a baaad feeling about this.

Mahmut’s thought process is fun to read.

HAHA WHAT. WHAT. 

WELL. First, you’ve gotta appreciate this extreme, divine irony going on where the sun is shining on him full force, and yet he’s lost so much in this single instant.

AND THEN. Well, I guess his demotion has to do with the whole war thing. It seems a good portion of them want to go to war, and up until this moment Mahmut has had the initiative and position to resist that. Just because he was younger didn’t mean he had less power as a pasha, but if he no longer has that title...

He’s too stunned to even be sad that his dream, which he had just achieved, was snatched away like that.

But lol at least the council is clear in their intentions: “Please think of it as a sort of permanent house arrest.”

This shot of him walking away...

Talk about a tough position to be in. He was punished the most, even though he did the most to resolve the situation. He’s happy that his friend wasn’t executed, but this is the price.

I love these shots of his front in darkness, with his back to the light. IT’S ALSO REALLY SAD.

As shitty as it is, Halil does have a point. And he prefaces saying this with a “Mah-kun”, so you know he really means it. He clearly cares for this boy, and it’s probably not easy seeing him crash so hard, but Mahmut was simply too young and inexperienced for the position he held. His thought process is getting there in some aspects, but in others he hasn’t experienced enough about the complexities of the world around him. He knows what he wants to change, but not how to do it.

I wonder why they bothered making him a pasha so young, anyway. Turkiye hasn’t gone to war since he was young, so he doesn’t have experience in that, either.

It’s probably even more painful because everything Halil is saying is true. It wasn’t a malicious decision. His look here is like a mix of devastated and a quiet sort of revelation. Like: “....oh.”

Then why did you guys freaking promote him to pasha in the first place. Just saying. But, now it’s out.

Weeelll, at least you’re not banned for life.

God I love this kid so much. He was indignant before he started talking to Halil, but now he realizes the gravity of what he has done. He’s not stubbornly rejecting or acting out against that logic, he’s mature enough to own up to his mistake.

And now...

This is a terrifying “oh shit” moment. He realizes here just how much his mistake has cost him, and not just him, but the country. He has no power to do prevent a war now that he got himself kicked out, essentially. If he’d stayed a pasha, maybe he’d be able to exert enough influence to alter events.

But his expression here as he realizing this is really good.

WHY IS EVERYTHING SAD BASKING IN THE LIGHT OF A THOUSAND SUNS.

Zaganos is heeere. Never know how things are going to go with him around.

HAHAHA. Oh, Zaganos. “I made a mistake and your impulsivity somehow helped me out of it. (thanks I guess) But what you did was still stupid as hell.” That was such backhanded compliments/acknowledgment that you might as well not have said anything at all aside from “That was stupid.”

Oh? You’re actually giving him something?

It’s something useful! I love the little details on this bauble. The intricate knot, the little crescent moon.

Wait, don’t blow up and get angry, I want to know why he’s entrusting this thing to you.

So Zaganos did indeed know and let everything proceed, all of this just to make one very strong point to the council. Geez.

Mahmut, you look so tiny next to him.

This is why I love this kid as a protagonist already. He is intelligent, smart, and hard-working, but he isn’t infallible. Youthful arrogance and inexperience was his downfall. It doesn’t even seem like youthful arrogance while you’re experiencing he situation in Hisar with him. He’s the protagonist, and you know he’s right in that he couldn’t just leave Ibrahim to go down for a crime he didn’t willingly commit.

But, now that he’s realized it, he also acknowledges that it’s pointless to dwell on it and beat himself up. And in that sense, we can see he’s already grown from how he was as a child. Then, he lost hope that he could ever improve and needed Ibrahim to talk him out of his tears.

What Ibrahim gave him is actually really precious, I’m dying here ok, he made Mahmut realize that if he works hard at it, improves himself, he can achieve his dream. Now he knows that he’s just going to need more effort than he thought.

He gets frustrated a lot, and it usually seems to be about himself. I feel bad for him, but on the other hand, like when he got knocked off his horse in cirit and the older guy admonished him, he really needed it.

It didn’t take him long, not even a full day it looks like, to bounce back and resolve himself on a new goal. Seems like his journey has gone a little backwards (don’t protags in manga usually work their way up from rock bottom; Mahmut had one of the highest positions in the country after coming from the bottom up, and now he has to do it again).

This has been a sort of transition chapter (I wouldn’t call it quiet), but by god did it have impact.

← back・onward →

[kathryncalls]

springboarding out of the friend zone

Yes, terrible title I know, but theres something I need to type out, something I need to air. Now I write this, it’s so horrendously typical but I’m still typing so lets see whether I can answer my own questions by writing it out. I feel like everyone else on the internet writes stuff that no one ever reads and it helps, so now its my turn.

