#but! the physicality of interacting with a book makes the experience so different for me - and for me it's something i prefer

[queenerdloser]

so i bought a record player and not to suddenly turn into this huge music snob or w/e the fuck but like. as much as i will die defending streaming music (bc there IS something to be said for having literally any music at your fingertips! digital downloads are valid! really fucking hate the way older millenials+ will complain about streaming like it destroyed music) like no one is wrong to say that there really is something different about physical music. like. turning records is different than streaming. putting a little cd in a cd player is different than streaming. something something the connection of physicality really does make the practice of interacting with art different. not better necessarily but different in a visceral way.

[handweavers]

something that comes up for me over and over is a deep frustration with academics who write about and study craft but have little hands-on experience with working with that craft, because it leads to them making mistakes in their analysis and even labelling of objects and techniques incorrectly. i see this from something as simple as textiles on display in museums being labelled with techniques that are very obviously wrong (claiming something is knit when it's clearly crochet, woven when that technique could only be done as embroidery applied to cloth off-loom) to articles and books written about the history of various aspects of textiles making considerable errors when trying to describe basic aspects of textile craft-knowledge (ex. a book i read recently that tried to say that dyeing cotton is far easier than dyeing wool because cotton takes colour more easily than wool, and used that as part of an argument as to why cotton became so prominent in the industrial revolution, which is so blatantly incorrect to any dyer that it seriously harms the argument being made even if the overall point is ultimately correct)

the thing is that craft is a language, an embodied knowledge that crosses the boundaries of spoken communication into a physical understanding. craft has theory, but it is not theoretical: there is a necessary physicality to our work, to our knowledge, that cannot be substituted. two artisans who share a craft share a language, even if that language is not verbal. when you understand how a material functions and behaves without deliberate thought, when the material knowledge becomes instinct, when your hands know these things just as well if not better than your conscious mind does, new avenues of communication are opened. an embodied knowledge of a craft is its own language that is able to be communicated across time, and one easily misunderstood by those without that fluency. an academic whose knowledge is entirely theoretical may look at a piece of metalwork from the 3rd century and struggle to understand the function or intent of it, but if you were to show the same piece to a living blacksmith they would likely be able to tell you with startling accuracy what their ancient colleague was trying to do.

a more elaborate example: when i was in residence at a dye studio on bali, the dyer who mentored me showed me a bowl of shimmering grey mud, and explained in bahasa that they harvest the mud several feet under the roots of certain species of mangroves. once the mud is cleaned and strained, it's mixed with bran water and left to ferment for weeks to months.  he noted that the mud cannot be used until the fermentation process has left a glittering sheen to its surface. when layered over a fermented dye containing the flowers from a tree, the cloth turns grey, and repeated dippings in the flower-liquid and mud vats deepen this colour until it's a warm black.��

he didn't explain why this works, and he did not have to. his methods are different from mine, but the same chemical processes are occurring. tannins always turn grey when they interact with iron and they don't react to other additives the same way, so tannins (polyphenols) and iron must be fundamental parts of this process. many types of earthen clay contain a type of bacteria that creates biogenic iron as a byproduct, and mixing bran water with this mud would give the bacteria sugars to feast upon, multiplying, and producing more of this biogenic iron. when the iron content is high enough that the mud shimmers, applying this fermented mixture to cloth soaked in tannins would cause the iron to react with the tannin and finally, miraculously: a deep, living grey-black cloth.

in my dye studio i have dissolved iron sulphide ii in boiling water and submerged cloth soaked in tannin extract in this iron water, and watched it emerge, chemically altered, now deep and living grey-black just like the cloth my mentor on bali dyed. when i watched him dip cloth in this brown bath of fermented flower-water, and then into the shimmering mud and witness the cloth emerge this same shade of grey, i understand exactly what he was doing and why. embodied craft knowledge is its own language, and if you're going to dedicate your life to writing about a craft it would be of great benefit to actually "speak" that language, or you're likely to make serious errors.

the arrogance is not that different from a historian or anthropologist who tries to study a culture or people without understanding their written or spoken tongue, and then makes mistakes in their analysis because they are fundamentally disconnected from the way the people they are talking about communicate. the voyeuristic academic desire to observe and analyse the world at a distance, without participating in it. how often academics will write about social movements, political theory and philosophy and never actually get involved in any of these movements while they're happening. my issue with the way they interact with craft is less serious than the others i mentioned, but one that constantly bothers me when coming into contact with the divide between "those who make a living writing about a subject" and "those who make a living doing that subject"

[andthespidersfrommars]

other people have worded it better then me, but inej's assertion about having kaz in the without armor scene was clearly not just about emotional vulnerability. it’s a powerful line in the books and a nice metaphor for emotional intimacy, (something inej deserves from kaz) but let's not shy away from the fact that she also made it clear she meant physical intimacy, as her words were "fully clothed, gloves on, head turned away so our lips can never touch" 

this nuance is important to consider, as it reflects the depth and complexity of her feelings at the time. it’s ironic that for people who apparently care so much about inej’s boundaries, the fandom rarely pays attention to what she says. inej has flaws and virtues, some affected by different experiences she's had, and that affects her choices. her words aren’t any less hurtful because of this. she got kaz in a vulnerable moment and said something cruel. later she reflects on this and admits she shouldn’t be holding kaz to standards she can’t meet herself, and she likely said that to him in the first place because she lashed out about something that’s personally a trigger for her and she’s vulnerable about. they both have a lot of issues surrounding physical intimacy. 

that’s one reason why kanej is such a good ship- one of the most healthy, beautiful and nuanced relationships ever between two children who have been through horrific things, exploited, abandoned, and put in danger every day, who have found safety and friendship and understanding in each other. they aren’t going to be speaking super politely and using sensitive, respectful, inoffensive woke therapy speak at every second because that’s not their situation or their relationship and their interactions are raw and real. sometimes they make mistakes (kaz calling inej an investment, inej saying kaz wouldn’t be able to have her if he couldn’t touch her, etc) but they recognise and admit when they do and work through that. the beauty of their friendship lies in their imperfections and their capacity to learn from each other. the bare honesty they share is a testament to their growth, even when it leads to moments of pain or misunderstanding.

to suggest that holding inej to a higher standard and not acknowledging that her words could be perceived as hurtful is akin to ignoring the very human aspects of her character. it’s essential to recognize that she is capable of making mistakes or risk turning her into a perfect fandomised queen incapable of fault. her character's journey is not about being infallible, but about growth, self-reflection, and the courage to confront and overcome her fears. strong and resilient, yet also capable of causing harm, even unintentionally. 

there’s a phenomenon in fandom spaces but particularly the grishaverse where fans have an opinion of something and then deem everyone else’s as bad or wrong, going so far as to make posts calling out other people for having different analysis. literary discussions should encourage an environment where different interpretations are welcomed and discussed respectfully, not minimised and devalued for a more popular fandom take that’s often incorrect when compared with the text of the book anyway. it’s okay for inej to make mistakes and learn from them, just as it's okay for readers to have varied interpretations of their interactions.

[clover-system]

The longest list of anti-endo sources I've ever seen

While trying to find something else using Tumblr's infamous search engine, I came across this absolute gem:

NINE SOURCES!!! That's a record!! This is incredible!

@radpocalypse, listen. I am about to tear these to shreds, but before I do, I want you to know that you have my respect for not only compiling the longest list of sources I have ever seen an anti-endo provide, and not only doing so seemingly not directly prompted, but typing out every single link by hand, on mobile, without making a single mistake. Incredible work.

And also, to be completely honest, if I had nine sources supporting a belief, I almost certainly wouldn't look into them this closely. But, hey, that's what strangers on the internet with opposing views are for.

One more thing before the debunk: Endogenic systems do not claim to have DID etc. without trauma. They just don't. Whether it could be possible is often debated as an edge case, usually just to win an argument against someone of the opposing side, but really, it's irrelevant for 99% of the community. A good chunk are questioning OSDD based on later trauma, but as far as I am aware, no one on this website is claiming a completely endogenic plural disorder.

However, I don't want to dismiss entire pages based on this alone without further commentary, and it's a fun intellectual exercise regardless. So, whenever I use green text, I'm just playing Devil's Advocate under the premise of "If I was claiming to have DID without trauma (which neither I nor anyone else afaik is), would this source actually debunk that claim?" My syster will also occasionally pop in with purple, since she was cocon while I was writing this.

My dad just walked into my room and literally said "hey how it's going". You know, like. Like that one post. Amazing.

Anyway, civility established. Now come along with me on this long long journey of ten minutes of reading. Maybe put some music on in the background, if that will help you get through it. I had Near's Theme on while writing.

