#believe i am constantly wrong | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

opens-up-4-nobody · 10 days

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#my eyes hurt from the smoke. and also probably the crying #bc my life choices and all that #but tomorrow i have my 1st control freak class for lonely losers #v curious abt the demographics #like who tf attends a class like this #i am attending this class as i prepare myself emotionally to yet again exercise extreme control over my life. bc taking it easy isnt working #and i continue to b no thoughts empty head about every single paper i ever read. fun. fun. fun. lov that #did learn today that im more emotionally open than most people who r overly controlled. cool. great. i think that probably makes me less #intolerable than ur average contol freak 😎#also i just cant stand the idea of being wrong and so fucking inflexible i cant tell im the problem. therefore i must #believe i am constantly wrong #ugh. im sweepy. take me out to the river and let me drown #unrelated

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mythicalcoolkid · 2 months

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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side

#m/cc #mine #I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges #and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like #a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with #there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example #or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone #*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have #I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side #for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others #for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me #and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public #and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist #that's why there's so much awareness happening for it #but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people

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jeanboyjean · 7 months

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*taps mic* hi all, i would like it to be known that i am first and foremost a jean fucker. thank u for listening. *drops mic*

#just in case u were wondering #if i don't talk about him for even 1 day i feel like im doing something wrong #best believe i am thinking about him constantly #𖡎 . chlo chats shit

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funnylittlelad · 3 months

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there's something so uniquely humiliating and vulnerable about having to appeal to other people to see your disability. it's like exposing the most raw parts of myself, parts i am still learning to live with and accept, and asking for just the simple human act of thought. it isn't ableist or weird to acknowledge someone's disability and act accordingly. it doesn't make you better to treat someone exactly the same despite their disability. it makes you ableist.

#don't mind me just ranting #i live in a situation where someone is constantly acting like im not disabled #because they don't believe i am #forget all the diagnoses and the mobility aid #but yeah having to ask to be treated with basic human dignity is not fun #funnylittle ramblings #heds #hypermobile ehlers danlos #hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome #disability things #if you don't agree that's fine this is based on something personal and i don't need to be told why i'm wrong thanks!

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spacenintendogs · 1 year

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In your modern au headcanon post you mentioned snotlout being a music teacher and this is all I could think of

he gave them a worksheet to work on for 10 minutes but it took 20 bc they won't stop talking abt him.

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captn3 · 1 month

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your dni list is fucking insane and i mean it in the worst way possible please go outside i'll be praying for you to get better ❤️

oh hey thanks for reminding me i need to update my carrd a bit i havent updated it in a while and i think ive changed a lot in the past few months. however if this is because of one little thing on there that i truly believe in and probably always will LOOOOL SOMEONES SALTY THAT IM RIGHT

#ask #anonymous #memo's ted talk #ohhh anon hate. i am not as online pilled as some other people i promise. plus ive been taking a break from social media posting in general #like ive just been scrolling sometimes and doing other stuff with my life other times #instead of constantly scrolling like i used to #anyway really funny ask. ive been doing really good mentally. but i did see some things that were like.#yea im removing that i was pissed when i wrote my dni some of that shit was just me being a bitch to ppl who did nothing wrong 😭#but like. in general this is a very negative ask so i find it hard to believe anon genuinely cares

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gregmarriage · 3 months

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this was meant to be a funny post, but then it got deep imao

not a relationship person, but i believe in their beliefs

#me when i lie #it always comes round to june and i’m always single and it’s quite honestly homophobic #imaooooo nah it’s not that deep i’m just coming on my period hehe x #literally keep saying the same thing about relationships #like i shouldn’t get into one just because i’m lonely #and rush things and completely blow up my life on impulse #but i don’t know any other way #need to learn to take it slow and *actually* take it slow #because the last time i “took it slow’’ it all went wrong #basically i want a relationship at some point but when all your relationships are the same #it really gets to you #and i keep thinking about (redacted) and how much i fucked it all up #but also like would we really have worked out?#if i’d actually believed everything she said would we be okay?#do i not have a life? or am i not allowing myself to have a life?#bc literally i think i’ve gotten so used to being on the floor that i’ve forgotten how to get up #and like if i really tried i could actually get what i want #and i know that sounds obvious but like bear with me #i’ve basically shoved myself into a deep dark hole and covered myself up with dirt and then forgotten i can dig myself out #i *can* be with someone seriously #like yeah it’s uncomfortable and scary and it means facing up to certain things that make my stomach hurt but i will never have a life if i #don’t do these things #i can’t allow myself to basically get pushed back into the closet #i can’t allow myself to be infantilised and treated like shit all the time #like even if i’m surviving purely via spite for a while it’s better than the alternative #instead of constantly talking about the same thing and how nothing ever changes i should actually change it #again obvious but i’m usually miles behind bc my brain… isn’t great is probably the kindest way i could put that #and that’s okay. like it’s hard but it’s okay #even if i’m living out my teenage years and doing the things i’d wished i’d done then at 25+ that’s fine #there’s a whole fucking world outside my bedroom door so maybe i should go actually see it?

