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ask-codeearasure · 4 months ago

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Dreamswap Design Critiques

Okay, I haven't read or even looked at Dreamswap in the SLIGHTEST however, Sarco has ranted to me about it, and then gave me the designs of Dream and Nightmare and…. I HAVE A COUPLE THOUGHTS…

That is putting it lightly, I went on a near multi-hour typing spree about them, and then they dragged me into a VC just to hear me rant for many more hours and for whatever reason enjoyed every single second. (I’m pretty sure my friend is a sadist). This was all two months ago, by the way, but I can’t help but still think about this AU and all the bad history behind it.

So hy threw 6 designs at me. I have a couple of analyses and opinions to share based on my own history with character design. That being said, even though both I and Sarco absolutely despise Dreamswap and for many many many justified reasons, this is mainly about the designs of the six main characters, Dream, Nightmare, Ink, Cross, Blue, and Error. The designs for the side characters are bullshit as well, but I’d like to preserve what’s left of my sanity. I like to share what’s on my mind with you guys after all, so long as I can tolerate it.

Where we shall start is with the supposed “villain” of this story that I never read and don’t plan to, Dream.

Looking at the initial “pre-incident” designs, before corruption/villain point, we see something completely odd. The presentation of both Dream and Nightmares’ clothes during this starting point makes them look like their AU takes place during the old western days. I can hear Bonanza’s theme playing in the background when I look at these. Focusing on Dream, we see a lot of pale yellows, golds, browns, blacks, and tans. If it weren't for the blacks, the colors would blend into each other, and far too much at that.

The reason why OG Dream’s color palette, from the second design symbolizing his maturity, works is because the colors are simple and eye-catching. The mix of primarily yellow and black represents Dream’s goal of achieving emotional balance throughout the multiverse. If he was against this, his outfit would have stayed mostly yellow only. But no, the ratio of black and yellow is equal.

Dreamswap Dream looks well-too taken care of to be an orphan or “out of place” in his AU. If anything he probably wouldn't be too out of place in a stand-off at high noon against some random gunslinger from Longmire.

Also if he and Nightmare are not supposed to be siblings and guardianship is different in Dreamswap… why do they still have the metal circlets?

Has anyone ever asked that? Why are the circlets present? Why keep them?

In the original Dreamtale, Nim gave Dream and Nightmare those circlets, and it’s obvious that for them both, they hold great sentimental value and stand for their statuses as guardians to the Tree of Feelings.

With Dream’s circlet, however, it poses a picture-perfect resemblance to the golden filet Sun Wukong, The Monkey King, The Great Sage Equal To Heaven, had to wear throughout the vast majority of events in Journey To The West, which was perhaps either the first or one of the oldest sources of the golden filet’s debut in popular fiction.

Now there is always a chance Joku incorporated the golden filet into Dream’s design just because it looked cool, and I agree with that sentiment. But walk with me to this pier that the Chinese golden filet does hold great symbolism that may or may not add to Dream’s character for you. I swear this is important to my rant.

In Journey To The West, Sun Wukong is tricked into wearing this golden filet by Guan Yin, the Chinese Goddess of Mercy, and Tripitaka, the monk Sun Wukong must accompany as one of his disciples as they head into India from China to retrieve scriptures important to Buddhist enlightenment. However, Sun Wukong is established to have a nasty temper and a bad habit of resorting to extreme violence and murder, which is why the golden filet has a spell on it. Only Tripitaka and Guan Yin know the words to set off said spell (at least at this time), and when said phrases are recited, the golden filet constricts Sun Wukong’s skull until the pain paralyzes him, thus stopping him from committing the violence and murder he was initially trapped under a mountain for 500 years before in the first place. The golden filet serves as a source of punishment for Sun Wukong, it gives him a reason to learn self-restraint and control, it quite literally forces him to if he wants the freedom and enlightenment he’s working for. It ultimately is a big factor in what makes him a better person by the end of the journey.

Yeah, I know, pretty wild stuff. Chinese mythology was off the shits back in the day and Journey To The West is also the origin of just about all common tropes in modern fiction today, including that golden filet.