Here we go.

Link 1: McLean Hospital

Ok, main thing that caught my eye was

According to a 2010 Psychiatric Times article, only 5% of people with DID exhibit obvious switching between identity “states.”

Very interesting! Even with all of the "idk who's fronting" memes, 5% is really not that high. Though maybe online spaces like these help train the ability to identify it? The reference trail leads back to a book by Kluft but I don't really feel like going through dozens of pages for this. Definitely making a note of this though; I wonder if there have been any follow-up studies on this.

Not much to say here other than that. No mention of plurality outside DID.

DID is associated with long-term exposure to trauma, often chronic traumatic experiences during early childhood.

Dissociation—or disconnection from one’s sense of self or environment—can be a response to trauma.

Dissociative identity disorder—a type of dissociative disorder—most often develops during early childhood in kids who are experiencing long-term trauma. This typically involves emotional, physical, and/or sexual abuse; neglect; and highly unpredictable interactions with caregivers.

Why "associated", not "is caused by"? Why "can", not "is"? Why "most often", etc.?

Why such weak language?

Not that it couldn't be weaker.

I vaguely remember McLean getting into some hot water regarding a video they posted about DID, but didn't find anything concrete. Half-remembered anecdote aside, the author seems well-qualified.

C-tier debunk of this position. It's not nothing but it could be a lot better.

Link 2: Psych Central

It occurs in women 9 times more often than in men.

Very interesting statistic, but no citation provided.

Alters can show striking differences. For instance, one alter may speak with a different accent or have a softer way of speaking. They might have different opinions or a different gender identity, and even physical differences — like left- or right-handedness, or the need for a glasses prescription.

That's quite a stark difference here compared to the McLean article. What happened to "alters aren't that noticeable"?

But whatever, these are just interesting tidbits. None of this has anything to do with endogenic plurality. Nothing like "this is the only way to be multiple", no comment whatsoever.

DID is usually associated with adverse experiences in someone’s past and traumatic memories.

Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a mental health condition with strong links to trauma, especially trauma in childhood.

Bruh. This again?

In fact, the American Psychiatric Association reports that 90% of people with DID have a history of childhood abuse and neglect, based on research from the United States, Canada, and Europe.

Bruh. Seriously? 90%? You know what that leaves, right?

According to your own source, 10% of DID systems are endogenic.

But let's break this down. There's a big difference between the system being endogenic, and the DID being endogenic. This statistic is specifically referring to childhood trauma.

The wording's plenty vague though. This can absolutely be read as completely endogenic DID.

One review article from 2017 about the causes of DID noted that there was relatively little research on the condition to date.

The authors said researchers hadn’t yet investigated potential genetic and epigenetic factors. With epigenetic factors, the experiences and behaviors of your parents and ancestors can influence the function of the genes they pass down to you.

The authors of the review said scientists needed to do more research to investigate whether a person with DID might carry genes that can influence if they develop the condition or not.

This is particularly promising because studies have already shown that genes can influence dissociative disorders in general.

So you're telling me DID might be able to be passed down one or two generations? Wow. Again, this still has nothing to do with endogenic plurality, but I'm really glad I decided to play with this second angle, because it's so much more fun. We're certainly not at intentional self-inflicted DID here, but we are at this point a long way from certainly needing childhood trauma in all cases.

And also the reviewer is a military psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD. So uh. Not bringing our best here.

Link 3: Mayo Clinic

Gotta love an article that's nice and short. This is just a brief summary of a bunch of dissociative disorders. Again, nothing about endogenic plurality.

Starting to run out of things to say about this. This whole post could probably be a fifth the length if I didn't feel like playing on hard mode.

Formerly known as multiple personality disorder, this disorder involves "switching" to other identities. You may feel as if you have two or more people talking or living inside your head. You may feel like you're possessed by other identities.

Each identity may have a unique name, personal history and features. These identities sometimes include differences in voice, gender, mannerisms and even such physical qualities as the need for eyeglasses.

Hey, that reminds me of someone.

There also are differences in how familiar each identity is with the others. Dissociative identity disorder usually also includes bouts of amnesia and often includes times of confused wandering.

Again, McLean looking really odd with its declaration of DID's covertness against great detail like this. However, its author is so far the best qualified. This one just says "Mayo Clinic Staff". Can't even know which of them worked on this. Some of them are psychs, but if any of them specialize in dissociative disorders, it doesn't say so.

Dissociative disorders usually arise as a reaction to shocking, distressing or painful events and help push away difficult memories.

I won't bother quoting even more wishy-washy language because this post is already at an ungodly length (about 1300 words so far) and we're barely a third done. But yeah, suffice to say, no nail-in-the-coffin 100% link to trauma.

Link 4: Rethink

We are a trusted information creator and accredited by the Patient Information Forum (PIF).

Their bold, for once. That's an alarm-ringing corporate phrase if I've ever seen one. Also, first thing on the PIF's website is "balancing the risks and benefits of AI in the production of health information". So this article might've been written by GPT. Awesome. And yeah, a lot of this whole website looks to me like a bunch of interconnected pages with stupidly long articles written by stitching together LLM generations. Does pass GPT0's test though.

This one is so long. I'll take the ten minutes to read through every word, which I don't think @radpocalypse did, just to make sure there's nothing here, but one thing that does catch my eye scrolling down to near the bottom is that they misspelled their first citation.

A quick look at this Carolyn Spring shows a lot being sold and credentials nowhere in sight. Awesome.

So already I don't need to read this. The information here is not at a high level of trustworthiness. It's maybe better than nothing, but seriously, one can and should do better. But I'll read it anyway, just for bonus points. Thanks to AccelaReader for making this bearable.

Many people will experience dissociation at some point in their lives. Lots of different things can cause you to dissociate. For example, you might dissociate when you are very stressed, or after something traumatic has happened to you.

Some of the symptoms of dissociation include the following:

You may have clear multiple identities.

It‘s important to remember that you could have the symptoms of dissociation without a dissociative disorder.

So according to this, multiple identities can be caused by intense but non-traumatic stress, and might not necessarily be a disorder. So, while I admit this is a little bit of a stretch, we're four links in and this is the first mention of plurality in general, so I'll take it. One point for endogenic plurality. (And again, none of this really matters anyway because this is the worst source so far.)

Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is sometimes called ‘Multiple Personality Disorder.

If you have DID you might seem to have 2 or more different identities, called ‘alternate identities.

Two missing closing quotes. Really not a good sign.

They suggest that DID is caused by experiencing severe trauma over a long time in childhood.

Aha! Finally, something concrete against endogenic DID! Too bad it's buried in the worst source yet. If we believed we had DID, we would absolutely not reconsider that based on a sketchy webpage with suboptimal syntax and no credentials.

Ugh, finally done with that one. What a slog.

Link 5: DID Research

Aha! The infamous psych student's blog! That's what Sophie said, anyway. Not taking her word for it though. Let's see what we can find here, independently.

Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is the result of repeated or long-term childhood trauma

Why wasn't this first? First sentence, so crystal clear. No two ways about this, transDID destroyed right out of the gate.

DID cannot form after ages 6-9 because individuals older than these ages have an integrated self identity and history.

Why wasn't this first? It's so plain, so refreshing after four pages of strategic ambiguity. Nothing left here for green. But still no mention of non-disordered plurality.

The author is impressively credentialed but doesn't seem to specialize quite near this area. She's certainly better than most, high above any random Tumblr user talking out of their ass, but the good stuff would be to get a DID specialist to explicitly spell out that endogenic systems are not possible.

Also should make note of this big fat legal disclaimer:

While the author strives to make information on this website as complete, reliable, and accurate as possible, the author makes no claims, promises, guarantees, or warranties about the accuracy, completeness, or adequacy of the contents of this site and expressly disclaims liability for errors and omissions in the contents of this site.

If we did claim to have DID, this would rattle us a little but could ultimately be brushed aside.

Link 6: SANE

As usual, literally nothing about endogenic plurality. I'll just greenmode this.

The majority of people with DID have been through severe trauma in early childhood

And now back to our regularly scheduled nondefinitive language.

Fun fact: highlighting text on this website turns it invisible. Awesome.

A person needs to meet the following criteria to be diagnosed with DID:

- Two or more distinct identities or personality states, each with its own way of thinking and relating. - Amnesia and gaps in the recall of everyday events, personal information or traumatic events. - The experiences are not part of normal cultural or religious practice, or part of childhood imaginary play. For example, a child having an imaginary friend does not mean they have DID. - The symptoms are not because of substance abuse or other medical conditions.

Ah finally, a direct quote from the good ol' DSM. Notice the lack of a trauma requirement.

