#bro every single time I listen to I will fight

[soaked4mk]

Wade Wilson Boyfriend HeadCanons

👽:slowly but surely getting back into my writing 💅🏼 (not proof read just super horny like a clown 🤡 HONKAH HONKAH)

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SFW ♥️

★ Wade is a silly guy. So silly in fact, he’ll crack jokes or shoot a sarcastic comment your way—mid argument. “How am I supposed to listen when you look this good right now?” Fear not! Because he knows when to shut up. (When you tell him to)

★ Bro defo has a Roblox account. Not elaborating.

★ Despite his chaotic and reckless behavior, Wade is actually super protective and would go to extreme lengths to keep you safe. And then some. “Hey! Back off! Don’t you fuck with her! Unless you wanna fuck with me too. In that case we’ll need a sit down discussion for—“ “WADE!” “Right—sorry.”

★ Expect big, wild romantic gestures. Like standing outside your window while holding up a boom box. (playing ‘what you won’t do for love’ by Bobby Caldwell) or (attempting at) writing your name with fireworks. (There were definitely ‘unexpected’ explosions)

★ “I know it’s only Tuesday, but I totally, legally rented a helicopter so we can pretend we’re in the aveng—no? Okay…plan B then: Breakfast in bed with (penis) questionable pancakes.”

★ Cuddle bug Wade. Are we surprised? This man lives off of physical touch and affection. Wrapping you up in his arms, not letting you go with a shit eating grin. “Nope, you’re not leaving this couch. We’re practicing the ancient art of Wade Wrapping, which requires at least three hours of cuddles, just sayin.”

★ He is nonstop teasing you. It’s a hobby for him, really. (And his love language) Coming up with silly nicknames for you, challenging you to random games or chores, he’s not below making fun of himself to see you smile either.

★ “Oh-ho? You think you can wipe the track with me in Mario kart? That’s cute.” “Honey—you look fine. Approachable even. Unlike me…” (he says while laying limbless on the bed. Literally….)

★ Uses his dark humor to comfort you in times of ‘what the actual fuck?’ Knowing how to turn even the bleakest of moments into something a little lighter. “Hey, I know life might suck granny tits right now…but at least we’re not in a rom-com where one of us has to die or something worse for the other to grow emotionally, right?”

★ Unwaveringly supportive of you in any conflict. He is going to take your side. Every. Single. Time. Backing you up even if he has literally no idea what’s going on or why. “You said Rick was out of line at work today? Well guess who’s getting a strongly worded letter in the form of interpretive dance in the parking lot?” “Is it Ri—“ “it’s Rick.”

★ Wade loves experimenting in the kitchen with you! Attempting to make meals that sometimes end up in hilarious disasters, followed up by a take out order.

★ He breaks this…’fourth wall’ sometimes. Like looking off into the distance and talking to an invisible audience or camera while addressing you. This dead ass bewilders you at times. But mostly you roll your eyes at his antics.

★ “Can you believe this shit?” He’ll ask, turning to an imaginary audience. “I’m over here being the perfect boyfriend—funny, handsome, protective, all that—and you guys still think Peter Parker is the ‘Ideal Boyfriend’ pffft. Get real.” *turns back to you* “anyway, where were we?”

★ This overgrown man child is a PDA enthusiast. Unashamed of hugging, kissing, or trying to dip you during a playful dance in public. He doesn’t care, he’s proud to be with you and wants everyone to know it. “You know what this sidewalk needs? A spontaneous make out session”

★ One hundred percent would insist on wearing matching or theme outfits. Whether it’s full on costumes or something little like matching socks. “Ta-Da! Matching Taco Cat shirts—no, no. Don’t fight it. This is how we show the world we’re a team. Through peak fashion choices.”

★ Loves movie nights. They’re full of commentary, with your boyfriend narrating or making fun of the movie plots. He’d insist on watching rom-coms or action movies for sure.

★ You’ll receive unconventional love letters in the form of doodles, short jokes, or notes saying “I love you more than The Golden Girls. And that’s saying something. ;)”

★ Wade is a pretty chill dude. He’s not overboard with jealousy. But that won’t stop the man from making his classic (not so jokey) jokes when he feels like someone might be getting too close to you. “Oh, flirting? With you? Cute. Should I go over there and casually mention that I’m the love of your life and also really good with sharp objects?”

★ Beneath all the jokes and chaos, he has moments of genuine, heartfelt affection. Whispering his love and gratitude for you at unexpected times. “I know I never take shit for real. But I’m serious about you, about us. You’re my safe space, the one part of my life that makes sense on this stupid chunk of rock floating in space.”

★ Remembers odd little details about you. Showing it with unexpected gifts that align perfectly with your interests. (Even if they’re a bit off beat.) “I saw this super limited edition action figure of (favorite character). I had to get it for you—don’t ask me how, just say thank you and let’s run—“

★ Randomly belting out terrible renditions of love songs at the top of his lungs, just to get a laugh from you.

★ Acts tough for your amusement, like he’ll pretend to be all macho around your friends to make you laugh. “Yeah babe, I’m like, indestructible. Just gotta…” *struggles to open a jar of pickles* “wait—hold on. This jar is definitely cheating…”

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NSFW 🍆💦

★ Wade love love LOVESSS making you watch while playing with your pussy. Using his mouth, fingers and all kinds of cute little toys.

★ Tying your hands together, behind your back and sitting you in front of the mirror with your legs spread wide as he slowly circles your clit with a bullet vibrator, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. “You see how fucking wet you are for me, baby?” “Look. At. This~” “did I say to look away? Didn’t think so…”

★ He’s into all kinds of crazy shit—high key an exhibitionist.

★ Fucking you in a theatre bathroom, pressing you up against the stall while he covers your mouth, dipping the head of his cock teasingly into your aching cunt.

★ “I don’t give one shit if someone hears us, I need you. Now.” “Shhh baby, gotta stay quiet if you wanna cum.” “Stay still now…”

★ Eating you out in the back of the car, hands kneading your plush thighs while looking up at you with that knowing, shit-eating grin. Not even bothering to wipe you from his chin.

★ Struggling to keep your eyes on the man, a red flush taking over your face as the vibrations of his groans send shocks of pleasure through your entire body.

★ Fingering you under the table/using a remote control vibrator on you when you’re out having dinner. “Yeah that’s it for me and uh, what about you babe?” He asks nonchalantly, as if he weren’t bumping the bullet to its highest intensity or running his fingers over your panty clad pussy. All the tasty stuff. It’s the thrill of almost being caught for him.

★ Baby girl also LOVES when you take control. Straddling him, tying him up to the bed, slapping his face. He’s fucking into it.

★ F-fuckk~ wan—wanna touch you so bad~” he whimpers, hips bucking involuntarily while you ride him, bouncing in his lap with your hands on his shoulders and his cuffed. “Mmff—need to cum…please, please—I’ll do whatever you wa—aaah, fffuck!”

★ Wade loves to buy you new toys/lingerie sets all the time! He’ll come through the door with a bag full of new things to try out or on. “Oh, come on—put the bunny ears on…I’ll let you do that one thing you like.”

★ Costumes, dressing up, role play. Cops and robbers, Professor and student, Master and pet. He loves that shit and has a lot of fun with it.

★ “You have the right to remain silent, on your knees, now.” He’ll smirk, cuffing your hands behind your back, trailing a finger down your cheek before fucking your face. “Cock hungry bitch, aren’t ya? Such a good girl…” he croons, pulling at your leash.

★ “You call that begging, honey? Hate to break it to you sweetheart, but you’re gonna have to be louder than that if you want me to fuck you silly.” He teases, sending a sharp smack to your ass while prodding at your slick pussy with his shaft, making you arch and whine out for him.

★ If you’re into it, he has no issue with knife/gun play. “How does it feel…?” he purrs into your ear, slowly sliding the cold metal up your stomach, circling your belly button before trailing up your chest, then collarbone, pressing the blade/barrel to your throat/temple. “Scary? Hot? Scary-Hot?”

★ Loves making you squirt, finger fucking you into oblivion, thumb pressed against your clit until you can’t take anymore. “Fuck yeah, baby.” He pants, bringing his fingers up to his mouth and cleaning them with a simple ‘pop’.

★ “Mhhh…” Wade hums in delight before shoving the same fingers into your mouth—pushing past your teeth, forcing you to taste yourself with a groan “You’re so yummy, don’t you think?”

★ If you’re being a brat, expect proper punishment. “Oooh, talking back to me, huh?” He’ll ask, gripping your face with one hand, forcing you to keep eye contact. “Watch that damn mouth of yours, pretty bitch. And keep riding me—I didn’t say stop.”

★ He’ll make you grind your hips until you’re sore. It’s so fucking good it hurts. “Awww, my poor baby…look at you crying and riding. You must be exhausted, hmm?” Wade grunts, bouncing you on top his lap as if you were a rag doll. His cock slamming into you, hitting that sweet spot—never missing a beat. “Keep going—be a good girl and keep going…”

★ Once you’re both a spent, panting, boneless mess beside each other, he’ll shower you with praise and pepper your face with kisses, combing your unkempt hair with his fingers as he caresses your arm.

★ Wade would set up a diy spa in the bathroom for you. Complete with cucumber slices, a glass of wine (or whatever you want) and a bath that’s wayyy too bubbly. He’d try and give you a foot massage while joking “Only the royal treatment for my queen. Minus the actual royalty…those guys were more fucked up than half of Alabama…”

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👽:I wanna be SAVED Deadpool PLEASEEEE SLUT ME OUTTTT

[devil-changmin]

Putting it in the tags cuz it’s long, also Dec 18 tw

[demigod-of-the-agni]

Spider-Man India, but... where from India?

A SUPER long post featuring talks of: cultural identity, characterisation, the caste system, and what makes Spider-Man Spider-Man.

I’m prefacing this by saying that I am a second-generation immigrant. I was born in Australia, but my cultural background is from South India. My experiences with what it means to be “Indian” is going to be very different from the experiences of those who are born and brought up in India.

If you, reader, want to add anything, please reblog and add your thoughts. This is meant to be a post open for discussion — the more interaction we get, the better we become aware of these nuances.

So I made this poll asking folks to pick a region of India where I would draw Pavitr Prabhakar in their cultural wear. This idea had been on my mind for a long while now, as I had been inspired by Annie Hazarika’s Northeastern Spidey artwork in the wake of ATSV’s release, but never got the time to actually do it until now. I wanted to get a little interactive and made the poll so I could have people choose which of the different regions — North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South — to do first.

The outcome was not what I expected. As you can see, out of 83 votes:

THE RESULTS

South India takes up almost half of all votes (44.6%), followed by Northeast and Central (both 14.5%) and then East (13.3%). In all my life growing up, support towards or even just the awareness of South India was pretty low. Despite this being a very contained poll, why would nearly half of all voters pick South India in favour of other popular choices like Central or North India?

Then I thought about the layout of the poll: Title, Options, Context.

Title: "Tell us who you want to see…"

Options: North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South

Context: I want to make art of the boy again

At first I thought: ah geez. this is my fault. I didn't make the poll clear enough. do they think I want them to figure out where Pavitr came from? That's not what I wanted, maybe I should have added the context before the options.

