#bitch what the fuck is being an adult!!!
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we need essays on the politics of adulthood and the politics of childhood because none of this makes any fucking sense
#bitch what the fuck is being an adult!!!#tf you mean the ādeath of childhoodā was it old age or was she murdered?#so much of adulthood is tied to capitalism which is disconnected from reality#so how are you supposed to make sense of that. being adult = 9 to 5 job and rent??#and how children are marginalized by their society a concept that is brand new to me and so interesting#what does it mean!!! what does it mean!!#its like child and adult are just marketable categories with no real cohesion and thats it#and āchildā is the natural inferior to āadultā and everyone must rush to be āadultā#can we build a world where this actually makes sense and its like. oppressive and eternally confusing#childhood#adulthood#social class
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Prompt 266
Back on my Danny & Ras frienemies/rivals/maybe-lovers-nobody-can-tell-their-signals-are-very-mixed train.Ā
See, Danny has gone through time a lot. Often. It comes with being Clockworkās charge-son-thing and honestly he finds it fun. And several times heās used this time travelling to get some training in. Enter Ras, stage left, also a teen at the time and also learning swordsmanship from the same person.Ā
And theyā¦ utterly despise each other. They would kill the other for an apple slice, if the other one would die! But also, only they can kill the other, as it is obviously their right!Ā
And well, they keep running into each other. It has been a hundred years, surely the other would die by now? But of course their rival would live through utter spite. Probably to spite them specifically.Ā
The amount of times they have ended up sparring- trying to kill each other or not- the moment they see the other is actually ridiculous. But time is also passing. Andā¦ Danny understands, not having another to talk about things people are forgetting, or have already forgotten.Ā
How they ended up actually talking without a murder attempt was a long story that included a demon, a dragon, a pair of fae, some bandits, and a lot of alcohol, but it happened. And then it happens again. And again, and now itās just kind of normal to share a drink after their spars, talking about things that no longer exist, and things they miss.Ā
Sure Danny can go back in time again, but he knows better than to do it willy nilly. Heās matured, heās been an adult for a hundred years now, he knows thereās consequences for messing with time, even with Clockworkās blessings.Ā
The first time they got married was technically for an undercover assassination. Well, Ras was there to assassinate someone, Danny was there to grab an artifact that should Not be in the realm of the living. And they got divorced after, it was fine.Ā
They just, also got married again when they met a few years later, for another job. Andā¦ okay, so maybe they have gotten married over a dozen times now and only divorced like half of those times. Half of those were for the bit or while drunk!Ā
And even if technically theyāre married or shared a bed, itās not like they're exclusive! As Rasā daughtersā existences attest to (adopted in one case or not). They donāt exactly have a label for their relationship, despite others asking for one or trying to put a name to it themselves.Ā
Now Danny knows Ras isnāt exactly a good dude, or at least on the side of āgoodā as heās a literal assassin. But he also knows that good? Bad? Rather relative. He had gotten labeled as a villain when he was just trying to help all that time ago after all, and really who was he to tell someone else how to live their life?Ā
Which brings him to now, where heās run into his old frienemy-rival and his youngest daughter. Who has a braindead teenager and a small toddler. Which is fine, really- but also, Talia dear, why are you using a brain dead teenager to guard your three year old son?Ā
ā¦
Okay, Talia dear, Ras (Derogatory), why are you using your brain dead son and grandson to guard your younger son and grandson? Do you not have the Pits, which you were soo proud about Ras? Yes, he will spar with you, but for Realmsā sake, heal, whatās his name? Ah yes, go heal Jason and heāll actually stick around for a few years, deal? Good.Ā
#DCxDP#DPxDC#Prompts#Deadly Decisions#Danny is Not Ghost King & he doesnāt want to be#Danny isnāt from the same timeline as DC but he hops around so many that heās formed a few favorites#You Know the bats are going to go crazy searching for some sort of proof of Dannyās existence when they finally communicate w/ each other#Why yes Danny is an adult lol (he is also tall but has body more like his mom)#Yes Sam showed him how to do makeup & it was a bonding thing while they bitched#Is Danny Dusanās mom? Wonderful question that the league is pondering themself#Danny introduced Sam & Tucker to Ras once & it was horrific how well they got along#Danny almost forgot that Tucker was once a royal dictator who had constant assassination attempts#Sam & Ras bond over violent love of nature & willingness to kill to keep it safe from assholes#Damian about Danny: Obviously this is Grandmother#Jason after being thrown in the Pit: Who are you Where am I What the fuck#Damian: :O Akhi you can speak now :D Come see my puppy Grandmother gave me for protection#Ras & Danny: Threatening each other#Everyone else: Do they want to kill each other or are they flirting or bothā¦#Space Core Danny#Star Core Jason
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listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.
yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?
maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".
get a better joke
#toy txt post#god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones#let it flop..........pls#internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop#i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having#1 million bajillion disclaimers#virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word#disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word#grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used#to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023#and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like#im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild#i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good'#like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you#but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches'#'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay#god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil#but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful#and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like#hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine#and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr#and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like#and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay#its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat#? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty?#you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right#stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny#whatever#if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll#i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2015.
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the trumpers are out here insisting that trump won because those uppity city liberals are so arrogant and snooty looking down on them with their superiority complexes, and they lost the election because they refused to pander emotionally to the beer guzzlers and gun toting rednecks of this proud nation, well.
I'm just gonna say something even white trash can understand...
with all due respect... fuck your feelings.
dumbass hicks.
#hehehehe#us politics#donald trump#yes i do have a superiority complex and what of it#i was born smarter and i went to school#im not gonna pretend were intellectual equals#we arent#ur so obsessed with the idea of genetic superiority well#well i was born better what can i say#also fuck you if you cant see just how poorly you voted#if you really believe his lies i cant help you and frankly i already did my best to help you#now u can reap what u sowed bitch#ill be alright#you maybe not so much#im done with the kiddie gloves here#71 million adults voted for a rapist conman#u dont get my compassion#fuck u and fuck ur ppl#being stupid isnt an excuse#being cruel is worse#but i think youre both#and i have no sympathy or kindness left for you
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Hi GT,
Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but I absolutely love the recs you've given (you've introduced me to tomione, and I love it!) and I was wondering if it's possible to give you some recs in return? There are some books and fics that definitely have dramione / got vibes, and I was wondering if I could share them with you!
So glad you've enjoyed them! Feel free to rec me anything you want. I've read most of the classic recs in terms of fic and adjacent content (Cruel Prince et al), but I'll try anything that's well-written. My tastes run towards weird and/or audaciously creative stuff, and I can forgive a lot of weaknesses in plot on the grounds of (1) ambition or (2) character work. My turnoffs are instalove, protagonists who can't fail, and most Y/A (I'm not a hater, I swear, I just need characters who can say "fuck" when their leg gets chopped off.)
I'm also a fan of weird and fucked-up dynamics.(Wuthering Heights was my favorite book for a while, and as a teenager I wrote an AU in which the book ends on a long sex scene where Heathcliff fucks Cathy's ghost and then immediately gets murdered by Catherine 2.) Obviously, I am very normal.
#greenteacup asks#my beef with Y/A is mostly expressed in a dissonance between tone and content#LOVE the content. dystopia fantasy horror sex and blood ā awesome. but question. why are they all saying 'darn'?#like in the vampire diaries where they'll watch people get eaten and then 2 episodes later be like 'omg SCHOOL DANCE'#(EDIT: actually in fairness. on the vampire diaries. it was mostly just caroline that did that. unfair example my apologies)#& i distinguish this critique from a common bitch-and-moan complaint about tv shows being interested in 'girly' things#like relationships and social standing. that is not my complaint. that shit is delicious. i will chomp that shit for days#my issue is that when the stakes oscillate wildly from episode to episode and i can't tell what the main thing is#like sorry. a story with murder in it is always going to be about murder. you can't make it not about murder#unfortunately! many have tried.#and in general i have difficulty reading about teenagers bcā#(she says having written 600k words about them OKAY I KNOW. i contain multitudes.)#because they're either mini-adults (preferred flavor. jude in the cruel prince nails this) or like leetol babies to me#and unless it's something like the hunger games where the Leetol Baby thing is part of the story#i'm like. hang on. you're 12 what are you doing here#percy jackson was hard for me to re-read as an adult for this reason#which is why they're enjoyable for teenagers! because as a teenager you DO feel like an adult#and you like reading books that treat you like one! nothing wrong with that! healthy even!#only then you get past the teenage years (mashallah) and you get stuff like twilight#where of COURSE bella doesn't think twice about 117 year old man falling in love with her#because he looks like a rich mysterious 17-year-old hottie#but you reread it later and it's like um well. that. could be explored a little more maybe.#i'm not even necessarily opposed to it. candidly. still team edward. i just think the dynamic should be more fucked up and juicy.#which Y/A authors are often reluctant to do. like. COWARDS! face the nasty consequences of your narrative decisions!#anyhow. you didn't ask for any of this. please give me your recs lovely person you seem very nice.
