#because no one cares and it doesnt matter that im out of their lives
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nyxisnotafictive · 1 month ago
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a bit sorry to the folks who really didnt get involved with my situation at all and are just cut off because it would be too awkward and weird to hang out
though not a lot of effort was coming my way anyway if im honest, with maybe one exception- and even then i was sort of given up on. maybe my fault for not keeping up with what i wanted to keep up with. maybe my fault for not being able to put *my* effort into certain things
i dont know. im going to be hurt about this for a while because it's one wound reopening, and opening up wider, and splitting into so many other wounds, and combining with all kinds of other wounds
it's just hard to think about how no one ever wants to fight for me. no one wants to strive to do better for me. no one wants to askcme to stick around. it fucking sucks man
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ratatatastic · 3 months ago
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AFTER 11 LONG MONTHS OF WAITING. ITS FINALLY HIS CHANCE. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. MIKKSY TAKING A SHIFT ON THE PP.
carolina hurricanes @ florida panthers | 9.28.24
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lambjock · 3 months ago
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i think that viewing the little hope relationships as just ‘family’ ( specifically : blood family, ones with traditional roles and relationships, one bred from a nuclear familial structure ) has a habit of dismissing them entirely. it is not blood that binds them together, nor is it family structures, and throughout every iteration of their lives things change. sometimes they’re merely neighbors with a slim portion of blood relation, sometimes they’re bound by flimsy paper or war, and sometimes they’re students at a college following their professor around. the nature of their relationships change, as do their circumstances and surroundings, but they ( as a mismatched unit ) are eternally bound and divided by a child and an inherent, unescapable tragedy. the important aspect of their relationships is that they are agonized individuals who are stuck together and wouldn’t like to be. the important theme between them is that despite their determined suffering, all the bad ways they clash, and in spite of a bubbling self loathing so awful that it literally kills them, they have found love and comfort in each other anyway, or perhaps have realized a love that has always been there. there’s no ‘i love you as a daughter’ between angela and taylor, just as much as there isn’t any ‘i love you as a sibling’ between dennis and tanya. they just love each other. even the clarke family, arguably the most familial bond they have, still isn’t traditional. none of them are blood and all of them are strangers inside their own home. they don’t look alike and they don’t share dna and they typically don’t care for the facade of a family either, more content to treat each other like roommates at best, and that’s fascinating because why would they care? why would standard labels matter to souls as ancient as theirs? it’s just another flesh they adorn, it’s just another pain they’ll carry and shape and hate. idk! i just think forcing titles on it all is rather boring in nature, and actively hinders the genuine relationships there, in an attempt to have a rulebook of sorts to follow. i also just loathe how the found family trope is constantly turned into a literal family, when it was made to spit in the face of a nuclear family structure. but that’s just me <3
#my posts.#if you believe in the reincarnation theory than HOW can you only view the relationships through a family lense#in two out of three of the timelines we see — they are not family!! not all of them anyway.#they put on different titles but their bonds remain the same.#all the masks in the world cant change their instinctive feelings for each other. good AND bad!#there is a lot of ‘you cannot hide from yourself’ in lh and i do think that’s important#they are always themselves. no matter what time period they’re from or how they’re raised or how different they now are. etc#so viewing things as like ‘oh they’re father/son’ doesnt do much for me#joseph and abraham start out as equals and close friends despite their age difference. and you see that friendship between john and andrew!#at least more than a typical parent-child dynamic#daniel and taylor are lovers and it’s heavily implied their feelings for each other have always been intense and more romantic in nature#despite their original label as siblings#so on so forth. john and angela being married in past lives is sweet but it never becomes their main reason for caring about each other#angela ( even at the end of things ) still mocks the idea of being married to john and actively doesn’t care for it.#but that doesn’t negate her love for him — romantic and otherwise!#again idk!! little hope has some of the best relationships ive ever seen and i think its because of this aspect#at their core they’re soulmates in horror. which is a better way to view them as opposed to family imo#the group entirely is far from traditional and i love it!!! i love a love and pain that transcends time plot#and lh actively does it so well …#i could say more on this but im a bit hungover and stuff alas ugh#but. idk! in my eyes they are NOT a nuclear family lol. not even the clarkes were one#their characters and relationships are so profound BECAUSE they are stripped of labels in my eyes. they are all an exposed nerve of a thing
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pleasedontcareaboutme · 3 months ago
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i think i finally realized why ive been feeling so damn depressed lately again
sorry for writing this here. im really hurting actually. im not good. i feel a bit helpless too. idk who to talk to bc i dont want to burden anyons and i donf feel like anything could console me right now
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Like. fuck me man. thanks for saving me but. why the hell are you not here. i dont want to do this without you. i hate only being able to remember you. i was supposed to grow old with you, not without you.
And. honestly. even with all this bullshit i say here, all the endless times i spend trying to write down my feelings, abt you, about all the pain ive felt my life, it doesnt get better. not at all. and no words, no poetry takes it away and i truly feel like nobody will ever truly understand how suffocated i felt all my life.
and i want to change thanks to you but. i dont know. nothing's satisfying enough.
no matter what, i truly only feel great when im in that daydream like world you created.
and these past days ive been thinking a lot that. i really wouldnt mind dying right now. not at all. because at least i know what happiness feels like. and i want to stay in that state. probably, even in this life your music will bring me happiness, but i want to be trapped in it.
im tired of being so unseen, and even when im seen, im hurting. but i dont know whats hurting. i think im just really tired thats all.
and. ye. i feel brave tbh. i still havent posted my video to instagram, bc im not brave for that. i dont know. and i feel like a hypocrite bc everything is true that i wrote there but at the same time these are my thoughts currently
in a long while i looked up suicide methods again. i feel so hopeful, but im not really sure if really for the future. jm sorry this is probably alarming. i will probably not kill myself but. idk. im not sure actually. i dknt know what to say. i wasnt cut out for this wordly shit.i feel unlovable but even if im loved, i donf want to be. i dont want anything. just let me stsy in this quiet place snd just. disappear. i wouldnt want my family to hurt if i die but i wont know about it anyways. idk man. i feel strongly i could die calmly this time and thats nice. bc 6 years ago i was terrified, and hurt. but now im content and kind of ready idk man. its not a terrible feeling, its a "this is it, it was nice while it lasted" ig.
there are no clouds in my head actually. i truly dont feel like im thinking irrationally, i feel like this would just be like. the end goal i was looking for. to feel true love once. it was nice.
no goodbye yet bc idk how id kms even if i do. But ill tell u guys if i found something.