Funny enough, using only these criteria in isolation, we actually would count as having DID due to our grayout memory gaps when switching. DID is also listed in the dissociative disorders section of the DSM, not the trauma disorders section, so there is no implied criterion there either. However, there still remains the universal criterion of distress, which we do not fulfill. We are quite happy with ourselves.

DID is caused by severe childhood trauma, such as physical, verbal or sexual abuse.

Well, which is it?? Is it a majority association or a direct cause? Why the contradiction? Or is the emphasis on early childhood trauma?

Eh, whatever. Point is, green is once again shut down. But there is still no mention of endogenic plurality anywhere here!!

And no indication of who wrote this article, though the citation for direct cause is a dissociative disorder specialist. Does he actually say that in the cited paper, though?

Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is multifactorial in its etiology. Whereas psychosocial etiologies of DID include developmental traumatization and sociocognitive sequelae, biological factors include trauma-generated neurobiological responses. Biologically derived traits and epigenetic mechanisms are also likely to be at play. At this point, no direct examination of genetics has occurred in DID. However, it is likely to exist, given the genetic link to dissociation in general and in relation to childhood adversity in particular.

I hope you have a dictionary on hand. That sure is a lot of big words that aren't in Firefox's built-in spellchecker. Still, after making sure I got everything, it's clearly not so cut and dry here. And we're back on the "it could be genetic" point.

Tangentially related: I do like the dismissal of the iatrogenic model on the basis of the brain scans.

Neurobiological differences have been demonstrated between dissociative identities within patients with DID and between patients with DID and controls. Given the current evidence, DID as a diagnostic entity cannot be explained as a phenomenon created by iatrogenic influences, suggestibility, malingering, or social role-taking. On the contrary, DID is an empirically robust chronic psychiatric disorder based on neurobiological, cognitive, and interpersonal non-integration as a response to unbearable stress.

Anyway, we're not even on the original page anymore, so I'll call it here. No mention of endogenic plurality, and the citation that claims to dismiss endogenic DID doesn't.

Link 7: NAMI Michigan

While the causes [of DID] are unknown

I'm tired. Aren't you tired?

Treatment for DID consists primarily of psychotherapy with hypnosis.

Yeah I'm calling BS on this one

And no citations on this entire page, nor even the author's name.

Statistics show that DID occurs in 0.01 to 1 percent of the general population.

Research has shown that the average age for the initial development of alters is 5.9 years old.

No sources listed. This is definitely the worst link. Literally on the same level as a rambling Tumblr user in terms of credibility.

Doesn't matter that it says

This disorder is believed to be triggered by physical or sexual abuse in childhood

Couldn't even get this dogshit source to be firm.

This one gets an F.

Link 8: The Psychology Practice

Got scared for a moment there that it said ai. No, that's AL, a name. Also this was written in 2022, so we're definitely safe. Can't actually find any other info on this AL character, but at least we can look up the co-author.

Hm, can't find anything on her, either. Well, at least this is a step up from the previous link. Let's see what it has to say.

According to the Dissociative Identity Research Organisation (2018), DID is formed in childhood due to repeated trauma in early childhood (before age 10) before the personality is fully integrated.

I do like that these later links are direct with this. They don't seem to have a citation for that DIRO, though. Unless...

No. Oh no.

Ok, so this one was written by a couple of clowns who definitely didn't do their homework. Cool. I'm getting tired of humoring awful sources like this, so moving on to the grand finale.

Link 9: NAMI

Wait, this is the same group behind the zero-citation article from Michigan! But that was just Michigan. Maybe the main site can do better.

Ugh, it's just another list of dissociative disorders instead of DID specifically.

The symptoms of a dissociative disorder usually first develop as a response to a traumatic event,

Aren't you tired? Aren't you tired? Aren't you tired?

Often these identities may have unique names, characteristics, mannerisms and voices.

Often? Wow. Sure is a far cry from 5%.

Dissociative disorders are managed through various therapies including: - Psychotherapies such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) - Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) - Medications such as antidepressants can treat symptoms of related conditions

No mention of hypnosis, allegedly the primary method of treatment?? (/sarc)

and there was no mention of plurality being exclusive to dissociative disorders

Oh, and no listed authors either.

So, after three thousand words of analysis, all we've come up with are nothing burgers, dogshit, and dogshit nothing burgers. Out of nine links, only one briefly and indirectly touched on endogenic plurality, and it was in favor. Even the argument against the traumaless DID strawman is weak at best. These sources are bad, to put it lightly.

@radpocalypse, if you're reading this, firstly, thank you for powering through your ADHD and dyslexia to read thousands of words dunking on your masterpiece. Secondly, if you have any more sources that you think are backing you, feel free to send them my way. Just uh, maybe read them more closely next time?

And that goes for everyone here. If you think you have a better source, or if I made a mistake or missed something here, I am open to correction. I am open to the idea that I'm wrong and I have some unknown trauma to work through, but I certainly won't go digging unless I have good reason to believe it's there, and I haven't seen any good reason. And if you haven't either, maybe it's time to reconsider your position.

One last thing before I go.

Have you ever actually seen a pro-endo carrd, let alone one cited in standalone? I haven't.

Here's a much longer list of much better sources than yours supporting endogenic plurality compiled by the traumagenic Guardians System. I don't expect you to read anywhere near the whole thing; just pick a few links at random. And yes, while many of them are peer-reviewed papers, some of them are Tumblr posts, but those Tumblr posts cite peer-reviewed papers, so it's all good.

Thanks for reading.

[lycheedr3ams]

König Character Analysis (Part 1)

*image reposted with permission

Part 1: His Past | Part 2: König's MBTI

the first installment of a multi-part character analysis for our beloved König

to convince you guys i know what I'm talking about, just look through my blog at my könig posts. I am confident that I have grasped most parts of his personality and backstory, but I will acknowledge that some of it may be projecting. obviously we do not know much about him, which is the point of this series. i also relate a lot to him

discussion of my interpretation is welcome in the comments, and if you disagree, there's no need to be hateful. he is, at the end of the day, not real

TW: bullying, social anxiety, other mental health disorders

We have very little information on könig's life before the military. his bio includes one sentence, just one, about his past:

König suffered from severe social anxiety throughout his life, often being bullied during his childhood.

while this information alone isn't striking, when put into more context of other parts of his bio, it says:

While he hoped to join as a recon sniper, his physical size and his inability to stay still made him an unsuitable candidate.

focus on those words: his inability to stay still. this crucial bit of information, tied to the fact that he was often bullied, leads me to conclude that könig has ADHD. not being able to sit still is not a stereotype, it is a real fact of life for those with ADHD, me included. people with ADHD are bullied much more than neurotypicals (people without ADHD, autism, etc). while each source is different, it is estimated that children with ADHD are 4-10x more likely to be bullied.

it is no wonder why bullying would cause social anxiety, since most of könig's interactions with his peers were negative. as someone with social anxiety, it is horrible. not knowing what to say or how to act, you end up either completely misreading the social context or not saying anything. either way, you can never win.

additionally, children with ADHD receive up to 20,000 more negative messages from parents and peers in their childhood than neurotypical children. because of this, it is common for people with ADHD to also be extra sensitive to rejection, and it can be so strong in some that a new term has been coined called "rejection sensitive dysphoria." research on this issue has revealed that 99% of people with ADHD also have and experience rejection sensitive dysphoria. therefore, it makes sense to conclude that König also experiences rejection sensitive dysphoria (rsd)

an aside on rsd: this isn't just feeling hurt when you're rejected by a crush or feeling sheepish or embarrassed you're scolded at work or school. rsd episodes make you question your entire life, your personality, your worth, and for many can even lead to suicidal thoughts just from a small incident of rejection. it can also lead to the person having low self-esteem, and they are also more likely to perceive rejection even when it is not there. it is an intense and overwhelming experience that no one should have to go through, yet people with ADHD experience it often

so, we've established, based on the evidence i've provided, that König has ADHD, social anxiety, and experiences rsd. i would say that i can't even imagine what König's childhood was like, but sadly I can since i too have adhd and was bullied. being mean is never okay, and bullying is not cute or quirky or sassy. bullying is when someone kicks your books across the floor, steals and destroys your belongings, when they spread false rumors, make fun of you, laugh at you, when they give you mean faces when you ask questions in class, when your only friend is the other "weird" kid who also has ADHD. it's when your teachers constantly criticize you and you get in trouble for every little thing. it's when you just wanted a friend and everyone else knew how to socialize, but somehow, you didn't. being bullied while also having ADHD is an experience i wish on no one. yet könig went through this. just sit with that for a minute. the big scary military man we love was also a child once, and went through this.

sorry to depress you guys, but this is the reality of his character. i firmly believe that könig has ADHD and experiences rsd despite his untouchable and stoic demeanor, and you're not gonna change my mind.

so, that's the end of the first installment. keep your eyes out for more, cuz trust me, there's gonna be more. (also don't forget to sign up for my taglist if you want! link is on my masterpost)

taglist: @osteawb, @sleepystaarr, @vvampir3s, @simpxinnie, @majocookie, @sharkyyyyyyyyyyyy, @marysdelrey, @kybeth5, @chaos-on-stand-bi, @shannonswizzies, @arcadia509, @bloodstoneruby, @cumikering, @skystreamchan, @junkratssheila-09, @kit-williams, @tangerynsbaby, @dreamdiaries777, @royalbxstxrd, @non-satanic-panic, @theweirdchick, @kiyomisan, @maylif, @mortimoshi, @eneiss

[nisaetus-nerd]

Blog cover by @/katiethecreature.

