#at least i got a fat ass idgaf

[shestval]

Some TAZ: Steeplechase character sketches, PCs plus a bonus Darla and Gravel. These are pretty simple and out of practice, but I'm pretty happy with the character that comes through. Some of my thoughts below the cut.

These dudes aren't spring chickens. Montrose is ageless in his early 40s, Beef is in his 50s, Emmerich 60s or maybe even early 70s.

I've never been 100% on board with Montrose's mask, it's a really strange choice to have the CHA tank also be wearing a creepy mask. (Justin gives Griffin shit about this too) So I ditched the "creepy" part (sorry Griffin) and went with something more cyperpunk. Also what if Montrose has a disfiguring scar? That at least gives him a reason to have the mask. I know my Montrose doesn't match fanon consensus, idgaf.

Their uniform for Poppy's Place is black and magenta bowling shirts. Emmerich always wears his.

Beef got fat as he got older. But BEEFY fat, like a deadlifter. I stole heavily from Sig Curtis from FMA for Beef's design. He's probably got tattoos but I couldn't be assed to figure them out rn. I gave Beef the broken nose and then listened to the episode where he broke his nose the next day, ha! (I'm behind because I dropped TAZ during Graduation and only recently picked it back up with Ethersea. I've got lots of Ethersea ideas too but I have so little time for drawing.)

I'm sure I have more thoughts but head empty rn.

[sxdrgsnvlnc]

TW; Ana, SW

Just a vent, i recovered a few years ago and relapsed recently. I remember in the past how good it felt to get down to 110, 100, and even 90 at my lowest at 5'2 and how fucking easy it felt.

BUT

I was 16 then, and I'm definitely not anymore, and i feel like since I'm older now it's so much harder to reach any GW. I think I'm sitting around 125 rn and i feel so disgusting. I see other women my age sitting around similar heights and weights as me but they look so good. They're toned and fit and then i look in the mirror and I'm flabby and disgusting. When i gain weight it always sits in my stomach before anywhere else and i end up looking fucking pregnant.

After recovery i learned to accept my body, i ate healthy and regularly, worked out and did all the things. So what happened? Sex work happened. I became a stripper, exotic dancer, whatever you want to call it, right before the pandemic.

I felt hot, you know? I made money because people were attracted to my body. Now, it's been a while, and i would get a lot of comments about my lack of ass since that's what people in my city are into, i guess. So i tried to gain a little weight so i could get a bigger butt.

HA

HAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Bitch please, it all went to my stomach, just like it fucking always does. I worked out, did heavy glute exercises in addition to all the pole work and calisthenics i always did, but i got no results, at least not the ones I wanted. My fucking arms and shoulders got bigger instead, so now I'm fat with a flat ass and it's got me on the fucking EDGE, BRO.

Some comments I've gotten that have sparked this;

Me: "I need to learn to shake my ass a little better"

Old Crackhead ass stripper: "You need an ass to shake first"

Girl walks up behind me: "Wow, you have big shoulders"

Girl in locker room: "did you buy that outfit again? It's not so loose anymore" (i didn't)

Different girl in locker room: "you aren't fat, bitch, you just have wide ribs"

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK, some of you hos would punch a bitch for saying similar stuff to you. Drunk, on drugs, idgaf. I'm ready to waste away. And now it's like even starving myself isn't getting me anywhere, all i see is that ugly, fat, broad shouldered, "wide ribbed" fat pig bitch. I can't wait to get to my first GW and maybe I'll stop feeling so fucking disgusting again. Rant over.

If you don't like this post/page, please block me and move on. This blog is for me, not you. It's also for people who actually understand how this feels. I'm not anti recovery, but please let me put my feelings out in here. If i tell this to a therapist I'll never see the light of day again. Thank you ✨✨

[angelyuji]

I don’t have a tik tok, sorry 😅

Right!!?? They KILLED the characters development! Especially Five!! I know everyone deserves love but Five with Lila??? (I’m not gonna talk about the actors age cause even tho it’s a big gap, they are a c t i n g, I think people should remember that, there wasn’t even a sex scene between them)

Going back, it was Five the one that made Lila realize she was in love with Diego + he spend 45 years in that apocalypse missing his family every second, are the writers really gonna say to us that THAT SAME FIVE would fall in love with Lila??? I know they spend 7 years trapped in that reality, but come on! AND what Diego said to Five in the van? That Lila told him that “you can’t get pregnant while breastfeeding”? That rubs off in soooo many ways for me… I kinda liked Lila in S3 but not anymore

Plus, the “jokes” about Diego being fat when in reality he’s really fit? I mean, we saw him in the fight with the CIA

Luther got dumber and dumber this season and I hate it! Isn’t he supposed to be an astronaut? Astronauts are smart, right? Plus, they only mention Sloan ONCE! He was so in love with her in the past season (so much that he even forgot Allison) and now he doesn’t even TRIES to find her??? What type of bullshit is that??

Allison… was there… and mad… Well, she and Claire rescued Klaus but… what happened with Ray anyway? They did got divorced? Why? They seemed so in love. But then she was jealous of Sloane… but she didn’t wanted a relationship with Luther either… I mean, she didn’t even tried to talk/flirt with him anymore…

Ben… he was never a part of the Hargreeves, at least for what I felt. Even after saving Viktor. The sudden relationship with Jennifer was SO rushed, even when they explained it. I mean, if Reginald wanted to kill her, why didn’t he did it right away? She was a kid who was found inside of that calamari (English is not my first language, I don’t remember if that’s the correct word, sorry 😅) ANYONE would suspect of her death anyway

Then, the writers “saved” Klaus only to make him a drug addict AND a sex slave again??? What happened to his development??? He WAS at peace with his powers and could even fully control them for what??? I would preferred it if they made him a cult leader again, ugh

I KNOW this is gonna be controversial (like the thing I wrote in the beginning) buuuuuut I liked Vanya WAY MORE than Viktor

I’m not a transphobe I swear! It’s just that I could empathize more with Vanya while with Viktor... I know he was trying to save Ben and Jennifer and that was the right thing for a brother to do(? But like I said, I could empathize more with Vanya