Then I thought: ah geez. is it my fault for people not reading the entire damn thing before clicking a button? That's pretty stupid.

But regardless, the thought did prompt a line of thinking I know many of us desi folk have been considering since Spider-Man India was first conceived — or, at least, since the announcement that he was going to appear in ATSV. Hell, even I thought of it:

Where did Spider-Man India come from?

FROM A CULTURALLY DIVERSE INDIA

As we know, India is so culturally diverse, and no doubt ATSV creators had to take that into account. Because the ORIGINAL Spider-Man India came from Mumbai — most likely because Mumbai and Manhattan both started with the same letter.

But going beyond that, it’s also because Mumbai is one of the most recognisable cities in India - it’s also known as Bombay. It’s where Bollywood films are shot. It’s where superstar Hindi actors and actresses show up. Mumbai is synonymous with India in that regard, because the easiest way Western countries can interact with Indian culture is through BOLLYWOOD, through HINDI FILMS, through MUMBAI. Suddenly, India is Mumbai, India is a Hindi-only country, India is just this isolated thing we see through an infinitely narrow lens.

We’ve gotten a little better in recent years, but boy I will tell you how uncomfortable I’ve gotten when people (yes, even desi people) come up to me and tell me, Oh, you’re Indian right? Can you speak Hindi? Why don’t you speak Hindi? You’re not Indian if you don’t speak Hindi, that’s India’s national language!

I have been — still am — so afraid of telling people that I don’t speak Hindi, that I’m Tamil, that I don’t care that Hindi is India’s “national” language (it’s an administrative language, Kavin, get your fucking facts right). It’s weird, it’s isolating, and it has made me feel like I wasn’t “Indian” enough to be accepted into the group of “Indian” people.

So I am thankful that ATSV went out of their way to integrate as much variety of Indian culture into the Mumbattan sequence. Maybe that way, the younger generation of desi folk won’t feel so isolated, and that younger Western people will be more open to learning about all these cultural differences within such a vast country.

BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SPIDER-MAN INDIA?

Everything, actually. There’s a thing called supremacy. You might have heard of it. We all engaged with it at some point, and if you are Indian, no matter where you live, it is inescapable.

It happens the moment you are born — who your family is, where you are born, the language you speak, the colour of your skin; these will be bound to you for life, and it is nigh impossible to break down the stereotypes associated with them.

Certain ethnic groups will be more favourable than others (Centrals, and thus their cultures, will always be favoured over than Souths, as an example) and the same can be said for social groups (Brahmins are more likely to secure influential roles in politics or other areas like priesthood, while the lowers castes, especially Dalits, aren’t even given the decency of respect). Don’t even get me started on colourism, where obviously those of fairer skin will win the lottery while those of darker skin aren’t given the time of day. It’s even worse when morality ties into it — “lighter skinned Indians, like Brahmins, embody good qualities like justice and wisdom”, “dark skinned Indians are cunning and poor, they are untrustworthy”. It’s fucking nuts.

This means, of course, you have a billion people trying to make themselves heard in a system that tries to crush everyone who is not privileged. It only makes sense that people want to elevate themselves and break free from a society that refuses to acknowledge them. These frustrations manifest outwardly, like in protests, but other times — most times — it goes unheard, quietly shaping your way of life, your way of thinking. It becomes a fundamental part of you, and it can go unacknowledged for generations.

So when you have a character like Pavitr Prabhakar enter the scene, people immediately latch onto him and start asking questions many Western audiences don’t even consider. Who is he? What food does he eat? What does he do on Fridays? What’s his family like, his community? All these questions pop up, because, amidst all this turmoil going on in the background, you want a mainstream popular character to be like you, who knows your way of life so intimately, that he may as well be a part of your community.

BUT THAT'S THE THING — HE'S FICTIONAL

I am guilty of this. In fact, I’ve flaunted in numerous posts how I think he’s the perfect Tamil boy, how he dances bharatanatyam, how he does all these Tamil things that no one will understand except myself. All these niche things that only I, and maybe a few others, will understand.

I’ve seen other people do it, too. I’ve seen people geek out over his dark brown skin, his kalari dhoti, how he fights so effortlessly in the kalaripayattu martial arts style. I’ve seen people write him as Malayali, as Hindi, as every kind of Indian person imaginable.

I’ve also seen him be written where he’s subjected to typical Indian and broader Asian stereotypes. You know the ones I’m so fond of calling out. The thing is, I’ve seen so much of Pavitr being presented in so many different ways, and I worry how the rest of the desi folk will take it. 

You finally have a character who could be you, but now he’s someone else’s plaything. Your entire life is shaped by what you can and can’t do simply because you were born to an Indian family, and here’s the one person who could represent you now at the mercy of someone else’s whims. He’s off living a life that is so distant from yours, you can hardly recognise him.

It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, yeah? But, again, you’re looking at it from that infinitely narrow lens Westerners use to look at India from Bollywood.

AND PAVITR PRABHAKAR DOESN'T LIVE IN INDIA

He lives in Mumbattan. He lives in a made-up, fictional world that doesn’t follow the way of life of our world. He lives in a city where Mumbai and Manhattan got fucking squashed together. There are so many memes about colonialism right there. Mumbattan isn’t real! Spider-Man India isn’t real!! He’s just a dude!! The logic of our world doesn’t apply to him!!!

“But his surname originates from ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he’s wearing a kalari dhoti so surely he’s ______” okay but does that matter?

“But his skin colour is darker so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he lives in Mumbai so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

I sound insensitive and brash and annoying and it looks like I’m yapping just for the sake of riling you up, so direct that little burst of anger you got there at me, and keep reading.

Listen. I’m going to ask you a question that I’ve asked myself a million times over. I want you to answer honestly. I want you to ask this question to yourself and answer honestly:

Are you trying to convince me on who Pavitr Prabhakar should be?

... but why shouldn't i?

I’ll tell you this again — I did the same thing. You’re not at fault for this, but I want you to just...have a little think over. Just a little moment of self-reflection, to think about why you are so intent on boxing this guy.

It took me a while to reorganise my thinking and how to best approach a character like Pavitr, so I will give you all the time you need as well as a little springboard to focus your thoughts on.

SPIDER-MAN (INDIA) IS JUST A MASK

“What I like about the costume is that anybody reading Spider-Man in any part of the world can imagine that they themselves are under the costume. And that’s a good thing.”

Stan Lee said that. Remember how he was so intent on making sure that everybody got the idea that Spider-Man as an entity is fundamentally broken without Peter Parker there to put on the suit and save the day? That ultimately it was the person beneath the mask, no matter who they were, that mattered most?

Spider-Man India is no less different. You can argue with me that Peter Parker!Spidey is supposed to represent working class struggles in the face of leering corporate entities who endanger the regular folk like us, and so Pavitr Prabhakar should also function the same way. Pavitr should also be a working class guy of this specific social standing fighting people of this other social standing.

But that takes away the authenticity of Spider-Man India. Looking at him through the Peter Parker lens forces you to look at him through the Western lens, and it significantly lessens what you can do with the character — suddenly, it’s a fight to be heard, to be seen, to be recognised. It’s yelling over each other that Pavitr Prabhakar is this ethnicity, is that caste, this or that, this or that, this or that.

There’s a reason why he’s called Spider-Man India, infuriatingly vague as it is. And that’s the point — the vagueness of his identity fulfils Lee’s purpose for a character that could theoretically be embodied by anyone. If he had been called “Spider-Man Mumbai”, you cut out a majority of the population (and in capitalist terms, you cut out a good chunk of the market).

And in the case of Spider-Man India? Whew — you’ve got about a billion people imagining a billion different versions of him.

Whoever you are, whatever you see in Pavitr, that is what is personal to you, and there is nothing wrong with that, and I will not fault you for it. I will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from Central due to the origins of his last name. I also will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from South due to him practising kalaripayattu. I also will not fault you for saying he is not Hindu. I also will not fault you for saying he is a particular ethnicity without any proof.

What I will fault you for is trying to convince me and the others around you that Pavitr Prabhakar should be this particular ethnicity/have this cultural background because of some specific reason. I literally don’t care and it is fundamentally going against his character, going against the “anyone can wear the mask” sentiment of Spider-Man. By doing this, you are strengthening the walls that first divided us. You’re feeding the stratification and segmentation of our cultures — something that is actually not present in the fictional world of Mumbattan.

Like I said before: Mumbattan isn’t real, so the divides between ethnicities and cultural backgrounds are practically nonexistent. The best thing is that it is visually there for all to see. My favourite piece of evidence is this:

It’s a marquee for a cinema in the Mumbattan sequence, in the “Quick tour: this is where the traffic is” section. It has four titles; the first two are written in Hindi. The third title is written in Bengali*, and the fourth title is written in Tamil. You go to Mumbai and you won’t see a single shred of Bengali nor Tamil there, much less any other language that's not common in Maharashtra (Western India). Seeing this for the first time, you know what went through my head?

Wow, the numerous cultures of India are so intermingled here in Mumbattan! Everyone and everything is welcome!

I was happy, not just because of Tamil representation, but because of the fact that the plethora of Indian cultures are showcased coexisting in such a short sequence. This is India embracing all the little parts that make up its grander identity. This scene literally opened my eyes seeing such beauty in all the diverse cultures thriving together. In a place where language and cultural backgrounds blend so easily, each one complementing one another.

It is so easy to believe that, from this colourful palette of a setting, Pavitr Prabhakar truly is Spider-Man India, no matter where he comes from.

It’s easy to believe that Pavitr can come from any part of India, and I won’t call you out if the origin you have for him is different from the origin I have. You don’t need to stake out territory and stand your ground — you’re entitled to that opinion, and I respect it. In fact, I encourage it!!!

Because there’s only so much you can show in a ten minute segment of a film about a country that has such a vast history and even greater number of cultures. I want to see all of it — I want him to be a Malayali boy, a Hindi boy, a Bengali boy, a Telugu boy, an Urdu boy, whatever!! I want you to write him or draw him immersed in your culture, so that I can see the beauty of your background, the wonderful little things that make your culture unique and different from mine!

And, as many friends have said, it’s so common for Indian folks to be migrating around within our own country. A person with a Maharashtrian surname might end up living in Punjab, and no one really minds that. I’m actually from Karnataka, my family speaks Kannada, but somewhere down the line my ancestors moved to Tamil Nadu and settled down and lived very fulfilling lives. So I don’t actually have the “pure Tamil” upbringing, contrary to popular belief; I’ve gotten a mix of both Kannada and Tamil lifestyles, and it’s made my life that much richer. 

So it’s common for people to “not” look like their surname, if that’s what you’re really afraid about. In fact, it just adds to that layer of nuance, that even despite these rigid identities between ethnicities we as Indian people still intermingle with one another, bringing slivers of our cultures to share with others. Pavitr could just as well have been born in one state and moved around the country, and he happens to live in Mumbattan now. It’s entirely possible and there’s nothing to disprove that.

We don’t need to clamber over one another declaring that only one ethnicity is the “right” ethnicity, because, again, you will be looking at Pavitr and the rest of India in that narrow Western lens — a country with such rich cultural variety reduced to a homogenous restrictive way of life.