🦅 Introduction 🦅

Salutations! You may call me Captain, though I also go by Specs (along with various kin names/nicknames). I am 16 years old and autistic, with an interest in ornithology, the sciences, and ghost-related fiction.

I am not a particularly sociable person, but I hope to interact with like-minded individuals. This blog will consequently focus on my experiences as an avian therian.

Tumblr is not where I am most active — if you are looking to reach me, please do so through my Discord (@sayornis_spectre). [Excuse the different user; this account is a bit of an incognito one.]

(More under the cut!)

🪶 Theriotypes

(Flags were designed by me and entirely free for others to use — they signify a Wallace’s Hawk-eagle therian and Common [Eurasian] Kestrel therian [though the flag is specifically based on female kestrels].)

Wallace’s Hawk-eagle (Nisaetus nanus)

Common Kestrel (Falco tinnunculus)

I am also a Sicklefin Lemon Shark (Negaprion acutidens), along with Falco- (genus) and Carcharhinidae-hearted (with heavy emphasis on Blacktip Reef Sharks [Carcharhinus melanopterus], which is more of a midst-type).

(I have a variety of other additional kintypes and heart-types, though my experiences revolving around these are not the focus of this blog.)

If you are curious about the shark elements of my identity, visit my side-blog, @negaprion-nerd!

🪶 Pronouns

I predominantly use bird-themed noun neopronouns, as my gender is largely influenced by my alterhumanity. Not all of my preferred pronouns are listed — feel free to experiment with others. The only one notably off-limits is ‘tweet’ (as a noun neopronoun); this has been used in an offensive manner towards me in the past and has negative associations.

chirp/chirp/chirps/chirpself

ghost/ghost/ghosts/ghostself

bite/bite/bites/biteself

beak/beaker/beakers/beakerself

it/it/its/itself

The comprehensive list of my pronouns (and names/nicknames) can be found in my pronouns page.

🪶Interests

My non-bird-related interests will seldom be mentioned here; I am listing them purely as conversational starting-points (I have no objections to chatting about shared interests — feel free to approach me about any of them!).

Despite this, keep in mind that these are my interests, and not always my areas of expertise. Though I know a considerable amount about some of the listed, I may just be looking to research into them. Do not ask me for information of the following; this makes me uncomfortable.

(It should be noted that I have left many of my interests unlisted.)

🧪 General

Ornithology (this is my most dominant special interest!)

Natural Sciences as a whole (this is another special interest of mine)

Natural History (I am utmost intrigued by animals and fungi)

Evolution, Taxonomy & Genetics

Falconry & Birds of Prey

Sharks

Ghosts

🧪 Media

BBC Ghosts

Dead Boy Detectives (TV)

BBC Merlin

Luca (2021)

Ghostbusters (Movies)

Rio (Movies)

Bluey

Ducktales (2017)

Six of Crows (Duology)

Lockwood & Co. (Book Series)

Sherlock & Co. (Podcast)

The Magnus Archives (Podcast)

Imagine Dragons

🪶 Tag Key

#captips posts revolving around things I like to do to feel closer to my theriotype/s.

#nis-art-tus posts including art/crafts I have made. I am mostly a digital artist, but I do dabble in physical mediums.

#facto tinnunculus miscellaneous bird facts, perhaps relevant to avian therians.

#cap’s userboxes all fulfilled userbox requests will be tagged with this — anyone is welcome to use these userboxes, regardless of having requested them or not, so long as I am credited. (There may be exceptions, which will be stated within the post itself.)

🧪 As of the 5th of September (2024), I no longer take requests.

🪶 Userboxes Hoard

Please do not use these without my prior approval. Some of these userboxes are tailored specifically to my personal needs, and I am therefore uncomfortable with them being used by others.

🧪 Userboxes by Others

Userboxes by @/katiethecreature.

[gemini-sensei]

Omg- hear me out fr fr, Sex Therapist!Reader who ends up counseling -insert couple- but ends up in the middle of their sex life~

(I love this idea being used for any couples to be honest, it’s open book.)

Sensei-Venues💕✨

Made another wheel and spun for this because I'm indecisive 🙃 and we have...

Migueli!

@sensei-venus ○ idk what I did with this, but I hope this was good. (unedited)

These two end up in Reader's office after things have gotten a tad bit... boring. So they're looking to spice things up but they don't know where to start. Miguel gets so embarrassed by some of her questions, like his cheeks are burning hot when she wants to know who tops the most and if they like dom/sub dynamics. Hawk is ready to volunteer all the information possible. He's talking so much, talking up some things a little more than he should.

She gives them some ideas and tells them what to try to make things a totally comfortable. She gives them a lust of places to shop for toys and other bedroom fun stuff. She asks Miguel if he's ever thought about being tied up and he feels like he's going to implode.

The more they come back to Reader, the closer they get to her. She gives them plenty of ideas and tips. They ask her questions about whether she has any experience with the things she's suggesting to them. She assures them she knows what she's talking about. They ask her about kinks and she just smirks at them. "This is about you two, not me."

The first few sessions are just talking, but then things get physical when she wants to see how they interact with each other in bed. She guides them and touches them when need be, but for thenmost part they are good. It's all professional, that's what they tell themselves, but as time goes on, her touches linger. Her voice drops to a sexy whisper at times. She holds their dicks as they thrust into her hand, rubbing against each other so hotly. The guys eventually find themselves at home, fucking and talking about Reader and how sexy she is.

It's when Miguel and Eli suggest inviting a third person into the bedroom is when Reader finds herself between them.

It starts off as her showing them the different positions they can take. All their clothes are still on and she's flipping through her little book of sex positions to show them what she's talking about, but they ask for a physical demonstration. They go through a few positions - spit roasting, one laid under her while the other stands over them, her on her knees with one behind her and the other in front of her - until they're all on their knees and she's sandwiched between their hard, muscled chests. One is holding her hips while the other has her waist.

"Wbat would you like in this position?" Hawk asks from behind her.

She clears her throat and hums. "Well... I've always wanted to be double stuffed..."

Before she knows it, both of their cocks are stuffed in her cunt, stretching out her fat pussy. When one pushes in, the other is pulling out, then he pushes in and the other pulls out. They roughly fuck her while rubbing against each other in her tight velvet walls. Hawk's really going at it, hips smacking into her fat ass with each thrust, while Miguel is lost in her big tits, practically suffocating in them as they push and pull her back and forth on their cocks.

Hawk asks her about their technique and she moans with approval. "Perfect, just like that. Pleasure each other while using my cunt."

Miguel moans and tries to pull away from her tuts, but she wraps her arms around his head and pulls him back. He latches onto her nipple in the process and sucks aggressively, all his inhibitions long gone as he leaves her tits covered in hickeys and her nipples wet and puffy.

She's so lost in the pleasure, a little drool even dripping down her chin and onto her chest. Hawk squeezes her hips, holding them hard enough thay she knows they'll bruise, but she doesn't care. She dizzy with each of their hard thrusts, but she knows she'll be scheduling them for another appointment very very soon.

[path-of-grass-and-leaves]

Localizing A Magical Journal

When I was starting out, every book I read on the subject of witchcraft seemed to contain a long list of crystals and imported herbs. Many of these were not easily accessible and didn't fit into my personal practice. Magic came easier to me and became significantly more meaningful after I started localizing my practice.

It has also made writing my magical journal that much easier. Even after over a decade of practice, I still found the task of writing a grimoire to be a daunting one. Adding more local and personal elements to my practice has helped me to organize my journal, making the act of actually writing in it much less strenuous.