Which leads me to a more controversial take 😅

I think Vanya and Five should have to be the couple that got together and were happy

lol i have an account on basically every social media platform to exist lolol

the whole five x lila thing was sooo weird like ughhhhhhhhh lila and diego were so cute and the whole "i thought you didn't like bracelets???" when he DID give her bracelet when they were in the hospital together??? alsoo five would NEVER betray his brother like that. thats crazy (lets not even talk abt how awk it must have been to film this when lila's actress has known aiden g since he was a minor like)

also diego ripping his shirt off and he's ripped and im like ???? wheres the dad bod??????

yeah allison never even fully used her new powers. i liked allison and klaus's relationship tho like every scene with them made my heart hurt. it did piss me off that they made klaus fall back to drugs and be used as a slave like ugh.

the jennifer stuff was soooo stupid like god idgaf abt this girl at all. also like why didn't reginald kill her???? weak ass bitch reginald and his weirdo wife

i love viktor, sorry, he's so fine i need him. i also prefer viktor becuz vanya was annoying lowkey lmao

also im sorry again but no to vanya x five, i hated luther x allison so much. i liked sissy and also viktor being a man-whore is sooo :)))) need him!!

[troglobite]

hey so i have health insurance for....the foreseeable future? idk when that will end.

and once i’m out of grad school and i’m vaccinated, i can start SERIOUSLY getting back into eating normally and exercising my normal amount, which i think should get my weight down a little bit/back to relatively normal, and fix whatever health problems are currently kinda outta whack rn

and so........

i’m like, heavily considering breast reduction surgery.

considerations:

i am terrified of pain & don’t tend to handle it SUUUUUPER well

when i got my root canal done i was under IV sedation, and i sobbed hysterically and was like unbelievably hopelessly depressed and defeated-feeling for like 1.5-2 full weeks afterwards, i just had to wait it out

i am terrified of bodily fluids

i am terrified of being physically ill, like being made nauseous from pain or pain killers (i have a prescription antiemetic for Just In Case situations already)

i’m autistic and i get VERY FREAKED OUT when my body changes. i’m concerned that having my nerves have to fix themselves and having New Things to look at on my body will completely freak me out and never feel Right again.

terrified of losing my nipples. idgaf about being able to breastfeed, but i DO want my nipples :(

idk how i feel about scars

i’ve never had surgery before

okay those are the negatives, here at the things that are making me consider it really heavily:

GENDER EUPHORIA

ELIMINATE GENERAL DYSPHORIA AROUND MY SILHOUETTE

i want pretty boobs :( 

my boobs are genuinely like Gross. by which i mean the whole under-boob area is a nightmare, as anyone w Giant Honkeroos would know

my back neck and shoulders are constantly killing me

I WANT TO FIT INTO THE CLOTHES THAT I WANT TO WEAR FOR FUCK’S SAKE OH MY GOD JUST LET ME WEAR SHIRTS THAT ACTUALLY FIT PLEASE I WANT MORE OPTIONS FOR CLOTHING ALKJDSFLAKSDJFL

i don’t wanna pay $60 for a single bra anymore

i’d like to wear a normal average everyday bra that doesn’t dig into every single part of my torso and shoulders

i can’t exercise properly with these things

they genuinely just HURT sometimes for NO REASON

i would like to do yoga without LITERALLY CHOKING ON MY BOOBS

so.

thoughts?

i want advice, i want stories, i want guidance, i want reassurance. 

i’m miserable with these things. 

i mention the weight loss bc my boobs have gotten just a little bigger w my weight gain, and they might actually go down in size just a bit in the near future, once i’m out of grad school, idk. 

so like. idk. idk what to do here. i really just want someone who’s had it done before to talk to me.

if you follow me/are friends w me on other social media that’s more amenable to longform conversations like this please feel free to contact me there. 

//sighs loudly

oh i figure i should also say:

i don’t plan on binding much, if at all, if i end up getting breast reduction. i don’t want top surgery, i don’t want a flat chest. i want cute, manageable, healthy boobs that don’t feel like a massive pain in the ass/neck/chest/shoulders/back to clean and take care of, and still fail. 

i want cute reasonably sized boobs. 

(i think it’ll also be easier to exercise and lose a little more weight with smaller boobs; i’m a naturally fat person, so this isn’t a “i’m gonna be THIN!” thing, it’s really genuinely just a “i enjoy exercising, but these giant fucking things make it goddamn impossible to enjoy it all the time”; and so also i mention this bc even if they’re “small” proportionally, i think i’ll continue to lose a lil weight or at least shape up, and they should be proportional to my frame, but i imagine i’d talk about that in a consultation)

anyway

HELP PLEASE

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S3 Ep 19: Seto and Mokuba are Turned Into Inanimate Objects...Again

Last we left off on the world’s most awkward family reunion, Moki was being used to take advantage of Seto again, which happens at least 2 times a season.

What’s kind of wild about this, is that everyone jumps to the conclusion that Seto is absolutely going to murder his little brother. Seto. The guy who 2 seasons ago was willing to absolutely jump off a ledge for his little brother.

And then suddenly, Duke makes his feelings known about just life in general at this point.

Duke in the background just spiraling deeper and deeper into his IDGAF apathy. And to be honest, Duke might not be fully aware of who Mokuba even is. It’s not like they’ve ever had a conversation, other than maybe “ah, you work for Pegasus, he locked me in a tower for weeks and then killed me by turning me into a little paper card and then tried to seize control of my company. Nice. Nice that he isn’t in jail.”

In fact, since Duke does work with Pegasus who probably is still doing his best to compete with/work with the Kaiba business...Duke actually has a lot to gain, business wise, by killing Mokuba. Like, I’m pretty sure Duke isn’t a mole but he could be. He has...a lot of motive, actually.

If bro hadn’t straight up told me that Duke isn’t a mole like I suspected, than I’d still be waiting for that other shoe to drop. But it won’t. A shame.

Anyways this shows up:

All I’m saying is that a black hole is an astronomical region in space and a dark hole is very often a butthole, but youknow...maybe that’s just a very particular English language thing that no one will ever teach you from a textbook and it just didn’t quite get translated over correctly. But yeah, in my eye, Noah's just up there holding up a sphincter. It’s very fitting, he is an asshole. Congrats, Noah Kaiba, you’ve found your card.

