#but I can’t share that stuff really :((
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Drew my stupid wife on a sticky note while at work bc green
#springtrap#beauart#I’m so art blocked rn for fnaf stuff it’s like the anniversary overloaded me and now I can’t do SHIT#it doesn’t help that I’ve been working on the comic extra hard to finish this chapter#but I can’t share that stuff really :((
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Happy holidays to everyone! I say several days after the holidays are over.
#I’ve been distracted with other projects so this took a bit but it was just some fun so it doesn’t matter how long it took really#also it’s been holiday season so I’ve been doing holiday stuff#I did actually do a Christmas card of the champions for my mum so maybe I should of shared that on Christmas#the static I put over my drawings dulled some colors more then I’d like#I think at least…#I’ve been staring at this for awhile so maybe it’s that#the mini doodles were a good excuse to draw characters I really like but didn’t have time to do drawings of this holiday season#x men#kitty pryde#illyana rasputin#kurt wagner#wolverine#xmen morph#morpherine#there’s other characters in the mini doodles but I don’t think that’s worth the effort of tagging#I ALMOST DIDNT TAG THIS BUT KITTY ILLYANA AND KURT ARE PLAYING ON A PAC-MAN IN A TIN#ITS A VERY COOL THING THAT I GOT THIS YEAR CAUSE I FUCKING LOVE PAC-MAN#Case and point is that I think Illyana is actually horrendously bad at pacman and Kitty is great at it#can’t quite explain#but I think I’m right cause I said so#cryptids do art
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Based on my favorite gif lately
#my art stuff#digital art#baldurs gate 3#bg3#astarion#batstarion#once again specifying this is a spawn astarion with some sort of wild shape thing#bat#good morning#gif#I’ve been in such a weird place mentally about art lately#I just keep stopping myself from drawing things cus I want to draw Astarion -#- but fsr my brain decided I draw him wrong and thus makes it pointless to even start#bat form is fine - I have no problems with it. But in his normal form? no can do buckaroo.#It’s one part why I haven’t shared much art lately - I don’t get happy enough about the “quality”#then just don’t share it as a result - in turn making me feel worse because I’m not posting - making me doubt myself more - etc etc#idk man - I got way too giddy earlier today cus someone could tell this was Astarion - even though this isn’t even the version of him I -#- feel insecure about#I keep seeing these artists making more realistic art and cool comics and interactions - most of which are shaded really beautifully -#- and all I can think about is how I CAN’T do that - even if it wouldn’t fuck me up mentally#I just put too much stress on my ability to create realism and I keep “failing” at doing that (by actively avoiding it for my own health)#idk man - I just wish I felt better about Astarion’s stupid chin OTL
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Can I be real honest and admit how much it saddens me that Instagram doesn’t even let me check if my friends or mutuals liked a post or story without slapping me with “insights” and how good or bad I’m doing regarding my content. I? Don’t care? God forbid I just want to share drawings or funny stories just for the heck of it . why does everything have to be about your account’s performance.
#pix habla#being a people pleaser and struggling with being good enough makes this worse for me#not right now I’m doing so much better really#but it makes me sad to the point of tears this is all that matters#I miss simpler times when it was just about sharing stuff with friends or people who’d enjoy it#I also made the mistake of opening comments on popular posts and it’s all just ? complaints ? people asking for more and complaining when#it doesn’t cater to what they want#I’m really tired 👉👈 idk#it just feels like keeping up with the algorithm ruins art and even just people’s feelings in general#it shouldn’t be about that#Eugh#anyway I can’t even check who likes my stuff it’s just a number now#a number attached to an analysis about performance and account activity#again… that’s so incredibly depressing#but I digress pffft#:’> I’m ok just had to get that off my chest#it’s been bothering me#I see artists I look up to struggling to stay in the algorithm and it shows their art has suffered for it#it kinda hurts to see it yknow#but again. I digress!!!#-sad shimi dance- Shakira Shakira…
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I said this in tags on another post, but it’s relevant and deserves its own post (I should be reading my usual pre- sleeping fic selection, BUT! I had this revelation -being sleepy is useful once again! -)
They NEEDED Steve to disappear, to be gone. To never care about Bucky anymore. That way they could treat Bucky as they see fit, and that means treating him like shit.
Steve would NEVER accept or allow Bucky to make amends, he would NEVER let the government take care of Bucky or be part of his “rehabilitation” in any way shape or form. That’s why he became Nomad, that’s why Bucky stayed in Wakanda. He would had fight with teeth and nails for Bucky.
