juliasturnz - Tumblr blog

[juliasturnz]

He’s so cute I’m crying

forever love how touchy chris is 🥰🥰🥰

[juliasturnz]

I’ll love him no matter what 🙏

[juliasturnz]

“A simple call”

M.S x y/n

🜸 - i forgot to thank y’all but oh my god? 100 followers is so muchhh! I’m so grateful for every single one of you🤍

★ - summary:

you’re having the depression loop again, all you wanna do is lay in bed and cry. You need to do it again. You just need to, luckily someone caught you just in the right time

༆ - Warnings!:

Sh moment! (Doing it!!!) mention of sh (and sh on its own), crying, depression, comfort talk (does that exist? 😭), use of y/n!!

✫彡 writers note:

This is slightly personal, I hope y’all enjoy it!

Im so sorry for not posting! School has started and I really need to focus. Trying my best to post as much as possible. ♥️

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Your laying down in your messy bed, not normal messy with like blankets everywhere, or some clothing here and there. But your bed was dirty, dust everywhere, makeup brushes, old food. Whatever disgusting thing you could think of. But did you notice at all? No.

You have been in a suffocating loop, for what you feel like months. Everything has been more exhausting than ever, you don’t even remember what the last time you showered was. Or even brushed your hair, since you didn’t knew where your brush even is.

And most of all, you had a boyfriend you haven’t been texting at all. Reaching out to your phone was already to much to bare.

You were not new in a relationship with Matt. But it wasn’t like you have been ages with him, but you felt like all you could do is sink in your bed. And sometimes, maybe even barely get some food.

You really wanted Matt to know what was going on and help you, but you could find such a big comfort in your sad and dark feelings. You always felt like you deserved it. All of it.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Something felt different this morning, a urge. no you have done this to much, you promised Matt to stop. this isn’t healthy. But it’ll make the pain go away, does it tho? Nobody cares. Do it.. do it.. do it.. do it.. do it..

your mind couldn’t stop racing, you felt yourself shaking, not scared. Adrenaline, am I gonna do it?

You find yourself zoning out, your mind still racing, but the urge is way to big. You need to stop your mind. You have to. Otherwise is isnt gonna stop right?

Your cold feet hitting the messy and covered floor, still thinking about every move you make. You’ve decided, you open that drawer. The drawer, your hand is shaking, but not only from adrenaline, definitely more emotions. But it’s calling your name. The comfort you didn’t knew you needed all these suffocating months, all these horrible days. This was the way.

You pick out the perfectly sharp blade, your fingers trailing the blade slightly, its perfect.

you are lumber to the cold bathroom that you remember oh so well, you aren’t gonna look in the mirror. Maybe that will change your mind, that’s not what you wanted. You didn’t wanna see your messy and ugly face either, so you just sat against the counter.

you lean your head against the cold counter top, you look at the ceiling. Still your mind racing, still the same thoughts. Everything was so quiet. Except for your mind

Frustration is coming up to you, deeply. Why are you doing this? This is the way. You’re sure. This is it right? You linger your eyes around the already healed scars, you needed more.

Finally it hit the skin, finally the voices were gone, finally you felt relieve.

Suddenly the bathroom door swings open, “oh no my baby shit.” Matt drops his stuff en runs to you to the bathroom. You are still in complete disbelief, how didn’t you hear him? This couldn’t be true, this isn’t happening.

“Oh my baby, my baby no no no no.” Matt is in full panic mode, he never had experienced you on the bathroom floor, not like this.

“H-here let me c-clean you up alright? Y- you’re gonna be okay.” His voice has never been this shaky, he’s stumbling over shampoo bottles, old towels and dirty laundry. And you haven’t been in this much disbelief. Ever.

You couldn’t say a word, not a single one. For the next 20 minutes Matt has been holding you in his arms. Warm in your fresh made bed, what he made for you. With the new stuffed animal he was going to surprise you with.

He helped you with everything, helping you get up, rinsing the mess, helping you shower. Everything you didn’t knew you needed, all you needed was him.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Your laying down, staring at the ceiling. You didn’t felt relieve, not a little bit. All you felt was guilt and shame. You didn’t want Matt to find you like this, that was the last his beautiful soul deserved.

