#bill-er
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TUMBLR SEXYMEN SHENANIGANS: INCORRECT QUOTES
@marshiestars I respectfully blame you for this brainrot but then again I thank you dsfgnhgfdsfgh
here we got the crackiest of crackships because honestly it's Tumblr, why not have some stupid fun?
Bill Cipher/The Once-Ler
Ghirahim/Mordecai
Alastor/Double Trouble
is DT a Tumblr sexyman? No. Do I care? No.
***
Alastor: Bye DT! Bye Ghirahim! Bye Mordecai! Bye Bill! Bye DT!
Once-Ler: You said ‘bye DT’ twice.
Alastor: I like DT.
***
Ghirahim: Mordecai, you know how much I love you…
Mordecai, sleep deprived with his New York accent coming out: Whaddya want?
Ghirahim: A partner with some GODDAMN EMOTIONAL AVAILABILITY!
***
DT, handing a balloon to Mordecai: I have no soul. Have a good day!
Mordecai, walking off: I don't have one either.
(*cue wheezing in the background*)
***
Alastor: *sees Mordecai and Ghirahim together*
Alastor: They're cute. I would put them on a boat.
DT: You mean... you ship them?
***
Once-Ler: Bill kissed me!
Ghirahim: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
Once-Ler: It was unbelievable!
Ghirahim: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
Alastor: Okay, we wanna hear everything. Ghirahim, get the wine and unplug the phone. Once-Ler, does this end well or do we need tissues?
Once-Ler: Oh, it ended very well.
Ghirahim: Do not start without me! Do not start without me!
Alastor: Okay, alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing?
Once-Ler: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it.
Alastor: Ohh... So, okay, was he holding you? Or were his hands on your back?
Once-Ler: First they started out on my waist and then they slid up and then they were in my hair.
Ghirahim and Alastor: Ohhh.
*meanwhile*
Bill eating pizza in their house: And, uh, and then I kissed him.
Mordecai: Tongue?
Bill: Yeah.
DT: Cool.
***
Alastor: Stressed.
Mordecai: Depressed.
Once-Ler: Possessed.
Ghirahim: Obsessed.
DT: Impressed.
Bill: Chicken breast.
Everyone: ...What?
Bill: I just wanted to join in.
***
DT: Alastor is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?
Ghirahim: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.
Bill: Tackle him!
Mordecai: Dump him.
Once-Ler: Kick him in the shin!
Alastor: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!
***
Ghirahim: Just be yourself.
Bill: Really? Ghirahim, I have one day to win over Once-Ler’s parents.
Bill: How long did it take for you guys to like me?
DT: Couple of weeks.
Alastor: Six months.
Mordecai: Jury’s still out.
Bill: See Ghirahim? ‘Just be yourself,’ what kind of garbage advice is that?!
***
Alastor: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess.
DT: What the fuck kind of Subway are you going to?
Ghirahim: Substitute teachers deal with so much shit.
Mordecai: Guys.
***
Bill, talking about Once-Ler: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH THEM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? THEY DID. THEY KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO.
***
Mordecai: If I was married to you I would put poison in your coffee.
Ghirahim: If I was married to you I’d drink it.
***
Mordecai: Ghirahim... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Ghirahim: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
Mordecai:
Mordecai: I wrote sanitize, Ghirahim.
***
Once-Ler: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.
DT: And you came to me?
***
Once-Ler: Bill and I got married!!
Mordecai: Don't share your personal problems with everyone.
***
Mordecai: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?
Alastor: Put spaghetti in it.
Mordecai: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.
Ghirahim: Put spaghetti in it.
Mordecai: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.
Bill: Put spaghetti in it.
Mordecai: I am no longer taking suggestions.
***
*Mordecai is casually searching around the room*
Bill: Hey Mordecai, what’re you looking for?
Mordecai: My will to live.
*Ghirahim walks into the room*
Mordecai: Oh, there it is.
***
Once-Ler: *mixing different alcoholic beverages together*
DT: What are you making?
Once-Ler: A mistake.
***
Ghirahim: Hey, can I get a sip of that water?
Alastor: It’s not water.
Ghirahim: Vodka! I like your sty-
Alastor: It’s vinegar.
Ghirahim: …What?
Alastor: It's vinegar, PUSSY.
