#now u can reap what u sowed bitch

[animentality]

the trumpers are out here insisting that trump won because those uppity city liberals are so arrogant and snooty looking down on them with their superiority complexes, and they lost the election because they refused to pander emotionally to the beer guzzlers and gun toting rednecks of this proud nation, well.

I'm just gonna say something even white trash can understand...

with all due respect... fuck your feelings.

dumbass hicks.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers VANDEAD CARNIVAL ;; Present from Sakamaki [PART 1]

ー The scene starts in the classroom

Health committee member (1): ーー There we go. That should conclude the check-up.

Yui: Thank you. Phew...

( Hm...I wonder if it’s because I’ve been having my blood sucked, but my weight has gone down a little. )

( I don’t know whether I should be happy or sad...It’s a complicated feeling. )

Health committee member: Is something the matter?

Yui: Ah, no. This is my health report card.

Health committee member: Yes, thank you very much. (2) ーー Ah.

Yui: ...? Is something wrong?

Health committee member: Oh no, that’s not it.

Here...Your date of birth. It’s your birthday tomorrow, isn’t it?

Yui: Ah, now that you mention it...

Health committee member: I’m one day early, but congratulations!

Yui: ( I honestly didn’t think I’d have anyone congratulate me for my birthday after moving to this city. )

Thank you very much. I’m so haーー

*Rattle*

Laito: Nfu, Bitch-chan~! Laito-kun’s here to pick you up~!

Yui: Laito-kun...!

Kanato: You’re late. What were you doing? You really are such a slowpoke.

Yui: K-Kanato-kun as well...

I’m sorry for keeping you guys waiting. The examination has finished already so let’s go.

Laito: By the way, Bitch-chan~? What did you hand over to the lady just now~? 

*Flip*

Health committee member: Eh? Ahーー!

Yui: L-Laito-kun! Y-You can’t!

Laito: Aah~ Right, they took body measurements today, no?

Yui: I’m begging you, don’t look...!

Laito: Hm...? Oh dear, oh dear, what do we have here...? I see...~ 

Yui: Geez, Laito-kun...!

*Flip*

Laito: Well, I’m not really interested in this stuff so I’ll be nice and hand it back. More importantly, let’s hurry back home.

Yui: ( Thank god. He handed it back right away... )

U-Um...By the way, where’s Ayato-kun?

Laito: The・truth・is...~ He got such a bad grade on his test this morning. 

So he got called over to the faculty room~

*Rattle*

Ayato: ...The fuck?

Laito: Ah, well done getting through the teachers’ scolding~! We were just talking about you.

Ayato: Che...The fuck’s their problem? They kept on naggin’ at me just ‘cause I didn’t get the best score.

Kanato: You reap what you sow. If only you were intelligent like we are, you poor thing.

Ayato: Aah!? You two aren’t much better, are you!?

Laito: Eh~~? We’re not on your level.

Kanato: You had a single-digit number, right? Please do not group us together.

Ayato: Che...

Yui: U-Um, Ayato-kun. Please don’t beat yourself up over it...

Ayato: Fuck off! Come on, Chichinashi. We’re goin’ home already!!

Yui: Y-Yeah...!

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the limousine

Reiji: Haah...Because of you lot, we are running horribly late.

Yui: ( Uu...I’m pretty sure I informed him of today’s physical examination before we left for school today though... )

Reiji: For one, people such as you lot who fail to stick to a time schedule on a regular basis, will surely experience problems in your daily life as weーー

*Rustle*

Ayato: Oi, Chichinashi. Give me your blood once we get home, ‘kay?

This irritated feelin’ is makin’ me thirsty, so I’ll suck you plenty.

Kanato: Could you not just decide that by yourself?

I am just as irritated because you kept us waiting.

I will be sucking her blood first once we get home. Right, Teddy...?

Ayato: Ah? Excuse me...?

Laito: Nfu~ Bitch-chan’s blood, how nice. I’m hungry as well, so why don’t we equally split it amongst us three?

Reiji: ...Haah...I wonder how I got stuck with a bunch of stubborn fools who refuse to listen to what someone is saying...

Shuu: ...

Reiji: ...That being said, I suppose they are still better than the guy who falls asleep before he can even listen at all...

This good-for-nothing...!

Yui: ( R-Reiji-san... )

I-I’m sorry. It’s my fault we were running late. We had a physical check-up today and...

Since I’ve been a little anemic, it took slightly longer than I expected...

Subaru: Hm? ...Oi, have you really been feelin’ anemic?

Yui: Yeah...

( Could he be worried about me...? )

Subaru: I don’t give a damn ‘bout what happens to you...But it’d suck if you’d run dry of blood. Make sure that stuff gets replenished, ‘kay?

Yui: R-Right...

Reiji: Exactly. Your blood is the only value you hold after all.

Yui: ( Of course. That’s all I’m good for to them. )

( What made me think they’d be worried about me...? )

( I should know that already but...For some reason, it makes me a little sad. )

Laito: ...Nfu~

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to Yui’s bedroom

Yui: Phew...Somehow I’m really exhausted today...

Tomorrow’s a free day, so I’ll hit the hay early and spend some nice, quiet time.

*Rustle*

Yui: ( Tomorrow’s my birthday, huh...? I wonder if I’ll be able to head out somewhere...? )

ー The scene shifts to the living room

Laito: Attention please~! Thank you all for gathering here on this fine evening~!

Ayato: ...Geez, what do you suddenly want? I was thinkin’ of droppin’ by Chichinashi’s room for a sip of blood.

Kanato: My poor Teddy had his snacks stolen by Laito, you know...!? I won’t forgive you if you made me come here for nothing!!

Subaru: Che...

Shuu: ...Pwaah...Sleepy.

Reiji: ...Now this is unexpected. I did not think you and Subaru would show up as well.

Shuu: No...I was already taking a nap here when you guys just started gathering one after the other.

Laito: Nfu~ I plotted this get-together immaculately, no~?

Reiji: ...I suppose one could say you used your brain for once, Laito.

ーー So, what is this about? Please stop beating around the bush, and explain to us what is going on.

Subaru: It better not be some bullshit or you’re not gettin’ away with it!

Laito: Hm~ Thank you for your typical input, Subaru-kun~ However, I’m pretty sure you’re going to love hearing about this?

Kanato: What do you have to tell us then!?

Laito: You see, it happens to be Bitch-chan’s birthday tomorrow~

Ayato: Ah? Birthday?

Laito: Yes, exactly!

So...I figured we would all throw a surprise birthday party for her!

Subaru: Ah!? Who in their right mind would waste their fuckin’ time on somethin’ so ridiculous!?

Laito: Oh come on~ I mean, she’s always giving us her delicious blood, no?

Ayato: ‘Giving’, my ass! It belongs to me either way.

Laito: Relax! That’s not what matters right now!

I don’t think it would hurt to show our gratitude and do something in return for once though~

Kanato: Surprise birthday party...

Ayato: Keh. Why do we have to show our gratitude? She’s our prey!

Laito: Eeeh~~~? I thought it’d be fun though. I mean, if none of you are up for it, I guess I’ll drop the ideaー

Don’t you think you’d get to indulge in plenty of takoyaki or sweets? It is a birthday party after all.

Ayato: ...

Kanato: ...

Laito: But well, seems like I’m out of luck, so I suppose I’ll have to give up~

Kanato: Please wait. I cannot possibly turn down an opportunity to eat sweets.

Ayato: I’m in too! Let’s prepare a whole mountain of takoyaki and throw this party!!

Laito: Nfu...~ Now that’s sounding more like a proper celebration.

Reiji: Haah...I feel ashamed having to call those three my brothers...

Shuu: ...Who cares. Just do as you please...

Ayato: Stop complainin’ if you’re not even gonna join in. That only means there will be more food for me, so don’t even bother showin’ up!

Kanato: Agreed. You won’t join either, Subaru?

Subaru: No way in hell I’m botherin’ with that annoyin’ crap!

Laito: Hm~ I would have loved it if we could all participate though. You’re skipping out as well, Reiji?