How this applies to Dream is the golden filet on his design may imply the exact opposite. Whereas the golden filet actively disciplined Sun Wukong, ultimately teaching him the discipline of character, Dream has way too much discipline. So much discipline, so much self-control and self-restraint from his own personal wants and needs, that he hardly gets to enjoy his own life. And this quality of character in Dream is necessary given his conflict with Nightmare and the balance of the multiverse being in direct tandem with which of them lives or dies.

Everyone benefits from Dream’s excess of self-discipline, but Dream actively suffers on the inside with that trait being one of those adding factors. So to the people who insist canon Dream has no character flaws at all, here’s a big one for you served on a silver spoon. Enjoy!

Back to Dreamswap, if Dream and Nightmare are not siblings, are not treated as siblings, and are just two random boys who met each other from the same AU, why do they have the circlets at all? There is no Nim in the narrative to hand them off, so why do they have them? Where did they get them? What the fuck do they represent? The guardianship the creator clearly didn’t care enough about to think through?

I know a part of why Dreamswap was created was to spite Jokublog on the behalf of petty drama, most of which was caused by a language barrier, and so the creator didn't bother to think about the designs or the story influencing those designs through enough. The entire story, mainly what became of the Dreamtale brothers, was created to bastardize the original. It was all a statement, yet people pretend it was all initially created for “fun” as a little sandbox concept they could do whatever the fuck they wanted with.

And to an extent… yeah, sure, the latter is true now, but that wasn’t its purpose at the beginning.

I’m getting off track.

Let's be clear with something, crowns/filets symbolize royalty, upper class, and if anything else, power and authority. When I first saw these designs I got two contradicting messages from them: Royalty, and Old Western. These things can exist at the same time depending on the creative work, and after all, England always had royalty, but the Old Western theme was set in America. This is why I have a problem with it.

Then there is the fact that both Dream and Nightmare have matching outfits. Not exactly 1:1, but they are very eerily similar, almost as though they both go to the same school and have to wear a uniform.

Gold and Silver often give the image of royalty and purity and this does the same for the both of them. They look far too alike to be two random kids who just so happened to be adopted under the same roof.

They look far too alike to NOT be siblings.

They look far too alike to NOT be just made from spite and spite alone.

Now to not be too mean towards these designs, for a character who is going to inevitably be a villain or at least have an antagonistic role that challenges the protagonist in some important way, having Dream’s outfit be buttoned up is a good way to symbolize a “closed off” nature. A way to show he is secluded socially and personality-wise, hiding his motives and keeping his cards close to his chest.

But that is the only good thing I can say about the design… the first design.

Now for the full villain design…

Oh god, the fucking villain design.

This is where that whole “Old Western” out of place thing comes into play. That jacket he is wearing is not something that would be from an old western AU and it clashes with everything else.

To get to the point, as someone who tends to overdesign the HELL out of her characters, this character is overdesigned. Again, the colors of the jacket blend together horribly, and blend into his wings horrendously to the point that it's just a yellow mass. And even then the clothing under the jacket looks to be the same one from prior to the corruption so the argument still applies, but now the message of being a sign of him being “closed off” now is null and void.

He looks far too heroic to be a villain!

You can make the argument that he is convinced he is a hero, but that argument falls dead on the vine when you can't read the character as the villain he is supposed to be.

Villain characters are supposed to fully communicate that they are villains. Plain and simple. Take for instance, Darth Vader from the Star Wars franchise.

He dresses in all black, black being an EXTREMELY COMMON way to communicate that someone is a villain, the same goes for red, hence why he is always depicted having a red lightsaber.

Another villain is Veigo from League of Legends. Another way that villains are communicated is via sex appeal. Veigo has no shirt on, a black leather jacket, black leather pants, black armor pieces, and has a few pale colors to contrast that aside from this toxic yet ethereal teal/green which is a common color to symbolize the Shadow Isles. To help show off his tragic “obsessed lover” aspect and having a “missing piece” (his wife that he is still obsessing over despite being dead for hundreds of years already) he literally has a black hole in his chest. Very few colors, very few details, A FUCKTON COMMUNICATED.

But if that is too simple, let me get another villain from League of Legends because that is my go-to and has riddled my every waking moment with nuclear brainworms from Mars. Send help.

