#best minecraft parkour servers

[incorrectbatfam]

Damian being a gen alpha implies in gen alpha Jon too ...

[at a sleepover]

Damian, whispering: Jon?

Jon: Yeah?

Damian: Our planet is doomed.

Jon: Yeah, it is.

Jon: Wanna sneak downstairs for snacks?

Damian: Sure.

———————

Steph, as a Batburger cashier: Sorry ma'am, that product was discontinued months ago.

Jon: *secretly starts recording*

Margie: You didn't even bother to check! What kind of lazy service is this? No wonder the world is the way it is with your generation. I should call the corporate hotline right now and report you for refusing to serve a paying customer. See how you like it when you lose your job.

Damian: Hey Karen, she said they don't have it anymore. Either get something else or leave. Some of us have places to be.

Margie: And who do you think you are?

Damian, pointing to Jon's camera: The best friend of someone with 150,000 followers.

Jon: Say hi to the internet!

———————

Damian and Jon: *putting up hand-drawn posters around town*

Comm. Gordon: What are you kids doing?

Damian: Advertising our joint channel.

Jon: We're gonna have an epic Cheese Viking and Fortnite mashup tournament.

Damian: Proceeds go to the Wayne Foundation.

Comm. Gordon: *scribbles a note and hands it to them*

Comm. Gordon: If anyone asks you for a permit, it's on me.

———————

Damian and Jon: *huddled around the Batcomputer*

Jon: I think we should sort it by distance instead.

Damian, typing code: Good idea.

Barbara: What's that?

Jon: Our new website.

Damian: It allows people to report stray animals they see without the risk that comes with physical contact.

Barbara: Oh, cool. Carry on.

———————

Kara: What do you want to drink?

Jon: Mountain Dew. Dami, you want one?

Damian: Depends. Is it vegan?

Kara: *starts typing into Google*

Jon: Hey Alexa, is Mountain Dew vegan?

———————

[texting]

Jon: Dami, get on Discord.

Damian: Why?

Jon: Live-action One Piece streaming in the Gay Minecraft server.

———————

Jon: Ms. Kyle, check it out!

Selina: What is it?

Damian: TikTok added a set of Catwoman stickers.

Selina: Show me.

———————

Kate: I still think you are far too young for things like Instagram.

Damian and Jon: *snicker*

Kate: What?

Jon: Well, Ms. Kane, how should we put it...

Damian: No one uses Instagram anymore.

———————

Jon: *takes a 0.5 of him and Damian with Dick in the background*

Damian: You're in our BeReal now. Deal with it.

Dick: What's a BeReal?

———————

Damian, handing Jon a rock: I would like to buy this playhouse.

Jon: Too bad, the economy just disappeared.

Lois: What are you doing?

Jon: We're playing Society.

———————

Damian: Alfred, we're hungry.

Alfred, on the phone: *makes the thumb and pinky gesture and mouths "I'm busy"*

Jon: Huh?

Alfred: I'm on the phone, boys.

Damian: I think he meant this.

Damian: *puts his palm to his ear*

———————

Jon: Parkour!

Jon: *hops over a log*

Jon: Parkour!

Jon: *climbs a tree*

Damian: *recording*

Clark, to Bruce: That's one way to play.

Bruce: Mhm.

Clark: Do you ever get worried about, you know, how these kids are turning out?

Jon: Parkou—

Damian: Wait, stop, there's a bird's egg here. I wonder what species it is.

Jon: I have an app that can scan it.

Bruce, to Clark: I think they're gonna be alright.

[joifee]

Here are both my pieces for the @bdubszine !!!!! Such a great opportunity to run with it and just have fun with detail work.

I am in love with sungod bdubs and very proud of this piece with the improv class^^

Down below is some in depth talk for the first piece with bdubs and all his clocks :D

The one on his chest is a regular minecraft clock - he always carries one in his offhand. In the background his his big tower from his "building with bdubs" series. He is wearing his moss cloak. On his wirst: A clock with a horse: he loves horses. also it actually is inspired by the horse-mountain he build in season 9 of hermitcraft A purple clock with ears: a purple panda clock. He joined one mcc (minecraft championship) and one it first try on the team called purple pandas) A tnt block-clock: Season 7 of hermitcraft he had, alongside impulse and tango, a company called "the boomers" who would explode stuff with tnt for diamonds - bdubs stick was he would die in every blow up they do (there are compilations)

