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screamingintothev0idsposts · 16 days ago

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What happened with tf2heritageposts/blucheavy? This will be a post explaining the experiences that multiple people have had with the user behind the Tumblr blog tf2heritageposts. Please be aware that this post is being made in defense of ourselves and to explain our side of the situation.

We ask that you DO NOT send hate to any of the people involved. It should also be noted that the user behind this blog is a DID system, we will be referring to them collectively as “Cheavy” for better understanding, but other alters of theirs may also be mentioned such as:

Monty

Medic/Robin

Gecko

This is NOT a reflection of how DID systems work, they are a troubled individual who hasn’t previously gotten proper help either due to their own actions or circumstances. They are NOT a reflection of the DID community. If this is your first time hearing about this, I strongly encourage you to listen to the voices of other systems and not form your opinions based on this alone.

We also ask that you DO NOT make claims that cheavy is faking or exaggerating his DID, he’s made a lot of bad decisions, but he does not deserve an accusation like this. We DO NOT support those claims.

It should also be noted that as of writing this Cheavy has made a statement to his blog saying he will be getting therapy to get some help for himself, like I had mentioned this post is intended only to defend ourselves in response to the uninformed statements and harassments we’ve been faced with due to cheavy’s posting of this personal situations for months in both his public servers and his public blog. This post will discuss topics of suicide, self-harm, eating disorders, mental health, animal neglect, abuse, sexual assault, rape, and blackmail. Please be mindful and form your own opinions.

(Dell): I had first met cheavy when he had joined the TF2CC server. I was made aware that he was a well-known blog and nothing else. Due to them being active and friendly we ended up getting close. I had learned shortly after that they were from an abusive home that they were trying to escape from, I had a lot of sympathy for them and wanted to help any way that I could.

At the same time however, they had also begun to get very abrasive in conversations. They were extremely opinionated and had started interrupting conversations to interject their opinion onto it, they were also frequently trauma dumping despite server rules saying that in detail venting was not allowed. They were not the only one doing this just one of the more frequent, so I went ahead and made a connected venting server for people to use.

The interjecting started to get worse from there along with some other behavior, starting at first with personal attacks and breaking boundaries before developing into complete misinterpretation of messages and blackmail. He didn’t know how to leave the conversation along either, no matter how much we begged him to, keeping me up until 4 or 5 am in my time zone and my partner up until 2 or 3 am in their time zone. Some of the names he called us include terf, ableist, sexist, racist, asshole, and more.

It was near impossible to reason with him either as when we would try and type out our explanations for our opinions, he would accuse us of treating him like a child or hyper focus on only a few words of the paragraph instead of it as a whole. When we didn’t change our opinions and expressed our anger with being called names and being talked down to, he would flip his attitude to begging for forgiveness before going back to insulting us again.

As time went on these would also progress to suicide and self-harm threats or blackmail when we would block him. I’ll admit that most of these situations were not handled as well as they could’ve been, but we are not trained professionals, and these draining events were happening every couple of days. Plus, he had expressly asked us not to coddle him or treat him like a child when we spoke to him about our differing opinions.

As an example of one of these opinions, I am a victim of sexual assault and like talking about its portrayal of victims in media, when I did though he would very strongly invalidate me for what I spoke about. I will not be sharing what the media I was talking about is, since while I do not support it, I know I’ll be accused of supporting it which will then be taken as reason to ignore this entire post. The issue when I did speak to him like an adult, he would still accuse me of treating him like a child. It felt like I was walking on eggshells all the time, to the point we needed to make a hidden server channel so we didn’t need to run the risk of saying something that might start another one of these situations.

We had wanted to kick him from both servers much earlier because of these incidents but because I had sympathy for him and later with the risk of blackmail, we decided not to do it. At the same time as all of these we were also helping him move out to an apartment away from his abusive home, including buying his plane tickets using a credit card that I had spent about half a year paying $300 off, but because of my sympathy I dropped it all to get him somewhere safe. I was not the only one either, with my partner spending just about $400 to help and our entire TF2CC community server crowdfunding the rest of the money in just a few hours.

When he was in his new apartment my partner and I then sent him money for food or Ubers and even care packages. With mine including a $70 plushie that I was willing to give to him since he had left his own at home. He later received his original plushie back and due to the previously mentioned incidents I was too nervous to ask for mine back without him offering.

These incidents continued to get worse and worse, driving himself and my girlfriend to mental breaking points over mundane topics, only to be forgiven repeatedly because I wanted so badly for him to change and get some help, which he was constantly promising he would get to. It all started to end when another one of these incidents occurred.

I had been the bargainer and peacemaker between him and my partner for months, but during this incident I was on “vacation” with my family, being taken away from my comforts and escapes to be stuck in a car and then a small house with my abusive sibling and toxic parents. I was also sick with covid at the time and as such did not have the patience or energy to fix another one of these arguments, it was not a life-threatening issue, so I had asked them both to stop so we didn’t have another incident.

My partner agreed but cheavy did not, continuing to talk over me and my request, so I muted him. He then proceeded to spam me and my partner for between 24 and 30 hours, cycling between threats and demands of suicide, personal attacks, and begging for forgiveness. He tried to talk to us in dms, he was then blocked, he tried to talk to us in our main server, and was muted, he tried to talk to us through friends, tried to text my partner, message them on Tumblr, talk to them through paypal, and tried to talk to us through multiple alt accounts We only unblocked him once he started to make threats of blackmail to my partner.

I had only spoken to him for a little while, his attitude still flipping between the threats and begging. This was not the first time he had done these text spams and had in fact been directing them to my partner for almost every other incident that had occurred over the 6 months. I was just unaware of it, since I was always the one who gave cheavy patience, no matter what he did, and had been continually convincing my partner to give him another chance since he said he was going to try and change.

However, after seeing it for myself and the attempted blackmail, I couldn’t take any more of it and me and my partner had decided to ban him from both servers and block him permanently. Telling him directly, he had begun begging again and I genuinely didn’t want to remove him from my life.

I have been in situations before where I was the new person and ending up making a bunch of mistakes that I didn’t realize I was making, resulting in everyone hating me no matter what I tried, it was people who were willing to give me another chance that allowed me to find friendship again. I was even willing to go behind my partner’s back to give him that chance again, but after he began insulting me again, it cemented my decision, and he was fully removed.

Following this he had begun stalking my partner’s account, and I assume he would’ve stalked me too if I had a Tumblr at the time. He was also frequently name dropping us to both his public server and account, allowing hate to come to my partner while spreading hate himself. We had wanted to make a callout post then, but with another pressure of blackmail we decided not to.

We left him alone, only occasionally having updates as they had stayed in contact with a mutual friend of ours, none of which I really wanted to hear about, just had to in case he would say something that would direct hate to us again. It had continued slowing, moving on, he had his friends and his life, we had our friends and our life, until one of his friends reached out to us, describing the exact same experiences we had with him months prior.

To end this off I would like to say something I’ve been saying to cheavy and my online social circle for a while, Cheavy didn’t deserve the hand life dealt him. He didn’t deserve the bad things that have happened to him, but that is no excuse for how we’ve been treated. I am happy to see that he has taken a huge step towards his mental health and hope that he will continue to take steps towards to. All I ask is that you leave us alone after this, and to anyone reading, no there is not a villain here, don’t try to find one. I just hope this can better explain what’s been said about us for the past 6 months.

(Sol, Dells partner): I first met Cheavy when he joined our TF2 cosplay group server back in February of 2024. He was a vocal person, often active and talkative. He was also my first real experience with a DID system. He asked us to set up PluralKit, which I was fine with. He also asked us to implement a rule against mentioning or discussing Overwatch, which was a bit odd to me, but I found the reason to be valid and the server was small enough to regulate.

