#because the job is basically just to Sit There

[fromthestacks]

I’ve been sitting with this for a couple days because I want to respond (hopefully) thoughtfully. And on the one hand, it’s a really good point and I can see how all the “I hate men” stuff could wear on the guys who AREN’T, you know, raging assholes. But on the other hand, my forty years of lived experience is pushing back on that. Long-winded rant under the cut.

I have a fair amount of men in my life by choice- family, friends, boyfriend. The ones I choose to spend time with are, by and large, really good guys. They’ve also heard more than their fair share of my own “I hate men” rants, and to their credit they’ve never been upset about it. They know I don’t mean them because my words and actions back it up, and they understand where I’m coming from because they hear the stories accompanying said rants and generally agree with my assessment.

All this to say, as much as I sympathize with the good guys who have to listen to the “I hate men” rants, I also very much don’t, because they have arguably more power to help shift that narrative than I do. The shitty men of the world do not care that people think they’re shitty, they are not changed by reason or logic. Men who, for example, sexually harass women don’t (generally) hear the many, many stories from women’s perspectives and have a lightbulb moment where they realize how wrong they’ve been. They will likely never be Ebenezer Scrooge throwing open the windows to wish the town poors a merry Christmas. But maybe, just maybe, if enough of the good guys start speaking up to call them on their behavior, that might have even a small effect on them.

“It shouldn’t be our responsibility” well no shit, grown adults shouldn’t need to be spoon fed basic human decency, but here we are. Women telling men how much we hate being catcalled doesn’t seem to be fucking working, so if the good guys aren’t willing to try telling them, then I’m out of ideas that aren’t along the lines of Goodbye Earl.

One last thing, this is getting away from me. I work a public service job, and it involves a fair amount of face time with people needing help finding things and using stuff like printers. I’m always polite and reasonably friendly, but it’s never anything beyond professionally kind. Even at that, it’s more than half of my interactions with men that leave me feeling uncomfortable. I’ve had men try to take my hand, I’ve had men ask if I’m single thirty seconds into me walking to their computer to help, I’ve had men stand right behind my chair while I’m looking something up. “Why don’t you just say something to them?” Because I’m not trying to get assaulted or shouted at, I’m trying to make it to the end of my shift and go home. It’s extremely well documented that a lot of men don’t handle rejection well, which ends with a lot of women getting assaulted or worse. And the thing about THAT is, you never know which men are gonna be the ones to lose their cool. So you just hedge your bets and tread carefully with everyone in case.

SO. What this very long-winded rant is saying, is that a lot of women encounter a lot of shitty men, and it sucks absolute donkey dick to deal with. If the good guys out there want to stop hearing about how terrible men are, they need to step the fuck up and help, because women are exhausted. The other, smaller, part that they might not like is that it’s not our job to constantly reassure them that I don’t include them when I say “I hate men”. If I’m spending time with you, and trusting you with these stories or complaining or whatever, then go ahead and take it on faith that I don’t mean you.

Maybe I’m alone in feeling this way, I don’t know. Just needed to get this out there.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[pinkslipxox]

Hey! I have a request. But please ignore this if you want to, I did see your last post saying how you have alot of requests at the moment! So please don't ever feel like you need to write this okay? Just something basic, pregnant reader is really struggling to fall asleep because baby girl won't stop kicking her mama. Billie wakes up and just rubs her belly and gives us reassurance. She even tries to make us laugh by having a "talk" with the baby telling her to stop hurting her mama or mommy's not gonna be happy. We find it hilarious. We end up falling asleep to billie spooning up and rubbing out stomach and gently rubbing the top of our head because she knows that helps us fall asleep.

- but thank you so so much for taking the time to read this. Once again, please don't write this if you don't want to! I love ya 🫶🏻

Hey there my love! Hope you like it! Thank you so much for your kindness and understanding 🥰

————————————————-——————————

A soft whimper escapes your lips as you feel your unborn daughter move about inside your womb. You’ve been trying so hard to fall asleep, but to no avail. Of course, it is always a joy and relief to you whenever you feel your baby kick, but it seems that she’s picked the worst part of the day— well, night in the case— to be active.

You carefully sit yourself up straighter, breathing slowly in and out just as your doctor had suggested a few days ago, praying that you don’t wake up your sleeping wife. Despite knowing that Billie wouldn’t mind if you woke her up, you feel bad at the thought of doing so. She’s been working so hard when it comes to balancing work and taking care of you, and you know that she needs her rest as much as you do.

“Please let Mama sleep,” you murmur softly as you run your belly in attempt to calm your daughter. Just then, you feel a hand touch your shoulder. Your wife has woken up.

“Y/N? Is everything alright?” Billie asks, her voice groggy yet full of concern.

“She won’t stop kicking, Billie,” you whimper, wincing as you feel another strong kick. “And it hurts. All I want to do is sleep.”

“How can I help, my love?” Billie offers as she gently rubs your swollen belly.

“Can you please get another pillow for my back?” you request and Billie nods.

“Yes, of course,” she replies and kisses your forehead before hurrying off to find the pillow. She comes back a moment later and helps you lean forward so that she can put the pillow behind your back.

“Thank you, my love,” you sigh, reveling in the small amount of relief.

“You’re welcome.” Billie rubs your baby bump, her ocean blue eyes looking into yours with such tenderness and love. “I know it’s hard, sweetheart. You’re doing such an amazing job. Soon we’ll have our little girl, and she’s going to be just as beautiful as you.”

“Oh, Billie,” you murmur, tears swelling in your eyes. “You’re the sweetest.”

“Only for my girls,” Billie chuckles softly before pressing a kiss to your belly. “Damn, she’s having a party in there!”

“Of course— she’s your daughter, after all,” you tease with a smirk and Billie sticks her tongue out playfully at you.

“Hmm, I wonder…” Billie muses with a playful gleam in her eyes. She then makes a fist with her hand and taps on the imaginary microphone in her hand. “Hello? Is this thing on? Can you hear Mommy, baby girl?”