in his jacket: The clock looking like a ring: reference to double life. He was soul-bonded to impulse and they lowkey roleplayed as a married couple and impulse gifted him a clock as a sign or marriage. therefore it looks like a ring. it also has "i" pointers because impulse always puts "i"s on his stuff A regular alarm clock: Basically that - maybe a reference for him always sleeping through the night. The red glasses clock: reference to season 8. He, tango and keralis based together and called themself "big eyes crew" and they all wore red glasses Emerald shaped clock: season 9 as the right hand to king rendog (theres also a crown inside the shape) emeralds because rendog and bdubs wanted to change currency to royal emeralds which started a war on the server and led to rendogs execution. bdubs stayed loyal till the end "hep" clock: Season 7. He plays right hand man to mayor scar. There was a turfwar between two groups - one wanted their main island to be mycelium the other wanted it to be grass. HEP was the group who wanted grassblocks so its a grassblocked shaped clock. they lost the war clock with a snake: 3rd life reference. Inside the clock theres a castle "the crastle" which was his and cleos base in 3rd life. The snake stands for cleo. the heart is part of the logo for the traffic series (same btw count for the heart in the impulse ring) sundial: reference to the hermitcraftxempires smp crossover. bdubs came to empires smp and announced himself as "the sungod" and basically became a god and gem, oli, fwhip and sausage were his followers for the short time. the shape is after a build sausage made in his name the "B" sign: reference to last life. He was part of team B.E.S.T. and they had shields with their initials aka Bdubs, Etho, Skizzlman and Tango. The four hearts are the lifes he was given at the start of the series half tnt clock: reference to ethoslab who is his best friend on hermitcraft and they are just unnormal about each other messed up steam punk clock: reference to the create series he did with keralis, tango, scar and zedaph who unfortunatly was short lived mcc coin: the coin he got for winning mcc broken heart monitor clock: limited life. there's a heart monitor and digital clock. the clock is broken because bdubs didnt uploaded his view for limited life (at the time of drawing this piece) so we never new how much time he had left (we know now) small pocket watch with snake and wings: also limited life. he teamed up with scar (the wings) and cleo (the snake) tree clock: the tree of whimsey. one of his first builds of season 9. he crowned tango as parkour king, cub as royal magican/dragonslayer and ren as king under it

rest of the smaller clocks are filler

[akantonelli]

which f1 drivers are best at mcc games?

obviously, max verstappen thrives in ace race. he spends most of his life on the practice server practicing. one time charles beat his personal best and he had to be forced to log off after spending 32 consecutive hours playing.

george is the resident battle box try hard. he WILL rush wool and everyone else hates playing against him for that reason.

buildmart is oscar's bitch. i can absolutely see james vowels trying to make a spreadsheet for alex and logan a la technoblade but this would backfire massively. oscar is also a contender for hole in the wall because of his ping, but buildmart is his happy place. playing buildmart also pisses off lando which is funny to him.

valtteri bottas coming in with the steel chair. he'd never played minecraft before zhou introduced him to it, but he studied it intently and is the only member of the grid to perfectly recall every single crafting recipe.

kevin magnussen is a master of team games, but he is exactly what you need for grid runners. he doesn't take the lead, he does what he's told and he gets it done. no matter the cost or moral implications.

oscar and danny are both good at this (aussie ping ftw) HOWEVER yuki tsunoda is short and therefore so much better at understanding how to get through the holes. it's just part of who he is. maybe he's glitching, maybe he's cheesing, but god dammit he's winning.

you may think war criminal fernando alonso would enjoy sky battle / survival games the most. and he does. however meltdown is his absolute favourite. does he lose by 2 coins every time he plays? yes. does he enjoy getting to shoot everyone - including members of his own team? absolutely.

parkour tag just gives me logan vibes. he's just a little guy. he just likes jumping around the corners and tagging members of the opposite team. he is ruthless but constantly overlooked by opponents and that makes him even more dangerous.

lewis is THE parkour warrior. he made the original PW look so easy they had to blow the whole thing up. he still dominates, no one can stop him. no one wants to stop him. everyone is afraid of him.

nico hulkenberg is one of the few people on the grid that actually knows how to use an elytra. he is the only person that enjoys RSR and he wins by such frightening margins.

[sca-rian]

UPDATES ON RICHARLYSON AND THE BRAZILIANS, FROM CELLBIT'S STREAM (05/03)

i love how this stream started with silly shenanigans and then went to complex lore and back to shenanigans. also VERY long post warning since this is over 6 hours of content

banner art by @spot_desenhador

- they've started project imortalyson, each of them is gonna teach richarlyson important survival skills

- tazercraft is teaching him intimidation skills, forever is furthering teaching him how to rob things and stealth in general, cellbit is teaching combat (due to his past as a killer in minecraft 💀) and felps is teaching him movement and strategy

- tazercraft is building a little football/soccer field so they can play with richarlyson

- chayanne and richarlyson are now best friends :D

- cellbit and felps had their first fight. the reason: cellbit gave felps a banana and felps compared it to foolish's banana. this is an important update

- cellbit is doing richarlyson's daily missions!!!!

- richarlyson's favorite food is tapioca (this is important.)

- cellbit made him a totally edible tapioca

- after 2 hours of stream, they finally start on project imortalyson

- quackity is also giving 1% of training lessons

- ALMOST EVERYONE ON SERVER COMING TO WATCH AND HYPE IT UP?

- this entire sequence is. something. it includes valuable life lessons, bad translations of portuguese sayings ("lower your balls", "breast me" 💀), bobby and richarlyson exchanging insults, parkour, forever beating the bad father allegations

- things get TENSE with the richarlyson/bobby rivalry since bobby kept trying to steal the spotlight and be a nuisance

- as a final test, they followed richarlyson around in a cave until he found his first diamonds

- quackity is apparently trying to get a higher percentage of richarlyson's custody ? stay tuned for updates !

