#blingy text

[aquamarinebling]

V3 post canon au where they’re clearly trying to appeal to Gen alpha as they start aging into teens/tweens so instead of anime and game references, the “funny reference character” just ends all of their sentences with some Hip New Word.

For example. “This murder is NOT making me feel very sigma right now..” <- spoken with immense seriousness.

[atplblog]

Price: [price_with_discount] (as of [price_update_date] - Details) [ad_1] A popular collector’s guide to discovering the world of unusual, rare, and dazzlingly retro watches.What you wear on your wrist can be more than merely functional. Eschewing the common categories of the “classics,” the ostentatiously high-priced, and the “blingy,” this book brings together individualist pieces that few have seen and even fewer own. Retro Watches is a collector’s guide for those who want to make a statement with the watch they wear, but who are looking for something a little different. It collects the most intriguing, visually striking, and out-there watch designs from little-known but influential watch brands, along with overlooked but brilliant pieces from the major players. Over one hundred watch models are featured, specially photographed for the book and accompanied by accessible, informative texts discussing the watch’s design, history, and intriguing features, as well as info panels detailing rarity, value, and other key attributes. Additional breakout spreads dive into the cultural and fashion history of watch design and the many innovations of the ’60s, ’70s, and ’80s. Beautifully presented, Retro Watches is the volume for the watch wearer who wants to stand out from the crowd. Publisher ‏ : ‎ Thames and Hudson (23 June 2020) Language ‏ : ‎ English Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 256 pages ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0500022968 ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0500022962 Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1 kg 90 g Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 22.35 x 3.05 x 20.57 cm [ad_2]

[solarichor]

hello i hope ur having a good day, whats the font on the butch blingies u made?

hiii it's listed as 'old english text mt' in my files and i'm not sure where i downloaded it, but theres a free and widely available font named 'old london' that's virtually identical aside from a few small details.

[cloud-based-and-rainpilled]

It’s giving text GAYPIRATE to 5567 for a FREE BLINGY EMOTE!! *ringtone rap tone*

our flag means cringe !

[plutowrites]

new to your blog and im in love already (╥﹏╥) if its okay could you do some bf connie hcs, loads of fluff plss ෆ╹ .̮ ╹ෆ

sweet bby thank you so much!! i hope you enjoy this piping hot serving of cotton candy fluff

Relationship Headcanons w/ Connie Springer

his love language is between quality time and gift giving!!

no matter how many times you tell him that you don't need a new blingy watch or a pricey designer sweater, he doesn't listen. it's his way of showing you that you're always on his mind wherever he goes and he loves seeing you in the things he bought you. just let him love you the way he knows how pls <3

best karaoke partner. no debate. he's an arianator btw so be prepared to sing every ari song there is

he enjoys going out A LOT but if you're more of a home body he would make staying in as fun as possible even though you dont mind just laying on the couch doing nothing with him

you can never decline a call from him plss he's blowing up your phone,,,he does NOT care about your schedule at all. he'll text you like "wtf answer." and if you still dont pick up he'll be like "it's an emergency!!" and so you answer and he asks if you know any good lasagna recipes. BOY.

he's so emotionally mature and makes sure there are healthy boundaries in the relationship and that you always feel comfortable with him. as much as he is a goofball he knows how important it is to maintain good communication with your partner. whenever you want to bottle things up instead of expressing yourself, he's there to help you sort through your emotions and thoughts.

his hugs are always super tight and loooong. he likes breathing in the scent of your shampoo mixed with your perfume

pls connie will run a joke to THE GROUND. you make a typo while texting him once like 3 years ago and he still brings it up whenever he gets the chance

meanwhile his typos are so BAD you can't even decipher what he's trying to say skdmskfds it's because he types really fast and doesn't proofread shit

he is such a 'come sit on my lap' bf. doesn't matter what he's doing, or what you're doing -- if he says come sit on my lap he's expecting you to be there ASAP

whenever you're being negative about yourself he comes over to you and squishes your cheeks to get you to stop talking

"the outfit looks amazing baby. stop doubting it."

"argusduhh"

"you always look freakin beautiful so shut up, okay?"

"blbblbuhgh"

to conclude, anyone would be lucky to have THE connie springer as their bf!!

[unwiltingblossom]

I’M SO ANGRY AND UPSET

AAAAAA

I noticed one of my favorite old smutty Jumin/MC fics updated and I’m like “Oh, awesome, neat!’ Chapter 1 had phonesex that I’ve mentioned is super rare in the fandom, chapter 2 has some steamy office sex stuff, and 3 was also pretty nice!

Yes, it had a very dominant and sexy-controlling Jumin in the story, but in truth I don’t actually mind that. Sure, it’s not accurate, but as long as it’s not spreading around incorrect headcanons to distort his character perception it’s whatever. Jumin absolutely would be super dominant if you’d like him to be, so it’s fine.

but then

THEN THE LATEST CHAPTERS/FINALE

has Jumin manipulate MC into thinking that Zen violated her (and ruins Zen’s life to do it) so as to mentally break her and make her completely dependent on him and then basically locks her away into his house.

I mean whatever, I’m not gonna kinkshame if that’s your fantasy, BUT I

ARGH THAT ISN’T LIKE JUMIN. THAT’S SO AGGRESSIVELY NOT LIKE JUMIN IN ANY WAY, ANY STEP OF THAT, IT HURTS ME

AND THEN COMMENTERS ARE LIKE “oOHH~! Yep, that’s Jumin!” “Poor MC, she picked the wrong person! Jumin can’t get away with this, you need a Zen AU!” and like “aaaa, the second bad end, so good”

FIRST

BAD END JUMIN WOULD N E V E R DO THIS

OKAY?

OKAY

second

Jumin has never in his life hated Zen

third

I accept kink and ooc, but what the hell, how could you just whiplash from some mild kink to EXTREMELYT DARK kink??? with zero warning???

and act like that’s at all within Jumin’s personality

or capability

that’s right

i had to bring in the blingie text

He would die

and die

and die again before he ever intentionally did harm to the woman he loves with all his being.

JUMIN HAN IS THE LEAST LIKELY MAN IN THE ENTIRE CAST TO DO HER HARM

never

never ever ever

ever

never

he would never hurt her

NEVER.

[bravomckenzie]

I love your headcanons! Do you have any for Priya?