But then things got worse for cheavy.

In April 2024, after spending a few weeks preparing to escape his family and move into an apartment in a state far away from there, Cheavy told us that his family was planning on filing a conservatorship to control him. In response, the TF2 Cosplay Community helped raise over $400 to fly him out of his current state and into his new state in just a few hours. But then something went wrong, and my boyfriend Dell had to spend $300 of his own money helping pay for a flight.

But hey, Cheavy escaped his abusive family and was moved into a new apartment in a safer state. Awesome! That's awesome! Great!

But then the behavior he’d been showing for a while before was starting to present much more.

This was when the cycle of his behavior began to really take hold of us. Cheavy's cycle of behavior looks like this:

Calm →Build-Up → Inflammatory Comment → Fight → Begging for Forgiveness → Repeat

The Calm stage is when everything looks fine, especially after a major argument or fight. It seems like he's making improvements, working towards recovery, the end of the arguments. But it never really was a solid improvement or change.

The Build-Up stage is when he starts to say inflammatory things or talk about disruptive things. He will be generally inconsiderate of others, often talking over them or saying upsetting things.

The Fight stage is when he says something so inflammatory that his victim must respond to it. Then he will fight them, insult them, threaten them, and continue to drag out the argument as long as he can. This is when we would usually block him or put him on mute.

The Begging for Forgiveness stage is usually directly following us putting our boundaries up by blocking him or muting him. He would avoid accountability through his mental illnesses or give a quick apology. I am also mentally ill but have been taught that I need to be held accountable regardless, others don’t deserve to get hurt even if it wasn’t intentional. As well while he would make an apology, he would also ask us for ours multiple times and even weeks later in unrelated situations, I apologized just about every time as well despite my objections. If we didn't immediately show him sympathy or unblock him, he would threaten suicide or drive himself and me to a mental breakdown. Eventually, we would relent and unblock him, allowing the cycle to continue.

This is what I, and many others, have faced for months. I spent six months in this cycle, with almost daily arguments and fights. We have been threatened with blackmail, suicide, self-harm, and so much more. We have been publicly outed and had our personal information blasted to his 7,000 followers on Tumblr. We have been harassed and threatened by his followers.

We are exhausted, and we want nothing more than for cheavy to get help with these issues so this doesn’t end up happening again. My own personal experience with Cheavy is well documented and I've spoken about it before. But to summarize my key experiences, I will be listing them out as bullet points. If you want to know further details about these events, or if you wish to see the screenshots of them, please contact me directly.

Over the course of the past year, I have been subjected to:

Blackmail, including but not limited to sending former friends screenshots of my criticisms about them, ruining my reputation with call outs, threatening to kill himself and say that I was the reason.

Harassment, including ranting at me, keeping me up all night with texts, alters berating me for not doing what he wanted.

Lies being spread about me

Being doxxed, from something simple as a name-drop in a call to action on his blog to an anonymous ask being sent that supposedly contained my full legal name, address, work, college, personal contact information, and my partner’s information.

Block evasion; Making alt accounts to contact me, using mutual friends as middlemen, finding me and contacting me through other platforms. Even when I've told him repeatedly to leave me alone.

I've cleared up the lies Cheavy has spread about me previously, so if you wish to read through those clarifications, you can read them on my Tumblr. You can also ask me about it if something he says seems inflammatory.

As of writing this, Cheavy has said he will be getting into therapy. I am unbelievably relieved to hear that news, and I sincerely hope that it's true. I hope that he can heal, recover, and move forward with life.

Cheavy, if you're reading this, I want you to know that I'm proud of you for making the decision to get help. That's all I've ever wanted for you. You have so many resources, so much support, and so many opportunities. You just needed to see them. I really hope this stay will make a difference and help you see them. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. I'm glad you're taking that first step.

The screenshots for these two user’s is linked here:

(The following user asked to remain anonymous):

[Monday, December 9th edit]:

I have made mistakes and yes I am responsible for the irresponsible behavior I have made in regards to the evidence I acquired while trying to not have an episode; cheavy had lied about not knowing a personal trauma of mine when he had used a bad phrase to describe one of my alters being nice to him, and when I got extremely upset he once again threatened suicide at me laying boundaries. I had found out when I was gathering screenshots for evidence and I just wanted to get what I needed to support my claims and not look at it anymore.

I know I should have asked for permission, and my reasoning does not matter much as to why and I know this. The only names I did not censor were in the public server. I was desperate for him to stop coming at me in dms and I have to deal with all of this on top of an abusive home, I have made him very, very aware of this, and I know others have their own lives to handle on top of this as well.

He continues to misconstrue things I and others have said, he continues to broadcast everything to his audience of thousands. All we wanted, all I want is for my story to be heard, because I don't want somebody else to have to be degraded and pushed to their limit for months on end. He has exhibited abusive behavior, conscious or not, and with him going into therapy I hope it goes alright.

I really want to hope he means he'll get help this time. having mentally ill responses to his behavior does not make us the evil, vindictive people he tries to make us out to be. No, that does not mean we are absolved of any responsibility, but we are just as human as he is. We all make mistakes; it is how we react to the consequences of our actions that matter. I hope he can realize that and not blame everything else this time.

[original segment]:

I would like to preface this by saying I don’t want any harm to come towards cheavy. I had met him around the end of June, beginning of July if I remember correctly. I was coming out of a bad breakup with an fp. I have bpd, which means i get very attached to some people in an unhealthy way sometimes. My mood fluctuates extremely daily, hourly most times. i am not medicated for any mental illness. I also have OSDD1B, among other mental disorders.

Cheavy had gotten into an argument in a big server about the mischaracterization over classic heavy, and I tried to calmly tell him to leave. He did not listen, which resulted in him being banned or leaving. I had considered him a friend because we bonded over being systems, and after he left the server, he invited me to his own.

He would dm me a lot just with little things to get my attention, i never really knew how to respond to his specific bodily harm jokes aside from being polite and dismissive. Later on, he had kicked out his abusive girlfriend, and confessed he had a crush on me the day he did it to my knowledge. I suggested we start a qpr (Queer platonic relationship) instead of a romantic relationship because I felt that if I refused, he would hurt himself.

The short time we had before it all went to shit was okay. I would lean on him occasionally during episodes, to make him feel better about not doing much for me. during the end of September is where it all took a nosedive, I think. My memory is blurry because when I split (bpd) my emotions cloud my thinking. At this point I had developed cheavy as an fp. Fritz, an alter of mine, was talking to a friend in a group chat we three shared about how I struggle to feel romantic attraction, because I am on the aroace spectrum.

Cheavy had sent sad emojis despite me asking what was wrong three times. I do not remember much about this initial argument, but fritz had gotten angry over cheavys behavior. heavy refused to listen when I tried to explain how I am on the aroace spectrum, but that I did love him. smaller problems bubbled up and when we expressed discomfort, it would set cheavy off. He would threaten suicide when we stood our ground and did not agree with him.

Once, in the shared group chat, I was expressing love for my culture (as I am Chicano), and cheavy tried to overtake the conversation multiple times. This set off another argument because he is white and trying to talk over a minority sharing their culture. We repeatedly asked him to stop, to leave us alone, to no avail. It quickly delved into daily meltdowns where we had to basically threaten him out of suicide by saying we would call the police. Nothing would work to make him stop. He has admitted to breaking my boundaries and I have proof of it.