“He died already more than once! He was a victim! A prisoner of war. He saved the fucking universe. What the fuck do you mean with amends!”
He became a wanted criminal for that same reason, to not let them have Bucky (nor other people in a fucking watchlist)
They needed Steves relationship with Bucky to become bitter, to be nothing more than a memory.
Steve being in retirement wouldn’t have cut it and…
Bucky was always going to follow Steve, no matter what.
So they needed him to stay alone (or with a companion that didn’t really care as much as Steve, enter Sam)
This way they killed two birds with one stone in Endgame: Reinforcing Steves “love” for Peggy, because “he’s NOT gay, you guys!”, and the partial isolation of Bucky.
#steve rogers#bucky barnes#stucky#i had this revelation bc Im sleepy af#also I love Sam but cmon! he didn’t believe much in Bucky and then was friendly with him bc of Steve#they didn’t have a good relationship really#more like friend enemies? sorta#idk I already said that I don’t care much about marvel nowadays#and I mean that#but I had this thought and was huh that actually makes so much sense#partial isolation of Bucky bc he doesn’t have anyone that really knows him as Steve knew him#sure he can have friends o be friendly with others#But its the same problem Steve had with meaningful relationships and shared experience#also Steve loved him and believed in him unconditionally#who else is going to do that for him now?#Thats why they NEEDED STEVE GONE#and being on retirement wouldn’t have cut it#this only makes my hc of Old!Steve being a skrull stronger#also Steve replacing Bucky with Peggy on his mind and when he speaks bc of internalized homophobia#everything makes sense!#im actually like the dude from that meme where hes with a board filled with stuff and like see im right!#i need someone to talk about this omfg my friends can’t care less about ny favorite things dude why#also this really makes sense to me and will become my favorite headcanon because canon is shit and doesn’t make sense#i need things to make sense and to be logical ok? at least in character#and endgame Steve wasn’t Steve Rogers#old!steve wasn’t even Steve wtf
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When someone else’s art is so good you physically can’t look at it because of artistic jealousy
#Y’all do this to me on a daily basis I swear#I literally can’t follow some people because their stuff is so good it breaks my heart#I think the art world has a lot of envy and competitiveness that no one really talks about#Sure we’re all for self expression but so many of us are so used to being “the art kid” that anyone else taking or sharing that spot feels#like losing a peice of your identity.#I’ve had some artist friends who dealt with their jealousy by tearing others down or justifying their art by going#”Well you’re bad at ____ but I’m better at ____”#Or they would give unsolicited critique that was more like gently worded criticism than friendly advice to help someone reach their goals#And because of those experiences… I never want to become that person#I definitely get the surges of jealousy… But I very much try to remind myself that fellow artists are my friends-not my rivals#The people I feel the most envy for are often the people I hype up the most#And beyond that- nobody in the art community is trying to gatekeep information from you.#If you want to learn skills from other people- don’t hesitate to ask them. Most artists happily spill their brains for you in a conversatio#(Foolish artist… they don’t even know how many brain juices of theirs I’m absorbing-MWAHAHAHA)#(I’m gonna come come back stronger as an artist… And then I can learn and grow EVEN MORE BWAHAHAHA)#So anyway… Jealousy is a valid and very real thing… but what you choose to do about it can either hinder or help you.#That’s all folks#art meme#art
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🕳️ WIP Wednesday (on Thurs) 🕳️
edit: full release on AO3
Tagged by @heylittleriotact
WELL this one was supposed to be released by now but I have had the absolute delight of needing to write confronting truths to the worst sorts of people. Menace is a way of life. I bring you this. I don’t know what to title it. Weeping Lizards? Sodden Hole? Muddy Salt? Help. I blame @emmg for its creation this is your fault. We’re in Hossberg and Emmrich is crying over a muddy hole that reminds him of Worne (Rook).
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“Now, please, I have to see to Emmrich, shoo. Everyone’s off.” Rook motioned it with a flick of his hands this time; well aware he might have better luck physically urging the ground below to trot on before budging the Qunari. Thankfully Taash needed no further encouragement and long strides were soon taking them past Emmrich. They paused at a shout from behind.
Rook, calling like a concerned parent, “And get something nice for Lace first!” Taash waved back, looked over their shoulder, regretted that once the Warden started mouthing further instructions, what was he saying? “Floooowers.” And he was pointing at himself, and at Emmrich and. Taash rolled their eyes. Took a moment to turn and mouth back an exaggerated but silent, “Nooooo.”