“How are you feeling pretty.” He was cleaning your room, he did all this for you. You couldn’t believe it.

You didn’t know how to answer, so you just didn’t, Matt turned his face around to face you. He comes up to you, joins you in the bed. And hugs you tighter then ever.

He gives you a slight kiss on your head. “You know, you don’t have to say anything. Just know I love you in any way.”

Your laying hopeless curled up in a ball underneath his warm and comforting arms, this was all you needed, a simple call.

⤹ ᰔᩚ

I’m sorry this is so heavy to take on, + sorry it is this short. I just felt this was the right ending. I’m so grateful for each one of y’all, please remember my dms are open!

٠ ࣪⭑ tags! 🏷️

@chrispotatos @chrisslut333 @chrissslut @chrisbesitos @chriscamopants @chrissv4mp @chrisshotdog @chrizzzpykreme @chestersturniolo @mattztrip @mattsfavbitchhh @mattstattos @mattsturnswife @mattsgf @sturnioloshacker @sturnslesbo @sturnschris @sturniolonmc @sturnzsblog @sturnzsun @sturnzwrld @sturnzyolo @sturnzluv @monroesturnns @thenickgirl @sturniolonmc @sturnioloho @sturnioloslut @sturniolodollx @sturnschris @sturnxiolotriplets

[juliasturnz]

Guys why Chris is being really freaky since he 21🤭🤭🤭🤭

[juliasturnz]

He's so cute guys I'm crying

[juliasturnz]

I hate him for it (I’m lying I love him to death)

[juliasturnz]

THEY’RE THE MOST PRECIOUS THING EVER

[juliasturnz]

y cant all men b like him😒😒.

[juliasturnz]

HELP THIS MADE ME GIGGLE

Bring back the glasses Matt…I miss u 😕

[juliasturnz]

[juliasturnz]

“You don’t have to hold me anymore”

Chris sturniolo x fem!reader

🜸 - I love this song so much, it actually pains my heart sometimes😭

★ - summary:

You and chris are having a big fight and something he said fully broke your heart.

༆ warnings:

Cussing, slight push, mad!chris, crying, use of y/n, I think that’s all!

✫彡 - writers note:

Yes I’m gonna apologize again😁, sorry for being so inactive. I didn’t have any ideas at all😔😔

“COULDNT REALLY LOVE YOU ANYMORE”

‘what the fuck Chris? Why are you making such a big problem about this?’ You can’t help but keep questioning what’s happening between you and Chris, Chris is just standing in front of you with a blank stare. Maybe even a death stare you can’t really figure that out, your head has been spinning. Nothing seems real, ‘hello fucking dumbass are you here?’ Chris snaps in your face with his long and somehow loud fingers. Fuck you have been zoning out, he isn’t even giving you a death stare.

“I DONT THINK I LOVE YOU ANYMORE”

‘God you are so stupid.’ ‘What the fuck do you want from me Chris, I don’t understand.’ ‘I don’t think I love you anymore.’ Chris seems like he has calmed down, like he needed to get this of his chest, meanwhile you’re just standing in front of him with a teardrop slowly falling down your cheek. ‘get out of my face please.’ Chris surprisingly has tears in his eyes and you could barely hear his voice, you were both hurt. ‘I was going to sleep anyway.’ you almost say whispering, another teardrop falling down from your cheek while slowly walking to Nick’s room.

“YOU DONT HAVE TO HOLD ME ANYMORE”

You walk up the stairs where you surprisingly find Matt and Nick standing there. Your hair is messed up and so is your makeup, you feel embarrassed while also wondering if they heard everything. Matt and Nick have the exact same worried look with furrowed eyebrows. You can’t help but start sobbing, ‘oh come here.’ Nick opens his arms to hug. You slowly walk up to Nick and he gives you the warm and comforting hug you needed, Matt also joined you and Nick, and softly pats your messy hair.