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bro now itās actually pizsing me off the hate this poor young woman is getting for playing Juliet in some random play in London like not even a Hollywood movie but a random play šš
#āoh weāre not being racist sheās not attractiveā#BITCH BUT WHY COMMENT ON HER LOOKS IN THE FIRST PLACE#ALSO YOU ARE DEFFO BEING RACIST#like imagine this poor girl seeing all these posts making fun of her looks#grown adults on fb too itās not just the kids on tiktok#and likeā¦ even if she isnāt pretty to your standardsā¦ why not just let women be average ??#I mean Tom Holland is average as fuck and yall donāt say shit about him#why are women especially brown or black women just not allowed to be average#why do they have to fit into your narrow stereotype of what beautiful is and if they donāt then they get hated on#like why is the world so cruel#leave her alone like usually idgaf about famous people and what people say about them#but this is just some regular girl tryna be an actress and doing what she loves#she thought she got her big break with this play#and now everyoneās just mocking her appearance???#as if itās EVER that deep????#ugh
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@tothepayne who asked for ššāļø:
š icemav break up / icedad
Sighing, Tom drops back down into his seat and stares at Bradley for a moment with a careful expression on his face. āKiddo, itās not thatā¦ simple. Not between Mav and I.ā Blinking, Bradley furrows his brow, purses his lips, and stares back at Tom from across the small dining table. āBut you still love him? And-and he still loves you?ā āUnfortunately, itās not always that simple or easy. Not when it comes to adult relationships,ā he says. Because itās true. Itās not always that simple or easy. Especially not with the situation he and Mav were in in regards to Bradley.
āš» insecure bradley - hangster
And though he knows itās going to hurt. Itās going to carve a gorge out of his heart and chest, he still canāt help doing it. Giving his all and more. Wringing every sound, feeling, of pleasure for Jake as he takes him apart and apart. Coaxing out his first orgasm, then a second and third before he finally lets himself fall over the edge and follow Jake into oblivion.
Make Nixie Write!
#tothepayne#nixie answers#make nixie write#hangster#sereshaw#icedad#being an adult can be a bitch at times#especially in regards to love and relationships and not seeing eye to eye about important things#insecure bradley#bradley is a good boy and will do everything in his power to give jake what he thinks he wants and needs#not caring about himself and his own wants and needs#and that is a fucking heady thing to hold in the palm of your hand
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Today was an absolute dumpster fire at home. I can't wait for my roommate's ex to move out after what happened today holy shit...
I don't have many people on my shit list, but after today, she's definitely on there. The audacity of her saying some of the shit she said to me-
I wish I could go back to NYC and stay with my parents for a month or two and visit homies... but I don't want to give her that power.
#rii vents#I'm beyond frustrated#today was absolute dogwater#can't wait for this stupid bitch to move out#I'm tired of walking on eggshells and not having the space to adult#then she had the audacity to try and apologize to me after everything she said today#ON TOP of making cutting and snide remarks not even 5 mins before apologizing-#I'm normally not that assertive but I told her ass āI don't think you're actually sorryā#So fucking tired of this dumb bitch#everyone who's aware of the situation even agreed that it was fucking bully and violent behavior#I know I'm no saint but talk to me again like that and tell me that I'm self-centered and that I don't care about you#I'll make sure you know what me not caring about someone looks like#cuz that shit is NOT pretty#and blaming me for the reason you and my roommate broke up and you wanting to move out??? alright#holy fuck I'm so sorry I'm just so fucking pissed#there has been NO reprieve today#I just wanna chill and play ZZZ and stop being angry for 10 minutes. please-
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iām obsessed with those āitkg finds out gojo raised megumiā fics & now iām just giggling at the idea of like every month they find out megumi is someoneās boy. it could be yuuta. shoko. maki. gojo. etc.
kamo is fighting to get megumi as his boy but :( heās just not valid enough. yuuji is seething at the idea that everyone get to claim megumi as their own in some fucking way but meanwhile, he can barely find the courage to hold his fucking hand.
kugisaki is just wondering if megumi is like the village baby. like does she need to step up? she absolutely will because she needs a doll to practice makeup on & etc. gotta put those lashes to good use.