***
Bill: *writing a letter*
Bill: Dear Santa,
I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty...
And it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.
***
Alastor: Do you take constructive criticism?
Ghirahim: Not without crying
***
DT: Hey Mordecai, Bill just broke my seashell lamp.
Mordecai: Neat. I’m gonna die alone.
DT: Okay, you win.
***
Mordecai: Go fuck yourself.
Ghirahim: Come over here and fuck me yourself you coward!
***
Bill: *Laughs* Babe, you had a crush on me? That’s embarrassing—
Once-Ler: We’re married.
***
Mordecai: I'm going to ask you to be respectful.
Bill: I will politely decline.
***
Bill: Eat shit and die, Mordecai!!!
Mordecai: Eat shit and live, Bill.
***
Mordecai: Life is like Bill. It's short.
***
Ghirahim: To everyone who has treated me poorly; I am sexier than you.
***
DT: I’m having salad for dinner!
Alastor:
DT: Well, fruit salad.
DT: Actually, it’s mostly grapes.
Alastor:
DT: Okay, it’s all grapes.
DT: Fermented grapes.
Alastor:
DT:
Alastor:
DT: It’s wine.
DT: I’m having wine for dinner.
***
Ghirahim: Change is inedible.
Once-Ler: Don’t you mean inevitable?
Ghirahim, spitting out a bunch of pennies: No, I really didn’t.
***
Bill: I don’t even use tubberware anymore.
Once-Ler: What are you saying? Say it again.
Bill: Tubberware.
Once-Ler: Say it again. Slow.
Bill: Tubberware.
Once-Ler: Slow, very slow - actually, say the first syllable.
Bill: Tub.
Once-Ler: Wrong.
Bill: What do you mean, wrong?
Once-Ler: I thought I caught that. You’re saying tub. It’s P.
Bill: What are you talking about?
Once-Ler: Tupperware. Tupper.
Bill: It’s tupper!
Once-Ler: It’s tupper, always has been, always will be.
Bill: I thought it was tubberware because it kind of looks like a tub.
(just another day for them huehe)
***
Ghirahim: Well, remember when Mordecai made a romantic dinner for me?
Once-Ler: Ghirahim, he microwaved you a pizza.
***
Bill: A decision had to be made.
Mordecai: And you fucked it up!
***
DT: Oh, to be a bored heir to the throne who keeps rejecting marriage proposals due to being secretly in love with the cute gardener.
Mordecai: Oh, to be a cute gardener who secretly places roses in the heir’s room because they are in love with them.
Once-Ler: Oh, to be the palace guard who discreetly helps to boost the cute gardener up the wall for their secret deliveries in the middle of the night.
Alastor: Oh, to be the heir’s best friend witnessing the two fools dance around each other while knowing damn well that the two like each other.
Ghirahim: Oh, to be the noble suitor from another royal family who comes to know of their love instantly and plans an entire plan to get them their happy ending.
Bill: Oh, to be a medieval peasant who knows nothing about the heir’s personal life and who dies of dysentery at age 23.
***
Ghirahim: Talk dirty to me~
Mordecai: Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high.
Ghirahim: Wha-
Mordecai: The economy is in shambles.
***
DT: It's pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands? We should stay close.
Alastor, blushing: Okay.
Mordecai: It's fucking summer.
***
Ghirahim: Why do you not believe that ghosts are real?
DT: Never seen one.
Ghirahim: Okay, I mean, there’s a lot of things that you can’t see that are real.
DT: What can’t I see?
Ghirahim: You can’t see gravity. That’s real.
DT: Yeah, I can drop an apple.
Ghirahim: Fuck.
(average drunken conversation between these two)
***
Mordecai: I love you.
Ghirahim: Me too.
***
Ghirahim: Uptown Funk would've made it into the Shrek Soundtrack.
Once-Ler: That's the truest statement I've ever heard.
***
Bill, bursting into the room: You two are having sex!
Mordecai, not looking up from their book: Really? Ghirahim, why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.
***
Bill, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?
Once-Ler: Yeah, sure.
*A few minutes later*
Once-Ler: Here you go.
Bill:
Once-Ler:
Ghirahim: Why am I here?
***
Mordecai: Wow, they really hate us.
Ghirahim: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic.
Mordecai: But we’re not gay, Ghirahim.