Meanwhile, Yugi is doing his very best to try and backseat, even if Kaiba instinctively slaps it out of his hands at every opportunity.

So I figured that he’d mention that both of these boys carry these card lockets around their necks with a little picture of the other brother inside--a little thing they carry for no other reason than to remember eachother. Which makes sense, because Kaiba forgets things SO OFTEN. The necklace around their necks is almost like those bracelets you wear to let police and medics know if you’re prone to narcolepsy--it even has a nice picture inside to indicate “please return this boy to this pictured person in case you find him wandering about completely lost.”

I kinda figured that necklace would be used at some point but nah, we’re gonna talk about cards. Which is fine, because we get to see this good drawing Mokuba made once.

Which, PS, it was sort of hard to pick up on the first time Kaiba talked about this period of his life, but this time when he talked about this incident it like...left quite a bit highly implied there by what Seto meant when he said Mokuba “saved me.” It’s some pretty heavy stuff that kind of gets blown over by the massive magic dragon that shows up in the next scene and then just flies Mokuba, who is wearing very cute fuzzy socks, up into the sky and into the moon like ET.

Nowadays they do this by hanging off of Helicopters, but flying on dangerous things to escape their horrible childhood has been their Fantasy for a very long time. These kids and their obsession with heights and dangerous ledges.

And apparently it was this moment in his youth that Seto decided he wanted to be “worthy enough to hold a Blue Eyes.” And like...I remember S1 Seto. That was the worthy Seto?

I guess “worthy enough” doesn’t really imply any sort of moral code, just if you have enough money and can like play cards pretty OK.

Anyways, it was a lot of new stuff applied to this card that I just only recently accepted as a GF and so it was like “All right show, I see what you’re doing, I guess we’re going to walk slowly out of the paper romance realm and into...some sort of card-honor brother realm.”

So, using the Blue Eyes, Kaiba destroys a bunch of Gradius ships, which Noah was like “These Gradius ships represent our Father’s company!” in case you’re a child and didn’t see the symbolism. And, along the way, he destroys what he thinks is Noah’s Game Master card but like...it’s this show, so apparently inside the Boat was another dude and the game is going to keep on going, fml.

Ah buckle up this...this is going to be a long one. This is going to be a lot more cards, huh?

Anyway, when I saw this card that is clearly based on a couple of Gods I was like “so um...isn’t that a...God card?” so I looked it up, also because it was BS and I was frustrated that it was even here after the boat thing ended, and this card is a...get this...a Fairy card.

Cuz it has wings? Like a Seraphim? Everything about this looks like a conglomeration of different Gods but--I guess since God Cards can only have the 4 God Cards, this is a...Fairy card. Interesting. That is a huge ass Fairy. Yugioh biology really eludes me.

Anyway, First thing Noah does as a fairy is destroy his younger brother who is also older than him, don’tthinkaboutit. He’s again sporting the poorly photoshopped glowing romper that the dub gave us in order to spare us.

Hey!

Question!

So when Noah’s wearing the game Master outfit, he’s ass naked underneath--but the Big 5 weren’t? Like wouldn’t the Big 5 have had the same issue of Noah here where they have no body, so whatever they’re wearing is just whatever they’re in?

Meaning that when they were all shoved in Tristan’s body wouldn’t they have just been 5 naked fat old guys hanging out like a European sauna? 

Or is this just Noah’s preference? To be ass naked when no one’s looking? Because he’s been here all alone for 6 years, so why the hell not? Like, no one cares. No one’s looking. You can’t get splinters or whatever. Just let it all hang loose, man, it’s not even a real body. 

Like, if you look closely, Noah only has ... one outfit he’s had here for 6 years. I’ve noticed this maybe more than most because...it’s not a great outfit. He had that same suit and shorts combo right after he woke up and got out of his jammies from the accident all those years ago. He also wore a space suit once, but that was a Birthday present from Dad and I haven't seen the suit since.

Did Noah recognize that People Are Coming and was like “oh dammit, dammit, I have to cover the goods” and just throw on literally the only thing in his closet? The office shorts combo from 6 years ago? Is that why? Is that the big secret of the baby boy suit shorts? That he, in reality, never really wears them?

Questions about nudity aside, out of freakin no where Noah just turns the Kaibas into this:

Noah spent like 20 episodes saying no one is ever allowed to cheat and then just flippin does this and is like “What? It’s almost legal enough.”

I mean, it’s not like there’s any official rules for Duel Monsters anyway but apparently you can just turn each other into statuary and it’s like...fine. That’s fine.

Also, fun fact, about Yugioh statues, they come with eyeliner built in.

So much dedication to the guyliner in this show, mad respect.

And yes, I have sort of thought that Moki’s been sporting a teeny tiny Adam Lambert line this whole time. Like most our cast, honestly. But not Joey. I feel like Joey would never have the patience to learn how to waterline.

I mean the Kaiba’s are essentially brain dead, yes? Their brain functions have been removed and uploaded to the cloud to never be downloaded back into their vegetable bodies? That counts enough for me.

Seto Kaiba just 2 corpses away from 169ing the Hell out of that death scene. A shame.

Bro was like “well at least this crying statue stuff is more like something that normally happens in a kid’s show.” and I was like “THIS? So this ever happened in Pokemon?” and bro was like “It did actually, Ash Ketchum was turned into stone and then cried as a rock statue, and then Pikachu hugged him to make him all better” And as you may be aware my bro is full of spicy headcanons so I’m not sure if that’s actually true but it was like

“Bro, was Ash Ketchum ever turned to stone because his abusive Father’s secret son, who has been turned into an evil computer, wants to kill his brother and then take over his body to run the Patriots from Metal Gear? That happened on Pokemon?” And Bro admitted “Ok, maybe not so much.”

Anyway, Pharaoh awakens to put a stop to this nonsense by bringing up the long list of things that Noah did just now that is absolutely cheating.

Anyway, this is Noah now.

He’s just this...huge 100 story tall person with very bored judgy eyes just floating in the sky with vaguely religious iconography going on and bunch of wings like that one character design that we all have in our portfolio. Yeah, you know the one. It’s this guy. We’ve all drawn this guy. Anyway, it’s going to be very hard to take him seriously when this guy has Noah’s voice.

