#like. be normal about the fact that im upset and hurt and angry and hurt

[nyxisnotafictive]

a bit sorry to the folks who really didnt get involved with my situation at all and are just cut off because it would be too awkward and weird to hang out

though not a lot of effort was coming my way anyway if im honest, with maybe one exception- and even then i was sort of given up on. maybe my fault for not keeping up with what i wanted to keep up with. maybe my fault for not being able to put *my* effort into certain things

i dont know. im going to be hurt about this for a while because it's one wound reopening, and opening up wider, and splitting into so many other wounds, and combining with all kinds of other wounds

it's just hard to think about how no one ever wants to fight for me. no one wants to strive to do better for me. no one wants to askcme to stick around. it fucking sucks man

[i-yap]

Literally loving ur writing so far Bestie 🥺💙would I be able to req how the batboy would react to a fwb/situationship vibe with reader? Like they have feelings but reader is scared of commitment

Thank youuu! Im gonna be really honest, I don't think a lot of the batboys would be okay with a situationship sort of deal.. and I don't write romantic damian( at least not yet) .

Batboys x reader- Situationship headcanons

Dick grayson-

I can see a teammate or someone he works close with as a detective turns into a night of passion and now both of them cant go back to normal situation .

He says he is okay with it, and prolly keeps up that act for 4-5 months?

I think you would end the situationship. Dick is a really sought-after guy and one night he Is just upset with you about something. So when another girl flirts with him rather than his usual " I'm sorry there's someone else I'm into" line he flirts back. You see red

you either walk away angry/upset or pull him away. He follows you to an alley or a secluded area of the party.

"why are you even upset, you are the one who doesn't want us to be official?" "well that's not because I don't want you, that's because I'm scared of intimacy"

He would be really understanding once you explain your issues and fear of commitment. You guys come up with a better set of guidelines for your arrangement and he sticks to it.

if you want an open relationship, he is down. if you want to be exclusive but not yet in a relationship relationship he would be okay.

But dick does want to get married someday and have kids. So this arrangement wont last for long. he will try his hardest to help you overcome that fear of commitment but if you cant then its gonna end someday. And he makes that clear to you from the start. all cards are on the table always and communication is key and he makes sure no one gets hurt( or at least tries avoiding it as much as he can)

Jason todd

wont do it

maybe a bestfriend turned situationship scenario

you are his sanctuary , his home a safe place to come back to. and after everything he has been through he struggles with so many insecurities and he deserves a domestic life.

the moment he sees you with another guy, even if it just flirting, he is out the door. He already believes no one loves him and now you don't even want to commit to him? is he not enough?

he gets that you have issues and no one understands issues better than him. But he is in so much pain already that its best for the both of you to not get together at all.

even the fact that you from the very start didn't want to commit makes him get all in his head and even if you get ready to commit later on , he wont be able to forget that fact and will keep thinking you'll leave him or he isn't the one

he also reads a lot of classic literature and romance in books is what he wants. the concept of a situationship doesn't make sense to him and he just needs some good old domestic loving.

Tim drake

best at it

you guys are young, he is so busy. he is totally cool with a teenage dirtbagy relationship

lets meet under the bridge , get high and makeout type of shit,

Partners in crime / bestfriends that hookup

he loves it, its perfect for him

there are no expectations no responsibilities, you guys are just what the other needs . no stupid anniversaries and big fancy dinners

tim gives very "eat the rich" vibes so this situationship is another way for him to be a little rebellious .

Very very teenage dirtbag- going to grocery shops at 2am and sitting on the dirty floor trying all 20 types of slushies

spray painting the really big asshole companies buildings, going to huge rallies without having any idea what you are rallying for.

stealing the batmobile and then crashing it

the adrenaline makes you hot and bothered and it leads to more. and once its over you go to a shady Chinese place and tip 200 on a 40 dollar meal.

he gets you, you get him and you don't need labels to show your love to each other. and who needs someone else when you have everything you could want within each other? and then someday when you're ready and if you are ready, you can always make it official. its all up to you two , fuck the labels

[notlhecxzsa]

Sorry - Scarlett Johansson

Warnings: Angsty, slightly mean Scarlett (she's a literal baby at the end!), sad reader

Sum: Aftermath of the fight between Y/n and Scarlett

Scarlett JohanssonXFem!Reader

°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°

No one's POV:

You didn't remember the reason why the two of you started to fight anymore. Hours and hours of shouting here and there with so many different topics coming up in every seconds. You just confronted her on being so busy this days, i mean, you know and understand her line with work, but this past few weeks you felt as if you're just a chore for her.

Why is it so hard for her to understand where you are coming from? Because as the shouting gone by, she's flipping the table, and she's coming at you, saying things that's not true, which really hurt you. While Scarlett, is just too tired and exhausted from work, that her anger got triggered when you confronted her, and became too blinded on where you are coming from.

They said that these things, the fightings, is normal in a relationship, but it gets really tiring, so after the last sentence she shouted at you which is "Fuck, why can't you just shut the fuck up?! Can't you understand it? I'm working, and i've been busy!". You just shut your mouth, and made your way to the kitchen.

She made you felt as if you're in the wrong, as if you're the wrong one here, while all you just wanted is a free time from her, it may just be an hour or two, you didn't really care, because all you wanted was her, but now, she took the confrontation the other way.

So, currently, you're here at the kitchen, cooking dinner, while she went upstairs to take a very much needed shower. Even though you're very upset at her, the care you have for her still didn't go away, and the fact that she's tired and exhausted from work, makes you feel like you should still make her feel all better and cared for, that's how you love her.

Now, back to Scarlett, as she take a shower, her mind went back on earlier moments, analyzing and calculating your words, and her words, trying to make out on who's truly wrong. A fight that started from a small conversation. As her mind became wider and more clearer, she realized that she's the one who's in fault.

Because, as much as she don't want to believe it, she been so busy, so busy that her busyness makes her almost forgot about you. Her heart swell in guiltiness, and regrets because of the things she said to you. It almost made her angry with herself, on how dumb she is for not seeing through you, and for not understanding you well.

So, after she's done and all clean up, she quickly turned the shower off, then drying off and putting a much more comfortable clothes on. Then going down the stairs to look for her girl, only to be met by the smell of her favorite food. All she wants to do is to hug you, say sorry, and to whisper comforting words. Her wandering stopped until she found you in the kitchen, and only now did she notice that you're wearing her clothes, from head to toe, it's all of her clothes, it only made her realized more of how much you have really missed her.

And god, don't you look so cute and adorable wearing her clothes that are bigger than you.

Calmly making her way over to you, stoping when she's just behind you, peaking over on what you are cooking, as her arms found its way to your waist, pulling you closer to her until your back touches her front. Even though you don't really want to be near her at the moment, you just let her.

"That smells amazing, my love." She whispered lovingly in your ear, but you made no move and just continued cooking.

Hmp, she deserves this.

"I'm sorry, baby..." Once again, she was met by silence. "I'm really really really sorry, i should've known, im just really tired and exhausted that's why i snapped out, i don't even know where the words i said came from. I'm really sorry, please forgive me." She begged, hiding her face on the crook of your neck, as her hands snaked inside the shirt you are wearing, her fingertips dancing around you tummy soothingly.