#you know it's funny#i still feel this way but the moment i wrote this#on tiktok one of my friends that was there for most of my times followed my secret tiktok account and#the friend that i lost last year checked my account and#i hope she fucking knows how much that means to me#because i always felt like she hstes me but i still deeply feel she cares abf me and silently looks out for me and i feel so sorry#bc in the past 4 days she has checked my account multiple times and idk man#i truly feel like she sees that im struggling i appreciate it a lot#but i could never tell her that because what if im wrong and also#i dont fit in that friendship anymore#but im still really greatful#for checking up on me even like this#*most of my life#noticed a typo#idk anyways i just really needed to scream this into the void. I didn't want to be so sad today. i just scrolled instagram to numb myself#all day. but i got off my phone it was terrible. idk. i feel im not sure i can get my shit together by monday#im sick of having to fall apart and build myself up every fucking day man. and each day i literally wake up telling myself affirmations#trying to convince myself that its oka#it will be okay at least when u are home at night. wait for that moment everyday but. im tired of waiting for night to be happy man.#i have 30 mins to either post that fuckin video and make a fool of myself bc i told myself i need to post it on the 19th. but idk man. Im#terrified it will only disappoint me. people will make fun of me. idk man. its not that funny is it. or is it? how pathetic i am for clingi#g to the only hope in my life like a fucking abandoned dog man. but what can i do. i dont want to depend on you so much. but then who shoul#i depend on? if i depend on myself im just gonna kill myself man.idk. my grief is getting worse day by day. i still practice guitar everyda#hoping that maybe you will come back or something will come back. maybe mywill to live will come back? maybe the Instrument will play a not#that I can depend on? i dont really know what im looking for thats the worst. living is uncomfortable and dark. even when im smiling with m#friends i feel lost.there's something i feel like they know and i dont. when they could name their favorite colors in kindergarten i alread#knew something was different abt me.its really isolating.not having a clue of who am i.i keep saying im finding myself more and more but tb#i still in a way like im always wearing a costume. i wonder how naked id have to be to find myself. sorry for word vomitting.it maybe helps#anyways acchan i miss you.this world feels really stale without you.i wish I could truly show how much I love you with my words or life but#i dont really think it makes a difference.my voice really doesnt matter that much in the end.maybe im too much
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stellardeer · 1 year ago
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i have to come to terms with the fact that I am actually well off for someone in this country now, like.. idk it's weird
i'm still living the exact same lifestyle that i was before, so for the most part it feels almost like nothing has changed, like maybe im spending a little bit more money on food and buying the "good" toilet paper, but all that does is allow me to actually have savings in my bank account
i still stand with the working class and impoverished people of this country, and I am very much still in the boat of "one [very] bad day from homelessness" so i am not taking this for granted whatsoever
i've just been watching some of those youtube channels where they interview random people all over the country and just like.. kinda show what their life is like and it's definitely putting mine in perspective
very very grateful for the opportunities i have had and very proud of myself for forcing myself to stay in college (even tho it took almost 10 years to finish and left me with a mountain of debt) and just like.. idk, i feel like i could be doing more to help people out, i can't wait til im out of debt ;o;
#like idk it makes me feel a little bad sometime that im able to live comfortably while others arent#fuck i mean i got one of my friends living on my fucking couch rn i have a daily reminder of the inequality in this country#cause he doesnt have any qualifications to get a good enough job to fucking LIVE in this city#he's been trying to find a place to live but everywhere wants you to be making 3x the rent#and there's not a fucking job in this town that will pay you that much...#it's college town most people here are not even paying their own rent their well-off parents are paying it#ive never even fucking paid rent here i was living off the good fucking graces of my friends and my partner for like 7 years#and im still not paying rent i live in a trailer park and i own the trailer it's a shitty 2bd that i've had to pay to fix multiple times#but the fact that i can even afford to do that now is INSANE TO ME#I OWN A BUILDING WTF#i mean i do pay lot rent but it's only $300/mo#but rent prices here keep going up and up and up and i feel bad for my friend cause i dont know wtf he's supposed to do#i'm not charging him anything to live here so he's saved up a bunch of money but no matter how much he has the apartment places dont care#cause he wont have that money once he has to spend it all on bills and then his paychecks wont be able to cover living costs...#and i love him but he's just a little bit stupid and like.. doesn't seem to comprehend that he cannot afford a place that's $900 :'D#like he thinks that because he makes $1500 a month that he can spend $900 of that on rent like buddy NOO#what about FOOD? and OTHER BILLS? that's JUST rent dude what about lights and water????#but also idk i dont feel THAT bad for him cause he could always just move back in with his mom or live with a roommate but he fcking refuse#anyway this got off on a tangent the point is once im out of debt im donating all my fucking money
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caffeinatedopossum · 2 years ago
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Vent
Gotten to the point where I just lay awake in bed thinking "it doesn't get better, does it?" every night and every morning for as long as my body and my brain force me to lay there. Which is anywhere between 1 hour and all fucking night when I go to bed and around a half hour to an hour when I wake up, if I even slept. I'm so goddamn tired.
Even if I get everything I need it's never going to be enough for me, is it? I'll never do all the things I want to do, I'll never be able to be the person I want to be. I'm not guaranteed a long life and I know that better than most. I might never even get to heal from my trauma. I might never even get the bare minimum. And I know I'll never be able bodied.
Every night I lay in bed and wonder if I've used up all my tomorrows already; if I've wasted them being a victim and feeling sorry for myself and being chronically ill. All of the things I haven't done and the things I can never do feel the same when I don't expect tomorrow to arrive.
I feel so incredibly robbed and the grief of that shakes me to my core. My whole life has just been effort upon effort upon effort, pushing a boulder up a hill with no peak. And I can't push anymore. I can't try anymore. I let dirty dishes and laundry and trash pile up around me until the filth itself is another problem I can't afford. I don't know what to do. And if I did, I'm afraid I wouldn't do it anyways.
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snekdood · 2 months ago
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and now that nigels gone, you dont have to pretend to care about black people anymore. even though you're supposedly a devout christian of some flavor so surely you also believe your god and your dead friends are watching over you with a judging eye- so im not sure why you're so giddy thinking you can 'get away with' being a bigot now that hes dead. do you believe god punishes sinners or not? oh wait- no… in your made up reality where nothing is congruent and we have lots of contradicting beliefs-- god just punishes the people you dislike, huh?