I know he throws fits in order to get my attention, that he says awful things in order to make me react, but the things he would say would make me split. When I would not react, he would immediately jump to suicide baiting me. No matter how angry he has made me and continues to make me, I do not and never have wanted him to die. I want to hold onto the hope that he can be better. but he refuses help at every turn in order to play victim to get more pity.

I and others have given him countless options, abundant advice. He has openly refused. He has told me multiple times I am more mentally stable despite being in an abusive household, and he knows this. I would get angry and lash out repeatedly at him. He deletes what he says so we can’t get evidence of him saying things, but I have truly countless screenshots.

He has never truly apologized for anything he has done to me, not once. I had not either until recently, because I am so done with having to deal with this. I am so tired of the continuous splitting and memory fog he makes me go through. I am so tired of being abused by someone I thought I could trust. When I brought up his abusive behavior during an episode of mine, he flipped out. He made drastic claims about what I said, none of which was true, but ran off with cropped screenshots of the things I said to a mutual friend of ours.

He has twisted the truth, or just wouldn’t tell it at all in order to make himself look better. He continues to lie about me and others in his server for over 100 people to see. He has namedropped me in front of his audience of over 7,000. Recently, I would try and defend myself in his server, and he would not stop lying or twisting my words. This has caused me to keep splitting. I have asked him to stop repeatedly. I am upset he still does this, to the day I’m writing this (Sunday, December 1st).

I had blocked him after I believed he got one of my friends doxxed out of rage, about a week ago. I isolate myself from others so I do not lash out and say nasty things, so I blocked cheavy so I wouldn’t do this. He kept begging other people to make me unblock him, dragging others into this bullshit. I foolishly unblocked him. A few days ago, a day or two before Thanksgiving, I told him not to talk to me because I would be busy. He of course did not listen and continued to randomly vent as he usually would.

I blocked him the other day so he would stop asking me when we could talk again because I got very, very angry and I did not want to lash out for the millionth time. I had told this to the people he begged, and the only reason I continue to unblock him is because he threatens suicide at any slight inconvenience.

Any boundary we even think of setting down is met with a suicide threat. Last night, I had asked him to not call me a name I used to use, and he called me it anyway. This sent me into an episode where I almost hurt myself because of the distress it caused me. I know if I told him this, he would tell me he didn’t know, but I should not have to provide a reason for every single boundary I want to set. As of right now, I am dreading having to unblock him again. I just want him to stop hurting people because he refuses to change.

(The screenshots for this user are linked here. The only messages left uncensored are those who are directly involved in this situation. Majority of screenshots have also been removed for these safety purposes):

Couple notes:

In the process of making this several users asked to remove their statements, I will not be sharing the reasons as to why for their safety.

We have previously made a warning post on this a few days ago, but decided to take it down as it had the display names of people from a server who were not involved in this situation in some of the screenshots. It was irresponsible and an error we should not have overlooked.

For those users I would like to offer some assurance, the post is removed before it was able to get further than 30 accounts, display names still do make it hard to find exact accounts as display names very often do not match up with usernames, and the server that these screenshots were taken from is already public, being pinned from cheavys profile, so nothing much should come of this.

As well if it is any consolation, cheavy has dropped our full usernames to both his 100+ server as well as his 7000+ follower account so we are in the same unfortunate boat.

As well as writing this (12/09/2024) We have reason to believe Cheavy has been posing a friend of himself named Dylan and has been sending blackmail as well as doxing threats to Sol in response to the now deleted warning post and word of this post being made.

We believe it is him since:

Their typing style is extremely similar (lack of capitalization and run on sentences)

The information (while largely incorrect) is not something anyone else but cheavy would know (unless he was openly sharing personal information in public), for instance, claiming that I, Dell, do work as an ABA was something that was mentioned to him more than 6 months ago which is something that me nor my partner openly posted about online. I had also quit this job no more than a few weeks after I had started working it.

The style of threat this person makes is the exact same to previous threats made by Monty and cheavy mixed with Monty (giving a timeframe for the threat, counting that time down, praising cheavy, and a lot of personal attacks).

There was a photo sent by Dylan that says “I’m not cheavy” on a notepad and after looking over it we believe the hand holding the paper is cheavys based on the similarities to another picture of cheavy’s hand he publicly posted (short bitten nails, wide squared nails, short wider fingers, light skin)

Attached below is the evidence of these claims with only the involved people uncensored:

Examples of the similar blackmail style are also available here:

The goal of this is not to ruin the life of Cheavy, we are only here to defend ourselves and explain our experiences. Cheavy has been publicly posting about this for months with his view on the situation, while also publicly talking about us as villians resulting in hateful messages being sent to us. We ask that anyone reading this please hear us out on our experiences and form your own informed opinion.

All we want is to be left alone, no more stalking, being talked about as villains in public places, or threats of doxing and blackmail. And for cheavy to continue making the steps he needs for his mental health, to focus on his college and his livelihood so a situation like this won’t happen again in the future. He’s developed a strong support network through his school, and it would be great to see this result in good changes for himself.

If you’re going to do anything to cheavy we strongly encourage that you just unfollow and block him. Don’t bother him. Don’t message him. Don’t send mean asks or anonymous hate, that is not what we want. Just block him and move on.

If you have any questions about the segments listed above, please feel free to contact either the blog rottingdotcom or this blog. Just be aware if you are messaging this blog, I am new to Tumblr and may struggle a little with replies, but I will do my best and answer as much as I can.

Thank you for reading about our experiences.

#tf2 #tw suicide #tw abuse #long post #team fortress 2 #not a heritage post

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antis-delete-your-blogs-pls-thx · 1 year ago

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Yeah, this is seriously concerning. I think you guys should block and be aware of someone with this amount of Tumblr reach saying this shit.

This b0gl33ch guy fully intends (and has done already, as you can see) to falsely slander queer abuse survivors (a particularly vulnerable demographic, especially to this type of accusation in the current climate) as pedophiles because of coping/vent fic. He's wished death on us multiple times and stood by it, only to deny it when pushed. Multiple times. Despite the evidence otherwise being right there. He's refusing to listen and moving the goalposts back and forth. When he himself has shared "underage NSFW art" for shits and gigs. Hey, bud, if it's harmful, you "joking" about it doesn't lessen that harm.

Again, he denies his behaviour, despite proof being right there.

I also had someone tell me in private that one of the people collaborating on a project with him has sexually harassed others multiple times in the past, so I worry that he's so convinced the predators must be here that he's oblivious to the ones right next to him.

Every time we point out to him our being queer survivors is relevant to a conversation about a) art censorship and b) coping mechanisms, he just rants that we're saying that to escape being pedophiles. To the point where he's actively erased our identities. So I'm very concerned about how this pedojacketing behaviour is likely not going to stop, even with the demographic he's aiming it at in mind.

Oh, and here:

Same guy who's just SO concerned with the harmful effects of minors potentially seeing "problematic NSFW content" online, to the point he wants to censor survivors (and supported getting one blacklisted from an entire industry, btw. That survivor is now destitute and dying from a medical condition they cannot afford to treat). Apparently he was totally fine with NSFW Velma (from Scooby Doo) art, too, and she's canonically a minor.

#psa #block and report #pro ship #pro shipping

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metalheads-trash-bin · 1 month ago

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THIS WILL BE THE LAST TROLLS POST I EVER MAKE.

First off, thank you to those of you that continued to show all the work I make love. Thank you for caring for my work other than Trolls.

Now, onto this post and my final statements about this fandom.

I joined the fandom late, I’d always technically been a part of it but never interacted until about a year or so ago through this site. Immediately I got interaction and a good amount of followers, a lot of people enjoying my work and wanting more.