Reiji: Well, under normal circumstances, I would never consider taking part in such nonsense. Howeverーー

It cannot be denied that she has been donating her blood to us.

Furthermore, I cannot see things ending well if the three of you combine forces. 

Worst-case scenario, the whole manor will be blown into the air...Which would be highly troublesome, so I shall participate to keep an eye on things.

Ayato: Keh, there you go talkin’ shit ‘bout us again.

Laito: Well, I guess the four of us will celebrate Bitch-chan’s birthday together then.

Reiji: Halt. Do you truly believe that I can supervise all three of you just by myself?

Laito: I’m pretty sure we don’t need someone keeping an eye on us though~? 

Reiji: I am not that naive to fall for those words.

I am using my veto to impose mandatory participation on every member of this household, understood?

Subaru: Haah!? What gives you the right to do that!?

Reiji: Do you have any idea how much I look after all of you on a daily basis? 

Subaru: Aah!? Fuck do I know!? Besides, we never asked you to do that shit, nor do we actively try and trouble you!? 

Reiji: I suppose those being looked after do not realize how privileged they are themselves. ...That good-for-nothing over there is a prime example of that.

Shuu: ...

Reiji: Better be safe than sorry. You shall participate to protect the manor.

Shuu: Ahー ...What a drag. Fine, so just shut up already...

Reiji: Very well. Well then, Subaru. You will join in as well, no?

Subaru: Hell no.

Laito: Oh come on, why not~? You should join the fun as well. It’s not like you get the chance every day? Right?

If you continue to be stubbornー...

Nfu~ We’ll hold the party over at your room, okay?

Subaru: Haah!? No fuckin’ way!!

Laito: Perfect! That means everyone’s in!

Subaru: Oi!! Don’t make that choice for me!

Laito: Eeh~~? But then we’ll throw the party in your room though? Are you fine with that?

Ayato: Actually, didn’t you lose your temper the other day and busted another hole through the wall?

Shuu: Haha...Taking a nap while enjoying the night breeze honestly isn’t that bad though...

Subaru: ...Don’t come here to sleep...

...Fuck...! You guys better don’t make me do all of the shitty tasks!

Reiji: Well then, I suppose that wraps up this discussion. As for what we need to prepare, the obvious things would be...

Ayato: Takoyaki, duh!

Kanato: I want to eat a cake covered in whipped cream with a bunch of large strawberries on top!

Reiji: Those are the things you guys want to eat, no? We should at least try and consider what she likes.

Ayato: Ah? What are you sayin’? We’re already doin’ plenty by celebrating her birthday, no?

Laito: They say it’s the sentiment which counts, right?

Reiji: Guh...I am baffled to hear something sensical come from you lot’s mouths for once.

Kanato: So, what exactly do I need to do to get my strawberry cake?

Subaru: ...Aren’t we kind of missin’ the point now?

Laito: Oh well, wasn’t there this one important guy who said that participating is more important than winning?

...That being said, let’s go shopping for all the foods we want to eat!

Kanato: I don’t mind if you go buy it for me, but it better be delicious.

Subaru: Then go buy it yourself!

Kanato: Me? Going grocery shopping? Why would I bother doing something so troublesoーー

Right...In one of the books I read in the past, it said that a birthday cake is best when homemade.

I can put on as much whipped cream as I like, before decorating it with a bunch of strawberries...Fufu, my own exclusive cake.

Haah...Just imagining it is making my mouth water...I’ve decided. I will make a delicious cake.

Reiji: Not in my book.

Kanato: Why do I need your permission? I decided I will make it, so it’s already settled.

Ayato: Oh, sounds kinda interestin’! In that case, I’m gonna try my hand at some homemade takoyaki as well!

Reiji: You make it sound so easy...Do you truly believe you can pull it off?

Shuu: Haah. This situation is steadily going downhill...

Laito: Nfu~ Homemade, huh? It’s starting to sound more and more like a real birthday party.

Reiji: Laito, why are you pretending as if you take no responsibility in this?

You are the one who brought up the idea in the first place, so you should make sure things are kept in check.

Laito: Eh~~~? But that’s what you’re here for, no?

Ayato: ...So, what else needs to get done?

Kanato: You aren’t thinking of making us do all the work, right?

Reiji: Of course. For one...

I have yet to hear of a birthday party with only takoyaki and a cake.

Ayato: Haah? What’s so bad about that?

Reiji: It is a day on which humans celebrate their very short life, so do you not believe there should be a diverse, luxurious buffet as you would see at evening galas or dinner banquets?

Kanato: I do remember how noisy those evening parties would be. However, I am not interested in anything besides the cake.

Reiji: ...Haah, you are only thinking of your own gain. Truly what one would expect from you lot.

Ayato: I mean, I doubt Chichinashi will enjoy it, unless we’re having fun as well!

Subaru: Che...Ridiculous...

Reiji: Good grief...I suppose I have no other choice. In that case, I shall be in charge of making the main course...

Laito: In that case, I’ll help out Ayato-kun~ Making takoyaki sounds kind of fun, to be honest.

Shuu: Pwaaah~ ...Doesn’t seem like there’s anything I need to do...

Reiji: You shall keep an eye on her to ensure she does not leave her room.

It is a trivial task, perfect for someone like you, no?

Shuu: ...Che...What a chore...

Subaru: Haah, whatever.

Reiji: Subaru, you will be doing your fair share as well.

Subaru: Haah!?

Reiji: Do you truly believe I can trust Kanato by himself in the kitchen? Make sure to keep an eye on him.

Subaru: Why me!?

Reiji: Since you are the only one still left without a task, obviously?

I expect you to put your life on the line to ensure the kitchen does not go up in flames.

Subaru: Annoyin’...

Laito: Okaay~! Well then everyone, off we go! (3)

*TIMESKIP*

Ayato: Oi, Reiji! Step back! I gotta be the one walkin’ in front!

Reiji: Pipe down, Ayato.

Kanato: Good grief...I cannot stand all this noise. Say, you feel so too, don’t you, Teddy...?

Subaru: We’re not lil’ children anymore, so wouldn’t it have been better if just one of us did the shoppin’ by themselves...?

Laito: Oh come on, don’t you think it’s fun to all go grocery shopping together for once~?

Subaru: ...Che. Don’t talk to me as if we’re buds.

Reiji: ...Hm? Everyone, wait one second.

I cannot see Shuu anywhere around?

Subaru: Haah? Who cares? He’s probably snoozin’ again somewhere.

Reiji: Good grief...Here I thought he was actually joining without any protests for once, but there he goes acting off his own accord again...Truly infuriating.

Even though we have to ensure we are back at the manor by the time she wakes upーー

Ayato: Oh! They’ve got a takoyaki grill! Laito! Let’s go check it out!

Laito: Huh~? But don’t we already have one of those?

Ayato: Ah? Like I know where to find that thing. It’d be too much trouble lookin’ for it.

Laito: Good point! Let’s go have a look then!

ー The two of them enter a store

Reiji: Ah, halt! We should stick to the planning and only visit the necessary stoーー

Kanato: I simply cannot spend another minute with this rowdy bunch.

I will go my own way, so come look for me if you need me.

ー Kanato leaves as well

Reiji: Hey! Where are you going, Kanato!? I will not let this selfish behavior slide!

Haah...

Shuu: Pwaah...Like this, I can’t relax no matter where I go...

Reiji: You good-for-nothing...You shamelessly come walking up to me and that’s the first thing you say...?

Shuu: Nn...I’ll be over on that bench over there, so just come wake me up once you’re done shopping...

Reiji: At this point, your laziness has surpassed the point of being disappointing, it almost feels refreshing.

Shuu: Thanks for the compliment...Sleepy...

ー Shuu steps away

Reiji: It honestly is not even worth insulting him...

Subaru: Haah...The fuck is this farce? I want to go back home...

*SCENE SHIFT*

Ayato: Oi, Laito! Do you know what ingredients we need to make takoyaki?

Laito: It’s called takoyaki, so octopus is a given, right?

Ayato: I know that much as well!

