#bipolar rage

[remyxavierr]

You can leave your halo at the entrance.

Woke up irritated as all fucking hell this morning. I think I hate this part of bipolar the most. I'm so volatile on these types of days. I either have to stay high the whole day or keep headphones on constantly and avoid everyone. So inconvenient.

[genderless-salt]

I wish I could just be mad at people. Instead I have to hate their guts and wish they and I were both dead

[ovrmymind]

I didn't realize bipolar rage was a thing.

I mean, I did, hahahah

But I thought I made it up.

Don't catch me when I'm raging, it's not pretty.

[intravenous-paranoia]

I have been so fucking angry at everything and anything, i want to kill

[autismsharkstuff]

ima just leave this here

Too much. Overstimulated and overwhelmed and over and under and up and down and die inside and do it all again. Too much. A hulk-like transformation told me an hour ago (a lifetime ago) that I’m not out of the woods. Nothing matters. Jesus fuck, nothing matters. I want to peel my skin off layer by layer until there’s no barrier between me and the unsafe, shitty, stupid fucking world. Remove each layer until there’s nothing to contain my ME and my chaos is assimilated into the world’s chaos. I’m livid (at nothing), too angry to hold a pen even though I’d rather be handwriting this, not that it matters because every typo my clumsy fucking fingers make push me further into the abyss. Episode ain’t over, huh? I’m confused. Perpetually unfocused (don’t get me started on how that impacts my self-worth). I’m sad. Mad. FUCK am I mad. Without reason. Without validity. Without purpose, without any semblance of a clue that might give me a heads up on how to fucking shitting FIX this. Nothing matters. I’m still bipolar. I’m sick of censoring myself. This is unending unceasing under-explained. They have to see the reality. I want them to. I need them to. Why do I bother. Why do I bother with anything but on my mind in this very pointless second? Why do I bother sealing pill after pill morning and night if I’m still pathetically insane? When will this enddddd when will at least THIS round end??? Are episodes ever “over,” or does the space between their peaks just somehow seem to gain enough distance, enough to fool you into thinking one ends and another begins…when really it’s just a continuing onslaught of bullshit? I’m angry.

[darkpoetryshop]

Cannibalism is a metaphor for love

[local-limebug]

adhd is an emotional storm and NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT !!! like... executive dysfunction and forgetfulness and time blindness and all are a huge part of it and i see those being talked about all the time but no one fucking talks about the depression, the risk seeking, the hyperactive thinking, the things understimulation can lead to, like?? ADHD IS HELL. AND ALL ANYONE FUCKING TALKS ABOUT IS HYPERFIXATIONS.

[everyone-is-emptyy]

[getfreeviolet]

when in doubt (depressive episode), reread girl in pieces for the 20th time

[nightndaydreaming]

Don’t worry, I will never over exaggerate my place in anyone’s life again

[4mookiecookie20]

5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch is so funny like wdym im literally dying i cant feel anything

[mothseatinghumanflesh]

[morgan-angel]

BPD rage sucks sm.

You feel like everything is against you and your life, but you keep that buried anger to yourself. Because you have to.

Until one day. Until one day, it explodes.

And you say EVERYTHING, the same things you kept in your head for ages. You say it with litteral rage, ugly crying, with no commun sense but just passionate and relevant speech.

The following day, you wake up to "that" and... You can't handle the stupidity of that crisis. All you did was insulting, screaming, being angry and annoying to the people you said you love. Just for the tiniest things – even the big issues are mixed with terrible insults and screams, and made the other feels guilty and terribly worried.

I'm so tired of myself. All the people I love will eventually go away with me acting like that. I feel so freaking guilty. Too much that I can't even talk to them.

I just want to exist and feel loved...

Worst part of BPD rage is that... It's never ending. It's a vicious circle. All these thoughts will come again. Because we freaking need therapy. Better environment. We need real love, support, a stable life and friends/family/partner.

I'm so sorry. I feel so bad. I'm crying everyday. It ruins my life. It ruins life of other people.

I'm just a burden for people's lives.

Let me go away for ever.

For ever...

.

.

.

[healingwgabs]

does anyone else who's experienced extended periods of severe paranoia find it really awkward to be around ppl after the fact... like i thought u were trying to k*ll me for sooooo long? lol how r u though? like idk how to act fr guilt delusions in addition to this just means u get worse for having any bad thoughts, or feelings regarding those who you think r hurting you (no splitting, or psychotic rage that is potently there and killing you allowed) and your responsible for things going on around you this is also a really traumatic and confusing thing to go through

[loveofentropy]

i have cried every last tear, and exhaled as many sighs as i can.

now what remains is a pent up rage with a hunger for the promise to make it out alive.

no matter how many times i regress and want to curl up into a ball so i cannot be perceived by a world that hates me anymore,

i always wipe the tears that follow up with the rage to prove myself, to love myself, to escape a self i never was;

and with that comes the words,

“i live because i can’t die.”

[borboleta-expurgada]

Thank you for hating me as much as I hate myself.