#bitch what the fuck is being an adult!!!

[moonssugar]

we need essays on the politics of adulthood and the politics of childhood because none of this makes any fucking sense

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 266

Back on my Danny & Ras frienemies/rivals/maybe-lovers-nobody-can-tell-their-signals-are-very-mixed train. 

See, Danny has gone through time a lot. Often. It comes with being Clockwork’s charge-son-thing and honestly he finds it fun. And several times he’s used this time travelling to get some training in. Enter Ras, stage left, also a teen at the time and also learning swordsmanship from the same person. 

And they… utterly despise each other. They would kill the other for an apple slice, if the other one would die! But also, only they can kill the other, as it is obviously their right! 

And well, they keep running into each other. It has been a hundred years, surely the other would die by now? But of course their rival would live through utter spite. Probably to spite them specifically. 

The amount of times they have ended up sparring- trying to kill each other or not- the moment they see the other is actually ridiculous. But time is also passing. And… Danny understands, not having another to talk about things people are forgetting, or have already forgotten. 

How they ended up actually talking without a murder attempt was a long story that included a demon, a dragon, a pair of fae, some bandits, and a lot of alcohol, but it happened. And then it happens again. And again, and now it’s just kind of normal to share a drink after their spars, talking about things that no longer exist, and things they miss. 

Sure Danny can go back in time again, but he knows better than to do it willy nilly. He’s matured, he’s been an adult for a hundred years now, he knows there’s consequences for messing with time, even with Clockwork’s blessings. 

The first time they got married was technically for an undercover assassination. Well, Ras was there to assassinate someone, Danny was there to grab an artifact that should Not be in the realm of the living. And they got divorced after, it was fine. 

They just, also got married again when they met a few years later, for another job. And… okay, so maybe they have gotten married over a dozen times now and only divorced like half of those times. Half of those were for the bit or while drunk! 

And even if technically they’re married or shared a bed, it’s not like they're exclusive! As Ras’ daughters’ existences attest to (adopted in one case or not). They don’t exactly have a label for their relationship, despite others asking for one or trying to put a name to it themselves. 

Now Danny knows Ras isn’t exactly a good dude, or at least on the side of ‘good’ as he’s a literal assassin. But he also knows that good? Bad? Rather relative. He had gotten labeled as a villain when he was just trying to help all that time ago after all, and really who was he to tell someone else how to live their life? 

Which brings him to now, where he’s run into his old frienemy-rival and his youngest daughter. Who has a braindead teenager and a small toddler. Which is fine, really- but also, Talia dear, why are you using a brain dead teenager to guard your three year old son? 

…

Okay, Talia dear, Ras (Derogatory), why are you using your brain dead son and grandson to guard your younger son and grandson? Do you not have the Pits, which you were soo proud about Ras? Yes, he will spar with you, but for Realms’ sake, heal, what’s his name? Ah yes, go heal Jason and he’ll actually stick around for a few years, deal? Good. 

[toytulini]

listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.

yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?

maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".

get a better joke

[animentality]

the trumpers are out here insisting that trump won because those uppity city liberals are so arrogant and snooty looking down on them with their superiority complexes, and they lost the election because they refused to pander to the beer guzzlers and gun toting rednecks of this proud nation, well.

I'm just gonna say something even white trailer trash like them can understand...

with all due respect... fuck your feelings.

dumbass hicks.

[greenerteacups]

Hi GT,

Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but I absolutely love the recs you've given (you've introduced me to tomione, and I love it!) and I was wondering if it's possible to give you some recs in return? There are some books and fics that definitely have dramione / got vibes, and I was wondering if I could share them with you!

So glad you've enjoyed them! Feel free to rec me anything you want. I've read most of the classic recs in terms of fic and adjacent content (Cruel Prince et al), but I'll try anything that's well-written. My tastes run towards weird and/or audaciously creative stuff, and I can forgive a lot of weaknesses in plot on the grounds of (1) ambition or (2) character work. My turnoffs are instalove, protagonists who can't fail, and most Y/A (I'm not a hater, I swear, I just need characters who can say "fuck" when their leg gets chopped off.)

