#being stressed has never been my thing
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Gotta love when being stressed out makes you sick for half the day 😮💨😔 (said sarcastically and tired)
#being stressed has never been my thing#random mouse squeaks#spouse and I have come to the conclusion that me getting too stressed makes me physically sicks#this morning was rough
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Three quotes that remind me of Halbrand x Galadriel The Becoming of Noah Shaw; Michelle Hodkin // This Raging Sea; De Elizabeth // Lord of the Butterflies; Andrea Gibson //
#haladriel#sauron x galadriel#saurondriel#working with family today and it has got me so so so so so stressed#😡#why did i think it would be fun [have i never met my family before??]#my future husband needs to be the chillest human being alive because i cannot take another highly emotionally reactive person#screaming panic over a third-person chapter [that should have been first but is easily fixable] is really an exhausting thing to navigate#& of course i still think they will change despite the fact it's the same hysteria and shrieking meltdowns and screeching disquiet#[they won't change. need to stop pretending they will. need to stop agreeing to help them.]
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learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way
#experiencing some BIG FEELINGS OVER THIS REVELATION#listen i have never ever been bothered abt not seeing someone in a while or making time to talk to them bc in my mind its like not thst muc#time has passed. i mean it with every fibre of my being that when im like 'oh its ok even though we havent talked in a while and have our#own things going on it doesnt mean we're not friends anymore since we left things on a good note 8 months ago' i sincerely believe that#and for the longest time i just thought everybody makes peace with it at some point and not automatically assuming the other person doesnt#wanna talk to me anymore or smth. my longest lasting friendships are with ppl who work the same way i just thouhght that was normal#whatever organ everybody has that makes them reach out to their friends and plan hang outs i probably dont have it#i was already hesitant to ask out Alex bc i spend almost every waking hour doing smth that isnt talking to ppl unless they happen to be in#the vicinity. and at first it was bc i planned on making sure i had everything set up so i dont get stressed out and do it one at a time#but then i find out theres a friendship decay mechanic? and after dating and marrying someone you lose -10 friendship points for every#day u dont talk to them?? actually ive probably been losing friendship points this whole time without knowing bc of this?????#and i notice a lot of my own habits are also reflected in how i play bc ive been avoiding getting close to pierre and marnie since its more#of a professional relationship. like i know theyre npcs but im approaching it the way i would in real life its fucking nuts#i think its a little relieving im playing /as/ a character than myself bc as im playing im just making up little interactions in my head#than approaching things the way i would myself so it takes a bit of the stress off trying to put myself in there as a spectator. but well#being in a relationship demands a certain amount of energy even more so when theyre things that already take up energy on its own#like making time to talk to your partner and make sure they know theyre loved. i dont always have energy to put all my mental focus into it#and this is true for real life so im not really bothered by not dating anyone. but when its a game and i want my character to be with someo#and i know its fully optional and i know i could just apply the same logic to this i dont /want/ to. sometimes i want to experience#the same things other people do at least to a certain degree without the same emotional andmental stakes#no offense krobus#yapping#stardew#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#this game has me by the ankles man
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new gemini update was so good as always but I can't stop thinking:
big mama: there's nothing wrong with my sons
splinter: you fucked up two perfectly good kids is what you did. look at blue. he's got an eating disorder
wwhhhattttt? nooo, don't be silly. leo doesn't have an eating disorder.