You can’t help but stifle a laugh. Then, at the feel of your daughter kicking her again, you tell her, “She can hear you loud and clear, Bills.”

“Now, baby girl,” Billie begins in a mock-stern voice. “Listen to Mommy. I know how much you think it’s fun to kick your mama like she’s a soccer ball but she needs her rest. And if you don’t stop kicking her by the time I count to three…”

“Billie, oh my God,” you laugh out loud, shaking your head fondly at your wife.

“One… two… three,” Billie counts and the two f you hold your breath.

“I think… it worked,” you breathe in awe and Billie smirks.

“Guess we know who’s her favorite mother,” your wife teases and you gasp, feigning hurt.

“After all I do for you…” you tisk, running your belly. You then smile at Billie. “Thank you for helping, my love. And I’m sorry that I woke you.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Y/N. We’re in this together,” Billie reassures you and brings your hand up to her lips, kissing it.

“Cuddle us?” you request with a pout and Billie nods with a smile.

Billie helps you lay back down on the bed and once you are comfortable, she cuddles up from behind you, your back pressed against her chest. She wraps her arm under your bump, her thumb gently caressing there, and kisses your temple. You slowly begin to relax under her touch, her fingers gently massaging your scalp just the way you like it.

“Good night, my baby girls,” Billie murmurs softly, and your heart swells.

“Good night, Billie,” you hum as you close your eyes, grateful to have your wife right by your side, no matter what time of day or night.

[nevertheless-moving]

Considering the amount of emotional and moral nuance he managed to muster up immediately post Guanyin temple (despite having a terrible week and zero good role models) AND considering his front row seat to the dissection of Jiang Wanyin and Wei Wuxian’s downfall, I think that in a time travel fix-it, Jin Ling would actually be pretty successful at brute forcing yunmeng family therapy.

I mean he'd probably cry, but even that would be good! Because 1) modeling negative male emotions beside anger, and 2) Oh shit that’s shije’s kid we made Shije’s son cry, fuck, fuck! Bam! Instant high ground! Also he has the most authority of any second gen character by virtue of the fact that he could pull “DO YOU WANT MY MOM TO DIE??? BECAUSE YOU TWO ACTING LIKE MORONS IS WHAT GOT MY MOM KILLED! NOW SIT DOWN AND SPIT OUT ALL YOUR FUCKING SECRETS OR MY MOM WILL DIE AND I’LL BREAK YOUR LEGS!!” It would work! Tell me it wouldn't work!

Not to mention once he gets a few sect leader years under his belt, he might be the best person to manage a fix-it, in general. He's got perspective. He's got political training. Others might get too caught up on the specifics of the Wen remnants or the Ying Tiger Tally or Vengeance against One Person or Another — Jin Ling is critiquing the basic structure of how Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng are living their lives and he's getting away with it.

He would even be good at dealing with Jin Guangyao, the slipperiest motherfucker in the timeline. Jin Ling's got as good a handle as anyone on his motivations, and he has sincere (if messy) affection for him, which would hit Guangyao right in his weak spot. Depending on your headcanons it may or may not be in vain, but he's got a real chance of getting the man to set some more modest and less destructive life goals.

Similarly, I think he'd do a pretty decent job at a harsh-but-fair critique of Xichen's neutrality and Mingue's rigidity and Huissang's delibrate uselessness, though getting them to listen would be more of a crapshoot.

All of this makes it especially funny how badly he would handle Wangxian.

For context: Wei Ying and Hunguang-jun are not just the gayest people Jin Ling has ever met, they are the gayest people he's ever HEARD of.

He wouldn't want to bring it up. He wouldn't mean to. He doesn't want to talk about it. But when he inevitably calls Wei Ying a slur only to be met with genuine bafflement? Jin Ling would completely lose his shit.

Because I don't think Wei Ying is going to get offended, or defensive, or have a response that his nephew could coherently mock. Wei Wuxian thinks 'hey these time traveling guys are actually pretty funny!' Him and Whom? Not even a serious topic of contention. You got me for a second, haha.

Jin Ling would break. Wei Ying eventually says something the effect of "I'm straight? Obviously?" and Jin Ling would nod once, start screaming, then climb across the table to strangle him.

It's — look. How do you fucking explain that all of the worst moments of your life were, in someway or another, characterized by Wei Wuxian and Lan Wanjii being FLAMBOYANTLY into one another.

The man who saved his life also killed his father and Jin Ling stabs him but it feels awful and — ok Lan Wanjii is cradling Wei Wuxian tenderly. Ok they're just going to go. They're leaving like that. Hunguang Jun was — is — was the Yiling Patriarch's widow, so that's another layer to add onto everything else. Hunguang-Jun is visibly expressing emotions with his face and voice and Jin Ling is going to go throw up now

Jin Ling's kidnapped at the burial mounds and everyone’s lost their spiritual energy and all his friends and family are going to die and — those two are smiling at eachother. They're telling inside jokes. They're holding hands.

Jin disciples (his own clans disciples) just shot at him and and Xiao-shushu really is what people sa— WEI YING SHOUTS ABOUT WANTING TO FUCK LAN WANJII

THEY ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF BEING KIDNAPPED AND HE DOES THIS

Jujiu is bleeding from the stomach and crying he's bleeding and crying his jujiu is doing that and Xiao-shushu caused it and his whole life is a lie and Hunguang Jun and the Yiling Patriarch are visibly groping in a corner.

And then they never stop groping again. Forever.

So yeah, I'm quite confident that if Jin Ling had to be even peripherally involved with coaching Wei Wuxian through a bisexual awakening and homoerotic courtship, he would explode. He would black out with rage. He'd make an honest and embarrassingly unsuccessful attempt at killing Lan Zhan. He would walk into a lotus pond and stay there until he drowned. He'd start heavy drinking. He'd punch a random passerby in the dick.

In conclusion, Need More Jin Ling Time Travel Fics

[thewistlingbadger]

This mischaracterization of silco in season two so far is really interesting.