I'm also a fan of weird and fucked-up dynamics.(Wuthering Heights was my favorite book for a while, and as a teenager I wrote an AU in which the book ends on a long sex scene where Heathcliff fucks Cathy's ghost and then immediately gets murdered by Catherine 2.) Obviously, I am very normal.

[evansbby]

bro now it’s actually pizsing me off the hate this poor young woman is getting for playing Juliet in some random play in London like not even a Hollywood movie but a random play 😭😭

[nixie-deangel]

@tothepayne who asked for 💔💔✍️:

💔 icemav break up / icedad

Sighing, Tom drops back down into his seat and stares at Bradley for a moment with a careful expression on his face. “Kiddo, it’s not that… simple. Not between Mav and I.” Blinking, Bradley furrows his brow, purses his lips, and stares back at Tom from across the small dining table. “But you still love him? And-and he still loves you?” “Unfortunately, it’s not always that simple or easy. Not when it comes to adult relationships,” he says. Because it’s true. It’s not always that simple or easy. Especially not with the situation he and Mav were in in regards to Bradley.

✍🏻 insecure bradley - hangster

And though he knows it’s going to hurt. It’s going to carve a gorge out of his heart and chest, he still can’t help doing it. Giving his all and more. Wringing every sound, feeling, of pleasure for Jake as he takes him apart and apart. Coaxing out his first orgasm, then a second and third before he finally lets himself fall over the edge and follow Jake into oblivion.

Make Nixie Write!

[riisume]

Today was an absolute dumpster fire at home. I can't wait for my roommate's ex to move out after what happened today holy shit...

I don't have many people on my shit list, but after today, she's definitely on there. The audacity of her saying some of the shit she said to me-

I wish I could go back to NYC and stay with my parents for a month or two and visit homies... but I don't want to give her that power.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

i’m obsessed with those “itkg finds out gojo raised megumi” fics & now i’m just giggling at the idea of like every month they find out megumi is someone’s boy. it could be yuuta. shoko. maki. gojo. etc.

kamo is fighting to get megumi as his boy but :( he’s just not valid enough. yuuji is seething at the idea that everyone get to claim megumi as their own in some fucking way but meanwhile, he can barely find the courage to hold his fucking hand.

kugisaki is just wondering if megumi is like the village baby. like does she need to step up? she absolutely will because she needs a doll to practice makeup on & etc. gotta put those lashes to good use.

(also the idea of gojo using jujutsu terms to describe the most parental things like sex. god i don’t even wanna imagine his period talk.)

Megumi had to give the period talk.

It was the second worst and most painful talk of his life. It used to be the first, and then Gojo decided that Megumi needed to learn about safe sex and the magic of his changing body. megumi almost killed them both just to end that conversation.

Tsumiki was unfortunate enough to have hit her period before everyone else in her class, and she was always kind of isolated from the rest of the kids because of Everything with her home life. She wasn't inviting people over for sleepovers, and she didn't really go on them herself. Her mom was completely checked out of her life from a young age. And I head canon her as someone who tends to neglect her own needs in favor of everyone else's. So she had absolutely no idea what was happening when her period came. She hadn't heard of it at school yet. She hadn't heard of it from her mom. She hadn't thought to look up what exactly happened in puberty for herself yet. She thought she was bleeding internally. She thought she was dying. It was a point of hysteria.

It did not help that Shoko had spent years lying wildly about what happened on a girl's "time of the month" to Gojo and Geto. To this day, Megumi has no idea what Gojo thought happened on a woman's period, but it sounds suspiciously like lycanthropy. As a result, Gojo also thought she was bleeding internally. He almost teleported her to Shoko for healing. He was about to take her to a hospital.