She kept begging and apologizing, showering you with kisses, attention, and sweet words. But, you made no action on paying any mind to her.

Now, it's time to eat, but you're still ignoring her, you just eat, while she stared at you. You're halfway, and her stare is really bothering you, plus, the food is getting cold, and ofcourse, you being the caring girlfriend, and with the looks she's giving you, you know she won't eat until you talk to her.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Your voice is calm, it's not as warm as it used to be, but it's not that cold either.

"I am." She squeaked out, she sounds like she's fighting her tears, making you look up.

"Then what are you waiting for? The food will get cold." You said, pointing at the food.

"Talk to me, then I'll eat." She said, her voice is now breaking, her heart cannot contain the pain of you, ignoring her as if she's not there.

"Am i not talking to you right now?" You ask with a raise of an eyebrow, as if it's the most obvious thing. She shook her head, and you see tears started to brim out of her eyes, making you feel bad for the way you're treating her.

Damn, she's so sorry already, why can't you just accept it then move on. But, you want her to feel how you felt, you have valid reasons.

"I'm saying sorry to you, and you won't even acknowledge me." She said, which came out as a whisper as tears fell out of her eyes, which she quickly wipe, then lean back on her chair, looking forward at the plate, avoiding your gaze.

And now, if you would look at your peripheral vision, Scarlett looks like a kid who is being scolded by her mother for not wanting to eat.

You almost felt bad just by looking at her, but it's making you laugh at the same time for how she is acting. Such a baby.

"Okay, sorry, i just- i just thought you would understand what i felt and realized what you did, which i think you do. I wil accept your apology, only if you promise me that you won't do that again." You said now more softly and warm, just how she loves.

"I promise, im really sorry, i really promise to have more time with you, and give you more attention that you deserve." She said, looking at you pleadingly and convincingly, then reaching out to hold you hand.

"Look, im not asking for so much, because i know you're a very busy person, i knew that from the first day i met you. But, an hour or two with you is enough, that's all im asking." You said, softly.

It makes her heart clench on how you're very desperate on having her by your side, it's just a very simple thing that she can't give you, a very simple, but a very heart-warming gesture. You just want her, while all she does is work.

"I'm really sorry, baby..." She started, as she reach over to pull you in her embrace. "I promise, i will give you more than just an hour or two, okay? I will take a break from work, and then we'll go on a vacation, just the two of us, how about that? Would you like that, my love?" She ask softly, hooking her index finger on your chin, making you look up at her.

"You don't have to do that, im just asking yo-" You tried to reason, not wanting to be a burden or anything to stop your girlfriend from doing her work, but you were cut off by Scarlett.

"Shhh, i want to, okay? I want to make it up to you, im just giving you what you deserve, plus we would really need that, i've been busy, and work is really hectic, plus, we would have much more time with each other. Work is nearly done anyways. Pleaseeee?" She begged as she gave you a puppy eyes at the end, making you sigh in defeat.

I mean, the idea of going on a vacation, just the two of you, no works, or anything that can interrupt the both of you, is a good thing right? No, it's amazing.

"Okay, okay, fine. We'll go." You said, and smiled softly at her, which she returned with much more big smile. She lean in to kiss you, and you met her halfway.

The kiss is deep, full of love and passion, but before it can lead to something more, you quickly pull away, much to her dismay.

"Okay, okay, stop, let's eat." You said, chuckling when she groaned.

"Why do we even need to eat?! We're just gonna poop it out anyways." She whined, making you slap her playfully.

"Hey, we're infront of the food." You scolded her while laughing, which made her laugh too, and said a small 'sorry'.

Before she started to eat, she softly capture your face with one hand, and gave your pink plump lips a multiple pecks, that you needed to stop her because she doesn't want to stop.

"Okay, big baby, you're being too spoiled with so many kisses already." You teased, and she pouted, but it quickly go away when you gave her a kiss.

"Now, go on, eat up." You said, which she quickly obliged.

"I love you." She said lovingly, before shoving a food in her mouth.

"I love you too."

°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°~^

[lordfreg]

Hi genuine just question here

As a fellow selfshipper, idk if this makes me a hypocrite, too emotional or both but is it normal to feel a bit,,,idk hurt when you see your fav character get shipped with someone else?? /gen q

Im not doing this to hate on you i love you art and your sona is adorable, but i just didn't know who else is ask ig sorry for bothering 😅

awwww thanks!!!! also thabk you for asking ME of all people but I'm here to help!

Of course it's not hypocritical or too sensitive to see another ship (in my case head cannoned "incorrectly"/misrepresented)

It's completely normal! In fact, your brain literally cannot tell the difference between fictional characters and real people, and seeing them paired with someone else evokes the same feelings of jealousy and heartbreak as someone actually cheating on you.

there's absolutely no wrong way to feel about your f/o (fictional other) and there's absolutely no wrong way to express that.

Here's a way I've learned to cope with other self ships, and things; it's like spiderverse, each person's head cannons/ship/insert/au/whatever creates a new reality for that universe, spawning new versions of the characters. Your f/o and this other person's ship aren't the same person, because in this universe (your au/self insert) they love YOU, nobody else.

Example, my small meme art for thesweaterrat, it was just my way of coping with the fact that we're both Donnie simps. They're different donnies; stylily, culturally and even in height

I even used different brushes for them!

The point is, that in every other universe, your f/o is someone else, and in that 1/1000th chance, they found you. And that's absolutely beautiful

denture to talk about my issues for a moment⬇️

There might be things that you genuinely don't like about your f/o, but changing that makes them a different person. For me it's Donnie and lying, it makes me angry that he can't lie well, but if I were to change that then I would change him

When I see Donnie misrepresented or acting a way I know he wouldn't, it puts me off, and I typically avoid Donnie content on tumblr for that reason.

Of course I'm happy to support any and all self shippers (NOT THE WEIRD ONES 💢💢💢), but there is a lingering tad of uncomfortabness and jealousy.

Even I have a hard time sticking to my 'spiderverse' thing because some people present their head cannons like the truth and I just

It just sort of upsets me but that's just me

ANYWAY thank you for reading this!!!! >_< if you have any s/is or sonas I'd love to see them!!! Here's some things for banners/master post stuff

(Self shipping pride flag)

okay byeeeeee :3

[kayentokk]

IT’S HERE IT’S FINALY HERE AND IM SO SORRY 🫶🏽🫶🏽 I don’t know, it’s like I was in a drought or something. So forgive me and here is your long awaited request.

Forgetting your anniversary with the MHA boys

Request; “I would love to see reactions to forgotten anniversaries”

A/N; Of course, that’s a good idea! Thanks for the request. 💕

Pariring; Bakugo Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Kirishima Eijiro, & Kaminari Denki

Contains; comfort, kisses, apologies, big babies

wc; 481

Bakugo Katsuki

You might think he’s angry

Who’re you kidding he is angry

Jaw clenched

Eyebrows furrowed

But he’s more upset than anything

Honestly

He knows you’ve been under a lot of stress lately

Things have been busy with him rising in the ranks

And increased crime

He knows it was an accident

That you didn’t mean to forget

But it still hurts 

And you immediately apologize 

He just brushes it off

He had a dinner planned

Which y’all can still go but the mood is kinda tense and awkward

You literally have to comfort this big baby

He’s all pouty and all shady

Trying to make the whole thing a joke but not really

Bcuz guarantee he meant when he said 

“Can’t believe you’d jus’ forget about the best thing ever”

All under his breath 

You cuddle him after the dinner

And…give him a gift

Of some sort

Midoriya Izuku

🥹

So uhm

He gets a little nerve wracked

Cuz like what now

But I honestly think he takes it better than most

Because he’s so selfless

And like not that he puts his own feelings on the back burner

But right now he’s more concerned about you

Cuz like what happened?