That “wanting more” slowly became harassment as I got messages every day from a select few people commanding me to continue writing or making fanart. This slowly started to seep into me but was NOT the nail in the coffin. Even as i got handfuls of asks commanding more.

The nail was how the fandom handles abuse and abusers. I am a punk person, to those of you that know my Tiktok i post a LOT of punk content and have gained so much interaction. I am well known in a lot of communities and am even trying to advocate for the people that cant. It is BASE LINE respect to “always believe the victim”. Base line. Yet as soon as a very POPULAR and HIGHLY FOLLOWED creator who is being accused of abuse posts content back showing very explicit conversations and mental breakdowns to embarrass you into silence everyone FLOCKS to them. I had so many friends in this fandom, and as soon as i was publicly HUMILIATED by him for speaking out, i was being blocked. Some of the people i used to make fanart for and support are now people i look at with fear and disgust. This includes my fans, people who BETRAYED me and did not stand with me. Didnt QUESTION why all of a sudden I deleted everything?

Let me lay things out for you all, FINALLY. Since im fucking PISSED. He BLACKMAILED ME INTO SILENCE. He got his boyfriend to THREATEN ME. And when all was said and done as i was choking on my sobs? He kept the post UP. His post with THOUSANDS of views and comments saying disgusting things about me. Because no one gave a FUCK about the fact that me and my friend both came out about horrors when it came to him and his new boyfriend.

I am so disgusted and disappointed as to how my fans reacted to this all, i had even gotten a dm PRAISING ME for going back into silence. That broke my fucking heart.

Why am i bringing this up now? Because a multitude of his art for Fliff had had messages for me. Which NO ONE but me and my fiance knew about. Dictator barb? Message. Floyd saying insults to riff? Message. Are you all that illiterate to context of someones character? Did the INCEST HE PUT ON HIS TWITTER NOT SAY ANYTHING??? JD and his BROTHER having a threesome, completely naked said NOTHING? And when someone pointed it out he said he didnt give a shit.

No one gave a FUCK. I have so much dirt on one of his friends i used to ADORE that i will never utter even though he also fucking abandoned me because he knew him longer and believed i was the wailing banshee.

So overall, trolls fandom, get your FUCKING ACT STRAIGHT. About victims. And about context.

I am a HUMAN BEING. My callout was not something to laugh at and silence just because you like the PORN he draws.

He’s once again posting after i was able to get him to fuck off from this fandom for almost a year. The relief i felt for that year was bliss. And now? I can barely fucking breathe. Once again i feel trapped.

So FUCK YOU ALL.

Have a fucking ANGRY and HURT tw of self harm under this sentence.

Good riddance, Trolls fandom. This is the last i will utter a word about the fandom or my experience. I am so disappointed.

#trolls band together #trolls world tour #trolls movie #dreamworks trolls #trolls #dw trolls #trolls 3 #fliff trolls #riff trolls #barb and floyd being best buds #trolls with paws #trolls drawing #trolls with tails #trolls art #SoundCloud

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zvtara-was-never-canon · 7 months ago

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One of the worst misreads (deliberate or not) that I've seen from Zutara fans is in Crossroads of Destiny where Aang and Katara hug after being reunited, and Aang glares at Zuko over Katara's shoulder. They legitimately claim that Aang's glare is one of jealousy, when it stems from protectiveness. Katara was left alone with the same person who's spent the majority of their journey trying to capture or kill him and his team. To say nothing of the fact that he's already kidnapped Katara before. Aang's expression is "You better not have touched a single hair on my waterbender's head or I'll blast you through a wall before you can even blink."

Aang: *has a vision of Katara being captured by the Dai Li, goes to rescue her, and discovers she's been kept in the same 'cell' as a guy that is supporting the war and genocide and that has been chasing them around the world for months*

Aang: *glares at this dude while hugging Katara*

Zutarians: God, such a jealous, possessive, misogynistic boy! If he's that bad at just 12-years-old, imagine what he'll be like as an adult! Zuko would never act like that, even though he canonically accused Mai of liking someone else right after she said was indifferent to the guy he was paranoid about.

Aang: *offers to take Katara to the North Pole so she can learn waterbending, cheers her on when she's fighting an actual misogynist, calls her sifu to show his respect, says she gives him hope, helps her blow up a factory and says she's a hero for wanting to save a village*

Zutarians: I pretend I do not see.

Zuko: I'll help murder someone in the hopes that you make you not hate me anymore after I got your best friend killed and sent an assassin after your group. Also I'll sometimes serve tea to the group because we're all friends now and I'm trying to be less of a dick.

Zutarians: MALE HOUSEWIFE, LITERALLY INVENTED FEMINISM!

Aang: *admits he is upset enough that he'd probably be in the Avatar state by that point if he hadn't blocked his chakra and talks about it with Katara in an attempt to process his emotions and so they are on the same page on their friendship/potential romance/relationship*

Zutarians: Immature, possessive crybaby that results to violence whenever he's upset! Disgraceful! Have you never heard of healthy communication?!

Zuko: *throws a guy over a table for making moves on his girlfriend, constantly lashes out at people whenever he's upset, will fist-fight anyone if given the chance, literally went up a mountain to scream at God to fucking murder him, and blasts fire at his friends when unhappy with how chill they are despite the war going on because he grew up with an abuser that completely fucked up his understanding of how and when he can or cannot express himself*

Zutarians: Awkward turtleduck, would never hurt a fly, can totally be soothed by a hug from the right person if he's upset. Totally won't snap at said right person if they try it before he breaks something - even if that something is his own bones.

Aang: *completely misreads the moment, kisses Katara, realizes he fucked up, feels bad for it and leaves her alone*

Zutarians: RAAAAAPIIIISSST!

Also Zutarians: Anyways, I started shipping this pairing when Zuko tied Katara to a tree because it inspired lots of fanfics of him forcing himself on her.

#anti zutara #pro kataang #pro aang

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autistichalsin · 1 year ago

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Okay, I’ve been a bit scared because I’ve been observing from the sidelines, but I do want you to know this isn’t a hateful or troll ask, I’m genuinely asking for clarification.

In my experience, “pro-shipping” has always meant ‘problematic shipping’, and all of the people I’ve talked to about this have said the same thing.

Am I the one who’s misconstrued? I really don’t get it.

Being called “pro-harassment” or “pro-censorship” is hurtful and confusing as all hell.

I don’t harass people for what they create. I don’t care to do that. I block and move on, and warn people if I know they could be upset by the content.

But I also don’t understand how certain things are justified.

I am personally not bothered by much, but I have watched friends and acquaintances go through visceral traumatic reactions because people have decided to air out their coping by sharing it with the public. (I.E, people who write romantic incestual fics, etc)

I don’t give a shit what people write. I really don’t. But it feels harmful to use the excuse of coping when you, in turn, could be hurting dozens of others.

Like I said, I genuinely am not trying to be hateful here. I’m confused, and still distraught that all of this is happening. I don’t think anyone deserves to be harassed. I just also don’t get the logic here.

Pro-shipping never once meant problematic shipping. It meant opposite of "anti" because antis would come and invade the tags and asks, calling them all kinds of names if they found their ships distasteful.

Sorry that being indirectly accused of supporting harassment hurt your feelings. Imagine how I felt, being DIRECTLY accused of supporting rape in real life because of my taste in fiction. You are throwing in your lot with people who can't distinguish fantasy and reality.

