#but I never do it perfectly
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itspileofgoodthings · 11 months ago
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see i have all these spicy takes in the drafts that i don’t post out of self-restraint but then i see a spicy take that i hate SO MUCH and then i want to post mine out of revenge. it’s a terrible cycle tbh.
#it is actually and fundamentally not good for my weaknesses to be here lol#but I also love it! And love the community and the support and don’t find a ready-made replacement for that in real life#so yeah. I wrestle with it#if I could always use it as an opportunity to practice charity and restraint and shutting up it would be a good thing#but I have to be careful with any known potential irritant because I have such a temper and get so genuinely pissed off so easily#while also having poor impulse control#and like. it isn’t fair of me to be out there baiting people with my opinions and being provoking with takes I know will be upsetting#to the circle in which I move on here#but I also love to say a thing I think is true or feel is true and talking my way into a more nuanced opinion is how I do it!#but also like. the simple truth is that it also isn’t kind or charitable or necessary most of the time#no matter how I try to dress it up with comments on my personality and how I learn/like to analyze things#I really wrestle with it. there was a part of me that so at peace when I was gone from tumblr (essentially) for half a year#but again. I missed it#teaching helps a lot. my personality can take the very age-appropriate obnoxiousness and idiocy that comes with talking about literature#to teenagers#but I’m kind of so over trying to have a nuanced conversation online#it’s just so hard. I need the body language and the one to one you can only have in person for certain conversations#and disagreements. tbh it’s better and kinder and just BETTER if i stay out of it online#but I never do it perfectly#I’m just rambling. But yeah#thanks for listening#this has been#3 text posts in a row with Maria
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bishy437 · 10 months ago
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he won
bonus:
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royalarchivist · 4 months ago
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This bit from Jaiden's Miku video reminds me of an old conversation (and a funny / sweet moment) she had with Roier and Mariana on QSMP.
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[ Full Clip + Transcript ]Po
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formulanni · 1 month ago
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Thunderstruck!
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Tag list: @st-leclerc @rubywingsracing @saviour-of-lord @three-days-time @the-wall-is-my-goal @albonoooo @ch3rubd0lls @brawngp2009
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introspectivememories · 1 month ago
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im sorry but i choose to believe that tim drake is the most insufferable "my man, my man, my man" girl about bear. he does not shut up about him. steph is cooking smth in the kitchen? oh my man can do that. bear cooks really well. dick triaging some poor victim on an emergency site? oh my man is really good at that. mhmm, bear is on his way to becoming a paramedic. damian building something? oh my man is really good with power tools. have you ever seen him build ikea? it takes him less than an hour. for our anniversary, he built me a coffee table. mhmm isn't he amazing? yeah my man did that. yeah my man, mhmm that's my ma-
#and on and on and on#like it never fucking stops#jason gets a tattoo? tim manifests in the tattoo parlor to talk about his man's tattoos#'yeah they're sooo gorgeous! he has a grasshopper over his heart cause that's what he calls me! yeah that's like his little nickname for me#'and there's two cardinals in flight on his forearms! isn't that sooo cute!!! he says he's keeping me with him!!!'#and like everyone thought is was cute at first bc like first gay relationship!!! let tim gush about his boyfriend!!!#but then it like quickly and i mean quickly became annoying#like dick puts on his police uniform and tim immediately is like 'have you seen my man in his paramedic uniform? dont his biceps#look so good in it? and he's providing service for those in need without being a pig! isn't my man so great!'#and dick just has to sit there with his eye twitching bc the last time he tried to defend his police job the whole family laughed so hard#they almost cried.#also i hope you know that all of tim's lines are said in a valley girl accent. with the tone of a woman who is so fucking annoying about#her man. like he's the kinda guy at sunday brunch 2 mimosas deep trying to one up bart on like who has the better bf#spoiler alert bart wins only for the sole fact that he's not annoying about kon the way tim is about bear#meanwhile the rest of the group is creating enough of a ruckus that they're like 2 seconds away from getting kicked out of dennys#and while i would like to say that bear knows about this i just think that he has such hearteyes for tim that it completely flies over his#head. like he sees tim and he turns into a fucking idiot. he's putting in the saline line wrong he's doing chest compressions on a guy#who is perfectly fine. he's letting the steak burn on the stove#so theyre like both fucking useless together. and i think that's love.#bernard dowd#tim drake#timbern#timber
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my-darling-boy · 4 months ago
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I love 20th century Navy trousers because when you’re standing upright it’s like oh this is a nice pair of trousers but when you bend over it’s like oh I am the sluttiest man who has ever lived