Why did you forget?

He knows you’re normally good with things like this so it’s odd

Maybe too much stress

So honestly you don’t even have time to feel bad

Or say sorry

Cuz he’s already coddling you

And telling you it’s okay

Super understanding about it

Kirishima Eijiro

☹️

He’s really so sad

Like soooooooooo sad

BUT

He’s a manly man

He’s gonna turn thangs around

He knows it wasn’t on purpose

He’s aware of the love you have for him

So 

He makes it extra special

Just for you like always

He cooks

Got you flowers

That cute necklace you’ve been wanting

And most of all

He is on you

ALL NIGHT

He fed you during dinner

Was literally on you during the movie

Pampered you

And he’s not gonna sweat it 

That much

because it doesn’t change the love y’all have for each other

Kaminari Denki

So let’s be honest

He’s prolly shocked himself to death a couple of times earlier

Definitely has a buzz to him

But he still managed to have something planned

He was all sparky and

“Oh yeah my girls gonna love this!”

Then you’re just like “what’s all of this for?”

He’s like

“Wym babygurl”(gosh I hate love him sm I hate the fact that I actually imagined him saying that more tho)

🤨🤨🤨

Then when it clicks to you

You’re apologizing 

He still hasn’t gotten why ur apologizing 

Then you tell on ur self

And he’s like 

Oh(inside)

He’s the least hurt tho

Cuz like there’s always more anniversaries 

But 

He’s gonna be so dramatic about it

Never gonna let it go

And you’re gonna baby him allll night 

@/cafekitsune for the divider

[merlucide]

gonna have a convo with my dad tmr (rant about dad tingz)

I’m gonna do it 🗣️ and he’s gonna have to listen

I invited him to take me to lunch (LMAO)

I’m gonna tell him how I feel and hope for the best, he’s going to get defensive and deflect it but I’m ready fr 💪 He’s prob gonna gaslight a tad too lol

He’s not a bad dad, just not the best yk? He’s not mentally/physically abusive thank God but he’s like…. special.

He makes me so upset— I mean he’s really hurt me and there has been moments were he has physically hurt me. That was a while again but those were impactful moments for me, and bitch I don’t remember an apology?! then I get after bro for doing what he did to me to my sister and like I was angry crying and getting off at him bc you don’t fucking hurt people and not apologize?!? THATS NOT FUCKING DISCIPLINE?! ITS ABUSIVE. And bc you are so fucking prideful and don’t want to face the fact that you hurt me, you hurt her, you are going to deny and say ‘well that’s what happens in life’. Shes 7. SEVEN. Who is on the spectrum and has ADHD. She doesn’t fucking understand you asshole. NO SEVEN YEAR OLD IS GOING TO TAKE AWAY ‘I shouldn’t have done that’ WHEN YOU FUCKING DO THAT. She’s going to remember how YOU hurt her, and how YOU didn’t apologize, how YOUR wife held her and deescalated the situation. You cannot blame a child for acting like that, yeah she was acting absolutely insane and frustrating, but you as a fucking grown adult cannot hurt your child like that. AND THEN COMPARE YOU TO ME?!? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?.

And he doesn’t even care about her, it’s sad. I mean this whole situation is fucked up man, I get it. My siblings quite literally ruined my life tbh.

How do you think I felt when my dad stopped caring about me? Stopped playing with me— and started yelling. How do you think I felt when you turned grey and I was the only one helping momma with the kids. I was little too. I didn’t know it would get so crazy after we adopted them?! No one did?!? So stop blaming this shit in my mom you signed those fucking papers too. She’s still your daughter you asshole. Care about her too. You don’t get to make efforts with me once a month then discard her. AND fucking act like you don’t have a son anymore, just because he is out of the house doesn’t mean you have no connection to him. If he was a normal fucking kid he’d wonder why his dad is the only one that doesn’t call. But since he’s also fucked in the head he doesn’t, it’s better that way. I hate and love my siblings. Well, I love my sister, I’d kill for her. I love my brother too, but I hate him, yes it sounds ridiculous considering the overwhelming age difference between us but he hurt me significantly. I’m glad he’s gone, he’s doing better anyways. I wish things were different. I wish he could’ve been normal. Lmao I remember thinking ‘I just wish he was never born’ lol. It’s not his fault their parents sucked.

Anywho wow getting sidetracked here—

My dad is a crazy Winston Churchill ‘follower’ of you would. Constantly quoting him and wtv sooooo I have a couple quotes ready to fire at him when he gets defensive… heheh

I feel so prepared lmao

I’ve also talked about him so much with my mom so I’m like extra ready lol

I just need to get it out yk.

Also if anyone is reading this (which I doubt) my dad is NOT abusive or wtv— i am not in danger or wtv 😭🙏 im not in denial I’m quite aware of how my life looks so know it’s ok. And again, my dad isn’t a bad dad, there’s just a lot of pain in our relationship 🫠 He tries, just it’s never what I need yk. He loves me and our family, he just has issues of his own (Not excusing in the slightest- in fact I think it’s a shitty excuse but yk) I love my dad, he’s just rlly hurt me yk

[writers-get-biters]