#vent#jake#gonna start a tag for you bc im done being considerate of you. ive been too considerate of you and not trying to step on you my whole#fucking life. i didnt talk about what you did to me for so long bc people asked me not to. but im tired.#you're an alt righter now. its a given. obviously you're a fucking rapist. me coming out with what you did at this point changes nothing#its more of a 'duh' moment rn. but in the past? lord knows all of those hoes from school wouldnt have believed me bc for some reason#people are easily charmed by bigoted assholes because they think its funney and dont want to have to be critical of them#bc then they dont have the funney man to laugh at anymore. and god forbid they not have that. god forbid they have to be serious#for fucking once in their lives.#maybe thats why you did the clout chasing. bc so long as you appeared accepting of minorities and project any of the shitty shit#you do on to me- then no one would believe me. is that why you did what you did? it wouldnt surprise me.#and thats why it doesnt matter now that you're not in school... no one to beat you up for being a rapist pos now.#all of this me keeping it shut up for so long hoping you wouldnt turn out to be a bigot and for what.#its almost like @my parents you should have made a stronger fucking point of punishing him for that shit. instead of a fucking slap#on the fucking wrist. not that im sure my dad cares he'd let anything happen to me if it meant you'd stay a right winger.
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radiotorn · 8 months ago
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having to restrain from saying anything when my dad dares to say that men get paid LESS than women. in what world. are you out of your fucking mind old man.
#ow.err#IN WHAT WORLD ARE MEN PAID LESS THAN WOMEN.#like. i shouldnt be surprised he said that bc he watched and/rew t/ate and jo/e rog/an so like. of fucking course he'd think that.#but like dude. you have no idea what youre talking about.#and there is NO WAY im gonna even try to tell him otherwise bc he is. loud. yk.#im just gonna. leave that there. bc its not my responsibility to 'fix' my parents as much as id love to try.#its just not my responsibility. and itll prob just end in me getting screamed at anyways since they wont listen to me or anything i say#cuz im still a kid in their eyes ! ! ! !!!! ! ! so cool ! ! ! ! ! !#almost 20. father doesnt think i know how to wake myself up w/o being woken up by someone else.#SO INSULTING BTW. i always get up on time. no matter what. nearly 20 and he thinks im a fking child still#both my mom and dad do but my dad does it in an 'underestimating' me way and my mom does it in a 'tries to overly coddle me' way#you know? i dunno. i dunno. i wanna move out but money is so fked rn. and idk how to do like. anything. so im just...#gonna do my classes and try to get a nice job and save up for awhile before i actually move out to my own place#im also kind of scared bc idk if ill have the. will to care for myself once i move out. like im worried ill just let myself die#sso. things to. work on before i get out of here i guess. but the thing is this environment will not let me heal. ahhh !!!!!!!!!#the only way out is through!!! through and scared!!!!!!!!!!!! tmrw marks the start of my life potentially starting to change. for the bette#but still changing. and oh man. im very nervous. its scary#cuz like. i didnt think id live past like 12 ??? so to be almost 20 and very behind on 'adult things' is. scary?daunting?#it all almost feels unreal. like im reaching a part of my life i never thought id actually reach. it feels like ive been living on#borrowed time since 12 so now im like. damn i have to live dont i. i have to actively make this life worth living now#some days i still worry itll be my last but ... im just gonna try to take it one step at a time. its all i can do.#be as prepared as i can. and take it one step at a time. i clutch onto the hope that my life will get better#and i clutch onto it with an iron grip. because damn it. it has to get better than this. it has to.#wow this got derailed. oh well my poast my rules.
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ever-after-aaa · 2 years ago
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This prompt........ i had some thoughts. One of my favs
Tim Drake and Jason Todd are both halfas. They just don’t know it for a while.
HI BONES I JUST WOKE UP FROM THIS DREAM AND HAD TO SHARE.
There’s something recogonized between them, when Robin meets Red Hood in Titan’s Tower. But it’s a mystery to both of them what - especially Jason. There’s no reason for the new Robin to reek of the Dead - not like him. 
The truth comes out a few years later, in hushed whispers of a desperate Tim Drake - something is happening that reminds him of something terrible: after the first week of truly being in the Robin suit, he has a gap in his memory of weeks. Okay a couple months, accurately.
He’s hidden this well - the gap is after he’d taken a fairly serious injury, something that nevertheless had a relatively low recovery time. So Batman and Nightwing never noticed that it caused him to, technically, die. And like hell Tim would tell them that, especially then.
The thing is that few missing months.
Tim has put together what happened in those months; he’d always kept copious notes for himself. And Bruce and Dick shouldn’t be bothered if he has a bit of amnesia.
After he “died” he was Robin - notes on his computer tell him what he did, notes in the Batcomputer fill him in on the cases. But the notes never refer to himself as Tim. And the tone and methods for what he did - well, they're like Tim’s. Tim can follow all the logic in them. They just seem… off somehow. 
But there’s no memory left to him, between that moment when his heart stopped in the Robin suit to a moment, months later, of waking up in the Medbay after Dick rescued him from the Drake household - targeted by a magic user with questionable morals who claims he was dead and wrong. 
So he was checked out by Constantine or Zatanna or someone and they confirmed that no, that’s not the case and that’s definitely Tim in the body.
Once they get there.
The thing is, the more Tim looked into it, the less he thinks that rogue magician was actually mistaken. He’s a little faster now, a little stronger. Sometimes it’s like he’s invisible, or hanging just a little too long in the air on the grapple - but in the next moment, that’s gone, and he’s just Tim again. Human Tim.
So a couple years later when Jason shows up, and there’s that Recognition - Dead to Dead - that he gets from no one else… the memories start filtering in. Now Tim has the memories of being - well - a ghost, in the Ghost Zone, desperately searching for a way back, a way home, filtering in.
Now for a couple years after that beatdown in Titan’s Tower - a beatdown that should have left him truly dead, or healing for months longer - but his recovery time has always been faster since those missing months, especially in the minutes and hours right after the injuries, where they’re easier to hide a bit. Now there’s a threat to all the ghosts in Gotham, and Jason and Tim wind up in deep.
Hunted by the Guys in White.