THE POLL: REINTERPRETED

This whole thing started because I was wondering why my little poll was so skewed — I thought people assumed I was asking them where he came from, then paired his physical appearance with the most logical options available. I thought it was my fault, that I had somehow influenced this outcome without knowing.

Truth is, I will never really know. But I will be thankful for it, because it gave me the opportunity to finally broach this topic, something that many of us desi folk are hesitant to talk about. I hope you have learned something from this, whether you are desi or a casual Spider-Man fan or someone who just so happened to stumble upon this. 

So just…be a little more open. Recognise that India, like many many countries and nations, is made up of a plethora of smaller cultures. And remember, if you’re trying to convince Pavitr that he’s a particular ethnicity, he’s going to wave his hand at you and say, “Ha, me? No, I’m one of the people that live here in the best Indian city! I’m Spider-Man India, dost!”

(Regardless, he still considers you a friend, because to him, the people matter more to him than you trying to box him into something he’s not.)

*Note: thank you dear anon for letting me know that the third title was Bengali, twas my mistake for literally completely forgetting

[hikarry]

I'm not really on the team that swears to Jesus and beyond that Crowley lost his memories after the Fall. Yes, of course, he forgot some stuff because, ya know, he has been alive for more than 6000 years and if I don't remember what I ate for lunch yesterday, Satan knows he won't remember every single second of his life, but he remembers the important things

"Ah, but what about him not remembering fighting alongside FurFur or building the thingy with Saraqael?"

Love, I give you two options:

Those are either some of the stuff he didn't consider important enough to remember OR he is just straight up fucking with them. He does remember, but why reveal it if playing dumb sometimes is good in the long run? Might be useful

Alas, I don't know, but I will die on the hill that he does remember

Which means he most probably remembers meeting Aziraphale. Not because Aziraphale was "important" at the time per se, or because it was love at first sight (because it wasnt, not for him. Bro was so focused on the nebula he didnt even introduce himself when Aziraphale did. He threw him a "Right. Nice to meet ya. Anyway, nebula time!"), but because he was there when Crowley created the nebula and, as he said, he had been waiting for that moment since "well, always". It's an important moment for him, so he remembers. Aziraphale just so happened to be present

I don't know if that was the only interaction they had in Heaven or not (and that's not the point I'm trying to get to so I will ignore that problem for a later post, maybe), but when the now Demon Crawley was sent up to the Garden, he did remember Aziraphale. That's why he approached him

Cmon, Crowley isn't stupid. Of course he wouldn't approach an angel on the wall just willy nilly and make conversation. He didn't know Aziraphale had given away the flaming sword yet. Just approaching an angel from behind and morph into a demon next to him out of nowhere could be a death sentence. Or at least an A Line for a good smitting

Yet, he did it. He had at least 3 other angels to choose from but he approached the angel that he remembered from back in the beginning that was kind enough to help him with the engine of the nebula. Hell! I even bet this was not the first time they saw each other in the Garden!

Bet they've seen and observed each other from afar a few times while they interacted with the humans (yes, cause I believe Crawley, before tempting Eve, tried to gain her trust. It's easier to listen to a friend than a random snake) or just around the Garden really.

That's why Aziraphale didn't get surprised when Crawley showed up at the wall, because he knew the demon snake had been around the Garden for a while. He probably even recognized him as the former Star Maker and hoped he was still a little bit of his old self so he allowed himself to engage in conversation

Anyhow, another clue? This:

He remembers how Heaven works. He remembers he was a high ranking angel. Satan, he remembers the bloody passwords!

Do you know what else he remembers?

Cause they didn't throw that line in there for nothing. No, gents. Cmon. Nothing is random in Good Omens

He knows who he was. He remembers being the Star Maker that hung the stars in the sky

He remembers why he fell, for goodness sake

And the fact that he remembers everything makes all of it so much more tragic, doesn't it? He remembers his life before the Fall, his supposed friends that dragged him into the pit with them, what Her love felt like, the "mistakes" he made that led to his Fall

And it must have hurt. It must have hurt so much when he found himself in a pit of boiling sulfur with his wings completely burned and without Her love because he remembered it all. He must have been so bloody confused for so long

He might have regretted it. All the questions and the company he kept that made him Fall. But he doesn't anymore.

He knows he doesn't need Heaven, he doesn't need Hell. They are toxic. All he needs is his pacific fragile existence on Earth with Aziraphale and yet...well, that's something else he won't forget now, is it?

*clears throat*

I rest my case

[starlight727]

One-way ticket to a Beast Cookie’s heart

How to get the Fallen Heroes to like you in an instant

Written by me cause I want to

Source: Trust me bro

One way to get the Beasts to like you is by showering them with constant attention. In this essay, I’ll be going through all the Beasts and how to befriend them.

Shadow Milk Cookie: He’s in the show business AND he’s silly, so basically just clap, laugh, smile, congratulate and appreciate him and he’ll follow you around like a lost puppy, coming up with ways to make you laugh cause you’re his favorite audience member. If you’re lucky, he might even call you his “Little Star” cause by then you’re the star of his show!

Eternal Sugar Cookie: Compliment her, flirt with her if you can, give her gifts from time to time and she’ll throw herself at you, giving you tight hugs and kisses, she might even invite you to sit on her cloud and sleep together.

Mystic Flour Cookie: Listen to her talk about the world and stuff, and you can tell her how much the world has changed since the Beasts were sealed. She will become interested in your knowledge of Earthbread and would like to know more about it. You can talk about your adventures and she’ll be sitting or floating next to you, listening carefully to every single word.

Silent Salt Cookie: He doesn’t talk much, so maybe what you could do is sit next to him and just have a normal conversation about anything, you can even offer to spar with him (hoping he doesn’t kill you in the process). If he ever does talk, you just sit back and listen, add your own comments whenever you can.

Burning Spice Cookie: YELLING COMPETITION!! He wants to fight and call you a weakling, SAY YOU DON’T GIVE A SHIT!! Let’s see how he reacts to your raw energy, let’s see if you’re as confident in your words as you are confident in BATTLE! Spar with him, compliment his ways of attacking and admire his pure strength, he’ll for sure want to see more of you and your wild side!

If it works, congratulations, you saved the world with the power of bullshitting your way out of trouble friendship/love (all that cheesy stuff you see in teen rom-coms and Disney Channel movies)! If it doesn’t, it was nice knowing you.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk and good luck!

[boyfiejay]

I love my girlfriend

PAIRING : Enhypen hyung line x female Youtuber! Reader

GENRE : fluff, bullet point

Warning : curse words, me rizzing up the reader😔

Word Count : 0.9k overall

Author's Note : this was long overdue☝🏻

Heeseung ☆

you're one of those underrated artists, that are underrated due to one sole reason

it's better to gatekeep a talented artist

yk the way some fans get sad that their favourites are now on everyone's fyp

yeah your fandom in a nutshell

they also thirst over you non stop

I mean you are stunning, gorgeous, beautiful, enchanting

just date me pookie

you used to be a youtuber before the music career fyi

imagine your fans' dilemma (dimension?) when you say out of nowhere that you have a bf

‘guys, my boyfriend sent me this :D’

and it's a silly picture of two cats or smtg

like your fans are fighting a fucking war on twt

and you are like cuddling with hee, listening to unreleased songs

you have no clue of what's going on

meanwhile heeseung…

he's ready to fight the war

posts a picture of you kissing his cheek on your insta story

he makes sure that only 1/4th of his face is visible

to keep his identity anonymous yk

…

your fans find his acc in 15 mins

he panics definitely 😭

tells you his innuendo after you wake up

and you're just like

‘yeah ok, sure’

WHY ARE YOU SO CHILL??

your boyfriend is getting deep fried on twt and you're like ‘el oh el’

dw your fans mean no harm

after a while they're like

‘they're cute tgt ig 😒’

Jay ☆

you're like a cooking channel

STAY W ME IK IT SOUNDS BASIC

you're like a blogger who blew up one day

because you're just soso pretty😻

alright anyways, your channel is focused around learning to cook

it's so chaotic sometimes

bcz you don't know shit about cooking

sorry if you do, let's pretend you don't >.<!!

you have almost killed yourself a dozen times

at some point people are like

‘??? how is she alive’

all thanks to your almost professional chef boyfriend

but no one has to know that ;)

anyways on like a milestone or something, you decide to cook blindfolded

bae you can barely cook with eyes open

your followers are concerned bro

like their blood pressure is rising by the minute

and like a holy light in the midst of the darkness

Jay stepped in, to save you from killing yourself fr this time

Your fans are seriously jumping around, squealing bcz he's just so soft and gentle to you :(((

but then they snap out and pretend to be angry

and you're like ‘meet my boyfie :3’

jk your fans love you two

like almost obsessed

also they're always sliding in Jay's dms

like I get it mans fine af but he's also taken

and also absolutely whipped for you 🤭

it's your world and we're just living in it…

Jake ☆

you are a gamer/streamer

your whole fan base is delusional

like so delusional, there are like hundreds and thousands of accounts claiming to be your bf/gf

but the iconic one ‘ynsboyfie’ is everywhere

like that acc is the most iconic thing in your lore

they are always there, no news of yours goes past them

always donating in your streams

and one day…

you forget to log in your priv acc

so your official acc has the comment

‘babe, you're so sweet ☹️🩷’

replying to ‘YNSBOYFIE’

???

oh your fans are livid

jokingly ofc

or maybe not

everyone on twt is like

‘who is this bitch???’

everyone hoping for his downfall

then you drop his pic

THE SWITCH UP IS INSANE

‘oh, oh, he's fiiine😏’

like I can't blame them, that's jake

but still they're supposed to be your fans

fucking snitches

my bae, pookum shmookum I would never

your fans love him

but also bully him calling him a lewser

hes so down bad he had a fan page for you

i dont blame him, i too would fangirl over you 😼

Sunghoon ☆

you're like a fitness channel

like those ones that have insane challenges

and your famous in people who have no interest in working out too

your face reveal went so viral, almost every single person knew your face

also your workouts (even tho deadly) always work so fast

people are in love with your figure and just you in general

you also upload mini vlogs once in a while

in these vlogs people noticed someone always being around you and in the back of the frame

at first they were like

‘obsessed fan😨’

but then they saw you laughing along with him in another clip

from the small clips, people couldn't see his face (bcz it's blurred) but omg the figure

the biceps, the buff and tall guy immediately steals everyone hearts

it's obvious from the clips that you're close with him

so naturally you are asked who he is and you just laugh

???

people are losing their minds woman

and you're just like ‘hehe’

they continue seeing him in your vlogs and in one clip you could see him putting his hands on your waist while you squat

you have no reaction to that

but twt…

he's getting dragged even though half of the people have no clue what's going on

you decide to take matter in your hands

and post this

with the caption ‘he's my boyfriend everyone :3’

the internet breaks

Sunghoon doesn't do his face reveal for a long time js bcz he doesn't feel like it yk

but when he does

good lord…

your fans love him

they also love how he glares at people who look at you the wrong way

you never notice that for some reason

[lomlompurim]

What if instead of waking up in the mushroom body, sqq woke up in a doll.