- update: rumor says he has 5% of custody now.... not sure if it's true. forever didn't confirm anything

- cellbit, felps and richarlyson quietly left the cave after quackity started threatening bobby

- RICHARLYSON CRAFTED HIS FIRST DIAMOND PICKAXE 🔥🔥🔥🔥

- they're doing a picnic :) with joyful music playing in the background :) and flowers :)

- richarlyson went to take a nap and cellbit started building his house in the meantime

- cellbit and richarlyson went to see bbh and maximus

- he's getting into the lore 👁 investigation music is playing. maximus is telling cellbit to be careful with quackity because quackity wants to kill all eggs

- cellbit is joining them on investigating what's going on with the island

- (guys cellbit is so excited about this. it's exactly his type of stuff since he used to do vídeos on args and stuff like that. he was also planning on doing something similar himself on the server)

- maximus is showing him the stuff with morse code/cyphers he got from the hacker transmissions and more. cellbit is gonna help them with the cypher

- meanwhile, richarlyson and dapper are getting along well!! :D they were having a little party with sombreros and mexican music

- if you're interested, around after the 4 hour mark, the stream is mostly in english and they talk about the lore and about decoding the cypher from one of the transmissions!!! very cool stuff

- 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 THEY PUT MINES ON VEGETTAS HOUSE AND WERE PUTTIMG THE BLAME ON CELLBIT??? I HATE IT HERE!!!! apparently maximus plan was to lead cellbit there so he could record him as evidence

- theyre changing it to blame bobby instead 💀

- richarlyson was playing the flute with tallulah :)

- forever keeps dying btw

- cellbit finished his house! hes also to planning a secret bunker under it to work on investigating the server and the transmissions

- quackity showed up and him and cellbit struggled with mines for several minutes. quackitys house is mostly gone.

- cellbit invited quackity to live in the favela with them

- AT THIS POINT IDK HOW MANY EXPLOSIONS WE HAD IN THE LAST 15 MINUTES

- cellbit put richarlyson to bed and played a undertale song while doing it :)

- uhhh apparently i left the stream and something lore relevant happened. cellbit got attacked by something that was definitely not a regular minecraft mob! hahah how funny. it was one of the things with binary code for a nick

i think this was most of the interesting/fun stuff that happened today. sorry for the long post and hopefully it helps some people who want to stay updated with the brazilians!! any extra information/details/translations you guys may want, feel free to send me an ask. or just come talk to me about these guys :)

[sapphia]

so recently, scar has gotten good at minecraft. like, really good. if you watch his old stuff, it doesn't take much to see that scar's strengths generally used to lie outside of the actual, run-around-without-dying-especially-on-a-pvp-server level of play. and that's fine, it wasn't his jig, and the people he's playing with really are very good and very experienced at this sort of play. so it never needed to be something that scar was good at because his fanbase mostly watched him for other reasons, so that just wasn't something he needed to be able to do.

but for a while now, especially noticeable over the life series, he's been rapidly improving at the sorts of particular skills that the life smp server values (and also certain skillsets involved in MCC, too). The water bucket clutches spring to mind, as well as the hot-guy stuff that make him such a lethal force with a bow. (It's honestly a shame that life smp doesn't have elytra -- he regularly one-shots people from the air on hermitcraft, and it's a fantastic bit.)

And it's just so good to see because like... he didn't have to go and do that! he went and practiced those skills, and got good at them, and then came and showed them off. and it was awesome, but also he made it so creative and entertaining, and he really didn't have to do any of it at all if he hadn't wanted to. people don't play on life smp because they're good at the technical elements of the game. more than anyone else, scar's particular shenanigans and the energy he brings to the server are what make him a great fit for the series. there are plenty of players on life smp who aren't great PVPers but who get by on politicking, or scheming, or storytelling, or just generally being a good time to be around, and each of them makes the smp tick and are valuable in their own way.

not to mention that life smp is made up of such a wonderful group of human beings that they'll do whatever it takes for you to fit in. to make your thing, and your particular energy and abilities, a part of of the series. to make it that you aren't hampered by your abilities and handicaps, whatever they may be. when skizz dies early on to some early misfortune in limited life, people are pretty clearly aware that he's one of the weaker players and it might impede his ability to have a full series. but don't worry, because half the server are tripping over themselves to give him their time and lives and totems and to swear undying oaths of fealty to protect him at all costs. grian, martyn, tango, literally every one of the ties - not to mention everyone who stood around and watched as skizz killed tango - all are working together and giving up things, valuable things, to make sure this one player gets to keep time on the server, and therefore time on the series, just because that's who they are. that's what the server is. friends, playing together.

i'm sure that's also why grain stuck with scar in the first series: to make it fair. they want everyone to have a good time. To be able to do their own thing, whatever that thing is you bring to the server, be it your insane PVP skills or trying to scam players by selling them magic crystals.

which is a long way of saying: scar was under no obligation whatsoever to get good at these player-skill-based elements of minecraft. but it's wonderful that he did! he really said, "look, i know you all think i'm a walking disaster, but i need you to know, it's not because i'm bad at the game. it's because i'm me." and then he went and got crazy good at archery (well, okay, crazy good at one very specific archery move, but also pretty damn good at shooting things overall! and at flying!) and he started parkouring around a bunch and now he's mastered waterbucket clutches (and what a fucking display he got to show off in double life, too) and just all around Got Good at the things that he wasn't previously that good at.