Bel’Veth. What to say other than WOW. Like holy shit. Bel’Veth has design in everything from the moment she floated into the scene in the cinematic she first appears in. Her voice emanates from her so her animation literally cannot lip sync because she is not human, but mimics them. She waddles as she floats to mimic walking, again she isn't human rather mimicking humans, AND THEN THERE IS FACT THAT SHE HAS A FALSE FACE. OH MY GOD.

Okay geeking out aside, design goes far further than just outfits, it goes into how they move and hold themselves. How much posing can tell you about a character. If you look at the physical design you can completely remove the false head from Bel’Veth and you'd see her actual face and multiple eyes, literally revealing to you the actual monster you are looking at. The pale grays and purples on her design are the very colors that have always signified the Void and its corruption.

I know it's not fair to compare a couple of random artists to a multi-billion dollar company, however, it is best to learn where you can. We all take inspiration from other forms of media and that inspiration can come through in one's own work and we all learn design by looking at the creative properties of the people around us.

To give the best example I have that gives away what Dreamswap Dream is trying to communicate, we must look no further than Kayle from League of Legends.

Now Kayle’s design isn't great, but there is something that it does do better than anything else… in its base form.

Impersonality.

Kayle (pictured on the right), via covering her face, disposes of any personality, any true compassion she can communicate with the viewer of her sense of humanity. Her helmet does so much to communicate that. The fact that she takes it off when she reaches her ultimate form ruins the design completely.

If we were to give impersonality to Dream to show his (which is oddly enough a similar thing to Kayle) impersonal completely “godly” justice shtick some actual fucking leverage. We'd actually get a “Oh, this guy is someone who took justice way too seriously and way too far, it’s become an addicting vengeance” vibe.

But we don't get that.

We cannot get that.

All we get is weird angel vibes from Dreamswap Dream because the creators didn't think his design through.

—

Nightmare.

To show that I'm standing unbiased here I'm going to criticize his original design. Yes, the OG. Specifically his corrupted design.

His corrupted design is literally just OG Sans… who looks like he got pushed to a vat of black paint. End of story. I know it has a narrative purpose to be this simple, but I really want to call it lazy. So I will. It's lazy.

That is what we're calling corruption now? Huh. Okay.

Now to Dreamswap Nightmare’s starting design, pictured above.

It has the very same complaints as Dreamswap Dream’s, however it doesn't have the color palette complaint because it's very different from Dream’s. The silver compliments the blue neckerchief very nicely. But that is the only compliment I can give.

His hero design, however…. (this is only one of them, I know)

Oh, we have a lot of problems because… it's trying way too hard to be canon Dream. It really is. Like just canon Dream but with the color purple overlayed on top of it.

Dream’s Cape was literally the fucking sun flag that his brother gave him to shield him from the rain. That flag/cape/now hood has great sentimental purpose to canon Dream as a character because that is the last remnant he carries of his brother.

So giving Dreamswap Nightmare a cape serves no purpose to the character and thus makes absolutely no sense. Is he trying to hide his identity? Can he feel cold? Is that why he has the cape? Is it supposed to symbolize a wanderer, since that’s what Dreamswap Nightmare is? If so, there are so many different and better ways of doing that so it would actually make him look far more interesting and compelling, and again with the circlets. Why?

Plus the stave, baton, or otherwise unexplained staff thing. What kind of weapon is that? Seriously? Is his fighting style even explored or is that there just to be there? Again, since this guy is supposed to serve as some kind of opposite counterpart to the original Dream, at least canon Dream as reasons for having the weapons he does. Dreamswap Nightmare doesn’t. Every theme put into him, if there even are themes to name, looks like they were just slapped together with no understanding of what the designer really wanted. It’s way too obvious to Sarco and I that Onebizzarekai did not understand any of the themes that made Dreamtale stick out as an AU, and that is part of the active reasons why Dreamswap ended up sucking this much.

If you want an interesting moon weapon, just look at the Lunari from League of Legends’ lore. Seriously. Get some actual fucking ideas. Inject some inspiration into your veins. Please.

—--

Ink…

Okay I'm not AS upset with this design, they actually look like they travel around buuuuuuuuuuut–

What the fuck is behind him?

What is that?