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033h · 9 months

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fr tho do other people go through life not feeling like they r constantly under attack from everyone and everything…?

#tbh lately I’ve been realizing and pondering #I feel like I’ve created a life where I constantly feel unstable and unable to connect with others and am very afraid all the time #I’m trying to find stability first but how do other people go through life believing they’ll be met with kindness??#instead of feeling like everyone around them thinks they did something wrong #i feel like I’ve been just surviving for months #um time to go back to therapy I guess

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g0thsoojin · 2 months

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📓🖊♣️

#i think i'll try to do this bc ...honestly i cant vent freely anymore #for many reasons #i just am too emotionally weak and vulnerable to deal with a small handful albeit ppl who are mean to me #im too sensitive and fragile for it i cant do it #so even if i've tried this several times .. a separate vent blog.. i will try again #for my own peace of mind <3 #plus.. venting has actually caused me so many issues w ppl and connection i've had ://#both on twitter and tumblr #and now part of why it got fucked up with him.. the loml.. was bc he got the wrong side of me #from all my miserable vent posts #i kept posting abt how 'nobody cares abt me' and then he felt like he didnt matter to me #bc i literally kept saying such things :(((#and tbh me venting publically is not worth it at all #it wasnt the only reason but part of it was that i said too much of that constantly #and bc of everything going on w him he just believed i didnt care abt him #fuckkkkk that makes me so sad and regretful but its done #i do kinda hate myself for that tho...#i need to learn how to not feel the need to constantly 'vent'#and learn how to just be ok w having these passing thought and feelings #and only vent when i really need to not every second #losing him... wasnt worth any of it #but ig just starting to not put it on my actual blog and keep it separate is a start #im weird abt what i do and such so it might seem like im overthinking #but i just need to be clear w myself and compartamentalize #and it helpd to tell myself that ill do this and then try to do it #instead of just thinking it #anyway idk #even if its too late with him i dont wanna risk more rude things said to me i just cant take it #and venting causes problems kinda always anyway #so learning to do it less and less is good

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woahajimes · 11 months

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i feel so out of place

#im not #aaa #i cant balance school and a job #and my grades arent even phenomenal #and i have a gym membership and i rarely go but grad is soon and im not gonna be skinny and oh #yk what baffles me #listen when i got to ecuador july 5 i was like 115lb #up until like aug 15 i was 120ish and then all of a sudden i was 130lb?? which was insane to me #like i couldnt believe my eyes i was just like. listen if it were gradual id believe it but 10 in 10 days is that normal #anyways i only saw it once and i wanted to kms #we're back in canada and im back at 117ish but #i think i legitimately misread #or like idk the scale was wrong #but aughhh i felt so good in ecuador and here i feel like a loser like all the girls are so #listen i am not a loser by any means but ohhh the voices #also i have terrible anxiety like i need to investigate this #also anxiety levels are a lot higher in the US/CAN than other countries #like i went to ecuador and theres a lot less mental health issues but oh the men are polars #like theres a lot to work on yk esp w men like not the dynamics ive talked abt that before but i mean like the wya they view women even sub #like i was thinking abt my ex and how he'd constantly complain to me about this girl on the girls scocer team that was a 'whore' and #supremely 'slutty' and hed use all these horrible terms #like okay maybe shes flirty and sleeps around as you say but why would you speak of a woman like that #like it scared me a little bc hed be like genuinely angry too #so yeah #where was i #oh yeah i need to like get skinny #short torso wide ribcage ...#like bffr. pick one #at least i got a fat ass idgaf #its also 3am i feel terrible. ive been sleeping really good tho

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electriccenturies · 3 months

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The more you treat your mental illness the harder it is to live with the person who gave you said mental illness