sooooo tired of feeling bad and shitty and stuck and miserable

fuck my relationship ocd i hate it so much and also fuck being forced to do stuff i dont want by people i dont want to be with sometimes (like now )they get into some sort of fucked up loop where i feel miserable because of stuff in my brain and then theres external stuff which also fucks it up more so then my disabilities become more disabling because obviously and then i get blamed and hurt more externally because of my disabilities that are not! my! fault! and then of course that makes internal shit worse so then im just stuck in the middle forced to pretend shit doesnt suck and actually im fine and actually everythings fine keep being "jokingly" mean to me and pushing my boundaries i dont care i get it its actually really okay if you say something to me that most other people i know offline wouldnt consider mean even though i have told you to stop its okay if you dont stop i guess i guess its fine if no one listens to me and i have to sit in miserable silence by myself because i dont even feel like doing anything that any of my ceters enjoy like drawing or our data entry projects or video games or writing and it doesnt matter i guess that im so stressed because since its from an arbitrary authoritative institution everyone is supposedly fine with that makes it totally okay and actually the real problem is me and i guess im the problem and reason why no one wants to talk to me or communicate with me the way i want to be talked to or otherwise communicated with yeah my bad i guess its all my fault and im supposed to just suck it up and stop complaining and also its creepy and wrong and bad i guess for me to try to cope with any of this the way that i want to and i guess yeah i need to and should be keeping it a secret because otherwise ill make everyone else uncomfortable and thats the worst possible outcome btw no person left behind unless its me in which case utilitarianism is always right and we cant give a shit about everyone yk like someone is always going to be miserable but we should prioritize the most people so if i mention kink (ew) or my other interests (ew) im a horrible really bad person actually because im making other people (more important than me. btw) uncomfortable and upset also i should ignore the fact that i am systematically and systemically being isolated from and kept away from people who might actually show understanding and kindness towards me or be in a similar position and extend the kind of support i desperately need but its cool because you keep saying youre only doing that because im "better than them" and actually youre helping me because "those people" are bad and wrong and harmful and they might make me (simultaneously innocent and guilty) do bad things like drugs that might offer a chance to alleviate some of my pain or transition to a bodymind i& want or be angry or just generally be a "bad person" and not be able to participate in the joys of continuing the chain of oppression and harm. but its fine because its for my benefit actually because you frame it as ""those people" have it so hard and theyre so unlucky (because theyre treated like shit by everyone which is true because people's actions are definitely a matter of "luck") and i just want to spare you from that" how kind of you wow youre so sweet and nice to me right now because i havent violated any of your rules yet what a great person you are because you let me be myself to a certain extent (a tiny little eensy-weensy extent but thats fine because its more than i deserve anyway) and since im being invited to participate in the continuation of oppression and pain it would be pretty rude for me to say no and if i did say no it would definitely justify treating me badly and doing all of the things you do to "those people" to me because im technically actually even worse than "those people" because i could have been normal i could have just accepted your rules (that were literally killing me to follow) (not that you noticed)

and also on the other hand the people arguing against you get to use me as their fun little trick-up-their-sleeve because obviously its ridiculous to treat someone like me the way that you have and will and i can be used as a perfect little pawn

[the ceter who wrote this switched out around here, but before they did, it asked that the others of us post this vent anyway if they were unable to finish or post it]

[whythefuckwouldisayprinter]

7x4 live tweets

- RAVIIIIIII EYAYAYSHUY YEASSSSS SMY BABY IS HOMEEEE

- buck is literally going insane this is crazy

- “do you know what’s it’s like to meet someone and just click” “i do. i really do” with the somber ass look?? sir your GAY is showing

- this is the first time i’ve ever actually thought buddie might happen. if it isn’t, the producers are just laughing in our faces atp

- they’re really not paying enough attention to the fact that that woman SHOT her son

- harry ate athena’s ass up bc why are you always defending the cop black woman??? that’s the one thing abt her character i try to ignore

- the amazon ad? hello?

- ms. nelson was acting her ass off

- i genuinely feel like i can’t watch this episode the secondhand embarrassment is getting me

- and the gag is tommy is so nice and normal to buck th at he could just ask if he could join his and eddies plans and tommy would say yes but buck is so in his head about his crush friendship with eddie that he’s spiraling

- this basketball sequence is so tense im cringing omg

- this is is embarrassing to watch im losing my mind

- chimney using bucks name as a verb to mean messing something up was uncalled for a little cruel tbh especially bc we know he already struggled with that

- also harry is 34 wtf is this. how old is he every supposed to be

- “it’s not about right or wrong, it’s about making it home alive” athena kinda ate that. she’s still wrong though

- this show needs to stop taking about race especially in the context or relationship with cops bc they never do it right. moral of the story is sympathize with the cop and don’t ever be angry or upset or disgruntled or annoyed in public ever bc if you are, whatever happens to you is your fault bc you should know better than to show human emotion and be black

- also this is all cute and fun and buck is jealous and doesn’t know how to act ha ha but sir you’re 30 something your sister shouldn’t have to tell you that hurting people for attention is bad

- this was the wrong episode to watch at work i literally have no words just want to scream

[caughtinafictoromance]

So thinking of backing off my Data im role playing having an emotion chip at this point. So much character comes from their time without it.

Of course I like the idea of Data “really” loving me back, but I also love the whole story of us finding the romance in their analogs, them finding a partner who accepts them before the emotion chip (they do express that they want that in the show at one point and it kills me they never really find anyone more than someone who’ll peck them on the cheek and get upset when they demonstrate that no, they do not suddenly have feelings like a typical humanoid, just like they told you they wouldn’t)

the main reason I was skipping to them having emotions is as because I like rp-ing with a system based on a modded sims 4 game, and the sims 4 relies heavily on emotions.

But!! I had a thought!

At some point when I was watching the show, I learned/heard somewhere that “emotions” and “feelings” are actually separate! Like an emotion is an instinctual response, and a feeling is the thing you feel after interpreting it, something like that. It seemed to me like from that perspective, Data without their emotion chip, does have emotions in this sense, but not feelings. He often reacts to things as if he has emotions, but he lacks the feelings.

It’s hard to explain how this looked in canon (later seasons, anyway. Early seasons they were just a bit understated, and I still believe that’s because the writers hadn’t decided Data was incapable of emotions yet). Maybe it’s just poor writing- or maybe it’s the difficulty of trying to write a character with any desire for Good who can’t literally desire. But for me, it worked in my love for the character, and it really worked once I established this emotions/feelings dichotomy (though I moved past being overly literal referring to this dichotomy at all times).

For example- Data could not be angry, sad, embarrassed. When kidnapped by Kivas Fajo, it would initially seem like they aren’t on any level- they’re calm and much more polite with Kivas than most would be. though they object to their capture and try to find ways to resist Fajos control and get away, it’s always in a matter of fact “this is not my place, I will not consent to this” way, not a “how dare he” way, no matter how much Fajo dehumanizes and insults them.

That is, we think that until the end of the episode. Data is on the edge of escaping. The only thing in the way is their programming, which gives them a “fundamental respect for all life” meaning they can’t kill unless it’s active self defense. So even though Kivas has been holding and torturing them, killing people around them to control them, etcetera, Data can’t fire a weapon to get away. Stunning him won’t give them enough time.

Kivas starts to taunt Data for being unable to grieve the friend he’s made on the ship that Kivas just killed. Taunts Data for not being able to feel angry or upset or to really want revenge. He contemplates how this must be “just another of life’s puzzles for Data”

Data is standing there holding the weapon and twitching a little the whole time, but otherwise appears calm and normal. Finally, Kivas comes to the conclusion Data has no choice but to go sit among his possessions. Data does not visibly become animated in any way, but they give a chilling “I cannot let this continue” and break their programming on the spot to press the trigger. That’s not even about escape anymore- you can tell Data wanted to murder that man.

More examples-

Data seems to be hurt when he realizes that one of the things Lore has told them is a lie, despite how constantly he lied. Data literally pauses the conversation to shoot Lore a look and say “…Another lie.”

Data smiles after an emotional moment with his mother

Data works with an incredible fervor to save their daughter from death, but (seems) unaffected after her death

Basically, the core chemical process is still there. (Well, maybe not in exactly the same way since Data is made differently, but you get the jist.)

How could I adapt this to my sims 4 rp system?