I am so confused but so happy but so worried about getting my hopes up. Earlier I said that I’m so excited that I’m almost scared, and I know it’s because it’s too good to be true! You’re you and I still don’t know what that means. But you’ve been this ideal thing that I’ve always pushed aside in my mind, wanted to text because I just love speaking to you but have forced myself not to because we’re too good friends. Never in my life have I suppressed feelings because I genuinely couldn’t lose someone. If this weekend would never have happened then I don’t think I would’ve ever said anything. I know I’ve said 100 times that I don’t like her, but at the end of the day, if she was making you happy then I’m ok with that. It made me happy to hear you say that you were cutting the strings with her, I feel like you really do want me, which is so cool, honestly, it’s so surreal, and it’s stupid to say it’s surreal because surely surreal is going into freaking space, I don’t know it feels stupid to call it that either way. You told me how attractive you found me last night, which was adorable, I like that side of you, and I want to see more of it, but I’m still finding it weird. I want you be with you so much, and its something that Ive known would make me happy for a long time but it’s truly something that I’ve suppressed for years which feels weird to say, but I think that’s why I’m finding it weird to call you something less personal and stuff like that, and also to tell you how attractive I find you and what exactly I love about you. Ok, another thing, this is weird because at this point, we should be finding out about each other and getting to know one another, not telling you what I love about you, but because I’ve classed you as my friend for at least 18 months, I feel like we’ve jumped ahead 3 months… Its weird, I want you to take me on a date, but I don’t because its you, its us, but our first date would be so funny, so much fun, you make me laugh, you bring out the worst in me and your bring out the best, you make me happy to be me which is quite something. With him I felt like I was being someone that I was telling myself I wanted to be a little bit. He didn’t treat me like I wanted to be, but I held on and Im not sure why to be honest. I like to be treated like a princess, lets not lie, but I don’t like to be pandered too, I like to be strong in myself, I don’t want to be a house wife (that wasn’t a proposal, hypothetically) but at the same time, I want to cook you a nice meal for when you finish work, or iron your uniform whilst youre in the shower so you don’t have too. Im not a chocolates and flowers girl, Im a leave a note somewhere kind of girl, send me something that reminds me of us. I like to be a real unit with whoever I dedicate myself too, and I really do, when I dedicate myself to someone, now I know that you don’t do clingy, and I might end up coming across that way, its linked to the whole, me sounding pessimistic thing. I’m really really not feeling negative about any of this. I just do not want to screw it up, I can’t, for so many reasons! I can’t lose you as a friend regardless of what happens romantically between so I need to be careful how I tread here because I’m not prepared to lose you. See as I write that and think about it, maybe this is a bad idea because youre not as worried about our friendship as I am, you don’t seem to have these worries which could be such a bad sign, but at the same time, maybe its because you know exactly what you want? Another thing, you’ve told me multiple times that you’ve cheated before, never anything too serious but still, I cant cope with anyone doing that to me, let alone you, how am I supposed to maintain a friendship post breakup if you do that to me, I almost don’t want to give you the chance too…

Another thing. Distance. Realistically, we’ve both done long distance, and you say that the reason you cheated on her was because she wasn’t right, but you didn’t know that to start with, but now youre so sure, which is amazing, and I love that you think I’m right and that this is right, I agree so much, but again, I don’t want to ruin our friendship. ah shit I hate this feeling. And I keep having this argument with myself about whether its perfect or awful timing so here, pros and cons.

Great timing: You’re about to come home from spending 18 months in Spain, you’re not gonna be living at home, you’re probably going to be in London, you’ve got a job, you’re basically set

Awful timing: youre about to start your career, I’m about to move away from London, I’m about to go back into training, you might be miles away from London, our timetables might not match up

If you haven’t already got the jist, I am not letting this end sourly.

ah shit.

Anyway, finally, why I think you’re great: very intelligent, mature but immature, sociable, lovable, loved by mother, confident, amazing sense of humour, understands my love for the arts, cheeky, emotional, genuine, incredible gentleman and so so sexy, I don’t care how cringe it is, no ones gonna read this

we’re apart for valentines day too, which is weird because thatd be a great first date for us.. so do I send a card as a cute little joke, a serious card, or do I not even mention it? You know how much I want you to make all the first moves, I want to be asked out on date, I wanted to be kissed first, I want to be told I’m loved first ( a long way down the line)

Basically I just want to be excited about this and not have a million reasons why we cant do this cross my mind

we can do this,

no one is stopping us

theres no one to look over our shoulders when its just us, we live in the same town so visiting family together and Christmas wouldn’t be an issue

ahh stop taking everything so seriously, I try and run before I can walk, I think that’s where all the making the first move thing comes from, I don’t know

right now the best thing I could think to be doing is just isolating ourselves, running off to a city somewhere and submerging ourselves, without people watching, like you said, without people wondering why we look so happy, why I laugh at everything you say, why we lock eyes and pause for a little too long, (that’s another thing, when we went for lunch that time at Christmas, we kept locking eyes for just a few seconds too long, and please, I put a fucking dress on for you, you wore a suit, could’ve been taken as signs but I genuinely think we both, well I know for me this is the case, but I reckon we’ve deeply suppressed stuff for so long)

Ok ok, you wanna know when it really hit me that I wanted you for real… when you told me about A. Honestly. You’ve always been the one I’ve thought about when I felt shit in a relationship or when I’m alone, I mean please, ask K, he was sick of hearing about you no doubt, but I did love being with K before things got really hard, but that night when you told me about A in the pub, you know me so well, that ive no idea how you didn’t literally hear my heart sink. but again, supressed to and opted for ‘tell me more’.

I wish I could talk to you about all this, but its been a week since we kissed, that’s all, and 2 weeks ago you wanted to be single for a few years and now you want to be with me, easy for you to say when youre alone in a room in spain, homesick, will you say that when you move in with the boys and meet all the air hostesses, why the fuck do I think I can trust you? do I really think I can change you? like really? I want to think that youll dedicate yourself to me but I CANT LOSE YOU, I hope you understand how much this is paining me

you really don’t know this side of me, ive kept it from you on purpose

if I lose you I have no one

look who I turned too when I split up with H, and again with J and with K. you.

Who do I turn to when its you I split up with? Also, a huge part of my just wants a nice house out of the city where we can live together, with a puppy just us, but that's in the future...

Just come home Ben

(if anyone is still reading this, please, do share your thoughts - a very confused 20yo)