Rook flipped them off, they sent two back. Rook’s eyes went wide, and he pointed a stiff finger at them. Taash groaned and rolled their head full round. Mouthed a “Fiiiiine.” And finally disappeared down the path back to Lavendell.
The Warden quickened his step. Emmrich hadn’t moved in the time it took to send Taash away for errands. The mage remained locked in place, red and wet faced, staring long at a muddy hole.
Rook didn’t question it, did his best to not startle him, that hazel gaze was far, far away. “Emmrich.”The hushed tone was followed by a soft touch. Fingers entered at waist, trailed up the spine until they went up to hold that opposite shoulder steady, gave a firm grip, a gentle pull towards the rogue. The necromancer was trembling, Rook eased into a shape that fit close, that first touch a needle of first stitch, and like thread he pulled them flush together.
Emmrich didn’t startle, seemed to expect him, subtle movements meeting Rook as he settled into the Warden’s hands finding their way to their places. Still, he kept a bit tense, hands tight together in front. White knuckled as he spoke sniffing,
“Rook. Darling, it’s…look, I…” and then Emmrich laughed, piercingly loud, a wincing crack that made Rook flinch to a confused smile. But the noise was manic prelude, and it was swallowed in the sob that drove it free. The mage’s eyes welled, wet trails provided easy paths for fresh tears as flood resumed. He turned his head down and into Rook, lips quivering to recall words. Shine on his face wrenching the rogue’s gut, Rook listened, attentive as possible, but the necromancer’s trembling smile stretched the sounds.
Emmrich’s hands unclenched from each other and dove round Rook in a desperate clinging embrace. The Warden answered with whispered soft ‘shhhh’s’ and diligently caressed the tall man’s back. They held there for long moments, Rook bearing their weight as the quivering necromancer eased into fewer wails and more whimpers.
Blubbering, mumbling, further shuddering chuckles, but eventually, helped by Rook’s firm embrace, calming touch, and steady pace of lungs, the breaths came even enough for thoughts. Emmrich squeaked out, “...it reminded me of you.”
He gestured towards the filthy hole. And then a lizard popped its head out. Mud obscured its sight, some kind of weed stuck to its chin, and its big dumb face was wide, letting nary a thought bother its whim. Emmrich snorted. Then started weeping again.
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tagging: @caffeinatedmunchkin @thepalehorsevictoria @ollypopwrites (look I know you’ve likely been tagged but this is me saying tag me on all your writing updates because imma miss it if you don’t I’m staying away from this place as much as possible to write. Sincerely haha I’ll catch up on commenting when I caaaaan because holy shit all the writing is so good. I’m forgetting people TAG ME I need to post or imma edit the whole thing again.)
#emmrich volkarin#dragon age the veilguard#emmrook#dragon age#datv#emmrich x rook#rook worne#grey warden rook#when a lizard reminds you of your lover? when your man shares a sound with a hole in the ground?#and you’re just so in love you can’t keep it in?#crying is healthy and good we have zero shame here only blowjobs#surprisingly a very sentimental piece hahaha someone lock me away#Can I Believe You by Fleet Foxes is the sponsor#let me indulge okay I’m having fun playing with this one so it’s taking longer than expected#well that and you know people stuff I had to do other people stuff the ol church is at me lol#msg or mention if ya need me im not technically here im writing here to share update#It seems really extra out of context okay but I see you Emmrich it’s okay buddy
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Hey Chips (is it ok to call you that? Sorry if not) I had a dream about your au the other night, where y/n made a complicated rng/treasure hunt that had them all over the park trying to solve it, completing the game they got the messege "Will you marry me fr fr?" of course they said yes and they were all so happy, it was very cute.
Yes you can call me anything, chips, sun-e-, crunch, whatever feels right to you:)
And also SHARE YOU DREAMS WITH ME I BEG OF THEEEEE!!! I’d absolutely love to see my boys in person it would be a dream come true! Literally!!!
The dream sounds so sweet and fun the bois would have an absolute blast going along with this treasure hunt (I wonder if they would play fair or try to cheat having the Tiki’s help them but unbeknownst to them the Tiki’s are also in on this lil endeavor mwahahaha!) after finally solving it I imagine they would almost explode from shock and happiness to accept y/n’s fr fr proposal to them!