Something something while lbh was away in the abyss, sqq without noticing offended a misterious (demonic-succubi-esque???) cultivator with a weird thing for making dolls. She had dolls all over her secret workshop that she very kindly let him into when she heard about the famous Xiu Ya sword being in the city.

What she wanted of him? Who knows, sqq couldn't bring himself to care. She probably wanted his money or try to steal his hair, the hair of those dolls seemed very much like real hair, although he had to admit the level of details on these dolls were amazing.

(she wanted to trick him into buying one of her cursed dolls and steal his life energy little by little, but got wifebeamed by widow sqq during their conversation about how talented she was to be able to make so many dolls, and without really understanding he rejected her with little to no emotion on his face)

So she cursed him, and since sqq didn't feel anything bad at the moment he thought it just didn't work and left, not sparing the curse a single thought after their encounter.

The rest of the story goes as usual, excep that after he self detonates his soul doesn't go into the mushroom body, instead it got directly into the shape of a doll in the workshop of this woman.

His first thought is thinking someone snitched the mushroom body bc wtf wasn't he supposed to wake up under the dirt??? Why this place smells slightly familiar? Like paint and humidity and floral perfumes?? and why everything looks fucking giganourmus?!?! A teapot should NOT look that big from his position....Oh no, did the mushroom body turned out as small as a squirrel? WhAT is happening?!

And then he looks at his arms and legs, and he has joints. White paper skin with joints in his wrists, elbows, torso, waist, knees, feet. And he panics, a lot.

The woman who cursed him starts monologuing about how she trapped him now, and you are mine, I made this doll specially for you master shen, this is my revenge for your insolence to leave me yada yada- Sqq stoped listening a while ago.

Somehow he manages to escape from this woman and now he is roaming around as the size of some apples. Everything is huge. Everything is dangerous, even the grasshopers! And this body is fragile! He can't feel heat nor cold, neither hunger or other things, but he is useless with no spiritual veins inside, and if someone is not looking carefully, they might crush him. And the way back to cq is gonna be a hell of a trip! But he needs airplane to fix this. He can't stay as a doll forever! He needs a mushroom body and then fly into the sunset far from this mess! Adiós! Goodbye! So his new plan is to infiltrate into cang qiong, look for that rat and disappear. Sneaking into some disciple's pouch must be enough to break in.

Something something it only had passed a few months since lbh stole sqq's body and everything is still very fresh. CQ mountain is a hot mess. Sqh frankly needs to lay down and take a nap. Lqg keeps figthing with Lbh practially every day and coming back beaten bloody, he has his king pestering him and a lot of paperwork to do, Lbh is a pain in the ass, Yqy is really close to snap and start a war with HHP, and he knows nothing about his bro. So yeah. Such a great time to be alive.

The mushroom bodies should had been ready, right? He must be alright...Yeah. He has enough already to keep him busy. Cucumber bro is gonna come out and stumble across at any moment. No one would bat an eye if he takes a nap, right? He deserves it. He is overworked enough for another lifetime, his head hurts, his bones hurt everywhere, a short nap should be fine...

Until he feels something small tugging his robes and a cold tiny finger poking his eyelids. But he doesn't want to. He is very comfortable on the floor of his office. Whatever bird decided to pick a fight with his face can keep trying.

"AIRPLANE, WAKE UP, YOU HACK! I NEED YOU TO FIX THIS! WHY IS A WITCH WITH ANACHRONISTIC HAUNTED DOLLS IN THIS NOVEL? THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

That voice. That fucking annoying voice was of just one person and one person only. He opened his eyes, looking for the source of the unmistakable voice of his No1 hater, but he came across with a pretty porcelain doll. With a very ugly sneer in it's face.

"W-Wha-?...Bro-?!"

"Fucking finally! Why are you sleeping on the floor in your ofice?! I was looking around your bedroom like an idiot! Do you know how close I was to falling from your window?!"

-TBC-

[wonyscafe]

astro appreciation

⋆ ˚｡ ୨୧

☆ my undying love for virgo moons is so intense, you guys are such good listeners and have the perfect advice... you're also so freaking talented!!

★ I once dated a 0 degree aries venus and yes it was short but I have never felt more loved than those 2 months

☆ you gemini placements especially gemini suns always know how to make people connect w each other without even trying too hard, it just happens

★ I'd like to make a quick moment to appreciate all the aquarius moons out there, I've noticed how you can make anyone laugh even during the hardest times

☆ also omg leo risings!! you hype people up and I love u for it!!

★ to all the 12H people out there: your questions are not weird or strange. they're interesting and original. don't let others stop you from asking intriguing questions

☆ also aquarius suns have so much rizz and y'all don't even notice it

★ I will never get tired of listening to a fire/9H mercury. you speak with so much passion about certain topics

☆ all the people I know who have libra sun/moon are so trustworthy during fights. like they will not break your trust, and if they are, they'll 100% receive their karma for it. and they know this. and they're smart so chances are very high that they'll be trustworthy

★ IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS BUT GOSSIPING W GEMINI VENUS IS SO FUN BRO WHAT

☆ if you ever see someone w pisces placements, don't look into their eyes. you'll literally get lost in them.

★ every single taurus I know is so cozy, like they will legit treat you like a royal if you set foot into their house I'm so serious

☆ the people who have the best rational advice in my opinion, are capricorn mercuries. they come off as an authority figure but I really like that energy. they're just really wise idrk how to explain it...

★ if you have scorpio placements you deal with jealousy SO MUCH bc you're literally so attractive. like the energy you radiate intimidates others in a way that they get jealous of you

☆ I'm telling you sags are the best travel buddies EVERRR me and my sag friends go to different countries or cities everytime we hangout and it's so much fun like???

★ ok but cancer moons. like that's it that's everything THEYRE everything.

☆ something ab 10H placements and being the literal human embodiment of the devil wears prada

★ ok biased but virgo placements >>> something ab them is just so hot like

↳ a/n : I'm definitely not done yet bc MAN I LOVE SO MANY PLACEMENTS!!! but now your girl has to study for her ecology, biology and chemistry exams </3 wish me luck y'all I'm ALMOST DONE!!! have a wonderful day or night 𖹭

[ssparksflyy]

Hi, I just saw that request are open so can you do a boyfriend headcanon with Jason Grace please?

ask and thou shall recieve ༉‧₊˚.

jason grace dating hcs! ✮⋆˙ pairing : jason grace x gn!reader warning(s) : none ♡ an : tysm for ur request <3! hope u enjoy thisss! also why the heck did it take me 20 mins to make that little pic collab bcs nothing was matching so i js went 'screw it' anyway, enjoy!

jason grace how i love you my sweet golden retriever boyfriend

im not even lying though

ive got a golden and she's very affectionate and he'd literally be the same

absolutely loves being around you 24/7, 365

ive seen some people say jason is like kinda tense, like he was raised to be a fighter, his guard is always up, and like he builds just a few walls to keep himself safe

but nahh best believe those walls are comin right down for you

he's only himself when he's with you !!

he literally feels so comfortable and trusts you with his life

definitely tells you EVERYTHING

not gonna lie i think jason is chismoso asf

( gossiper , nosy )

BUT LIKE secretively

like people think he doesnt care or isnt listening so they just gossip all care free when he's around cause they think he wont tell anybody

but in reality he's super invested

so like after a long day when your cuddled up in the zeus cabin he's not only telling you about his day but also updating you on the drama he's found out about

NOW I KNOW that may seem ooc, but im telling you, the walls are coming DOWN

jason literally adores it when you play with his hair

like it really just calms him down, especially after a rough day

bro just melts 🫠

i think jason is like in between with pda

yes of course he loves holding your hand and hugging you

but theres definitely a difference from when youre around people and when youre alone

dont know if that came out wrong

but he just feels more comfortable when its just you two

speaking of hand holding

he's literally a hand holding king

its literally just a habit at this point

i feel like he's a hands interlocked kinda guy

like hes just walks up to you, gives you a big ol smile ofc, and plop, slips his fingers in between yours. just like that. super casual about it.

OH MY GOD IF YOU WEAR GLASSES

he literally intentionally makes you bump glasses when youre kissing

dont know if that made sense i dont wear glasses

but he thinks its the funniest thing ever and laughs every time

lemme tell you somethin

literally even before you started dating

you haven't opened a single door while jason's around

even if youre like about to reach the door and he's a few feet away he'll literally sprint captain-america-on-your-left style to open the door for you

and then stands there looking stupid after you give him a kiss on his cheek

never fails to be left absolutely dumbfounded after you kiss him

which is probably why he isnt the biggest on pda

he knows he'll never be allowed to forget how stupid he looks

HE LOVES SLEEPOVERS

winkity wonkty

but actually he makes them so much fun

starts a pillow fight but loses

A SUCKER for karaoke

nah cause why do i think he'd be like "omg lets play spin the bottle" and youre just like "jason.. it's only me and you" and hes all like "your point??"

always ends his night with cuddles

youre literally his personal teddy bear sorry not sorry

not gonna lie i don't think jason's a jewelry fella

but get this

matching converse

they dont even have to be converse they can literally be any shoes

i just like converse

you guys got them custom made and everything ouuuu

even though he doesn't seem like he'd be too big on jewelry i feel like he has a silver necklace with your initials on it

i want to wear his initial on his chain round my neck not because he owns me but cause he really knows me

he's always wearing it, whether its like under his shirt (CLOSER TO HIS HEARTTTT) or over it and shining proudly

definitely has a playlist just titled '(name)' with a heart and its just a bunch of love songs that remind him of you ♡

he's literally so in love and makes sure you know that multiple times a day

where can i get me a jason grace :(

[hopeluna-archived]

totally not like a personal experience or anything but is it ok if i request the obey me bros + dateables (whether or not you wanna add luke is up to you bc this is a sfw request so the little chihuahua baby can be in it) with an mc who always had to fight just to have someone just pay attention to them? i mean like having to repeat their words, call out the name of the person theyre talking to, constantly ask if theyre still paying attention to what theyre saying, etc. (bonus points if they also feel like no one even really likes what they do have to say once they get someones attention)

!! MC who always had to fight just to have someone pay attention to them | obey me

A/N: totally not writing this out of personal experience or anything hahahaha

Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Diavolo

CW: hurt/comfort, mostly comfort tho, mentions of neglect and feelings of not being "enough", lemme know if there is anything else!

m.list

Lucifer

Lucifer is quite perceptive and notices this. He has never had an issue with this himself because when he talks, he commands the room, willing everybody to listen. And he'll do the same with you, even if you might not notice it. Any person daring to speak over you gets shut down pretty quickly by Lucifer's stare.

Mammon

Mammon understands this. He's had to deal with fighting for making his voice heard pretty much all the time. When he notices you do the same, he's hurt. How can someone not listen to your words?? No matter what he's doing, he always makes sure to give his full attention to you when you're talking and how can he not? Your voice sounds too heavenly to ignore <3

Leviathan

Levi doesn't catch on to this at first till someone, probably Satan, points it out one day. He feels pathetic that you feel this way because he, himself has felt this way too many times to count. He always got upset about how people would tune out his ramblings. He feels worse when he realizes you have never done it yet you face that too with other people.