THE QUEEN OF MY HEART I ABSOLUTELY DO

her place is probably so nice and so glamorously decorated. she always has candles burning in every room bc we know sis loves her scents

i feel like she has an answer to literally everything. you could ask her for advice on any subject and she’s going to give you the best possible advice on the face of the earth and will be so helpful

she comes from money but is really independent and worked for everything she has and is very proud of that

texts you “brunch tomorrow?” at like 11 pm on a saturday without any actual advance notice (but you always say yes)

great gift giver

loves holding hands but like platonically so if you’re out walking with her she always intertwines her fingers with yours also she probably sits so close to people like weirdly close if you aren’t comfortable around her lmao i just see her being generally affectionate even in friendships

her nails are LONG and always look freshly manicured

i feel like her and mc always like tag along for each other’s first dates if they’re single after the villa. like they sit in a booth a few tables back just to make sure everything is alright and they can swoop in if the guys weird or creepy or they have like a text code where they know to immediately call each other with a pretend emergency to get them out of it. chelsea is probably also involved on this one

gives you a matching bracelet with her for christmas one year 🥺

her and mc tell each other literally everything. EVERYTHING. every single detail of each other’s lives, in and out of the villa. i always saw them as most honest and upfront with each other in the villa. neither of them ever sugarcoated anything and they never judged each other for it. mc is who she trusted as her confidant through everything with noah. and if mc was also pursuing noah, priya still supported her despite also being interested. they’re just so good to each other and trust each other so much GOD i love priya anyways

gold > rose gold > silver

you know she has more than one very large closet.

i feel like she has a really just basic spring break-esque tattoo somewhere pretty hidden that she got when she was like 18 and wasted with her girls one night. like a little butterfly on her foot or something

lovesssss cheesy romcoms and her and mc always have movie nights where they watch them together after they leave the villa

i feel like she likes blingy jewelry but honestly who doesn’t

PERFECT skin bc of a very dramatic and lengthy and bougie skincare routine

hates emojis and never uses them except for the occasional 💋

also just like a note that i have decided in my personal love island the game universe that has to be slightly different than cannon but idc these are MY headcannons: i see her, chelsea, lottie, and mc being soooo tight after the summer is over. they go out together a lot. brunch, clubs, movie nights, you name it. a sweet little girl gang. i think the beef between lottie and priya/chelsea ended up bringing them all closer idk i love the idea of them as the cutest little squad 🥺 but also might be my bias of loving the three of them hahahahaha

[haiykuties-imagines-blog]

hello! i love your writing so far - good luck on the future of your blog! may i request an angst scenario with akaashi but has a very fluffy ending? thank you very much! also! if you need any help or advice, i'm always free - just shoot me a message! good luck and thank you again! (p.s, you might wanna turn anon on hehe :3)

Hey, Thanks so much! I would just like to warn Akaashi fans that I honestly kinda struggle with his personality, but I hope this will do aha 💓

Akaashi Keiji x reader | Word Count: 1,481

You knew he struggled with emotions. And that he wasn’t the most affectionate. He loved you, but there was never any affirmation, never a sense of love and affection emitting from him. So did he really love you?

Was it all a facade? Well, it wouldn’t be a facade considering the man always looked like a statue, so cold, desolate and hollow to the core. More like a lie. Maybe it was a lie he told you on the occasion because he felt too bad to end it after so long. Either way it all seemed hopeless now.

The soft buzz of your phone rang throughout out the air, shaking the table ever so slightly, surfacing your mind back to the miserable reality you drowned in.

“Sorry”

That was all it read. Your blood boiled at the sight of the one worded text from Akaashi, was this situation a joke to him? You couldn’t even muster the effort to reply, often like himself when it came to your texting stream. Pondering, your mind replayed the scenario back in your frazzled head.

The sun set graced the skys above, the orange and yellow hues spreading like a blanket across the city, it was warm but not over-bearing as you cooked dinner. It was only a simply pizza, you had both had a busy day, like always. It was a constant routine with you two, never fluctuating down to the very second it seemed. He liked it that way. You didn’t mind, but a little adventure is fun every now and then right? Either way you set the timer for 25 minutes, humming to yourself as you scanned through the calander perched on the marble ledge. The 21st of September. Your anniversary. Of course yoh hadn’t forgotten, you had brought Akaashi a watch, simple as it was you knew he would like it. It was plated gold but not necessarily blingy, straightforward, like the man you loved. You couldn’t wait to give it to him! Practically squeeling with joy in your heart.

Akaashi rocked in from work just on time, the alarm Blaring throughout the small apart, the sound was enough to drive you insane after long. You quickly greeted your lover, placing a chaste kiss on the cheek before rushing back to the kitchen. He gave a faint hello back and that was it, no questions about your day or anything. Nothing. It was usually like this, but on a day so special you would’ve appreciated at least a little something back, even a smile. Yet he remained a statue. Lifeless and uninhabited of any possible emotion.

It grated at you and weared you down, you were reaching your limit, yet this day had to be special! So you slapped a content grin across your face and played it out as if there was nothing wrong contorting and eating and your mind slowly.

Dinner went rather fast, small talk here and there, you’d managed to get a vague smile to smear slightly along his lips. ‘Congratulations to me’ you thought, a bit more aggressive and sarcastic than your average in head voice. You were sour but hope begin to sink back into you as you remembered one thing: His anniversary present!

You quickly excused yourself, dashing along the corridor and into your shared bedroom before picking up the matte black box with a little red bow wrapped neatly across it. This was it. You saved and saved for this watch, any extra money going towards it. You prayed he would like it.

Sliding the box over to him, after your return, he stared up at you; blank and confused as to why you have placed it before him. His delicate fingers brushed over the ribbon, then he slowly opened it, revealing the watch in all its delicacy.

His next words destroyed you, completely and utterly.

“What’s the occasion?”

Something in you heart snapped hearing that. You felt like someone just swung punch right into the pit of your stomach, it curdled and raged, you wanted to be sick. Your mind wasn’t racing no more, it was blank, like a blank sheet of paper. All the cogs in your body stopped moving, the emptiness you felt was unbearable and grotesque. For what seemed like an insufferable hour, but was only a matter of seconds, you were uncomfortably tranquil and lost. The slow agonising ticking of the dinning room clock seemed so loud, practically eating the entire room.

For once, you were the statue.

Akaashi stared at you, bewildered in your hurt expression, he truly had no idea what was happening.

“It’s our anniversary Akaashi”, you stated, blunt and with such venom in your words.

“Oh yeah you’re right, I forgot, I’m really sorry y/n I’ll try make it up to you another time”, he replied still emotionless, did he actually even care by this point?!

He forgot.

How could he?

You tried to save up so much

Was it all for nothing?

Where is his effort hiding?

You cracked, every fibre in your body officially broke. You couldn’t feel the seething pain of his words no more, nor the sting wrecnhing at your heart shred by shred.

You couldn’t even control yourself as you robotically edge your way towards the front door, picking up your coat and leaving. You didn’t even glance back, you couldn’t, it would cause to much anguish.

Akaashi just sat there at the table, repent and agony leaking across his face, how could he do this to you? Why was he so stupid? But most importantly he wondered if he’d actually get you back after this, he destroyed you completely due to his ignorance and now he had to pay the price.