I don't like incest fics either, anon. They are triggering for me. So you know what I do? I don't read fics tagged as incest. For that reason, I have never been triggered by an incest fic. I suppose I would be if I read an incest fic that wasn't tagged as much, but you will never find a single pro-shipper who defends posting such content without a tag. You are responsible for your own experience online; it is your job to curate the content.

If it was just seeing that the fic exists that triggered the response, then I'm sorry to say they're still in the wrong. As a survivor, learning that triggers exist and how to navigate those triggers is on you. We are responsible for how we deal with our trauma. Your friends didn't deserve their traumas, and they deserve kindness and support, but requesting that people never be allowed to write distasteful fiction so that they don't have to be upset by the idea that someone somewhere shipped incest is not reasonable. Their feelings are valid; it's totally reasonable to be triggered, to strictly curate your online experience. It's reasonable to block everyone who ships the upsetting incest ships, to put an "incest shippers DNI" on your page, all of it. It's not reasonable to call them supporters of IRL incest or to accuse them of causing your trauma. It isn't hard at all on AO3 or Tumblr; they even give you the option to blacklist/filter out certain tags so you can avoid it without blocking users. There's easily half a dozen safeguards that already exist that are a lot less radical, a lot less likely to be weaponized against queer users, and a lot easier to enforce than trying to remove them.

Me writing fics, such as a character using kink to cope, can only harm a user who doesn't curate their feed (and who reads fics they know will trigger them, which I can only assume would then be a purposeful form of self-harm). Denying other survivors their coping mechanism, though, IS a direct form of harm. Stigmatizing recovery by saying that survivors are in any way akin to abusers for creating fiction is a direct form of harm.

It sounds to me like you've absorbed some very harmful and very narrow ideas of what recovery should and should not look like, and what is and isn't a good/valid survivor. You might want to reflect on why you're turning your attention to policing what survivors do to cope so much.

#proship #proshipper #discourse

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realian · 9 months ago

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sorry to hear you suffered from prismatic bell too, xir friends that would stick around really normalized it and liked to shout down anybody hurt by xem. prismatic bell really infested the sailor moon fandom with xir madness, and other places by abusing and being so controlling of others. even before xe converted to judaism, xe liked to speak over jumblr users as being the spokesperson extraordinaire and scholar everybody should believe and that sadly has not changed.

when we were in the yugioh fandom together xe was like 27 and I was 19 and xe would go between love-bombing me and calling me xir good friend to nitpicking every single post I made as the queer elder who knew everything and was the top authority on everything. when I was asking people about the queer relationships in zexal xe passive-aggressively replied to me insinuating that it was pedophilia and when I asked, genuinely, what xe meant (because I had not watched the show yet) and if xe considered that to be the case with yugi and atem xe blew up on me insisting I was intentionally bringing up false equivalencies to spite xir and made a post saying I supported pedophilia and being as sensitive as I was back then I cried myself to sleep while leaving xir messages apologizing and in the morning xe replied blaming me for the nightmares xe had that night and gave me details about xir assault and also accused me of anti-indigenous racism because I was kin with peridot from steven universe (I was very much still a child) anyway afterwards after claiming to be blocking me xe continued to reblog and reply to various yugioh meta posts I made either agreeing or nitpicking them but never addressing me directly, just treating them like posts that appeared on xir dash organically which might have been the case because we shared a lot of mutuals but it was still weird. anyway the pedophilia in yugioh zexal xe accused me of promoting by asking about was this:

and these days xe is a staunch advocate for underage porn fics and rpf and the like.

#its all small potatoes compared to being antipalestine ofc but i think it does demonstrate a pattern with how #xe views social relationships like a game #and like im old as xe was then right now and i would never dream of acting this way to a teenager #prismatic-bell

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rey-jake-therapist · 6 days ago

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I came across a post where some people said that we ship haladriel because we see Gal as a self insert. I really don't see it? Because Galadriel's personality is sharply defined, and she's definitely not a passive character to project personal traits on. I used to play a certain genre of Japanese games called otome, where it's a reverse harem and you play as a nameable female character with generic personality traits like kind, friendly, and gentle. This is so the player can project themselves in the heroine's place as she picks one of many guys to date. And in order to create a sense of immersion, the developers of those types of games purposely make the proxy protagonist as bland as possible.

This is why I can't fathom the argument that some people have about using Gal as a proxy because she's the furthest thing from someone without a personality. This is why Sauron and Galadriel's dynamic is so fascinating. She a personality.

If anything, if we're going to talk about characters that are born to serve as proxies to project onto, it's those who don't have a defined personality. Like one of my multishipper friends (bless her heart) told me one of the reasons she likes Cel is because he's such a blank slate that it's easy to project onto his character.

So yeah, other characters with Gal may be about proxy but I really don't see the evidence it for Galadriel and Sauron.

Antis accusing shippers of using the female character in a ship they don't like is very usual. Each time a m/f ship becomes popular, especially an ETL ship, you can be sure that you'll have people claiming that shippers care only about the male character, that they just want to fu*k the male actor, that they don't care about the female character and that's why they support 'literal abuse', yada yada.

Pay no mind, cause it's just one of the tools they use to dismiss a ship and those who like it.

By the way, I'd like to take advantage of this post to make a small announcement regarding my current position. It also follows certain complains regarding the fact that I blocked certain persons I used to interact with...

I don't block people because they have a different opinion on a ship, on a theory or a meta, mind you. I just don't. As long as you express your disagreement respectfully, we're FINE. Right now, this is about the Elrond/Sauron theory, but it could be anything else I write. I know many of you don't believe in this theory and don't want it to be true, for various reasons: you told me, and/or told others, and yet see? I haven't blocked you. And I'm damn sure I haven't insulted/bullied you either because otherwise we wouldn't be mutuals anymore.

The persons I blocked, I did because:

they shook hands with antis who posted deranged, heinous anti Haladriel pamphlets where they accused Haladriel shippers of literal crimes such as sending death threats, of throwing insults at those who disagree with their takes, and of harassment and bullying. And by "shook hand", I mean reblogging their anti Haladriel rants saying they approved and encouraged them to keep being 'brave', or leaving notes in the same spirit. These are the people who accuse Haladriel shippers of making the fandom a toxic environment but they're the ones doing exactly that, by throwing baseless accusations they saw written on an anti blog.

if it wasn't that, they accused me and the few people who developed the Elrond/Sauron theory of being 'mean', 'disrespectful', 'bullying', 'calling names', etc., without providing any receipts since, lol, they have none. We never did that. They also accused us of 'making everything about the ship' even though I and the other persons who defend this theory always specified that it was NOT about the ship at all, and we took a quite long time EXPLAINING the theory and why it made sense to us, from a non shipping POV.

So basically, I blocked people who argued in my back that I was just a stupid shipper who don't care about the show at all, and that I was a terrible, evil person who harass, insult and bully anyone who disagrees with me.

All that to say: if you only disagree with my posts but I never see you badmouthing me or shippers in general because you want to show how different and better you are, we're cool, really. But if tomorrow you log in to Tumblr and find out I blocked you, it's probably because you got caught doing just that. And the fact that we exchanged jokes and agreed on Saurondriel in the past isn't going to change it. I don't need hypocrites in my life.

You encouraged hate spreading on my person and on people I like not just as shippers but as persons, you never, ever reached out to me to tell me you didn't like my tone, or that I made you uncomfortable for some reason, and I should just ignore it, pretend I didn't catch that? Really? I'm just a delusional shipper who makes everything about her ship and doesn't understand what she's watching, anyway, so why would you even care? Seriously, if I block you I'm doing you a favor... You won't see my shitty takes anymore, huzzah!