But I want to make takoyaki like nobody has ever tasted before!

I’m gonna make so many of them, they’ll pile up all the way to the ceiling!

Laito: Nfu~ Sounds like something you would do. In that case, we need to stock up on plenty of ingredients.

Ayato: Yeah! We’ve got plenty of people with us to carry the bags!

Laito: If we’re going through the trouble of making them, it’d be a little dull to stick to normal takoyaki, right? ...Ah, how about this?

Ayato: Wasabi? Whatcha gonna do with that?

Laito: Fufufu, that’s something to look forward to at the party.

Ayato: ...This and these, also those over there...

Laito: Let’s put them all in our basket! I’m so excited, nfu~

*SCENE SHIFT*

Reiji: Honestly those triplets, always doing as they please...

Subaru, wait right here. I will go call them.

Subaru: Haah!? Why do I have to...Wait, oi!

ー Reiji leaves

Subaru: ...Haah. This grocery run is fucked up.

Shuu: ...

Subaru: This guy is seriously out here snoozin’...

Shuu: ...Shut up. I’m still awake.

Subaru: The fuck!? You’re actually awake...

Shuu: Haah...I just don’t want to move because it’s too much of a chore...

Subaru: Then why did you even join us in the first place...

Shuu: I could ask you the exact same thing...Pwaah...

Subaru: ...Che.

ー Subaru starts walking away

Shuu: ...Oh? Going home?

Subaru: Shut up. Leave me alone.

ー Subaru leaves

Shuu: ...

*SCENE SHIFT*

Subaru: ...

Kanato: Aah, as if on cue. Subaru.

Subaru: Che, goin’ home now after he said that just doesn’t sit right with me...

Kanato: Subaru.

Subaru: That bein’ said, I don’t want to just have to stand there and play supervisor either. I’m goin’ home because I want to.

Kanato: Subaru!

*Rustle*

Subaru: Ow, the fuck you doin’, bastard!?

Kanato: How many times do I have to call you before you come? Are those ears there just for decoration?

Subaru: Ah? I filter out that annoyin’ voice of yours.

So, what do you want?

Kanato: I’ve settled on the ingredients I want for the cake. Please carry the basket and follow me.

Subaru: Haah!? Why do I have to act as your personal carrier!? I was just ‘bout to head home!!

Kanato: What are you saying? The two of us are in charge of preparing the cake together, so it only makes sense for you to help out, no?

Subaru: You’re the one who wants to make that damn thing, aren’t you? Then shouldn’t you be carrying the basket yourself?

Kanato: I’m already holding Teddy. How am I supposed to do that?

Subaru: Aah!? I’m gonna punch you, you bastard!

Kanato: Punch me? You’ll ignore my request and hit me...? Even though you’re the one just standing around there, doing absolutely nothing?

Yet you trample all over my generous attempts to try and help you be useful...Who do you think you are!?

If you fail to understand that, then why don’t you punch yourself on the head instead? Come on, hurry up and do it!

Subaru: Haah...Shut up. Ahー Fine! I just have to carry your stuff, right?

Kanato: Hmph. ...You should have just done so from the very start. Right, Teddy...?

Subaru: Fuck off! I’m comin’ so shut up and show me the way!

Kanato: Fufu, it’s this way.

Subaru: Honestly...I seriously should have never tagged along...Fuck.

*SCENE SHIFT*

Reiji: ...That’s...

Subaru: ...

Reiji: Subaru. Why are you here?

Did I not tell you to wait by that bench over there earlier?

Subaru: Ah, geez! Stop naggin’ at me this whole time! I can go wherever I want!

Reiji: Do you not think you are at fault for not simply saying no earlier? Honestly, it’s always the youngest ones that cause trouble...

Subaru: Oi, you jerk. What didya say just now!?

Reiji: I only stated the truth. So, why are you on the move?

I gave you that task because I figured you would not want to have to walk around.

Take a look! I have brought Ayato and Laito along with me.

Ayato: Ah? 

Laito: Nfu~ You’re talking about us as if we’re your luggage~

Subaru: Not my fault! I’m not doin’ this ‘cause I want to! If you want to complain, then complain to Kanato instead!

Kanato: We’re going to buy the ingredients for the cake. You really are the very definition of a creep, trying to track my every move.

Reiji: ...

Ayato: Oi, Four-Eyes. I know what I wanna buy so gimme some cash.

Reiji: You sure have some nerve to ask me for money after you have been doing nothing but acting selfishly this whole time. Do you really think you can get away with that!?

Ayato: Ah? Why are you snappin’ at me? You’re such a cheapskate.

Kanato: Exactly. Why do you not try and keep your calm a little?

Laito: Nfu~ Perhaps you’re running a little low on calcium~? (4)

Reiji: ...

Subaru: ...

Reiji: ...Very well. Just do as you please. However, I do not intend to give you lot a single yen.

ー Reiji leaves

Ayato: Ah! Oi, wait! ...O-Oi, do any of you guys have some cash?

Kanato: Are you dumb? Why would I have money on me?

Subaru: Oi, what are we gonna do...

Laito: This is your fault, Ayato! Go apologize to Reiji!

Ayato: Haah!? Why do I have to say sorry!?

Kanato: That’s easy. Because you’re to blame for everything.

Ayato: Haah!? He was upset with you as well!

Laito: In that case, the two of you should go say sorry.

Kanato: Why are you trying to escape the blame when you’re the one who was together with Ayato in the first place?

Ayato: I’m never apologizin’!

Laito: Get going, you two.

Kanato: I’m not going either!

Subaru: Ahー God! Stop the damn arguin’! All three of you should go apologize!

Ayato: Why do I have to!?

Laito: Ehー?

Kanato: Under no circumstances!

Shuu: You guys are way too loud...You’re practically shouting for the whole store.

Pwaah...That being said...You’re still not done...?

*TIMESKIP*

Subaru: ーー There you have it. So Reiji, just give in already.

At this rate, we’ll never make it back to the manor.

Reiji: Even so, I cannot give in now.

Subaru: ...

Reiji: ーー However, right...I suppose I shall show my gratitude and let it slide this once. Although I have yet to hear an apology.

Ayato: What is this Four-Eyes goin’ on ‘bout?

Reiji: If you continue to call me that, I would not mind just heading home straight away.

Ayato: Che...

Reiji: Hmph...

Subaru, I will be joining the three of them.

Meanwhile you will go look for Shuu so the two of you can purchase the ingredients I need for my own dish.

Subaru: ...Hah? Why not just buy them yourself?

Reiji: Perhaps try using that brain of yours a little and you will realize that it is simply impossible to look for the items on my own list while also keeping an eye on those triplets at the same time.

Above all, I want to ensure that good-for-nothing at least does something as well.

Subaru: I don’t get it. I’m not doin’ anythin’, understood?

Kanato: How can you be so selfish?

Ayato: Exactly! Are you goin’ to ruin this whole thing ‘cause you’re being a selfish prick?

Laito: Reiji’s mood finally improved, but now Subaru-kun’s going to ruin it again?

Subaru: Fuck...What is your problem!?

Laito: It’s easy, no? If Reiji doesn’t give us any money.

We can’t buy the stuff we need for Bitch-chan’s birthday party, right? Ah-ah, I’m sure she would have been so happy as well.

Subaru: ...

Che...I just have to go buy that shit, right!?

*Flip*

Reiji: Very well. I have written down everything with the exact quantities I need on this note.

Subaru: ...You nitpicker.

Reiji: It would be bad to overbuy, no? Please call it effective instead.

I will pay for all ingredients together, so please wait in front of the cashier once you’re done.

*Rustle*

Subaru: ...Hmph.

ー Subaru walks off with the memo

*SCENE SHIFT*

Subaru: Shuu!! Wake up!

Shuu: How could I sleep under these circumstances...? You guys are really noisy...

Subaru: I have to go through this shit ‘cause you were loafin’ ‘round! Now get up and make yourself useful!

Shuu: ...Haah...Guess I have no other choice. I heard most of the conversation earlier, so I’ll make an effort to move today...