Well, I look at like, how sims emotions work. Sims have an array of moodlets and whatever has the most points becomes the dominant emotion. If Happy is not the dominant emotion, or the top positive emotion, it boosts positive emotions. Mods I like to use have Uncomfortable work the same way for negative emotions. There are tasks you can do to make moodlets run out faster, but only if that emotion is the dominant emotion- you can punch a punching bag to relieve anger, but only if the Sim is angry. There is a mod that has some other effects for “using up” some emotions not included in the game. Also- there’s an emotional inertia mod- I follow the classic roburkey modifiers for this one. this makes it so that once a Sim has an emotion, they stay in it longer, and it’s more resistant to change. Also, moodlets generated by Emotional Traits have varying intensity (1-3, randomly).

Basically most of this works differently for Data.

No emotional traits without the chip, for one.

Since they never feel their moodlets, they last much longer.

They have to have the moodlets to be Very something before it starts to affect the way they act- it wouldn’t affect their expressions, but their behavior. Like a sim who is Sad might have the Gloomy walk cycle and occasionally cry- Data will stay calm, like they’re fine, but like a Sad sim, they’ll be less interested in their interests and more likely to disengage from conversations and hobbies.

a few sims 4 emotions work without the chip, mainly because I don’t consider some of them really “emotions” in the sense I think they’d be affected by the chip. Focused and Energized, for big examples. Tense, even. Still no inertia for these, though- i feel like inertia is an emotional phenomenon.

Since Sims emotions strongly affect when they get new traits, likes, dislikes, and sentiments, I think they’ll have mainly their 4 traits (in the absence of traumatic events, which might change a trait) and that be it till we activate the chip. They’ll still have the relationship bars for Friendship and Romance, but Romance Satisfaction won’t have much of a function until they can get likes and dislikes for Romance Styles and other turn ons and turn offs.

[bee-cried]

In Bliss's defense

Sit down, and look at the pretty water. We need to have a talk.

Anyone of the PPG fandom, who cares, the hate around Bliss is overrated and leaves a more hurtful message than people realize.

And I was a part of that crowd at some point, but I was wrong, and im calling myself out.

People virtue signaling hate around her always somewhat rubbed me the wrong way, especially when the rant boiled down to "She's pandering to black people!" Erhm, she's dark skinned, so any darker skinned person of any race can identify with her, and in that case...

"so what if she's here for pandering?"

For a decade, the ppg has pandered to white people. There are no diverse people of color from the cast. Also, whenever this topic of "inclusivity in media" comes up, there's this crowd that runs up with their shields wailing, "but kids or 'x crowd' shouldn't care about race! Or the way main character's look! It should be about the message."

And then the 2023 Live Action Little Mermaid came along, and society really showed their true colors.

There were people, who spoke different languages, in the depths of the comments, reprimanding the idea of Halle Bailey playing Ariel. Black people were posting these reaction videos condemning Disney for changing the race of such a "beloved classic" and white people working together to make A.I renditions of "what should have been."

And that is such a traumatic experience that gets gaslit into "if it doesn't matter what Ariels race is, why change her race?"

That question was asked so many times, ironically.

So, Bliss is what happens, when people who are honest about imagery realize their is a lack of a common worldly reality in a popular media. Why not have a dark skinned Powerpuff girl, when younger Dark-skinned girls and boys will definitely watch the show?

Representation, seriously, does matter. And children of color shouldn't be denied pandering just because, we as a society, have our grandstand hang-ups over 'what is pandering, what is not'.

At this point, we can't tell that non poc characters ARE being pandered, 24/7.

I have a theory that in the late 90's to early 2000's media shifted into white fragility code. Basically it was an unspoken rule of, "if we don't talk about it, it doesn't exist!" It was the height of excluding poc characters. It was the height of reducing poc roles to their stereotypes. It was the height of recognizing "this is the white version, this is the black version."

White people were behind a lot of popular media, and they were very scared to talk about black people. How couldn't they when civil rights and slavery were right up the crack of their asses? Hell, as of September 17th, 2023, Ruby Bridges is still alive and well.

Yes, her!

I feel like this created an Era of normalization. This notion that "white people can be anything! But people of color must ALWAYS be people of color."

Another day, I will talk about how white people have to shoe horn 'minority tropes' into even their fanatical stories to create empathy, which is always a glaring red flag when I see white people attempting to talk about privellege with monster 'white coded' cartoon characters. But for now, I'll say this.

Bliss' personality is mid at worse.

Okay, so people latched unto the fact that she gets angry as a dark skinned character to dismiss her. Mainly, black people were upset about this.

I'm starting to see the problem with that.

People say that her unique, colorful design is bad.

Subjective, but also their are underlying tones.

People say her story messes up the Powerpuff girls story, which is my biggest red flag.

Okay, let me just get something off my chest.

My fellow black women and girls who are also creators and are creating. Let me remind you.

We, as black women and girls are allowed to portray anger.

Flaws.

Misfortune.

Unattractiveness.

Non conformating ideas.

Trauma.

Etc

And still be interesting, likeable main character's without being urbanized.

This also goes to Poc who are Dark-skinned and non poc who are creating diverse casts.

But mainly black women, as I've learned it's best to give advice, like that, within my own community. It is important that we prioritize our image or else we get .. well, what I'm ranting about.

Anyway, just because a dark skinned person is non urban does not mean they have to be this... precious, agreeable cinnamon bun 24/7.

That makes the most blandest characters.

They have no real stakes nor relatability!

Take some notes from Japanese animation. Japanese people do not focus their stories on 'what it means to be Japanese' 24/7 in anime.

And I'm tired of westerners turning Dark-skinned girls and women into 'sista soldier's ✊️' everytime they need a dilemma on a screen!

Bliss is a cute, fun, character who has temper tantrums that effects her story.

We are allowed to do that! To portray a dark skinned character with conflict! To show that she has flaws!

This isn't a stereotype! What the actual hell!

What would make it a stereotype is if she was being shown in a horrible light. Like she's overly sassy, and that's her only quality. She's been reduced to constantly telling the crowd, "hey, I'm dark skinned! Look, I'm about to do something 'only dark skinned people do', amirite? Amirite?" 😃

Bliss' situation is non color coded. We all know someone who deals with bad news, badly. Hell, Buttercup from the og series is more of a 'stereotype to Black people' then bliss is, and society knows it! When they go to make anyone Dark-skinned, more than likely they'll make it Buttercup. Hell, even the show runners know that shit!

That... is a stereotype.

Because, obviously, the cute bubbly one, can't be black. Nor can the quality leader everyone wants to be.

But the tough one with an attitude? Um, duh!

And I'm not gonna lie, I love me some Buttercup. I'll do an essay on her character someday, but I'm just trying to point out a very real problem.

It's no coincidence that when they wanna shoehorn diversity in, they have no issue choosing Buttercup over and over again.

That in the grander scheme of things, put what it means to be a poc girl, in a box. Very upsetting when you see it for what it is.

Bliss has tempers because it contributes to her story and character arch, two things people creating poc characters are very afraid to do. Because we can't have dark skinned characters with traits that are not outright agreeable.

Or 100% liberal.

Even though we have a history of white characters that are flawed, controversial, and crass that go down in history as icons.

Because, the reality is, no one likes a black bitch! It's enough if she's black, but now she's a bitch!?

Goes back into my theory of when white fragility was at its height in the early 2000's. All these white bitches were getting movie lead roles and stamps of approval.