Again, he is not, he is ass naked in there, though the dub did try and cover it up.

Anyway, next episode we get to basically start this entire duel over.

That’s nice. That’s nice of them to do to me. At least these kids finally got a chance to do some duel prep for the actual tourney they’re supposed to be doing later this season. Yeah. Remember that apocalypse? That’s still going on somehow. Maybe by the time they’ll get to it, most of the competitors will be dead?

Here’s a link to read the recaps in order from S1 Ep1

[cloudbankdownload]

konnichiwa, and welcome back to the classic “Matpat video notes from hell” series

yup we’re doing this again lol. just imagine noodle from gorillaz typing this up instead of alex and it’ll almost be just like last time! today (June 10, 2019) we’ll be watching “Game Theory: FNAF, You Were Meant To Lose (FNAF VR Help Wanted).” please note that in the thumbnail it says “don’t trust the tapes!” so you too can be mad at how he’s slandering tape girl like that. and, of course, THERE WILL BE SOME (MOSTLY MINOR) SPOILERS! YOU’VE BEEN WARNED. okay, video time!

-alright, starting off strong with a compilation of Poor Matpat (/s) and all the times he thought he’d made his last fnaf theory video (man i wish fnaf 4 was his last theory vid too)

-not even a minute in and we’ve already got some avengers endgame references smh

-jokingly calls fnaf vr “matpat insanity simulator” and MAN i WISH

-calls the game “an ~inflection~ point” like we get it you can use fancy words okay relax

-thinks there’s more games to come

-vr game supposedly is gonna lead us into “FNAF: The Next Generation�� (bro if you’re gonna come up with a name for a list games we don’t even know are gonna exist, at least be creative with it come on)

-”the meatiest game in the fnaf library” with I SHIT YOU NOT an awful graphic of freddy’s head over a disgusting pile of “ground meat” with a big yellow sun-shape with red text that says “NO FAT!” JFC MATT WHY!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS!! also y’all are welcome, i definitely took that bullet for you

-i’m only two minutes into a 23:39 video why did i sign up for this i’m gonna die

-oh joy he actually played it on gt live /s

-BRO WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT VOICE HE DID FOR THE PUPPET

-experience of the game is to “recreate the brand” and “clear its name” or w/e

-OMFG HE LITERALLY WAS TALKING ABOUT ALL THE MONEY SOCK COTTON WAS MAKING ON MERCH ONLY TO STOP AND TALK ABOUT HIS OWN FUCKING MERCH SEND HELP GET ME OUTTA HERE IM GONNA GO F E R A L

-he’s really going out of his way to say “THESE shirts are for the LADIES and THESE shirts are for the MEN” SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I KNOCK YOUR TEETH OUT

-seriously man we already knew you were a Gender Binary Cop but this is ridiculous

-there’s game theory underwear. apparently. if i had to suffer through that fact so do you.

-”if you’re a fan of all the hard work we put into each and every one of our videos” WOW matt i had know idea how hard it was to steal other people’s work and ideas for your half assed theories!!!1!!11!!!

-god he makes it sounds like his theory gear is like donating to a charity absolutely unbelievable

-by the way, that ad for his own merch was from 3:32-4:18 and that’s almost a full minute (though trust me, it felt like so much longer)

-quiero matar ese hombre (translation: i wanna kill that man)

-OH. OH HE DID NOT.

-[insert stream of cursing in multiple languages that i cannot be bothered to type out here]

-this little white bitch really just said that there was only one important character missing in the vr game–golden freddy

-“noodle!” i’m sure you’re saying. “there’s nothing wrong with matt saying that!” oh no, that wasn’t the bad thing he said. ohhh no.

-and i quote: “i mean, ballora isn’t around here either, but you know i said ‘IMPORTANT’ [voice saying “buh-buh-baom!”, explosion sfx, air horn sfx]”

-気持ち悪い！(disgusting!)

-me parece que el quiere ser un hombre muerto (it seems to me that he wants to be a dead man)

-anywayyyys back to golden freddy: she’s not in the game because she’s chillin in hell with william afton APPARENTLY

-あの、ちょっと・・・(um, not really…)

-oh excuse me, she’s in hell with william to torture him, not chill with him

-also like how we’re still assuming a lot of things /s

-man this is taking a while

-cassidy (golden freddy) never gives up her soul, proves along with scrap baby plush that help wanted takes place after pizzeria simulator

-franchise is trying to rebuild itself after yknow, a dude going on a child killing spree

-talks about the following malhare ending

-yeah we aint gonna talk about what he calls malhare

-third appearance of the name “jeremy” in the games

-says he’s put the tapes in a “cohesive narrative” order (hah, how much do we wanna bet he’s wrong?)

-lol doesn’t say the order so he can’t be called out on his bullshit (i’m too tired to try and actually piece this shit together)

-this mf really 1) called jeremy crazy 2) or maybe that he’s “just a fnaf youtuber” and 3) PUTS UP A GRAPHIC OF HIM AND MARK GIVING EACH OTHER A HIGH FIVE. bold of you to assume you deserve to be near him mister patthew.

-[GORE WARNING] his take on the jeremy incident (you know the one, it was mentioned in the tapes) is that the ink is blood and jeremy DID cut his face off with the paper cutter. if you’re here from the fnaf discord server, you were probably around when we all discussed that this was unlikely.

-oh wow he really just tried to tie that in with the bite of 87 huh

-he’s convinced jeremy dies (spoiler: we don’t–and neither do a fair bit of people)

-really blaming tape girl for the fact that she didn’t warn about not collecting the tapes until the fifteenth tape huh

-talks about all cassettes collected endings, and how you “lose” no matter what in any of the three endings

-thinks the player is destined to lose the game

-mentions inconsistencies and oddities in the tapes

-i.e. how tape girl introduces herself twice—in tape one and tape fifteen

-how she says in tape sixteen that she knows there’s a way to kill malhare when she can’t possibly be sure, because she clearly hasn’t done it herself (malhare wouldn’t exist otherwise.)