“YOU DONT OPEN YOUR EYES FOR A WHILE, YOU JUST BREATHE THAT MOMENT DOWN.”

Nick takes you to his room while Matt walks down to get a bottle of water.

Matts pov:

Matt quickly walks down the stairs to get a glass of water, he sees Chris sitting down in the corner of his eye with tears in his eyes while scrolling through something. Matt knows exactly what Chris is doing.

When Matt has y/n’s glass filled with water he places the glass down on the dinner table. Walk over to chris and leans against the couch. ‘Bro what did you do.’ Chris looks up from his phone scrolling through the pictures from y/n and him together. ‘Just leave me alone bro, take her if you want she doesn’t want me anymore.’ Matt furrows his eyebrows, ‘aren’t you the one that doesn’t love her anymore?’ ‘Shut up leave me alone.’ ‘Chris just go to sleep.’ ‘Whatever bro.’ Chris gives Matt a eye roll before Matt picks up the water and brings it upstairs to Nick’s room.

Matt walks into the room with my glass of water and places it down on the kind of dirty nightstand. ‘There you go, I’m so sorry about Chris.’ Matt looks at me with a worried look. ‘It’s okay.’ You give him a weak smile before you quickly drink the glass of water. Matt also crawls up Nick’s bed with you laying in the middle. ‘You wanna watch a movie?’ Nick looks at you while handing you the remote. You nod, click on netflix and skip through the movies, you find Chris’ favorite. ‘That’s his favorite.’ You look at the movie without any expression on your face, almost cold. Nick grabs the remote and puts on a random movie. ‘This is a healthier way no?’ ‘Yeah probably.’ You give nick a little smile while he side hugs you.

After a while you look over to Nick and he’s sleeping, he looks so peaceful something you need rn. On the other side of the bed you see Matt rapidly tapping on his phone. ‘Matt what are you doing?’ ‘Chris wants to talk to you.’ ‘Oh uh..’ you kind of stay quiet, you have no idea what you are supposed to say to him, Everything has been said. ‘I told him no, don’t worry, I don’t think he has the right to talk to you yet.’ ‘Mhm’ Matt looks over to you and gives you a big hug. ‘Where do you wanna sleep tn?’ ‘Can I sleep with you or? I don’t wanna disturb Nick, he has been working hard lately.’ ‘Ofcourse .’ Matt gives you a little smile.

“I BELIEVED YOU WERE CRAZY, YOU BELIEVED THAT YOU LOVE ME.”

After watching a couple more movies with Matt, you tuck Nick in with some warm blankets, and walk with Matt to his room when you find Chris still sitting on the couch looking over at you. ‘Oh so your fucking her now huh?’ ‘Dude what.’ You are just staying silent, what do I need to do? What do I need to say? ‘N-no I am not.’ ‘Ofcourse you aren’t.’ ‘For fucks sake just go to bed, stop scrolling to old pictures of you and y/n and talk to her tomorrow give her some space. Jezus.’ ‘Shut up bro.’ Chris spits at Matt with a furious looks in his eyes, but does exactly what Matt says him.

You are standing face to face with Matt looking at each other but you aren’t looking at him peacefully you are giving him a scared look, a uncomforting look. ‘I- I’m scared idk what to do anymore.’ ‘You are going to be alright. I promise.’ Matt guides you to his bedroom. ‘Do what you need to do, I’m in my room prob watching something on Graffiti falls.’ ‘I think I’m going to take a shower, is that okay?’ ‘Oh for sure, let me get you some towels.’ Matt walks out of his room grabs some towels next to his bathroom and hands you the still warm and soft towels. ‘Thank you.’ ‘Ofcourse.’ He walks to his room and falls on the just made bed. You look into the room before going into the bathroom and give him a little smile. And lipsync ‘thank you.’ Matt gives you a warm smile before turning on his tv.