Is it a cape attached to his jacket? Why?

Just… why?

Also the entire point of his scarf was to help with his memory issues, it was to serve as a convenient way for him to take notes on important things he knows he’s going to forget, and since he’s always wearing that scarf, he has free access to those notes whenever he needs them. Does this version of Ink not have any memory problems? I ask that because instead of a scarf, he has a bandana around his neck, which if he does have comical memory loss, is there something else he uses to set reminders?

Does he still have to take his paints to, y’know, live? I ask because he doesn't look like he has his paint vials with him, instead he has a belt of bullets or bullet-looking things….

I see they were trying to make this version of Ink look “badass” but take it from me, the bitch that plays League of fucking Legends, it’s not having a gun that makes a character cool. It’s not being an asshole that makes a character cool either, it’s all the things that influence why they have that behavior that gives them the depth that makes them cool. I mean I’m a fan of Ekko from League of Legends and Arcane. He doesn’t have any of the traits that I just described and he is the most badass character ever written to me, I’ll fight you on that.

Anyways, unless Dreamswap Ink fucking eats bullets, I don’t know what other conclusion I could draw here. I genuinely cannot tell if that’s a sash of bullets or paints sorted in containers that look like them.

—

Cross.

The original scar on OG Cross’ face was given to him by XChara and XFrisk as a way to force him to remember the other timelines. It is literally a symbol of his trauma and the abuse he suffered. He is also a variation of Underswap!Sans by the way. His entire AU’s happiness and designs were inspired by Underswap. He is a Swap!Sans already. Changing his design and scar placement was fucking pointless and says nothing different aside from “I just wanted to make this character look different in the cheapest way despite my deep understanding of the original version of Jakei’s character.”

But again it shows that these designs are not thought through; they were made out of hatred or laziness on behalf of the original creators who made all these characters in the first place.

—

Error.

Oh, where to fucking begin…

Where to fucking begin….

1. What the fuck is that on his back? Are they supposed to be spider legs? Jellyfish tentacles? If they are either – why? Is it because Error is often compared to spiders and jellyfish? I am doubtful that that is the reason why his design looks like this.

2. What the fuck is with the hood? Why?? Like… okay I gotta dissect this.

Error's Lucidia redesign by CrayonQueen actively shows his strings via the stitches on the sleeves and pants, and the bagginess showing that he is a very active character, a way of communicating movement. This also makes him an easy character to draw for the creator allowing them a sense of ease. His scarf is a way to communicate movement as well, allowing it to flap about and show direction for when they draw him in comics.

These choices also show the fact that he is a very VERY simple person. He is someone who would rather lay down at home, watch Undernovela, and stuff his face with chocolate more than anything else, aside from destroying everything he can’t stand.

But with the design by Onebizarrekai, we don’t get any of that aside from the spider legs as something that shows his strings… but he isn’t a spider monster and spiders have exoskeletons, so he can’t be a “spider-skeleton” in that way, and perhaps not a hybrid either, and I don’t think Onebizarrekai was going for a Spiderman-type character for Dreamswap Error anyway.

If you want to show off the strings more, you can always have a webbing design on the sleeves or maybe have strings all over him, or have his outfit be more stitched up. Make it look like he doesn’t care that much about his own clothes, that he rips them to shreds and stitches them back together out of necessity. Maybe he has limited access to clothing and that is why he fixes them repeatedly.

To use an example… I will use my own “version of Error”, Digital Klezmer.

Digital Klezmer is overdesigned – but the separate colors allow him to not have the same blending problem that Dreamswap Dream has. I have his AU set in the ROARING TWENTIES (that’s the 1920s in New York). His AU is set in a completely different era. We’re talking swing music, movies being called “Flicker shows” and every woman is either called “Dame”, “Doll”, or even on occasion a “tomato”. His world is ruled by slang and the stereotypical New Yorker accent.

His cape of fur has his hood seamlessly blended into it, and the cape itself has significance, that being his Papyrus was so overprotective of him that the jacket was specifically made for him and the cape is crafted from fur so thick that if he were to fall over, he wouldn’t turn to dust on impact. That fur would cushion the fall and negate all damage. His Papyrus was that fucking paranoid over his brother’s safety and health.