leo and donnie have eating disorders--
#this is a Joke but also No It's Not#it's just different flavors lmao#but both of them have absolutely fucked relationships with food#my poor babies... :(... who did this to you...?#(it was me i did)#leo spends a lot of time worrying about whAT hes eating and how mUCH hes eating and if hes eating the rIGHT thing#largely due to his mom and also just being a celebrity/child celebrity in general#but also in part due to:#donnie has a lot of food sensitivities which have really never been accommodated for at all and as a result he just#has a very negative association with food and eating. he doesnt LIKE eating and he avoids it a majority of the time.#its stressful and unpleasant and he doesnt like it#which ofc only gave leo another reason to hyperfixate on food and calories and nutritional value etc etc etc#which leads to#ironically#leo (who def has an undiagnosed ed and restricts/denies himself food regularly): worrying abt making sure donnie eats enough#donnie will do the same thing back sometimes but not with the same obsessiveness that leo does#esp because the ideals surrounding eating and dieting set up around them really kind of just#lead them both to believe (at least to an extent) that leo is fine and eats a totally healthy and ok amount of food (esp in comparison to d#(no he doesnt)(and even when he does thats not the point)#tw eating disorders#cw eating disorders#eating disorders#tw disorders eating#cw disordered eating#disordered eating#gemini au asks#asks#anon
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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain
Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it
i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)
really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!
undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.
i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.
people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.
peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.
it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."
so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.
people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.
autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.
#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before#and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed#and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way#i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think#i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks
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Anyways
#they KNOW its been the hardest year ive had so far why cant they cut me some slack!!!!!!!#i have never cried so much in a year nor have i felt so much stress and they KNOW that so why!!!!!#also has your father ever said Well this is your problem. you dont know yourself at all.#SIR I HAVE BEEN WORKING HARD IN THIS AREA TOO I KNOW MYSELF BETTER THAN YOU KNOW ME ?????????#which would be clear judging by how lightly you said that because if you knew me you would know how i hate being treated like a little girl#who knows nothing????? and not my mother hearing someone call me mature for my age#and then LAUGHING nonstop and then saying: mature? who? you??#GIRLS I AM HAVING A ROUGH TIME LOL PLEASE IGNORE THIS#i miss my friends so very much!!!! and my parents are always like dont value your friends too much they always leave but youll always have#family. well maybe so but my friends would never say things like that to me#anyways i am going to BED
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tell me why i can hear another tenants fucking music from my flat. HE DOESNT EVEN LIVE IN MY BUILDING. HE LIVES IN A COMPLETELY SEPARATE BUILDING ON THE SECOND FLOOR AND I CAN HEAR HIS MUSIC FROM MY FLAT. MY FLAT WHICH IS IN A DIFFERENT SEPARATE BUILDING.
#and staff just say ‘oh we can’t do anything bc its not 11pm yet.’#ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS.#i am autistic person who has just spent a full 12hrs in extremely overstimulating public spaces#i am exhausted and i have had to wake up at ass o’clock in the fucking morning#every day for the past like week and a half and will be expected to do so for the forseeable future#i am extremely sensitive to noise and have no ability to zone things out#like everything is always at the same volume for me#all the fucking time no matter what#and they say like oh well in the community there wouldnt be anything to be done so we cant do anything here#BUT WE ARENT IN THE COMMUNITY. ARE WE. WE ARE AT A SUPPORTED LIVING ACCOMMODATION WHERE I HAVE BEEN PLACED#BY MY LOCAL AUTHORITY WHO ARE PAYING TWENTY THREE GRAND A YEAR#AND I AM PAYING FIVE HUNDRED A MONTH#IN ORDER TO RECIEVE SUPPORT FOR MY DISABILITIES. A BIG ONE BEING MY FUCKING AUTISM.#YOU KNOW. THE ONE WHICH IS BEING DIRECTLY IMPACTED BY THE BEHAVIOUR OF ANOTHER TENANT.#WHEN I AM BEING PUSHED TO MY LIMIT ALREADY. LIKE IDK FEELS KINDA CRAZY THAT THIS ISNT SOMETHING THAT CAN BE SORTED.#i fucking hate men there is just literally no fucking respect or consideration like its genuinely disgusting and so fucking infuriating#and like he says that staff (women. btw) are being too naggy about it. but never fucking stops to consider that maybe.#maybe people wouldnt have to ‘nag’ you about it IF YOU JUST. DIDNT DO THE THING THAT IS ACTIVELY CAUSING OTHER PEOPLE STRESS.#IDK FUCKING WILD IDEA JUST THOUGHT OF IT.#literally die i want everyone involved to die like I CANNOT DO THISSSSSSSSSSSS
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Thinking about Carter trying to help Percy go out and do things again as he slowly gets better so he tries to figure out stuff that Percy likes that's not just swimming. And Percy says he likes skateboarding so Carter get himself a skateboard and protective gear and gets ready to make an idiot of himself at a nearby skatepark and Percy's decent but he's so. Unengaged with it. They go out once and then never again. But when pressed Percy insists he does like skateboarding.