It had been about 15 minutes since he sent that text, you took another sip of your coffee and stared at it again. You eyes bored into the message as if it was going to tell you something. People must’ve stared at you weirdly, you looked nuts, eyes puffy and swollen, disheveled hair and practically shaking in your seat. You didn’t know whether to give in or not. Mind clouding up yet again like the brewing of a wrathful storm.

You kept ignoring the text for a few more minutes. The subdued buzz flew into the air again.

“Y/n please come home, I’m sorry, I truly am. I understand if you want to leave me, I haven’t treated you right, taking your affection and emotions for granted; completely forgetting to give you back what you deserved. Can we just have one last chat, i love you”

Shock took over your body, that’s practically the most he’s ever opened up to you in one go, you felt awful about him talking about the idea of you guys breaking up. You didn’t want that. Quickly shuffling all your stuff together, you made a B-line for your apartment, this would not be the end.

Knocking faintly on the door you waited for a response. You heart raced, you felt so overwhelmed, how would Akaashi act towards you now? You just left him on him own, without anything.

The soft click of the door brought your mind back to the present, the door jarred open slightly, but he didn’t open it fully. Instead he walked away, awaiting your entry. You swallowed the lump in your throat, holding back tears as you opened the door further, eyes shut tightly.

After gaining the courage to actually open them, you found yourself in utter disbelief at the sight before you...

Scarlet rose petals lead a trail along the cream coloured carpet, slowly your eyes followed the petals until it came to a halt, you glanced up to see Akaashi. He had matching roses in his hand, fresh and dewy, a smile graced his lips but his whole face showed regret and pain. You jumped towards him practically, embracing him in such a large hug that you almost took the poor man to the deck, tears began to prick at the corners of your eyes as you stared up at him.

“It might not be the best, but don’t worry, your anniversary present won’t be this, this is just the beginning of a new chapter”

You honestly couldn’t believe it, the man that was so stone-like before is now before you, pouring himself and his feelings to you. Honestly you weren’t even listening properly to what he said, you were overjoyed, this was a new chapter, a new time to learn and fall even more in love with eachother.

The rest of the night was just pure bliss, cuddles, kisses and anything in between. You slowly felt your eyes drift, laying on the boys lap was a dream, so warm and comfy. Akaashi played lightly with your hair, appreciating every fibre of yourself.

After all, you were both happy now, starting your new journey together.

[aquamarinebling]

my art summary for this year :]

[daeva-agas]

Wonder if Masa was copying Nobu with his sparkly parade.

”Date" is a term used to saw “showy” because Masamune paraded the Date troops through Kyoto like a band of peacocks (Date megane = non-prescription for-show glasses, Date-otoko = blingy dude).

But you know, there’s also that kinda weird theory that “Masamune is a fan of Nobunaga”, so maybe he wanted to do the same parade that Nobu did in Kyoto, 11 years prior.  

in 1581 Nobu brought the Oda army to a parade down through the streets of Kyoto, with the emperor in attendance. It was about just as sparkly. Gold and colourful Chinese brocades and tiger skin and bling bling. 

I mean, the letters Nobu sent Terumune was pretty random sometimes. IIRC one of the letters went “Hey I’m going to go attack Kenshin because I don’t like him”. Not sure if that was meant to gauge where the Date wants to stand because they’re situated pretty near the Uesugi territories, or if he’s really just being chummy. Like you know, when you send your friend a text/chat and be like “Hi I’m bored, what you up to?” kind of thing.

[marshmallowprotection]

Jumin owns a pair of blingy underpants that has dollar bill signs, he also has one that has a text pointing to his youknowwhat and labels it as 'the moneymaker'

Cursed image.

[guylty]

A little addendum here courtesy of Armitagebesotted who received Flat Richie before our latest recipient, Monica, but did not have time to write down her own account of the flying visit until now. This was Flat Richie’s 10th leg, travelling from LA to NY.

All words and photos are Besotted’s! Enjoy:

I enter my building’s lobby and the doorman hands me a box: big, heavy, slathered in layers of tape, including some glittery and some with girly pictures. So much tape that the doorman, who is very OCD about writing apartment numbers on packages gave up on finding a place to apply his Sharpie and had to make the extra effort to tape a “4J” label on it. (Did I discern a little stink eye in my direction from said doorman? Too bad.)

What the….? Did I order something from an over-eager eBayer?

I look at the return address: Los Angeles. I don’t know anyone there. Light begins to dawn. I had just read a story on Guylty’s blog about Flat Richie being in LA, written by someone named LoLo. I look again at the name on the return address. Yes, that name could probably anagram itself into being “LoLo.”

Smile. BIG smile. Flat Richie has come to me!

I manage to refrain from laughing out loud in front of doorman and race to my apartment to dig in. Such fun!

Tons of items, individually wrapped, in exquisite papers, which I suspect Guylty supplied, based on bits/hints I’ve seen in her photos of other craft projects. I really like the peacock feather paper, Guylty. [Nope, credit to LoLo – she sent me the peacock tissue paper first, and cheap skate Guylty reused it!] Here’s a tiny preview for all:

I sort the content into “no” and “maybe” piles, then let it all sit over night.

“No” pile. Don’t take it personally anyone who contributed these items it’s really hard to choose

“Maybe” pile

I came back the next day for final choices and repacking.

Sorry to say, ladies, I retired that box. (It was beat.) But that’s why I photographed it carefully for posterity!

I repacked all in a fresh box, with my contributed items and a scribbled note in the Flat Richie book, and sent him on his way to the next recipient.

Flat Richie is on his way to the next lucky fangirl

Sounds like I did all this pronto, right? Wrong. Sorry to say, ladies, I was a laggard. Flat Richie was here for a week and he never left my apartment: didn’t see Brooklyn or New York City. Then it took me another week to write up this story. Bad fan, bad fan!

I am right in the middle of a big project and didn’t have time to show him around the city, which is not my usual life, I swear. I’ve been known to spend 12-hour stints in front of my computer reading fan fiction (if it’s sexy enough). This was just a bad coincidence of timing, and I apologize to anyone who was affected by my bad fan behavior.

So which items did I choose for myself? I’m a sucker for anything home made, and, of course, anything funny. I ticked both boxes with these three items.

Item 1: “Nevertheless, she persisted” button. For those not following the minutia of American politics, this was said by an asshole legislator about U.S. Senator Elizabeth Warren when she didn’t follow his directions to stand down on some issue and barged on ahead with it anyway. Which issue? Can’t remember, and does it matter? She’s fabulous, and he’s a jerk: That’s all you need to know. So the statement has become a rallying cry for American women who are tired to being told what to do by asshole men. I will wear it proudly, and everyone will think I’m making a political statement, when really what I’m proclaiming is “Nevertheless, she persisted in adoring Richard Armitage despite judgmental idiots who think fangirling is ridiculously silly.” (It is, but why should that stop us?)