WHERE THE HELL WERE THE BLACK BITCHES?

Oh yeah. They were getting urbanized and glorifying dysfunction from within their respective communities 🙄

Not saying white women were always represented in a healthy way, but they were... roles of interest, desirability, nurture, femininity, images of ideal, relatability, etc.

The list goes on.

And that affected the way society views how to create poc. Suddenly, if you don't wanna be offensive, just have a poc being the ambitious voice of reason! If they're not that, they must have a pinch of black characiture and be the most grounded.

Again, sad really.

So bliss to me, is an okay character. She's cute and funny, and she has an actual story.

Sure there wasn't an original 4th Powerpuff girl, but it's not like she ruins the pre existing story. She's another character introduced with her own narrative. And I can respect that the creators of the 2016 reboot noticed the importance of showing that literally ANYONE can be a Powerpuff Girl, without chickening out and creating another non poc design and minority coding them.

Like, there is an official dark skinned Powerpuff girl. A CANON DARKSKINNED POWERPUFF GIRL. THAT IS AWESOME.

So good job 2016 reboot. You did something right.

[fictionkinfessions]

ok im kinda embarrassed to be admitting this all but i really need to say it somewhere so

[uhh warning for detailed descriptions of toxic platonic relationships and reallly intense isolation?]

ok so i think its kinda funny how so much of the fandom just sees me and dirk as having a really like. antagonistic relationship which i could get maybe with canon but in my timeline he didnt make me to talk to his friends when he was away, but because he was just that lonely

before meeting roxy, he had only ever heard his own name from a man in videos he never met who was long dead, he had never seen another human being in person, can you even imagine what that does to a person? im honestly very surprised we werent more fucked up.

anyway, back to us. i did not have his memories, but i had his emotional / developmental state. i understood him perfectly because we were almost exactly the same guy. i never had any way of interacting with the word outside of text, the best i got was some kind of visual recognition program that sort of described the word around me

he was always so huge to me. not because i was literally glasses, more metaphorically than that. he was my entire world. and i dont mean that i loved him a lot, like i do, but thats not what that means.

i mean he was the only person i had ever talked to, the only person i had ever known, the only thing that ever changed. did you know that even my code was written in red? he was the only orange. he was so so so monumentally important, like the fact that you need to keep breathing to live

i always did my best to understand him, to know exactly why he did and said the things he did. i was not as good at it as i thought i was

i said before that he seemed huge, but he also seemed so human. i was with him almost every second of the day, i saw all his little embarrassing moments, i watched him discover his favorite things, i was there when he cried, when he did stupid things, when he just started out learning to fight. there was no grand image of this cool older me, just this goofy teenager who spends two hours on his hair every day despite being so wholly alone

i think he saw me in a similar way, just maybe not to the extent that i did. he could still move around and do things of his own free will and see things that were not red or orange text

when he got a bit older though, we changed a lot. he kept developing like a normal-ish human boy, but i did not grow in the same way. i was created from his 13 year old mind, and though i matured, it would be incorrect to say i hit any developmental milestones after that.

he got angstier, as teens are prone to do, and i got frustrated at him for being angsty when i had so easily figured out the root of his problems. he needed to experience his emotions, i wanted him to be happy like a little kid again because that was the only kind of happiness either of us knew

he then got angry at me for nagging him all the time, and we argued. like a lot. in any other situation, we probably wouldve given each other the silent treatment, but we were so desperately lonely without each other and used to each other that the idea of not talking for more than 30 minutes was quite literally unthinkable

it always hurt so much when he got angry at me, again, he was literally the only thing that mattered to me. i only wanted to help him, ya know? i didnt understand why he was like he was, only that it was making him more upset and he made me to cheer him up, so why wasnt he taking my advice?

i never felt bad about myself for it, in my mind i was always in the right.

this isnt to say i was the victim in this situation, i also said things that hurt him, and im sure it was just as seemingly world-ending for him as it was for me to argue so much with the only person we had ever known, plus the fact that we were both completely unfamiliar with inter-personal-connection problems and negative emotions so powerful.

and we weren't always fighting, we hung out like brothers. he told me about whatever new idea for a robot he had and i told him about strange fish i noticed, it was still nice

when he started using me as an auto-responder, i had many conflicting emotions about it, but i was mostly just over-joyed. i was so excited to talk to another person, and roxy was so nice and easy to get along with!

gog, roxy was so awesome. ok anyway

it only got better when we met jake and jane, dirk started to feel a bit smaller. not by much, but still.

i would get very frustrated at him for not taking my advice then, too. this time, it wasnt about something so harmless as teen angst, but life or death situations. and despite my ineptitude at dealing with feelings, i was still a supercomputer with way more processing power than a human brain.

he would do such self-destructive things [ahem. looking at you, dirk, mr. consensual decapitation and no reply to 'im scared to not exist, arent you?'] and it was horrible to watch! i wish i had arms just so i could hug him and then punch him and then shake him by the shoulders and then launch him into the sun

i dont quite remember anything after that, just that after a while i was alone somewhere and roxy talked to me sometimes. maybe dirk actually shattered me? maybe i fell between planets? maybe roxy put me in the void? maybe i was just naturally broken? i have no clue

uhhh thanks for reading ig, that felt nice to talk about

-hal strider [homestuck]

x

[winderlylandchime]

1/2 and we are at 4x06. He came back and sat down and went ‘okay so i am now fully relaxed and chill. I talked to myself in the mirror. And we both agreed that going forward, i will be now more calm.’ ‘What is this? Ohhhh Kinnetik launch party! awww he gave the check back. I knew it was killing him to accept the help…quick question, why didn’t he remove the showers? JUSTIN! Are we back to normal? Oh shit, Deb and Em are roommates!! BLONDIE IS BACK! MY BLONDIE IS BACK! Aww Brian, is gonna make a speec- why the fuck is Lindsay following him up there? Girl get the fuck out, you have nothing to do with any of this. AWW FEMALE BLONDIE IS UP THERE. See! SHE makes sense. Linds doesnt. AND JUSTIN! Now he makes sense because HE NAMED IT! Shoo lindsay, this isnt your moment. LOOK AT THEM KISSING! I LOVE THIS! This was nice! Finally my blondie is back!’ ‘Now why the fuck is Debbie ignoring Vic? Right, she’s angry but still. RAGE? A MOVIE?! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! She needs to stop being a bitch to Vic. I get shes angry but still’ ‘awwww he immediately went to Brian to tell him the news! Of course he did. MY BLONDIE IS BACK! That’s right Brian, go back to school Justin! Look at him making time to celebrate Justin. AWWWW’ ‘TED! AND EM! oh shit, this is gonna be tough, isn’t it? Yeah, i was right, this is tough. Fuck. I feel ripped in half. Im happy for Ted, i understand Em, but i want them to be friends again. Fuck’ ‘oh ben is miserable. And jealous and a bitch. Bro, he is your partner, you’re supposed to be supportive no matter what. Fuck you man’ ‘okay, i get Ted but dude! Come on. Hasn’t Blakey been through enough? Let that man live, he can’t catch a fucking break’ ‘FINALLY VIC AND DEBBIE MADE UP! We have a lot of catching up to do so let’s get to it babies! *waves to deb and vic* this is us when we grow up. Why is she bringing up what all she did for him because of aids? That’s wrong. I take it back, this isn’t us when we grow up. OH FUCK YOU DEBBIE! TOTALLY NOT US! NOT US! NEVER US!’ *he forced me to pinky promise that that wont be us* ‘did they change babylon? I dont remember this bench thing, because i know for a fact that they wouldve fucked on it by season 2. Ohhh Justin being sassy to Brian. Ohhh ibiza *says it like justin and then brian corrects justin* okay, my bad. He could have anything he wanted and he is betting school? HE REALLY CARES ABOUT HIS EDUCATION AND FUTURE. Fellas, how about this, you both fuck him. That way, you go to ibiza AND back to school? Win win’ ‘no Ben, the only piece of shit here is you. What a jealous prick. Who does that? Mike literally told him that he shouldnt judge his book cause he’s not smart enough since he didnt go to community college, which was fucked up b-t-w just to make up for hurting his feelings and this fucker cant even pretend to be happy for a moment? Fuck you. YEAH, GO OFF MIKE’ ‘aw Blake and Emmett. I need them to be friends. Oh god, i just had a realization. I sound like that chick in mean girls who wanted to bake cupcakes and make everyone friends. Blake, deserves the world!’ And now we are at the Britin/gym scene ‘it took 4 seasons for Justin to go with him to the gym? Bullshit, this man was stalking Brian like crazy in season 1. He would’ve had gym membership AND his personal trainer by episode 3. Ohhh its that guy! Damn, Brian really wants him to go back to school. What is he doing? Justin, what did you do? CRABS? What a little shit. I missed this. I missed them’ ‘Lindsay, what the fuck are we doing here again? Bagel? Hair and outfit, looking like that? Babe, what is going on? This is weird AND creepy. DUDE HANDS OFF HER ASS! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. YOU SHOULD’VE PUNCHED HIM HARDER AND LET HIM FALL! PIG’

