vaultsixtynine

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I am seeking investors for my new business idea for a really big factory in the USA that produces clothes, steel, computers, eggs and medicine.

[vaultsixtynine]

common origins of suffering, euphoria, and ferret

substack

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sorry to continue to apothecary diaries au post (adjacent) But.

zari and maomao are also similar in how they parse their sexual and romantic desires. which is to say: they aren't parsing them bitches at all. they completely remove their own agency in situations where someone more well-adjusted would understand themselves and others' intentions towards them for what they are, or clarify further to confirm. they turn themselves into an outside observer of the person who is Extremely Into Them and their relationship with that person.

maomao doesn't want the political complications (and has a huge emphasis on status - understandable! it keeps her safe!) and is an unreliable narrator To Herself about what she wants. the mental disconnect between internally commenting on how attractive jinshi is and how he's smarter and more canny and more steadfast than she would've ever expected him to be - and then failing to follow that up with any Personal Stake is wide and jarring. she's also in a culture where women are often bought&sold goods, and highborn people getting into it with each other so rarely has anything to do with love - and on top of that, Her Traumas. the safest thing, and thus the thing her brain has accepted as absolute fact, is that she cannot be and never will be Interested in jinshi, regardless of his eunuch/non-eunuched status.

zari does the same, but she's even a few meters behind maomao; she's regressed (due to factors outside her burgeoning relationship) to seeing herself as an object, where she was just starting to get away from doing that after 7ish years escaped from her hole in the ground. she's accepted partnership with skalazar on sexual grounds only - she is not allowing herself to exist outside of that boundary, and has prescribed an end date for the entanglement labeled 'when skalazar finds someone better to fuck' (girl what are you even talking aboutttttt. this dude quite literally is not built to want anyone else)

but! zari removes herself even more wholly than maomao does. she is not even telling herself she doesn't want to get involved in something complicated - she's just like. i am a currently-convenient warm body. and i have no stake in this other than being useful. <- sound of a liar lying to herself every day of her life. but in her case - unlike maomao - it has nothing to do with safety or propriety or position. for zari, this is purely because she doesn't see herself as a person the same way that other people are People.

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i want a giant bowl of muhammara and a stack of fresh baked pita right neeeeow

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honestly sometimes stories where characters have self awareness and solve their problems maturely can be really refreshing sometimes. and sometimes it feels like therapyspeak slop. intense stories where no one is capable of understanding themselves and act out in incorrect ways can be very fun. and sometimes it feels like contrived bullshit. whatever makes "a good story" is harder to make happen than just using the right kind of characters using the right words

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Tons of mileage to be had out of this image so thought I'd share it

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zari would fucking kill on geoguessr

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when your friend says love you at the end of the call

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"if tumblr dies you can find me on bluesky" "if tumblr dies you can find me on Instagram" if tumblr dies you cannot find me. It's over. I'm free.

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can i go to your house on monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday and sunday

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i am glad (?) that i got attached to a character in nart that most people dgaf abt (including kishimoto. lmfao) because then i can do whatever i want

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i tried to give every character token hair + eye highlight shapes that r like. emblematic. roz's is a heart (duh) and zari's is a weird double-bubble (cell mitosis and/or splitting atoms)

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theyre looking at each other <3

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ok i touched up the roz icon also :)

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the apothecary diaries au goes crazy and my gm and almost all of my party members are in on it

also i'm biased because apothecary diaries is extremely good zari representation but nevertheless.

[vaultsixtynine]

also i'm biased because apothecary diaries is extremely good zari representation but nevertheless.