And Jason is angry because maybe he’s a weird undead reanimation of a corpse, but Tim sure isn’t and these bastards aren't touching his little brother. And Tim is all like “So there’s this thing that happened.” and he’s (falsely) convinced that if Jason just left him Jason would be okay and the GIW would stop hunting them.
And Jason is gobsmacked - and smacked with memories. Memories he didn’t… really have before, not through the Lazarus haze. Not really. Memories of being Tim.
And then the Dates slot together in his head and oh shit oh shit oh shit.
The day Tim died and something possessed him? Was the day Jason crawled out of his grave and was found, catatonic, on the streets.
And the day Tim regained control of his body.
Was the day Jason was shoved into the Lazarus Pit.
Fuck. He hurt his baby brother more than he ever realized. Fuck.
(They eventually figure out, maybe with a bit of help after they rescue some more experienced ghosts from the assholes in white, that Tim… really would have died fully that day, had Jason’s ghost not possessed his body, bringing it back to life, heart beating and lungs breathing. And he kept it breathing until Tim was called back to it. And the effort Jason put into that - breathing and beating and keeping that living spark alive - was the jump Jason’s own body needed to truly wake up from his grave.)
Yeah so anyway they both say to the GIW: no you don’t not MY fucking BROTHER you don’t. And so do all the other Bats. 
And the GIW is fucked.
#god this concept. this idea. i think about it. theres something so Profound here. living to keep someone else alive#taking their place in the desperate hope that doing so will mean they have a place left to regain#wanting so#so#so badly to be alive but not nearly as much as you want someone else#someone you never even got to meet but is family and that means something#you want that person to live#having everything you lost right there within your grasp but working yourself to the bone to make sure that someone else gets that#and knowing that only one of you can have it.#and FORGETTING THAT???????????#living again and being able to physically. tangibly see your efforts of keeping your little brother alive but you dont remember them.#hurting him and not realizing why it feels like tearing down every accomplishment youve made and he doesnt#he cant remember either. he isnt grateful for the years you struggled to keep his heard beating and his lungs breathing even when those#actions arent necessarily instinct anymore. sometimes your chest hurt and it took a moment to figure out if you forgot to breath or if#youre just terrified your work has been for nothinh#he isnt grateful. you arent grateful. he spits on your accomplishments by taking bad care of what youve spent so much time and effort into#keeping functioning and you spit in his when you shun him for getting what you fought so hard for him to keep in the first place.#and neither of you remember the kind of bond that forms when youve never met someone but they keep you alive. you know who they are and#every detail you could have gotten without directly interacting with them and you know them almost the same as you know yourself because#you were your brother for so long and he was never you even though he tried to be.#how do you think that makes them feel#isnt that something? doesnt that matter#(im so normal about this)
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honeytonedhottie · 18 days ago
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decentering men and recentering urself⋆.ೃ࿔*:・💅🏽💓
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the secret to decentering men and not having ur entire world revolving around them (bcuz it should be revolving around you, duh) is having a fulfilling life. it makes me ICK so bad when im watching a video or reading a post and im rly loving it, and then it'll find SOME way to make it revolve around men. like can we not?…💬🎀
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WHY WE CENTER THE OPPOSITE SEX ;
a lot of people find themselves centering their lives around the opposite sex in an attempt to fill a void within themselves. they do it because they aren't happy with themselves or their lives, or maybe its learned behavior. whatever the reason is, its NOT hot.
some things that someone who centers men might think are "oh my life is so boring, maybe it would be spiced up if i got with a man" or "maybe it'll bring some excitement into my day" like EUGHHH. obviously the solution is to find ways to make our lives fulfilling but how do we do that? and how do we get to the root cause and squash this self sabotaging behavior?
SELF AWARENESS ;
if u have nothing going on for u, ofc ur gonna be energetically desperate and accepting anything and EVERYTHING. practice self awareness and try to get to the root cause of why u center men through things like shadow work, therapy, or just straight up having an honest conversation with urself cuz i swear it helps.
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when you make the conscious effort to build ur dream life you'll notice that people that are on the same mindset as you will vibe with the REAL you. the need to fake/adjust urself to fit in with other people will dissipate because ur fitting into ur own standards and ur connections will be more meaningful because of it.
TAKE UR POWER BACK ;
no ones actions should ruin ur day or make u upset for more then a day (even less) cuz its YOUR world. 💕🍰
make time for YOU, doll. plan self care routines for urself every week. doing face masks, journalling, vision boarding, WHATEVER U LIKE TO DO. making time for urself reminds u that ur the main character of ur life so u dont have to settle for crumbs.
stop giving that power to someone else and dictate how u feel, NOT the actions of a significant other or the opposite sex or anybody. the reason why its important to make sure that ur the center of ur own life is so that you can be happy and fulfilled regardless of if there is a man or if there isnt a man present. so the objective is to decenter men -> and then put yourself at the center
GET A HOBBY ;
find something to make ur life fulfilling. pursue ur OWN interests and try out different hobbies if ur unsure of what ur interests are yet. cultivate ur world to the point where it GLEAMS with perfection and then do a little extra. build a life that u love so much that whether u get male attention or validation doesnt even matter cuz their opinions have little to no relevance 💀
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challenge yourself: next time you catch yourself thinking, ‘would a guy like this?’ flip it and ask urself "hey, do i like this?" start checking with yourself first instead of checking with others.
MAKING THE DECISION TO DECENTER MEN ;
decentering men simply means that ur deciding to no longer think, feel, act, dress, or plan ur life around a man or for the validation of any man…💬🎀
relationships will actually get BETTER when u decenter the opposite sex. cuz ur not looking for someone to compete with and ur whole on ur own. this sets the stage for balance and mutual respect and THATS hot.
you can be in a relationship and still decenter men. decentering men simply means that you are the priority, not the relationship. how can we tell if we're decentering men or not? here are a few questions to help you know if u are ->
if i did not care about looking good to the opposite sex what would i actually like to wear?
if i did not get married, how could i create the best and most abundant life for myself?
what hobbies/interests do i have that dont involve being around men/have male attention as a component of it?
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ssparksflyy · 11 months ago
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percy x zeus!gf hcs pls!!! and could i request it to be more on the funny side and how percy and zeus have beef but also get along cuz of gf
ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.