Satan

Satan's pissed. More than usual. How dare people ignore you when he looks at you like you hung the stars everytime you're talking? Satan notices this very early on and is already thinking of ways to torture every single person who decided to makes you feel any less. He will literally stare into their soul when you are talking as a way of warning them.

Diavolo

Diavolo's heart breaks whenever he sees the crestfallen look on your face at someone ignoring you. He might be a goof but he still notices these little things and is quite upset and confused at how someone could ever not hang on to every words you utter. He thought it was absolutely normal to look at you in adoration every time you talk?

© hopeluna. Do not copy, translate, modify or repost any of my work in this or any other site. Do not steal or modify my ideas/concepts either.

[pauleentology]

Ben Clark's trauma🩷

His mischaracterization is literally crazy bro especially on those Wattpad fanfictions I cannot bring myself to finish any of them because they all portray ben as the big quiet dude😖 he is so much more than that oms

Trauma analysis

in my honest opinion, Ben had the worst backstory ever of all of them like it was literally so brutal and for WHATTTTTT (jk red knows how much i like traumatized teenagers)

Imagine being judged by your appearance and not being able to make much friends because of being too "intimidating" just because of your size, and being judged for how you express yourself because it isn't what others expected of you to do, then ultimately being bullied for it just because your appearance didn't match your personality.

Imagine being feared by everyone and persistently being offered by bully-groups and punks to join them because all they see in you is a weapon and not a human being all because your size isn't that of your age?? Finally building up the courage to show everybody that you're more than just the dangerous giant they see you as and actually perform, but they choose not to listen to your voice and focus on why somebody of your size is singing instead of fighting and slacking because they're just that shallow.

Then at 12 years old having that one thing you love most taken from you because you refused to become something you're not, losing your way of expression, spiraling into depression not long after.

The moment he wakes up in the hospital, trying to speak or say anything but all that comes out is broken words and strained breaths. How disgusted he must've been after hearing his shattered voice for the first time— that his greatest treasure just slipped away from him like that, and the thought that he would never be able to sing again slowly settling in.

Being so blinded by rage and having that much anger inside of you that you just give up on controlling it and let it all out in forms of street fighting and brawling, becoming so numb and addicted to the sensation that you can't bring yourself to stop no matter how much you want to.

Coming home from school to see his house set in flames from spite of a fight HE started. Seeing his parents and little sister grieving over the loss of their home— all because of him and his rage.

The realization creeping in that you've become the one thing that you swore to never be. That all the pain and beatings you endured, all in vain because you gave in anyway. You gave in on your own volition. The hate he must've felt towards himself because he was the cause of their pain. Seeing himself as a monster. Realizing how much people he'd hurt because of his lack of self-control and rage.

The day his parents broke to him the news that he'd be staying at his cousin's house for the time being, thinking that they didn't want him around anymore. Him thinking that he was so dangerous his own parents had to ship him off someplace else. He'd hurt everyone around him, and it took so much for him to realize it. He'd look at himself in the mirror— and instead of seeing the innocent little boy what he saw instead was a rage-filled monster everyone feared but this time for good reason. How he'd lost himself completely, and there's nothing he can do to undo everything that happened.

How scared he must've felt that he might hurt Aiden's family too like he hurt everybody around him, and how much he hated himself for not being able to control it.

Finding comfort and belonging with Aiden again for the first time in forever— a newfound peace and purpose after picking up multiple hobbies and a new kind of happiness after meeting the SBG group. Buttttt at the cost of having to brush with death every single night and watch two of his friends die— imagine how he felt when they were talking about how they could be becoming phantoms, how it would all happen again. The feeling of becoming the one thing you sought to destroy and having no control over it was all too familiar to him. The fear he must've felt realizing that everything from his past would repeat itself this way, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Nobody ever talks about his reaction during Aiden's death. Watching his cousin and bestfriend get crushed by a ceiling right in front of him and not being able to do anything since he was still covering Tyler. The cousin that took you into their home, understood you, stayed with you, and saw you as a normal human being rather than a dangerous giant. The person that was able to finally make you feel what it felt to belong for the first time in your life— and watching that person die infront of you. And he just had to stay there— he couldn't do anything to save him. After all, he never could.

The constant reminder that he had no control over anything in his life.

[anoant-haikyuu-dump]

More Nekoma HCs

• Teshiro’s really good at those pen spinning tricks, the other first-years pop off when he does it. He also has the best handwriting of the first-years and they borrow his notes before big tests. Lev's handwriting is borderline illegible— he claims its cause he's Russian but everyone calls him out on his bullshit ("Dude, your first language is Japanese??")

• Fukunaga carries around a slide whistle, when he's not on court he plays it every time someone dives for the ball

• Shibayama's the kinda guy to send buzzfeed quizes in the team groupchat and make everyone take them ("Dont you guys wanna know what cat breed you are?"). Most of the team groan but secretly find it endearing. Kuroo unabashadly loves it and commends Shibayama's team spirit

• None of the second-years are good students— Kenma spends class playing mobile games under his desk or napping, Tora doesn't listen but even if he did he wouldn't process anything, and Fukunaga's in his own little world 90% of the time. Kenma skates by with general smarts but Tora and Fukunaga are in the TRENCHES. Kuroo and Kai help tutor them when needed

• The whole team LOVES Akane, that's their cheer captain!! She gets along best with Fukunaga and Kenma because they're closest to Tora but I think she'd also vibe a lot with Yaku cause they have a similar sassy energy (and height but shh). All of them treat her like an absolute queen, mess with her and you got 10 guys knocking at your door

• Tora picks people up a lot, he just grabs them and throws them over his shoulders. The most common victims are the second years but also Shibayama since he's "bite-sized" as Tora so eloquently puts it. He tried it with Yaku a single time which did NOT go well, he hasn't again since

• When Hinata's in town to hang out with Kenma Inkuoka and Lev WILL find a way to crash it no matter what. The just happened to show up at the same arcade, what a conincidence!! Kenma gives them the death glare but unfortunately for him Hinata is more than happy to let them tag along

• Kai is generally really chill but when he yells he's louder than even Tora. The team finds this out at training camp when they're settling in for the night and the first years decide its a great time to have a pillow fight. One flies directly into a sleeping Kai's face. The other teams can hear the reprimanding through the walls (bro doesn't fuck around with his beauty rest)

• Sometimes they do video game nights at Kuroo's but Kenma is either straight-up banned or given severe handicaps. The one time he loses is during MarioKart when Kuroo starts waving his hands in front of his face and Kenma stops playing to wresting him away (he still manages to beat Tora somehow)

• Kuroo and Yaku argue all the time but if anyone else talks shit about them they hop to the other's defense immediately. You do not get away with making fun of Yaku's height unless you're Kuroo himself.

• Kuroo's the biggest fan of Fukunaga's jokes, as a fellow pun enthusiast he appreciates him keeping the court light-hearted. He laughs way too hard even when they're not that funny and sometimes fires a quip or two back. Also Kuroo's definetly the type to literally slap his knee when laughing

• (Ignore the awful picture quality) There's this scene from the Tokyo Battles stage play where Shibayama dances along with Akane and Alisa from the stands and it's the cutest thing ever i'm obsessed. Anyways I think he's the king of the bench cheerleaders, he teaches Teshiro and Inuoka all the little dances and chants

alright thats it for now, long live Nekoma

[foolish-rat]

Commentary on RTTE S1 Ep 13 Total Nightmare

This is one of my favorite episodes in the show and I don’t see enough people talking about it.

Ruff: And so the drama begins...

Tuff: One man, one dragon, one leg, vs one rapidly closing dome.

Guys, I love the twins so much. They have a new hyperfixation every other day and it’s amazing. Also, Tuff, you ain’t gotta do my boy Hiccup like that 😭

Tuff: 'Twas once a drill, then it became a game, now it is theater!

Ruff: Let the drama unfold!

Ruff’s little pose here. I love her so so so much

Tuff: I'll wager he loses an eye.

Ruff: Haha! On the contrary, i predict act one, scene one will conclude with the loss of a gallbladder.

Tuff: Or perhaps a leg, what say you, young Hiccup?

Again with the leg jokes. Me personally, I wouldn’t take that level of disrespect.

The whole scene with Snotlout racing is just him getting hit with branches. How is my man not concussed, bro got a skull made of gronckle iron 💀 Also, he 100% could’ve made that if he didn’t spend 5 seconds shouting at Hookfang

Hookfang refusing the fish and then throwing not only the fish but Snotlout as well 😭

Snotlout: Ow, hey, everybody saw that right?

Tuff: Yes we did, my friend and it was delightful.

Tuff… 😭

Snotlout: No I mean Hookfang, he's acting weird.

Fishlegs: How's that?

Snotlout: Well, he didn't listen to me during the race, he ran away, he just spit fish in my face, and threw me against the wall!

The wall in question:

Also Fishlegs, why are you smiling

Hookfang slamming his head against the roof multiple times, I’m not entirely sure what the plan was there. Like, I feel like that was probably the least productive thing he could’ve done.

Snotlout’s face here. This is probably how the other riders see him

Hookfang was put in time out. Free my man, he ain’t do nothing wrong 🗣️

Snotlout: Hey! Hookfang, you feeling better? Who wants tuna for breakfast?

That is NOT a tuna, also why is it so big???

Snotlout: Great. I accept your offer to help in the search. Come on, Toothless. Up, bud! Fly, bud! Do something, bud!

Hiccup really does call Toothless bud a lot. It means a lot to me that the other riders notice this as well.

Toothless is so done with Snotlout

Snotlout: This place again? This is where I found him last time.

Why wasn’t that the first place he checked???

Astrid: Look! There is another Monstrous Nightmare!

Hiccup: That's not just another Monstrous Nightmare. That's a female Monstrous Nightmare.

You can tell because she is pink and pink is a girl color

Snotlout: A female Monstrous Nightmare? Now it all makes sense. My dragon has a way with the ladies! Must have picked up a few pointers from his master.

Astrid: I doubt it. She's not dry heaving.

L rizz from Snotlout

Snotlout try not to get injured challenge: impossible

Fishlegs: it means that meeting this female has reawakened his primal instincts. And he’s returning to the wild.

Fishlegs successfully predicting the third movie.

Fishlegs: It's nature, Snotlout. You can't fight it.

Snotlout: Watch me.

Ate that line up

Hiccup: It's a scary idea, huh? That one of our dragons might just one day go back to the wild? You'd never do that to me, would you bud? I didn't think so.

Uh…

Snotlout: Primal instincts, Thor's butt! My primal instinct is to get my dragon back.

Another banger line

Snotlout: Hi, Girl Hookfang! I see, you already got my boy bringing dinner for you. Big step.

He’s jealous

He got hit in the face with an eel. Real talk, I wanna know how this man is still alive. This is gonna be a long rant analyzing the effect of an injury in a kids tv show, skip ahead if you don’t want to read this part.