-as in, she’s secretly trying to get you to release malhare instead of killing him

-thinks malhare melded with her conscious after she tried to delete the audio files and then attempted to escape by making the next playtester release malhare

-meanwhile the player is stuck while malhare takes over their body

-thinks that maybe the player waits until the next playtester comes along and loses their consciousness, which lets the player out

-says that putting together the tapes is like putting together the petscop lore

-wonders how many williams are out there--could the ai be replicating itself into multiple people--but admits yeah probably not

-”but that’s just a theory.. a game theory” or w/e the fuck he says

-insert ancient meme about fnaf storyline here bc he was too lazy to make a graphic or w/e

-oh wait no he wants to talk about jeremy haha still gotta sit through this for another minute or so

-random appearance of shadow freddy he found, malhare has three toes (ffs sake not the toe theories again i thought we were done with that crap) like the footprints outside afton house in fnaf ps midnight motorist minigame

-lovelyyy he’s gonna make another video after “thinking” shit over

-”scott cawthon is the villain in his own game” OKAY WHATEVER IDGAF

-i hoped you enjoyed these because they were legitimately the second or third worst experience of my life and i’m really not exaggerating

[ursulaismymiddlename]

Kati's Coconut Curry Chicken Thighs

Sometimes you have a shit day. Sometimes you have a day where you haven't slept properly in a week because your toddler is keeping you awake all hours because he's so constipated his stomach hurts. Sometimes you have a day where your partner is being am ass because they're tired too. Sometimes you have a day where you call to confirm a doctor's appointment you've been waiting months for, only to find out they didn't take down your contact information at the initial scheduling so they weren't able to contact you to reschedule, so now they can't see you for another two months. Sometimes you have days where you sit and cry at your desk because it's all just too much for you.

Will my vague recipe for coconut curry chicken thighs prevent or remedy these sorts of days? Well, no. Not really. But it might help a little when you want something nourishing, wholesome, relatively cheap and easy, and tasty on days like that.

Here's what I use:

Boneless skinless chicken thighs, more flavorful and often cheaper than chicken breast, but feel free to use any part really. On occasion I've even uses fish/seafood like tilapia, cod, shrimp, and even squid, though cooking times will vary

Coconut oil, I have some on hand for baking. If you don't, feel free tp use something a bit more common like olive or vegetable/soybean oil

1 can coconut milk, you can use "lite" but honestly, just indulge. You can sometimes find these cans in the baking aisle near powdered milk and alternatives, or even in the "Asian foods" aisle

Frozen spinach. I mean honestly, cheaper by volume than fresh usually and while not as great in, say, a salad, it's great for stuff you're cooking. Just make sure it's thawed beforehand and squeeze out any excess liquids

Carrots, and if you're like me and rarely have the spoons for chopping or even running them through the food processor, save yourself the hassle and get matchstick carrots if you can and have the few cents extra

Curry powder, turmeric powder, ground cumin, dried parsley, garlic and ginger ( powdered, squeezey, or fresh, idgaf) and lime juice (straight from the lime, or out the bottle in the fridge like my silly ass haha)

Salt and pepper

Here's what I did to cook that shit

Preheat an oven to 420°F (heh, 420) and grab yourself whatever sort of cooking vessel you have that will hold your chicken thighs and sauce (i got a glass 9x13x2 dish, but you can use a throw away foil baker or a cake pan or whatever, just make sure it's deep enough

Coat the bottom of your vessel in some sort of oil so shit won't stick. Lube it up real good, y'all. This is no time for that fanfic "I'm not a porcelain doll you can break so easily" BS. LUBE YOUR ASS PAN!

Put some of that sweet, moist spinach and carrots on the bottom and place your chicken thighs over top. Season with salt and pepper and then wash your gd hands so you don't go makin people sick

For this cooking method, I tend to pop my coconut oil and the contents of my can of coconut milk, cream and water and all, into the microwave to melt, but you could simmer on the stove, or death glare it until it melts under the intensity of tour rage. Whichever works best for you!

When it's good and liquidy, go ahead and add your seasonings. I do more s&p, curry powder, ground turmeric, and ground cumin. How much of each? Well, I can't really tell you. That's a thing you need to feel in your heart, baby. But at least a good amount, and probs more curry than the others. I also add in squeezy garlic and ginger, a few good poots worth (it can sound like the tube is farting sometimes) and a lot because i fucking love ginger and garlic. Then out a little lime juice in there to cut the richness of the fats and give it a zing!

Mix it real good and pour it over your chicken as evenly as possible. Then pop all that shit in your preheated oven for a good 20-25min. Thighs are a little harder to overcook that breasts because they have more fat and connective tissue in them. I'm def a thigh gal for this recipe, myself heh

While that's cooking up, might I suggest some plain old rice as a side seasoned with salt at the very least, but also pepper, turmeric and a cinnamon stick is awesome if you've got it. Or, put a pouch of it in the microwave, I'm not tellin you how to love your life. I'm just saying rice is a staple for many cultures across the globe and it's for a damn good reason

After it's all cooked, dish yourself up some rice and put a few thighs over it along with some ladled juices and veg over top. Make that shit look as good as you want because we eat with our eyes too and you deserve something as beautiful as it is delicious.

Tuck in with your fave show on in the background and remember you never have to do this day over again. And if you get one close to it, you've now got a vague notion of something you can cook to remind you that better days are comin

Love,

~Kati🖤♥️💛💚💙💜❤️🖤

[wolfenwingsshop]

Sooo, I posted this on Twitter but, here we go, double-posting back here too.

So, I'm going to challenge myself this week. I suuuuck at drawing X. It's not that he's hard to draw! No. He's quite simple. It's me. The problem is me. It's always been me. I start to doodle and then once it becomes obvious it's X, I choke. I never finish. T_T 

I blame most of this on my upbringing, because I was a fat kid (and now fat adult) I was taught I do not deserve to exist. I firmly believed for a very long time (and still do,) that I am more beneficial to people dead than alive. Why does this mean anything about X? This: I still have a horribly huge crush on that damned blue robot, & because of being told MY ENTIRE LIFE because I am a fatass I shouldn't even think about being involved romantically with ANYTHING. well. There y'go. There's also that my family found out eventually and teased me.

Like, my little sister, love her, but she's skinny as hell and retired professional cosplayer- she'd ether be in my corner or attacking me with our 'friends' growing up. My mom just rolls her eyes if I start gushing about X. (Yet she has gotten into BTS, the K-Pop group, and I am supportive.)

