#behavioral disorders

[colombinna]

Confession time for people with PDs, EDs, and all of the scary disorders. Don't be an ableist weirdo, some people's struggles just don't look nice.

Anybody else incapable of looking at what other people make without immediately categorizing it on - better [in quality] than [what] you [make] / - lesser [in quality] than you [make] (and very rarely: - [of] similar [quality] to [what] you [make]) and feeling stuff accordingly? I love when seeing other people's stuff makes me feel inspired to do my stuff as well, but I find that only happens when the person's reality is too different from my own (specifically: they're much older than me), otherwise i WILL feel like shit for seeing someone my age or under doing better than me and I WILL feel superior/arrogant (ooh scary nasty feeling I know! Blame my brain tho!) If I'm doing something better than other people near my age or older than me. Knowing that there are people doing "worse"/"lesser" than me actually helps soothe myself when I go into a spiral about other people being better than me. I kinda hate that (except when I hate the person themselves, for being a bigot or annoying or whatnot, yeah ofc I'm better than you at [thing], you're a loser little bitch!) I wish I could be the kind, sweet, all loving person I've always wanted to appear to people, but I'm too angry for that and I'm finally beginning to accept that and adjust the ways I fight for a better world to how I am. I may never be the super sugary sweet teacher/colleague that's all fluflly and lovable, but I'll never stop fighting and organizing to make injustices stop.

Since I'm always the one who has to fix problems, I'll see them through and I'll see that it's all done right.

[exerpts-from-the-teenage-mind]

When I worked with children who had behavioral issues what really got me was how fucking angry they all were. And they had so much to be angry about! And like okay, I was only in there for a day and I came in at a point where the everyday routine was already established. The kids already had their little habits and the adults already had their regular predictable reactions.

All I really did was listen to the kids talk. I wasn't really needed and no one gave me any tasks to do or engaged me in much conversation. The kids barely seemed to notice my presence. Only one even asked me who I was.

The two things that stood out to me the most was one kid telling the story about how his dad didn't let him go to a party because he was sent to swim camp. The thing he found truly an injustice is that the reason he wouldn't swim is because his father traumatized him by throwing him into the ocean when he was younger and he almost drowned.

The other thing was that his friend had a coin collection and all he wanted to really do was talk about coins. A smarter teaching assistant tried to engage him in math by using coins as the subject. He asked all the teachers, including me, if any of us had a specific coin (we did not).

I couldn't do anything for the first kid except wince in sympathy and fervently agree when a teacher said that sounded horrible. I wondered if his behavioral issues were because his dad was an abusive assfuck. I wondered if all the teachers were aware but couldn't do much about it because the job they were tasked with was to educate him and help him control his behaviors, not tell him that his behaviors are completely understandable and that he doesn't deserve to be treated like that.

The other kid, I brought him coins two days later. I had a Canadian penny and a ten arugot lying on my dresser that I'd never known what to do with. I tried to give it to one of the teaching assistants to give to him before classes started and she asked if she could wait until he got there so that she could take him on a trip down the hall to the classroom I was working in that day and I could give them to him myself. When I held them out to him he was fucking overjoyed. He asked if I was sure and I said of course. I don't collect coins, but you do. He asked if he could hug me and of course I said yes. I was struck by how this kid, known for yelling and anger and misbehaving asked me if it was okay before he touched me. I almost cried at how happy and grateful he was, when it was nothing to me at all.

Thankfully it happened to be a really good classroom. The teachers were pretty effective and good at diffusing tense situations. I watched the lead teacher communicate with a kid who'd gone nonverbal with rage with a dry erase board and marker until he felt better. And of course, they knew how fucking kind these kids could be and let me see it too.

[several---times]

the desire to catch all pokemons has just been added to the DSM-7

[agloriousbehavioralhealth]

People develop mental and behavioral disorders due to various reasons. And many of them would refuse to seek psychological services in USA because of fear of judgment due to stigma and the lack of knowledge of people around them about their condition. Most of them are confused about which of these problems they have either.

[rainywhispersblog]

[simplygoingmadd]

blasting my silly little music and creating my silly little daydreams so i don’t lose my silly little mind

[voidmamma]

Hits so hard

[doomedmanic]

the worst kind of anxiety is when u don't know what u are anxious about, yet you feel like something is about to go horribly wrong

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

you ever just hope you die in your sleep so you won’t have to kill yourself ?

edit: i censored the words at first because my previous account got banned and i didn’t want that to happen again but thanks for letting me know i can write it normally

[another-0ddity]

I hate being self-aware with no self-control.

[svramblrdegg]

The feeling of fasting getting easier >>>

[hamoodmood]

Just relapsed after 6 months

[zoobus]

Drafted a couple posts because I'm not sure how to say this. Young people are inexperienced and frequently obnoxious. This has always been true. Cultural shifts and new technology only mean they will be inexperienced and obnoxious in different, more visible ways. You aren't beating the grumpy old hater allegations by cloaking your kids-these-days bitching in tiktok scapegoating and alleged youth tech illiteracy.

You have forgotten all the embarrassing ways you were inconsiderate at 18. You might still be your old manager's go-to anecdote for crazy oblivious interns. All the forums you posted on begging for answers instead of reading the fucking sticky or googling it are lost to time. But nah this generation is uniquely stupid and rude, for real this time.

[reveregret]

sorry for trying to kill myself when you talked to someone else, do you still think i'm cute?

[lostmf]

[burned0utstar]

It hurts.

It hurts so much.

I need someone, anyone, to love me.

Being unlovable hurts.

It's the pain of knowing that noone can ever love me the way I love them.

To love the way I do is to burn and scratch open my skin just to try and show you a part of me.

It's to always wait for something.