If you're looking to localize your grimoire and don't know how to get started, here are a few ideas:

Sections for Native and Invasive Plants

This section can include folklore, culinary uses, medicinal uses, cultivation, a planting calendar, which animals/insects they attract, and a personal correspondence list. I would write one chapter for invasive plants and another for native ones. Additionally, you could add a section for garden crops if desired. I would also add notes on toxicity to humans and pets.

Why work with invasive plants? Because they're abundant! Foraging them helps reduce their population and we get the benefit of a new plant to use in our practice. In fact, mugwort, a popular herb among the occult community, is an invasive plant where I live.

Local Animal Symbolism Section

I organize my animal symbolism section by mammals, reptiles, birds, amphibians, and fish. These chapters can include folklore, physical characteristics, behavior, habitat, diet, and correspondences/symbolism.

Entries can be made more personal by observing animals and recording experiences (just no hand feeding or interacting). I also like to include different forms of veneration. This can be spiritual in nature, like leaving offerings, or mundane, like installing a nesting box for birds.

A chapter on bugs and insects is also a good idea. This could be helpful if you keep an outdoor garden and want to record information on common pests and pollinators.

Local Stones and Crystals

One of the least ethical occult practices, in my opinion, is the use of crystals. The rising popularity of crystals is the cause of a lot of suffering. Does that rose quartz really promote love when it was sourced through child labor? It's important to know where your crystals come from and how they are harvested.

One way to localize your stone and crystal collection is to research which are specific to your area and where to find them. For example, there are certain rivers in my area that contain agate, jasper, and quartz. If you can't go out and search for them yourself, finding an ethical distributor to purchase from is more than sufficient.

Entries can include their composition, how they are formed, what they are used for, and personal correspondences.

Family Recipies and Local Edible Plants

I imagine that having a recipe section would be very important to a practitioner who performs most of their workings in the kitchen. I love to cook, but it rarely makes its way into my practice unless I'm preparing an offering of some sort. Either way, I think that having even a small section of culinary recipes can be beneficial, because it adds a personal element to a grimoire.

I would include your favorite recipes, family recipes, and even dishes that can be made from locally foraged plants. Correspondences can also be noted for each dish and recipes can be specific to certain deities, holidays, or workings.

Urban Legends and Local Superstitions

Urban legends and local ghost stories can be a fun addition to any personal grimoire. You can research the origins of these stories, read the personal experiences of others, and record them in your journal. You can also visit places associated with urban legends (only if it's safe and legal to do so) and record your own experiences.

Another way of localizing your grimoire is to research common superstitions in your area and where they come from, or record your own family superstitions.

Local Spirits and Places of Importance

For spirit workers, research local spirits and entities, their associations, appearance, and origins. In addition to this, write individual entries on spirits that you work with personally. I would include their assumed appearance, location, personality, how to call them, preferred offerings, and areas of strength/weakness. You can also add a section on thoughtforms, if you use them in your practice.

It's also important to think about which local areas are significant to you personally. Is it a river? A clearing in the woods? A hiking trail? Your own backyard? Make a list of areas that inspire you. How can you get there? What grows there? What kind of animals live there? Are there spirits? Would you perform specific workings in these areas?

[thefuzzzz]

Ranking Nico Di Angelo ships as a multishipper with a crazy imagination, a Nico hyperfixation of 3 years, and the willpower of a god:

1. Solangelo - 8/10 I love them!! I adore Will in TSATS and he’s easily one of my favorite characters. I wish Rick had let us get to know Will separately before he was immediately made Nico’s boyfriend, but I love him anyway. I think they’re good for each other and very supportive. I think I spend too much time consuming media of them than their actual book interactions, because in media I hate their fanon portrayals, but I adore them in cannon. I only had the chance to read half of TSATS, but I thought it was cute!

2. Jasico - 10/10 I love them for the same reasons I love Solangelo, but Jason got character development and Will didn’t. Also, they had a cool moment with Cupid that I think about once a week at least. Jason is constantly someone Nico trusts and (I may be wrong) hugs at some point in the series. The only people Nico has shown direct physical affection to within the series (to my knowledge) are Will, Jason, Hazel, and Reyna. This proves how much Nico trusts Jason, even after Cupid. Also they’re silly and dumb and I love them so I’m right always

3. Nico x Conner - 10/10 I FUCKING LOVE THEM SO MUCH. Lemme explain. So when Nico came to camp he stayed with the Hermes cabin, but Luke was already fucked off (I think) so Conner and Travis were probably in charge of the cabin. Conner’s age changes several times, so I headcannon him to be just a tad older than Nico. I think since he knew Nico when he was a kid he can make present day Nico less doom and gloom and know when he’s truly happy. Also, Nico went to a notably strict military school before coming to camp, yk what they say, strict conditions raise sneaky kids. Thats right, these two are fucking nuts. They are little thieves. And I don’t even wanna mention the implications of Conner’s dad (Lin Manuel Miranda) being the god of travelers and Nico essentially being an eternal traveller. They make me so sick I love them

4. Nico x Clovis - 7/10 they were mentioned as friends MAYBE once and I took that shit and ran with it tbh. I don’t even remember if it’s cannon. I just love them. I THINK it was mentioned that Clovis helps Nico with his nightmares, but atp this shit might just be my imagination or a fic I read once. Anyways, Nico is noted as a very anxious person, and Clovis is very laid back. I really like that duo and the idea that Clovis can help to ground him a lot and help him relax

5. Valdengelo - 6/10 while I do adore them, they have hardly any time together or any bonding moments at all (Note: I am a hypocrite over Clovis let’s fight abt it) I do love media about them and consume it at rates not comprehendible by mankind though. Aside from no time together, I think they’re epic. Nico experiences a lot of the same things as Leo, such as losing his mother and general sadness, but they cope in wildly different ways (neither of which are healthy). Also, Nico grew up in the lotus casino. I’m sick of us all acting like he doesn’t understand technology. Let them be engineer boyfriends PLEASE

6. Pernico. - 0/10 I don’t care at all if other people ship them, since it’s fandom and you can do whatever you want. I just personally don’t enjoy their chemistry and see them more as brothers. You do you tho.

Keep in mind this is just my opinion please don’t take anything too personal!! I love all ships (almost.) equally and if you have any fic recommendations for any of these please give them to me I’m desperate

(Also, this doesn’t represent my FAVORITE Nico ship, just a ranking based on how much I giggle when I see them. It does not take many logistics into account)

[julietasgf]

Can you elaborate more on your thoughts about jokes on Coriolanus having a type? Tbh I find endearing that he would have a soft spot for people with specific physical traits, like brown eyes, but that’s me choosing a more favorable (?) interpretation because I’m fond of him. I’m not blind to his canon character though, and I can definitely see how it can be interpreted as him fetishizing a specific kind of people…I don’t like it but I can 10000% see where you’re coming from, and like I say, I don’t mind the discussion :)

hello anon!! ty for the ask, and ofc I can!

warnings for this post: this post will contain discussions of racism, xenophobia and fetishization.

(before starting, I think it's valid to highlight two things: one is that ofc my opinion can be biased, because I don't like coriolanus. second is that my opinion is also influenced by some real life experiences, so it's very personal and it's completely understandable and valid if people don't share it or don't have the same vision over it!)

I feel like tbosas can be interpreted in various lenses (and ofc you can disagree with me at any point of this text), but particularly, when reading a work (specially a dystopic one), I prefer applying real life situations and comparisons. for tbosas, regarding coriolanus and his thoughts, the interpretation I usually go for is: coriolanus is racist and xenophobic. of course we can say that it comes a lot from his context, from his family, considering that his grandma says that district people only drink water because it doesn't rain blood (and though this is a line a lot of people remember, one less reminded of is the one about how she at first confuses mrs. plinth with a servant by the end of the book).

coriolanus is not favorable on district people, even more so than plenty of his capitol colleagues. and still, despite showing clearly his despise for them, we have two cases of him interacting and forming a close bond with two district people:

sejanus and lucy gray.

since this post is about fetishization, let's start with his relationship with lucy gray, since it's his canon love interest and in which we can see some of these signs manifestated.

the biggest difference between just having a type vs fetishizing someone (in specific, poc) is that fetishization comes from an idea that these people are not really people. they are ideas. they are attractive concepts. these are not real life persons with tastes, they are just a hot thought. fetishization takes root in dehumanization. and knowing this, here are some lines with how coriolanus refers to lucy gray:

"His filly in a race, his dog in a fight. The more he had treated her as something special, the more she’d become human."

"Here in the Capitol, it was a given that Lucy Gray belonged to him, as if she’d had no life before her name was called out at the reaping."