There's also the fact that I got pretty publicly attacked on Tumblr fairly early on because I noticed during the MVCI development, yeah. They fixed Chun Li's face? They also gave X an OBVIOUS pubic bulge and my X fangirl ass ate it up. So, I'm used to being shamed for this.

So... my husband totally ships humans/humanoids with furries. I ship humans/humanoids with anything that isn't the same species, robots, reploids, seamonsters, idgaf it's an awesome trope. (Hello Avatar and The Shape of Water, freakin’ A I still haven’t seen The Shape of Water but GODDAMNIT I WILL ASAP) Because of this we both ship the idea of a certain blue reploid with my OC. Yknow, my icon right there. It's an old-as-hell art I did eooons ago (20+ years) when I was roleplaying, managed to hook up with the X in said RP, things happened and my OC got pregnant. The X in that RP was the adopted brother of my dear friend, NovaStrike. Nova and her wife currently live with me, we drove down to NC to save them from being kicked out by Nova’s abusive as fuck parents at the start of the new year.

Anyhow, back then, Nova found out X and my OC had hooked up in that way and was IMMEDIATELY screaming ROLL FOR PREGNANCY!!!! long story short, the dice favored X being a dad. Annnd his RPer was totally ok with it. That's where my icon comes from. They had a little wolf-eared girl with brown hair and green eyes that we named Kasumi, as I was a big DOA fan, as well, and thought it was a cute name.

I bring this up cause even now, there is no mention of X anywhere on the original image. It's on my DA, but I don't even think I mentioned that there either. It's just my poor OC, beside herself that she got knocked up.. lol, also part of the wtf is how does that happen, but yah. I think back then we just figured "SCIENCE!!" and left it at that. Anyhow... I need to stop being so scared. I'm going to try to not be and get used to doodle my boy and not choke. -_- this is gonna be beyond hard.... but there's also the continuation of my memories of WAS, too. 

Those stories... my memories.. I refuse to let those die. That stupid RP club stopped me from committing suicide. If I didn't have a literal X hovering over me during some pretty emotional times in my life, I probably wouldn't be here. So, since X has saved my life in more ways than one, I will try, damnit. I will do my best. For today, a sketch of the next WAS memory comic. Our X had an apple tree and greenhouse. His special spot, and only people REALLY FREAKING IMPORTANT got to go there with him. Our Dr. Cain, Zero.. our Roll.. people like that.

Then I got attacked by another member- he literally tried to rape my character, cause I didn't want to date him. I got a few friends to come in and make him stop, but they told our X, despite my begging them not to. So here was 16 year old me, whom already, in case nobody was aware, I am an incest survivor, so I already had bad experiences in being taken advantage of.. this is a character I have a huge crush on and he found our someone else on the team tried to rape me????? Omfg. Now, I had to go to that tree. I was playing a cat-and-mouse game avoiding our X for a day before he finally cornered me and made me come to the tree with him to talk about what had happened.

I wanted to die, y'all. This started a nearly 2-week long stint. Once our X found out that? I had to deal with him checking in with me DAILY for nearly 2 weeks. It got to the point where I went to school teachers to ask for advise on what to talk about with "X", no joke. I didn't know anything about the person role-playing as X, and when they were on, they were strictly IC as X. There was no talking to his player... I was talking to the character, about some pretty heavy stuff, weather I liked it or not. There was even one convo I remember.. Our X had found out my schedule pretty fast- and was in the habit of IMing me (this was on AOL back in like, 96, 97) as soon as I got online after school. He would often ask what I had for my after school snack. I responded once, eh, cheese filled ravioli.. something. "X" again, completely and utterly IC, responds with "That's sounds good! Just a sub tank for me today, I'm afraid..." Again, I never spoke to his player. His player stayed IC no matter what. This of course made me go "#^@%#%##!!!!!!" mentally but I digress..

I think the biggest lesson "X" taught me during all of that, was it's ok to ask for help. I'm not going to be able to handle everything on my own, and the biggest one, during that especially, was it's NOT ok for people to take advantage of me. You take into consideration I was only 16-17 at that time, and in an abusive household and living with my abusers, and having my childhood hero telling me this? This is why he's so freaking important to me. This challenge will be hard, but I will see it through. I owe him that much, in the very least.

[bobabitchgotyou]

GERMANY to the new me

i lived in germany for a few years met some people who i thought was great and they fucked my life up... i think they brought my true emotions out but... i dropped them and some other amazing people for it!!!  i am the type of person  who works on themselves to become better! i have been doing it for years and i think im finally there!!! i have kids and i was SOOO STRICT and SOOOO protective and made a goal for myself “when i move i will become better wife and mom” and let me tell you i have been working my ASS off!!! i can't wait for my hubby to come home and see the knew me. i was SO depressed i had and still have so much anxiety but sucked it up and eventually asked for meds (i balled when i did because i felt guilty i had to rely on meds to make me feel emotions again) i was and am in therapy but denied medst for 2 years witch i realized made me a bad mother even though other people would say i was great! i was hard on my babies, i just want them to be the best for themselves an now i have calmed down and have let them have more feeds maybe because they are older or because i am on the meds.... but it has been amazing to actually be happy to feel amazing!! i was also VERY NEGATIVE about my body even when my husband told me i was beautiful i used to look in the mirror and just ball!!!!!! and now i can look and just try and act how proud i am... i gave birth to these kids that's what that loose skin is from.. i tried to work and got rid of a bit fat/skin even when i honestly didn't weigh that much.... i just need to try and be positive and LET ME SAY IT IS NOT EASY!!! but you have to at least try... its defiantly a roller coaster full of ups and downs but when you have support or try to find support or even just find a site to vent (like this one) you can lift a little weight off of your shoulders. idgaf about spelling

[emelye]

White People Seasoning

I didn’t get it. All the chicken I’ve had made by black, white or brown hands all pretty much tasted fantastic. Or if not amazing, at least seasoned. The effort was made, okay?

I went to Raising Cain’s this past week. 

I get it now. 

White people, for those who might not yet know: Flour is not a seasoning. It’s not. It’s just not. You have to put something else in there. You HAVE to. ESPECIALLY if it’s white meat. Come ON.