Item 2: Sexy Guy in a blingy frame needs no explanation, of course.

Item 3: This is a two-sided refrigerator magnet. Again, no explanation needed for us, and for anyone who doesn’t “get it?” Who cares!

#gallery-0-4 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-4 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 50%; } #gallery-0-4 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-4 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

Oh my God, that man in a tux….

My three contributions are commercial products with home-made “additions,” let’s call them, and I hope someone will enjoy them mightily.

(By the way, I saw “two items” in someone else’s story recently and wonder if I screwed up the directions and was only supposed to take/trade two items. Whatever, I kept it fair at three for three!)

It was hard to choose. There are many, many fun items in that box, and I will enjoy others’ stories in the future now that I’ve seen the loot they have to chose from.

A big thank you to Besotted for this detailed photo (love) story – and for supplying Flat Richie with a new box. With all that tape around it, the old box must have gained some considerable weight… [On that note just a reminder to the remaining recipients: When replacing items, please keep the weight total of the package in mind, just for future recipients and their postage costs 😬 😉] Please do feel free to change the box if it is too tatty/too big/too small. The important things are the contents, not the packaging 📦.

As for the continuing journey – after Tennessee, Flat Richie will continue to travel in the US. That’s all I’ll say for now 🤐 and until we hear from the next recipient.

[Guest Post]Throwback to Brooklyn with #FlatRichie A little addendum here courtesy of Armitagebesotted who received Flat Richie before our latest recipient, Monica…

[zuucc]

Playhouse Pt. 3: A. Matthews I SMUT

Word count: 4,958

Smut: Yes 

Summary: Auston and his girlfriend is once again back in Arizona, and once again they find their way into the tiny playhouse in the back of her garden, but this time Auston finds his way down on his knees for other than reasons than him being to big for the playhouse. 

Author’s note: Third and last part to the playhouse series! As always, requests are open and feedback is greatly appreciated. Also, that gif shows how fucking great his ass is (and his thighs).

Masterlist, Part 1 & Part 2 linked in bio

‘Just landed, can’t wait to see you,’ you texted Auston when you landed in Scottsdale. You were going home for summer break. Auston had gone home the week before, but you had to finish some school work before you could leave Toronto for the summer. Auston had offered to wait, but you knew you would finish up faster if you were alone, and besides, you wouldn’t be much company. Now Auston was coming to pick you up in the airport. ‘I’m waiting patiently,’ he texted back and just seeing his name pop on your screen made a smile appear on your face. Your excitement to see Auston never seemed to fade, it didn’t matter if you had seen him two hours ago or three weeks ago, if you were 4, 14 or 24. A few minutes later you were out of the plane and on your way to baggage claim, you got your luggage and moved towards where Auston would be waiting for you. 

It wasn’t hard to spot him, taller than most others, a dark blue leafs cap on top of his head, a big bouquet of pink peonies in his hands and a big smile on his face as he bent down to take a picture with a few young boys who had come up to him. He waved goodbye to the boys and turned your way, his smile lighting up again as he noticed you. You hurried towards each other and you threw yourself in his arms when you were close enough, Auston catching you and lifting you slightly as you hugged. Auston sat you back down and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Hi,” you smiled and looked up at him. Auston leant down and gave you a smiling peck on your lips. “Hi, I got you your favorite flowers,” he smiled back and gave you the flowers. “Thank you, Aus,” you kissed him again, before you started to head out to the parking lot. Auston grabbed your very big suitcase in one hand and laid his unoccupied arm over your shoulders, pulling you into him. 

“So, how’s Toronto been without me?” Auston smirked, pulling your hand to his lips, kissing it as he drove. “Aus, I usually spend a lot more than one week without you, but since you asked.. our bed was a little too big and a little too cold without you in it,” you looked over at him, admiring his smile and his jawline  as he kept his eyes on the road ahead, only letting himself glance at you a second at the time. “Well, I missed you, a lot, as usual,” he pouted, but the pout quickly turned into a smile when you started laughing. “I missed you, too, babe, but now I’m just happy to be here, to see you and my family, and yours, too,” you smiled, squeezing his hand. “Me too,” he glanced over at you, a content smile on his lips. 

Not long after, Auston pulled into his parents driveway. Your parents came running across the street to greet you, engulfing you in hugs. As soon as you were out of their embraces, Ema, Brian and Auston’s little sister, Breyana, embraced you. “Where was my welcoming committee?” Auston joked behind you guys, everyone laughed and you escaped out of your mothers grip to put your arms around your boyfriend. “Hey, I was pretty happy to see you,” you smile and look up at him. “Yeah,” he whispered and a sheepish smile made its way onto his lips. He put his arms around you and wiggled the both of you back and forth, nuzzling his face in your hair while you laughed. “Ugh, it’s so cute I want to puke,” Breyana mutters and turns to go back inside, making everyone laugh again. Your father got your suitcase out of the car and started towards your childhood home. “Dinner’s ready, honey,” your mother said, a walked back across the street. “Okay, I’ll see you later,” Auston kissed your head and released you from his embrace. “You’re sleeping with me tonight, right?” you asked, tangling your hands with his. “Of course, i’m not about to voluntary sleep without you,” he smiled. You smiled and kissed him. “See you,” you walked backwards a few steps, just looking at him, before you turned around and ran for your house. Suddenly it felt like your were eight years back in time, sixteen, in love and rushing to get back in time for dinner. Now you were 24 and nothing had changed. 

You spent the next few hours with your parents, eating your favorite meal and catching up with them. You were sat in between them in the sofa when your phone buzzed in your pocket. ‘Playhouse? Now?’ Auston texted you. You responded immediately. ‘Coming.’ You wondered what he was doing there now, it was almost ten and he rarely asked you to come there unless it was something special. He must be feeling extra nostalgic today, you thought to yourself as you put on your shoes and made your way out to the playhouse in the back of your garden. As you approached it, you saw that Auston was already inside. It was also light inside, he must’ve brought a flashlight, you thought. 

When you opened the door, Auston sat crosslegged in the middle of the room, wearing a dress shirt and dress pants, a lantern with a burning candle placed next to him. “Hey,” you smiled. “What’s the occasion?” Auston smiled shyly. You were about to sit down, but Auston stopped you. “Wait,” he almost whispered. You couldn’t stand completely straight in there but you did as he told you. You watched him move from his sitting position onto his knees, then he moved one leg and now only one knee was left on the floor. One knee. “Shit,” you whispered. Auston grabbed your hand before it flew to your mouth. He looked up at you and your eyes met, both his and yours filling with tears. Auston drew a deep breath before he started talking. “Babe,” he started, you nodded, showing him that you were listening. 