So Carter tries again. What else. What things did he do as a kid? What did he do when he had free time? What made him happy? And of course there's swimming but even with a pool right across from him, Percy doesn't really use it. At some point he admits he didn't swim as much as people might expect as a kid. For a long time, he needed an adult with him to have access to the public pools and his mom was busy and Gabe wasn't going to go with him. But he likes swimming. He does!
Contrary to popular belief, he was quiet kid. A homebody. He didn't have friends. He didn't have money. He didn't go out. He didn't do things. He had two video games for a GameCube console that he never got to use because Gabe hogged the TV. He had a box of cheap PC games no one ever heard of that were kinda fun but the computer took ten years to load and when Gabe came around, he hogged that too.
Outside the house, he sorted through trash for recycling to donate for coins. Hung out at the candy shop with his mom when he could. Bought a macrame set and made ornaments to sell to neighbors for the holidays. Picked up skateboarding because it looked cool, it was free, the board was cheap, and he needed a reason to not go home because Gabe was there.
He never really considered the question before. Maybe because, like now, he knew deep down asking himself "what do I like" would open up a can of worms he didn't want to sort through. He didn't need to know. He knew the reality. There was nothing good in that can. Just worms all the way down.
"Annabeth and I would go to museums," he says, flicking a piece of lint on the carpet.
Carter doesn't even look up from his computer. "Do you like going to museums?"
"Annabeth likes it," Percy says.
"But do you like it?"
Percy pauses. Then, "The tours are okay."
"So no." Carter clicks his tongue. His brows furrow. Percy wants to smooth it out. Make it go away. How can he make it go away? He put it there, he needs to make it go away.
He flicks the lint again. It tumbles once. "Sorry."
Carter's gaze flickers. "Why are you apologizing?"
"I don't know." Because I'm stupid and empty and a burden, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Without looking away from his laptop, Carter reaches out and pinches Percy's cheek. "You said you sold macrame a couple times. What about that? What if you picked it up again?"
Percy rolls his finger over the lint. It balls up. Fuzzy. Gray. Small. Flattens smooth and thin as he presses down. "Sure." Maybe he could make a tiny cactus for Grover. He moves his hand but the lint stays flat. Thin. Unable, unwilling to separate from the curls of the carpet. Pathetic. "Let's try it."
#you ever pause and realize percy doesn't seem to have any actual interests through the whole series#like he just does things but he does them because he has to or because he's asked to#i think about this a lot#percy jackson#carter kane#happy talks pjo#my writing#my fanfic#i feel like Percy wouldve been into comic books too as a kid but Gabe (and other kids) would've bullied the interest out of him#and comics can be expensive so he didnt really have anything popular#anyway carter also 100% called up grover to ask him what percy liked to do#and grover was v candid that percy is not enthusiastic about his solo interests and will simply do what the people he likes wants to do#grover has tried the hey percy what do you wanna do method. it never worked and pushing it only seemed to stress his bff out so he stopped#but carter is a little more stubborn and really loves problem solving#the key is also distinguishing between what do i genuinely like to do and what do i do to avoid boredom because those aren't always the sam#i think Percy does a lot of stuff to avoid being bored but it's not really things he enjoys doing for the fun of it#i think he'd like to cook and bake though. and garden but gardening can take a lot of time and patience. cooking gives quicker results
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Can I be mega autistic here and vent for a second and ask if anyone else is lowkey scared for whatever the next RE game is HSBWHDNDJ