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percy jackson dating hcs ! ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
pairing: percy jackson x daughter of zeus!reader warning(s): little bit of swearing an: hi! ty for requesting <3 im literally not even funny but i hope u enjoy thissss! also theres a lotta taylor in this one 🤭
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BIG REPUTATION BIG REPUTATION OHHH YOU AND ME WE GOT BIG REPUTATIONS AHHH
it doesnt matter if youre a social butterfly or antisocial, everybody knew you and percy before you even started dating
so best believe when you actually got together, everybody ( literally ) cheered
but your flirting era had to be on of the most painful things to watch
seriously doesnt matter if you got game or not, percy is literally oblivious and a LOSERRRRR
im so sorry but somebody had to say it
bro had THE BIGGEST crush on you and whenever he'd try to like compliment you itd usually sound a little weird
tell me why he'd probably say something like
"i like your outfit today! that shirt for sure looks better with those jeans than it did with the shorts you wore 2 weeks ago :)"
lil creep
cue silena crying in the corner because she made a bet with beckendorf and it is NOT looking good for her right now
WE NEVER GO OUT OF STYLE.
you guys are iconic
like well-known power couple
I'D be scared to train with you guys cause like what do you MEAN i gotta go against the best swordsmen at camp and the daughter of the king of the gods??
no thank you, i choose life ♡
when people are asked to think of a couple, they immediately think of you guys
everybody loves you guys for real
if you ever broke up ( which you wont, percy would probably just say "no" ) itd probably leave everybody super torn
ITD BE LIKE IN GILMORE GIRLS WHEN LORELAI AND LUKE BROKE UP AND THE WHOLE TOWN LIKE TOOK SIDES
if you havent watched gilmore girls, that basically sums the situation up. lorelai is literally like the town's sweetheart and luke is the owner of the most popular diner in their small town ♡ very cutesy
so sorry for the spoiler
SALLY LOVESSS YOU
she's literally so sweet and treats you as if you were her own child
she'd definitely bake cookies when you first meet and if you liked them, you best believe you are being sent back to camp with a baggie full of cookies
cant love you as much as percy does though !!
youre literally his queen
( sorry i say literally a lot )
he treats you like royaltyyyyy
always opening doors for you, walks you everywhere, follows the sidewalk rule, everything ♡
when its raining, he picks you up bridal style and takes you wherever you need to go, so you dont get your shoes wet ♡♡
yall literally live in the rain tho
neither of you leave your cabin with an umbrella, the rain just gives you life
AND I DONT KNOW WHY BUT WITH YOU ID DANCE IN A STORM IN MY BEST DRESS FEARLESS
one time, you went out for a fancy dinner, got dressed up all nice very fancy very fancy
BUT you BOTH forgot to check the weather
and it ended up POURING rain by the time you got out of the restaurant
and i kid you not
percy just grabs you by the hand, leads you out into the rain, and begins to dance with you.
no coverage, no music, no fucks given. just him and his girl.
he treasures that moment forever and ever
all the gods looked down at you from olympus and melted
neither of you care if you're disrespecting your fathers, you spend almost every night together ♡
percy is absolutely a big cuddler
literally just adores the feeling of you close to him
oh lord save him his drug is his baby he'll be using for the rest of his life
falling asleep together is so easy, you just melt into each other's touch
waking up is what's harder
neither of you want to leave the bed, and neither of you want the other person to leave the bed either.
percy's the typa guy to just have a sweet little conversation with you before he gets up for the day
you always get a good morning ( and a good night! ), then percy asks you what's on your schedule for the day ( as if he hasn't memorized it by now ), and what you wanted for breakfast that morning
he simply cannot get up without it
he's also the type of guy to just whisper sweet nothings into your ear if he wakes up before you ♡
he just goes on a little ramble about how pretty you look when your sleeping, even though you are sleeping while he's 'talking' to you
sorry where was i?
ZEUS.
the bastrard HATES percy and percy HATES the bastard
theyve literally been beefing since he was 12 years old
so best believe when zeus found out his daughter was dating this son of poseidon??? oo he was PISSEDDD.
poseidon is literally so chill with you. like he just cares that percy is happy. seriously doesn't care about who your dad is. if anything, he already sees you as family
zeus holds back everything in him to not kill percy on the spot every time you make out
he doesn't do it because he knows you'd probably walk to the underworld to get him back and hades would go feral if he got another orpheus & eurydice
percy gives zero fucks. he flips off the sky every time he walks outside
percy is so sweet and caring and kind and shows your father such respect like hes literally an angel 😇😇
i wouldn't say that he starts like actually respecting him, but he tries not to offend him as often as usual, just for you ♡
in the scenario that you'd have to make a trip to olympus, percy and zeus put on their big boy pants and try to tolerate each other
hera dont like you or percy bro she's literally just there
its okay though, you both despise her for kidnapping percy and wiping his memory ♡♡♡
JASON AND THALIA HOWEVER
thalia would definitely be the dramatic dad that zeus cant be (in person, at least)
whenever she and the hunters stay at camp she ( jokingly ) tells percy
"jackson, i want her home by NINE PEE EM. no later. i expect you won't be drinking, and you will be TAKING CARE OF HER. in the instance that i hear you DONT, i think you'll be taking a second trip across the river styx, you hear me?"
in like an sergeant voice and everything
percy plays along with it and salutes her going "yes ma'am!"
jason thinks you are so cute together
since you were at camp when the whole switcheroo thing happened, jason knew you first, and you were instantly best buddies
you told him about percy, and once he met him, he was happy to find out he was exactly like you described him
jason and thalia are ur #1 supporters ♡
in summary, alexa play that should be me
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p4r4syte · 5 months ago
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its boiling hot rn so heres some lost boy hcs. what i think theyd do/be like in summer (mildly suggestive?)
pls add comments, ill add to it :3
David :
•avoids everyone. i know vampires are cold blooded but no doubt these mfs get agitated during summer. David the worst. he’d be sat there, coat discarded with a pissed off expression. still smoking. god forbid he doesnt smoke
•will even get pissed off with Feeding Time™️ because the bloods warm so he’d just disappear for days on end. hiding away. basically hibernating
•Is Extremely Snappy. he will go for anyones throat, doesnt even matter if youre together (god forbid mates), he’ll be avoiding you just in case but will Bark at the boys given any chance
•”he wouldnt hurt a fly” HE WOULD!!!!!! Fuck That Fly Do Not Invade My Personal Space
•will only calm down once hes cooler, he would genuinely have to piss off to the sea (or i imagine the cave has a watered in area) ((only dwayne knows about it but he let david in on it)) or hes sulking in a damp, desolate part of the cave. just waiting for the summer to end
•only one of the boys that can speak to david during this time is dwayne because of how hes empathetic towards his Boys. Marko And Paul Will Be DropKicked On Sight.