I have to say I live by the sentence: "A friend of my enemy is my enemy but an enemy of my enemy is my friend". Especially the first part.

I of course won't tag the ship or the show for this post, so I doubt that many people will see it, and it's not the point really. The point is, regarding antis I think there's only one way to go: block, and move on. We're feeding them by giving them attention. They live for it.

Enjoy your things, ignore them and you'll be the ones having fun while they'll be the ones crying because they're screaming in the void :)

#ask answered #fandom wank #shipping wank

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longing-for-rain · 9 months ago

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On sexual abuse, trauma, and recovery

I’ve wanted to post something like this for a long time, because of things people have said directly to me and other things I’ve seen. It strikes me how people who haven’t experienced this really don’t understand how it feels, both in the moment and in the aftermath.

The reason I finally decided to make this post is actually on a more positive note—I’m writing this just after I’ve had my first real date in years. My first real date I’ve had the courage to go on after escaping a sexually abusive situation I endured for nearly a year during the COVID pandemic. I’m writing this to say that even though what I’m talking about it going to sound bleak and disturbing, it doesn’t end there. We can still move on. I used to think I would rather die than be looked at sexually again. I didn’t even want to go out in public. But I’m sharing because no matter how bleak what I’m about to say sounds, I’m still here. We don’t have to stay trapped; we don’t have to stay silent.

I’ll put the rest below, and please, read at your own risk because I will be discussing heavy topics such as sexual abuse and the aftermath of that.

I’ve learned a lot over the past few years, but probably the most important thing I’ve learned is that the idea that recovery is quick and easy is a myth. The idea that it’s easy to get justice when you’re abused is a myth. Some people will probably get angry at me for saying this, but in all honesty, I wish I’d been warned. That’s the part I truly wasn’t prepared for—how isolated I would feel in the aftermath, and how the people and systems that promised to always support victims failed me. I’m tired of being told that it’s easy to simply report and move on. It’s never that simple.

The first time it happened, I was naïve and drunk and blamed myself. I just blocked it out. By the time it fully hit home that I’d been assaulted, it was too late. I had no evidence of the event and knew nothing would come of it if I reported it. So I didn’t. It was painful enough that it happened. I couldn’t handle also being accused of being a lying whore trying to ruin an “innocent” man’s life for no reason. That’s how women like me are treated when we try to say anything.

That was right before COVID. During COVID, I was mostly online and that’s how I got into fandom again. I found comfort there, especially after what I’d been through, but unfortunately I repeated the same mistake I’d made the first time—I was naïve, I was somewhere unfamiliar, and way too vulnerable. Someone took advantage of that.

I don’t really want to go into details, but I was sexually groomed and abused over the course of about a year. I didn’t realize it at first, because that’s the cruel thing about grooming. When it starts slowly, you don’t realize what’s happening to you until it’s too late. I spent hours a day at times on the phone with this person. What I thought was “advice” was really just her pushing me into places (sexually) that she knew I wasn’t comfortable with. To this day I still don’t know if it was because she was interested in my sexually or if she just liked the idea of “corrupting” a much younger woman into destroying herself just like she had.

But at the time, I was blind to it. I thought it was just a toxic friendship. I felt hurt and traumatized but didn’t understand how to express why I was feeling the way I was. I didn’t yet recognize it as abuse, and even the slightest hint of that was crushed by my abuser and her friends. She knew the community better than me and how to manipulate it—how to make me look crazy for trying to come to terms with what happened. So ultimately, I simply blocked her, deleted every account I’d been associated with her on, and thought it would end there.

At the time it seemed like the best option. But later, I realized what I’d done. Those conversations were evidence, and I’d gotten rid of them all. So now I’m suffering the same fate I did the first time. I have no evidence. I have to deal with what happened, and I can’t prove it.

I did try to speak up, eventually, as many abused women do. I got a taste of why rape has a 2% conviction rate, why this is a crime that goes so often unpunished. People who barely knew the situation got involved, because they were friends of friends of the abuser. I was called things like “shit stirrer” and accused of “disrupting the community” for trying to say something. I lost friends I thought I could trust, either because they sided with my abuser or because they were too cowardly to say anything. And nobody has ever apologized for anything—not one. I’ll be honest. I seriously considered suicide multiple times and attempted once. The aftermath was even worse for me than the abuse in some ways. I was still living under the lie that as a victim, I’d have support and understanding from my community when in reality it was the opposite. Sometimes I feel like if it ever happened to me again, I would actually end my life. I don’t know if I could go through this whole process again.

So yes, that’s why it’s isolating. That’s why it’s so painful; why “just report it” is bullshit. If you haven’t been through something like this, don’t even pretend to understand. You will lose friends. You will be isolated and ostracized from communities you thought could support you. You will watch people repost essays about supporting victims on their social media turn around and blame you for your own abuse. You will watch people use sexual harassment and abuse in ship wars about fictional characters and then participate in your real life abuse. People will make fun of your sexual abuse. People will tell you your sexual abuse is hot. People will tell you that they understand, then side with your abuser anyway, after you’ve already opened up to them.

That’s the reality. Why is it this way? I don’t know. I think a lot of it is deeply ingrained misogyny, which is why I think it’s so so important to recognize and call out the misogyny intertwined in our culture and communities. It’s what creates the environment that allows this to happen and isolated victims from each other.

This is rambling, I know, but I’m getting frustrated by some of these anons spouting off about something they clearly know nothing about. Stop treating it like some easy thing that just goes away and that people actually care about sexual trauma and victims. They don’t.

#tw sa vent #tw sa #personal #tw suicide mention #tw misogyny #feminism

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will80sbyers · 1 month ago

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The anti-Trump Johnny Depp fans here are sadly the younger equivalents of the absolutely toxic "Johnny Depp Relatives" and similar Facebooks filled with boomers that organize raids on younger feminists and accuse them of being too woke. Even the most left-leaning women there compare Amber Heard to Trump and say that they're the same kind of narcissist gaslighters, and poor Johnny should be a symbol of truth and justice being buried. Sick fucks.

They make no sense whatsoever to me, they support one rapist but are against the other when they are exactly the same type of person!!!

I'm proud to never have fallen for his shitty hate campaign, at least I can say that, I've followed the story from day one, always on her side, watched the hate campaign unfold on twitter when I had a personal anonymous account where I was with the #istandwithamberheard crowd, followed the trialS even reading the freaking documents, listened to every single audio etc and even had multiple falling out with friends that supported that walking scum against all reason... In reality to understand who was the abuser you only need common sense but clearly it's not as diffused as I thought

So yeah, you have no idea how much I hate him and seeing all the people that still support him is insane to me. I'm dead serious if you like j*hnnydeepshit... BLOCK ME! I don't want you as a follower or near me.

I'll never forget how the whole internet was acting in those months and if you STILL haven't done even a minimum of research at this point and can't see how y'all fell for blatant DARVO do not speak to me

Actually go and study and research and be humble so you don't do that again to another woman or person at minimum!!!

#anti johnny depp #ask #I used to be a fan of that sack of shit !#fuck him and all of you that made fun of Amber's rape

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fromtenthousandfeet · 6 months ago

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"...[Jimin's success] which makes everyone's peaches burn..."

Well, what a lovely--and satisfying--image.

Thank you for sharing posts like these from Twitter for those of us who don't use/avoid it. (like me!)

I don't know about other platforms, but I've noticed this is how the discussions go down on Reddit:

A. Person brags about JK's dominance. Everywhere, including SK and the U.S. Shades Jimin's success, because of the freefall after the #1 or because Spotify isn't a reliable indicator or because JK has gp name recognition.