#don’t raise your kids to have compulsions and obsessions!!!!!!!!!!#like actively instilling those in your kids wtf?!#my mother cannot cope with the slightest bit of stress or conflict she freaks the fuck out and it’s SO HARD TO LIVE WITH #like I am a non-functional perfectionist in large part because I was raised to believe that if you’re not going to do something perfectly-#then you shouldn’t bother to do it at all. my mom is not glass half empty she’s more like #maybe the glass might tip over so even though it’s full right now we should assume it’s empty and prepare ourself emotionally #and if things aren’t perfect than you’re a failure so you need to be constantly thinking about what if (when) things go wrong #but it’s sooooooo hard cause unlike her I do see mine as a disorder and I see how miserable it makes me and I’ve worked really hard to he #and she simply has no interest in that so it results in her trying to drag me back down with her

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jammmbi · 5 months

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god i need therapy and to move out

#aka i need to move out #idk how much longer i can take listening to my parents just say shit and have opinions and then expect me to feel the same way #and when i disagree suddenly i’m siding with the wrong people #when quite literally i’m trying to make you understand that your thoughts are not the only thoughts to be considered #while also trying to validate their feelings but that they’re not communicating at all and are taking it out on ppl #i am so so so tired of being the constant middleman between my family members and ultimately having to hear everyone say shit abt everyone #and expect me to immediately agree or understand #like girlies you can all be wrong and you all are and the fact that you aren’t willing to admit your wrongdoings is your first problem #your second was expecting me to hype you up and encourage your behavior #having to constantly remind myself that it’s not my responsibility to keep the peace or to solve my familial issues #and the one time i tried to explain this it was met with ‘no one’s asking you to’#which is true !!! but then why are ALL OF YOU complaining to me and only me #why are you burdening me with all of this information #and if i tell you i can’t handle it or don’t want to talk about it i’m suddenly the bad guy too #i can’t win here your honor !!! the only solution in which i win is to get OUT #and of course i can’t make anyone say or do or believe anything #i’m not naive enough to think i can #but sitting there silent isn’t helping and speaking doesn’t either and there’s no other good solution #it’s just exhausting

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snekdood · 1 year

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Quite honestly, i think people just dont like to acknowledge how many times i have been victimized bc it doesnt work for their narrative of the Scary Bad Trans Guy With No Regard For Others And Likes To Kick Puppies And Doesnt Know Real Pain Or Trauma

#bc otherwise yall would have to feel bad about putting me through way more additional unnecessary trauma on here #and i swear its yall who believe everything my abuser says about me. you need to tell yourself its true that i did the shit they accuse me #of and theyre just this pure uwu innocent pewson who doews no wongg umu #yall dont wanna except ive been through hell bc then you gotta accept youve put me through additional unnecessary hell that only warped my #perception worse of a community i thought i was fuckin part of and accepted in but apparently tf not #like you only have yourselves to blame for that shit. for why i hate online queer spaces now.#man it would just suck so so hard for your narrative if i was actually abused as much as i say and my abusive x was actually lying about me #bc otherwise how will you pretend trans men never ever experience any issues ever?#like i dont need to look. ik im one of the main blogs yall like to target and put on blast for transandrophobia stuff bc im super fuckin #outspoken about my shit (nevermind that yall never directly confront me). i already know thats how it is bc theres ppl on here who have a #apparently deep interest in constantly hating me and trying to find reasons im wrong. so when i say something is bad they habe to act like #its good actually somehow. and ik it all roots back to my abuser. there is literally no other reason i can think of that would mame ppl #that invested in hating me unless they believe everything my ex says. so undoubtedly theres ppl in my exs spaces who believe #transandrophobia is fake men arent oppressed ever etc etc. i digress. but ik its yall who've propped this whole shit up #ik its yall who put me on blast for this first and triwled to spread it that i was one of the Big Bad Names in the transandrophobia spaces #so ik yall use me as an example. ik you tell people i lie about everything. ik you tell people i exaggerate. ik you tell people im crazy #ik you tell ppl they cant trust me or rely on me and spread all the bs my ex says about me and even spreads their abuse toward me further #by even doing that shit. yall NEED to keep believing that im the Big Bad Trans Guy that you think i am bc otherwise your whole worldview #falls tf apart. everything you've been standing on online about how trans mascs who believe in transandrophobia are bad would fall apart.#if i am really as fuckin abused and victimized as i say. suddenly you dont get to use me as the example for Bad Transandrophobia Believer #and I KNOW thats the only reason yall choose not to listen or believe us. its LITERALLY just because you're choosing a side in a personal #relationship situation. ik it has nothing to do with politics for plenty of you. you're taking a side and shitting out reasons for why you #did after the fact.#if you really care about politics n shit you should listen to ALL THE OTHER TRANS MEN TALKING ABOUT THIS #besides using one person as your example for why you shouldnt believe people who believe this is a thing.#i mean. even aside the fucking fact that its all bs. if yall dont wanna believe me. whatever. you can get traumatized by them if you want #idefc at this point. if you actually care about politics as much as you say you gotta engage w people in good faith and uh maybe try n #listen to the SWATHES of other trans guys who also talk about this shit and thinks its real.