and the best thing was that he's still such an irreverent force of chaos that it hasn't even mattered. he's still just as lethal to himself through his own terrible decisions and random lack of awareness or foresight. or even just his own desire to fun, no matter what. the man really went into a hardcore server and said alright, i'm gonna build my base up high enough to definitely kill me, and also make it out of trap doors, and oh grians here, oops i'm sure that won't go wrong. and then he went and died to his elytra failing. that's just the most scar thing I've ever seen. you can't even fault him because grain also died on that server. only joel properly made 100 hours and there's no surprises there, joel is insanely good. so its no mark against scar that he died. but how he plays it, it's just so him.

and you wouldn't have it any other way because this is why we watch him. he's entertaining because he's totally unpredictable and also predictable and good and bad and competent and incompetent all at the same time. he will waterbucket-clutch INTO an impossible situation to save a bunch of useless pandas that were almost definitely going to die and he'll get away with it. and then also he will die by setting off a trap he's trying to very obviously lure others into. yes also he fell into a pit of zombies, what of it? it's just scar and his wacky hijinks. will he die? lets find out!

scar really said the only thing holding me back is me, and then proved it.

[aquaquadrant]

Hello! I've been told to ask you this =D

What do you think about Jimmy as a minecraft player, what is he?

It's for a project =3

ooh a project, how fun :0

i should preface this by saying i’m not the BEST person to give this opinion, cuz despite how much i write jimmy, i uh… don’t actually watch his pov? i haven’t seen any of empires (except the hermit’s crossover in s2), i don’t watch his streams, and i don’t watch the one-off vids he posts on his channel. most of my knowledge of jimmy comes from his appearances in other pov’s life series episodes and how ppl portray him in fandom.

howEVER, that said, i’m curious how my interpretation would line up with other ppl’s. i view minecraft players as generally fitting into a few broad categories- tho there can def be overlap between them or a jack-of-all-trades situation. and this prob applies more to people who actually play minecraft professionally (ie. ‘play video games for a living’) than the casual player (such as myself hagshdha).

builders: have a creative eye and practiced skill in building to the point where they can, generally speaking, throw down a decent build on the fly (things that require a lot of planning/detail work often drafted in creative mode first). have good understanding of achieving a certain shape and color with their block placements. may or may not include terraforming ability. generally drawn to the game’s building aspect and spend a lot of time/care making things look good.

redstoners: have an adequate amount of base knowledge for how most redstone components work and interact with each other, tho they may occasionally still use tutorials or take inspiration from others (can only reinvent the wheel so many times). usually capable of making simple redstone machines/contraptions on the fly. generally drawn to the game by the possibility of farms and automation. some take it to extreme game-breaking lengths (doc).

competitors: have highly-trained skill in areas such as PVP, parkour, and/or any other multiplayer server type minigame. think hypixel and MCC. this isn’t to say they don’t have their own solo worlds for building or other projects, or don’t participate in smps, but their main draw to the game initially was competitive multiplayer and it features heavily on their channels. to me, speed-runners/challenge-seekers are a subcategory of this.

explorer: this type doesn’t actually show up often in popular mcyt bc it’s a largely solitary- and in some ppl’s opinion, boring- experience. but these are the players that spend hours in their solo worlds just traveling around, mining out massive caves, or doing any other kind of repetitive grindy work as a manner of relaxation. some ppl really enjoy this aspect of minecraft and it’s a major draw for them. special mention for kurtjmac, a mcyter who’s spent 13 years and counting just walking to the farlands in an old version of the game (tho he does other things on his channel as well).

and now for what category i think jimmy fits best in (which again, doesn’t mean he can’t build or do other things). i don’t have a good name for it rn so i’m just gonna call it ‘the sillies’ (affectionate).

sillies: above all else, they’re here to have fun. most, if not all, of their content is on multiplayer worlds (both public servers and private smps), and on these worlds they are extremely social, making a concentrated effort to interact with others even if not legitimately roleplaying. high amounts of pranks and hijinks abound, as well as ‘committing to the bit.’ lots of videos feature them doing some kind of funny little challenge, game, or mod with their friends. again, that doesn’t mean they can’t engage w the other aspects of the game or be skilled in those categories, but generally, it’s not their main objective and not how they spend most of their time.

that’s what i’ve got! obviously u could split all of these into many subcategories, and your average player is gonna be fairly well-balanced. but for our pro cubitos, i think this is a nice way to categorizing things (and it at least makes sense in my mind).

[freakinator]

spoke's discs in order:

11

"Alright, Parrot, listen. This Minecraft server has a secret. This is something that can change Minecraft forever. And I'd love to tell you what it is but you have to show me that you deserve to know it."

strad

"Parrot, if you're hearing this, that means you've completed the first clue. Honestly I'm impressed I won't lie, you made it this far? It's... a little bit impressive. But Parrot, you still have a secret you need to uncover... and if you want any chance of actually finding it... you're gonna have to follow the light. And just remember, Parrot, I'm always watching."

otherside

"A'ight, Parrot... You completed the second clue, gr-great job, man, I'm actually impressed. But look... for this next one, if you wanna uncover this secret, you are gonna have to fly, uhh, a little bit of a distance, alright? It's only, like, two thousand blocks north, ahh... under- in the void, maybe-- don't worry about that part, look. It's gonna be hard, you're gonna wanna bring some... rockets, uhh, probably not the flight duration one ones, you're gonna wanna bring the flight duration three ones, it's gonna be a long one. It's also gonna be in the void so just keep that in mind... Uh, if you try to cheat, uh, just forget about the secret, alright? If I find out that you cheated... T- just forget about it, you're never gonna figure it out, um, other than that, good luck, man. And just remember, Parrot... I'm always watching."