•sleeps upside down, near the darkest most secluded park of the cave. there isnt any air, theres no breeze. he doesnt care, he just wants to, fester. Leave Him To Fester
Marko :
•becomes more feral than he ordinarily is
•he Will be dangling from the ceiling, trying to catch any breeze that rolls in
•he will also be chilling with the pigeons, they find the coolest places in the cave to rest so Why Not?
•the summer heat will also be giving him unneeded energy. he WILL be playfighting with paul and then laying there overheating and gets pissed off once paul tried to interact with him again. Cant You See Im Warm? Jesus.
•will find endless cool drinks on the boardwalk once it cools down during night. itll give him no sustenance and he’ll be pissed off that he has a headache tomorrow but. Mmm Slushie :3
•still eats hot food and will complain about how hes warmer now than before he ate the food. yes he knew beforehand. no he wont stop. let him complain
•him and paul sit shirtless in the centre part of the cave, eating ice creams and then getting pissed off once theyve eaten them all (or theyve melted)
•calmer than david, less irritated than dwayne, less energetic than paul
•sleeps in a random, small part of the cave because the air rushes straight through (he followed the pigeons)(he learns many things from them, this is one of the many great things he found out)
Paul :
•please calm down. its Hot. Get The Memo
•continues his antics, just with, less clothes.
•the ONLY motherfucker thats actively trying to interact with everyone else
•he doesnt get it, god bless. not a single thought in that head x
•is also smoking. sat on that fountain (the cold marble against his back), trying to yell to the others (they ignore him) speaker blasting music (its pissing everyone off)
•the only one that actually leaves the cave (until he convinces marko to get slushes with him. then hes no longer going alone)
•a nuisance. a pure fucking mosquito of a man. he’d be stuck to you if he could, please don’t let him you dont know where hes been (various ponds) (hes upside down in a shrub) (dont help him)
•hes a boombox blaster, weedsmoking, white rum drinker in summer. or whatever he can get his hands on. but best believe he’s living it up even if he doesnt make it out the cave most nights
•sleeps drunk in the fountain, naked. Hey, Its Cool. What Do You Want From Me?
Dwayne :
•is the only one who Actually attempts to cater to the rest
•he knows exactly how everyone is and as much as he Needs To Rot too, he needs to check on everyone first
•only person hes really checking on is david lets be honest
•after finding david and just, checking, he’ll find his own section of the cave. not too far, within ear distance of Everyone in the cave
•he’ll just rest there for a while, just dangling, all sweaty
•sometimes he has enough energy to chill with paul and marko but quickly loses it after a while. paul is Way too much for him in this heat. Hes Markos Issue Now :)
•he is the only one that will remind the other boys that they need to eat. it may be hot, but you still need to eat. cue moody david, hyper paul, sweaty and overstimulated marko and coping mother dwayne
•doesnt speak to anyone, literally not at all, because hes just Too Hot™️ so he’ll just pull your hand to what he wants, guiding you to what he needs
•sleeps alone, in the centre on the cave. just above where they all gather, so he can hear everyone but is just far enough away to get peace. oh, hes also naked.
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noellefan101 · 3 months ago
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Yo I would like more streamer AU with Firefly and Jing Yuan and however you deem worthy, please and thank you.
Love your work.🥰
omg thank youuu imma go cry in my corner now
anyway... heh....
Characters: Firefly, Jing Yuan, Welt, March 7th x reader
Warnings: yes
Summary: your princess(or partner if you wanna be boring) is a streamer, a popular one at that. this is a fic about: how their chat finds out that you are dating, how they treat you off-stream and on-stream/do they treat you differently
Note: i cant set my mind to anything so this is delivered really late and im so sorry if its also shit. that previous sentence was written about a month ago, maybe even more, so sorry. and yes i know some of it seems rushed and out of character so for that i apologize, love you tho
thank you @ogstarlight for sending the request
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Firefly
How chat found out: She blushes at the mention of your name, doesnt even matter if its actually about you or not, i'd imagine even when she is SAM you can see the blush. Could even be an npc that has the same name as you, and she just started blushing because she thought of you. So its very obvious that she has some sort of crush on a person with that name, or has a lover maybe, the chat would be supportive nonetheless.
But it definitely wasn't her that got you introduced to her viewers, Kafka is to blame, but Silver Wolf was dragged into it a little much bit. so long story short, Kafka had gotten your number and called you saying Firefly needed to tell you something, and dont worry she isnt streaming(liar). So you had walked into her room confused not knowing that she was actually live and everyone now knew you. She blushed so hard i think she may have exploded.
"awww, what a cute little sweetie pie" -Kafka "honestly, shes more like a simp" -Silver Wolf 🧍🏻-Blade
On-Stream: Blushes even more when you're actually there with her, and being watched by so many people. If you kissed her on camera she cant show her face for another five days or she'll immediately go into tomato mode, absolute cutie. She doesnt treat you much different other than maybe a little less affectionate
Off-Stream: More affectionate with you, even around the other stelleron hunters. She's definitely less nervous when you're not both being viewed by hundreds of people, and she can kiss you without worrying about anything so thats nice. Also likes for you to just cuddle while she is SAM because she likes to hold you.
Jing Yuan
How chat found out: He would tell them all about you if they asked. Though they have to ask the correct questions since he would still like to keep you to himself, and would hate sharing you. And definitely hates sharing things about you when you arent there to say it yourself. So his usual responses to questions like 'who's your partner?' and 'you're just lying as to not seem as single' will be very vague descriptions of you and your relationship.
However, if you give him permission to share an achievement of yours, whether new or old, he will be talking about you non-stop for an hour or two given the chance. So safe to say his chat knew of you from the start and only waited to put a face to Jing Yuan's "amazing, lovely, beautiful, strong, sweet, and loving" partner.
On-Stream: Has fallen fully asleep on you before, his whole body on yours while you tried your best to either wake him up or stop the stream. He basically doesnt care what they think, he will be affectionate with you, to the point Yanqing told him to get off you just a little. Poor boy said the wrong thing because he just got even more touchy. Will kiss you whenever to the point his viewers get tired of his affectionate nature more than you could ever be.