Nn...So, what do we have to buy...?

Subaru: This.

*Rustle*

Shuu: Haah, that’s quite the list...Subaru, you carry the basket.

Subaru: Haah!? You can go get it yourself, no!? Why is it always me!?

*TIMESKIP*

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: ...Nn...

( I wonder when I last got such a good night’s rest? )

( Usually, someone always barged in to suck my blood the second I try to go to bedーー )

*BOOM*

Yui: W-What was that!?

( That sound just now...I didn’t just imagine it, right? )

*BOOM*

Yui: A-Again!? Also, I can smell something burnt as well...

( I-Is everyone okay...? I should go check up on the situation... )

ー Yui tries to leave her room

Shuu: ...

Yui: ...S-Shuu-san! What is happening!?

( Why is Shuu-san lying on the floor in the middle of the hallway...!? )

*BOOM*

Yui: Another explosion...!?

Shuu-san, wake up please! ...Shuu-san!

( Oh no...He’s not waking up at all. There might actually be something wrong with him... )

Um, Shuu-san...! P-Please wait right here! I’ll go call someone else!

*Rustle*

Shuu: ...Shut up. ...Oh, it’s you.

Yui: Shuu-san...!

( T-Thank god. He was just asleep... )

Shuu: ...My muscles are sore...

Yui: Geez, it’s because you slept on the ground. More importantly, why are you here?

Shuu: Ahー... I have no other choice, do I? ...I have to keep an eye on you...

Yui: ...?

Shuu: ...No, it’s nothing.

*BOOM*

Yui: ( ...!! )

U-Um...Do you have any idea what these loud blasts are about...?

Shuu: Hm? Aah...You’re just hearing things. Now hurry back to your roomーー

*BOOM*

Shuu: ...

Yui: That sound again...!!

Shuu: ...Guess we’re not using the kitchen for a while after this...

Yui: Um, what did you say just now...?

Shuu: Nothing...Well, you can just continue sleeping, don’t let it bother you.

Yui: E-Easier said than done...

Shuu: Whatever, just go to bed....If not, that fussy guy will...

ー Reiji joins them

Shuu: ...Too late.

Yui: Ah, Reiji-san...!

Reiji: I came to check up on you because I could imagine you would be sleeping on the job again...

Yui: ( The job? What is he talking about? )

Reiji: You...You’ve woken up, I see?

Yui: Um, is something the matter? I’ve been hearing these explosions this whole time.

Reiji: No, it is nothing serious. You should return to your own room.

Yui: But, I’m worried about the others...

Reiji: Your concern is meaningless to us Vampires. Now get back to your room.

*BOOM*

Yui: A-Again!? Um, Reiji-san...?

Reiji: ...Haah, for god’s sake...

*SCENE SHIFT*

*BOOM*

Ayato: Uwaaah!? What the fuck’s happenin’!? Do somethin’ ‘bout this!!

*CRASH*

Laito: The fire, Ayato-kun! Hurry up and extinguish the flames!!

Ayato: You do that!!

Laito: Okay, here I go!!

*SPLASH*

Ayato: Oi, that’s damn cold...!!

Kanato: What are you doing!? It nearly got on Teddy!!

Ayato: Complain to Laito, not to me!!

Laito: Ahaha! My bad, my bad~! My hand slipped a little~

*Thud*

Ayato: Ah! Hot, hot, hot! Oi, this thing’s hella hot if you touch it!

Subaru: Oi, you fool!! Of course it’s gonna be hot...Che!

*SHATTER*

Kanato: Why do you keep on getting in my way, Ayato!?

Ayato: I’m not doin’ it on purpose either!

Kanato: Then get out of my sight! You’re in the way!

Laito: Uwah~ This situation keeps on getting worse and worse. I feel like it’s beyond saving at this point?

Subaru: Don’t be standin’ there makin’ a calm observation of the situation and do somethin’ ‘bout it instead!

Laito: Ah~ No chance! Once things stop exploding, we’ll just have to start over from scratch, okay?

Kanato: Don’t be ridiculous! Do you have any idea how much time and effort I put into getting this far!?

Ayato: Crap! I think it’s gonna boom again!

Subaru: Oi, idiot! Don’t come my way with that thing!!

*BOOM*

*CRASH*

Subaru: Fuckーー!! Which one of you bastards thought this was a good idea!?

*SCENE SHIFT*

*BOOM*

*CRASH*

Yui: ( I could faintly hear Ayato-kun and the others in the background. I’m sure they’re the ones behind these loud noises... )

( I have no idea what they’re doing, but I can tell that the manor is on the brink of destruction... )

Reiji: ...

Yui: ( Reiji-san’s temples are twitching...I’m pretty sure he’s infuriated...? )

U-Um...If there’s any way I can help out...

Reiji: ...No, that will not be needed. I will take care of it...

Yui: I see...

*BOOM*

*SHATTER*

Yui: ( Honestly, what is going on? I can still hear everyone shouting too... )

Reiji: Shuu, how long do you intend to sleep amidst this ruckus?

Shuu: ...Shut up, I’m awake. I’m doing the task given to me, no?

Yui: ...Task?

Reiji: Aah...It is nothing that should concern you.

I will come and call you later, so do not set foot outside of your room until then.

Yui: Eh? U-Um...

Reiji: Understood?

Yui: ( S-Scary...I probably shouldn’t ask any more questions, right? )

...Yes...

Reiji: Very well. Well then, good-for-nothing. You will be switching duties and head towards the kitchen with me.

Shuu: Haah...What a drag...

ー The two of them leave

Yui: ( ...What on earth is happening in this house? )

( However, I have no other choice but to return to my room after what Reiji-san told me, right? )

ー Yui goes back inside her room

Yui: ( I went back inside as I was told to, but... )

*CRASH*

Reiji: Ayato! Cut it out! What are you even trying to do!?

Ayato: I just...!!

*BOOM*

Ayato: Uwaaah! This damn thing exploded again!!

*THUD*

Yui: ( Don’t let it bother you, just ignore it... )

Subaru: Uwaah! The fuck you doin’, Kanato!? Don’t point that dangerous thing towards me! 

Kanato: ...Fufufu, I talked it over with Teddy, and we’ve decided to take down Ayato with this!

Laito: Then point it towards Ayato-kun instea...Uwaah!!

*BOOM*

*SHATTER*

Reiji: Ah, you lot...Stop this at once!!

Yui: ( Peace of mind...Positive thinking... )

Kanato: Ayato! Keep still and let yourself get hit!

Ayato: In your dreams!

Laito: Ooh~ Nice catch, Ayato-kun! Now dump it inside the water...

Ayato: Kanato, you should go ahead and blow up!

*BOOM*

Yui: ( ...Haah, I feel as if it just keeps on getting worse... )

( Speaking of which, I can’t hear Shuu-san at all. He can’t possibly be asleep amidst all of that...Right? )

( Even a Vampire would get hurt, no...? )

( Above all, it’s kind of rare for all of them to gather and do something together. )

( Hm...I honestly can’t imagine what they could be doing. )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) At Japanese high schools, they usually have a health committee with a representative in each class. This student is in charge of helping out during the physical examinations, will escort students when they are feeling ill or have injured themselves to the infirmary, etc.

(2) In Japan, it is quite common to say ‘I have received it’ when somebody hands you something. (People at stores might say it when you pay and give them the money as well.) However, the translation ‘Thank you’ just sounded more fluent and natural in English.

(3) 持ち場に着く or ‘mochiba ni tsuku’ usually gets translated as ‘to get to your station’ or ‘to get in position’. However, since some of them are actually moving places/leaving the house, I altered the translation a little. 

(4) I had never heard of this before, but I googled the terms ‘calcium deficiency’ and ‘irritation’ in Japanese and did find multiple articles talking about a possible link between a bad mood and lacking calcium.