cat

"Alright, congratulations, you made it! Uhh, how was your flight? Actually, I can't hear you. I can-- no, I can't see you, I can't even see anything that you're do-- anyways! Umm, this next clue is actually not ev-- it's not even a clue. It's not even a riddle. It's actually-- probably the easiest one that you'll ever hear. Umm... However, i-i-okay. It's not really a phrase, it's more of a code... umm. But it's only, like... four numbers, I'll-I'll I'll just say i-- I'll say it pretty slowly that you can get it, though. Nineseveneightthree."

wait

"Alright, Parrot, you are so close to finding out this secret, but... you're gonna have to understand one thing..umm, I've been pretty straightforward, so far I've been able to lead you in a pretty good direction, but, I can't lead you with this next one. Umm. There's only one thing that can. Alright, Parrot, look, I know I promised that I wasn't gonna say any more riddles but I have-- I have one more for you, right? It's-it's pretty straightforward-- i-i-it gets pretty straight to the point. Lodestone. Just remember, Parrot... I'm always watching."

mellohi

"Alright, Parrot. Parrot, if you're hearing this... you completed the parkour! Good job. Look, I don't know how hard it was, I honestly wasn't the one that built it. I-I [incomprehensible]. Also, I hope you liked meeting my friend, because you'll... probably be seeing them... a little bit... later. Don't-Don't worry about that. Anyways, you got a secret to find... go find it. Just remember Parrot, I'm always watchin'"

chirp

"Congratulations, Parrot, you've found your next step, or clue, or whatever I'm calling this. Umm, alright, you see the turtle egg that was also in the chest? Umm... alright, I'm not sure if you know what to do with it but you're gonna have to figure it out because... it's your only way in finding the secret. And remember, I'm always watching."

mall

"Congratulations, Parrot, you're one step closer to finding out the secret. But, you're honestly getting a little too close, so I'm gonna leave this next clue... up to you. Ah, you know what to look for, best of luck. And remember, I'm always watching."

blocks

"'Gratulations, Parrot, you're only two away from finding out the secret. But for this next one you're gonna have to meet at five thousand, five thousand in the Nether. Uh, don't worry about it, just head there. You can elytra there, I don't really care, but just don't forget to press the buttons and remember... I'm always watching."

ward

"You did it, Parrot, you're only one step away from finding the secret. I'm honestly not sure how you'll react to it. I'm not sure... like... I'm not even sure how y-how you're gonna feel after you know about it, but... all I know is that it's prolly gonna change your life. It absolutely will actually change your life. Umm... but there's only one way to find it. And... if you want to... you know where to find me. Oh, and also, you're gonna want to bring your friend. And remember, I'm always watching."

[tikiloowho]

Between the various content creators out there, my QSMP blogging will likely be most revolving around Philza's character and how he is involved in lore. [This does not mean that I will only have predictions about Philza. - I watch a lot of POV's] I have been a long time Crow but from an outside perspective. I was never really into MCYT content back in the day but I saw a lot of it in passing and mostly only consumed Philza or Techno content. QSMP was the deep end apparently as it's all my brain has room for these day's. (Thus is the nature of hyper fixations) All this being said. I have a lot of thoughts about Philza's character and how he is connected to the QSMP. Sure, he's not the most exciting to watch and has spent quite a bit of time on the server simply caring for his children. The kind man up on the wall. But amongst the crow's this is simply just the surface level to the types of characters Philza tends to play as. The most important quality he carries is "Less is more" Philza doesn't ever show all of his cards. He's honest yet he's careful with what he says and how he says it. He's hyper aware of his actions and how they can have lasting effects on others and the world around himself. This is carried over from his past SMP's and lifetimes within hardcore. Every action has a reason that is decided on in a split second. We all have seen Etoiles react to Philza's movements and how he praises the way phil plays the game in all aspects, but Etoiles isn't wrong. Philza moves with purpose, every step, turn, glance, zoom and shift is done with intention. Though he himself is unaware of how subconscious this is. Phil is ALWAYS aware of what is going on. At the risk of death, he cannot afford to miss a detail. Hardcore is the main cause of this. At any moment, something could kill you if you're not careful and Philza has this mentality so baked into him that it's second nature. We joke that he's got a bird brain but really the high ground prevents most mobs from reaching you. A height advantage gives him the chance to react first if forced into a combat situation. A chance to escape if he wished it. He doesn't stay still as being stationary makes you an easy target. All of this really just comes down to experience with the game. Philza has consistently played minecraft for many years and this veteran status provides him a level of game sense that few others carry. He's not the number 1 PVP player or the greatest builder of all time. He's not the number one Parkour player or the best MCC competitor. However, He is good at all of these things. He is a jack of all trades with a mastery of the Elytra. This makes him a force to behold and there are many players on the QSMP who have not see him at his full potential. I am excited to see how things progress and I am certain i share the consensus with many other crows. One day, Philza will have his wing's back and it'll be an entirely different ballgame for the QSMP. I do get the sensation we may see wing's sooner rather than later. The admins really seem to be referencing his "Grounded" status a lot and from past observation, the team doesn't just poke fun without underlying reasons. I'll end my rambling here.