The bois proceed to go nuts for planning and prepping for the ceremony. If you can imagine how much work they would put into making the park and resort ready for this event, they would go all out! (Photos would be amazing haha) they’ve actually done wedding in Waterspark Bay before so this would be something especially grand for the very special occasion:D
Thank you for sharing your dream it made me so so happy to hear it!
#I still can’t believe that my water bois are living in other peoples mind#it really encourages me to make more stuff about them so I can share more of them and their little world#If I could dream of mine and others OC’s every night I would!#beloveds!#fr fr#dca au#waterpark au#Waterspark bay#Waterspark bay au
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Ok phandom peeps, I need to get something off my chest. I cannot stop thinking about it, it’s so funny that this happened to me!
So I’ve been casually perusing the DP fandom for a while, right? Like for several years at least! What can I say? I like art! So at various points I had talked to my aunt about some stuff related, like fun stuff about the phandom and the existence of ghost king aus and stuff. Recently though, I found a fanfic that I spent AN ENTIRE DAY reading and doing nothing else! Like I stayed up late the night before, woke up to immediately read more! I don’t normally read fanfics, let alone any long form story, cuz my attention span is shit and has been shit basically all my life! So in the evening when I was a good chunk of the way through the fic, I talked to my aunt about it! Cuz it’s funny! I found a lot of things in it very amusing and wanted to share!
And then she asked for a link…
The next thing I know, within a few months, probably 3 months later at most, my aunt starts telling me about phandom lore I had never even heard of before! She literally made an ao3 account!!! Guys I am floored! I’ve been idly watching from the shadows for so long, and then I accidentally get my aunt into the phandom and she starts telling me about a red duck candle that’s apparently been integral DPxDC lore for YEARS!
What have I DONE???
#Danny Phantom#DP#this isn’t art or any creative writing this is just sharing a personal experience I had so this isn’t going on my side blog#side blog does have some personal ramblings but they’re typically for art related plans and writing ideas#sorry to anyone following me for fandom stuff- I do try to avoid clogging my main with personal stuff and the like but…#god I just can’t get over this! How did I manage to get my aunt into reading DPxDC fanfics so fast???#she never watched DP and even she didn’t really know much about batfam stuff (all of my knowledge has been from online fandom stuff)#so I’m just absolutely going insane about this cuz holy shit#how did I never know about the red duck candle???
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I’ve gotten really into writing fic with the whole idea that I am gonna be the only one going back into my drafts to read it
#it’s been. nice to finally not carry this expectation#bc inevitably I would share it and then it would be ruined for me bc it exists for others to see#and the whole looking for comments that I knew were never really gonna happen#and it never feels like anyone cares about the topic as much as I do#which is like. it’s fine! it’s why the writing lives in its own little place#there’s a lot of rich oc dynamic stuff happening in there but that’s for me <3#the rich inner world of my ships is for me <3 to see <3#can’t deny that stuff that happened a while back got me hesitant to share bc it felt like no one cared#owen talks
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Me seeing a Jason was such a good student who loved homework and loved reading so much that none of the other Bats could touch him: I’m feeling an extremely strong urge to go through the golden and silver age Robin comics and pull every panel of Dick being comfy in a chair reading. And the admittedly few of him doing good in school. He did hate homework, that is true though.
#dick grayson#nightwing#I also just don’t get how they can’t have shared traits#sure one might do something or like something more#but like Cass is the best fighter in Gotham but do the other ones not have formidable skills?#Babs is the tech center of the team but would you not trust Tim to be able to hack the terrorist computer?#sure Dick is the acrobat but can’t they all do better than most acrobats?#Steph plays instruments and so does Damian#I’m positive they all know a good amount about automobiles and could tune up the Batmobile#I’m also just having a really really crappy week so I might just be letting stuff get to me
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current editing moodboard, please send help
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#perfectionism is really kicking my butt rn#that and the fact i had like a week away from writing properly bc chronic pain and now i can’t get back into the headspace#so yeah#perfectionism and brain fog#the inimitable duo#and i know i just need to be patient because it’ll get in the end there like it always does#but rn i’ve spent two nights in a row trying to polish up the last bits of this chapter#and i still just feel so detached from it all i want to pitch my laptop out the window#but i can’t afford a new laptop each time i want to defenestrate it#so this little rant will have to do instead#UGH#it’s so annoying because i am actually so so proud of this chapter and have loved writing it and can’t wait to share it#it’s just this last little bit that i seem to be hitting a brick wall with#anyway sorry#four walls readers don't worry i go through this just about every chapter lol#i'm just feeling it particularly this time because it's a particularly big chapter (both in terms of length and content)#and sometimes venting in the tags and creating an alex moodboard is very therapeutic#writing stuff#alex turner#writer's block#lulu posts
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At this point if I were Taylor and her team I’d be looking at why people want her to speak out about Palestine rather than trying to avoid it. A simple post/story/tweet acknowledging what’s happening, why her silence wasn’t a good thing and a link to provide aid would suffice. She had no problem sharing links and speaking out during the height of Covid so why should this be any different? If she’s worried about alienating/losing fans, her silence might cause more fans to leave/unstan/whatever you want to call it than her speaking out would.