(also the idea of gojo using jujutsu terms to describe the most parental things like sex. god i donāt even wanna imagine his period talk.)
Megumi had to give the period talk.
It was the second worst and most painful talk of his life. It used to be the first, and then Gojo decided that Megumi needed to learn about safe sex and the magic of his changing body. megumi almost killed them both just to end that conversation.
Tsumiki was unfortunate enough to have hit her period before everyone else in her class, and she was always kind of isolated from the rest of the kids because of Everything with her home life. She wasn't inviting people over for sleepovers, and she didn't really go on them herself. Her mom was completely checked out of her life from a young age. And I head canon her as someone who tends to neglect her own needs in favor of everyone else's. So she had absolutely no idea what was happening when her period came. She hadn't heard of it at school yet. She hadn't heard of it from her mom. She hadn't thought to look up what exactly happened in puberty for herself yet. She thought she was bleeding internally. She thought she was dying. It was a point of hysteria.
It did not help that Shoko had spent years lying wildly about what happened on a girl's "time of the month" to Gojo and Geto. To this day, Megumi has no idea what Gojo thought happened on a woman's period, but it sounds suspiciously like lycanthropy. As a result, Gojo also thought she was bleeding internally. He almost teleported her to Shoko for healing. He was about to take her to a hospital.
Luckily for them both, Megumi secretly loves his sister and had very quietly prepared for this eventuality while hoping beyond hope that it would never come to be.
He didn't want to do it. He just knew that Tsumiki wouldn't think of herself and that she didn't have a mom to walk her through this. At least for him, he knew that Gojo had lived through the amab puberty experience. He assumed that Shoko would step up to the plate when the time came, but Shoko was more of a wine aunt than a mom figure, and he just wanted a contingency if she didn't.
He read a book on what to expect with puberty for afab reproductive systems. He immediately returned this book to the library. He said nothing about any of this to anyone ever. He shut the fuck up about it for years. He was happy not talking about it.
Until Tsumiki got her period. And it was treated like cause for a hospital visit instead of the corner store.
Megumi calmed them both down. He told them that they were going to shut up, sit down, and listen. Absolutely no eye contact would be allowed for the duration of this conversation. They would never speak of this again. There would be no questions at the end. Everyone shut the fuck up and listen.
It was a comprehensive and medically accurate explanation. There were diagrams pulled up from the internet. He gave one (1) stiff hug to his sister and informed her that if they ever spoke of this again, he would have no choice but to kill them both. Then, he went upstairs and tried to forget it ever happened.
legitimately every time they turn around, they find out that Megumi is someone else's Boy. First it's Yuuta, and that's a crisis and a half--mostly for Yuuji, who seethes with a quiet and unexpected jealousy. Then it's Maki, who very unexpectedly fussed over Megumi's injuries after a mission and lectured him about being careful before sending him to bed. Then it's Gojo and finding out that Megumi is literally his boy, like he's his legal adoptive son. Then it's Panda and Inumaki, who have decided that the Village Baby custody agreement that only exists in their head means it's Their Right to harass any of Megumi's potential romantic partners, leading to a very confusing conversation with Itadori, who was still buffering with his gay awakening and hadn't realized he was a potential partner.
It's not Kamo. It's never Kamo.
(Kamo: he could be my boy
Maki, not missing a beat: he really couldn't
Kamo: he could--
Maki: he never will be)
Nobara doesn't have Yuuji's homosexual drive to make Megumi Her Boy but she does have a rapidly developing codependency with him and a healthy sense of competition. Fuck it, he's her boy now. She'll do it better than everyone else. She's got Her Boys and none of them go outside without the other two anymore. They're a Unit. they're gay idiots but they're her gay idiots. Fuck off.
Megumi absolutely has no awareness of any of this happening and would not be happy if he found out it was.