[hanguangbuns]

mdzs characters' minecraft play-styles

wei ying: redstone genius. and a master at social engineering. he uses both for chaos. he played on anarchy servers in middle school, and therefore a menace for all his friends who play casually. hes the type to try to crystal pvp jiang cheng and "accidentally" blows up his 24 dogs. nowadays, as an adult, he makes redstone machine tutorials and lag machines on servers for trolling purposes. he makes amazing pixel art

lan zhan: doesnt play computer games much but only played because wei ying played it. wei ying tried to goad him into playing together on one of those large public servers when they were teens but he refused. however he secretly went home and asked his uncle to buy him a copy and he proceeded to only play in creative mode for the rest of his life. he is also a redstone genius. he mostly makes aesthetic builds rather than actually beat the game.

jiang cheng: plays the game and does every thing right, but at some point he starts getting bored and wonders what the point of all of it is. he tames as many wolves as he can and has them run around killing mobs with him. he plays in survival single player, never in a server. wei ying always makes him open his world to LAN so they can play together, and he knows, he KNOWS he shouldnt, but somehow he does and ends up regretting it. his house that he took 2 irl days to build is now on fire. he gives up

nie huaisang: forever noob who only played because his friend wei ying convinced him to. he doesnt understand how to play it no matter how many times its explained to him. keeps asking questions about what to do after he chopped the wood. how does he get a sword. why isnt this stone dropping an item after he breaks the block. etc. when he does eventually get the hang of the game, he makes pretty houses and structures thats actually pretty good for a beginner.

nie mingjue: god at PVP and a legend in PVP servers for his extremely OP gear but also kind enough to help beginners that join. in survival he brute forces his way through the game and punches the mobs with his bare fists on the first night, no gear no weapons, low health low hunger. when things settle he tames a cat and makes a nice home. he plays only a couple hours a week bc he has to hit the gym. its comedic watching a grown, muscular man play minecraft

meng yao: set up a public multiplayer server with lots of special plugins and functionality it really looks like a good, legit server. however, no one except lan huan really joins anyways, but he puts his best into the server. whenever he finds out about people that shit talks him or just simply disagrees with him he has xue yang join their servers and grief their world.

lan huan: mostly watched his little brother play on the computer when they were younger but lan zhan let him play if he asked. hes fascinated by all the things to possibly do in the game, and likes the cute little animals. he also really likes lan zhan's builds and tries to make cute little houses himself! he was curious one day and played on survival, and by the time night came around he was panicking when all the mobs came chasing after him. he never played again

lan sizhui: actually plays the game fairly seriously even when all his friends are going around causing chaos in a nearby village. is that one friend that can balance playtime without impacting his school or social life, only on for a few hours a day but uses it wisely. he likes to make automatic farms with the redstone wisdom his mentor wwx bestowed upon him, and even goes the extra mile to make it OSHA certified—he labels everything and organizes all his chests by demension and block type. once in a while, he lets loose when his friends are in a particularly goofy mood

lan jingyi: lets out all his frustrations of real life into skywars and hunger games. he’s really good at parkour too. his favorite thing to do is troll jin ling. his setup is a shitty laptop he uses for school where the frames never peak past 15 fps and the wifi automatically cuts off at 10 pm in his household. he uses every minute he can get.

jin ling: insane rig set up purchased with both father’s and jiujiu’s money and plays with resource-intensive BSL shader mods on java and RTX settings on bedrock. he still gets beat in bedwars by Jingyi on a chromebook. every world he joins he finds and tames a wolf as fast as he can and names it after his irl dog, Fairy. once his dog got blown up by a creeper and he was inconsolable for days

ouyang zizhen: doesnt play minecraft much but will play with his friends on big multiplater servers when asked. the quartet plays factions and they all named him the leader except he never really gets online anyways

xiao xingchen: likes to play on a small, private server he port forwarded just for him and song lan. they played on easy mode and built houses and farms together and beautiful structures. soon, their world was joined by A’Qing, and eventually xue yang, except they didnt know it was xue yang and one day found their world tragically griefed

song lan: only played when xiao xingchen asked him to play. he suspected the player that joined their world was xue yang but he could never actually prove it and xiao xingchen would always give the player the benefit of the doubt.

xue yang: notorious griefer, hacker, and feared troller. he finds private servers with no whitelist and logs in to grief their world as fast as he can. he uses every trolling technique in the book: lava casts, wither boss spawns, illegal items, etc. he looks up to wei ying, a LEGEND in the mc trolling community, in hopes he can get his attention, but wei ying does not approve of his actions at all—HE never trolled and griefed private servers where people put their heart and soul into creating, only the big ones where admins would scam people out of their money. everytime xue yang is banned from a world, he just hops on an alternate account.

A’Qing: loves to get OP gear and make massive builds. however, after joining xxc she gets a new goal: to seek revenge against xue yang for what he did to the server. at some point, she finds her way into meng yao’s server and griefs xue yang’s base with massive amounts of lava buckets. sadly, it was only a temporary success because the server was easily rolled back. she’ll find a way

[hccn-overseer]

Issue 21, 9/07/2023 - The Overseer

Issue Masterpost About the Overseer

Decked Out Debuting This Saturday

By Lydia

Citizens are preparing throughout the entire server to watch their favored Hermits test their parkour, survival, strategy, and navigational skills at the debut of Decked Out, the extensive second edition of the Hermitcraft dungeon crawler created by Redstone engineering and digital architectural mastermind Tango Tek. The game is scheduled to make its grand debut on Saturday, September 9th, and has garnered the public’s attention since the announcement of its early creation over a year ago. Citizens who enjoyed the first edition of Decked Out and who have made a point to be there to play the second are eagerly gathering outside of the venue in hopes of being the first Citizen players in this underground game of wonders. Many of them have been tuning in to Tango Tek’s construction-centered broadcasts to watch him build his brainchild block by block, even giving suggestions when he turns to his audience for a myriad of minds to brainstorm together.