Off-Stream: Literally no difference except maybe less jealous and a tiny but more suggestive. He'll kiss you a little deeper when its just you two, get a little closer, and touch you in a little more private places. It's barely a difference if you look at it over all, but it feels a little more personal compared to when he's live in front of a few thousand people.
Welt
How chat found out: actually just yaps about animation stuff and shows he likes, maybe plays games with March and Stelle if they really get him interested. But I'd imagine he also talks about some of the astral express, like how Stelle needs to stop digging in every trash can in her eyesight. Or how Dan Heng needs to sleep more because his eyebags are darker than his past. Random stuff that happens in his life but also a lot of history.
But of course he would talk about you as well, it can't be helped, though he would hold back more if you expressed that you weren't ok with that. He talks about you a lot safe to say, and he likes talking about all your interests and stuff you do, dates you go on ext. He would never share everything dont worry, just quite a lot since after he starts he finds it hard to stop. A case of they already know you to the point they could know things about you that you don't.
On-Stream: Very sweet as usual, but not very affectionate. A kiss to the cheek here and there, or maybe even sitting quietly on his lap on occasion. Nothing much other than talking with you and a tiny bit of physical affection, mostly loving you in quality time and showing interest in things you like.
Off-Stream: Way more affectionate, even around the crew, he just feels more safe around them overall since anyone could watch him. He can surprisingly talk even more when he isnt live, just the two of you laying in bed listening to each other talk about the little things and some very random things. I'm very sure you've had a 6 hour phone call multiple times just talking to each other with no break
March 7th
How chat found out: She shows them so many photos that she's taken and probably takes some during stream if shes doing IRL content. So safe to say you've been seen more than you think you have, whether she intended to show you or not. But of course you could be seen as a good friend who she likes taking photos with and of, but it is clear that you appear more than her other friends like Dan Heng, Caleus and her masters . She has more photos of you than you would even believe, and you have barely seen 15% of them and she has more than one folder just for pictures of you. (there will be less of you fully in them with your knowledge if you are camera shy, just know she takes a lot of photos anyway)
But this all made it very unsurprising when you one day walked in on her streaming, asking for something and curiously adding "love" to the sentence. Safe to say she was teased by her viewers for a few months, for both taking so many pictures of you and blushing every time you were present.
On-Stream: Loves to hug you a lot, also cracks even more dumb jokes when you're around. Kisses you, but retreats and goes out of view so no one can see how much shes blushing. The kisses shown on camera are more of a peck than anything, a nice big kiss on the cheek if she tries to be teasing or cheeky.
Off-Stream: Way better at actually kissing you properly on the mouth for once, maybe due to her being a bit shy(not that she will admit to it, without a bit of gentle pushing). Cuddles.. Lots of cuddles, no matter what. As long as its just the two of you, there will be lots of affection, much more than if it was for others to see.
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thx for reading, and yes i know i have been neglecting the genshin streamer au but my mind just isnt there idk ToT, luv ya- Masterlist
You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts
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oceanwithouthermoon · 15 days ago
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okok let me finally do my analysis on kusuke and makoto parallels like ive talked about a thousand times (obvious warning that im gonna talk about incest, and also that im gonna be talking about a gag manga in a serious light so if that upsets you just go away ✌️)... yippee, perverted older brothers with unhealthy dynamics with their powerful younger siblings analysis!!
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the most obvious parallel is in their interactions with the others sibling. they literally have the same exact meeting, they both go from being fake nice to "my sibling is special and youre not worthy of them"
not included in pictures but also note that kusuo got rid of makoto by calling on kokomi and kokomi got rid of kusuke by calling on her fans
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"the second hes distracted, LETS GO"
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"we're the only ones who can match up to each other"
kusukes idea of kusuo being inhuman also influences the way this is treated i think- he tells kokomi that marrying a beautiful man will suit her best and that kusuo is above that kind of thing (aka actual romantic and aesthetic attraction), and it seems that being the only ones who can measure up to each other is probably the closest, in his eyes, that kusuo can get to love (confirmed in my opinion by the marriage/engagement symbolism a few pictures down⬇️). thats why he thinks theyre the only ones worthy of each other even if he doesnt see kusuo in the exact same way as makoto sees kokomi. if that makes any sense :p these are obviously already parallel on surface level, but id say theyre even more similar if you look deeply into it
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"i know everything youre thinking" and "everyone else looks like monkeys to me"
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associating their sibling with heaven/god
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a certain fixation on their sibling's body... top two are specifically them trying to see their sibling naked without consent
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? not sure how to describe this. implications of engagement/marriage? this use of an explicitly romantic symbol actually confuses me in kusukes case but thats not really relevant here...
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theyre the reason their sibling cant relax or be themself even at home... also note that kusuo specifically says that kusuos masochism (which i guess in some contexts masochism can be non-sexual but in this situation, since kusuke is canonically a pervert and there are several implications and allusions to sexual pleasure, it obviously means he gets SEXUAL pleasure from pain/humiliation) is the main reason he doesnt like him. likewise, kokomi is bothered by makotos overprotective and overbearing nature, though unfortunately she doesnt seem to be aware of his sister complex and thinks hes just being an annoying big brother.
not necessarily something that can be captured in a picture but theres also the fact that they both have pretty perfect lives but are still obsessed with their sibling and only their sibling, its all they really care about and their entire lives depend on them.
makoto is extremely attractive, charming when hes trying to be, and is a famous actor... he clearly gets girls. but he doesnt want any of them because hes stuck in his obsession with kokomi, shes the only girl he wants and its ruined his perception of other girls. he believes hes the only one that can be right for kokomi and touch her, and that likewise kokomi is the only girl he can be with. her presence dictates his life, he skips work just to follow her around and prevent her from getting involved with other guys. we only see maybe a few sentences from him where he isnt talking about kokomi, even when hes on tv.
kusuke is an attractive and charming genius, easily pulls girls, cambridge graduate, and is the favorite child in his family. but none of that matters, it only sets him apart from other humans and gives him a skewed perspective of anyone who isnt kusuo. he believes kusuo is the only person he can get that sadomasochistic pleasure from, and kusuo is the reason he developed it in the first place and he specifically seeks him out and coerces him into it. he really only cares about his family, theyre the only people in the world that are worth anything in his eyes, and his only interactions with anyone else have been using them as tools to get to kusuo. his life goal is (or was, before the end of cat tank arc) defeating kusuo. he has cameras in his familys house that hes presumably constantly watching, implied by him being ALREADY watching before his parents even called him about kusuos limiter.