#having hyperfixations/special interests combined with a PARALYSING fear of change SUUUUUCKSSS MAAAAANN. IT SUCKS ASS#like realistically I KNOW it’s silly and I KNOW I’ve got nothing to stress over BUT ITS STRESSING ME OUT BAD AND THERES NOTHING I CAN DO#RE4R/Luis has been SUCH a massive comfort of mine and turned into a full blown special interest and I guess the thing I’m most scared of is#the fandom moving on and forgetting abt re4r/luis as a whole which again I KNOW is silly but I can’t control my brain!!!!#and also combined with the fact that Luis probably isn’t coming back to the franchise at least anytime soon is HEARTBREAKING man. like thats#my special interest!! that’s the thing I’ve poured hours of my time into!!!!! I’m scared to see people move on#he’s already a fairly unpopular character in the wider fandom too!! and the fact that the content we do have of him is ALL we’re gonna have?#I dunno that makes me so much more stressed out and anxious than I should be which. again. I KNOOOOOOWW IS SILLY BUT I CANT HELP IT MAN#THE AUTISM!! THE AUTISMMMMM#I dunno I’m expecting Capcom to announce their next game this summer fest and it’s genuinely stressing me out sm which I hate#I hate being so afraid of change it sucks so much man#anyways sorry for the massive vent I just had to get this off my chest cuz it’s been weighing me down massively and making me more anxious#than it has any right to BCNDNENDJXJ#and again the fact that there’s a solid chance we may never see him again at lest not anytime soon is so so so so so devastating to me it#again makes me so much more upset than it has any right to HDNSHENDJDJ#not to mention people who are already weirdly mean and nasty to people who DO like him. I’m Not having a Time rn
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Demyx (my beloved)
#kingdom hearts#demyx#honestly is there an organization member i dont like? not really tbh#ok i lied maybe one but even then i find him fascinating so even he gets a pass#demyx being such a good boy who doesnt actually care for fighting then having the whole kh3 thing#where he has the yellow eyes but still just helps the good team vaguely then dips out of the entire game#where did he go and why .... what secrets do you hold young man#i should replay kh3 cause there are things i think i remember but idk for sure#like wasnt there actually a scene where hes just... been benched for being bad at being bad or smth#i really remember a scene where either he says or someone else is like oh yeah he got benched lol#like why does he have to be so funny yet get so little screen time im dying squirtle#though for the record him just handing a mannequin to even and saying peace out for the rest of the game WAS hilarious#this is me living the best time line where not only does demyx just dip and never get mentioned from anyone#but also in an otome i played theres a route where my fave guy just also dips early on#and then in the very end some other LI asks another LI what happened to him btw like where did he go#and the another LI was like oh my god i forgot about him idk man#my favorites just making an appearance and leaving is really funny to me#these tags got super long bc im very stressed and now devoting brain power to vgs in order to not cry
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Be so fucking for real my firesetter plushies got here and like an hour after they arrived i went to the mail room to grab them and they grew legs and WALKED AWAY because that package was NOWHERE to be seen . I turned the whole room upside down and asked the staff and no one knows where it is.
I think some lady grabbed it thinking it was hers bc i guess were just gonna grab packages without actually making sure the information is accurate. Ok
Hopefully they track her down and figure this out cuz thats so annoying . I spent 70 bucks and waited for months and i SWEAR i knew something was gonna go wrong the whole time and it DID . The worst part is theyre limited edition so i cant just buy them again and ill never be able to get them . All because the package evaporated ig.
Now i get mad every time i see the plushies i swear why is my luck with packages and merch so bad lately .
#i just wanted to COMPLAIN!#plus i got scammed right after i bought these plushies bc i got some text abt packaging being damaged#and they got my credit card info or whatever bc i was dumb.#and i lost a ton of money to it . that was stupid on my part#but now thats even more infurating bc if i never recover these plushies that means it was for absolutely NOTHING#it was already for nothing but even more so now.#i doubt anyone intentionally stole it bc what business does anyone have taking those#u cant even tell what it is from the package alone#buying these plushies has just been one of the most annoying things ive bought .#its no ones fault rlly . its just been stressful the WHOLE time#and i cant even say ‘oh i was just panicking irrationally’ cuz something bad DID ACTUALLY HAPPEN#I KNEW SMTH WOULD GO WRONG THE WHOLE TIMEEE#i wont even tag this properly
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Considering the. Ahem. Ways this year has gone, I've not been thinking about it all that much, but. I did start this year with the motto of Year Of Unfucking My Life. With a few goals involved in that.