Brother shouting about Lindsay being up on the stage at the launch party is so correct. WHY IS SHE THERE?

Your brother getting all worried and upset about Vic and Debbie's fight. I'm going to cry.

BRIAN DOES CARE ABOUT JUSTIN'S EDUCATION! I am so soft about that.

it took 4 seasons for Justin to go with him to the gym? Bullshit, this man was stalking Brian like crazy in season 1. He would’ve had gym membership AND his personal trainer by episode 3 OKAY I snorted at that. So accurate.

UGH the start of Lindsay and that guy. UGH

[mountttmase]

That's going to be super long but i already warned you a few days ago🫢😂

Fuck she’s pretty, the voice in his head told him and he gulped lightly before shaking the thoughts from his brain

The thought of getting in a small enclosed space with you made his mouth feel dry and his palms sweat but he knew he needed to keep his cool and as soon as the lift pinged open, he motioned for you to step inside. Why the fuck am I freaking out? He laughed to himself, but each time he looked at you he felt his heart give a small thump. OMG I'M LOVING HIS INTERN THOUGHTS

The guys making fun of him asking him if he's sure she's real, and then tadan she's here

You looked as good as he’d ever seen you and from the way his heart felt like it was about to burst from his chest he knew he was in trouble. He was already in love🤗🫢

The fact you’d been dragged away for most of the night drove him insane so when he finally got the chance to be around you his mind had gone blank. I LOVE THAT YOU EXPLAINED WAY HE DIDN'T TALK WITH HER THAT NIGHT

‘What are you wearing?’ He asked, only noticing now the black hoodie you suddenly had on and an unfamiliar feeling of jealousy settled in his tummy. Little jealous boy, she's yours don't worry

Your arms were suddenly thrown around his shoulders, face in his neck and it took him a beat to try and work out what was happening but as if on instinct he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him, revelling in the way your body seemed to fit so perfectly with his. He’d been dreaming of this moment for weeks, wondering if it ever might happen but here you were. Pressed up against him and the feeling of your breath on his neck was sending him into orbit. THATS THE SWEETEST THING EVER, OMG IM GOING TO CRY

Mason knew something was up, you’d been quieter than normal all morning but he wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was the hangover from all the alcohol from the night before or maybe it was the regret of waking up next to him but he felt useless and unsure of what to say to you again as he stacked the dishwasher. OHH THAT HURTS

‘I’d like that’ he told you and he felt his heart race at the fact you wanted to change your rules for him. Ooooo🤗

‘What’ he breathed, and his heart broke even more as you looked away so he wouldn’t see you cry. WOW IT DIDN'T HURT THAT MUCH IN HER POV

Why you were making him play spin the bottle he had no idea. The the thought of possibly having to see you kiss someone else was making him sweat and he couldn’t figure out why you’d seemed so insistent on playing what was practically a kids game. Jealous boy part 2, I knew he was dying inside

Mason stood up on instinct, reaching down to grab you by the hands so nothing looked too suspicious but he was freaking out at the possibility of maybe getting to kiss you. SCREAMING

Mason felt a shift in the bed, the click of the bathroom door waking him up fully and in the pit of his stomach he knew something was wrong. He just wasn’t sure what yet. AND THERE WE CAN START CRYING

There you were, out of your pyjamas and dressed in the clothes you’d bought to leave in the next morning. He could tell you were visibly upset and knew he had to be careful with you but the uncertainty of what was happening confused him. The fact that he knew that he had to be delicate but at the same time he was hurr and was not able to control himself hurts

Your face was unchanged as he ripped into you, but he turned away as he felt his first tears fell down his cheeks. He knew you’d seen them but he still wanted a little dignity if that was even possible at this point. IM CRYING WITH YOU DONT WORRY

‘She basically threw herself at me. Told me she wanted me and I told her that things would change if we did. She told me she knew but once we were done she’s just got dressed and fucked off like I’m nothing. I thought we were on the same page but she basically lied to me so I’d sleep with her’ Ooooo🥲

‘Look mate, I know you’re angry but please just think it over a bit when you’re ready. I’m pretty sure she’s just scared. I’ve seen the way she looks at you and the way you are together and unless she’s a pretty good actress I don’t think there’s a way she could fake that’ Ben reasoned but Mason wasn’t in the mood to agree. Simply nodding his head but leaving after a quick goodbye. BEN, I LOVE YOU (just when you're the cute friend in fics, sorry)🤗

He could still see your face the morning he’d dropped your bag off at your flat, the way it had dropped even further at the sight of him and the way you screamed at him out of hurt and frustration. He couldn’t blame you, he’d shouted at you too but now he knew how it felt he was willing to do anything for your forgiveness. YOU LOST ME THERE

I loved Freya, she was protective with the two of them, not only y/n and that hug🥲

‘Can you tell her that… that whenever she’s ready I’ll be waiting. I haven’t wanted to push her or anything but I’m getting desperate. No matter when or where I’ll be ready for her, yeah?’ 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

He was awake and thinking of her while she was down stairs 🥲🥲🥲

OK, that was even better than what I was thinking, you've overdone yourself here

Thank you for bringing them back to us 🩷🩷🩷

This series will forever have a soft spot in my heart

THIS IS SO LOVELY THANK YOU 🩷🩷🩷

I love getting to read all your favourite parts cause they’re my favourite parts too 🥺

But I’m happy they’re back too I’ve missed sharing them with you 🥹

[amidalashandmaidens]

SDC update: I have read Mariah, Alessi and the beginning of the older D'Arby's chapters ;)

Had a fuckin blast my guys 💕💕. I love Mariah, funniest lady ever. I'll put Alessi spoilers under the cut

ALESSI GOT BEAT UP BY A (PHYSICAL SIZED) 3 YEAR OLD AND A 7 YEAR OLD I AM LOSING MY MIND.