"A second-class citizen. Human, but bestial. Smart, perhaps, but not evolved. Part of a shapeless mass of unfortunate, barbaric creatures that hovered on the periphery of his consciousness."

coriolanus doesn't see lucy gray as human. he doesn't see people like lucy gray as human. and it's from that where the issue comes from: when feeling attracted to lucy gray, he likes the idea of her, and the idea of staying with her. in D12, in some parts, he comes close to even romanticize the thought of a "free" life with her (and of course, leaving aside the fact that she has a life herself, and that life is not wasy; it's once again the idea of the thing, and an idea that sounds almost "exotic" to him, because lucy gray is different from anything he has seen in the capitol).

(I also think it's important to highlight that fetishization has inherent roots in sexualization. coriolanus makes points in D12 about lucy gray's "questionable past" and the idea that it's implied she have done sex work before.)

now, let's talk about sejanus, the second district person coriolanus has a bond in the book. this is how coriolanus talks about sejanus and his family int he book:

"Ma might be pathetic, but she was something of an artist in the kitchen."

"The thought of blackmailing old Strabo Plinth had definite appeal."

"You could put a turnip in a ball gown and it would still beg to be mashed" (referring to the way ma plinth was dressed)

"Sejanus had already usurped his position, his inheritance, his clothes, his candy, his sandwiches, his privilege due a Snow."

"[...] well-fed district boy with the cloddish accent" (referring to sejanus)

"Coriolanus' first impulse had been to join his classmates' campaign to make the new kid's life a living hell." (referring to thinking about participating in the bullying of sejanus for him being district; coriolanus decided to ignore sejanus, but only because he thought it would be a waste his time bullying sejanus)

in specific, it strikes to me that coriolanus mocks district traditions. what he says about the death tradition of D2 is, word by word: "Primitive people with their primitive customs. How much bread had they wasted with this nonsense?"

I could go further in how coriolanus' intense hatred for the plinths and sejanus doesn't come mainly from a class struggle feeling, specially because coriolanus hangs out with other kids from the capitol and the academy (extremely rich and powerful kids), but he doesn't show the same intense hatred in the same way. however, this is a discussion for another time. the point now is exactly how despite coriolanus not seeing sejanus and his family as human beings... in D12, he still hangs out with sejanus. he still hugs him, and still goes out with him.

and in the moment sejanus acts just a bit out of how he expected him to (even after sejanus have been a good friend for him so many times in D12), coriolanus got him killed.

coriolanus hates district people. he sees them as primitive, he sees them as uncivilized, and still. still, he hangs out with them. he forms bonds with them, that, in the end, are just harmful for the people in question, because he doesn't see them as humans.

I searched just to be sure, but just like sejanus, lucy gray got no concrete book description besides her clothing + some small aspects (her having dark, curly hair, for example). sejanus being poc coded can be discussed (though I have strong opinions on this, and how I really think the plinths were meant to be poc immigrant coded, as there's a literal line in the book where someone says: "go back to two, then! who'd miss you?") but it's been pointed out so many times and by so many people how lucy gray is romani coded, and though I won't go deep into this because I'm not romani and it's not my place to speak on this topic specifically, this only highlights some of the stuff coriolanus says and thinks about her, considering the extremely harmful stereotypes and portrayals of romani women. this is the way coriolanus' grandma talks about her (reminding that lucy gray is just 16 years old):

"She's district. And, trust me, that one hasn't been a girl in a long time."

before heading to the end of this, it's important to say lucy gray doesn't identify herself as district. she identifies herself as covey, and it's one of the reasons on why coriolanus can handle "better" the thought of him falling for a girl that comes from the districts. more than once, he tries to make mental gymnastics to convince himself that lucy gray isn't district, she's different, she's special, she's an exception to the rule, therefore, it's okay for him to fall for her:

"She seemed to have no love for District 12, always separating herself from it, saying she was, what was it... Covey?"

again, all of these thoughts and views come from a very specific interpretation, and you're free to disagree with me, specially because I don't think collins intended to make a criticism on fetishization of poc. however, specially translating these to modern setting issues, I can't help but feel a bit offput by the thought that (considering a shipping context) coriolanus would clearly have a type, yes, but it comes from a very specific place, and it only causes harm to the ones he gets in relationships with.

again, anon, tysm for the ask! I hope I expressed my thoughts in an okay way (specially because english isn't my first language, so sorry for any typos or confusing expressions). again, this is just my opinion, and you're totally free to disagree! take care <3

[ddarker-dreams]

Patiently waiting for your thoughts on Fontaine’s new archon quest 🫡

oh man. i do have some thoughts to share.

(warning for spoilers to those who haven't played through the latest archon quest)!

OKAY, so — overall? i enjoyed it. the fortress of meropide section felt a little tedious at times, i'm begging mihoyo to abandon those awful 'stealth' 'gameplay' sections. aside from that though, i was always interested enough to keep moving ahead. i especially like how they wrote navia. the story of her and her father got me emotionally invested in her as a character, i actually teared up at one point.

i was glad they avoided their infamous 'introduce a character and have them betray you' shtick. idk if that was a quota they had to reach before and that's why they did it so often, but in any case, it made for a refreshing change. the reveal of fontaine's history, the serial disappearances, focalors and furina; there were lots of intriguing story beats. furina's story might somehow be one of the saddest in genshin yet?? the execution of the reveal and the final conversation between focalors and neuvillette packed a strong emotional punch.

onto my gripes...

childe. why. why'd they do my man like that. the buildup was so interesting! the cutscene where he helps neuvillette subdue the space whale had me frothing at the mouth. him in his foul legacy armor ... his leitmotif playing... him growling and grunting.... oh, how happy i was, naïve thing that i am. i was a bit confused how they dedicated a total of three seconds to traveler and the floating fiend going 'oh wow there's childe ig.' like ??? at this point in the story, i thought they were sorta buddies??

the space whale's execution confused me. i expected it to be deeply tied to fontaine's past, or at the very least give some abyss bread crumbs, but it just kinda flopped around and stuff. the fight was cool, don't get me wrong. but the whole 'yeah this whale is some dude's pet lol' bit just felt odd. i get that they want to prove the Big Important Name Fella is suuuper important and suuuper strong but c'mon. at least make the space whale a creation that ran rampant or something.

i could've forgiven the space whale shenanigans if we got a nice conversation with childe at the end. how did he feel in the abyss? was he fighting the whale to keep the people of fontaine safe, out of bloodlust, or something in between? what was it like seeing skirk again? how much time felt like it passed when he was in whale abyss prison? does his vision resonate with him properly again?

instead, we just get a few throwaway lines that he's back in snezhnaya healing up. did they run out of budget to book his VA?? i get they have to be selective with lore drops, but there are so many ways around that.

my last major gripe is how they went about furina's character quest. maybe i'm just an oversensitive weenie (i definitely am), but the traveler and flying creature's interactions with furina... i was physically grimacing. how did they seriously think it was a good idea to ask the person who has been tormented by acting for 500 years to give the stage another shot? imo, it would've been fine if they tried that, furina rejected them, and everything played out about the same. but those bits where traveler + the imp kept pressuring furina felt so weeeeeeird. i genuinely didn't want to click the dialogue options. if this was framed differently, that would've also been fine, but it's kinda a 'haha :3 epic paimon says teehee te nandayo reddit gold' light.

tl;dr i liked the overall experience but someone needs to delete paimon from the game + treat their characters as more than a punchline.

[humaforever]

in the books they say that harry used to do umas bidding and carlos especially says that he remembers that, i think he said smth like “i bet harrys with her, he’s always following her around” i don’t really remember the exact words but i don’t have the physical book anymore so I can’t check :( i wish they had a flash back or smth and i feel like it would really funny like harry snatching stuff and his excuse would be “it’s for uma” and since everyone’s scared of ursula they’ll let it slide. or if carlos is speaking from experience like he stole one of cruellas furs and carlos was the one who got punished (I can’t imagine how she would punish him since her furs are her babies) and id also like to see little uma and little harry just hanging out or like their interactions. actually that just made me realize that there are probably fanfics in that prompt so ik what im gonna be doing after i submit this lol. that brings me to another point i don’t remember if this is stated in the books but the desendants wiki says that there each others oldest friends on the isle. im not sure if that means uma doesn’t consider mal as a friend anymore or that drumroll….. harry came first (dun dun dunnnn) idk if it’s only me but I just noticed this lol (im slow :( ) and that could mean that harry and uma were friends while she was friends with mal. i can see this going in a couple different ways, but the most likely one is that uma didn’t consider harry and a friend but more like some kid following her around that did stuff for her. like a hentchman (is that how you spell it??) anyway, I could ramble on about this all day but I think this is a good place to stop.