B. 2nd person points out that JK did receive a lot more promo than anyone else, particularly Jimin. Lists all the things Jimin did NOT receive.

A. 1st person (pre-SGMB) That was Jimin's CHOICE. He wanted a traditional SK roll-out. He was on Beat Coin, so that proves they received the same amount of promotion!

1st person (post-SGMB) But it got more promotion than NGL! And Scooter had NOTHING to do with Seven! (He has a BB award that says otherwise.) Taylor Swift gets SO MUCH more promotion! (huh?) OMG, you are an akgae!

I think the scandal surrounding NJ, the company mismanaging the launch of RM's album, and then obviously doing next to nothing to promote MUSE has broken a dam. No BTS fan or solo needs to take this sh*t anymore. I can guarantee you that I won't.

The enemy here is not any single member. The enemy is the guy who built a freaking empire off their hard work, their sacrifice, and their talent. The petty little man who uses them as a cash cow to fund his projects and thinks they can be easily replicated with the right "formula."

Furthermore, we need to ask ourselves why Jungkook fans are so insistent that we disbelieve the evidence of our own eyes and instead parrot their claims that JK didn't receive any special help from anyone--least of all Scooter! Why do they defend the company so hard? Why are they so dismissive of the other members--particularly Jimin--as to deny them a fair shot?

We get accused of being akgaes against one member. But aren't they akgaes against ALL the members?

#JiminStrong #Jimin

It's a pity the term gaslighting is used so frequently and freely, to the point of being meaningless. But what's going on with pushing JK's solo career so hard, combined with the absolute insistence by JJKs that he hasn't received every possible advantage to succeed is gaslighting. And the fact that both the company and fans engage in this gaslighting with equal glee is enough to make a person mad. If you've ever been on the receiving end of gaslighting/narcissistic abuse, then you know what I'm talking about.

This is a good video about gaslighting, even though it's a bit long. Recognizing the signs of gaslighting can save you so much pain (don't ask me how I know!), Many of the behaviors she describes will sound familiar.

youtube

There's tons of evidence to show that Jimin has stood out from the start - Gallup polls, brand reputation rankings, solo songs charting on US Spotify charts, and so on. The proof is everywhere, and yet fans are told that it was and always will be Jungkook who is the superstar. Gaslighting is a tactic used by narcissists and cult leaders to control people. Usually the best and only true solution to this abuse is to have no contact with the abuser. The second best thing, as she mentions in the video, is to find supportive people who haven't been swayed by the abuser - people who still understand reality.

This platform is a place to find people who haven't fallen for the lies. And increasingly, as we see on Twitter and other platforms, more people are waking up to Jimin's unequal treatment and saying so publicly. I think you're right that we're seeing a critical mass of PJMs and few ARMYs standing up for what's right. Or maybe I'm delusional because I've got damn near every JJK blocked on Twitter.

If anyone feels compelled to engage with JJK gaslighters, the less said the better because no amount of evidence will sway them. One word response like "incorrect" or "no" are more effective than long explanations.

We know HYBE uses a number of techniques to gaslight fans into believing Jungkook is miles above the other six members, but it's strange how many fans are equally committed to denying reality and tearing solo fans of the others members down. The armchair psychologist in me thinks this has to do with a group of people who have low self esteem and get a vicarious boost of confidence from Jungkook's supposed success/dominance. People with a good self image/mental health aren't going to spend their days on the internet trolling others and insisting that Jungkook is second coming of Michael Jackson.

At some point we need to talk about how Big Hit has actively cultivated codependency within the fan base and how they use that to milk fans out of their time and money. I really want to dig into this more, because it's unfair to BTS fans and to the members themselves.

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beautifulpersonpeach · 2 years ago

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I'm very late to the party it seems, because only after getting more weird asks than usual, and a few explicitly naming the bloggers involved did I learn today of the ugliness that went down a short while ago. Storm has already said her bit and I respect her choice to quietly step back so this isn't me resurrecting a dead horse to bludgeon. I'm writing this because I've been on the receiving end of this sort of campaign before, have seen it play out too many times with the same types of people, and because I want it on record somewhere that I don't know anybody here personally (a conscious choice) but that all my dealings with Storm showed her to be a forthright and thorough person. And even if she wasn't, that wouldn't excuse any of this bullshit.

Normally if this were a private matter I'd keep my opinion to myself after all I don't know any of you. But the moment anybody brings this shit into the public then anybody gets to have a go at it. We've all seen these sorts of takedown posts before, and I'm not always opposed to them because sometimes they're for good reason. If someone is actually racist, or idk a serial killer, it's good for the public to know that shit. Differing opinions on jikook being real, someone cussing you out, or blocking liberally do not meet that threshold for me, but everyone's different.

When I see these takedowns happen, including when it happened to me, I've observed it usually involves HCP personalities in this blogging space that take certain actions extremely personally and nurse grievances until it festers into fuel for drama that they gratify in because in their heads they believe they’ve been scorned and therefore are right. They usually think in a very tribal sense, rope other people in and force people into camps of friend, neutrals, and foe, and wear their egos on their sleeves.

In my case, I'd only been blogging here actively for less than 5 months before a pair of bloggers and their followers accused me of feuding with them, using them for clout, and that my opinions on my blog somehow prevented them from running their own blog and speaking freely. They'd been nursing that grievance for months with the followers who felt as they did, while I was oblivious, blogging with abandon so to speak, even interacting with them, until the call-out post. And my followers had been receiving messages about how much of a horrible bitch I am (I mean, I can be a bitch but hadn't been to anyone here at that point).

Thankfully I hadn't been blogging for long so most people could go through my blog to read what I actually think, see how I actually engage, and decide for themselves if anything those bloggers said made any sense. Storm has a longer blogging history and the campaign against her more widespread since she was very active in jikook spaces, plus she legit needs a break so I get why she's decided to take one now. I still get weird asks from people who claim to be devoted to those bloggers and that shit, that behaviour, that mentality is ugly. The point here is too many people take shit personally and then try to make it everyone's problem. Some HCP people can't help it if they have those sorts of personalities, but that doesn't excuse it. Seeing shit like this just kills the vibe for anyone who doesn't get high off that nonsense, and it further frays whatever community people are trying to build here. I usually keep my distance but I admire the people who have tried, even if only in public, to connect with people here and build community. Not everyone has to like everyone else, but there's enough abuse and BS to jokers from outside the community and fandom, for anyone to think their momentary satisfaction is worth poisoning this space, or character assassinating someone else.

Apparently anyone who has voiced support for Storm, has themselves become a target, and that in itself should tell you how weird this all is lmao.

For the people flooding my inbox who think we're in kindergarten and I should declare where my loyalties lie, get a fucking grip. If you have a problem with my arguments or views, I'm always happy to engage on that basis. But if you think me liking Storm and interacting with her posts is reason enough for you to act a fool in my inbox, you must be high out of your goddamn mind. Take my advice and block me because nobody here has time for all that. Vous pouvez vous attendre à être complètement ignoré par moi à partir de ce moment. J'ai entendu dire que le sexe anal peut soulager la pression sur la tête, vous pouvez l'essayer et me dire si cela fonctionne. Ça, je le posterai sur le blog. Tout le reste sera supprimé.

Borahae. 💜

#small psa

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melaninpov · 1 year ago

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My Final Thoughts…

*excuse the grammatical errors*

This is the result of trying to force something that God doesn’t have in store for you. The moment he saw that she wasn’t on his level he should’ve chunked the deuces. The moment he realized they weren’t equally yolked he should’ve closed that door. The moment he knew she wasn’t following the plan, he should’ve called the relationship off. But no he was so desperate for love that he was willing to settle with her and now look. Im sure she still has a career while his is in the toilet. All of his hard work, his talent, his accomplishments, just overshadowed by one night.