Luckily for them both, Megumi secretly loves his sister and had very quietly prepared for this eventuality while hoping beyond hope that it would never come to be.

He didn't want to do it. He just knew that Tsumiki wouldn't think of herself and that she didn't have a mom to walk her through this. At least for him, he knew that Gojo had lived through the amab puberty experience. He assumed that Shoko would step up to the plate when the time came, but Shoko was more of a wine aunt than a mom figure, and he just wanted a contingency if she didn't.

He read a book on what to expect with puberty for afab reproductive systems. He immediately returned this book to the library. He said nothing about any of this to anyone ever. He shut the fuck up about it for years. He was happy not talking about it.

Until Tsumiki got her period. And it was treated like cause for a hospital visit instead of the corner store.

Megumi calmed them both down. He told them that they were going to shut up, sit down, and listen. Absolutely no eye contact would be allowed for the duration of this conversation. They would never speak of this again. There would be no questions at the end. Everyone shut the fuck up and listen.

It was a comprehensive and medically accurate explanation. There were diagrams pulled up from the internet. He gave one (1) stiff hug to his sister and informed her that if they ever spoke of this again, he would have no choice but to kill them both. Then, he went upstairs and tried to forget it ever happened.

legitimately every time they turn around, they find out that Megumi is someone else's Boy. First it's Yuuta, and that's a crisis and a half--mostly for Yuuji, who seethes with a quiet and unexpected jealousy. Then it's Maki, who very unexpectedly fussed over Megumi's injuries after a mission and lectured him about being careful before sending him to bed. Then it's Gojo and finding out that Megumi is literally his boy, like he's his legal adoptive son. Then it's Panda and Inumaki, who have decided that the Village Baby custody agreement that only exists in their head means it's Their Right to harass any of Megumi's potential romantic partners, leading to a very confusing conversation with Itadori, who was still buffering with his gay awakening and hadn't realized he was a potential partner.

It's not Kamo. It's never Kamo.

(Kamo: he could be my boy

Maki, not missing a beat: he really couldn't

Kamo: he could--

Maki: he never will be)

Nobara doesn't have Yuuji's homosexual drive to make Megumi Her Boy but she does have a rapidly developing codependency with him and a healthy sense of competition. Fuck it, he's her boy now. She'll do it better than everyone else. She's got Her Boys and none of them go outside without the other two anymore. They're a Unit. they're gay idiots but they're her gay idiots. Fuck off.

Megumi absolutely has no awareness of any of this happening and would not be happy if he found out it was.

[tariah23]

I rly don’t see how ppl be 20+ shipping kids anymore tbh… like, it’s so rampant and I don’t see the appeal to it anymore being as tho I’m in my late 20’s.

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

JoJo Siwa doesn’t deserve all the hate (and homophobia) she’s getting for her style and music; but she does deserve scrutiny for defending Colleen Ballinger and being both active and complicit in abuse that happened on her TV show. Like the girl has been under the public eye in unhealthy environments all her life; cut her some slack — not too much; she’s still a responsible adult — but if you’re going to dogpile her, then at least dogpile her for the right reasons. Jesus Fucking Christ.

[fleshdyk3]

god i fucking hate my dad

[kaiserkisser]

today is such a stark contrast to yesterday in how much i fucking hate today (vent/rant in tags bc i forgor to do it on my vent one)

[goldkirk]

My five happy things for the day

• paper that has a good feeling texture

• things not feeling like an emergency EVERY second of the day, only part of the time

• the fact that these cheapo stamp ink pads from Walmart a few years ago somehow still have a bit of functioning ink not dried out?

• I’m able to track and retain conversations for longer periods of time again, I’m finally finally finally feeling some progress

• putting on a warm hoodie or coat when feeling chilled

[heeracha]

i should be sttudying what the fuck

[elevenenthusiast]

The last thing i expected from this post was people being a bunch of cruel assholes in the quotes like what the actual fuck?