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3liza · 8 months ago
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the other thing about duvets is i dont like that theyre a big pillowcase. this is more trouble than its worth imo. i think duvet covers should actually be two separate pieces, or one long piece in a taco format, and you just spread it out on the bed or floor, spread out the duvet on top, and THEN fasten the top of the duvet cover closed with either buttons or a concealed zipper along the edge. zipper texture unpleasantness could easily be tucked inside a padded border so it doesnt scratch you at night.
duvet covers were introduced to the usa in the 1960s as a part of the "scandinavian" interior decor movement during midcentury modern (they were brought from Sweden, so not actually scnadinavian, but americans dont know the difference and we dont care [edit: i am being informed sweden is actually considered part of scandinavia, i had been previously misinformed]), apparently from the Habitat store in London. i thought Biba was involved for some reason but I may be confusing a bit of documentary i watched with something else. in the documentary, the older lady they were interviewing who used to work at the department store that she claimed popularized the duvwet (either Habitat or Biba) talked about how the sales girls were trained to "demonstrate" the "convenience" of the duvet vs the traditional British method of quilt+sheets, and she remarked she got so good at it she could put the duvet in the cover in about 30 seconds. however when she tried to demonstrate for the presenter she got completely flummoxed by the damned thing. it was at that point i knew duvets were a mistake
anyway im finding some interesting gadgets for securing duvets rn, the one that looks least ugly is a thing that looks like a fabric-covered button that snaps into another button using a tack that pierces the duvet and cover layers. the other solutions also seem fine but are all ugly plastic doohickeys that would bother me on an aesthetic basis. the tack would probably damage the fabric but if you're not using your nice linens i bet it doesn't matter much, especially if the duvet cover is a rustic textile of some kind
the wikipedia article about the duvet is very interesting. i especially liked the part about how previous attempts to introduce it to england were failures
one of the other home bedding issues in the usa is that home washers and dryers and apartment washers and dryers are generally not big enough to effectively wash a down duvet or a quilt thats larger than about a Full, depending on thickness. this bothers me. feather down is especially irritating in this respect because it will get mildewy instantly if it isnt bone dry immediately after laundering. mentioning Sweden yet again, a friend showed me her shared laundry facilities in her Swedish apartment once and they DID have large, industrial machines that could easily take a duvet. she said this was typical. america continues to be difficult to live in for no good reason. its like literalyl everything you do here is 160% harder and more expensive than any other "comparable" country
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where-does-the-heart-lie · 3 months ago
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totally forgot what you think of shippy stuff but im gonna ask you anyway !!! do u think sabo n law would be friends ??! more than that ?! cause they have like . . . one arc together plus stampede and they dont seem to hate each other so !! im curious of your thoughts 🎤
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Their dynamic for me is kinda just like “this guy is my little brother’s friend” kind of feel and thats really it for me. Like ifykyk what that dynamic is but for me they just,,,, theyre too similar to eachother to be much more than that in my opinion. I feel like Sabo naturally drifts to people who are very different than him, if that makes sense.
I think all the ship art I’ve seen of them is really funny though. Like they have a lot of comedic potential, I love people putting Law in Situations and that man is just doomed to be the StraightMan for the rest of his unintentionally sexy life.
And also like, to get into law’s world you really have to push and shove and claw your way in there, and Sabo is way too busy trying to get tf outta wherever he is to do that for law.
Now that im thinking about it though, i wish we knew how sabo and ace met. Cuz like luffy really had to push and shove and claw his way into Ace’s life, so i wonder if sabo had to do the same. Thats really besides the point though because i wouldnt really compare Sabo being completely alone and friendless when he was 5 and trying to find even a single friend in Ace, to Sabo in his adult years who grew up without a single memory of being alone and being constantly surrounded by people who love him.
Sabo isnt like Luffy is with making friends. Luffy has had multiple points in his life where hes had to really force people into friendship to have someone, anyone, in his life. This naturally is because he hates being alone, mostly stemming from just truly no one being there for him to connect with. He’s been woefully devoid of peers in his life. So for Luffy, having to brute force his way into people’s lives is just par for the course for him, which of course is how he became Law’s friend (self proclaimed)
But Sabo, with how he was raised post amnesia, he was never lonely. So in my opinion he wouldnt really have that drive to force his way into people’s lives like his little brother does. He wouldnt have that insecurity that Luffy has/had to make him like that.
And Law….. he’s had everyone he’s ever loved ripped away from him time and time again. To say being Law’s friend is extremely fucking hard is an understatement to say the extreme least. Sabo is also not the kind of guy to do things for people. Like for example Bartolomeo drowning in the colosseum as sabo destroyed the arena and just telling him “youre a man, do it yourself.” And then two seconds later to his woman friend he’s like “since when can you not take care of things yourself?” Like he’s very You Gotta Meet Him Halfway If Youre Gonna Meet Him At All. (‘Woman friend’ being koala, of course, but i just wanna emphasize those two points because truly it doesnt matter what your gender is or even if youre a close friend, that ‘do it yourself’ is rated E for Everybody)
Law needs to be broken in with a semi truck to be his friend, not even mentioning trying to be his lover and i really dont think sabo would put in the effort to do either of those things. I honestly think law shouldn’t be in any romantic relationship for a very long time because of how unbelievably traumatized and broken and ruined he is especially with certain recent events. So i really have a hard time shipping him with anyone even though theres lots of characters ripe for the picking.
TDLR: in my eyes, neither of them would put in the effort of trying to be anything with eachother and are kinda just on good terms because of a mutual friend.
By Every Means Necessary though, please keep shipping them and drawing ship art of them, i feel like the stuff i see with them is so creative and i encourage you to keep drawing those tragic men making out.
If you have any other thoughts or any ship/friendship propaganda for me though lmk please. This is kinda one of those ships where i really dont much understand it beyond The Bit. I’m just not the kind of person to really like ships without seeing a direct and canon dynamic between them I can pull from. Like even if its a negative dynamic i can still get into it but like these two truly have Nothing. So by all means, help me understand.
Thank you for coming my ted talk and thank you for the question, i really had to think hard about this and it was a lot of fun coming to the conclusion i came to.
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