#taylor swift#like do I expect her to? not really but she should#I don’t follow her for her political activism or I certainly wouldn’t have stuck around this long but it is disappointing to see#she could easily be like I’m so proud of my fans for rallying around a cause and making a difference and share the swifties for Palestine#fundraiser and share something like Doctors Without Borders or something else#like she shouldn’t have any fears about people leaving and if so that’s not really her problem#it’s not surprising that she’s avoiding it given how she responded in 2020 to blm stuff on here#I don’t know if she only wanted to get more political around causes she believes in or us centric stuff but you can’t really do that#but being political means being uncomfortable and talking about a lot of stuff that doesn’t directly affect you
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For the person who thought it was cute to come into my inbox and yell at me for not ‘doing more’ for their specific cause: I do not have anything left of myself to give right now.
This is what I have left for the rest of this month. $25.87. I have no food left that I can eat because I spent the last bit of food stamps on foods only fit for my mom’s sudden health problem. The day before yesterday I ate peanut butter even though it always makes me sick to my stomach because I didn’t have anything else I can eat with protein, and then I went into fucking anaphylaxis. And no, I did not go to the ER because then I’d have to take off my mask and I’m at extreme risk of covid and no one fucking masks in medical environments here but ALSO because my insurance loves to avoid paying for ER stuff. (See $25.87 above) I am already struggling to work on commissions and stuff for patreon as it is with all of my chronic health conditions kicking off big time. There aren’t enough hours in the day to spend being physically ill in the bathroom, laying down to cry in pain, and working. I do not have the energy. I do not have the time. I do not have the money. I do what I can when I can, and if that isn’t enough for you then you can fuck entirely off.
#personal#not nice anon#I doubt you’ll see this because I fucking blocked you#but if you do#fuck off#ask your fave blorbo actor why they haven’t donated to your cause#not a fucking random ass artist on tumblr#which one has the money I wonder#I reblog and share when I can’t donate#I can’t really go to protests or be physically present for most causes#bc you know. I’m fucking disabled and sick#I don’t know what else you want from me#you can throw my body at the house of whoever in gov you hate#but you kind of need to wait until I die for that#ok?#so chill tf out#batwynn talks#tw: illness#MCAS stuff
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So um I have really bad writers block rn but I have a really cool scene I wanna write for the Pine drabbles
So, would you guys be fine if I wrote that scene and post it here so y’all can see it (cause I’m really excited about it) and then get the whole fic out whenever I write it or would y’all rather wait for me to write the full thing?
#rambles#idk#writers block sucks#cause I always get the coolest ideas for stuff#but then I can’t write the damn thing#also#the scene y’all would get probably won’t be really good#but I still wanna share it with y’all
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HEY here is my Switch friend code for anyone who wants it! the only games i really play online are Splatoon and Mario Kart, but i’m trying to make an effort to be more accessible and open again so if anyone wants to add then feel free :)
#i had to change my name to Duck Twacy since i wanted that to be my name in Mario Kart but forgot you can’t have “’nicknames’ in it boo#but maybe Duck Twacy is more recognizable than Eliza. who knows. just feels funny without a Daffy icon! naked even!#and i really do aim to get back to all my asks and DMs THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE GUYS SERIOUSLY#i’ve been so buried by work (in a good way! because i love my work but i think i’ve neglected to take proper care of myself in favor of#constantly feeling i need to grind whether with work or reviews or anything) so i really am determined to detach a little and be more open#and indulgent and ALL THAT FUN STUFF#how does sharing my friend code tie into that? you tell me!#(ID ALSO OFFER TO PLAY ACNH ONLINE TOO but i have terminal restart my island itis so there’s really nothing to do… it’s been a chronic habi#since i first started playing the Animal Crossing series as a little kid whoops)#but it’s been one of my lifelong loves too
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