One of the first Citizen Affiliations, the Decked Out Crew, is ebullient in its anticipation to see the game’s opening day. Complete with Redstone engineers, laboratory assistants, maintenance workers, Ravager and Warden Keepers, medics, actors, set designers, landscapers, sound technicians, a stage manager, and a Citadel terrorizer, the Decked Out Crew is brimming with revelry and raucous hyperactivity. Despite the frequent complaints from the Crew that no one gets paid, they also stated that they chose to stay for the long haul of their own volition and haven’t asked for payment, spending much of their time enjoying the game and its features instead. It is still thought that Tango Tek is not aware of most of them frequenting his vicinity due to focusing only on the monumental task in front of him and being reluctant to even think of asking for assistance. Members of the Decked Out Crew who are of age were seen gathering bottles of champagne while others decorated both inside and outside of the break room as well as the Citadel itself to the sound of booming music ranging from rock to metal and even to Halloween-themed songs. A large countdown sign has been placed in the break room to track the hours to the opening day as well, among a large supply of junk food. To the Decked Out Crew, The Overseer wishes you the best of luck in the coming months!

Located directly under the Deep Frost Citadel, this new version of Decked Out takes everything tested in the first edition and rewires it to suit the current season, using every new feature Minecraft offers that can be incorporated into the experience. Tango Tek has dedicated over thirteen months of his life to improving upon these concepts and building new ones. While the goal of the escape room-like venture for each player to retrieve an artifact within the dungeon from one of four capacious levels remains the same, enhancements built as cornerstones to this year’s edition to the game’s internal mechanics, overall environmental ambience, maze-like pathways, new creatures, and sound system among many others will make this dungeon crawler a perfectly blood-curdling and exhilarating new experience, both for those who are brand new to Decked Out and those who have played its first edition. A tutorial of how to play Decked Out will also be released on Tango Tek’s YouTube channel.

The Overseer would like to wish a well-deserved, hearty congratulations to Tango Tek for the debut of his most elaborate project yet and hopes that all of our fellow Citizens enjoy its opening day!

Now onto other news below the cut!

Weekly Weather Report

By Lydia

Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 42 degrees and a low of 28 degrees. Skies will be cloudy throughout the day with a high chance of scattered showers throughout the morning.

Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of 38 degrees and a low of 27 degrees. Skies will be mostly cloudy with high winds.

Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 26 degrees and a low of 21 degrees. Skies will be rainy throughout the entire day with all precipitation being very light.

Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 30 degrees and a low of 22 degrees. Skies will be clear throughout the day with a chance of rip currents in the ocean being very likely. Be careful if you are going swimming.

Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 40 degrees and a low of 32 degrees. Humidity will be particularly high with a chance of passing thunderstorms in the afternoon, however, expect them to dissipate quickly due to Bdubs sleeping them away.

Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 38 degrees and a low of 29 degrees. Skies will be partly cloudy with an increased chance of Server-wide confusion passing through. Be prepared to forget most of your plans today.

Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 35 degrees and a low of 26 degrees. Skies will be sunny and humid throughout the entire day. Rip currents will continue to pose a threat to those going swimming.

Wednesday; Temperatures will reach a high of 42 degrees and a low of 35 degrees. Skies will continue to be sunny and humid throughout the day.

Lost and Found

By Lydia

All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at lostandfound@thehermitnews.org*. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you! *Not a real email address.

Item 1: A brand new leather couch This two-person dark-chocolate leather couch appears to have been made within the past month and has no markings or specific design notes attached. It was found near one of the buildings in the Scarland town square.

Item 2: A very ugly large rug This rug has a very garish design reminiscent of 1980s couches catering to the elderly population. Staff members have noted feeling disgusted and nauseous when looking at the rug and have debated sending it to Twinkly Trash just to get it out of the office.

Item 3: A metal sculpture depicting a thin angry person This metal sculpture depicts a very angry person wearing a long black dress, with long, straight hair and incredibly bloodthirsty eyebrows. The expression on their face is one the staff suspects holds the rage of a thousand suns. A tag on the sculpture reads, “The Aluminum Monster.”

Item 4: A pair of binoculars This pair of binoculars was found near Grian’s base, along with several notes related to birdwatching.

Item 5: A field guide to Nether mobs This field guide was found near Jevin’s base and contains a very basic overview for new players regarding exactly what it says on the cover. Several notes have been made in the margins of this book, presumably from someone who may be very new to the game.

Item 6: Six large bowling pins These bowling pins were found near Joe’s arcade but are not part of his entertainment center. They were found with splatters of paint and haphazardly thrown together in an open Shulker box.

Item 7: A set of drawings of aliens These drawings depict aliens presumably formerly occupying Pearl’s alien biome, with notes scrawled on them regarding different species evolutions. Some of them are drawn to be as harmless-looking as possible while others are drawn to be imposing and inherently eye-catching.