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

[ Part 2 ] →

[teeforhee]

me @ my brain: dude I'm SORRY I stayed up till half ten reading newmann fanfic but YOU were the one that kept saying "what if u opened ao3 again?", reap what you motherfucking sow and don't punish me for it!!!

my brain: no more reality. we don't exist. we are playing a video game now and cars can't hit us. if we die we just respawn it's that simple bitch

me: can I have ONE normal day!??!??!

my brain: yes. yesterday. never again. no more reality <3

[molly4u-blog1]

Hello pals !! lets kick out your Depression

wwI don’t know if you are reading this or not but if u are then let me tell u that i cant help u get out from this ,i can only give directions so that you can win this situation 

so their are times when u want to give up everything and u feel like “why the hell am I living?” everybody at some point of time experiences this ,I myself have gone though this , and actually that’s the reason I WANNA HELP U OUT .

these are the 5 ways you can fight your depressed ass ....... lets get into this pals.

1)   okay so the first thing to do is to stop saying “why me ?”

There is a reason for everything , maybe you are the one who is even more strong than others , u gotta deal with it as this is what the philosophy of karma says , “what you sow , so shall u reap” , according to scientists depression is one of the reason why so many rapes , crisis , murder are happening inside the world.

almost 95%of the world is depression and the other 5% are prone to depression . things these days are getting even more worse , the only thing to do is to start accepting yourself and your karma , i know that its a bitch but this bitch is going to teach u lessons.

now coming to yourself i would suggest you to start accepting your fate. You can either accept it or change it .

2)  why do you care ? why can’t you just let go ?

yeah. why do you care ? stop fighting the people outside, they just know you , not your heart , mind and thoughts. I don’t know that you are understanding this or not but i wanna say that you are wrong pal , for proving people and explaining them the reason behind your sadness, the more you prove and repeat those sentences you will become even more depressed, they will understand or maybe not , you won’t know but you will surely end up being tired and even more melancholic 

the reason I am telling you to not explain much is because when you try to explain them , you are not explaining them you are just validating and justifying your reason to yourself because these things act like subliminal messages or negative thoughts to the brain or the subconscious mind, the brain will think that you want yourself to be sad and depressed and then it will produce certain hormones that will increase your depression even more so try to think positive.

yeah just like that !! :D

3)  you either have some problems with your physical or hormonal health.

Levels of certain hormones, such as those produced by the thyroid gland, can be factors in depression. In addition, some symptoms of depression are associated with thyroid conditions. The same is true about conditions related to the menstrual cycle, such as premenstrual syndrome (PMS),premenopause and menopause.

Because there is this connection between depression symptoms and other medical conditions, blood tests are often ordered to avoid a misdiagnosis. It is important to note that you can have both depression and thyroid conditions at the same time. It is also possible to have depression and menstruation-related symptoms.

i have given this information from: https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-the-thyroid-and-hormones#1

for further information you can go to this link and check it out 

4) you are allowing yourself to be depressed , stop doing that now !!! 

you: i never allowed, it comes automatically.

me: how do you know that it comes automatically? if u know it then of course you have allowed it to get inside you. that’s the truth,accept it dude!!

yeah its just like that , you must be having these thoughts now , “ what a crazy psycho bitch she is ” .

I get it pal , but actually that’s the crazy truth and reality of depression,it never ever comes automatically, u allow it , its just like happiness, like for eg if i get a new car next month , i would be happy but what if i just take tension about the prize, warranty, or its gonna have scratches or the worst that i may meet with an accident during my drive, so now i will get depressed instead of happy by thinking unnecessary thoughts about something.

stop allowing it to control you, if something is happening in your life then just think about the positive side, every bad thing has something good in it, if its not there then that’s a sign that you yourself have to find a reason to be happy. you will get a million reasons to be sad without finding it, but just one reason in a million reasons is just enough to burn the depression,but you have too take some efforts and find it.No matter how bad your life is just find a fucking reason to be happy , even if its a small one , like seeing your cat or dog play, having a wonderful day at work ( well that’s quite tough ) but u see that our daily lives have a lot of wonderful things which we don’t even notice and that’s the reason we end up being sad.

look how happy Mr Froggy is !! u gotta be like that though not jumping like him hahaha ! :D

5) maybe you are way too sensitive to evaluate your own emotions and control them by yourself 

It’s definitely true that we all have our sensitive moments. You’d be hard-pressed to find someone who hasn’t been devastated by a breakup or saddened by harsh criticism. But for HSPs, the bad news is that their physical and emotional experiences are always processed at such a constant, high intensity, that it can really shape their lives—often as much as gender and race do—and often in ways that don’t adhere to the expectations of an extroverted society. Things like job performance, friendships, and romances can be greatly altered when one feels all these stimuli so deeply.

If you, like myself and 20 percent of the population, fall into this category, you likely often feel isolated because you’re unable to enjoy (or even simply tolerate) certain tasks and activities in the same ways that your peers do. The good news: this isn't because you're disdainful or just plain difficult. Recent research has shown that these reactions are actually due to a slightly different chemistry in the brains of HSPs—notably, increased blood flow in the areas that process emotion, awareness, and empathy. So while your aversions may be difficult to accept at times, it’s important to understand that this is truly just the way you’re wired, and you honestly probably aren’t quite as weird as you think.

so always remember guys that you are not alone, just keep going and stay happy , i have copied this information from https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/i-am-a-highly-sensitive-person-heres-what-i-wish-more-people-knew-about-hsps

hope this helped you to fight back depression !! i am glad to help y’all.

hope you are satisfied !! :D

bye guys ...... see ya later

[monolid-monologues]

“personal best” on a Monday.

realizing my most motivating motivation comes from my failures. 

after a week of struggling extra-much  trying to balance my life (*trying* fuck) it’s safe to say all the W’s this week came with big L’s right underneath ‘em.

Less sleep clocked. Less chores done.  Laughably less progress on my outlying projects and jobs. 

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL A LALALALA 

You get it with the aLLiteration, yeah loL

It’s crazy because all the energy from last week is.. not really serving me this week at all. I feel super disjointed. 

All i can feel is how behind i am.

The Great Past:

Closing a wonderfully well received performance at the Long Beach Play House

going on a date for the first in forever and it GOES KINDA WELL (IMAGINE that, lol, and i hate dates)

celebrating with a new host of wonderful humans i am blessed to meet this year 

officially congregating a group of actors for Art Rat’s first company

IT WAS SO. FUCKING. GOOD. TO BE IN THE PRESENT. Of all those moments. Bet bet bet bet bet bet bet. 

BUT HERE WE ARE NOW.

Deflated from the other mounting deadlines. Because woooooooo life keeps trucking Or more accurately, in May i planned for the craziest hustle for the rest of my 2019 and i’m just reaping what i sowed, truly. 

* * *

 And actually, it’s never been my style to revel in the Great Past for too long.

I’m.......

much more habituated to allowing The End of Things and the Death of All Past Moments (this is to say i’ve gotten awfully too good at good byes..)

too ambitious to look back and feel complete.  when do i? feel complete? i feel complete when..... ............ ....get back to you on that.......

* * *

Pro tip for future rose: You need To Schedule Your God DaMn Personal Holidays. And you need to commit to carrying out those holidays. And I mean  HOLIDAY bitch. A break from everything. everything. everything. Everyone. EVERYONE. And just be. truly alone. not alone but online. ok? Alone - unplugged - In Your Self - Alone. 

I need that. my god. i so need that.

* * *

i’m writing today because it’s incredible the way The Exhaustion of the Hustle can eclipse the most incredible joyous memories from just days ago. 

Not that The JOY has been lost. But that --  You know the Fuel you might imagine such happiness could carry a person ? Like That was a Great week, Let me coast on that energy for the entirety of the next week --  nope. Doesn’t work like that. Not if you got goals you know you want and haven’t hit yet.   it’s not really fair, huh? 

Well, u could say it’s also not really fair to think you can Drop Your Balls hoping your past greatness has generated enough energy to fuel a great future.  Today, the universe kindly and sternly reminds me: No.  You are what You Are Day, to Day, to Day. Work in, Work out. You are no more your past Wins, any more than you are Today’s Sucky Mood. Hear me?  You are not your worst moments;  You are not your happiest moments;  You are in motion.

