#bipolar life

[lullxbyblue]

I can’t do this anymore but I have to and that fucking enrages me

[mariposas8494]

Things folks need to know…🫶🏻

[crps-chronicpain-ptsd]

Sorry guys it’s been a while .Life has been a shit show to say the least . So many new medical issues to add to my list , some I’m still waiting to face and get thru . Then there’s life that’s thrown so many curve balls at me , I’m actually surprised I’m still standing On the outside I’m the usual “I’m fine” . When in reality I could break inn100000 pieces at any second and that scares me . It’s been so hard to even write here as I’ve been wearing that mask even in moments alone in safe spaces and rightly so I’m in tears just getting this paragraph out . Literally NO-ONE around me understands how hard it is to live in pain 24/7 . Saying I’m fine , trying to live a life as normal as you can has actually worked against me - they forget until the promised flare arises. 2 of my daughters are killing me slowly but deeply how can Someone you love more than yourself that you gave birth too ,carried for 9months that you willingly sacrifice your own life for theirs be so cruel ?. I’m the first to put my hand up and saying haven’t been the mother I dreamt about that i planned to be THat FUKKN hurts -all that aside over a decade with this suicide disease crps has made sure to take more than just me, I do TRY to remind my Myself that I did the best I could with the cards I was dealt with . Most to my own detriment ,flares pain meds a willing sacrifice.ive never claimed to be perfect but it tears me up inside more than they know . Ps I have. Grandson who is also 7 months that I’ve NEVER MET. My heart breaks and so many times I want the earth to just swallow me up and DIE .

Sorry my first post back should have been uplifting filled with hope to help being the fighters warriors that we are

If I’d waited till that day it may have never come

Sending healing vibes and love to all.

[always-me-meha]

I just donno how to escape....

This hell inside my head.

This emptiness.

This desire.

These cravings.

[ovrmymind]

[dokurtybitz2]

23.03.24_12:38

Tweaking out,

My thoughts race about,

Not wanting to settle,

Manic time with all that it brings,

Clamp down tight

As it wiggles out the cracks,

Bury it beneath

THC haze,

Riding out the tide

Through my exhaustion

[subtle-carrot]

Me: My current medication is giving me a sexual dysfunction.

Doctor: Oh, try this one then.

Me, after a week: Well this one makes me miserable.

Doctor: Oh, try this one [that's even more likely to give you a different sexual dysfunction] then.

Me:

Doctor:

[primobamagirl]

Hello, my name is Primobamagirl Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I am goffik (prepz FUKK OFF OK?!)

I've been on Tumblr since the ye old days, when people were here as users and not emotional and cultural hostages. Now, I am but one of many with Stockholm Syndrome who return back to the sweet and familiar darkness of The Hellsite (™). I've had about four hundred thousand accounts. I guess this is my four hundred thousand and first.

It started innocently enough, with fandom memes and early-aughts Goth nostalgia, maybe the occasional politico rally cry. But it is a slippery slope and now, deep into my 30's, I have morphed into a chronically ill, semi-misanthropic, mushroom growing, polyandrist psychonaut. I am literally with two men so archetypal of the early Tumblr Sexy Man trope that is it slightly humiliating. I have green hair and patience like rice paper.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

P.S. Always looking for my Behcet's Babies, Arthritic Angels, Bipolar Brethren and Diabitches...I am so Type 1 that I did it twice. Just five more years, right my pancreatically challenged friends?

P.S. Remember, kids, Tumblr is for reblogging and following...use that 'like' button sparingly, or the Tumblr Staff wins! 😘

[gamineimp]

bipolar solidarity 🤍

[destroyingeverythingold]

Ok mania is gone.

Everything that felt possible feels impossible and i am embarrased and sad and broken and hurting like hell

[lullxbyblue]

I want to stop taking all of meds so fucking bad

[admiralatthebowofnails]

Sleep: 3/46 hours

Food: Just consumed a slice of pizza. Maybe hungry? Maybe dehydrated? Maybe tired

Physical: Stuffy nose. Awake. Horizontal. Dry, itchy, and greasy. Missing doggy snuggles

Meds: Took first dose of last 3 about an hour ago

Mood: Flat but open

Neurochemical: Starved for serotonin and melatonin. Can no longer remember the taste is dopamine

State: Crashing from maniac episode

Directive: Sleep

Possibility: 96% sleep, 4% fucking around on phone for a few more hours

[always-me-meha]

I'm like commenting away on peoples posts 🫣

I just want people that I relate to is all.

[ovrmymind]

I didn't realize bipolar rage was a thing.

I mean, I did, hahahah

But I thought I made it up.

Don't catch me when I'm raging, it's not pretty.