Jinx calls silco a "big baby" because he "couldn't do the medicine himself." This isn't true though. Silco had been doing it himself LONG before she came along and whenever he did it, there was no pain but everytime she did it, there was pain. The only reason he let her do it is because he wanted her to feel important and he wanted to include her in his world.

Sevika says that she was basically doing everything for silco and claims that he couldn't do anything himself. He always needed help, that she was the one who always had to clean up after him. This was just a really weird claim for her to make because that was literally her job. She knew what she signed up for. He literally PAID her to do his bidding. Like, what was she expecting? Silco is the top dog and sevika is his second in command. Of course she's going to have to handle the minor stuff because he's working on the big stuff! It's not like he was sitting on his ass the whole time doing nothing. He was extremely capable and he was essentially doing everything, INCLUDING before sevika was in the picture.

Smeech claims silco took the undercity with his bare teeth, which couldn't be more farther than the truth. Silco spent years plotting and he was only to take silco when the most opportune moment presented itself.

[gamblersdoll]

Thoughts on okarun possessive fucking? Like someone eyes you up and he just cant have that!!! Ahhh imagine him totally going turbo and dragging you someone private ❤️

aged up! turbo! okarun and possessive sex

he doesn’t necessarily get the whole possession thing in relationships.

its like, why do that when you already have someone, you know? you should be able to trust your partner, knowing that they wouldnt do that to you.. its just morale and respect. he honestly just didnt get it, he would feel bad if he just yanked you from everything and everyone and growled a ‘your mine.’

but, that all goes away when you basically talk to some dude in the final year with you guys, knowing he’s popular and.. basically sluts himself out. he didnt understand why women liked him, he was obviously a walking red flag! and the fact that he’s talking to you.. it starts a rage within him, no, not that. more of like a selfishness to him. it just happens, turbo granny’s powers kicking on and him just walking away from it. not like anyone can see his whole appearance becoming demonic.

that all went out the damn window by time you both went home, he locks all the doors, and drug you upstairs just to hog tie you. it was a sloppy job, how the fuck people were able to perfect shibari was beyond him.

“okar—“

nope, he puts his hand over your mouth, grabbing your hips and pushing himself deeper, deeper, deeper until he knew he was in your stomach. (hypothetical, men cannot get that deep.. but shit, it feels like it.) “do ya think he couldve gotten like this with you?” yeah, he was livid.. him pulling out damn near the tip and he slams back in. your whines go into his palm, soon after moving it and tilting your head up to look at him. “do you think he could have you bent over and fucked?”

you struggle to say the words he wants to hear, but he can understand what youre trying to say. “no.. i pr—omise..”

“you know why that is?” he asks, tossing his glasses to the side and getting into your ear. “because this pussy is mine, yeah?” he knows the answer, the amount of times he could sit next to you and slip a finger inside just reeaallyy quick. “you, are fuckin mine. not that loser.”

you nod, your eyes screwing shut and face curling up because god, were you so close. it all comes to a halt, your demonic boyfriend stopping and just looking expecting to you. “please.. please dont do this now, im so close baby—“

“are you mine only, or are you two timin’ me?” he asks, hearing your promise of belonging only to him. of course hes satisfied, but hes also a annoying shit. “huh? cant hear ya fer som reason..” he mumbles, putting all his body weight into his thrusts until your squeals of orgasm buzz in his ears. “huh, can hear you now.. must be goin’ deaf or somethin, man.”

[ceasarslegion]

Please tell me about the guy in your college dorm who got scurvy, I love a good modern day scurvy story. Like bro, have a delightful lemon-parm chicken

So in uni I lived in a co-ed dorm building where we had single-person rooms and shared a common room, washrooms/showers, laundry, and a kitchen. We also had a dining hall that we could purchase meal plans from (which i also had all 4 years, because i juggled full time school and 2 jobs at the same time. I did NOT have the time to cook for myself and I would not have done so in that kitchen to be frank). The building was split up into a bunch of different houses which we took personality quizzes to get assigned to in order to limit the amount of conflicts that would happen in this living situation. I was put in the smallest house (there were only 20 of us) and it was full of real chill like-minded people who liked to watch movies with me. This guy was the next door away from me, but wasn't my immediate next door neighbour because the stairwell broke up our house down the middle.

He was the house shut-in. He didn't really join any of the hang outs in the common room, or go out clubbing with us, he just kinda shut himself in his dorm room and never came out. Eventually we stopped slipping invitations to things under his door like we did with everyone else because there was no point. But I saw him in the dining hall and I saw him swiping a meal card a few times so I knew he was on the meal plan, meaning i KNEW he had access to fruit and veggies and even just like, juice. The food wasn't good but you had all the opportunities in the world to make it good FOR you, if that makes sense.

One of my jobs at this point was as an overnight security guard for an apartment building. I would come back around 4am and then crash out until 11 or 12 and then go to my afternoon and night classes. This is relevant because I was coming back into the building after a shift once in full uniform while he was sitting on the front steps and looking like he was hungover to the point of near-unconsciousness. I ask if he's feeling okay, if he needs anything, he waves me off and says he just needs some air. I'm like okay well, you know which doors mine if you change your mind bud.

He was an enigma who never spoke to us so I waved the situation off as too much college partying or something.

Over the next few days this becomes a common sight among everyone, who says they would also come back from their part time jobs or outings to him nearly passed out on a courtyard bench or something, a few people said they heard someone throwing up in our floor's shared bathroom.

About a week later I come back from my shift as usual and crash in bed until noon, expecting to wake up and go to my classes as usual. I grab my school bag and throw my regular coat and boots on and walk to class. I liked to sit in the back of that lecture hall because that prof had a rule that you were allowed to eat in his class as long as you sat in the last 3 rows, so I'd bring my breakfast and coffee in one of the dining hall to go boxes. I did not end up eating my breakfast or drinking my coffee.

In fact I did not make any notes on my laptop.

In fact, the house discord server blew up while I was asleep.

This guy, this fucking guy, had gone to our don (RA, basically) and told her he needed to go to the ER and then passed out on her couch. She doesn't have a car because none of us did, so everyone who was there and awake ended up dragging him to the closest hospital that was a few blocks away from campus on foot. Why they did not call an ambulance or at least an Uber is beyond me, but panic does weird things to people.