Ghirahim:
Mordecai:
Ghirahim: We’re not?
***
DT: If I ever had a child, I imagine they would be a lot like you.
Alastor: Aww, thanks—
DT: Which is probably why I’ve never reproduced.
***
Ghirahim: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Mordecai: Okay.
Ghirahim: And make out during the scary parts.
Mordecai: Th-
Mordecai: The scary parts.
Mordecai: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
***
Bill: Ah shit, I forgot.
Once-Ler: Forgot what?
Bill: How do you expect me to answer that?
#mordecai heller#bill cipher#the onceler#alastor#ghirahim#double trouble#she ra#lackadaisy#hazbin hotel#gravity falls#legend of zelda#the lorax#incorrect quotes#tumblr sexyman#original post#samantha screeches#bill-er#ghiraci#radiotrouble
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I'm literally so obsessed with the fact that Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu married the most extreme versions of each other
like, I'm pretty sure that people have already brought this up, but Shang Qinghua and Luo Binghe have the same, "I'm just a little guy, you wouldn't hurt a little guy, would you?" pathetic, pitiful, crybaby aura (even though Binghe is a lot more selective with it lol)
and Shen Qingqiu and Mobei-Jun are icy beauty, rich, dense, spoiled brats that both go insane over (1) pitiful hamster man (for different reasons, but still)
I feel like if they didn't fucking die and get transmigrated, they could've had a cute assholes to assholes but lovers arc :<
#svsss#shang qinghua#shen qingqiu#moshang#bingqiu#blorbo#cumplane#ily shang qinghua 💞#he could have been a B tier sugar baby#instead of pimping himself out he'd pimp out his writing lol#not that he wouldn't mind 👀#for his Shen-gege♡#or maybe his Shen-didi would be funnier#shen yuan would be oblivious to the homoeroticism ofc#“why does everyone think we're fucking?” he would ask#while also paying for Shang Qinghua's bills#and living together#and loudly arguing over sex acts in public#and making out every time they get drunk#and and and#shen yuan: professional kissing the homie goodnight-er#just bros being bros
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gonna post this here too actually
uhhhhhh my process how i make the roomie cipher drawings ig
also bill
#ooc roomie cipher#sorta tut#my process er smth#bill cipher#gravity falls#the book of bill#gravity falls au#squidflavoredsoup
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more of my au
Basically an office AU. I'm thinking that Bill eventually asks the henchmaniacs to join the Fearamid office and help delay the enviable. Along with.. dimension hopping and working on paperwork
#im sorry if the designs are basic er.. i feel like i have to stick to them now.#especially with my bill design.. even if it doesnt feel original to me anymore#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#gravity falls au#gravity falls art#bill cipher#the book of bill#billford#gravity falls bill#ford pines#grunkle ford#gravity falls ford#bill x ford#stanford pines#bill x stanford#gf stanford#gravity falls stanford#gravity falls dipper#dipper pines#dipper and mabel#gf dipper#gravity falls mabel#mabel pines#gf mabel#gf bill cipher#gf book of bill#gravity falls comic#realm rulers au
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[Please zoom in, there's a lot of detail! And a massive file size...ouch]
Hi guys, long time no post! Been working on Art Fight and life stuff, but I've got something kinda fun for you.
This is a compilation exploring how a mortal Bill may interact with our world if there were still some kinda Euclidean instincts buried in there. Y'know, before the Book of Bill ruins all my headcanons >:P (EDIT: IT HAS BEEN READ. YAHOOOOOO)
Also quite an experimental piece as you can probably tell. Lots of details on both said headcanons and the art stuff under the cut, but I invite you to study the colorful texture yourself beforehand and think about what it might be representative of, just for fun because I got some really cool answers from my friends when asked :]c
TL;DR: the headcanon is that Euclideans have exceptional eyes for geometry. They find things like symmetry, tessellating patterns, graphs and fractals very aesthetically pleasing. If pushed into our 3D world, they feel comforted by the familiarity flat objects/spaces bring, as well as high-contrast patterns. Shadows especially are a familiar dimensional reduction that may bring them much comfort.
Bill would surely not be happy about these inclinations, constant reminders of a past long gone, but I'm not sure he's even aware of them here :P I think his ego gets in the way to the point where he just views these interests as common sense, which, of course, us lame humans just don't understand because we aren't nearly as cool as him. Of course he likes perfectly symmetrical leaves and staring at the kitchen floor, it's called taste, look it up!