(this is what happens when I don’t open tumblr or ao3 for wayyyy too long)

p.s i hope ur feeling better after ur wisdom tooth surgery!

I can totally picture baby Harry walking up to a store and grabbing a bunch of stuff, being like "It's for Uma" with the biggest smile on his face. I mean that's a great reason to steal in my opinion, Harry's too. Harry has been getting gifts and trinkets for Uma since they were little and that's adorable.

I would also like to see baby Harry and Uma walking around in Cruella's fur coats. Not caring how dirty they're getting or how they're dragging on the ground and getting messed up.

Also, yes, I do think Harry came before Mal. It just makes sense because in the books it says that Mal and Uma lived on opposite sides of the isle. Whereas Harry and Uma lived down the street from each other. It seems more logical that Harry and Uma would've known each other first.

Personally I hc that little Mal and Harry hated each other because they were both seeking attention from Uma and didn't like when she gave attention to the other. Maybe it's just me but I don't really think Uma ever saw Harry and Gil as "henchmen." I don't think Mal thought that way about her friends either, not really. Maybe that's just what they would say because "friends" are frowned upon on the isle. I doubt Uma ever thought of Harry as just some kid, it doesn't really seem like her.

[textfromthelookout]

Did you hear of the news?

I have. :(

Everyone else has their tributes so, here, a summary of my experience with Dragon Ball.

I was in fourth grade art class. A kid had the February 2005 issue of Shonen Jump, back when Shonen Jump was still physically printed here. I recognized Atem on the front cover because the Blockbuster around the corner from our house had DVDs (I think they were DVDs and not VHSs then since I distinctly remember it having a menu and special features) of some of the later episodes of Duelist Kingdom and my brother and I watched them on repeat. So I was like oh, hey, what's this? They make books of that stuff? I don't remember the conversation but the kid ended up giving me that issue, and I took it home with me.

There were a LOT of significant, groundwork things happening in that issue, now that I think about it. We were just beginning to see Sanji truly in action against Pearl. The Dark Tournament was in it's early stages still with Roto fucking around and finding out against Kurama. Sakura shears off her hair in a move that rearranged sexualities the world over. The reason Atem was on the cover was because Yu-Gi-Oh Millennium World was just debuting its first and second chapter. Bleach wasn't even serialized yet. And Dragon Ball, of course, was also there, about a hundred and fifty chapters ahead of everybody else.

Keep in mind that this was my first experience with manga, period. So my very first experience with Dragon Ball opened on this:

and ended on this:

Yeah. Truth be told, at the time Yu Yu Hakusho piqued my interest more than Dragon Ball (a guy fighting with plants? how creative!) but I never did forget these chapters. I thought the art style was so different from the others.

At some point after this, probably between several months and a year and a half, the TV happened to be on one evening when Toonami was airing Dragon Ball Z. Oh hey, I said, I recognize that art, I know those characters. So I hung around and watched some of episode 281. Two things about watching that episode stick with absolute crystal clarity in my mind to this day. Firstly: Buu choking Vegeta out with his arm freaked me the FUCK out as a child. I could not tell you why I had a fear reaction to it but hey, there you go. The second is this:

Specifically I remember 'You died once. If anything happens to you now, you won't exist anymore. There'll be nothing I can do to bring you back.' Not precisely word for word over the years, but Schemmel's tone of voice on this particular lineread. If I had to guess I'd say it was because at that point in my life, uh, death was kinda permanent? So wait, what do you mean died ONCE. Doesn't that apply to everyone?

This still wasn't enough to get me super invested in it though, it just didn't seem like something that would appeal to me that much. So a couple years go by, I don't think about it all that much, and then of course, TFS hits the scene and drops DBZ Abridged. So you know. As a shithead middle schooler with a shithead sense of humor I thought it was the best damn thing since sliced bread. (My biggest character flaw is that I still think a lot of Season 1 is genuinely funny)

And that was really the extent of my interaction with the franchise for the next several years. Say what you will about DBZA but they did manage to put it all together such that someone who had a nonexistent concept of what the original context was could grok it with not a lot of effort. Some time in high school, I think I was around 15, I decided to bite the bullet and read all the manga, as much to increase the funny factor of DBZA as sheerly for the sake of being able to say I had. Stick it to the other weebs, y'know. Now they can't say I didn't know anything about good anime. This was unfortunately at a time when all that was available online were dirty poor-quality scans and questionable translations, but read it I did. I went 'yep, that sure is about what I expected', and proceeded to get on with my life. GT came and went, I looked up and saw Battle of Gods coming out and went 'oh hey that's still a thing huh', kinda was peripherally aware of all the divisiveness of Super as it was happening, didn't really pay it much attention, just stuck to DBZA and quite a lot of wiki-ing.

And then, this time of year about three years ago now, in the middle of conversation with @prophecydungeon, Dragon Ball somehow came up. Something to do with 'Even though I'm not hugely into DBZ's story or whatever Toriyama does have some great character designs' (yes I was referring to Vegeta and Future Trunks at the time, no i will not stop being predictable, yes i am a parody of myself). They eventually brought up the DBS Broly movie and said, and i quote: 'that was a solid 1.5h of unbelievably fun and wacky animation'. Having seen the Gogeta vs Broly part of it on twitter and been like 'damn that animation's kinda off the hook actually, good for them good for them', my response was to be like. Oh word? I've got a spare hour and a half to kill, sure, fuck it, why not, time to watch DBS Broly.

I think that movie was precision crafted to hit me in the hyperfixation, if we're being honest. Opening on a solid 20 minutes of Lore and Worldbuilding and then having most of the rest of the runtime being mindless slobberknocker fun by way of some of the hardest animation flexes ever? I was done for.

In summation. I have been aware of Dragon Ball for a lot of my life, in that its presence was pervasive and enduring as I grew up. I may have been late to the game of actually wholeheartedly enjoying it, but enjoy it I do. Dragon Ball is the roots of a vast tree of anime, and in reading it I began to understand why that is. I respect it for that, and I love it for that. My current fixation may have shifted, but as far as time devoted to one individual thing goes... it took me a year and a half to watch my way through all of the anime and read all of the manga. ALL of it. So there's something good in there, I'd say.

[storybookprincess]

Liv. I have been wondering. As someone who works in the library scene, do you have any advice on how to get there? I'm really interested in that line of work ans college is coming up fast, I was just wondering if you have any personal thoughts!

i’m gonna take two different approaches to answering this question. first, the purely logistical answer:

lots of folks don’t know this, but to actually be a full fledged librarian, you need a masters degree. however, there are lots of folks in paraprofessional roles (like me!!!!) who only have an undergrad degree. so first things first, get an undergrad degree in a related field (mine is in english, but education might be an even better fit). my advice would be NOT to go straight through to your masters, but instead get some boots on the ground experience in a paraprofessional role first to be sure this is really your desired path before shelling out the money for your masters

this brings me to my second point, which is that based solely on my own experience (a small rural public library), most folks have absolutely no clue what they are getting into when they enter the library field. i don’t regularly talk about books with anyone. i never read on the clock. instead, let me run you through my workday so far:

- i field 3 separate phone calls from a patron who is actually banned from our physical locations following a violent incident, but still calls us regularly. i look up some tv scheduling info for him, all the while deescalating the shit out of the situation, because he’s not happy with the info i’m giving him & i want to keep our conversation positive

- i shred a ton of documents for a patron. we don’t normally shred things for the public, but this is our compromise, because otherwise this patron will flush them down the toilets & ruin our plumbing

- i send a fax for a patron that inexplicably takes an hour to go through

- i provide a ton of tech help, spending about a half hour with a patron fighting with our state’s department of revenue website to try to file the fuel taxes for her trucking business

- this is all between check ins, check outs, shelving, and loads of other small interactions too brief to be of note

- worth mentioning that we’re extremely short staffed today, so it was only a coworker & me for the first half of the shift

i’ve omitted a lot of personal details to protect patron privacy & avoid engaging in trauma porn, but believe me when i say that there’s a ton of additional context that makes a lot of these interactions all the more precarious & challenging

all of this is to say that if you want to be happy in a patron facing public library role, you need to love people, embrace chaos, and have extraordinary customer service skills

therefore, i recommend getting volunteer & work experience with the public while in college, ideally with vulnerable populations. make sure you love it. hone your people skills. and then enter the library world with confidence!!!! it’s insane but awesome

[trebol-negro]

A bedtime story

Based on @idoodlestuffsometimes ' AU

Original painting: Reflection in Blue by Eva Bonnier

Mad Lord Metanoy had never been someone to fall asleep easily. Everyone in the castle knew that. During this past week in particular those who guarded Metanoy's room would hear more footsteps and more broken pottery than usual during the night. More screaming, more throwing books.