There are 3 different things that determine the severity of the shock and the resulting injury; the amount of voltage, the duration of the shock, and path of the shock through the body. Unfortunately, Snotlout did not have a single thing going well for him and managed to have the worst luck in all 3 areas. Electricity is extremely dangerous. 120 volts going through the human body for only 2 seconds is enough to cause death. Electric eels can produce charges on average from 450-600 volts of electricity. Some have been recorded to produce up to 860 volts. For comparison, outlets only use 120 volts. The duration of the shock effects how severe the injury is. Unsurprisingly, the longer the shock, the greater the injury. Snotlout was electrocuted for about 3-5 seconds which is a pretty long time, especially since a single shock from an eel is enough to cause significant pain or immobilize their prey. An important thing to note is that the eel is on land. Without water to disperse some of the shock, it would be stronger and more direct. He was hit in the face, and the eel landed on his chest, where it continuously shocked him for 3-5 seconds. Currents through the heart or nervous system are most dangerous. A shock to the head will cause your nervous system to be damaged. A shock to the chest is incredibly dangerous as it gives direct access to the body’s most vital organs. He managed to get shocked in the two worst places to get shocked.

Long story short, I have no idea how this mf is alive.

Snotlout: I have had enough of you, Hookfang! It's time to choose, her or me.

Genuinely sobbing

Tuff: Classic romantic comedy paradigm. Boy gets dragon, boy loses dragon, dragon falls asleep, boy eats, boy falls asleep, dragon eats.

What is he going on about???

Snotlout: I give up. If being with her makes Hookfang happy, I guess I should be happy for him, too. Ugh. If you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go lay down for a few... weeks.

🥺

Hiccup: We've gotta get him back in the saddle right away.

Hiccup, not everyone solves their problems by working

Snotlout: Too small, too slow, two heads.

This is genuinely one of my favorite jokes in the entire series.

Hiccup: What are you saying?

Snotlout: I'm saying that if I can't fly Hookfang, I don't want to fly any dragon.

Astrid: How can you be a dragon rider and not ride a dragon?

Snotlout: You were always the smart one, Astrid.

🥺

Snotlout: Quitting, that's right. ✨I shall be a dragon rider no more✨

Why did he say it like that-

Tuff: Time to call in the understudy.

Ruff: Hey Fishlegs, how's your Snotlout?

immediately looking for a replacement 💀

Hiccup: Oh, come on Snotlout, you're just hurting now, that's all. Give it some time.

Snotlout: No, Hiccup, my mind is made up. I'm going to say goodbye to Hookfang, and then sail back to Berk for good. It's over.

genuinely heartbreaking

Astrid: You wanna tell us what's going on here?

Fishlegs: It looks like two male dragons fighting over a female.

Ruff: Yeah, I've heard male Vikings do it too, but I've personally never seen it.

Give it a few years, Ruff

Hiccup: Get him, Snotlout! You guys can do this.

Astrid: Hey, be careful. He's pretty nasty.

Snotlout: Whatever happens to us, promise me you'll protect those eggs.

Hiccup: We will.

🥺

Astrid: He's crazy.

Hiccup: He's Snotlout.

Astrid: True.

Couldn’t have put it better myself

The evil smirk. Bro got a diabolical scheme

Snotlout: And to think I saved them. Okay, okay! We saved them. We saved them. Snotlout, Hookfang! Oi! Oi! Oi!

Love that he’s chanting both of their names.

Hiccup: Uh, what's wrong with you two?

Ruff: Nothing.

Tuff: You just don't see enough happy endings these days. Snotlout! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi!

The twins are so dramatic, I love them so much

Okay that’s it 💕

[juliasturnz]

“Your looking at me like I’m see through.”

🜸 - this fanfic is based of this song! I hope y’all like it! (I got it suggested♥️)

★ - summary:

Matt has been acting so weird lately you are trying to find out, but you find something you don’t wanna know. You leave right away from this terrible place.

༆- warnings!

Angst, cussing, mad!Matt, pushing (nothing more!), use of alcohol, a lot of crying and smoking

✫彡 - writers note:

there will be lyrics while reading, so if that annoys you I’m sorry, This fanfic might be not for you.

★ - other role!!

In this fanfic there is a best friend called Haley (when she talks her color is purple) - little backstory about Haley!

You have been friends with Hayley like since forever. Y’all got into pretty many fights but you two are still the same after, she always tells you that’s she’s here for you and that isn’t gonna change no matter what.

- I know you don’t care but can you listen? -

You have been in a fight with Matt that seems to happen more then 1 time a week. But every time y’all fought he didn’t listen at all of even look at you. ‘Matt can you fucking listen to me?’ He doesn’t even look up from his phone. To busy texting. When you call his name again all he does is rolls his eyes and you can hear the typing again, it makes you sick.

‘Matt!’ He looks up with a furious look. ‘Can’t you see I’m busy?’ ‘Can’t you fucking hear that I’m talking to you?’ And yet again he ignores you and goes on further with his fingers tapping rapidly across the screen. You walk up to him and grab his phone. He starts to freak out, ‘Y/N WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?’ He fully yells at you with his eyes widened. ‘So your texting another girl aren’t you?’ ‘Ugh fuck it, I don’t give a single shit about you.’ His words just randomly fall out of his mouth. ‘What did you say?’ Tears start to swell up in your eyes, have you really been that stupid, how didn’t you notice?

- so i think I better go, I just never know how to please you, your looking at me like I’m see through -

‘Im going to pack my bags I’m going to leave, I don’t deserve this.’ He walks back to the couch and quickly drinks the beer that was standing on the coffee table next to your glass with soda that is still fully filled. ‘Right.’ He just says while you watched him drinking his beer. You start waking down to the bedroom where you get all of your stuff and leave the vanity that he build with all love what makes you sick to look at. You plop on the bed and put your hand before your face and the tears start to fall down from your eyes what makes your hands soaked.

* about a hour passes *

‘What the fuck is taking you so long, get out of here bro.’ Matt is standing in the doorway and looking at you with a drunk look, wait have you been in here that long?

- Not thinkin' you would have left me gladly -

You are still surprised you get to see this side of Matt that you’ve never experienced, and now it’s happening all at once. You didn’t even pack your bags yet, you’ve just been sitting there crying. ‘You haven’t even packed your bags hurry the fuck up!’ His voice gets a little lower but even louder, you quickly stand up and get your stuff while Matt leaves the room.

When you finally get to the point where you have at least 3 bags full of clothes, makeup and more. you reach the hall way into the living room. You look at the couch where your ex-boyfriend is now fully drunk laying down. He turns his head from the movie he’s watching and immediately begins to start arguing with you. ‘So when are you going to fucking leave?’ ‘I’ll leave when I feel like it.’ He stands up from the couch and walks up to you while tripping over random stuff, ugh he’s so drunk. You roll your eyes and you put down your full and heavy bags down. He’s standing right in front of you. His eyes are not even fully open, and he can’t look at you straight. He pushes you, you fall back just a little, he doesn’t even have that much power to push you. ‘Get out!’ He’s fully yelling at you. You don’t look at him but look outside. Why does it have to be raining right now, this feels like a straight up movie scene. You turn your face to his drunk expression again. ‘Fuck you Matt! I fucking loved you, I really did.’ But in stead of lower his voice he starts laughing at you, ‘did you actually think I liked you?’ He just keeps on laughing, your legs are frozen. Your tears just keep on flowing from your eyes to your cheeks and your neck. ‘Yeah keep on crying that’s all you do, now don’t make me say it again.’ ‘But I-I’ ‘LEAVE. MY. FUCKING. HOUSE.’ you pick up your heavy bags and leave the apartment right away. While you leave his apartment, you call up the one and only real person in this fucked up world.

You tap on your best friend’s name and call her right away. ‘Hey girll I’- ‘can you just pick me up please.’ You are still sobbing from the things that happened this quick. ‘Oh my god my baby ofcourse, I’ll be on my way, Matt’s apartment right?’ ‘Mhm.’ She hangs up the phone and you stand outside already soaking wet from the rain that’s falling quick out of the starry sky.

When Haley reaches his apartment she quickly comes out of the car. ‘Oh my baby what happened.’ You were finally done crying and once again you start sobbing. ‘You can tell me everything just come in the car I brought some dry clothes.’ She has such a kind soul, I don’t deserve her.

You are now changed in her warm clothes trying to explain everything. ‘I’m going to fucking murder that guy.’ She already wants to step out the car when you stop her. ‘He’s drunk asf he doesn’t give a shit about what your gonna say. Can we please just go to your house.’ ‘Ofcourse we can.’ She gives you a warm smile and starts the car. The whole ride to her house it has been quiet in the car, only a little bit crying from you and her hand rubbing your back. When y’all are finally there she opens her door walks over to you and opens your door and helps you get out of the big car. ‘I’ll take your bags, wait for me at the front door okay?’ ‘Mhm’ you talk to the big front door and keep waiting there while just looking into your phone for a little bit. And end up texting nick and Chris about the situation. Haley comes to you with your big 3 bags. ‘Do you need some help?’ You giggle the slightest bit seeing her struggle with the big bags. ‘I do actually.’ She starts giggling with you.

You enter her big house that you remember easily. You turn around and look at her face with again that comforting smile on her face. ‘I’m so glad you could pick me up.’ ‘Always here like I promised.’ She walks up at you with a smile and hugs you, she slightly pets you on the head. ‘You’ll be okay ml.’ She is everything you could wish for.

After the most comforting hug you’ve ever had you help her with your bags and bringing them upstairs. When you let the bags fall on her bedroom floor. You walk over to her bed a fall down on it. Your now looking at her filled ceiling, but your not thinking about the filled ceiling your thinking about Matt and what the last thing he said was. You roll over, and start sobbing again. Haley comes into the room with the last 2 bags and quickly drops them on the floor, ‘hey hey! Come here.’ She sits down on the bed and picks you up to give you another hug. ‘Do you wanna smoke? It helps you forget your thoughts for a while.’ She says, you’ve never smoked before but you’re gonna do anything to forget him for a while. ‘I really do but I’ve never done it.’ ‘I’ll learn you.’

About 10 minutes later you’ve learned how to smoke and it really does helps to forget Matt. ‘I love this so much it’s really relaxing.’ You look at Hayley with a smile and she just simply smiles back, ‘Ofcourse anything for you.’

Suddenly you hear your phone buzz, your heart drops. ‘It’s Matt’ you say out loud, you haven’t blocked him yet. You just couldn’t, ‘come again?’ Hayley looks at you with a shocked face, ‘your not serious right?’ You can’t do anything, your just stuck in a sitting position with still a cigarette in your hand. ‘He’s saying sorry.’ You click on the notification and you type “it’s okay” even though you know it’s happy hour, (he always had one hour when he was drunk when he suddenly started to act affectionate) but someone is also looking at your phone. ‘Yeah no we’re not doing this he’s obviously not, give me your phone.’ You are still so in shock and still so in love, he has done everything for you. He was the one. ‘We are definitely gonna ignore this message till tomorrow, let’s see if he deletes it. That’s when we know when it’s real.’ ‘Okay.’ You look down at your legs, I think he really means it tho. ‘Hey it’s for the better okay?’ ‘Should we watch a movie?’ ‘Yes.’ Your face lightened up a little bit even though all you could think about is the “im sorry” text. ‘You can choose.’ You pick one of her favorites.