And yet, he can't seem to shake the strange sense of melancholy he gets from viewing his own shadow.
~ End of TL;DR, long version below! ~
🔺 Headcanon Development
So, the catalyst of this idea was in relation to my friend and I's AU ( @love-triangles-au ). TL;DR, Bill's brought back mortal, meets another triangle named Y.V. (it's his hand holding the paper in the piece, actually), at some point they fall in yaois together, you know how it is. And, in writing a pair of triangles (or, more broadly, writing from the perspective of a different species), something I've had to consider was that you really can't get much further removed from a human being than sentient geometry.
The anatomical aspect was mostly figured out (see my piece on Bill's eye-mouth), but I wanted to consider what psychological differences might be at play. I wanted them to be weirder, more alien, double-so for Bill. At first I explored these possibilities through the lens of Bill and Y.V.'s relationship, specifically the question "what might a triangle find appealing about another triangle?"
Well, really the only things that came to mind were straight lines and symmetry, anything related to the geometric form of such a creature. That's more-or-less where that ended until the thought struck me that there's no reason this aesthetic appreciation couldn't extend to the rest of the environment, and then further when I realized, "wait, this is a species that is designed to live in a 2D environment. Like, they should seriously be really weird. I need to push this like 200% more."
So...yeah! I did some thinking and brainstorming with others and came up with a pretty long list of things a Euclidean in our world may be inclined to enjoy or find some level of comfort in. It's worth noting again that in this piece specifically this is a mortal/powerless Bill, so he can't really escape this Earthly environment. IF he's aware of these instincts at all (and that's a big "if"; when have you last been cognizant of your own instincts let alone known where they were stemming from?) I think he'd have snuffed them out in immortality and/or purposefully gone against them; he doesn't take kindly to being told what to do.
In order from left-to-right, top-to-bottom, here's an explanation for each!:
Flat objects such as paper are something he may find particularly engaging. It's basically 2D!
Tessellations are especially fascinating, and our world has them everywhere in the form of tile floors. Symmetry and such a predictable pattern...as the infinity of the starry sky might for us, the infinite potential of tessellations might invoke a similar sense of awe in him. Add on the maximum contrast of black on white kitchen tiles and the forms are only even better defined! A sensitivity to contrast would be very helpful for a 2D being navigating their environment.
Fields are flat and open, much like Euclydia itself. Laying flat may make him feel a little more at home.
More tessellation in the honeycomb of hymenopterans (bees, wasps and friends)! It helps that pain is hilarious.
The city is an absolute treasure trove. Rectangular buildings, precise architecture, square sidewalks and straight lines abound...he may as well be looking at a rainbow or an art gallery! I think a Euclidean's brain is very fine-tuned to mathematics, especially in regards to trigonometry. What may appear to be a straight painting might appear obnoxiously crooked to him.
Zebras are high-contrast :]
Another flat surface, another relaxing space <3
I think graphs are about as high as high art gets to most Euclideans.
I've touched on shadows before, and for good reason; truly they must be something borderline magical to the Euclidean and perhaps bitterly nostalgic.
This one kinda speaks for itself. Dweeb.
🎨 The Artsy Stuff
Lately I've been trying to find ways to fit more color into my work, as color is perhaps one of my favorite things in the world. My wardrobe is rather garish; my dad jokes that you could see me from space. My fursona is obnoxiously bright for a reason -- I feel my soul is a very colorful one!
I also realized recently that I don't actually know the exact style that speaks to me. I could talk about the phenomenon of the "style crisis" that many artists have all day, but in my mind the best cure for this feeling is to go against it entirely and begin stealing as much as possible.
So, I've tried to keep an eye out for more sources of inspiration everywhere I go, physical and digital. I've tried to train my mind into making a habit of considering, "can I do anything with this?" everywhere I go, and it recently paid off!
The glittery rainbowy texture you see plastered all over Billiam is this one, a photo-manipulated set of fruit stickers. I must confess I've been obsessed with this image for the past 72 hours, and this seemed like a good excuse to try it out!