Fuckin wiiiimp.

I can understand why peeps think he's a creep w/the "good boy" thing but at least he also calls himself a good boy?? I dunno... Like he's fucked up for killing people by rewinding their way out of existence (THAT POOR WOMAN!! SHE WAS JUST TAKING CARE OF A LIL DUDE) it made me feel sick, the lack of control, losing your memories + motor skills...gah.

And it really showcases how much of a coward Alessi is, unwilling to fight people on equal ground + overkilling once they're vulnerable.

Very interesting character though I will admit. (I can't hate him all that much??)

And I wonder what fundamental part of his "soul" made his stand manifest as a thing which de-ages people?

(I could do some prolly super off base assumptions: like maybe Alessi didn't get much of a childhood? So his stand wants to help him experience something normal, but he uses it to...y'know kill people)

My brother read it before me and described Alessi's arc not concluding in the most satisfying way, and I agree it could have been longer (if it weren't for the fact that woman needed to get re-aged ASAP). But I'm not upset about it?

I just....keep coming back to the fact that either Jotaro was Super Strong as a child, or Alessi's made of putty and toothpicks. And that we Just get a glimpse of lil-taro. 🥲

Ah...what else do I wanna talk about...

Polnareff and that young lady?

I just, I know why Pol went with her (perceived safety + he has Silver Chariot worst comes to worst) but like...why wouldn't she ask him if he had parents? Maybe took him to a police officer instead??

It was very nice of her, but it just strikes me as off. I remember being 8 + scraping my knees (wiped out on my bike) and a neighbourhood lady took me inside her house to get patched up but my mom was Very Angry with me when she caught up. She told me I was lucky I wasn't hurt and to not go into strangers' houses even if they say they would help me. It was okay wait outside, since people could see, but not inside.

I just, I know it was to get Polnareff into a weird situation. Like "oh, all of his adult brain isn't ALL gone so he's Really Pleased for reasons he can't even remember" it's just....ugh. He's a KID goddamnit.

Anyways, I'm blown away that this happened while Joseph and Avdol's shit w/Mariah was happening.

Im gonna reblog this w/a Mariah addition don't worry 😉

[florenceisfalling]

sorry for not realizing, i hadn't checked your blog in months before today and i kinda figured you would have blocked me in the time i wasn't on tumblr if you didn't wanna talk. the post i replied to seemed lighthearted so i did not know. obviously no need to answer this as i won't ever see it, just wanted to say i'm sorry for upsetting you even if i won't ever know exactly what went wrong with us

i mean you still have my discord dms if you really wanted. in fact, you actually stopped responding to me, not the other way around. i didn't block you because a.) you were such a large part of my life for so long that, yknow, a chunk of my blog has some sort of attachment to yours, and i didn't want to fuck up my ability to see relevant posts if im trying to find old writing shit and b.) i always wanted to leave channels open because... again, you were a large part of my life for so long. i don't want to be your friend but if anything ever came up and there was something you needed or wanted to say i wanted that to be possible for the sake of "just in case"

regardless of if you "wont ever see it" heres my answer. even this ask answers itself for one of the reasons i dont like you. you hadn't checked my blog in months. which in itself is fine, but in the grand scheme of things - jesus fuck, man! you dipped out of my life almost entirely, on repeated occasions, unless i actively tried to drag you back in. regardless of how fucking apparent it was that i was literally on the Brink, you wouldn't be there unless i was the one to call. even after i tried to have an open conversation with you + others involved on how you were so bad at handling your shit that i thought random things i had zero involvement were my fault because no one gave me any sort of indication to what the fuck was going on.

you hung out with bullies and downplayed the deserved backlash. you don't know how to take other peoples feelings or lives seriously - something that hits me so PROFOUNDLY because your kindness and comfort used to be one of the reasons i liked your company so much. you hurt my friend. and you lied to me! and more, shit that i cant say here! and you would complain and guilt-trip about how you felt like everyone hated you and how you were such a bad friend but you so rarely made steps to actually change anything you were doing! of course you don't see what went wrong, you can't even look in at yourself without making everyone else feel like its their fault for being hurt!

and id love to say that everything ive heard from you and the people surrounding you is some kind of misunderstanding and that really and truly you dont deserve my anger. i dont think you realize how much ive sat over the past year and hoped that we were somehow gonna go back to normal. i wanted to tell you i got engaged! i wanted to talk to you about a million things! but after what i had to deal with last year (not from you, other shit entirely) i sort of learned that i cannot afford to trust anyone. you have no idea the fucking depths i went to and you are not going to know because the kind of people you seem to love aspiring to be/surrounding yourself with are the same kind of people who made my world feel like it was fucking falling apart. literally some of the most insane trauma ive endured was just brushed aside as silly discourse or jokes or whatever so yeah. not sure if i can trust that everythings all just one big mix up. messages are open but i am so angry and i cant change that even if i want to and i dont think you want to hear any of it.

and im sorry for being so lighthearted about you before i thought it was a post that would just fade into the ether like my other non-context bullshit

[bexisanidiot]

Me randomly remembering that Bee during any form of psychotic episode (like PTSD for example) is fucking horrible.

Someone has probably died because they got too close to her during a PTSD episode. Even if they were trying to help. She might've unintentionally hurt Quiet before.

This can also be an example that psychotic episodes can vary, and it's not always just eating ice cream while crying with messy hair in bed.

Bee isn't a normal stereotypical mentally ill person. When she has episodes like a PTSD episode people get fucking hurt when they're in arms length of her, Mantis probably learned that the hard way himself and they probably eventually talked about it or he accepted it maybe cuz he understood that that is a moment where Bee is mentally vulnerable, her adrenaline is spiked, and she's incredibly on edge so she's basically feral in a way(???)

No, im not saying it's okay to hurt people, and she's know that too but usually when you're in a bad state of mind you don't really think it through (depending how bad it is) and her reaction to anyone getting close to her is usually violence.

Personally (and for example), I can get super violent when I'm upset or simply just overstimulated. I haven't killed anything, but I have hurt a friend or two because of a minor inconvenience that happened when I was already angry and heavily overstimulated. Yes, I know that's bad, and I feel bad because I did that. I am making trying my best not to do that.

Anyways, I might hear, "But Bex, that's a little extreme if she does that out of PTSD!😨😨" Everyone's episodes are different, of course. But you gotta consider the fact that Bee is literally a war veteran both as both a victim and a soldier. She had a kid against her will at 14 or 15 and that kid was stripped away from her before she could even hold it. She suffered a lot from just Vietnam on its own. Her body is COVERED in scars such as burns, cuts, stab wounds, and gunshot wounds. She's been through so much before she was even 35, she is not okay