#sea glass gardens#Megumi's just everyone's boy okay#the teen parenting trio were horribly enchanted by him#like tsumiki too but megumi was their little boy#he was this eternally grumpy smart ass and they were Obsessed with that fact#he's this tiny little thing and he is So Angry in every photo#he was a very articulate child and he'd use it to tell adults to fuck off#he was a prodigy in being a bitch and they could NOT have been more proud#he's everyone's boy#except for kamo's#poor guy just cannot catch a break with him#I like to imagine that Geto had an identical freak out when the twins hit puberty#he thought they were dying#when he realized what shoko had done he laughed harder than he had in a long time#and he missed a time where he could have talked to her about it after
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I rly donāt see how ppl be 20+ shipping kids anymore tbhā¦ like, itās so rampant and I donāt see the appeal to it anymore being as tho Iām in my late 20ās.
#Iām grownā¦.. it always baffles me to see it like man I donāt care I donāt find joy in it anymore since Iām not a teenager#I just look at them and think theyāre like my fake sonā¦ daughter nephew niece whatever lol#give me the struggling and mentally fucked up 20+ year old give me those middle age bitches man if Iām going to like a ship now anyway#like i donāt care about the romance between kids man it sucks that this is such a huge thing in most fandom spaces#not that I participate in said spaces since ppl are annoying and embarrassing#also very nasty#sns is diff tho like thatās a whole other thing šŖ½#sns is just a classic itās legendary it transcends space and time it it-#Iām so glad that jjk is full of adults tho lmfaoo#one of Gegeās only Wāsā¦ especially impressive for a shounen#i like jjk outside of the goiji pairings too like I just genuinely enjoy it despite how awful it is now lol#again#I do think that ppl need to learn how to become more comfortable with enjoying media outside of shipping tho#like thereās nothing wrong with it obviously but Iām talking more like how tons of ppl only get into a new series for the sole purpose#of shipping instead of engaging with said media and the story that itās trying to tellā¦#this is why fanon and wild insane hcās usually get out of control too to the point where those who might be interested in checking out#a series might be deterred because they donāt even know what the show is about because the only stuff that ppl see about the thing is ship#stuff and like discourse#and the behavior of the fansā¦#these ppl be 30+ arguing with teenagers man itās crazy to me#I just think there needs to be a balance lol#like still go crazy. Have fun and all but you get it#but anyway. with all that being said! Goiji stays winning in my heart š¶š¾āāļø#rambling
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JoJo Siwa doesnāt deserve all the hate (and homophobia) sheās getting for her style and music; but she does deserve scrutiny for defending Colleen Ballinger and being both active and complicit in abuse that happened on her TV show. Like the girl has been under the public eye in unhealthy environments all her life; cut her some slack ā not too much; sheās still a responsible adult ā but if youāre going to dogpile her, then at least dogpile her for the right reasons. Jesus Fucking Christ.
#jojo siwa#discourse#Her comment sections are VILE#I actually donāt hate her songs. Theyāre basically early-2000s new old stock and I like early 2000s music#Is she trying too hard to look like an āadult?ā Yes. But thatās understandable.#What isnāt understandable is screaming at children for no fucking reason#and JoJo not helping at all when a girl was hemorrhaging out her belly button#when JoJoās mother told the girl to āput a pad on itā#I donāt care how afraid you are of your parents; you END that shit the second you see it#I was raised in a cult and I actively sabotaged my parentsā preaching work on multiple occasions#I didnāt know if Iād get kicked out if they found out I did that; the only reason I still have a relationship with them#is because they never found out about my later sabotage#Dad preached to a waitress dangling a cure for her sonsā disorder in front of her nose as incentive to join and gave her literature#So I went to the restaurant with him and insisted I pay for the tip.#I gave her eight dollars and a sticky note with a bunch of keywords about the cultās abuses to look up#The next time I went there#she said didnāt understand the sticky note and asked me while he was gone what I meant#I hate talking to people especially when Iām under pressure because I trip over my words even when Iām NOT anxious#But her kidsā lives being free of a cult meant more to me than avoiding a momentary discomfort so I gave a quick rundown#She thanked me and heeded my warning basically playing along with me and not saying anything to my dad about it#I was 20; JoJo was about 19 when her show was going on#She had no excuse for allowing her mom to do that.#At the very least she could have said āOh god Iām so sorry she said that. Please donāt hurt yourself for my show; go to the hospital.ā#But no. She didnāt do that. In fact she screamed at children and joked that if they were crying then it was a good show.#Bitch come here and do that in front of me. I double dog dare you. I may only be 5ā5ā but I fight dirty and Iām angrier than you#Sorry. I guess I do hate herā¦ for THAT specifically.#Like yeah Iāve fucked up with the kids I help and yelled when I didnāt have to but I HATED doing it and tried to do better later#Why someone would SCREAM at kids on purpose for long periods of time for no reason is beyond me