And don’t try to sell me on Cain sauce. It’s hickory barbecue sauce and mayo. You’re embarrassing yourself.

For reference, here is my fried chicken recipe. So if you poor bastards didn’t know, now you know. Chicken (cut up, skin on. Fried chicken is not a health food, let’s not kid ourselves)

Flour

Lawry’s Seasoned Salt

Smoked Paprika

Pepper

Garlic Powder

Celery Salt

White Pepper

Couple eggs

Vegetable oil or shortening (or lard if you’re trying to die tomorrow. Hell, throw in a little goose grease or duck fat if you want to get fancy. IDGAF.)

Big ass skillet, cast iron preferred. Electric also works fine if you’ve got one.

Directions:

Soak the chicken in salt water for a couple hours to draw the blood out. Rinsing isn’t necessary, you’re just going to spray salmonella all over the fucking kitchen.

Drain it and pat it dry with paper towels. This step is important. 

Crack your eggs into a bowl. 

In another bowl, mix your flour and spices. 1 1/2 cups of flour is usually enough, but if you have a lot of chicken or you want to dredge it a couple times, you can expand that. Shake in a fuckton of Lawry’s. Grind in a fuckton of black pepper. Everything else is more or less to taste. Give it a whiff and decide how you want your chicken to taste. If you don’t have Lawry’s, add more paprika and some chili powder and cayenne to the mix. You can’t go wrong with a teaspoon or two of celery salt. Whisk it all together.

Take your chicken, dip it in the egg to coat, then dip it in the flour mixture until it’s coated. Do this piece by piece. 

Then do it again if you know what’s good for you.

Get about an inch of oil heating in your skillet. Don’t turn the heat up too high, you don’t want to burn the shit out of your chicken and leave it raw on the inside. Medium low is good. When smoke starts forming on the surface of the oil, use tongs to put your chicken in the pan, skin side down. Give it a good 10-15 minutes like that then turn it. Cover the pan and let it cook for a solid 45 mins. Don’t go in and poke it or turn it or fuck with it. Leave it alone. It’s fine.

Go make some side dishes. I recommend mashed potatoes and southern style green beans. Black-eyed peas are good, too. Also, look up a recipe for pan gravy if you’re into it. I can’t make gravy for shit, so you’re on your own.

Pull your chicken out after 45 minutes and let it drain on a plate covered in a few layers of paper towel.

Congratulations, you’ve made chicken that doesn’t suck. 

[sbcojn]

30 random facts about me for the sake of finding ourselves in the so called century of the self

...and because i am effectively trying to keep myself from studying for a statistics exam and from falling down a negative spiral of thoughts.

caution: if over sharing people annoy you do not read this, keep scrolling or log off. 

i have a long a*s first name, which sounds like math and let's everyone, who ever reads my name and who has not met me in person yet, think that i'm a dude. thx mom for adding a dutch variation to it as well and for wanting your kid to have an extravagant unisex name, which no one is able to pronounce correctly! :') 

my mom, my grandmas and my second oldest cousin are my idols and i talk about them all the time. i understand that it's creepy and annoying to my social environment but i can't help it and idgaf! i adore them, i want to be them and i love them soOoOo much! every single one of them is such a badass boss lady, who is not afraid of working hard, making sacrifices and never asking for anything in return. just by watching them handle life they taught me everything i need to know about it. i admire how they each are so comfortable with themselves that they don't ever feel the need to justify who they are and what they do. i am very blessed to have them in my life and to be related to them.

i lived in indonesia until i was 3-4ish. 

during an exchange program from hotel management school in switzerland my mom somehow fell in love with that country and moved here with me. 

here she met my stepdad, who for me is my real dad. he adopted me as soon as he met my mom and treated me as i was one of his own. i actually have most of my characteristic traits in common with my dad and that's why i hate when people remind me of the fact, that i am not blood related to him. just let me construct my own reality b*tches! i am thankful for everything he did for me and for all the sacrifices he made. in spite of being too young for that kind of responsibility he looked after his family with boldness and bravery. i love you more than everything and i am truly sorry for being such a hard a*s to you when i was little and when i was going through puberty lol! 

i have a little brother, who is 4 years younger than me. he is my true partner in crime and was ALWAYS on my side no matter what. i was so afraid when my parents told me that they are going to have another kid, because i thought that meant that they needed to get rid of me. but i was over the moon when he was born. he was such a cute fat a*s baby and i instantly felt the need to mother him when i was only four. lol sorry for treating you like a baby born bro! but i loved and still love you so much and i will always help you out like you did, no matter what happens! 

if you touch my family i will  D E L E T E  yours! 

when i was little i watched to many disney movies and sailor moon. i was  o b s e s s e d  once my dad caught me posing like sailor moon in front of the mirror and i wanted to die! another time he caught me singing disney songs on the balcony... and i didn't know how to speak english then. i only knew how to speak indonesian and german so i sang the songs in some kind of fantasy language, which to me sounded like english and tried to enact those dramatic singing scenes on the balcony or while looking out of my window.......

although i started my life as an extra af child i always acted shy in kindergarten and elementary school. through the entire time my teachers made it mandatory for me to visit an extra class for non-native speakers. for most of my childhood every teacher thought i could not properly speak german and i was too shy to tell them that i certainly could speak german. my parents were so confused because at home i would always order them around and as soon as i was in school i was even scared to breath too loudly. so fake though :') 

my chemical romance, nirvana, pearl jam, billy talent, radiohead, the flatliners, a day to remember, architects, new politics, jimmy eat world and paramore used to get me through every situation in puberty. i was kind of cocky and prided myself on my taste in music because i thought the music i listened to wAs So EmOtIonALLy dEep aNd No OnE mY aGe WouLD bE aBLe To ApPrEciAtE iTs dEpth. and to be honest, every time i listen to this kind of music now i am not able to appreciate it. it makes me sad and i am kind of emotionally stable now lol! kind of says a lot about the genius of this genre though but i can't do it anymore! listening to it takes my mind to places i don't want to go back to. thank you for your service but i am happy and became kind of an emotionally semi-stable mainstream b*tch, when it comes to music! k, thx, bye! lol

i have a scar on my forehead in between my eye brows. it was caused by playing hide and seek in the dark. me and my child hood friend thought this was a revolutionary idea and we got sooooo hyped. we ended up running into one another and her tooth finally got stuck in my forehead lol. 