Curse me if you want. Harass me if you want. Call me out of my name. Please exemplify the abusive behavior you accuse Majors of having. I don’t give a f**k because deep down inside I don’t believe that he’s an abuser. She said out of her own mouth that he’s never abused her before that night. And all I saw that night was him shoving her back into a car after she was harassing him for his property. As someone who has survived physical, emotional, and sexual abuse throughout the years, for me to believe that he’s this abuser people claim him to be, I will need to see some evidence. And I’m not talking about out of context texts with the alleged victim’s messages redacted (so prosecution can paint the picture they want). I’m not talking about an alleged illegal audio recording that proves nothing but he expects her to act accordingly in public instead of a drunken fool. I’m not talking about alleged exe’s who made claims under anonymity without proof (btw isn’t it weird that the person who claimed to have spoken to them people and convinced them to go to Rolling Stone deleted all tweets mentioning it 🤔). I’m talking about hard 👏🏾 core 👏🏾 evidence 👏🏾 that speaks for itself. And I have yet to see that. Not because I’m a fan. Not because I don’t believe women. Not because I don’t believe victims. But because it hasn’t come out yet. If it even exists. And until then I’m going to continue to support Mr. Majors, and whoever doesn’t like it can just keep scrolling. Simple.

It’s going to take time but it’s not over for him yet. I pray he gets help for his traumas. And honestly, even though I don’t like the fact that Grace pretended to be unconscious after admitting in text to her friend that she didn’t remember how she got her bruises but the moment she saw police she lied and immediately accused Majors; or how she used suicide as a manipulation tactic to keep a man who was allegedly cheating; or how she lied and said she was afraid of him even though she chased him for blocks, assaulted him, used his credit cards, and refused to leave his penthouse. I pray she gets the help she needs. There’s a reason she drinks a lot, a reason she’s codependent on a partner and I hope she heals from whatever trauma that has plagued her.

Judging by his attorney’s words, I sense an appeal coming. And I fully support that. I also believe that nothing and no one can stop what God has planned for you. With that being said, Jonathan Majors will be just fine.

All I’ve asked during this time is that people wait for him to have his day in court, and even though I disagree with the verdict, I understand that we have our own opinions so now it’s fair game 🤷🏽‍♀️. To the Tumblr bloggers who I’ve gotten close to on this topic, don’t be a stranger 🤗

#jonathan majors #melaninpov #grace jabbari

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nothing0fnothing · 7 months ago

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when i post things about narc abuse on my blog i occasionally get ppl being like "don't classify all ppl with npd as abusers!!!" when i didn't say that? tbh on the whole "is narc abuse ableist" thing i defer to my best friend's wisdom, he recently graduated with a BA in psychology (im so proud!!!) and he said smth to the effect of "if you're trying to diagnose them with npd to demonize them then yeah not good but also narcissistic is a word independent of that diagnosis so context is important" its like how ppl without depression can still say theyre depressed or someone without anxiety can say theyre anxious yknow? context matters! i call my parents narc abusers bc it "fits the bill" as in from the medical studies ive read from professionals, all this criteria fits their behavior, not bc i actually believe they have npd. their actions are narcissistic but actually having npd is a question i can't answer.

the point being: im sure you get a lot more comments like that on your blog than my own. the few i get make me upset for a while bc it feels so invalidating (or maybe im just chronically online lmao.) how do you deal with it all? i'm sure the answer is just "block" but does it go deeper? it must feel awful to be called ableist when all you've done is try to spread awareness about a very real thing that happened to you. i could use some of your strength bc your blog is still going strong even amidst the hate 🙏

This ask was actually so lovely to read. You're eloquent and educated and if you'd like to dm me please do any time I'd love to chat with you and check out your blog.

You're absolutely right about narcissism and NPD. Narcissism is a personality trait. One that most healthy people posses. You can't diagnose someone a narcissist, because "narcissist" isn't a disorder.

There's a misconception that NPD is the clinical diagnosis for excessive narcissism. Actually, the diagnostic criteria for NPD is very clear that one does not even have to have narcissistic traits to be diagnosed with it. And it has nothing to say about abusing others, so how recognising abuse is considered a drive by diagnosis of NPD is beyond me.

Saying your abuser is narcissistic doesn't mean you think your abuser has this specific disorder. We know this so to us it's common sense. Unfortunately common sense isn't so common, especially in the narcissistic positivity side of this app.

It's so easy to feel provoked when you know all this, and you're educated and you just want to make content that will connect you to a community of other survivors. Only for some asshole who barely knows what NPD is, decides they're going to make your trauma all about it. It's not chronically online to be made upset by behaviour like that. People like to tell us the Internet isn't real, but when it's our connection to communities of people who share our niche experiences, it is real. Don't undermine yourself when you feel upset like that. Words can hurt anyone, even when they come from an ignorant low life who thinks they can clean up the internet, one trauma support blog at a time.

Me personally? I like to wait to hit the block button till after I've goaded them into an absolute breakdown. It entertains me to no end to watch them rage like toddlers as they start to realise they know next to nothing on a topic I've absolutely schooled them in. It sounds cruel but I have no sympathy for arseholes, especially when they're intentionally spamming random accusations and slurs on my vent posts in hopes they can get a rise out of a vulnerable person. I might make a "narcissists rage at facts and logic" compilation for my own amusement... But that's not really helpful advice to anyone who isn't a bitter hag, like me.

When I first started on this platform I kept my most common response paragraphs in my notes and clipboard to paste and post when I got the same asks day in and day out. It really helped me to reply in a measured way I knew was proof read and edited without having to exert the mental energy it takes to type out a whole reply every time you get one. This of course is if you're so inclined to engage with them.

I also have a limit for how long I'll engage. Usually my rule is I stop responding when they stop asking questions, because my blog is here to be supportive, not to receive criticism from the pro narcissist community. When they stop being coherent and and start being belligerent, that's when will always I block them and that's usually the end of it.

I did have one guy who I'd blocked on 3 or 4 seperate accounts for being belligerent. He was making new accounts every time to spam my asks and reblogs with increasingly ridiculous, heinous and obviously ragebaity shit. I just reposted his replies onto reddit where the crowd is, let's say, more critical of behavior like that. He had an epic meltdown and I've never seen his username ever again. If you're not comfortable doing that, let me know and I'll do it for you. You'd be doing me a favour because I'm a little shit and I love to watch the fireworks.

My last bit of advice to you is to make mutuals and make them friends. I struggle with being sociable in any consistent way, but a few messages back and forth to foster a good relationship with the community is so helpful. It makes your blog feel like an actual supportive environment. It puts your content across the dashboards of more sympathetic people and less losers thanks to the algorithm. Most importantly, when you have friends on this app they're more likely to back you up when an absolute cretin who snuck onto earth decides to pick on you for no reason. Having that back up is invaluable to blogs like ours and it's so important to have it when you're just starting out, especially if you're already getting the narc apologists in your notifs.

That being said, I genuinely do hope you reach out to me. I'd love to be able to send you some more of my strength when you need it. 💛🤎💛

#narcissistic abuse #narcissistic people #narcissist #surviving narcissism #raised by narcissists #narcissistic abuse support #narcissistic abuse awareness #narcissistic abuse recovery #narcissistic abuse survivor #trauma support #mental health recovery #mental health support #ptsd support #narcissism is not a disability #narcissism is not npd

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