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god i fucking hate my dad
#he came home today from a bike trip he went on and he's been arguing with me about honeybee the whole fucking day#he keeps saying just let her out let her run around! every time i put her in her pen to nap#and he refuses to stop her from biting him#and he got mad at her for playing with his socks when she'd just been playing with mine and he threw them on the floor of the living room#which first of all stop being such a fucking slob#and second of all what the fuck did you expect to happen? it's a soft new toy on the floor where she spends most of her time. where all her#toys are. very similar to the two soft items she's allowed to play with (my socks)#she's fucking 3 months old she doesn't understand the difference between my socks and his socks#and i keep telling him i know what im doing i was doing all the research while he went to buttfuck nowhere on his midlife crisis motorcycle#but he just wont fucking listen to me#and hes like oh youre at that age where you think youre right about everything and are so stubborn like fuck you actually#first of all im stubborn about this because its a living breathing puppy and his actions will affect her behaviour as an adult#and bc i know what im fucking doing. ive been an animal person my entire life. i did all the research. i did this exact same thing with#parrots for five years.#and hes like you cant just put her in her pen every time shes being a dog like no i fucking dont. i only put her in her pen when it's time#for a nap and she's getting overtired. you can't just let her run around until she collapses bc for one she never fucking will#second that's only going to make her energy threshold higher and then she'll be absolutely impossible to handle#and i told him that and that i read that on like every professional dog training source i read#and he said that might be true or might not be#like it fucking is bitch omfg#and then he tried to one up me like um i actually raised you guys for a long time i know what im doing#like a child is not a fucking dog. also my mom raised us lets be fucking serious. and look how well adjusted i turned out#and he told me to relax and calm down like i wasnt even arguing with him but i sure as hell will now#like dont tell me to fucking relax. when has telling anyone to relax ever made anything better. especially a teenager. especially a (for#simplicity's sake) woman.#and i told him dont tell me to relax and he got all pissy and stormed off#like literally fuck you#im my fathers daughter. im just as stubborn as he is.#rambles
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today is such a stark contrast to yesterday in how much i fucking hate today (vent/rant in tags bc i forgor to do it on my vent one)
#[š®] rambles ~#lmfao you speak up in this household? WRONG. MISTAKE. HOW DARE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.#expressing your thoughts? fucking blasphemy#āoh you do know you can tell me anything anytime right? ā what a joke#gods#fuck this shit#you know what i need to learn properly? keeping my mouth fucking shut. keeping my thoughts to myself.#why do i even bother#I LITERALLY DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING#just you know spoke the truth which is apparently forbidden or smth#its not my fault shes a hypocrite????? cant accept the truth thats her fucking problem#honestly i genuinely cant think of an adult around me who isnt a hypocrite but im sure there hopefully is#and then she comes again all sweet sickly smiles expecting me to shower her with love the next moment after being fucking scolded like hell#for saying ome single fucking line of my thoughts that she so encourages me to āexpressā#as if everything is my fucking fault#atp i hate myself as much too bc why do i let myself get affected i should have grown used to this shit years ago#i should know better than to let her get to me yet look at me being a sentimental lil bitch#god i just wanna get out of here please#anyways shit this didnt go to my vent blog fuck im sorry yall had to read that guys please feel free to ignore lmao#but yk i had to get my feelings out somewhere bc wwll i bottle up enough already lol#tw vent
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My five happy things for the day
ā¢ paper that has a good feeling texture
ā¢ things not feeling like an emergency EVERY second of the day, only part of the time
ā¢ the fact that these cheapo stamp ink pads from Walmart a few years ago somehow still have a bit of functioning ink not dried out?