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artgletic · 1 year ago
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case study of the self-identified god
#obsessed with the fact that rain world is a game about survival#yet every character we meet has the express goal of trying to optimize killing themselves#every creature in game seems perfectly content fulfilling their role in the ecosystem no matter how many cycles they do the same thing#(rly obvious with gourmand's entire route. guy who lives their life to the fullest without the slightest hint of resentment)#it was really only the ancients who thought they were above it and thought of it as something to escape from#5pebbles is so interesting because the only reason hes “”“godlike”“” is because of his vast knowledge. if he was in any slugcats shoes he#would die instantly which is ironically what hes been trying to do this whole time#this comic was kind of exploring the idea of awareness (divinity) as something that drags down ones enjoyment of life (walking).#if 5p would humble himself down enough to walk around like any other creature#he would a) be much happier in life and b) achieve the ascension he's been gunning for for millennia like all the slugcats did#but he never will.#getting rid of all his work on the problem or even his awareness of it entirely#would just be a trick of convenience that steals away his godhood#and him calling himself godlike is kind of a cope LOL#a cope being faced with a problem he was never meant to solve#a cope being faced with what he did to moon#a cope being faced with the rot inside him#oh well.#anyway fuck 5 pebbles i hate that guy#rain world#rain world fanart#rw five pebbles#rain world five pebbles#rw gourmand#rain world gourmand#five pebbles#rain world void worm#rain world ancients#also JUST KIDDING ilu 5p. you suck but i💛u
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yeehawpim · 7 months ago
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extra: the video that got me to do baking🍞
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utilitycaster · 2 months ago
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The thing about Ashton saying "WHAT DO YOU WANT" is that I really do understand that they are coming from a place of great pain and a genuinely awful life (and the Arch Heart doesn't really give a good answer either, which is similarly frustrating) but we keep getting this answer throughout the campaign, if not for the Arch Heart at least for other deities, and it's that most simple and also frustrating of answers: consistent effort.
Why did FCG catch the eye of the Changebringer? consistent, repeated prayer, even if it wasn't perfect and could get kind of silly or even annoying to others. Orym is not a worshiper of the Wildmother, but he still repeatedly has reached out and tried to talk to her in good faith (pun unintended). And looking back at others from past campaigns, we learn of their ongoing service - in the cases of those who are introduced as already faithful, often from a young age (Pike, Caduceus, Jester though her deity is not one of the Prime/Betrayer pantheons). Both Vax and Fjord made considerable sacrifices of their own without promises from the gods first, in addition to smaller, regular moments of worship in the course of their stories.
I've never loved the line about there being no atheists in foxholes, because frankly I think it's unfair to atheists and paints them as selfish, fickle, and spineless when many atheists are none of those things. But I do think that a lot of the anti-god arguments fit into that sort of philosophy, that the gods are only to be paid attention to in the moment of great and desperate need and neglected otherwise, and we've seen the attendants of temples repeatedly say that isn't how it works; it takes time. The gods don't necessarily answer a single yell off the cliffs of Zephrah or a single visit, but they do see the repetition and respond to that.
I think everyone in the fandom, regardless of how they feel about the gods, understands there's not going to be a quick easy painless fix to this mess once Ludinus set it in motion, but I do think a lot of people expect there to be a lot of quick fixes to other things (in the story, in fandom, and in real life). And yeah, it does suck that Ashton, having a terrible time, might have had more luck had they prayed or gone to the same temple regularly for a while without necessarily seeing results...but it's also very real. You do have to take your stupid mental health walks regularly for a while (let alone your meds) before there's a payoff. you do still need to do the dishes while you're depressed or sick lest they pile up and make things worse. consistent effort that doesn't always have immediate satisfying results is extremely unglamorous and also it's how you have to do basically everything in life. Even in a time of crisis you need to avert the crisis and then get back to the slow and consistent work of fixing it and improving things in the aftermath.
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writer-room · 8 months ago
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Its so funny that Arin and Sora have shown to have significantly better emotional intelligence than any of the ninja from all of the old seasons combined. "You should be taking care of your mental health" and "yeah saving the world is upsetting! no wonder you're having stress dreams" oh my precious children. You are surrounded by a teen dad with massive self-worth issues, the only one of two people who remembers the genie incident and also turned into the sea once, guy who's died like 3+ times and committed genocide under mind control, and a child soldier who's been living the hard knock life since age 2.