“This fall, we will have been together for ten years, and you’ve been my best friend for 24. I have loved you for as long as I can remember, and it all started in here. I kissed you for the first time in here, even if you didn’t want me to,” you chuckled and felt a tear slip down your cheek. “We hid in here when our parents wouldn’t let us be alone anymore, I kissed you for the second time in here, I asked you to be my girlfriend in here. Some of our most important memories were made in here. And I’d like to make some more... Babe, I love you more than anything else in this world, and I would have never been where I am today if it wasn’t for your support. I don’t think I would have lasted in Toronto for more than a week if you hadn’t come with me,” He paused to dry a tear that had escaped his eye, taking another deep breath. “I don’t know why I’m rambling, because I have had everything planned for months, but I just want to spend the rest of my life with you - will you marry me?” he finally asked and pulled out a velvet box, opened it and revealed a beautiful diamond ring - not too big, knowing that you wouldn’t want something too blingy. 

You couldn’t find your voice, all you could do was nod and smile as the tears streamed down your face. You fell to your knees as well and threw your arms around his neck, clinging to him. His arms found their way around your back and he pulled you to him. “Yes, Auston, yes, there is nothing I would want more than to marry you,” you whisper through your tears. You pull back to look at Auston, another tear falling down his cheek, but a big smile was plastered on his face. You rested your forehead against his, a happy and content sigh escaping you. You leant in and kissed him deeply, your hands finding their way to the sides of his face. One of Auston’s hands moving up your back and into your hair.      His lips were pressed hard against yours, but the kiss still felt innocent and soft - like it did ten years ago. 

Auston pulled back and rested his forehead back on yours, his hands comfortably moving up and down your arms. “I love you so much,” you smiled, leaning in and giving him a quick peck. “I love you, too, baby,” he smiled back, pulling away and placing a kiss in your forehead. “Come here,” he then said and patted his thigh. He was still down on one knee. You got up and sat down on his thigh, both your feet placed in front of him. “Here,” he said, and pulled out the ring from the velvet box. He took your hand in his and placed the ring on your finger - it fit perfectly. Auston let out a deep breath. “What?” you giggled. “I’m just glad that it fits, I actually stole your promise ring when you were in the shower, to make sure I got the right size,” he grinned. “I was looking for that for two days, and then it just magically appeared right in the same spot that I left it in!” you argued jokingly, lightly hitting his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he laughed and placed a kiss on your cheek. “I forgive you... fiancé,” you say, a smile quickly spreading on your lips. Auston laughed and shook his head like he couldn’t believe that he was, in fact, your fiancé now. 

You touched your lips to Auston’s cheek, leaving a couple of kisses there, as Auston turned his head towards you, until your lips eventually met. His hand moved up to cup your face, deepening the kiss. Only a few seconds after, you could feel his energy shifting and you opened your mouth slightly to let your tongue meet his. The hand that had been placed on your lower back found its way underneath your shirt and to your bare waist, pulling you even closer to him. Your fingers tangled in his hair, lightly tugging at it. Auston groaned deep in his throat, his hand moved from your face to your thigh, the one on your waist inching upwards, closer to your breast. Auston’s lips moved down your neck, finding the same spot that made you week when you were fifteen - and still did. 

You moaned as Auston’s hand moved between your legs, slowly moving towards your centre. Your leg was already close to his crotch, but you decided to slowly push against him, feeling how hard he was. You could hear the change in his breath. “Let’s go inside, yeah?” you proposed, looking up at the low ceiling in the playhouse as Auston kept leaving kisses down your neck. “Mhm,” he murmured against your neck, vibrations moving through your body, all the way down to your clit. He didn’t stop though. “Aus, now,” you moaned and got up from his lap. 

“Nooo,” he reached out after you. You giggled and ran through the tiny door and stopped in the middle of the garden to watch as Auston struggled to get out. When you saw that he was out and had closed the door you started running again, this time for the front door of your house. It didn’t take long for Auston to catch up with you, with his long legs and professional athlete speed, putting both arms around you and throwing you over his shoulder. “Shh, my parents have probably gone to sleep,” you whispered outside your door. “Good, ‘cause we’re going straight to bed,” Auston answered, wide grin on his face. He sat you down when you got through the door. You both moved quickly up the stairs to your bedroom - giggling as Auston once again picked you up and carried you all the way to your bedroom in the end of the hallway - thankfully far away from your parents room. 

Auston sat you down by the sink in the bathroom that was connected to your bedroom. He immediately stepped between your legs and started kissing you. His lips left a wet trail of kisses down your neck. His hands on your hips, pulling you towards him - pushing his hips into yours. You moan as you feel his hard member against your heat. “Aus,” you breathed, putting your hands on his shoulders, but not quite having the willpower or strength to push him away. “Mhm?” he kept kissing your neck, one of his hands having found the buttons of your shirt and was slowly opening them. His lips followed the naked skin, moving closer to your breasts. “Maybe we should just,” you took a deep breath. “...get ready for bed, so we can just do this,” you were interrupted by your own moan as Auston had managed to move your bralette to the side and now had your nipple in his mouth. “Mm,” he breathed like he agreed, but he still kept going. 

“Auston, come on,” you giggled as he buried his face into your chest. “Okay,” he straightened up and looked at you with a wide a smile. You shook your head, smiling, pushing him away as you jumped off the counter. You both started getting ready for bed - Auston standing behind you with a hand on your hip as you brushed your teeth. You leant forward to spit in the sink, your ass accidentally brushing over Auston’s crotch as you did so. “Babe,” he whined, throwing his head back. You giggled as you put away your toothbrush. You turned towards him and stood on your tippy toes to plant a kiss on his jaw. The hand that you had placed on his chest slowly moved down his body, stilling on his bulge for a few seconds before pulling away and removing your makeup. “Whyy?” he whined again, reaching out for you and pulling you into him. He watches you in the mirror as he pushes himself against your ass in search for friction and his hand finds it’s way into your exposed bralette. His lips fall to your neck as you finish removing your makeup. 

“You done?” he asks as you throw away the makeup wipe. “Yeah,” you smile. Auston bends down and picks you up bridal style before you can even think about your next move. He quickly carries you to your bed, letting you fall down on it. You giggle and try to pull him down with you, but Auston goes straight for your jeans, opening them and pulling them off. He lets a thumb move over your soaked underwear before he starts leaving kisses all the way up your stomach, letting his tongue leave a trail between your breasts up to your collarbones. He left a few sloppy kisses up your neck, and finally, he let his lips touch yours. You grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him down on top of you. Auston rolled to the side, pulling you with him. He moved his leg in between your legs, making you moan as he pushed his thigh against your centre. Your hands go to his dress pants, opening them and sticking your hand inside, running your hand over his clothed member. Auston moaned into the kiss, moving his hand to the side of your face, pulling you even closer as his tongue found its way inside your mouth to meet yours. 