Reading through this in the corner of my eye before class starts, I have forgotten about class entirely. I have forgotten about my breakfast and my coffee. A few people were asking if they should ask for the don's master key and wake me up, thinking that i might have training in these things from what my job was (i did), and then others shut them down saying "no, let him sleep. He gets home at 4:30 in the morning" (WHY DIDNT YOU WAKE ME UP I WOULDNT HAVE CARED IF YOU SAID SOMEONE WAS HAVING A MEDICAL EMERGENCY. I COULDVE AT LEAST KEPT YOU ALL CALM AND DELEGATED TASKS)

I send a message in just saying "guys I'm up now what is going on" with an @everyone attached.

Instantly get "several people are typing." That's never a good sign.

So this guy was in the ER for hours getting IV-fed. Because he had scurvy. And they had to vitamin C infuse him. Because he hadn't eaten a single fruit or vegetable or anything derived from a plant the entire school year. He got SCURVY. IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2019.

Bro eat a fruit. EVER?? But he just didn't. He just never did. He had fucking scurvy. He passed out and had bleeding gums and his teeth almost fell out. Because he had scurvy.

He did not come back the next school year because his parents pulled him out of the dorms on the basis that he couldn't be trusted to take care of himself after that incident. And I do not blame them at all. Ma'am your kid can't be trusted to eat one (1) orange all year.

[brotherwtf]

And also Buck teasing and edging Bucky? Just to be fair 🤷‍♀️

oh man you though John was being torturous? man Gale turns up the torture to ELEVEN

he doesn't even touch John all that much, ties his hands above his head so he can't touch Gale, allows his legs to kick and squirm while he touches him nice and slow, barely any pressure at all

he starts off with just his hands, running them up and down his thighs, looks deep into John's eyes as he does, and the eye contact alone is enough to make John squirm, but that coupled with Gales feather light touches that make his stomach and hips kick up makes John keen pathetically

he's louder than Gale, always has been, but when Gale's edging him like this, being torturous and slow he's basically crying and begging for it, tears in his eyes as he tries to take his tied hands and touch Gale, hold onto him, but Gale just takes them and puts them back over his head, giving him a firm stare and a shake of his head, tells John to be good

and John CAN be good, he really really can be good, but Gale's touches are driving him crazy, they're almost not there, he's barely touching him but it still makes him crazy, makes him want to cry and beg, which he does do and it only spurs Gale on more

at some point Gale gets a vibrator, one of those wands that Gale can hold up to John's cock, press it to the head so that Johns kicking his legs at the sensation, Gale holds it just long enough for John to pant and cry and beg for Gale to let him come, but then Gale will pull it away, will push John's hair back and kiss his forehead and watch as his cock jumps pathetically, shush him as he cries so prettily for him

Gale will continue this until Johns begging to come, moans loud and unabashed and ringing loud in their room and Gale comments on how loud he is, he must be really enjoying this, huh? and John can only cry and shake his head because it hurts, it hurts so good

Gale eventually stops teasing John with the vibrator and sits in between John's legs, taking his swollen, dripping cock in his hands and guiding it to his mouth, wrapping his lips around the tip of it and watching John through sinfully blue eyes, and John keens even louder now, hips bucking up into Gales mouth and he should be embarrassed by how quickly he comes but he doesn't care, he's been teased long enough

and while John's panting and whimpering Gale would pull off of his cock, kiss up to John's lips and tell him what a good job he did, what a good boy he is, and John blooms from the praise

[mythalism]

Wait wait wait- Something about how they intentionally wrote Solas invalidates alot of peoples perceptions about their inquisitor ? And on Solavellan? Can you explain that bit too (when you have time lol!)

yes, i do believe that the solavellan ending inevitably invalidates a lot of people's perceptions of their lavellan. this was always going to be the case, and so honestly i actually do respect that instead of pulling their punches to try and make everyone happy (like they did with the rest of the game lmaooo) trick had a clear vision and went for it even if it was going to be out of character for many people's original characters. i think this is the problem with dragon age and how it likes to toe the line between a true RPG and more narrative, linear story-based game, and this is why people often cite dragon age 2 and the mass effect series as better stories (not necessarily better GAMES, but better executed narratives) because the writers are not constrained in their writing by the infinite possibilities of thousands of player's personal headcanons about their characters. but dragon age inquisition didnt do that, so it is definitely out of character for a lot of people's lavellans to give up her life in thedas to run away with solas for eternity to sit with him in fade jail. i personally think its great and dramatic and tragic and messy as hell, but im extremely biased because it does work for my lavellan and doesnt feel out of character for her. if it felt out of character for a character id held close to my heart for 10 years, id honestly be pretty fucking pissed. so i have a lot of sympathy for people who are angry about the ending for that reason.

i think the plot of veilguard could have done a better job to ease a lavellan into that decision by giving her more clear reasons to make that choice, or at least presenting the player with opportunities to think of reasons for their lavellan to make that choice. letting her visit the lighthouse is one, being more explicit about the south being just... GONE is another. they could have set it up better to make it make more sense for more, different personality'd lavellans to choose such a fate for herself. but how we have it she basically just tells rook she'd lowkey run away with him if she could and then just sends it and we dont really see any of her internal process of coming to that decision. luckily for me i can make it make sense in my head, but i feel for the people who are frustrated.

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching reading. Today's choice: 死亡万花筒 / Kaleidoscope of Death.

Kaleidoscope of Death is a 2018 Chinese webnovel about two young men who fall in love while basically playing a whole bunch of horror-themed escape rooms that can for-real kill you.

This novel was gripping. I could not put it down. It started out fun and ended up ripping out my heart several times. It does a good job getting the ball rolling with a series of adventures in weird worlds, then turns into a meditation about grief and loss and what it means to have something to lose in the first place.