* * *

i’m writing today because the moments preceding my writing were low. even when the moments just before that, were so high. anyway: think me heels dragging. total toast. berry berry burnt. now me. picking myself up, as i like to do. as i know and i love. because i’ve learned the act of picking oneself up - to Decide to Do That - is surprisingly invigorating in and of itself.

It’s not easy and i’m not naive - i know how the rest of Monday today unfolds  and how the rest of my week unfolds is still so, so vulnerable to all my bad habits, stresses. The battle to fight my loathing for The things I Have to Do but Don’t want To raageeeees on. But looking towards what’s invigorating: the power in these hours are in my hands. 

Future Resolutions: 

+ time management skills

balance > binge

P.S.

the pain and agony of discontent is really, really tricky. Don’t let it eat you. Not one bite.   Love, Rose

[benjaminhunter]

wow dont read this if youre gonna unfollow for me speaking a bit abt my life situation btw even if the whole thing sounds so much like a 15year old narcissistic cunt’s post venting about their emo problems and their ‘i hate my fucking life’ stick like i used to vague about on scattered fanfic french blogs; look ill get over myself ! sooner than you think ! but i havent made a really personal post on this blog in a while cos it felt.. useless and self pitying in the wake of the really upsetting suffering i see on my dash, from the mutuals i consider friends and the political situation that i kinda want to escape from? but even then. that feels self pitying. and also its almost 8 am so no one will see the bs im posting. so  anyway an update on my thrilling life ! my moods have been flickering between extreme anger and complete exhaustion ! obssessively checking social medias of artists i really looked up has transformed the feeling of admiration i felt into complete beatdowns of myself, always comparing myself to them and rejecting everything decent i made.. getting angry over ship content for absolutely no reason when ive always been the type to be ‘oh fuck it live and learn’; now my anger is making me feel like im expecting ppl to draw content for a f/f rarepair and when this rarepair is overshadowed by huge het or m/m popular pairs i get pissed off, storm and brood about it, feeling like im a child throwing a tantrum ! so thats fun !!!!!!!!!!! lol !!!!!!!!! all my insecurities flooding back because the dam is damn broke when ive been taping it the best i could over the past years. so im feeling intense jealousy at talented artists finishing their projects and starting new ones, and w/ mikus 10th bday coming up and everything- it feels like when youre following your multiplayer guild’s quest in a mmorpg but with bad internet. theyre accomplishing so much and im. here? what? what achievement do i have for myself? oh yeah. i played dr:ae at least ten times. and yet i still couldnt find the energy to make decent dr:ae fanart. its awful. its terrible ! and my asshole dad feels like he can strut all he want because i chickened out on calling the cops on him that one time and hes been even more verbally abusive, although the good side is hes not hitting me or my sis anymore. i guess pulling a knife on him once when hes done so on me so many times impressed him a bit, yknow, the snake that comes back to bite you in the ass? you reap what you sow bs? yeah. so no more slaps or punches, which is good. i guess he yells more and lashes out at the dog, which is terrible, but he hasnt been a complete ass to the rabbit, mostly because hes too lazy to come upstairs and kick chaussette’s cage or smash stuff off the shelves i guess. still the wifi is Very bad cos obvs my parents are hogging the bandwidth, the weather is bad, my sis and i dont have money to fish out of our purses to go to the pool, the library is closed & friends are either working or on holiday away with their families, also our teacher just confirmed that there will be an entrance exam at the start of year2 and i need to get stellar grades to get into the teacher course,so im wasting my eyes frantically speedrunning japanese grammar basics from year1; while my moms accusing me of being selfish for not wanting to go on a stupid 2week trip when i want nothing to do with her and my dad. my ex’s situation is still hanging over my shoulders, that bitch is still cursing me beyond the grave shes been digging and the shit morons that are her friends are still trash talking me, make ‘triggerd memes ;)))’ about me which is fine i guess :)) at least im not lurking their every tweet & post they do so my head is mostly clear on that, the trick is not to think about it or else it WILL fuck me up.. u got other worries like im worried about getting a job even and im worried about celeste’s job and while i know she definitely can handle herself im afraid of drunks coming into her store, have been ever since i started living with one, so theres that lel. 

im glad i got to spend some time with suke and yura and manon before we parted ways two weeks ago, and celeste i ever so sweet.. its been 1 (one) whole year since weve been together although it feels like ive loved her for .. way longer than this so. like if i could get one wish rn, it’d be to get to leap across the ocean so i could be physically close to her and enjoy some time w/ her. get you a girl who gives you butterflies like that, man. shit. wow wow chica bow wow this is long winded and whiny and ill probably regret ever writing that

[borntoslay]

I MEANT TO WRITE + POST THIS IN SEPTEMBER 2016 SO IT WOULD BE A YEARLY CHECK-IN, SINCE THE LAST ONE I DID WAS SEPTEMBER 2015, AND THE ONE BEFORE THAT WAS SEPTEMBER 2014... BUT I WAS REALLY BUSY SO HEAr we go:

When we last left off (September 2015), I had JUST starting my 4th album, “Better,” written in the wake of realizing I had fallen into depression again! I was scared and confused, but above all else, I was MAD that this was happening AGAIN. It seemed like literally every single year around the same time, I would always just accidentally slip into a minor-moderate depression, and have to spend the rest of the year clawing my way out... (it was only in late 2016 that I realized it is probably SEASONAL depression... like... DUH...)

Enter “Better,” an album literally written to pull me out!

(disclaimer: again, not a singer, just someone who writes songs as a hobby + likes to sInG LOL! Bolded lyrics are the ones that are featured in the following video)

00:00 – BETTER

00:53 – BLOOM

01:53 – MASC 4 MASC

 / / / / – BRAVO

03:51 – Y.A.S. (YOU AIN'T SHIT)

05:02 – WITH YOU

 / / / / – #TOOMUCH

05:59 – I'M OVER IT

07:50 – GET OFF YOUR PHONE, BITCH!

10:58 – I'M NOT THE ONE

BETTER

The first track, Better, was done in like, 20 minutes, the very first night I realized what was happening back in August 2015. I already posted the full thing that week, but I’ve included the best bits in the above video.

Based off of Bleachers’ I Wanna Get Better, obviously

It’s been day-in, day-out, another drama I’ve been hiding out under the covers Let it go, professional, you’re flexible, incredible, and unforgettable I haven’t been on the weather lately As people go, and the times are changing And I don’t feel like a winner (I wanna get better!) / But it’s such a pain, when it’s all been stuck the same And my fears are rising, but still, I try not to let them get to me / Guess when depression’s in question I just invest in expression Turn heartache into a lesson It’s your discretion to say: I WANNA GET BETTER!

BLOOM

This song was written the same week in August 2015 after having recently reconnected with several people I had met back in 2011; 3 of which had all, separately, told me things along the lines of “I can see you are BLOSSOMING!” and “You really are BLOOMING!”

I’ve always known that I do take a little more time than others to do most things, but it was during that month that I really started to realize that I am a late-bloomer—and that’s ok!

BLOOM was based off of a K-pop song some of y’all may know. I don’t listen to K-pop because I don’t understand any of it, so I tried my hand at writing over this fun instrumental. What I like to do is pull instrumentals of moderately popular songs I’ve never heard before, write my own lyrics + melody over it, and then when I’m finally done with mine, I give the “real” version a listen. In some cases, I feel I have outdone the original, but in this case, I think the original was way better, even without being able to understand it! LOL But I also like what I did with it, too.