During the movie she suddenly asks, ‘not to rude or anything or bring it up like this but why did you choose him.’ She asks you with a curious but also with furrowed eyebrows. ‘I just kinda knew, he was always there for me. But he suddenly changed idk what happened.’ ‘I’m so sorry for asking about it.’ ‘No it’s okay.’ Your eyes are watering and she hugs you tight once again. Your still crying ‘I just want a good explanation idk I just still love him so much…’ ‘a-and im afraid I won’t let go.’ ‘I’ll help you through it all ml’ she’s a little taller then you so she looks down at you with a little smile.

Its finally the morning and you wake up with Haley smiling at you with a little breakfast table with all your favorite food on it. ‘Oh my god Hayley you’re the best!’ You just opened your eyes so your voice is raspy asf. A wide smile appears on your face. ‘Ofcourse my lady anything for you.’ She does a little bow what makes you giggle, ‘no but fr thank you.’ ‘Anytime. Alright I let you eat your breakfast and do your thing, I’m going to the store rq do you want me to bring you something?’ ‘No I’m good thank you.’ You both give each other another smile and she walks out of the door.

About three minutes later you hear the front door close with a bang. You immediately look at your phone, is this even a good idea? Yes I need fucking answers. You open your phone and the “I’m sorry” message is gone.

- I know your not sorry, why should you be? Cus who am I to be in love, when your love never is for me … me -

★ another little note:

I appreciate you so much for supporting me! Make sure to like this post if you want to see more from me🤭 comment if you wanna be tagged in the taglist🏷️

tags

@042502 @pepsiboyy @pepsiluvr0209 @sturnioloshacker @sturniolonmc @sturniolo-fann @sturnioz @sturniololvrrr @sturnzsblog @sturnzwrld @sturnzyolo @sturnzluv @sturnzsun @sturniololoverr @chrisslut333 @chris-slut @chrissv4mp @chrisshotdog @chrissfawn @mattsfavbitchhh @mattsturnswife @mattsgf @matts-k1tten @hollandsangel @hoeformatt @hoesformatt @heartmatt @strawberrysturniolo

[28ms28]

MY Rating of F1 drivers based on their personality(more sway) and their track presence and racing

1. Charles Leclerc

(Track Menace who is also Pookie Bear) (unintentionally funny) (just an inchident) (canonically listens to sad songs after bad races) (piano man was at some point higher in the iTunes chart than at the actual championship standings) (clueless cringefail loser) (Ice-cream man) (14 year old Max Verstappen's nightmare) (best qualifier on the grid imo) (idk something about someone who is on course for achieving greatness and will not stop until he achieves it no matter the cost, something about so much sacrifices for something he got soo close to achieving something that did not work out in the end something about how he devotes himself to Ferrari like no one else could before him something about how fate chose him to be in that seat something about how he made it look easy something about how it looked like the way was paved for him something red red red idk something about web weaving) (dogdad) (we love Leo) (went to Lewis Hamilton school of naming his dog after his rival) (oh and dreams about community services with said rival) (very strong mental health and even bigger therapy bills) (did i mention he's il predestinato of the tifosi) (biggest Ferrari fan) (only one who knows how to race max verstappen) (he was an ankle biting child see any photos of his childhood as proof) (everybody is maxplaining victim he's a maxplaining enjoyer) (suffers from middle child syndrome) (Seb's Ferrari child) (committed parricide on Sebastian Vettel in 2019 and 2020)

2. Max Verstappen

(pookiest pookie to ever pookie, track lion, big brother, catdad, certified victim ,about to be 4 time world champ, deserves so much more love, so so so incredibly talented, he's just a shy boy your honour ,free my man he did all of it but yeah vibes, because I'm dutch, fifa legend(just online), Danny kvyat has nightmares about him, geography nerd, has zero skills in any other physical sport, is planning to become a sim racer, tu tu tu du max verstappen (fun lore about Max did you know this guy was ranked 21st in the world in ultimate fifa in 2018(or was it 2016?? Doesn't matter) like can you imagine being that insane like bro you are a f1 driver in a top team like pls ??) (community service enjoyer) (certified yapper) (is terrified of fuel stations(jos verstappen when I catch you) ) (#1 lecfosi) (cringefail loser and he knows it) (teammate destroyer) (has read every rule in the rulebook and knows how to break every rule in the rulebook legally ofc all legally) (Seb's redbull child) (on his way to break every single one of Seb's record just to spite the old man)

(And is friends with an old Austrian man somehow)

3. Oscar Piastri

(Pookie bear, Mark Webbers child that has Sebastian Vettel's evil aura (Mark you will never know peace), koala, polite cat, eldest sibling energy, Android lover, Carlos Sainz's nightmare gremlin, loves cricket(cannot play well bless his heart), #1 lestappen shipper(I respect that) is also somehow the eldest of the lestappen children(his granddads are Webbanso) ) ( Him and Fernando have plotted the downfall of alpine) (I have a feeling he hates Zak brown deep down which I agree with) (grill the grid champ(like I said aura of Seb Vettel))

4. George Russell

(British individual(derogatory), king of radio messages (oh crikey), has an evil aura which is probably why he gets along with Nando, makes amazing powerpoints(facts!!), head of the gdpa and he takes it V.E.R.Y seriously probably the admin to the f1 driver group chat, part-time driver part-time strategist, he's a better driver than people give him credit for unpopular opinion but I think he can be a wdc or least a close wdc contender if given the right car I think if he was in lando's car in 2024 he probably would have taken the fight to max idk about winning but he's for sure no easy breeze, f3 and f2 wdc too, very memefiable or wotever the word is) ( T pose)(t.a.l.l.)(one sweaty boi)

5. Carlos Sainz

(Spanish chilli, smooth operator, dog lover, says bye to his racing career after 2024( no wait let me tell you something let me finish let m- *shot*), certified zoning out( Carlos has been called to the stewards), Lewis Hamilton hater prolly, certified Fred vassuer hater, poor guy really he leaves whenever a team is getting good like come on, has had very good teammates and has been friends with them, in 2025 will become the third person in history to have raced for Ferrari, McLaren and Williams, I feel like he lacks a bit of aggressiveness in his racing like he operates smoothly and intelligently sure but yk you should have a bite yk )(whenever he finds this said bite and aggressiveness it's usually against his teammate I'm noticing you Carlos I'm noticing)( loves Lando Norris, golf master but humble about it, Maria Karey, one of the mature drivers on the grid, excellent at all sports, James aeiou has a crush on him, Lana del Ray coded, him and max were torro rosso nepo babies).

6. Lewis Hamilton

(7-time world champion, goat behaviour, was friends with P Diddy, rich cool wine aunt, #blessed, fashionista, Hammertime, Fernando Alonso's nightmare gremlin, don't ever mention 2016 in front of him, is haunted by Nico Rosberg, is neighbours with Nico Rosberg, will avoid Greece for the rest of his life, had a very public divorce, thus vegan, Silverstone 2008 you will always be famous, this Barbie is an f1 driver, still we rise guys, Toto Wolff and David Croft will sacrifice their bloodline for him, certified Micheal Massi hater, certified Bottas lover, we love him and Seb being the activists on the grid, this is getting manipulated man, did not survive Abu Dhabi 2021, did not survive Abu Dhabi 2016, has had caps thrown at him, Left family for Italian mafia, uncle I beg you please get your qualifying form back pls pls, is embarrassed by those toxic #teamlh and you cannot convince me otherwise, has let 2 baddies named Nico slip from him, ISS THAT GLOCK???, Bono my tyres are gone)

7. Lando Norris

(twitch streamer first f1 driver second, McLaren boy, hates papaya rules, has been multi21nd, mental health has been made very public by his own goddamn team, party-boy and DJ, fakes knowing how to play COD and Fortnite, very consistent racing good for him, terrified of first laps and poles, best friends with last laps and fastest laps(let's go Lando), shit at golf and geography but it's okay he makes up for it by being funny, probably misses being Carlos's teammate, but like Carlos lacks a bit of aggressiveness that is required, McLaren PR's nightmare gremlin, opposite of polite cat, has somehow managed to anger every fanbase and his car is the sole reason for the unification of RedBull, Ferrari and Mercedes, has been dealing with the wrath of Australia since 2021, at the end of the day just a curly haired guy ).

8. Fernando Alonso

(Spanish devil , Disney villain ahh character, 2005 and 2006 world champ, is looking for his 33rd win, Michael Schumacher's nightmare gremlin, grumpy old man first f1 driver second, lance lover(rare), Lawrence stroll's sugar baby, fast, prime Alonso I am scared of you, goat behaviour, holds a special grudge against McLaren and Lewis Hamilton(Alonso is sick of his ass), no more radio for the rest of the race, believes in karma, has dated Taylor swift apparently but is in love with Mark Webber( Jenson button is also somewhere in there), is known as El padre and has an el plan(everyone should be afraid), racecraft out of this world, 2005 Suzuka you will always be famous, all de time you have to leave da space, Alonso radio my love, aggressive but good racing the likes of which I have never seen and probably never will, what do mean by "I knew he'd brake earlier because he has 2 kids and a wife at home" like who says that what what??, worse career decisions than Ferrari strategies, bad luck so much bad luck, so chaotic so much chaos, has adopted Oscar and has plotted the downfall of alpine with him, Flavio haunts him, do not bring up Singapore 2008 in front of him especially not if Felipe Massa is present there, has driven the 2014 Ferrari and has not recovered from it, has outlasted Renault in formula one (wild), give Fernando Alonso 5 more points and he would be a 5 time wdc (even more wild), bye bye I'm still the bad guy)

9. Alex Albon

(alabonoo) ( bff with George Russell) ( is bullied by George Russell) (golf wag first f1 driver second) ( James aeiou has a favourite and it's Alex Albon) ( Alex really said I'm Thai first and a colonizer second and good for you Alex) (2020 Alex and 2022 onwards Alex are different people okay?) ( he's a consistent racer much like Lando but he makes mistakes more often, under pressure working is not his forte sorry pals but it had to be said) ( he's a really nice dude tho and really funny as well ) ( dude has a Chipotle member card as one of his essentials and you tell me I'm not supposed to love him come on be reasonable)(he has his own zoo he's a certified pet owner) ( if I had the money for that amount of pets I would do the same Alex I get it ) (also he's a Ferrari fan so you just know bro is always on hopium) (I think he gets put under the radar often but he's great) ( he seems to be a chill dude imo)(we both love lily)

10. Nico Hulkenberg

(German but like in a cool way) ( has been giving dad energy before he was a dad) ( called Hulk but is probably the calmest person on the grid) ( give my man Bruce Banner his podium nah it's not even funny anymore he deserves so much better than that) ( he's won le mans on his first try yk give him the Redbull seat for godsakes) (Nico is so cheeky like I know he's a gen x or something but like I see the genz potential yk) (Audi better have a car good enough for a podium I swear to god if we say bye to him before a podium I'm uhm I'm uh I'm gonna cry).

11. Yuki Tsunoda

(anime boi) (wants a restaurant before he wants a world championship and I respect that Yuki) (has an evil aura) (certified hothead because he's a certified good chef) (has the bitch spirit to be a Redbull driver but is not. because of Horner issues) (Yuki does make the occasional mistakes but like he's far better than the alt no?) (in the words of Yuki "idk man wotever") (too much anger for too small body) (is in love with Pierre Gasly) (is bullied by Pierre Gasly) (everybody loves Yuki even Nando is a fan)(tbf nandos a fan of anyone who has an evil aura) (people are terrified of Yuki radio as they rightfully should be) (Yuki is nightmare gremlin of every race engineer).