You moved to straddle his hips, grinding down on his bulge as you did so. Auston groaned and sat up to get closer to you. You moved your hands into his already unbuttoned dress shirt, sliding it off his shoulders and Auston pulled his arms out of it. Auston did the same with your shirt, his hands immediately moving to the clasp of your bralette. The straps fell down your shoulders and you threw the thin material to the floor, along with your shirts. Auston’s thumb slowly moved over your nipple, watching closely as it hardened. You leant in closer and carefully moved your lips from his collarbones to his jaw, latching onto the spot you knew made him the weakest. “Mm,” he moaned and pulled your body closer to his, making your hips once again push against his bulge. His hand moved up your back, stilling at your neck. Your lips met again, open mouths and tongues hungry for dominance. 

Auston laid back down, and took you with him. He moved to his side, pushing you off him. His hand sliding down your body and into your underwear. You gasped as his fingers moved up your slit. “Fuck, babe,” Auston mumbled as he felt your wetness. A moment later Auston had hooked his finger into your panties and pulled them off. He rested on his elbow, giving him the perfect angle to kiss you while also having access to your centre. He moved a finger inside you, another following closely behind. “Aus, please,” you whined as he slowly pushed in and out of you. “What, babe? What do you want?” he said, his lips moving against your neck as he spoke. His thumb found your clit and stopped you from talking. “All of you,” you moaned. “I want all of you, Auston,” you breathed. Auston moved to sit on his knees and bent down to kiss your neck. “Fuck, I love you so much,” he mumbled into your neck. “I love you, too,” the last word coming out as whine, as his fingers were still inside you. “You’re close, aren’t you?” he asked, speeding up as you nodded and he felt your insides clenching around his fingers. He laid down and put his lips on your clit, sucking on it. Your fingers immediately tangling in his hair, slightly pulling on it. “Come on, babe,” he encouraged you, the vibrations helping to send you over the edge.

When you opened your eyes after your orgasm, Auston was on his knees in between your legs, his fingers in his mouth, licking them clean. You got up into a sitting position and started to push Auston’s pants and boxers down his thighs. As soon as his member sprung free you moved your attention to him instead, taking him in your hand and running your tongue all the way up his shaft. You put him in your mouth and sucked a few times, Auston’s hands in your hair, guiding you. “Babe, enough,” he whispered, followed by a moan, like he didn’t really want you to stop. You let him go and placed both your hands on his lower back, right above his ass. You looked up at him, meeting his stare while you let your hands slide down to his bare ass, giving it a squeeze. Auston’s smile turned into a goofy, almost embarrassed smile, and you couldn’t help but let an uncontrollably big smile take over your face. He shook his head and got up to remove his pants and underwear entirely. “What?” you asked as he shook his head, big smile still present. “I just don’t understand your obsession with my ass,” he laughs. “It’s a good ass, and I love you - which means I also love your ass,” you explain, and watch as his cheeks turn pink. “Okay, but it’s still weird,” he laughs and climbs back over you. 

Auston moves his arm behind your back and moves you to the middle of the bed. “Do you want to get underneath the covers?” he asks, on all four above your body. “Nah, I’m fine with seeing you in all of your naked glory,” you smile and carefully watch Auston’s reaction to your answer. “You just can’t stop, can you?” he laughs, leaning down to kiss your cheek. “No, am I not allowed to think my fiancé is hot?” you say, earning another laugh from Auston - and another set of blushing cheeks. He buries his face in between your neck and your shoulder, lightly kissing your neck. “Why do you still get embarrassed? I’ve been graphically telling you how hot I think you are since we were like fifteen - when you hadn’t even grown into your body yet,” you ask, laughing. You let your arms run down his back. “I know, I honestly don’t know, it’s something about your smirk when you do so,” he tells you, poking your cheek when you smile just the smile he was talking about. 

You move your legs around his lower back and squeeze them together, pulling him closer to you. While doing so, you put extra pressure on Auston’s hard member that’s pressed against your thigh, earning another moan from him. “I love that sound,” you smile, making him blush once again. “Stooop,” he giggles, and you laugh. This was one of the reasons why your relationship was so strong - now going into your tenth year together. You could always make each other laugh, no matter the situation, and you could still make him blush like it was the first time. “Now, can we please get to fucking?” he asks, his cheeks still red and his smile brighter than ever. “Yeah, who’s stopping you?” you ask and lift your head to kiss his lips. “Just you and your embarrassing comments,” he argues, laughing. “Sorry,” you smile, kissing his neck. “You’re forgiven, as always,” he finished.

Auston looked down in between your bodies, giving himself a few tugs before carefully pushing himself inside you. With him leaving a week before you, it had been a while since you last had sex. Auston stilled to let you adjust to his size, kissing from your cheek to your neck. “You can move now,” you spoke, tangling your fingers in his hair. Auston started to slowly move in and out of you, his lips meeting yours in a heated kiss. As the kiss deepened, his hips started to move faster, his hand in your hair, holding your face close to his. Your fingers scratching his back, desperate to have him as near as possible. His hand slid down your body, lightly gracing your boob before moving on and hiking your leg up to get a better angle. 

He pushed into you with more force, hitting your g-spot just right, making your moans louder. You weren’t very vocal in bed, which made Auston work extra hard to make you moan. He his lips to your ear. “Now, that’s a sound I love,” he whispered and you could tell from the way he said it that he was smirking, trying to get back at you from earlier. “I know,” you tried to say confidently, but Auston hit you harder with another thrust making you moan in the middle of ‘know’, making him smile proudly. You smiled back, but set out to make him moan louder. Reaching up to bite his earlobe, letting out a sound that you knew made him weak and slightly tugging at the hair in the back of his neck as you did so. It worked as expected and Auston let a loud moan slip out. “Jesus, babe, don’t wake my parents,” you whispered, a smile on your lips. “Fuck off,” he smiled back and unexpectedly pulled out of you. 

You cried out as he quickly moved his legs out from in between yours and flipped you around. You knew what he was doing and pushed your butt up to make it easier for him, along with spreading your legs to make space for him. He took hold of your hips with one hand and held himself up with the other, pushing himself into your still very much soaked hole. This angle was something else, helping him to always hit the right spots. It was also tighter, always making deep grunts leave his throat. He started to pound into you, small whines leaving your open mouth for every thrust. Auston kissed the back of your shoulder, biting into it when he felt himself getting closer to his orgasm. 

“Are you close?” he asks, the question coming out as a whine. “Yeah, soon,” you moaned into the mattress. He knew what he had to do and rolled you both to the side, moving a leg in between your legs to help you hold it up. His fingers going straight for your clit to help you towards your release. His lips finding your soft spot on your neck, sucking on it. “Come on, babe, let go for me,” he mumbled between kisses, thrusting with more force to send you over the edge. As soon as he felt your walls tighten around him, he let go, releasing into you. He kept moving slowly in and out of you, loving the way you sounded when you orgasmed. When he felt the muscles inside you relax, he stopped and moved his arms to embrace you, holding you close as you both worked on calming your breaths after your highs. 