I hope to god you two are prepared to witness the most mentally unwell behavior you've seen in your entire teenage lives. You think you've already seen how bad it can get now? Fools. Just wait until you get a mission involving the Departed Realm
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ruporas · 2 years ago
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asking and receiving (bonus below readmore)
[ID: A black and white, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood. In the first panel is a close up of Wolfwood's mouth as he says, "Vash". Accompanying it is a close up shot of Vash's eye, widen and cheeks flushed. Wolfwood presses a knee against the open space between Vash's legs and says, "Tell me everything you want from me." Wolfwood's face is equally as flushed. He continues to say, "I'll give it to you. Everything." As he talks, a wide shot shows the both of them in white space. Vash is sitting, leaning a little back with both hands pressed against the surface he's sitting on. Wolfwood is in his white dress shirt, stripped of the blazer. He's still leaning in with one knee in between Vash's spread legs, his right hand touching Vash's lips and his left hand behind his back.
The shot closes in on Vash's mouth and Wolfwood's hand against it, pressing down on the lower lip as he says, "You have to ask though. Go on." His hand moves down to Vash's chin, gently holding it. With a shy and uncertain expression, Vash hesitantly asks, "Um... K... Kiss... Please?" Wolfwood, without wasting a second, leans in and kisses him and indulges by pressing deeper, eliciting a small noise of surprise from Vash.
Wolfwood moves away from Vash first and with a smile, asks, "What else?" Vash tugs on Wolfwood's left sleeve, wordlessly budging Wolfwood to give him his hand that was still behind his back. In the next panel, Vash utters, "Hold me..?" He's holding Wolfwood's left hand with his own while his right hand is reaching for his waist. Wolfwood complies, moving his left hand to Vash's shoulder and his right hand continues to touch Vash's cheek. Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"
More comfortable now, Vash leans in to kiss Wolfwood. Wolfwood catches him immediately, pressing his thumb against Vash's lips to stop him before demanding, "Hey. Ask." Vash looks back in surprise and Wolfwood meets his eye with a quiet, insistent look. They're quiet for a moment before Vash leans in again and curtly requests, "Kiss. Me." Wolfwood says "Good", smiling as he lifts his hand away, and meets Vash's lips. In the next shot, Wolfwood had adjusted his position, sitting on Vash's thigh. The hand that was once on Vash's cheek has moved its way to Vash's nape, pushing away the collar of his jacket with his pinky. His other hand continues to grip on Vash's shoulder. Still kissing, Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"
In the next shot, Vash is starting to turn, moving Wolfwood with him. Vash asks, "Let me on top of you?" Wolfwood says, "Mhm" before asking again, "What else?" The next panel shows a close look of Vash's face. He's looking down, flushed and shy just as he had been at the beginning, but now, more decisive. Vash asks, "Wolfwood... Let me have you..?" A panel of Wolfwood taking Vash's hand into his, pulling it towards his chest. The next panel shows Wolfwood lying down where Vash had laid him. Vash's hand is on Wolfwood's chest, covering the cross of his rosary while Wolfwood's hand lingers against his, loosely pressing Vash's hand in place. He looks up at Vash with a shy smile of his own, flushed cheeks. He says, "All yours."
A panel shows a close up of Vash's tender gaze before he leans down to be closer to Wolfwood. The final shot is a front view of their positions, Vash's face turned away from the viewer; Vash is leaning over Wolfwood who's lying down with his right leg draped over Vash's legs. Wolfwood's left hand holds onto Vash's left arm. With finality, Vash says, "...Mine." End ID]
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[ID: A follow up bonus comic in a looser, sketchier style. They're laying comfortably in bed when Vash asks, "What was that earlier?" referecing to the start of the previous comic. Wolfwood glances away and says, "To get you used to it. Asking. And getting what you ask for. Since you're alwasy hesitant about it." Vash's eyes widen, tight lipped. Wolfwood continues, "Knowing you, it'll be a tough habit to break..." When he says this, Vash can't help but laugh, unable to deny it. Wolfwood slowly brings a hand to Vash's cheek and continues to say, "So I'll keep trying -- whatever ways I can... to get it through your thick skull." Vash takes Wolfwood's hand with his, kissing the the palm gently. Wolfwood's eyes soften and holding onto Vash's cheek, he leans in to try for a kiss. Vash says, "Hey..." before stopping Wolfwood's lips with the back of his hand, a smug look on his face, "Ask." Wolfwood's embarrassed and with little irritation, asks, "Really?" Vash smiles, saying, "You're in need of practice too." They pause for a moment, Wolfwood looking contemplatively, before he's leaning in again, asking, "May I please kiss you?" Vash looks him in the eyes and says, "Yes." The comic ends with a "chu", indicating an off-panel kiss. End ID]
