always-me-meha

[always-me-meha]

Mawhaha i never felt more like myself then I do now 🥰🥰🥰 nearing two weeks sober from METH (I'm no longer calling it jib..... jib is what made it feel innocent and fun to me). I will never go back to it 😤

I have my bank card back, aka, risk of gambling.... but guess what? I have faith in myself this time I'm DONE. I RATHER buy myself stuff I've been wanting, then lose it all to a fucking machine and disappointing my family asking for help to cover a payment I gambled away.

I've been gaming every day. I started reading a novel I've had on my shelf all year. I just feel better....... It's like being with him was my rock bottom and my wake-up call.

[always-me-meha]

Separately myself from being glued to my phone too much to do other things has been nice.

[always-me-meha]

Keep on smiling 😉

[always-me-meha]

You. Matter

-the end

💛🩵💛🩵💛🩵🥰

[always-me-meha]

[always-me-meha]

I know yall love my gifs, or 'videos'.

Sigh...... I do wish more loved me for more then what I show, yenno?

Ya I like to feel sexy...... I grew up feeling ugly. So yeah. But legit I don't want to be this way for guys on the internet.... I just want someone personal, yenno?

Where it's like damn my girls hot when she wants to be.......

[always-me-meha]

Folks upset me that I'm always going to be a fuck up, want me secluded in this room, i won't be in her will as she wants my step dad in charge if something happens.... aka set me up in a ... whatever those homes are called that care for you????? Making my life feel hopeless..... there's one thing I want next year that would make me happy and something to look forward to the future for.... even that they said no.... cause again all my 'oopsies' cost them and they don't know what I'll do in-between now to August........ like fuck you guys...

[always-me-meha]

Friend, I'd like you to stay here please.

I'll keep on going until i mentally can't anymore.

I just want to enjoy what I have in my surroundings for now.... books I haven't read, games I haven't played.

[always-me-meha]

*runs n jumps on you to give you big hug*

*runs away*

😂🥰

[always-me-meha]

[always-me-meha]

Mental breakdown.

I've been a fuck up and all my parents will no me is as a fuck up..... yet it's not my fault..... I didn't ask to lose my mind.... I didn't kill myself on purpose..... I didn't lose control cause I thought fuck it? Then they took away each and everything 'trying to help me' which made things worse..... fuck you guys.

Idiots. Lock my meds in a safe but allow me to pick up the new ones????

Maybe i will kill myself on purpose this time.

[always-me-meha]

I went to run to him again.... cause he messaged about 'i was gonna ask to come over but it's dark' (like why message then?) I came to town anyway so I could get my meds today before the storm..... if I got stuck I'd stay with him.... but he didn't message back, so I just slept at my step dad's (funny enough, it's down the block from his)

Anywho..... yeah.... I'll stick to this break up. Fuck you caige. Can't even care enough to check your messages tho here I am, down the street from you.....

I want a guy who gives a shit....

As i sit next to my two Axolotl stuffed animals my ex Leeland gave me........ (my ex long distance bf I guess) leeland couldn't be here with me physically but he gave me more then caige ever could......

[always-me-meha]

The fact I've gone dissss many days processing the break up so far. I do not wanna 'jump right back' the moment (if) he messages me again 😒

[always-me-meha]

[always-me-meha]

Always in my mind, can I see you tonight??? I'll meet you anywhere you like, I'll be over in 5.

"I'm busy in abit. Tomorrow maybe" *next day, no message*

[always-me-meha]

Trying to keep in mind. This is what I want. To be away from him. 100% i wanna be away from meth.

Meth will never go away, if I'm with him.

[always-me-meha]

I am cold ❄️, when I drop a guy, they're gone.

Caige???? I just get this burning fire 🔥 from passion to rage........

I think it's cause he's all I have really.

If I had more options in life, I doubt he would've even been one of them tbh lol.