I got an official adhd diagnosis, as well as a diagnosis for PCOS. Other diagnoses in progress. Gotten adhd meds and birth control to regulate periods. I've gone back to school and I'm keeping up with it better than ever before. I've even been working on practicing driving, something I've been largely neglecting since I first got my driving permit, um... 11 years ago...
I just need to actually Get my license. And I need to get it before the end of the year. If I can accomplish that, then I'll say the Year Of Unfucking My Life was successful.
#speculation nation#i had some pretty major negative And positive influences for this goal of mine.#primary negative influence of course being my dad abruptly dying.#but that also led to the primary positive influence of the life insurance payout that's letting me just focus on school for my final year.#it's like a monkey's paw curl kind of moment. i got a genuinely astounding amount of money#more than enough to live off for a year+ and pay off the rest of my schooling.#with this i have finally exited the purgatory of part time school full time work to pay my way through school#a setup that led to endless stress (both physically and mentally) and suffering grades.#failing some classes and taking longer bc part time Anyways. locking me into years and years of this perpetual fucking Hell.#ive escaped it. school is so so so much more manageable when i dont have to work a job. im actually keeping up with my assignments.#for once theres no uncertainty about passing any of my classes. i Will pass them all. and i expect As in most if not all of them.#it's been fucking Amazing. everything i couldve wanted. and it came with the low low cost of losing my father when i was only 26.#... 'low' being sarcastic here of course. he was the 2nd worst person i couldve lost in my life. second only to my sister.#the 2nd worst grief i will Ever experience. bc he was my Good parent. hes the very reason i have a future at All.#and losing him fucked me up Severely. im still working on recovering. i kind of figure i always Will be.#thank god id already been taking spring semester off bc that would've been Horrible to go thru while in school.#i honestly probably would've just withdrawn from the semester. theres no Way id have kept up with it#given how damned BUSY those first few weeks after were. between funeral prep and inventorying and packing up his house.#so fucking much involved in settling an estate. and im the lucky one in that my sister's been handling all the legal shit.#so i simultaneously was dealt one of the most severe blows i ever Will be dealt#while also being given probably the biggest boost i'll ever get in my life.#if everything goes well with graduating and getting an IT job then i'll never want for money again.#considering there was a time early last year when i got as low as literally $7 in my bank account. this is a pretty big deal.#it's just... strange. the ways things go in life. this has been a very strange year for me.#just doing my best to use this boost to the best of my ability. even if it feels like im taking advantage of his death.#it's what he wouldve wanted me to do.
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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this is your reminder that 99.9% of employers care more about money than you and even if they are kind and fair now they WILL at the end of the day put profits over your well being so absolutely do not sacrifice your life for them.
#and by life i mean time really#do your job to its exact description#do not make things too difficult for your fellow workers#you can even work hard if you want to#but do not undervalue your time or your mental and physical well being#this is a mistake i made in my first job#the stress of that job triggered my (undiagnosed) crohns so bad i was hospitalized twice#and my boss asked me to work from my hospital bed#while also not giving me sick time and not paying me well#in my previous post that coworker has been working there at least 15 years#never caused any problems went above and beyond#was a fucking backbone of the company#and is getting tossed out bc management is fucking moronic#they’ll be fine they’re so great they’ll get a much better job i’m certain#and previous management loved them SO much and did try to take really good care of them to keep them from leaving#but in the end stupid financial decisions will always come before employee we’ll begin#being#so never give too much of yourself to a job and always keep your resume updates#also don’t be afraid to leave nasty reviews on yelp or glassdoor and also maybe key your boss’ car
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i don't really know how to word this but like i feel like i'm gonna forever have to deal with the pain and heartache of one of my very first pokémon games- the first 'normal' pokémon game i've ever played, that i will have lasting nostalgia and love for as a result of it being formative to my introduction into the series- being the one that will forever be looked down upon for bad graphics and technical issues as a result of the game having been rushed
like i honest to goodness want to scream and yell and cry into the void about how this means everything to me and will always be one of my fave games just in general. but how am i gonna do that without someone being like 'the broken overpriced mess? the one that's missing all this stuff from the older games that was great? the thing with all the cringe? that one?' or whatever. and the thing is they aren't wrong for their criticisms either like i know the fact that they rushed this wonderful game hardcore is a massive stain on its reputation and it hurts me too but like i cannot turn off the brain full of love in me and be a mean critic. or even an impartial one. i mean i criticize everything i love don't get me wrong i am constantly running my mouth about what i like and don't like. but at the end of the day i approach all media with an unusually optimistic mindset. if you see me talk a ton about something no matter what i'm saying you can bet it means i love it.