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#it took me so long to post this even after getting clarification about the maturity warning and stuff#bc i am so shy about it. SDGMKDSGMKSD I LIKE THIS COMIC BUT IM ALSO SO LIKE... AUGHHHH....#when i posted this on twitter though it was like... a few days after ep 11? ive always had the thought circling about vash deserving of#asking for things... and getting what he wants bc he never gets both. doesn't get the opportunity to ask and hardly does he get what he want#maybe the results can go in his favor but at some point along the way he'll still lose something bc nothing can ever go perfectly for him...#and he's usually the one begging and pleading with people to not. do something. it's not even asking at that point it's just straight up#please believe me. please trust me. please don't shoot that person. please don't kill anyone. please don't do it.#and wolfwood.... it was not always this lovey dovey ok. he wouldv noticed this habit miles away and they got into a fight about it the first#time they talked about it bc wolfwood is being hypocritical too. as he always is!!!! but i think as they get more intimate#wolfwood finds ways to make vash understand. smth smth insatiable want and love and desire for wolfwood that makes it much easier to ask.#wolfwood can also just be so compliant. sometimes. which is also an issue in of itself that id love to explore at some point#but he also just enjoys giving into vash fully and completely.#bc he loves him a lot. but anyway#i hope the id is comprehendible.... please lmk if there's something wrong with how im doing it asfdgkdsmgs#ruporas art
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nikooo-whathehell · 1 day ago
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FUCK star-crossed lovers trope. It's time for double stars lovers trope NOW.
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The "only you can show me this",
the "you are my partner",
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the "you were never broken",
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the "we finish this together",
the "because I promised you".
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thevoicefromthestars · 4 months ago
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so i'm trying to come to terms with starship iris ending, y'know, as one does when there's a project that you auditioned for on a whim as a total amateur, eight years and a lifetime ago, that is finally coming to a close, and i am really truly trying not to get sappy about it. but.
in another universe, there is no ishani kanetkar. she was born with this show, for this show, and it's still a little unbelievable to me that there are people i've never met who know who she is. it's even wilder that there are people i HAVE met who want her, this person who has never been fully real but has always still been me, to help them tell their own stories.
i recorded the pilot episode on my wired earbuds' built-in microphone, in a bedroom in my grandparents' home in mumbai. those grandparents are gone; that house of my memory too. but every time i come back to this show, i remember sitting on the bed of the small room that once belonged to my great-aunt, trying and failing to find a scrap of quiet so that kay grisham could tell violet liu it would all be okay.
so maybe some of the things i'm feeling are for the end of a story, but i think some of them are also for the ishani who started telling it, who can't go back. some of them are for ishani kanetkar, this ephemeral self and not-self, whose own time is one day going to be over. and some of them are just for me, now, who looks forward to a future with other projects and other people but not this project, with these people, and is sad to say goodbye. i hope i can do my part to give it a truly phenomenal send-off.
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vaguely-concerned · 16 hours ago
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
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hildegardladyofbones · 5 months ago
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One of the best things about Disco Elysium by far is that it does not fear ugly women. The world is full of ugly men, but ugly women are so hard to come by.
#I'm not calling the characters ugly btw#i don't believe any one can be ugly#i do not care for beauty standards and thus i don't rank people based on how “ugly” or “pretty” they are#but the characters in DE do not meet the conventional beauty standards and look like actual people with unique faces#and thus would be considered “ugly”#and that is so important to me. i go feral whenever media represents how people look like in real life and not how they look like in the#fictional parallel universe where everyone is a model and where a majority of the movies take place#because irl you don't have to be a model to be desirable#the most attractive man in any video game I've ever played has a receding hairline and a big nose and thick glasses and a small chin#and not only is representing realistic people. just good. in general. but it makes the character of Dolores Dei stand out so much more which#works for the game so well. she's barely human. she's a deity- a myth- a legend. the only version that exists of her now is the one with#glowing lungs. she's perfectly beautiful because she's inhuman. the fact that everybody else looks so human only highlights how inhuman she#has become yk?#if everyone was as conventionally attractive as her then she wouldn't stand out. we wouldn't get why she's so special.#disco elysium#disco elysium analysis#media analysis#beauty standards#this is only one aspect of how this game portrays real people btw. as someone interested in character design this just immediately stood out#to me#the first time i noticed it was when i first met garte and the second time was when i met ruby because neither are conventionally desirable#oh my fucking god the nerds who complain about a woman with a model face having body hair in a video game would perish if they played this#mainstream game/movie studios catering to western masses could never
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casualavocados · 3 months ago
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Even though you are this short. You have a problem with that? [...] So what? You are taller than me. Big deal. You are so cute. ...I'm not finished yet.
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 13
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