This is the first time I've ever done a book rec! I'm doing it in conjunction with a rec post for the Spirealm, and originally I was just going to do this as a bonus section for that post. However, I felt they both deserve whole different posts, because they both have very different things to recommend them. I also think Kaleidoscope of Death a 100% necessary read if you've seen the show, because it provides some context that the show simply cannot include -- but it's not a necessary read before you see the show.

Therefore, I'm going to give you five reasons I think you should sit down with this one, and not a single one of these reasons is going to assume you've watched the Spirealm! The book is great and deserves to be read on its own merits, and then if you then start watching the drama afterwards, so much the better.

1. All the Cross-Dressing

(Yeah, I'm going to punctuate this one with screencaps from the Spirealm, because otherwise it's just a wall of text.)

I'm not going to tell you why the male characters frequently dress and pass as women, since the book explains the practicality of it better than I could. You just need to know that they often do, and it's never not kinda hot when it happens.

When you first meet Ruan Nanzhu, it is as Ruan Baijie, a stunningly beautiful and noticeably tall woman. Lin Qiushi, our POV character who is extremely confused for a number of reasons, spends the first whole arc talking and thinking about Baijie like she's a girl. In fact, one of the cutest things about sweet, earnest Qiushi is that he clocks Baijie several times, and every time he's just like, oh, she's so flat-chested, how unusual for a girl, anyway...

And this isn't even just dressing up! Stepping into the door worlds changes you physically based on your clothing and cosmetics. Nobody inside looks the same as they do outside, and nobody looks the same inside as they did last time they were inside. The rules that govern these transformations aren't even clear to the characters themselves! So, you know, have fun with that.

I'm going to say it's not an out-and-out trans thing, in that we're not dealing with an AMAB egg who will crack someday. Ruan Nanzhu is a very male-identified, penis-having man! He's just also pretty entertainingly comfortable with performing whatever gender makes him the most fuckable person in any given room. Lin Qiushi is not so inherently genderfluid, however, which means that when his gremlin sort-of-boyfriend makes him pretend to be a girl, it's a completely different kink.

Therefore: If you like it in any way when boys dress up like girls, you owe it to yourself to pick up this one. And if you like a fandom that likes it when boys dress up like girls, baby, welcome to the world inside the doors.

2. Those boys GAY

This is a textual romance. Lin Qiushi and Ruan Nanzhu are in love. This is a danmei novel about how they fall in love. There is kissing and there are fade-to-black scenes that explicitly acknowledge that the two of them have sex with one another. We even know that Ruan Nanzhu (usually) tops. This s not just me pointing at them and saying gaaaaaaaaaay. This is actual gay.

And it is gay that takes its fucking time. They do not actually hook up until well over halfway through the book, but they are physically affectionate from almost the get-go. Ruan Nanzhu is such a trickster and a liar that Lin Quishi finds it hard to believe that anything he does is sincere, which leads to nearly lesbian levels of wondering if it means anything when a guy demands you kiss him on the mouth when he's pretending to be your girlfriend. Meanwhile, Ruan Nanzhu is over here being the Kate Beaton comic about sitting here consumed with lust all evening.

Even once they both acknowledge what they're feeling for one another, they don't get together right away. After all, they're playing a game of life and death where they lose friends left and right. Every time someone goes inside the door, there's a real chance they won't come out again. Is giving your heart to someone worth how much it will destroy your entire life when you lose them?

(Yes, says the book. Yes, it is worth it.)

The slow burn of their relationship is delicious, in part because the physical (though not sexual) aspects of it predate the romantic ones. It also has the fun hot-and-cold aspect where Ruan Nanzhu is incredibly affectionate inside the doors, then icy outside of them. Poor completely inexperienced, never-been-kissed Lin Qiushi does not know what to make of any of this. He can barely manage parenting a cat. He does not know how to handle a boyfriend who is also a girlfriend who is also (spiritually) a cat.

I also find it charming how much the gay part of it both is and isn't an issue. It's not that Lin Qiushi has a problem being in love with a man; however, the fact that Ruan Nanzhu is a man does mean the heteronormally indoctrinated and relationship-inexperienced Lin Qiushi takes much longer to realize what exactly those feelings he's having are. The book's world is one where heterosexuality is the assumed default, while queerness is unexpected but everybody's still pretty cool with it. Besides, no one's going to judge Lin Qiushi's gay yearnings, because who doesn't want to fuck Ruan Nanzhu?

3. HAKO ONNA HAKO ONNA HAKO ONNA

So as I was reading through @zintranslations' earlier chapters, I kept seeing translators' notes down at the bottom about being so excited to finally get to the Hako Onna arc. Okay, I thought, this is a lot of hype; I hope it doesn't disappoint.

Friends, it does not. This is the arc I was reading while screaming into a pillow. It's thirteen chapters long, tied for the longest arc in the book with the first door. It is a fucking nail-biter. It does the clever thing of taking all the things you've learned about what can happen inside the doors and combining them for a worst-case scenario.

The setup is pretty simple: There's a bunch of boxes. One has the exit. Most are empty. Some have things that help you. Some have things that hurt you. The more things you find that hurt you, the more things there are to hurt you. And you have to open the boxes.

All the door arcs are pretty well-written, so that you can more or less play along with their various adventures. Hako Onna, however, is exceptional. It's so complicated, but you can actually follow it. And you need to be able to follow it, because the multiple emotional gut-punches that happen in this arc all depend on understanding how the rules of the game have just been leveraged to fuck someone over.

Now I really want to play the board game -- which I was pleased to discover is a real board game! And speaking of board games...

sidebar: Betrayal at House on the Hill

I know this isn't technically related to the novel at all, but if you like board games, horror, and being incredibly dramatic, you owe it to yourself to try out Betrayal at House on the Hill.

It goes like this: You and several other horror-movie archetypes wander through a mansion, "building" it as you explore it, so the game layout is different every time. At some point (and it's based on so many random factors that you never know when it'll be) someone triggers a condition, and the haunting begins. All the players then get the rules of haunting explained to them -- except for one player, the one picked to do the titular betrayal, who gets a different set of instructions and becomes the antagonist. From that point on, the game is about either surviving or completing the haunting, depending on which side you're on.