ā¢ Iām able to track and retain conversations for longer periods of time again, Iām finally finally finally feeling some progress
ā¢ putting on a warm hoodie or coat when feeling chilled
#fivethingsaday#I still canāt believe people LIKE me!! ?! ?! ?! ?!#Iāve accidentally wound up dumbfounded with a delightful number of friends#like. wait. I thought you guys were playing a very long trap or were only liking me because of obligation or worth vs hassle ratio.#I thought I was just enjoying it before it vanished! but yowza!!!#apparently I DID get the chance for it to be real#and I am in the middle of living an adult life I didnāt think Iād see!!!#so anyway holy shit I apparently am not secretly a poison to people#these cool people Iāve been so admiring of and wished I could really have a life with someone like them as a friend#BITCH I DO IT IS ME#what the FUCK.#anyway Iāve got to go keep trying to wrangle my very uncooperative knee#and marvel at the slowly-dawning reality of being liked actually not just kept around#god grade school age social hierarchy lessons sure get roots down in deep#Iām so pleased as punch and totally in skeptical disbelief. Iām also delighted and horrifically embarrassed and feeling stupid and feeling#unbearably grateful and feeling quite particularly like Iām in the Truman show and also won the lottery#Iām going to do a lot of STICKING WITH IMPORTANT ROUTINES FOR MY WELL-BEING about it#add to journal
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i should be sttudying what the fuck
#its currently 4 am where i live in and im not sleeping bcs i told myself i was gonna study but here i am tempted to fucking write a#jongseong au bcs what the fuck im so deprived and i miss him i miss enha holy shit i miss being that delulu ass bitch i was a year ago im#hating college rn bcs im so fucking burnout bcs my prof expects me to be ready when she wants bcs i have to adjust with her schedule so whe#a last minute comes up i get yelled at by my parents but what can i do prof over everything or else i fail and what the fuck i'll be on my#last year of college soon and im not sure if im ready for adult life oh my god what the fuck rawr forgive me for being neurotic tmi i took#tests and they all consistently concluded that i am inf act neurotic and have a high chance on being diagnosed so forgive me RAWR anyway#imma finish this one subject and fucking rest by trying to write this jay au i have in mind yes slay bless
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looked at old pics of myself at the wrong time and now im crying.,
#i always thot i was just kinda ugly and weird and lame and like. i wasnt. not that it would matter if i was but like. i wasnt i was just. me#in my memories im so mean to myself and then to like look back at who i was at that time is like. so hard like why was i so mean to myself#and why am i still so mean to myself. like who does it benefit to remember myself as awful and annoying and ugly and unlovable#like the only person in my life who thought i was all those things was me. like the only person that hated me that much was ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i hate it here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im fine :)#this was a nice wakeup call i suppose.#also all those old pics i looked so hot im crying actual tears im so mad i could have been getting so much pussy if i wasnt so depressed#idk im just like. trying to be nice to my inner child and my inner teenager is one thing but like. being nice to me early 20s is even harde#i always thought ppl hated me and its like no bitch..... You hated YOURSELF................... anyways im dehydrated#this blog turning 13 sent me into a real spiral ill tell u WHAT.#having spent all my formative years online to then become almost completely offline after getting a job. its drama to say grieving but like#idk it felt like looking at pics of a dead relative. like it looked like me and i could remember taking those pics. but like. thats not me.#GOD. GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD#AND ITS ESPECIALLY CRAZY TO LOOK BACK NOW HAVING GAINED ADULT BODY WEIGHT AT PICS OF ME AS A KID WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS FAT. AND I WASNT.#AGAINNNNNNNNNNN NOT THAT IT WOULD MATTER IF I WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS#but i spent my whole life being treated as FAT without actually being fat. WHICH I AM NOW. and now im the happiest and fattest ive been.#like i actually wasnt a horrible ugly fat freak of nature. i just needed to get away from my mom#i really am rambling at this point. i know i need to Look Within and Figure Out Who I Want To Be and What Kind Of Person I Want To Become#but also i have work#and the answer is some kind of transgender. one of em. thats for sure. but like. im a waitress so like. rain check that convo....#anyways. i am not a bad person. and i wish i didnt spend so much of my life convincing myself i was. but u live and u learn i fucking GUESS
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