I worried throughout the process if it might be so abstract that it loops back around to being horribly deliberate, if that makes sense -- like each sparkle was not a piece of a whole but rather an object in itself -- but it seems like that hasn't been a problem, so I'm grateful for that :Dc
I hope it can dazzle and delight you as it does me, but as long as you find it fascinating at the very least then I consider it a success! I really enjoyed hearing my friends' interpretations while workshopping it, and got tons of amazing answers from opal to kaleidoscope to fossilized bone marrow! I truly believe that the best art has some room for interpretation and it really excites me to be surrounded by that kind of creative energy that follows said pieces. That definitely adds to my pride in this work. It's weird, it's colorful, it's detailed and yet ambiguous. I'm feeling pretty autistic about it
Alright, I think that's about it. Thanks for listening!
#digital art#gravity falls#fan art#bill cipher#artists on tumblr#posting this and running! not returning to social media until my book is here and read front-to-back >:Dc#this may age terribly or it may not...i'm inclined to think it may not. bill's a flatass he already basically said as much#i use the term “flatland(er)” as a placeholder; he's not literally from the same universe as the book Flatland#...probably 👀#EDIT: YEP. words have been changed!
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#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#you could not tell me Ford would not immediately try to experiment on human Bill#Thats a god er demon stuffed in a human body and you WOULDNT wanna find out whats on the inside?#I need them smashed between two glass plates so i can put them under a miroscope#QOartyay
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happy boyfriend day to my beautiful bisexual babygirl
#starkid#hatchetfield#hatchetblr#the guy who didnt like musicals#tgwdlm#paul matthews#i love him#hes so bisexual idk man#he def wanted to kiss bill during that one scene#also im like 80.5% sure its canon#blessed by mr matteson himself#but er idk#i love Paul#spence rambles
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Figured out the basis of my au with Bill and my sona 😭 lmao Bill said my sona betrayed him and he wants to prove him wrong, which causes sO MANY PROBLEMS LMAO (but it’s okay cause Bill gets a new friend who helps him through what he’s going through yay)
#gravity falls#bill cipher#book of bill spoilers#doodles#sona tag#THIS IS SO DUMB AND I DONT HAVE A COHERENT PLOT LINE BUT H ERE LOL#MY SONA IS IMPULSIVE AND STUPID AND DOESNT LIKE BEING TOLD WHAT TO DO#anyway yay they’re gonna be friends somehow 🥰
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SOO a very rough animatic I did a few days ago
Look I saw the soft fuzzy man billford video and got really inspired (if you haven’t seen it yet go check it out it’s absolutely amazing and WAY better then anything I can do BAHHAHA)
Anyway I thought a lot of the lines in this song fit bill very much
Get ready for some NONE rough animatics coming!!
#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#ford pines#mabel#blendin blandin#the rift#BUM BUM BUUUM#baby bill cipher#his parents#uhhh idk how to spell their names#Apple#charlie xcx#animatic#BRAT SUMMER#er…#I guess brat fall?
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apparently im lucky to be alive! ahh
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If I had to find a religion in something, it would be the kindness of strangers born through fear in the emergency vet parking lot.
#stupid rant is stupid#sammys fine as far as i know#she had a fit and her back legs quit for a couple hours#shes fine now but we’re calling our normal vet first thing#thankfully no er vet bill was had
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I just found out that for my first hospital stay (the one I spent two nights overnight), the financial assistance app I put in with proof was approved at 100%. I just got a $3k hospital bill erased just like that. I’m so relieved I could cry.
#personal#FUCK American healthcare but thank GOD both hospitals I went to are non-profits.#<- Which means they legally have to have financial assistance options#I’m still waiting on my 2nd ER bill but I’m hopeful it’s gonna be $3k. I don’t think it will be.#*it’s not gonna
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the solution to all your problems is to think about puppy piles of your favorite characters btw
#companion puppy pile my beloved its real to ME#the reason i was immediately distracted by the idea of the rose/donna/martha cuddle pile is because the anount o#*the amount i think about tbat is. always. rotating them cuddling forever.#what if they all were frens :) jack can also be in the cuddle pile he’s at the center cause he is talk and warm and also likes being in the#middle <3 and then beyond them pond fsmily cuddle pile goes without saying.#clara & missy & twelve cuddle pile……. ADDS BILL THERE. they’ll be nicer if bill is there <3 or at least be nicer to her <3#u know what would improve thirteen’s fam immensely? if we got the sense that they would make a good cuddle pile. important factor. to me.#…….wkshfkfjsk thirteen ers companion cuddle pile but it’s used as an offensive measure against the master. they wrestle him down and lay on#him until he stops scheming. pressure therapy for hims.#if anyone could use pressure therapy its the master. squish him.