I have played this game before with normal board game people, and they were like, eh, this is fine. I have also played this game before with theatre kids who RP and LARP, and we all had a fucking blast. So I'm going to warn you that you have to choose your crowd carefully. This is a game for people who do improv and voices.

4. The art of losing isn't hard to master

The book has a high body count -- higher than the show's, in fact, though that's related to how the book also has more characters than the show does. When you meet someone who can go into the doors, be careful how much money you'd lay on their survival.

Death after the doors comes so quickly, too. There's barely any time to say goodbye, if there's even any time at all. Often there's just a phone call telling our main characters that one of their friends or allies or enemies is gone.

Everyone who gets the chance to go through the door worlds is only able to do so because they're dying already. The more doors they pass, the more they get to kick that death further down the road -- but the more doors they enter, the more chances they take that they might die inside one. So really, none of the players can be that resentful of being forced to play a game that can kill them, since they're already playing it on borrowed time.

I will say, somewhat cryptically, that the book has a positive ending that leaves open the possibility for other positive things. The path to that positive ending, though, leads through some pretty wrenching takes on living through grief. It's not even all rah-rah and it-gets-better, either -- the text acknowledges many times over what it means to have someone that life isn't worth living without.

And that's maybe not what you expected from a BL horror adventure webnovel, but it's what you're gonna get! Ha ha!

5. What He Is

Which is the title of the first extra chapter, which is not extra at all, but is in fact a necessary explanatory piece that whacks you upside the head like a two-by-four and recontextualizes the entire story.

...Yeah, that's all you're going to get from me about that. You'll understand when you get there.

Have you put it on your reading list yet?

The way you have to read it is a little convoluted: @zintranslations has chapters 1-17 and 63-end + extras. Taida Translations has chapters 1-62. So no matter where you start reading, you're going to have to switch sites at least once.

There are also apparently Portuguese, Indonesian, Russian, and Spanish translations too? And the original Chinese webnovel, of course. And some audio dramas and subs linked to from this Carrd, which helpfully has other information, like content warnings for specific chapters, in case the horror aspect of the story gives you pause.

Anyway, once you're done reading it -- or even before you're done! -- you should absolutely go watch the Spirealm. I think it's clear from both rec posts that I definitely like the book better, but I appreciate having the drama to bring so many scenes to life, and I think the casting is great. Also, I don't think reading the book makes you like the drama less! Rather, I think reading the book gives you insight into the awkward and sometimes terrible choices the drama had to make to survive -- which in turn gives you the ability to see through those choices, on to what the show always wanted in its heart to be.

I do find it funny how "Kaleidoscope of Death" and "Death's Kaleidoscope" technically mean the same thing, but they sure read different, don't they?

[atleastpleasetelephone]

Kinktober Day 29 - Masks/Costumes

A/N: Okay so this came about because of a conversation with @jhoneybees and a tiktok about imagining Elvis doing a Calvin Klein advert. This is basically set now, but imagine it's 1969 Elvis, don't ask me how that works it just does.

Pairing: 69!Elvis x photographer!reader

Word count: 2.1K

TWs: This concept is maybe too hot to think about for too long so be careful, masturbation, p in v sex, dirty photos, kinda public sex. There's a mask but honestly I just shoehorned it in there.

Kinktober masterlist

“So if you could just strip down to the underwear, and then make yourself comfortable on the chair. We’ve got some props in the box too.”

Elvis frowns a little at the word “props”, but does as he’s told. He’s nervous about this photoshoot. He never thought he would do anything like this, but here he is. He starts to strip, feeling self-conscious under the hot lights. He’s never really been a big fan of underwear but these new Calvin Klein boxer shorts are pretty comfortable. They don’t leave much to the imagination, though, and he sits awkwardly on the armchair, shuffling his legs about. 

“Can you put one of those masks on, please?”

He starts at the voice. Female, honeyed, with an air of authority. Looking up, he’s confronted by you and your camera. He’d been expecting the female set helpers but not a female photographer. Becoming even more aware of the way his dick looks in his pants, he crosses one leg over the other. He pulls a mask out of the box of props and puts it on over his eyes, feeling like this must look absolutely ridiculous but trying his best to be amenable. The lights are beating down on him and he feels like the entire room of people is staring at him. He’s usually happy to be looked at, encourages it almost, but this is different. He feels naked, exposed. 

“Um… uh… is this okay, honey?”

You sigh. “Uncross your legs. And stop calling me honey, Mr Presley.”

“Ah I-I’m sorry… Miss…” he stumbles awkwardly over the words. “Ya…um… ya don’t have ta call me Mr Presley. Elvis is fine.”

“Uncross your legs, Elvis.”

You watch as he slowly does as you tell him. Men calling you pet names annoys you on principle, but he’s much less cocky than you’d expected. There’s something endearing about the way he stumbles over his words and seems a little unsure of himself. 

“That’s great, thanks. We’ll take a few shots for the lighting now. Try to relax.”

Elvis tries his very best to relax, but he can’t help but feel a combination of terror and arousal. You’re gorgeous but he can’t seem to charm you like he usually would. You don’t seem interested. Maybe you’re just being professional, but it’s still off-putting. He puts a hand on each of the arms of the chair and tries to keep his expression neutral. You take a few shots and ask the lighting technicians to make one or two changes until you’re happy. Then you actually look at his face and realise he looks terrified. 

“Really try to relax, Elvis. You look like you’re about to be eaten by a grizzly bear.”

There’s a moment of silence and then he bursts out laughing. His whole face lights up as he belly-laughs and you grin back, taking a few photos of him looking natural. You take a quick look at them and decide you can do without the mask. It was something that the stylist had suggested for the shoot, and you’d wondered why anyone would want to cover up such a gorgeous face, but they’d done a relatively good job of persuading you. Some kind of eyes wide shut theme or something like that. But it doesn’t work, and you aren’t one to stick to things just for the sake of it. 

“That’s better! Get rid of the mask too, that’s not working for me.”