“You’re amazing,” you said, taking his hand that laid on your chest in yours, bringing it to your lips and kissing it. You could feel him smiling from the way his head was resting on your shoulder. This time Auston took hold of your hand and held it up, you spread out your fingers and you both admired the ring on your finger. You couldn’t help but giggle, the engagement ring making you feel all giddy inside. You moved your head to the side to look at him, Auston pulling out of you and turning you towards him instead. “I love you so much,” you smile. You place your hands on each side of his face and kiss him passionately. “I love you, too, babe,” he says into the kiss and rolls over to his back, pulling you on top of him. “Aus, I need to go to the bathroom,” you smile, as he holds you tight and you could feel his cum slowly making its way out of you. “Noo,” he whines, his face buried in your hair. “Mm, do you want to sleep with your cum all over us and the sheets?” you ask, lifting your head to look at him. “Mmmm, okay, but I’m coming with you,” he gives in and gets up with you in his arms. 

He carries you back to the bathroom just like he carried you to bed earlier that night. This time he places you by the toilet, leaving you to do your business while he gets a cup of water. Once you finish you wash your hands and then goes to stand behind him, sliding your arms around him. You move to his side to be able to look at him, him being way to tall for you to be able to look over his shoulder. “Water?” he asks, offering his cup. “Yes, please,” you take it and drink, one hand still sitting on his bare lower stomach. You were both still very much naked. You put the cup back on the counter, sliding your hands back around him. “Babe,” he whines. “What?” your head leaning against his side. “Your hands,” he says and you opened your eyes to look in the mirror. Your hands placed very closer to his now semi hard member. “Oh, sorry,” you apologize sincerely, but you don’t remove your hands or move them. 

“Well, are you gonna move them?” Auston asks, eyes meeting yours in the mirror. Your smile turn into a smirk. “Of course, babe, don’t worry,” you say and slowly move your hands towards his growing member. “Babe,” he whines again, throwing his head back. You take him in your hand and slowly start to give him a hand job. “Fuck, babe,” he mutters and you move to stand in front of him, leaving kisses up his chest. Auston takes hold of your face, placing his lips on yours, his tongue meeting yours immediately. You move your free hand to the back of his neck. As pleasure starts to take over for Auston, you move your lips down his neck, slowly leaving kisses down his upper body, until you move to your knees. You lick all the way up his member, putting your mouth over the head. You start sucking and let your hand handle what you can’t fit in your mouth. Auston puts one hand in your hair, guiding you to the pace he desires. Your free hand moving from his thigh to his ass, once again giving it a squeeze, making Auston giggle in between moans. 

“Babe,” he stutters, and his hand tightens in your hair. After ten years in a relationship and blowjobs being part of at least eight of them, you knew that this meant that he was close to coming. “Mm,” you signal that it’s alright, you’re ready. A few seconds later he bursts in your mouth, and you keep your hand on him until he’s completely done. He helps you up and watches as you swallowed. “Did you just swallow?” he asks with wide eyes, handing you the cup of water, knowing that you’re gonna want to get the taste out of your mouth. You nod your head yes and dry your mouth. You chuckle at his reaction. “Babe, you never swallow,” his eyes are still wide. “Only for special occasions,” you smile, and lean up to kiss him. “Let’s go to bed, yeah?” you take his hand and lead him back to your bed. 

“Fuck, I should propose more often.” 

“You’re such a dork.” 

[hanak0toba]

Tagggggeddd

I got tagged by @dogmaticdeux and @hotaru2120

Nickname: Becca, Beck, Reba (one manager from three separate jobs LOL)

Zodiac: Aquarius

Height: 5′6″ (~168cm)

Last movie I saw: Uhh...  Good question.  In theaters?  Probably the second Deadpool.  LMAO  (I don’t get out much, OK?)  In general?  I watchedddd... the last thing I can think of is probably the live action Bleach movie on Netflix.

Last thing I googled: Century Karate - had to order sparring headgear for my Wednesday night class.  LOL, and now I am $100 poorer.  :(  At least my head will be protected when we do weapons training, though.  So priceless?  (But actually $100.)

Favorite musician: the GazettE if you’re going by who has the greatest percentage of songs on my regular playlists, but Disturbed is probably second by that criteria.  If you’re talking specific musician and not band, I don’t think anyone will be shocked if I say Aoi.  LOL

Song stuck in my head: Scream by New Years Day

Other blogs: Just my Gaze translations site, Defective Tragedy

Followers: 69 (snort)

Following: 69 (also snort - I’m an adult, but only physically; mentally I am obviously 12)

Amount of sleep: ...I try for at least 6-7 but in reality, it’s prob more like 4 most nights.  LOL  Suffice to say I’ve texted/said the phrase “OH SHIT IT’S 4AM AND I HAVE TO BE UP AT 8″ more than a couple times.

Lucky numbers: 3, 7, 11, 13

Dream job: Something that combines my interests and pays well.  With coworkers I like, preferably.

What am I wearing: Skinny jeans, a cold-shoulder top with blingy strappy things, and my house slippers.  Soon to be my pajamas because I am lazy and it’s almost 10:30pm.

Favorite food: Oh man.  Uh, IDK.  I like a lot of stuff.  I’ve been on a salad kick lately.  But cheese is right up there - can it just be cheese?  Because I love cheese.

Language: English, took Spanish in high school (understand more than I speak), some Italian (same), and still slowly learning Japanese

Can I play an instrument: I took four years of piano.  Fun fact, I suffer from numlexia/dyscalculia so I can’t read sheet music and tell you “oh that note is ___” unless I count up from middle C (but I can tell in my head what the next note is supposed to sound like compared to the previous one; I’m weird, IDK).  LMAO.  No one knew because I would just memorize all my sheet music and turn the pages at the appropriate spot for recitals.

Favorite song: I literally cannot choose one that is my all-time absolute favorite.  But the one I’ve been starting my car playlist with a lot lately is AKLO "RGTO" feat.SALU, 鋼田テフロン & Kダブシャイン.

Random fact: Oh.  Well, I kind of said one with the numlexia thing.  Like, in addition to not being able to read sheet music properly, I can’t read an analog clock unless I look at it really carefully, I can’t tell my left from my right without thinking about it, and I have literally no sense of direction whatsoever.  You basically never want to ask me to navigate on a road trip.  IDK.  I have my motorcycle license...?  I type really really fast...?