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lith-myathar · 8 months

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#say what you will about sera dragon age but they really were nailing something #with the ''sometimes we aren't capable of real change until someone loves and accepts us exactly as we are'' thing #if you've gone through life being told there's something wrong with you from every direction and constantly asked to change and improve #that creates both some extreme problems around self worth (feeling inherently damaged and unlovable) and a LOT of anger #anger that's got no real target so everything and everyone becomes something to resent and resist #you are not enough. you will never be enough. even the people who love you are always trying to fix you in the name of helping #and maybe you tried to be different!!! but it didn't work and so you are a constant disappointment #finding somebody who just loves you and sees you amd doesn't demand that you change is.... unthinkable #suspicious. trusting that is not going to come easily #but if it's genuine? that's a place where growth can really start. because it stops being about fighting back and all the resentment #it lets you start believing that maybe change is not synonymous without capitulation or losing this battle you've been fighting #your entire life against the world telling you you aren't good enough #a part of you believed it but another part also knew it wasn't fair and that's the part #that would rather destroy yourself with self destructive behaviors than admit they're right #ahem. i am definitely projecting here but there's a reason i always felt super attached to her!!#and i think i get it now a lot more than i used to

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aro-ortega · 1 year

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can we acknowledge the text that implies (?) sidestep is only ten years old for a second

#once again. i do not have screenshots...#i believe its text during the car crash. post mind convo w anathema ?#something something. your life flashes before your eyes. six years. four more to go #like am i reading this wrong ? i feel like step should be a little older that seeing as hb was 7 years ago #how long were they active as sidestep #i dont have access to the timeline rn but i am constantly thinking about the implications of that line what does it mean #op #sidestep #fallen hero retribution spoilers

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scoopsgf · 2 years

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What do you think about rory comparing herself to MLK when she gets sentenced? I was already starting to see the changes and the character and while I didn’t like them, I was still rooting for her because I could see she was lost and hurting. But that line was just the nail in the coffin for me, because it really showed how privileged and entitled she is. She’s had a lot of things handed to her easily thanks to her grandparents, and that’s not her fault, but she really grew to expect to be fawned over and for things to be easy. She just grew up into this unrecognizable toddler of an adult and completely lost her drive and ambition it seems. Idk I loved rory pre-yale, and the writers butchered her post hs

#gilmore girls #*sigh*#i am so tired #so. sooooooo sick of dealing with rory antis WHY do you come into my askbox expecting me to agree w you #sis have you even scrolled. do you even know like. the basics of this blog #anyway. bad take. agree with 0% of it.#she was in no way entitled. did she have privilege because of her grandparents? yes #but she also came up with a complete payment plan after they agreed to cover her tuition #and she studied hard. worked her ass off at the YDN. earned her place there #then she had a crisis because she was told that she wasn’t cut out to be a journalist #which is what she spent her entire life aspiring to be #so naturally she spiralled. dropped out and felt lost and confused and hopeless #which? like? what the fuck is wrong with that? cannot wrap my mind around the lack of compassion there #she never expected to be fawned over. in fact all the fawning from SH folks and her grandparents made her incredibly uncomfortable #and she was constantly refuting claims that she was ‘perfect’ or ‘the best kid ever’#she had so much self doubt and insecurity #which mitchum’s BS only compounded #in no way was she behaving like a toddler. she was behaving like a 21 year old girl who believed everything she’d ever been told about #herself was a lie. GOD i am exhausted i am so tired #anyway she still had drive and ambition. she just had shit to figure out. just because her questioning stage happened later in life #doesn’t mean she’s some lazy piece of shit leeching off of her grandparents’ money #and don’t forget to take Logan’s influence into consideration #it’s not like he did much to help or steer her back on the right path #in fact he encouraged the opposite. scumbag #anyway. this ask gave me a migraine i am going to lay down and hibernate until i recover #also the MLK was just a stupid writing choice and not a reflection of rory

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