He smiles, pulling it off and throwing it onto the floor. “This working for you, honey?” He asks, cheekily, leaning back in the chair and spreading his legs wide. 

You find yourself biting your lip to stifle a moan. He looks damn hot. But you have to be professional. You’ve done plenty of these photoshoots with attractive men, and you haven’t lost your cool yet. 

“That’s great. Let’s have a few of you smiling like that and then a couple of serious ones.”

His brain works overtime as he follows your directions. Are you interested? He swears he saw you bite your lip just then, but your voice is even and professional and you’re not flirting back at all. 

You keep snapping away with the camera, directing him and the lighting people until you get what you want. Your eyes are drawn to his hands, the glittering rings and the length of his fingers… you clear your throat. Have to keep things professional. 

“You getting what you need, honey?” His eyes are sparkling and there’s a little smile playing about his lips. 

“What did I tell you about calling me honey? It’s not 1973.”

Elvis raises both eyebrows and then lets them fall again. Does he detect something different in your voice? The tiniest quiver?

“You didn’t answer my question. Are ya gettin’ what ya need?”

He runs his tongue over his lips and you have to work hard not to lose it completely. 

“Yes, thank you, Elvis.” 

Your eyes involuntarily shift to the bulge in his pants. Luckily the camera is against your face so he can’t see where you’re looking, but you just stare. It’s definitely been growing over the course of the photoshoot. 

“Just one or two more. Give me your sexiest look.”

You have no idea why you decided to play with fire like that, and you regret it immediately. He smoulders, blue eyes staring at you as he rests his chin in his hand. Your panties are definitely getting damp now. You take a few more photos and then bite your lip, hard. 

“That’s great. Thanks. That’s a wrap!” 

Elvis blinks. He doesn’t want this to be over. He’s having far too much fun.

“Could ya do one or two more? I’m not sure I gave ya my sexiest look…”

Your stomach flip-flops. If that wasn’t his sexiest look you’re not sure you want to see what is.

“Well, okay, maybe one or two more.”

The lighting technician sighs audibly. It’s well past lunch time. You look over at him. 

“Why don’t you go for lunch? The lights are fine.” You look around at the other one or two people in the room. “You can all go. We won’t be much longer.”

Elvis watches the scene with interest. You’re refusing to make eye contact with him and he swears you’re blushing. Everyone else is just happy to be allowed to go, grabbing their things and making their way out. It’s just you and him now, and the room is quiet.

Elvis breaks the silence. “We won’t be much longer, hm?” 

You look up, awkwardly, suddenly wondering just what you thought you were doing when you sent everyone else for lunch. 

“N-no, just…uh… one or two more shots.”

Elvis chuckles. “Relax, baby. You look like you’re about to be eaten by a grizzly bear. And I ain’t that big.” But I will eat ya, he thinks. 

The tension in the room defuses for a minute or two as you laugh along with him. You pick up your camera again. 

“Okay, come on then. Really give me your sexiest look this time.”

You can hear your heart beating in your ears and feel your whole body getting hot. He runs his fingers through his hair, closing his eyes for a moment, and then you watch as they spring open and he fixes you with the most intense stare. Propping his head up again on the back of his hand, elbow on the arm of the chair, without any kind of warning he puts a finger in his mouth and bites on the knuckle. You almost faint on the spot. 

“Fuck.”

His eyes widen and his lips curl into a smile. 

“What’s that, baby?” Noting that’s the second time he’s called you baby and got away with it.

“N-nothing. That’s good. You’re right, that is sexier than what you were doing before.”

Your heart is pounding in your chest, your panties are ruined and you’re actively suppressing a moan. He can see the effect he’s having and he knows exactly when to strike. 

“Come closer.”

His voice is so syrupy you can’t help yourself, putting one foot in front of the other until you’re standing right in front of him. You shakily move your camera from your face. 

“I-I think I’ve got what I… um… need,” you babble, trying to keep your eyes on his face but finding them wandering down to his boxers again. 

“Nothing else ya need?” He teases, moving one of his hands to rest on his clothed dick. 

You swallow. “N-no, Elvis.”

“No?”

You just stare at him, unable to speak. 

“Nothing else ya want to take a photo of?” 

Part of him can’t believe he’s being this bold, but he finds himself staring right into your eyes as he rubs his dick through the boxers, letting out a little breathy sigh and biting his lip. 

The tension is unbearable. 

“What are you offering?” You whisper, your eyes darting down to his hand on his dick and back up again. 

He smirks. “Just sayin’ ya can take photos of whatever ya like.”

You step back and bring your camera back up to your face, snapping a photo of him with his hand so obviously touching himself through his pants. 

“Take it out,” you find yourself instructing him. 

He grunts, shifting the boxers down a little as he reaches inside them for his dick, pulling it out and stroking it a couple of times.

“Can you… move the boxers down… further?” Your mouth feels dry and you try desperately to swallow. 

He pulls them down a little more and you gulp, seeing his balls exposed under that big, thick shaft. You take a few more photos. Elvis’ chest heaves. 

“Touch yourself again.”

He does as he’s told, slowly moving his foreskin up and down, staring right into the camera as he does it. You adjust the lens, take more photos, squeeze your thighs together. 

Your hands shake as you move the camera away from your face. He looks so good. 

“You got what you need?” He asks, still lazily stroking himself. 

You shake your head, trying to put the camera down carefully before walking the couple of steps it takes to reach him. 

“No. I need your dick inside me.”

He groans, watching as you pull your pencil skirt up around your waist and position yourself on his lap, pulling your panties to the side and sinking down on his length. 

“Fuck,” you murmur, feeling him stretch you. 

“You okay, baby?” He asks, as you gasp at the feeling of him filling you up completely. 

You’re surprised at the tenderness, at the way he pulls you into a kiss when you tell him yes. Your arms snake around his neck and his fingers grip your hips, thrusting up into you from underneath. You lean your forehead against his, panting as you roll your hips too, both of you holding each other. 

“How long have we got?” He asks. 