Item 8: A baby Warden Found before it learned to Shriek, this Warden was found making clanking sounds in the sewer and had a name tag written in an ancient indeterminable language. Believed to be harmless, it is in its very early cognitive development stages.

Item 9: An axe guitar This axe acoustic guitar has strings coated in gold and finely tuned, and has an axe edge equivalent to that of Sharpness 5.

Note: Items that are unclaimed after two weeks will be sent to Twinkly Trash Trade or kept at Overseer HQ for our own use.

Fun and Games

This week's fun and games are once again brought to you by Lydia and Azure!

Word Search and Crossword by Lydia

Brain Teasers by Azure

And that's all for this week folks! Hope you have a wonderful time at Decked Out 2's grand opening and have a great week!

[dirtcube]

decided to check out tubnet.gg, as someone who has never existed on any minigame server since like. 2010 minecraft.

So, I’ve never played on hypixel or mineplex or whatever mainly for the reason that those servers are so huge that I feel like i’ll quickly get overwhelmed by all the ongoings. I was hoping to try out tubnet when it was still early after its launch in order to get a little more used to a calmer server that isn’t spanning several thousands of players at a time. I’m going in entirely blind- this is the experience of someone playing a minigame server for the first time ever lmao.

So, heres some quick first impressions

Everything looks beautiful. Genuinely, the build team and the art team did an incredible job. Everything is packed with details and exploring the place is incredibly neat. There’s little things to discover strewn about. I accidentally found the giant rat who makes all of the rules. The best part of the hub area I think is that you can actually find the game areas IN the main lobby map manually, if you dont want to use the compass to teleport you to it directly.

I do think that Tubnet should have some sort of “introduction” room before you get permanently unleashed into the city. A room that just casually explains how everything works, what things are, how to navigate the place, etc. You kind of just get thrown in blind and as someone who has never been on a minigame server before I was admittedly quite overwhelmed with what was going on. I wasn’t sure where I should go for information and so far I still haven’t figured it out aside from the offsite forums which isn’t a great thing. Information should be first accessible in-game, and also on the forums if necessary. Ingame there’s no explanation if its premium currency, Qubits, are entirely paid-only or if they can be earned by doing things. There’s no explanation of what XP means on this server. You’re just kind of in the deep end with no help.

more under the cut

In terms of games, there’s 3 main games, and a bunch of side games strewn about. Allegedly. My first game, however, was at the spawn of the lobby. There was a food truck that I believe was made as part of its lunchables ad spot and had a single-player game where you make the orders that show up on the screen.  Here, a common theme of a core problem with Tubnet began. The lack of any instructions or information. Sure, there were brief instructions in the chat, but the game started near-instantly and there was no real “This is the thing that the chat is talking about”. No brief “flyaround” with the camera showcasing the game elements or tutorial options. The instructions in the chat talk about the order screen, but I had no idea what part of the righthand side of the map WAS the order screen. It took a while until I figured out how it worked but after I bumbled about I managed to play it and it was an enjoyable little game. Apparently you get something if you reach 20 orders completed, it’d be nice to mention this somewhere unless I missed it.

After this I decided to try out the games. Out of the 3 big launch games, one was offline for ?? reasons. No worries, I’ll try the other two. I go to the lobby area for the crystal rush game, and look around the area for instructions. There’s a big section that’s labelled “INFO”, which I was expecting to give me something more... detailed. But all I could find was a small part of the wall that gave me the goal of the game with confusing terms. Entering the game itself did not give me a brief instruction on what the goal is. I eventually realised the game is just bedwars but with a resource pack. I don’t like hypercompetitive games like bedwars so I lost rather quickly and didn’t go back for another round. Instead I went back to exploring.

There’s these mini parkour challenges that are integrated into the city itself so it feels a lot more natural running around and trying to do parkour. I absolutely suck at it- haven’t parkoured in years and probably won’t be trying to on tubnet for an easy reason:

Visual noise. So. Much. Visual noise. It looks beautiful, yes, but if i’m trying to parkour it’s super difficult to wrap my head around some areas with just the amount of things on the screen. Certain parkour areas I just gave up on because I could no longer tell where I was supposed to go- what was part of the parkour and what was just the building decoration.

I frankly think one main problem with tubnet is that it keeps drawing my attention to places that make me think something is gonna be there, and then I find out there’s nothing to do there. It’s a little disappointing, frankly.

Right now there’s no games for casual players and no “parkour hub”. The game compass does not allow you to quickly warp to the side-games which is frankly weird. You have to get lost in the city to find any of the side games or parkour sections in the map and while I get that its there to encourage exploration it’s also very inconvenient if you have to run halfway across the city just to try some parkour.

I haven’t tried the other game for now, from what I can loosely gather its team based competitive? I might try it some other time in the future. For now I’m probably just going to sit and wait for something for more casual players to show up.

All in all, I think that its not my thing for now. It’s visually overwhelming, easy to get lost, and the games aren’t all that fun being mainly competitive with the only supposedly casual game being nonfunctional on launch. It also feels a tad too empty for the amount of stuff it has in the hub. Like it feels there should be more in so many sections of the map but I can’t really... Find whatever should be there.

[dungeondensmxm25]

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[kylerofru53]

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