His voice, as I had described in the story that Sarco and I are writing, his voice sounds like it’s coming from an ancient radio – thus showing how ingrained he is to his own culture and his AU’s era. This is a way to show how much of his background influences who he is as a person and what he does.

I had him play the piano instead of the trumpet, showing a subtle oddity in comparison to other Sanses. The era of where he is from is shown with how practical he dresses aside from the jacket which is sentimental to him. The vest showing class and the turtleneck showing his ties to the cold of Snowedin (yes, that is how it’s spelled in The Outer Realms universes).

His shorts show his ties as a “Sans”, but his practical shoes show that he’s a bit more athletic and isn’t as lazy as the average Sans.

The fur on the hood is also to give a bit of a lion-like feel to him, and enhance his silhouette a bit in comparison to other Sanses. It makes him appear much bigger than he actually is, indicating what he might think of himself and the influence he has on The Outer Realms, and then the Inner Circle of the multiverse.

All of these differences are nothing compared to his personality as a gambler and the way he uses his magic.

Playing poker with this man is like placing a bet on a dying horse, you are gonna lose. Every time. He loves gambling and even actively carries a deck of cards wherever he goes.

His magic is used COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY than any other Error presented. I had him be someone who plans ahead, and has his team – yes HIS team. He doesn’t work for The Outer Realms’ Nightmare, that Nightmare works FOR HIM – go out as a distraction so he can hack into other universes (specifically negative ones) so he can set them to self-destruct. He weaves his teal strings into ribbons that turn into spears that can do damage based on the tension he gives them. He can control them without moving. He also uses his strings to become claws. And he can even destabilize himself to negate any attack instead of dodging, or even just turn into a string of code to increase his speed. He is active and takes advantage of his new HP but still values his own safety, hence why he is not afraid of getting into fights.

Digital Klezmer takes full use of his abilities and gets quite creative with them, unlike the original Error, who fucks himself over by making each job of his harder for himself.

But he also has an actual weapon. Its story is very important in the future, so I won't reveal its significance here. I’m a total cunt, but I’m not cruel.

But to show how proud I am, I will give you one final tidbit of Klezmer’s design that I am way too proud of. His left eyelight. It’s an “x” with two rings around it. It signifies his focus and endless stubbornness. I thought this shit out FAR MORE than anyone realizes – Sarco legit had to stop me from going on because I nearly gave spoilers. This is why I have an editor breathing over my shoulder, thank you Sarco, I love you. I’d legit fight a bear for you.

This is all to say that I’d LOVE to see more designs and takes on other AUs, I’d LOVE IT. I really would… But these designs are not it, and Error’s Dreamswap design is just… not good at all. It’s so boring, it’s bland in the worst way possible. The only interesting things are the spider legs and they do NOTHING for the character. They add nothing to him.

–

Swap!Sans, or what’s called Swap!Sans or Blue. The bane of Sarco’s existence, and I see why (Ve fucking HATES this guy more than anything fucking hell).

No armor, a shit-eating grin, absolutely no depth to be perceived other than what I’ve already been told. Out of all the designs I have been sent, though, Blue is the only one out of them that looks a little happy, not an angry two year old wishing they could break the camera their overbearing mother stuck in front of their face.

Why is there no armor? Isn’t this guy supposed to be an enthusiastic practicing Royal Guard? Of course not, cause Onebizarrekai seems to have had an addiction to assholes with a base-level characterization and in application to every character at the time they were making Dreamswap.

The entire idea of Underswap in general is that the roles of many main characters were swapped, mostly in occupation but some partial trades in personality. Asgore is the one who lives in the Ruins, Toriel takes her place as Queen and rules over the Underground, Papyrus takes up the simple guard post, and SANS IS IN THE ROYAL GUARD TRAINING UNDER ALPHYS WHO IS THE CAPTIAN OF THE ROYAL FUCKING GUARD.

Deep breath…

There is absolutely nothing in this design that references any of this information, and if Blue is supposed to be extensively different from the original Swap!Sans, which I assume he is, why the shitty casual wear? He’s definitely not an average Joe, I can tell by the glitch and the ERROR in his left eyesocket, but how he got that isn’t made evident aside from maybe, maybe he got stuck in the Anti-Void at some point. Did he have an encounter with Error or did he end up there via a different source?