12. Pierre Gasly

(French but like from the north of France)(known for being French and Max Verstappen's teammate thus known for being fucked over by Redbull, also known for his revenge win in Monza) ( he's just a great driver like if given the right car he can fight at the top and win he's not on Max and Charles level yet but I feel like around George and better than Lando) ( he's also a good qualifier maybe it has something to do with speaking French who knows but yeah amazing what he can do in that shit alpine) (unfortunately he has a severe case of resting bitch face but he's very nice actually unless you are Esteban then he's not very nice) (yeah he also has the brocedes case of childhood best friends turned enemies but like French and he's very much Lewis in that way which means he would much rather ignore estie bestie than talk about him e.v.e.r while estie brings up his bestie Pierre wherever he can like Nico)( oh and he loves one Japanese boi)(pierreeee gasllyyyyy)

13. Kevin Magnussen

(Kmag the Viking) (my god nobody races like kmag lol) Okay so maybe I put him this high because he's a track terror to everyone but like watcha want me to do? Not acknowledging kmag's great defending is a crime, he is here to cause menace no matter how many penalty points he gains or races he's banned from he's really coming for Ocon's penalty points honour tbh. Shame really that this is his last season... just when things got interesting *sigh* (off the track he's a chill girldad) (hulk and kmag had an enemies-to-lovers story arc and I think that's beautiful)

14. Esteban Ocon

(he's French, he's from Normandy in France which is the north of France so you just know he was a bored child) (he and Pierre were bored babies) (which is probably why he races the way he does lol) (5-second penalty for Ocon) (no but seriously this guy has mad potential but also he's a mad teammate killer and not in a good way) (he has made a way for himself in formula one and he belongs here it's just that maybe if he tried targeting people other than his teammates he would make it much easier for himself) (he's a very cheerful person irl) (big Marvel fan) (gives very early teenage boy vibes) (softie at heart) (cannot for the life of him pronounce squirrel)(oh he also loves lance(rare)) (Estie bestie is on the podium babyyy)

15. Daniel Riccardo

(Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi oi oi ) (damn Daniel) (it's not tears it's athlete sweat ) (I mean I knew it was time to go but still it didn't have to be this way it's okay tho Danny is enjoying retirement and dirt bikes) (yeah the performance was just not there for Danny boi not that we could see it anyway because of vcarbs shit strategy or whatever they call it) (I miss prime Daniel he was such an annoyance to Sebastian)(2014 Daniel took the Australian revenge on Seb for his crimes against Mark Webber) (but yeah Daniel you go out of this sport with lots of love and a fastest lap)(ki ki aye)

16. Valtteri Bottas

(Finnish when he was in Mercedes but is officially Australian since then) ( Bottas more like Bott-ass get what I mean) (I mean that he has a weird obsession with his gluteus maximus) (Valtteri pls I beg you stop this behaviour) (10 time Grand Prix winner Valtteri has nightmares about James aeiou) (Valtteri it's James) (he's pretty chill all he cares about is racing, cyclist girlfriend, and his mullet+moustache(not necessarily in that order)) also here's a sad fact since Valtteri won't be on the grid next year it would be the first time a Finnish racer is not in the grid since 1989 yeah everybody is waiting for Robin Raikkonen now.

17. Sergio Perez

(Checo damn man what happened) (no 2 Redbull driver curse got to checo) (he was doing so good in racing point like Sakhir 2020 my beloved last to first, man what a performance that was) (he is capable of doing such great things but nooo bro gets knocked out in q1 more than he has reached q3) (Redbull killed the dawg in him man) (certain Austrian man haunts his nightmares and no it's not Niki Lauda) (he and Logan are the nightmare gremlins for mechanics)(even when he performs it's usually in no human right countries so he's not really helping the allegations) ( this poor Latina I swear to god) (he can't drive and he's up and about with other women(Taylor swift 1989 reference) aye aye aye(checo go home to your wife and children).

18. Logan Sargeant

(American) (bald eagle noises) (collective groan of William mechanics) (sorry logie bear)(James aeiou shall face the wrath of Jenson button it's ok) (first American to score points in f1 since 1993 that's 30 years so yaaay!!) (American history will be kind to you Logan)(not sure about f1 history tho) (your last gift to us was a sick ass album cover and I respect it) (if only he knew what a kilometre was * sigh*)(bye bye miss American pie).

19. Zhou Guanyu

(China boy) (another alpine escapee) (Zhou I'm sorry but you're not him anymore) (I miss pre-Silverstone 2022 Zhou where has my dawg gone man) (Zhou may not be as good of a racer now but he makes it up by being a fashionista) (tbf to him that Sauber stake monstrosity is not really helpful so) (also he is a catdad and had an emo phase through f3) (He's the first Chinese to ever race in f1 I think he's done his country proud) (He's also a proud Valtteri lover)

Okay so rookies next I did not include them here well because they have had like on avg 4 races soo

1. Oliver bearman

(ollie) (what a wonderful job he has done my god) (p7 in Jeddah on a day's notice wow dude) (he's driving for Haas in 2025 and his teammate is Esteban so that's..great (my condolences!! ifykyk)) also points in Baku after he passed his teammate (tell me you are a lestappen child w/o telling me you're a lestappen child) what I've seen from him I can tell he's very relentless that's good(also he's the most employed unemployed person ever) (also I heard people criticising him by commenting on his current f2 season like babe did u see his rookie f2 season?? that's why he's here not because of this year but last year and he's not doing bad this year it's just the car is shit but yeah he was at one point higher in the f1 standings than in f2 so I get why people are confused lol) (also he's super likeable very Genz very demure very mindful) (Ferrari has grown him in a lab with utmost care so he's very much a PR baby)

(oh yeah also he's in love with Kimi Antonelli) (yeah they are being genz lestappen)

2. Franco Colapinto

(Frankie baby) (Argentinian and very proud) (is very funny) (is also very genz) (sent James aeiou into a crisis by doing a better job than Alex Albon) (scored 4 times the amount of points than his predecessor in his 2nd race) (looks like Senna goes for the gap like Senna( in racing!! in racing!! calm down man)) (he deserves his place in f1 next year my god) (like the racecraft he has shown is very impressive I'm impressed and so is very f1 team even if he does not get the seat next year I doubt people are gonna forget about him believe me he will be in the talks still) (like I said he's not even had a full f2 season when he was called in for Williams and yet the incredible pace he has shown is fantastic) (has all the 30+ aged drivers enthralled with him and I don't blame them I would be too) (also he refers to Ocon as the Frenchman so where do I submit my stan card??) (oh and he has been adopted by Max Verstappen)

3. Liam Lawson

(aka New Zealand's revenge on Australia) (he did a fantastic job in 2023 and has been doing a fantastic job in 2024) (his idol is Lighting McQueen.....so now that everybody knows that he's Genz you can probably understand why he is beefing with Nando and Checo(boomers) (I think he drives aggressively but not as smoothly he is yet to find a balance it looks like but hey it's working out for him no?) (honestly just give either him or Yuki the Redbull seat) (off the track he's quite an expressive person but I don't think we have seen much of his personality he's friendly for sure and I mean he's a cars fan like come on he's a Pixar kid) (idk something about him says yeah I'm Genz but I still go on Facebook) (not that it's bad not saying the vibes are bad just Liam show more personality).

So that's pretty much it let me kno-what ? what do you mean I forgot someone oh lance stroll?? yeah no I didn't forget(I wish) I just have nothing to say really.

PLS READ these rankings are in my opinion and my opinion only please be kind to me this ranking is for humorous and comedic purposes only no hate to anyone!!

[okwonyo]

이희승﹒the pink light is clear, it drew you.

staring﹑ lee heeseung + femreader genre﹑ fluff && est. r.s warnings ﹑ no proofread. skinship kissing && english isn't my first language wc ౨ৎ 717 © ( wonuslust )

JIAH'S NOTE. i'm sorry this is probably be bad and rushed. (⌯︎˃̶᷄ᗝ˂̶̥᷅⌯︎) but i tried my best, as always. thanks to my favorite hee girl for this beautiful request ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝.

• listen, lee heeseung is a perseverant man. so if he has a crush on you, he will not be afraid to show it.

• he would be so serious about it, you almost thought he was joking. he would even ask you out many times and you would refuse because you thought it was some kind of a joke.

• therefore, when you actually started to take him seriously and you both got together, he would tell everyone that you rejected him many times. which is partially true, but you didn't know he was serious in the first place.

• heeseung would not only have you as his lock screen but widgets too ! might as well have you as his tik tok and instagram pfp for a while before you tell him to remove it.

• asks you to @ him on every post or story you make. he wants to be first to see them and will spam you comments or dms after.

• you are always on the last slide of his instagram posts.

• @ you on his posts or stories, even if you didn't ask for it. would put your user in a very obvious place so everyone can see he is yours.

• thinks he might die if he isn't touching you in some kind of way. hand on your hip or thigh. arm around your shoulder or waist. holding your hand or locked arms.

• would tell you to sit on his lap even if there is plenty of room for you to sit.

• he would tap his lap like "come here" and you would be like "bro? there is like two armchairs and a whole couch in this place????" OR would just pull you on his laps without any warnings. it was a bit surprising at first but you ended up being used to it.

• also gratuated from the school of showing affection in public with a doctorat in PDA'olgy with mention. got a 100/100 in his examen of making people mad and jealous at the same time.

• no because he is not afraid of touching you in public. back hugging when you are talking with your friends. whispering things in your ear and giggling at social appointments. kissing you in front of everyone if he feels like it.

• is obsessed with your lips and isn't afraid to show it.

• would kiss you out of nowhere. when you are talking, for exemple, making you completely forgot what you wanted to say in te first place.

• is REALLY annoying about you.

• mentioning in every single sentences he makes. "yeah my girlfriend said it was good", "yeah my girlfriend likes this song/movie too", "actually this weekend me and my girl we are going to...", "this reminds that me and my---" "heeseung, i asked you what hour is it."

• he wants to make sure people know he has a girlfriend and that you are basically, well, his whole personality.

• on his phone 24/7 texting you when you are not around and can't call. doesn't listen to whatever people are saying. his friends say that his phone will become a part of his face he keeps on going like that.

• on the phone with you most of the time when you do can call. you are his only friend at this point.

• don't know where heeseung is? well he is probably with you or on the phone with you somewhere.

• calls you everything but your name too. things like "my girl", "love", "babe", "honey"

• and compliments you every second.

• would make everything in his power to make it up to you if you guys went into a fight.

• comes to you after a little while, as you do the dishes to clear your mind a bit. hugs you from behind, presses himself against you and puts his chin on your shoulder.

• "are you mad?" and wait til you answer. however, if you are still mad and won't talk to him, he would still want to have a physical contact with you and would be attached to your hip until you forgive him.

• heeseung is overall a loser boyfriend who is very obsessed with you. 100% approved by the boyfriendism academy founded by me.

taglist open ❕ @manooffline network @kflixnet

(*¯︶¯*) requested .ᐟ