My roots have always been a little too sheltered, It didn’t matter if the rain ever came. Not always Great, but I was born Alexander, Wondering how I would live up to my name

And though it took a little while, people compliment my smile and the things that’d get me labeled as “strange” So now I’m planted and a little self-centered with barely any room to re-renovate

Cuz when I do, all of you will direct me to Some other thing I’m not winning Say what you may, but I’m Born To Slay Impossibly From beginning, to the end, But I guess that I missed why You dismissed my assistance’swhy Deep inside me wants to try be Something shiny and now I’m ready to bloom

Don’t assume  I’m too stubborn for this cuz I’m Not a prude,  I just Never Been Kissed and I never knew what the hell I was missing

Combined with why I wanna try To find a guy To enterprise A YOLO mentality So I can gro-ow substatially I know my show’s been a tragedy Cuz I was just a little late to bloom

Don’t get stressed about it, just aim to try Plant the seeds and weed Parasites And set your sights higher Remain inspired Let the spotlight ignite your desires

And rise from the soil Cuz you’re in control Just follow your dreams And reap what you sow

/

I just tried it A little too slowly And I’ll be The first to admit I’m still growing

Nobody can take what you’re taking the time to Outwardly reshape what’s mistaken inside you So don’t hesitate when your greatness is valued And don’t let a date, or a lack thereof undo your bloom

/

Some things are better faster And others take longer to master In which case it’s better late than never So do whatever it takes to be Better

MASC 4 MASC

This is one of the only songs I have ever publicly posted in full, during the week I wrote it. This song literally just CAME to me the week I joined Tinder/Grindr, as I hopelessly scrolled through all of the depressingly bleak profiles and saw the amount of self-hate everyone seemed to have while still managing to like themselves enough to be looking for hookups with strangers. I laid down to take a nap and within the first 15 seconds of lying down, I just heard a lingering voice in my head say “Looking.... Are you looking...?” Shot my ass up, wrote + recorded the whole song in about an hour, and posted it.

Based on C2C,  O B V I O U S L Y !

I’ve changed some of it since that post, and most of those changes are in the above video.

Looking Are you looking Looking out to find a dick to fill your ass? While excluding any asians, fems, or fats Cuz you’re limited to looking Masc4masc

Looking I am looking But I never seem to get a second glance Every gay man never seems to take a chance Cuz they’re limited to looking Masc4masc

Oh, I love my Lady Gaga You could say that I’m a stan But that always seems to stop ‘em when they’re looking masc4masc

And I’m not into straight-acting Cuz I’m proud of who I am But my sisters know that cis-men only look for masc for masc

I’m a catch Too bad you won’t ever see What it’s like to be With someone like me

Cuz you’re Looking Yeah, you’re looking Only looking cuz you’re tired of your hand But you’ll never find “The One” in “one night stand” Cuz you’re limited to looking Masc 4 Masc

Picky You’re so picky Use your preferences to mask your prejudice You want a guy to come around And you get mad when you don’t find ‘im

But we all know That you were never really looking for anything other than a reflection fitting your narrow mind

It’s a shame You’re gay but you’ll never try Try dating outside of muscled and white

Cuz you’re looking Yeah, you’re looking Looking out to find a dick to fill your ass But you’ll never really find your happiness

Cuz you’re hypocritical and Self-hating and fuckin’ Limited to looking Masc 4 Masc

You’re the bottom I’m not into Fucking around with the Shallow ass that you got #Thot

BRAVO

Thanks to Tinder, I had my VERY first date EVER (at age 23!) back in November 2015 with a very nice gentleman who was ALSO an artist, and mutually supportive of ALL of my art forms—my digital painting, my traditional painting, even painting my face! We had a sweet dinner, and then... I never heard from him again!

Bravo was, in some ways, referencing Applause, in the idea that although I would have loved to be with him, I did not need his support (or, “bravo”) if he didn’t want to be with me. (His name also rhymed with the word “bravo” lol). I Will Survive is also referenced because... duh!

I didn’t include a snippet in the video because it’s obviously a really personal song, so the personal meaning is MUCH stronger than the execution LOL

Guess I’m never certain who wants to curtain-pull As my bravo  [meaning, who wants to be there for me at the end] My ******o [his name]

/

At first I was afraid, it took all of me To realize I would still survive without your artistry I could Paint The Night Away, standing tall without a change And I grew strong, ‘cause you won’t get to me today!

/

Yeah, you’re an actor; you made me believe That you would want a girl who keeps her heart on her sleeve But I’m a master of making them leave; The only thing you got away with’s carrying out my routine

/

I’m lonely, but like a flower bouquet I’d rather not be picked at all if I’ll just wither away

/

One second I’ll be waiting, suddenly the weight is me I don’t need you in my heart, And I do not need ****i [his nickname]

Y.A.S. (You Ain’t Shit)

(Created on one of my go-to beat-maker’s beats!)

Post-2013, my goal with writing my music has never been to write a “hit” or anything super commercial or anything for anyone else to consume (especially since I stopped posting + sharing my music altogether, so anything I write is literally JUST for me!)... however, after I came up with this title, this song was to be my MOMENT.

The first verse plays off the mythology of the “YAS,” with Gaga being clamored by the paparazzi and her screaming fans, being a metaphor for all my photos and the attention I was getting on social media from a guy I was talking to and had plans to date almost weekly between September 2015 and December 2015, but never did. As the song goes, I didn’t feel like he was reciprocating the thoughts + feelings I had for him, (“so there goes that potential date”) but whenever I would post something on Instagram, he would like it IMMEDIATELY, and then literally go all the way back YEARS into my posts, and start liking all of my old selfies, my old artwork, EVERYTHING. “When I’m Instagramming, you spam me, and we never even met yet.”

The line about “receipts” is about me screencapping every piece of dialogue I have and sending it to my hunties to help me figure out if this guy even liked me! The line “On to the next one” was told to me when one of those friends saw the receipts and really didn’t think that this guy was interested (and he was right! We’ll get to this part of the story later...)

Cameras are flashin’ And I can’t imagine It any other way I’m not into fashion But I’m so obsessed with You looking in my way

And I’m like, Buzz-buzz, ho! [I used to say this as I was waiting for Grindr messages] Hey, don’t you know I’m tired of getting old alone And I just wanna find a man Who really understands

And I don’t feel that reciprocation So there goes that potential date but When I’m Instagramming You spam me And we’ve never even met yet (YAS)

You Ain’t Shit You’ll never get with this You’re such a tragedy, And the gravity of the sit. is in The way your basic ass Is making me swipe left You ain’t shit On to the next one

You Ain’t Shit You’ll never be victorious Just a B.S. masterpiece But I’m pulling at your seams and You’re even less than what you seem

I know ur trying hard 2 Outshine me, but I’m a star U R an asteroid and coming forth [he is to be a huge part of my life] But I glow in the dark [but I’ll always be special with or without him]

U can’t stand next 2 me, U C, I Can’t keep sending these receipts, Y can’t U text me W/o the sexting [not about him, but about Tinder/Grindr in general] Ur making me wanna scream

(Y.A.S.!)

/

I always think that you’re the one But just as quickly as it comes You Ain’t Shit On to the next one

WITH YOU

I wrote this in November of 2015, and it’s one of the most personal + vulnerable things I’ve ever created. I think this song is the absolute hardest to listen to of anything I’ve ever written because whenever I hear it, I almost immediately fall right into the mindset I had while writing it. It’s about trying your hardest to see a really powerful friendship through, while realizing that as you’ve been trying to help him be “happy again,” you yourself aren’t very happy anymore, either.

/

Hey Don’t cry I know that you don’t need me in your life

But I’ll stay Cuz I Know you’re scared to know you’re always on my mind

And I’m gonna live like this forever Or at least until you’re Better

Cuz when I’m with you I can see the sadness in your eyes But you smile when I smile So it’s nice to know that you’re fine again

When I’m with you I can feel the colors all around And I miss the way it used to be Cuz I’m dying to be happy again

#TOOMUCH

You keep me close, then you let me go, Say you need me then treat me like garbage But I’m not your bitch, And I’m sick of picking up and paying for empty luggage

I’M OVER IT

This song ended up being what Y.A.S. was supposed to be: it’s fun, it’s written well, and as if that wasn’t enough, I also produced the entire thing! It’s a song collectively about all 4 of the guys I went on dates with or even seriously talked to between late 2015–early 2016, but was specifically written about 2 dates I had in particular in January 2016...