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Toffee Emergency Room Vet Bill
She had an ER visit and came out of it safe and sound. If any kind souls would like to assist me in paying this off I will have it posted below. Thank you.
The first thing she did when she woke up was look up at me.
Toffee hasnt been able to lay her eggs, we got an xray done to find out that she was indeed egg bound. The first 3 eggs were all black and necrotic. They were hard and rectangle shaped, stuck against the inner walls. Had I not gotten her looked at,It would have caused her death.
This was unusual and they don't know why it had occurred. But she had 24 eggs inside of her, including the first 2 she managed to lay, that would make 26 eggs in total she made. (Talk about being an over achiever)
and is resting. She needs daily care so the wound can heal properly. But that isnt a problem at all. I am just glad that she's safe and is still alive. If she doesnt perk up and start acting normal, I have to call them and bring her back. But now she needs rest.
TLDR: Toffee was egg bound with narcotic eggs and needed emergency operation.
#Snake#hognose#plains hognose#western hognose#hognose snake#snek#emergency#ER#vet#vet bill#vet bills#Pls help if you can#I would really appreciate it
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about a month ago a friend drew bill cipher on my hand. And the day after I had a seizure and one of the ER nurses went “hey isn’t that the guy from Gravity Falls”
#corv's chitterings#corv’s chitterings#Gravity falls#< eh sure we’ll tag them#Shortcake and nene#this was the seizure that i had randomly during our gartic game#So that added only makes it wilder#“Er nurse recognizes your bill cipher hand drawing after you have seizure due to flashing lights while drawing emu otori drinking coffee”#Mad libs type shit
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Hey babes, sorry I've been dead, but I coulda been literally dead if I had not gone.
I didn't hurt myself and we're still figuring things out. I would love to share but I've already forgotten what I've learned. I hope I get more guidance and time for healing and learning on how to lead my life in a better direction than where I was. But that takes time and effort.
I hope to get some rest, get some support, and get it together. But right now, I don't think it's healthy for me to worry about art in the way I do now. I may not express it here, but trying to maintain my art endeavors/projects while there's so much bullshit going on backstage is not helping me. Especially since I'm not even obligated to do so. But trying to force myself to do something I am currently unable to do will just make me feel worse. I'll follow my dreams and passions one day, but I've been putting off the healing process for years.
So I guess it's better to get better now so I can get the ball rolling again. Why drive on a flat tire?
#i was in there for a week and ill continue partial hospitalization for a few weeks#i hope i learn more and i hope i get specific help to my issues. because whay i learned there didnt directly pertain to me#but having structured daily life felt nice. but it wasnt all relaxing because there were still responisibilites on the outside world#tapping on the window or calling me on the phone. chose the best time for a meltdown. i have taxes and credit card bills to take care of#but if i stress about it now ill jsut be going back to the ER and thats no good. the hospital was so cold dude im glad im home with blankets#this is mr octopus again. im glad i broguh hom to work. i went straight to er from work and if i had no plushie with me#i probably would have stayed longer or be even more mentally unstable and distressed. its good to have comfort items#i dont think i want to know ehat if be like without some kind of companion or grounding item with me. i dont want to imagine me without em#its okay to have a little friend with you. i would be so distraught. everyone loved me there#the nurses the patients the residents yhe social workers the students#mr. octopus made them happy because of his big smile and mine too. the people there did not expect the mass amoutns of stress and depression#in this bubbly happy baby witb a happy pink octopus. one of the patients thought it was the meds the happy pills they gave me#no im jsut naturally like this. or artificially like this. i still dont know how to express or understand my feelings#if what im showing is real or not because i know ill be the happiest in the room wherever i go. maybe its a front or a mask#but when im like that kinda hard to know whats really underneath. they always ask me if im okay but i turn to myself#and its nondescript like ive put a blanket over how i really feel. its weird. the bubbly energy is blinding.#words#mr octopus#mental health#doodles
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