“I don’t know,” you breathe, cursing yourself for not checking the time when you let everyone else go. “We better be quick.”

He nods, his grip on your hips getting tighter as he fucks you from underneath. You start to bounce on him, matching his pace, both of you moaning against one another’s skin. 

“Baby, you feel so good.”

You bounce faster, your fingers finding their way into his hair. “Fuck me harder,” you murmur. 

His hips snap up obediently, driving his dick even deeper inside you. He can feel himself getting close but he wants you to cum first. 

“You close?”

You nod, pulling one of his hands down between your legs. He doesn’t need any further instructions, his thumb rubbing your clit as he keeps pounding you. Your fingers grip and pull his hair as your orgasm builds in the pit of your stomach. 

“Fuck. Fuck.” 

Elvis grips you more tightly, feeling how close you are. His thumb rubs harder and faster and you feel yourself start to unravel. 

“I’m cumming… ohhhh….” 

He watches you as you arch backwards, riding him through your high, desperately wishing he could take a picture. Your walls squeezing him tightly push him over the edge too, and without thinking he cums inside you. 

“Fuck. Honey. I uh… are ya on the pill?”

You lean your sweaty forehead against his again, one hand wrapped around the back of his neck. 

You smirk. “Yeah. Don’t worry.” Pressing a kiss to his lips. “But what did I tell you about calling me honey?”

***

Taglist:

Please let me know if you want to be added or removed:

@vintagepresley @arg-xoxo @from-memphis-with-love @msamarican @blursedblegh @returntopresley @another-identityofmine @eapep @everythingelvispresley @i-r-i-n-a-a @sissylittlefeather @arrolyn1114 @jhoneybees @cattcb @polksaladava @lookingforrainbows @jkdaddy01 @ccab @epthedream69 @lustnhim @elvisslut @pomtherine @that-hotdog @ladelinee @angschrof @fairybloodsucker @deltafalax @makethemorning @elviswhore69 @ilovequeen978

[bloomshroomz]

I recently quit my job because they didn't offer me enough time off and kept threatening to fire me over my absences. The attendance policy was very strict, and I was unlucky enough to get Covid almost immediately after getting hired... Which used up all my PTO.

It took about two months worth of shifts to earn enough PTO to cover just one 8 hour shift (give or take, depending on how many hours they gave me... And they had recently cut my hours heavily.)

If you take a day off without the PTO to cover it, you get penalized for it, even if you call in, and even if you're sick. It didn't take long for me to reach the "you're getting fired" penalty, because after getting Covid, I basically never had the PTO I needed to cover my shifts, and last minute shift swaps were basically impossible if I suddenly woke up feeling ill.

They excused me for reaching this penalty once, and told me they'd fire me if it happened again. I reached the penalty again, and they excused it a second time, then threatened termination once more.

They were being "lenient" with me, but I was still under constant threat of termination. And, needless to say, I got sick again when the weather got colder. It wasn't Covid, but I was ill nonetheless.

I was terrified of being fired, so I went to work despite being sick. I really didn't want to, both because I felt physically awful and because I really didn't want to get anyone else sick (I worked in customer service and it was very busy because of the holidays), but I was backed into a corner. I wore a mask (which I do anyway) but that's not a proper substitute for staying home. I still feel guilty about it.

My illness was quickly getting worse throughout the day, to the point where I could barely stand. I sat down, and they chastised me for it. I continued to sit. I tried to push through the full shift, but I just couldn't do it. I told my boss that I was going home early and using my tiny bit of PTO to cover it, and he still tried to convince me to stay, even with the condition I was in.

I used my PTO and went home. I stayed home and rested for about a week, and as soon as I was feeling well again, I went to my workplace, cleaned out my locker, and quit. I'm lucky that I was in the position to do so, but this sort of shit really shouldn't happen in the first place, especially because a lot of people aren't so lucky. If my situation were different, I could be homeless right now... All because I got sick.

Requiring that people work while sick under threat of termination should be a fucking human rights violation, especially after Covid.

Fuck the US.

i want to demonstrate how fucked up america is compared to the rest of the world

this is all the types of leave in Aotearoa.

if you're wondering what bereavement leave is, its leave you get when someone in your life dies. the bereavement here is at minimum 3 days, and you also get it if you or a partner has a miscarriage.

thats right, if you are a man and your partner has a miscarriage out of wedlock you can get leave. ive heard about other countries not even letting men take parental leave.

everyone gets a maximum of 12 public holidays off, and if its is on a weekend you get monday off, and it only counts as one public holiday.

annual leave is 4 weeks and paid. you can choose when to take it. this is basically a requirement.

public holidays, annual leave, bereavement leave, and 10 days of sick leave, are the minimum amount of holidays we get.

assuming no one dies, its normal to get around 50 days off per year.

THIS IS NORMAL FOR MOST OF THE WORLD

americans need to know this so they know how much theyve been fucked over. im living in a utopia by comparison, and people still want more days off.

you dont know youre being abused if you think its normal. not everyone lives like that.

unionize. ask for a raise. call politicians and suggest more holidays (towns can have local holidays so dont forget the mayor). its also awesome to tell your boss to give a coworker a raise. if they do they might give everyone a raise, so you do have a selfish reason to be kind.

it is abuse to force you to work yourself to death under threat of death.

its slavery.

[schleierkauz]

In case anyone is wondering why I've barely been posting since TCoR released, it's because I have filled up a journal with my thoughts on it, started translating the whole thing for fun and gotten into several heated discussions with irl friends. Until we've all read it I don't trust myself to be very active on here because if I end up being the person to accidentally spoil any of you I'd walk into the ocean.

[kirby-the-gorb]

[wiezumbeispiel]

Had an idea that was like. Well what if instead of crows glados had 3 baby porygons?? They’re kind of like birds. Kind of. Anyways all you need to know is that she loves them very much

[mx-potato]

if i have to sit through one more conversation in which i have to listen to someone chirp about the benefits of AI, i am going to stab someone

[rowanisawriter]

Daylight saving another tool used by the capitalists to keep us disoriented and confused