Describe yourself in aesthetic things: ...I don’t even know what this means.  Um, like thunderstorms, night-time, spring flowers, fluffy cats, jeans, motorcycle boots, black leather, silver, spiky things, sparkly things, feathers, purple/pink/turquoise stuff.  IDK man, this is hard.  LOL  I’m basically a solid mix of metal/rocker style with some girly af touches thrown in.

Tags: I always feel bad directly tagging people because like, IDK who hates these, or who has already been tagged 23423 times...  Free-for-all - if you wanna do it and no one has tagged you, consider yourself tagged.  LMAO

[anxiousace44]

This story took place around 4 years ago when I had just finished my first semester of college. I’m the oldest of seven children, and in many regards, I was seen as something of the golden child at the time (four-year varsity athlete in high school, cheerleader, perfect grades, valedictorian, National Merit Scholar, very involved in church, etc.) One area in which I did seem to be lacking was dating. I have never been a particularly flirty person (I’ll give you one guess as to why), and this was a topic of teasing from my family.

Generally, the teasing was fairly innocent, just a bit irritating. My brother, however, took things too far. He was constantly on my case about dating and the fact that I was doing none of it. I was getting ready to take some time off from school and go on a mission for church, and I was really invested in this goal of mine. When I came home for Christmas after my first semester at school 500 miles away, my brother, who had once been my closest friend, snidely made it clear he thought I would be happier if I gave up on my mission aspirations and just found a man to marry. Mind you, I was all of eighteen years old with extremely limited dating experience. My brother has always been a bit misogynistic (for reasons undetermined—he has a strong mother, five sisters, and a dad who chugs Respect Women Juice), and I knew his opinion came directly from the fact that he believed female missionaries are inferior and that a young woman should focus primarily on becoming a wife and mother. A perfectly noble goal for people that ideal fits, but his rigid views are incredibly sexist, and this picture-perfect idea he had for my life simply is never going to be in the cards for me.

I was home for an entire month over the winter break, and his harassment was getting to be too much for me. I asked my mom what I could possibly do to get him off my back, and she didn’t have a whole lot of on how to manage him, but she did recount the time her college roommate pranked her parents with a fake engagement to get back at them for being too pushy. I decided then and there to replicate the prank, but to pull it off in the digital age, I would need to take it to the next level.

Upon arriving back at school that January, I headed straight to Walmart and purchased a fake engagement ring. I went big and blingy, something anyone could notice from rather far away. I knew I wouldn’t need this prop for a few months still, but I was excited to get started. A few friends at college, my parents, sister, and some family friends were in on the joke, and the scheming ensued. The first Sunday I was back at school, I texted my brother that there were some new cute guys at church that semester and left it at that. About two weeks later, I sent word home (can’t remember if it were through text directly to my brother or through suggestion to my mom) that a guy had asked me on a date. He bombarded me with questions about the guy’s name, occupation, physical description, what the date would entail etc. I spun a tale about the guy’s backstory, claiming he was James Thompson of Arizona, a 23-year-old petroleum engineer at his first job out of college. I even made up a few details I can’t remember now about which school he went to, where he had served a church mission, and siblings he had. I kept the physical description vague, though, because I had yet to select a stand-in guy to pose for the photographic evidence I intended to provide. I simply said he was probably in the neighborhood of six feet tall with light brownish hair. That encompassed about 15 people I knew, which gave me plenty of material to work with. I also said James and I were going to have a Harry Potter marathon over a weekend, which was so on-brand for me and jealousy-inducing for my brother that none of any of this raised the slightest suspicion.

My brother was ecstatic. He is a famed loudmouth and was fairly popular in school, so before you could say “gossip,” half the local high school knew I had agreed to go on a date with a true stud. As I continued to feed him lies from afar, he kept everyone back home updated on the progress of my “relationship.” My sister, a true Slytherin and lover of subterfuge, encouraged his enthusiasm by speculating about hand-holding and kissing and the like. I told my brother we were going to dinner here, to a dance there, and more for months. I claimed he had gotten rid of his Facebook for his mission and hadn’t gotten around to creating a new profile yet, but a Google search revealed that there was a real James Thompson living in the area where I was attending school. On a group outing with friends, I snapped a picture of me next to a guy fitting the description I gave and sent it home as further proof. I soon learned that my family’s spring break would take place over April 1st, so I decided to bring the prank to its finale on that day. My family traveled 500 miles to visit me at school while they were on vacation, but before they did so, I informed them that James and I had agreed to be officially boyfriend and girlfriend. My brother literally ran outside and ran victory laps around the house upon hearing the news.

On March 31st, my family rolled into the city I live in sometime in the evening, and my mom called to ask if I wanted to see them right away. I politely declined, telling her to tell everyone I was going to dinner with James. In reality, I was in my dorm watching Netflix, but my brother didn’t need to know that. In the morning after a few classes, I met up with my family. I was wearing my fake ring, making a show of letting it catch light and sparkle. My family was still all inside the massive SUV we need just to cart everyone around, but upon seeing me and my bling approach, my brother leapt out of the car, ran toward me, picked me up, and yeeted me into the only empty spot while whooping and cheering, “SHE HAS A RING!” The other little siblings that were not in on the joke were equal parts excited and confused, and my mom, dad, and sister were doing their best not to break character. It was too funny for me to maintain for long, so as my dad started to drive us all off to lunch, I shushed all the rowdy kids and simply said, “Before we get too carried away, I have to say something.”

“What is it?!” my brother inquired with glee.

“April Fools.” I smirked.

My brother’s face fell. He took a breath and said, “All right…that makes sense…it’s really soon and that ring is really big…but…when do I get to meet James?”

“No, April Fools. James isn’t real.”

The outrage was comical and soooo satisfying. After a minute or so of rantings of pure, unadulterated betrayal, he simmered down and simply refused to talk to me for the rest of the day. The family was in tears from laughter, and we had a good time telling any random person who would listen about the incredible prank I had pulled for the rest of the vacation.

When my brother returned to school the next week, he had to sheepishly tell everyone he had been duped. Many of the kids and adults were shocked, some were awed, some were disappointed (wth people…I was 18), but all regarded the prank as incredible. I had only attended that school for one year after my family had moved when I was a senior, so not many people knew me well, but despite not even having spent much time there, I became a legend among the student body. When I came to visit after the end of the spring semester, my mom, who was substituting at the school that day, introduced me and reminded them of the prank. I was met with awed reactions, and my brother, brooding in a corner, was teased by his friends for falling for my joke. These sorts of interactions with his classmates continued until he graduated two years later.

tldr: I expertly faked an engagement to prank my misogynistic brother, and he told everyone he knew about it, so when I revealed the joke, he had to tell all his friends that he’d been played

[computercrush]

computercrush intro

hi im dave it/its gay

hai haiii i’m Pillowpup Cybernet!! ^__^ paw/mew/they/it/kit my blog is @pillowpupcybernet

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mtba

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