Because I’m a FREAK, I literally record all of my first dates (in the event that that person ends up being THE ONE, so I could play it back at our 25-year vow renewal ceremony... Also because I just have a bad memory and wanted to take notes like in class LOL. So basically, less than mid-way through both of these January 2016 dates, while the other guy was preoccupied or in a different room, I mumbled into my phone “... yeah........ i’m over it............................” In fact, after the date with the Y.A.S. guy, I got in my car and recorded what became the chorus to this song.

All the clips in the above video are of me before all 4 of my first dates; the 5th one is of the only SECOND date I went on LOL! More on him in the next album...

You watch me as I’m walkin’ on by And I scream, but I keep it inside I’m sweet and a creeper, a bonafide keeper And you’re really lookin’ my type

I bite my lip as I’m writin’ to ya And sweat when I try to pursue ya But my first dates never leave the home plate So I’m safe not trying to reproduce

You can seduce me a little if you want I’m a little iffy but Not afraid to get what I want And you’re the one I want Like Travolta And I can play the part Like a Mozart

So I make the most of our time You got me at my prime As you rolled out of bed Looking lazy

Said you wanna do it again I said maybe, But in my head, I’m like, “baby, you’re crazy, ‘cause I said—

Ooh, I’m over it Not interested and Ooh, I can’t pretend You’re not overplayed and Ooh, you’re overrated But I can’t complain Cuz you ain’t worth the time of day I’m over it and on my way

You said you wanna meet up But don’t put your feet up yet Don’t get comfortable Fake ham, fake cheese, so Lunchable  And I ain’t fighting, don’t want your bull [I LOVE THESE LINES]

But irresponsibly, I agree to meet you And when the day comes you’re silent You can apologize But you’re wasting your time It’s already been decided I guess Ooh, I’m over it

/

Baby baby I’m over it now Took time but I came to find you’re subar And I’m sobering down No crying when I say goodbye, cuz it’s over

You’re overrated I can’t complain Cuz you never meant a thing to me I’m racking my brain Cuz I can’t believe that I Even bothered trying to meet you

'Cause baby you had your chance, But you blew it I won’t second-guess Cuz I knew it I decided while driving in on the first date You weren’t great And I coped with it

So I bit my tongue Tried to have fun But you weren’t the one And I moved on Don’t need YOU What u gon DO When you send a text but I’m over it, BOO?

GET OFF YOUR PHONE, BITCH!

I also produced this entire song myself, though some of it it sounded a lot like You Know I’m No Good by Amy Winehouse, so I make reference to it in the end.

Parts of this song are about a particular person + incidents I had with him, but for the most part, it’s about a lot of people and situations in general. For example, one of my dates was on his phone for work. Understandable. One of my dates was on his phone scrolling through Instagram while I was talking. Not so understandable. When I’m talking to a friend in the car, I don’t even touch my phone. When I’m at dinner with friends or lunch with coworkers, I ALWAYS put my phone away. Scrolling through social media when someone is right next to you is insulting! So much so that I wrote a fucking song about it.

Hey You called about way too late I’m finally unafraid To say that I’m already home right now, so go figure it out

I’m not made To wait on your ass all day I’m free of that brown nose stain

I know it’s not my duty I’m putting down my phone like I’m about to watch a movie

It’s not OK When you are LOOKING At someone’s PHOTOS For that like BUTTON A millennial cliché And you aren’t even listening to me,

Look at ME And how you never answer ME If you’re always on your phone?

I can see it so hell, I assume you know well And you’re ready for what Imma say, OK:

Get off your phone, bitch! Listen when I'm talking I'm calling you out I know it isn’t that impossible following Conversation I’ve been patient I’ve been feeling alone Cuz you’re always on your Fucking phone, bitch! Introversion ain’t that cute I know you manage Speaking and I ain’t that stupid And you know it Don’t condone it So fucking press Log Out And put that finger down Get off your phone bitch

I’m not waiting for that SMS And I guess that The best you got Ain’t a lot No question

I rest on pretty You awake and trying And in a video I stay outshining And in a room Crowded front to back Side to side I do make the room light up systemizingly-so I said it before I’m Born To Slay, what’chu here for?

Information age is the present And I get it, and know it won’t change And I’m hesitant to let it You wanna look at screens? You can FaceTime You wanna be with me? You can make time You wanna be with me? Put your phone down I’ll give you the third degree if I’m snowed out

Fuck that misty eye Kiss that bitch goodbye I got bigger fish to fry

I said, I’m all for being cheesy But I'm lactose intolerant When the girls I be following Share their lives like an ottoman Sectionally displaying [an ottoman is a couch that can be displayed in sections] Whether the moment's a monument Blowing smoke up their confidence While my belly is bubbling

I don't like being hollered at If I'm just gonna be ignored 'Cause trust me, you need it more Like that hat you can't afford I'm an image of an winner, while you're out trynna score But you're boring, baby I don't wanna play anymore

/

Met you outside, by my parking stall You start your phone up as I start my car I said “What did you do at work today?” And wait in silence as you scroll away...

So I confess like a pretzel, [this is an inside joke] I think, “I can’t believe you’re an asshole” By the time I take you home, I’m pressed as hell, only heaven knows—

I don’t give a fuck ‘Bout your busted shoe I told you get off your phone, bitch And now, I’m off of you

I’M NOT THE ONE

Continuing my exercise of writing over songs/verses I felt were badly written, I wrote over the first verse of Meghan “you really think I can be replaced, nah, I’m come from outerspace” Trainor’s Lips Are Moving, and this is, I think, the best verse I have ever written! It’s sassy, it’s concise, and it’s catchy as HELL!

This is about all the guys on the dating apps that you thought had potential, but, for whatever reason, end up not responding to your messages until they’re bored/horny again.

The title, “I’m not the one” goes both ways, in Alyssa’s context, I’m saying “you pissed off the wrong bitch,” but in my own context, I’m saying that as these guys aren’t made for me, I, too, am not “the one.”

I seen that read receipt and I know That you ain’t meant for me Survival of the fittest In the Guinness book you’re best at being the biggest douche and I guess that

You f-ed it up: RuPaul Cuz when you’re alone you call

But I don’t fuck with you Had enough And you ain’t enough to get off to

Thought you could be the one I wanted to care for That I’d try to be there for, however I’m kinda getting tired of your piles of bullshit And I don’t need you, so, whatever

I’m getting tired Of all your bullshit Tell me, do you think I’m dumb?

Down to the wire, You’re fucking useless Don’t you try to try me I’m not the one!

Get out my face! Get off your dashboard Done with all your messing around

I said I’m tired Of all your bullshit Baby baby, I’m not the one/

You’re fucking stupid You’re fucking useless Sick of your bullshit And I’m tired, tired, tired, baby

Honey honey, I don’t think you wanna try me I think you’re bound to find me unpleasant Oh no no no, there is no way you could ever satisfy me I’m grown and you’re so pre-pubescent

You’re such a little fuckb0i And I think I’ve had enough, I wannaToss you in the garbage disposer If you chase me imma mace you I wanna just erase you But not till you get full disclosure:

I said I’m tired Of all your bullshit (repeat)

/

Maybe you just aren’t the right one.

This is the closing piece to this album, which started and ended when I started and finished dating/trying dating apps for the first time (September 2015–August 2016). It was a fucking WEIRD time in my life! LOL Not my GREATEST album, but I like it, and there are a lot of things that I’ve learned from it. One day I’ll tell the story about the worst date in my life because I learned more from that one meeting than I have in the last 6 years! LOL

Anyway, I’m just 2 songs away from finishing my NEXT album, which has tentatively been called “SNAP.” All my “albums” have 10 tracks each, and just consist of songs written during that 1-year period. This next album is, as of right now, my favorite! I can’t wait to share Son of a Bitch and Just a Little Piece of Garbage with you guys... I think they’re both in the top 10 of the best songs I’ve ever written!!!!!

To give you an idea of how things are going so far (in comparison to my own work):

Born to Slay (February–May 2013) – 1/5 Delusional (June 2013–April 2014) – 2/5 Intelligent & Beautiful (May 2014–July 2015) – 4.5/5 Better (August 2015–September 2016) – 4/5 SNAP (August 2016–present) – 4.5/5