Nobody knew what caused this sudden change in behavior, but the guards seemed to enjoy speculating about it.

Hunter knew. That last mission was tough. He knew he should have done a better job covering those new scars he had. He knew how his father usually reacted to him getting hurt and now he had to deal with the consequences.

He hated having to hear everyone around him talk about his father as if he was just a hassle, but most of all he hated knowing that he was the reason why his health was worsening.

He knew that going into his room without the Emperor's permission would surely grant him a punishment. Maybe he would be sent into another dangerous mission. Maybe he would be forbidden from seeing his father for a month. Maybe he would have to experience the physical consequences of one of his uncle's outbursts. He didn't care. The only thing in his mind was making sure that his father was alright.

When he opened the door he thought for sure that his father must have initially mistaken him for one of the guards. He saw his expression quickly change from anger to relief to concern.

- Hey, dad.

- Hunter, my fledgeling, what are you doing here? Did your uncle give you permission to enter?

Hunter paused

- Yes. - He lied. - He told me to check on you. To make sure you were asleep.

Metanoy knew he was lying. His brother would have never allowed him to visit without his supervision. Hunter noticed this and fearing he might get kicked out he quickly tried to convince his father.

- Dad, please.- his expression clearly concerned - You haven't slept for more than a week, please let me help. I know you're worried about me and because of that... - A tear started rolling down his cheek - It's my fault you've gotten worse and I just want to make it up to you, so please let me help you. I...

Soon more tears came out. Metanoy, who was sitting on his bed reached to Hunter's face with his hand and wiped away the tears with his thumb.

- Hunter, my boy. My beautiful fledgeling. Please don't say that. It's not your fault and it never will. I'll rest if that's what you want but please stop blaming yourself. You did nothing wrong.

After tucking himself into his bed Metanoy looked around his room and pointed to one of the few books he hadn't thrown out of the shelves.

- Maybe I could use a bedtime story.

Hunter, now more calmed, grabbed the book. He recognized it, it was his favorite book from when he was a kid. It wasn't a story book, but a book about birds, filled with pictures and fun facts about different species.

He sat down next to his father and started reading. Maybe it was because this was the first time they had been together without the Emperor controlling every single one of their interactions, maybe it was because of all those sleepless nights, but Metanoy soon started to relax himself, his eyes slowly closing and a small smile appearing on his face. He was thinking about all the good memories he had shared with Hunter, about how much he loved his son.

After a while Hunter started to feel sleepy himself. He looked around the room trying to keep himself awake. He looked at his father, now peacefully asleep. He looked at the candles, illuminating the room with their warm light. He looked at all the books that his father had thrown out of the shelves. He looked at the book he was holding, wondering why it wasn't on the floor before, and then it clicked. The reason why it was the only one well placed on the shelf.

- I love you too, dad - he whispered looking at him before completely closing his eyes too.

In the morning his uncle would find that he was not in his room. In the morning his uncle would punish both of them for disobeying orders. But for now, they were together. They were asleep. But most importantly, they were happy.

So, this was my first time writing what could be considered a short fanfic. Hope you all enjoyed it. If some sentences seem weirdly structured to you please remember that writing isn't my thing and that English isn't my first language.

Extras:

[dreamsndmadness]

Hello!! Me again, :)

I read the newest chapter(of bloodlines, which was awesome) and I was wondering about Paul. What about Feyd endears Paul? Honestly, Feyd doesn’t seem like someone Paul would be with given the choice especially considering Feyds first impression. It seems to me that at this point even tho Paul and his mother are still being the plotting little schemers we know and love and that Paul’s affections could be apart of some plan of theirs, his emotional boundaries are still somewhat being chipped away at by Feyd.

Also btw this isn’t relevant to the characters but I love how you worked your way around feyds social ineptness to give the readers hints to understanding Paul, for example in chapter 6 when they’re talking about the spice shipments and Paul says “it’s only been a few weeks since the change” and he gets a cloudy look in his eyes; I interpreted that as him also reflecting on how short it’s been since his father died and how his life has been drastically changed but Feyd doesn’t pick up on that at allllll lol.

Also do u mind if ppl draw fanart of ur fic? I’m a very slow artist but I’d love to draw some of ur scenes :3

Another wonderful question 😍.

To be quite honest about what Paul feels for Feyd, there really isn’t affection for him on Paul’s side (at this point!!). Feyd fell pretty fast and hard for obvious reasons. But there are so many more layers surrounding how Paul feels about Feyd. His kinda philosophy going into this was to basically have sex with him because he has to and remain extremely emotionally distant from this person who is part of the family that murdered his beloved father and destroyed his whole world. He very much would not have picked Feyd as a partner if situations were different. Which is part of the reason I am finding writing this story so fun, because it’s picking apart these characters' brains and figuring out a way they can fit together.

Very slight inklings of affection have been creeping up on him and will continue on to creep up on him in the coming chapters. But it is going to be a very slow burn for Paul emotionally. Where Feyd, at this point, is almost in love with him. I feel like each chapter represents another step forward in their relationship, for Feyd and Paul and oftentimes it means different things to them personally.

Paul is only just coming to acknowledge and accept that he’s physically attracted to this person, which in itself was a hard conclusion for him to come to as he was raped on his wedding night. Which was a frankly awful experience for him. Which is why we see him not physically turned on by Feyd for several encounters after that. He’s afraid and in his head and deeply uncomfortable. But Feyd has been pretty relentless about making sure Paul has an orgasm every time they fuck, so Paul was like “hold up… am I enjoying this?”. Basically, chapter 7 was him being like “okay, I enjoy having sex. But I think in order to make this better for the both of us, we need to come to some understandings about how we are going to have sex in the future”. He’s trying to figure out what he likes sexually as he was in fact a virgin before all of this went down. Basically he’s a little more comfortable around Feyd now, hence the slight playfulness in chapter 7 where he tickles him and then laughs at Feyd’s reaction. Honestly such a favorite moment of mine.

(Side note, Paul is going to have a POV chapter soon which will help to elucidate some of this).

So chapter 8 for Paul, that little interaction at the end. He's starting to see and understand that they have a common enemy and see how this could potentially open up some trust between them as they’ve both been hurt by this person. If anyone was wondering, yes I do think Paul knows about Feyd’s CSA. While I haven’t read the book yet, the movies seem to indicate that he gets flashes about people beside himself i.e. Dr Kynes when he knows that she loved and lost a Fremen warrior. In this story, Paul knows Feyd was sexually abused by his uncle. It helps give some perspective on this violent and frankly terrifying person in a way that allows him to feel sympathy and give a little more understanding and context to him as a person and their relationship as a whole. And the fact that at the end of chapter 8 Feyd seeks him out in a protective way rather than to demand sex, goes a long way in Paul having some more good will towards him.

In the next chapter, something else will happen as another step/layer to their relationship that will give Paul another “aha” moment. It’s going to help him feel even more comfortable in their marriage and kinda understand better how their dynamic is going to continue going forward (in a sexual and non sexual way).

Paul and Feyd are such different people with extremely disparate upbringings. Paul was deeply loved and protected by his parents who modeled love and affection for him and raised him to be an intelligent and empathetic person. However, he has little context for having friendships and relationships with people his own age or arguably at all. His only friends seemed to be his parents and much older mentor figures who were old enough to be his father or grandfather. Feyd is not only much younger than those people, but has absolutely no emotional maturity. So there's this very wide divide between them. To bridge that gap is going to take years. Which is why there is going to be more stories after bloodlines. It will not happen by the end of this fic. However, they are going to come to a (hopefully) satisfying emotional understanding by the last chapter. At least I’m very satisfied by it and excited to share it 😝.

If I could pinpoint what specifically endears Feyd to Paul, at this point… honestly not a lot… He is so so different from anyone he’s known before. I think he likes (sometimes), that Feyd surprises him (when it’s not a bad surprise, which honestly most of them have been). He’s much more of an instinctual and spontaneous person where Paul is thoughtful and analytical. I think he appreciates that Feyd seems to like him taking the lead in their sexual relationship. And I think he likes that Feyd seems to respect his intelligence and fighting abilities and actively seeks his council and input.

Oh my goodness this is incredibly long. Hopefully all of that makes sense 😝. Also, yes to Feyd not getting the implication behind Paul’s words in the scene about the time between the change.

ALSO YES PLEASE!!! Oh my goodness!!!!! If you made art for this story, I am not joking when I say I will print it out and frame 🥹❤️. (As long as you are okay with that, that is). Basically, I would be so honored and delighted.