What the fuck is that on his shoulders??? Is that supposed to be a fucking poncho. If it is, it’s a BAD ONE. Ponchos are supposed to go down your waist, not stay only covering your shoulders. They are supposed to cover your torso.

Ponchos are a wonderful way to show that a character is someone who travels a lot, they give a very nice silhouette, they also give warmth because that is another thing they do, along with keeping the arms from getting sunburn should your character be in a desert. However, it’s made null in this case because of how… insignificant it is. It’s there, but why? Is it supposed to be part of the cape? I’d assume that if it weren’t for the scarf, and the thing on his shoulders being a completely different color from the thing going down his back so that must mean the thing going down his back is actually a part of his scarf. SO THEN WHAT FUCK IS ON HIS SHOULDERS??? If it’s not an unfinished poncho, I can’t grasp what the fuck else it could be.

That’s… about all I have for Dreamswap Blue.

Fuck, I don’t like any of these designs. They add nothing to whatever vision Onebizarrekai had for these characters, only take away what made the original versions so interesting in the first place, and it’s not like I can efficiently judge these designs on what their Dreamswap counterparts were going to be, because Dreamswap doesn’t have a concrete story or character work, which makes sense considering all the themes it has fucked up. I took one look at their pinned post and found this.

Drawing takes effort and I know it takes a long time to learn how to draw, and these guys have some talent. I will always give props where it is due. I’m pretty sure all these designs were made back in 2016-2018 too, so they’ve been around for at least 6 years now. I have no doubts Onebizarrekai got better over time.

HOWEVER…

When it comes to character design, the Undertale fandom has problems and as a whole needs to take a step back, take a deep breath and start actually putting in some fucking effort. Like come on guys… and I’m not addressing the people still learning how to draw.

I don’t like saying this but… you all are getting lazy. Are you not thinking about your world design, the lore. ANYTHING, REALLY? By no means is anyone a professional concept artist here and I am not asking for that, if that helps.

I understand, a lot of you are just trying to have fun and maybe I’m the weird one for asking for more, but I actually like thinking about the worlds my characters inhabit, the way their stories reflect in their designs. It’s something that I personally love to do, and no doubt others reading this do too. And a lot of the designs from the fandom don’t really reflect this; those that do reflect, their stories are a handful at most and even then, some of them are only reflective of the designs and don’t show the story they’re supposed to have.

Take Outertale for instance. It’s 100% space aesthetic, but 0 story. The designs themselves make them look like they’re supposed to be attending a space themed party. I got so upset with it not having pushed the designs far enough and having no story I made Outerswap – again no spoilers– I SEE THE GUN, SARCO. STOP. RELEASE ME.

What I am saying is, I want you all to do better because I KNOW you can do better. This fandom has a fuckton of talent behind it but does NOTHING with it. Most AUs I’ve seen are like Dreamswap here, a rehashing of projects that already exist and doing nothing new or interesting with them, and that’s not inspiring. It’s just a pattern.

For those of you still learning, just try. I’m not expecting instant improvement. I’m saying TRY. Put in the effort. We don’t grow as artists and storytellers if we don’t TRY. If you need inspiration, explore other things, especially elements you aren’t familiar with. Look at other people’s artworks, look at videos critiquing character design like TBSkyen – my personal favorite. If you are insecure about storytelling, read more fanfiction, read more books, read more poetry. READ. There is always something you can take inspiration from for your own work and it doesn’t have to be Undertale only. Use as many sources as you like, there is no limit to what you can use at your disposal. GO FUCKIN NUTS, MATE!

There is always room to grow. And that is what shows the most in artwork of all kinds, be it drawing or writing, and what it takes to do that is to get out of your bubble more often.

Sarco interacts with and follows people who are already doing this, but there’s nothing wrong with more, more, more!!

Anyways, that’s my critique. Have fun, go nuts. You only ever have one spark of madness, don’t lose it.

…trying to force a nice concluding sentence when I’ve been critical this whole time is a tone shift I am not okay with, holy shit. Get away from me. Get out. Run.

– Ouija, edited by Sarco

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