You turn on the shower, a little above the temperature you normally do. Hopefully the burning shower would hide the thoughts in your head that have been non stop playing in your head. You wash your messy hair and you take of your makeup.

half hour later 11:45 PM

You walk out of the shower with fresh hair and a clean face, but Chris is standing in front of you. ‘Um hello?’ You furrow your eyebrows, ‘um hello?’ Chris mocks you. ‘What do you want, I wanna go to fucking sleep.’ ‘nothing I just hope you have fun fucking my brother.’ Chris’ face is cold, not a single expression on his face. ‘I’m not fuck off, your just jealous.’ You turn around and before you could open the door Matt has paused his serie and stands in the doorway. ‘Chris go to fucking bed.’ You’ve never seen Matt this pissed, it’s lowkey scaring you. Chris pushes Matt, this never happens what is happening? You are scared, you don’t know what to do. ‘Your a fucking dumbass Chris, you were lucky with her. Why the fuck do you ruin that?’ Chris is quiet, tears coming up in his eyes, ‘.. I - idk.’ Chris covers his eyes and walk away.

Nick is coming down the stairs standing there in shock, ‘what the actual fuck happened here?’ His voice is raspy, definitely woke up bc of the fight. You kind of run to Nick, you don’t know what else to do. ‘They got into a fight. I don’t know why.’ ‘Oh for fucks sake, let me handle this. Chris come here.’ Chris was going to walk by but Nick stops him with laying his hand on his shoulder and giving him a slight push. ‘Come here crybaby.’ ‘Fuck you.’ His voice is shaky, it makes you wanna give him a hug but that’s probably the last thing he wants from you right now. ‘Yeah whatever come.’ Nick takes Chris to Matt and takes them into Matt’s room.

You walk to the living room, still in complete shock but you turn on the tv to silent the arguing you hear coming from Matt’s room. You hear so many different things a mix from yelling, cussing and crying, your nightmare came to life.

A little while later they all come out of the room, Chris walks up to you. Falling down on the couch next to you, very close to you. ‘I-Im sorry I do love you I- i really do, I just.’ ‘Oh shut up Chris.’ You don’t let him talk what you feel bad about but you kiss his beautiful lips, the kiss was the thing you needed all along. His hands slightly on your waist, your hands in his hair. Everything seemed perfect.

‘Well you guys made up I see,’ you totally forgot that Matt and Nick were standing in front of y’all, but you couldn’t give a fuck. Things were okay again. You break the kiss look over to them and give them a hug. You whisper in their ears a thank you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I couldn’t help making this a good end🥹

if you want to be tagged comment down!♥️ hope you enjoyed this, leave down a like if you like to see more from me stay save 💞.

Tags:

@042502 @chrisslut333 @chrissslut @chriscamopants @chris-slut @chrissv4mp @didiswrld12 @slutz4sturniolos @hollandsangel @hoeformatt @h3arts4harry @heartmatt @mattsfavbitchhh @mattstattos @mattslittleprincess @mattsturnswife @mattsgf @sturnioloshacker @monroesturnns @sturnslesbo @sturniolonmc @sturnioz @sturnzsblog @sturnsblunt @sturnsbaby @sturnslcver @sturnsdoll

[juliasturnz]

HI LOVESSS ITS MY BIRTHDAY TODAYYY SO IM NOT POSTING TODAYYY, ALWAYS TEXT ME IDEAS FOR FANFICS TRYING TO MAKE MUCH OF THEM POSSIBLE I LOVE YOU ALLL, TAKE CARE BABIES♥️♥️

[juliasturnz]

You can’t tell me he isn’t the cutest human ever

do you want a cupcake? here have a cupcake

[juliasturnz]

I have a tiny favor could y’all like my edit and maybe follow me on my Billie edit acc pretty please🤭🤭 — blueeilishx

[juliasturnz]

This is the cutest group picture of them idc😌♥️ (I cried watching edits😁)

WHAT 21 THEY’RE 😭 JUST 😭 BABIES 😭

[juliasturnz]

Guys I fear I cried bc of this. (And the last pic🥰🥰🥰)

happy birthday to the most funny, caring and beautiful guys I know. You guys helped me through a lot of shit and I’m so grateful you. Have a greaaaaat day pookies♥️♥️♥️

[juliasturnz]

Real ☺️

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