just. aaagh. it's always tough being a new fan of an old series. i'm like too embarrassed to express my opinions bc i feel like they're invalid y'know? i feel so exhausted every time i see something to the effect of like 'oh those poor kids these days having to deal with such bad quality everything what a bad time to be a fan of pokémon wow y'all make me feel so old' well see the thing is i actually am thriving and i love it here. and i'm also an adult myself so i have more critical thinking skills than people who played red when they were like five years old did. and even with the power of critical thinking i manage to be in love with this. join me in marvelling at the beauty of life
#sorry for the massive rant i am full of both love and rage but i feel alone in this world about this particular subject#my other fav complaint is like 'they make it too easy to xyz these days'#to me that reads like 'i suffered so why shouldn't they'#yes we should encourage people to spend 100 hours grinding to do basic story requirements.#to weed out the true gamers from the weaklings. or maybe we could use the spare time in our lives to touch grass#the only easy-fication change in sv i don't like is the ability to access boxes right from the menu#that kinda cheapens the need to strategically organize a team before heading somewhere#i can.. sorta understand being miffed about the remember moves mechanic?#frankly platinum was so stressful with not being able to freely switch without great hassle/cost#it would have been a fair enough compromise to make you pay a bit of lp or something#or do it for free but having to go to like a pokécenter or something#i'll never agree that exp share is bad though sorry#pokémon#ok but about the 'i feel bad for kids these days with these ugly designs/lame 3D models' thing#yeah i have news for you every gen has its ugly/stupid pokémon.#dude look at exeggcute#and some of the oldest spritework is hideous#granted the ds era spritework was beautiful#but i don't see what is so bad about the 3D models of today? they're both nice...#dude play an indie game or something if it's that important to you idk#it will never be the 90s again. it will never be the 00s again. i'm sorry.
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carlos having a hot smart rival partner who challenges him and makes him question his abilities and skills in a time where he's already grieving and still trying to find his place in terms of everything and it makes him even more STRESSED!!!!!! yeah SIGN ME UPPPPPPPP!!!!!!
#and LOOK we're definitely not getting a cheating storyline here because carlos could NEVER#and they already cleared things up in the article#but jealous tk?????#JEALOUS TEEKAYYYYY!!!!!#A SEMI PARALLEL TO CARLOS' POV DURING THE COOPER STORYLINE#JUST A HINT of tk getting territorial and kinda jealous when he sees Sam on a call with carlos!! — a strong handsome capable 'partner'#like i don't want it to even elicit insecurities in tk but just the good old ❤️🔥 JEALOUSY ❤️🔥 of love!!#I'D BE SOOOOO HERE FOR THAT!!! jealous tk is a dream storyline even if it just him being protective of carlos#like carlos has been getting really stressed since sam got in the picture and he rants about it to TK kinda like when TK#was telling him about nancy and being one of the cool kids#and tk is just 'my husband's enemy is my enemy too' but he's ultimately understanding oh how carlos feels and#he gives him the reassurance and support he needs in order to overcome this stage between him and sam..#s5 speculation#jealous tk#yes that's a tag!
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