i always did good at school but i don't remember how. i don't remember studying a lot. all i remember is how i couldn't focus on sh*t for longer than 5 minutes. this became a huge problem as soon as i entered middle school. from then on i always got in trouble with my teachers because they wanted to downgrade me but my parents never agreed to that. and they would always be angry at me for not doing enough for school but in fact i just didn't know how to effin' focus. i remember studying my butt off but still didn't know what i was doing exactly and somehow still managed to graduate grammar school after nearly dropping out twice and showing up for class for only like half of the time. since entering middle school i was an average to really really bad student, who got eaten from the inside by teenage angst and who had an attention span of a baby. after taking care of my ADD and growing up a little all i really want to do is study. but not math/statistics man. i still hate math though. i am one of the few asian people, who is bad at math. 

i love to consume pop culture in every format! in my opinion it is brilliant and entertaining. idgaf what everyone else thinks really. therefore...

i need to state that i am a huge supporter of kim k becoming a lawyer!!! yes, she is loaded but still the fact that she uses her platform and therefore her influence for a greater cause is more than admirable. as well as the fact that she has started to pursue a law degree after having four children, who are still small and managing a bunch of businesses at the same time. i mean studying law is hard af. just imagine being in your mid thirties, having to manage a dozen of businesses, keeping kanye west out of trouble, taking care of four small kids and studying law, while the world is publicly doubting you and hating on you for doing something more than great even. i mean i know people my age, who financially get supported by their parents, still live at home and have no other responsibilities other than their own education and they still can't do it. and i don't think it is something to be ashamed of because i know it is hard. but actually my whole point is that people love to hate on the kardashians and it gets boaaring. 

i actually think that ariana grande's music video to her song thank u next is a pop cultural masterpiece! 

i loved working at mcdonald's as a part-time job. i loved the people, who worked there. they were happy all the time and just cared about making enough money to look after their families. although mcdonald's literally stands for capitalism and commerce - there even is a term in political philosophy 'mcdonald's world' - and is one of the biggest corporations worldwide, i have never came across people, who are as precious as they are! they always looked out for one another and were all time ready to f*ck up everyone, who messed with their co-workers. i have never experienced a better working-environment since then. 

i am 25 years old and i still love playing sims. while i'm at it i love to watch dr. phil. recently i just spent my whole tip money on expansion packs. i am not even ashamed. but sometimes i have trouble adjusting to the real world after a gaming session. while walking around in the city i get inspired by buildings, which just make me wanna go home and build it. like what are friends, i don't need friends, i just want to build an imaginary fancy ass house. i also get upset about the fact that there is no cheat code in real life for deactivating your primary needs like sleep. i could have been a doctor and a piano prodigy by now man! or f*ckin' motherlode my bank account at least if you know what i'm sayinnnnn'. 

when i was little i dreamed of dying my hair blonde one day, getting fair skin, having blue eyes and a f*cking nose bridge. i hated my asian look. at some point i even got jealous of fellow asian people, whose skin was lighter than mine. then i went through a phase, when i kind of felt okay with how i looked but damned western beauty standards and mainstream media for making my five year old self and a lot of my other asian sisters feeling shitty about the way they looked. 

sex tourism was a huge part of why i struggled with my ethnic look as well. there were times, when i even felt slutty wearing skinny jeans. and i think this needs no further explanation. thank u next. 

i love the praisintheasian movements! and i adore the man, who in my eyes initiated that movement, mr. eddie huang! since fotb came out i stalked him on every platform! and while stalking (lol) i gradually began to understand how i can be okay with being asian and even celebrate being asian. i want to have coffee with this dude and i have so many questions to ask him and so many things i want to tell him! asdflkasjfd!!! but i am 500% sure that if i would ever meet him i would cry, vomit, laugh and then run away. or maybe i would act so creepy that he will put a restraining order on me. so writing down the possible outcomes of meeting eddie huang - maybe let's just not meet my idol then. 

when i'm retired, i'll own a bistro somewhere in indonesia with the best coffee, wine and my favorite food. and i'll give my best to use organic and regional food items and at the same time plan the menu after a zero-waste logic. every monday there will be book club. and every friday there will be local artists performing. i would recruit my staff properly and pay them a respectable wage. my bistro would be kind of a local meeting point. lol how realistic. let a gal dream! (the percentage of that happening is like non-existent. that's why i bought myself the sims 4 expansion pack 'dine out' lmfao)

one of my favorite books of all time is 'woyzeck' by georg büchner. just look it up! i am not worthy of describing this master piece. 

i will always chose hanging out wherever comfortable and chill over going out and partying. one of the main reasons is that most of the people there annoy me. in zurich the consumption of cocaine is insane and i find it annoying, unnecessary and petty. just go home if you're tired man. there is nothing attractive about a cocky ass person, who is high on cocaine! and maybe consider therapy if you need that kind of stuff to feel better about yourself. not really feel like wasting my time and money at those kind of venues. i am too boring for you anyways. srynotsry. 

something that has bothered me for a long time now.... to all those kind of feminists, who get offended by my perfectly winged eyeliner: you missed the point sis. bye 

i never understood how doing things that make yourself feel cute could be offensive to anyone or violate anyone's ideology. just don't look at me then ffs. thx muaaaachhhh. 

i am really bad at lending books from the library. i consider not doing that anymore until the day i'll become rich. from that day on i will hire an assistant, who will keep track of borrowed books. 

every time before my period starts i cry about dumb ass shit. and i am okay with it now. i am trying to keep in mind and actively remember that having my period could be the reason for this monthly emotional outbreak. but an individual still can forget the cause of the outbreak, which leads to a dramatic downward spiral every.single.time. howwwwww biiishhhh

i will not attend school/work/anything if i forget my headphones. i will turn around, go back home and get my fucking headphones. and at times, when the cash is flooooowiiiin' i'll just buy a new pair even they only pair available would cost me 40 bugs. but that is like the highest price i'd pay though lol. (7 lunch menus at my uni thoooo)

if you force me to read something in a car i will vom all over you! 

astrology kind of fascinates me and i am done being embarrassed about it lol.