notlhecxzsa - Tumblr blog

notlhecxzsa · 9 days ago

Text

Never Wanted Love Just A Fancy Car - N.R

Summary: Time seemed to pass by so quickly, everything seemed to be moving past between Natasha's fingers, but would she let the only thing that seemed to be giving her everything go? It is not what she wanted anyways... right?

Author's Note: Hii! Omg, finally! I hope this is enough to fill the weeks I haven't updated, I kind of got lost and everything's piling up. But, now, I finally have a good vision on how I want this to go! This is 3k+ words.

Warnings: Starting of Mean!Natasha (ughhh, here we go), bruises, mentions of abuse, sad Y/n (give my girl back her dog and lucy!)

°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^

3rd Person's POV:

A week has already passed by, a routine was set between Y/n and Natasha. Inside that week, Maria, Clint and the other noticed how Natasha stayed in the penthouse, which was very unusual, given that she mostly lives in the manor. They chose not to mention it around the red head, thinking that they might just be thinking too much about it.

Y/n already knows the whole penthouse by heart, keeping everything as tidy as possible even though Natasha had kept saying that she has people to do those things. Making different delicious meals for the both of them, even making extra more for Clint, Maria, Bucky and Steve whom she met on the 3rd day of being there.

Y/n's kindness and attentiveness did not go unnoticed by the people that would come and go inside the penthouse, her actions warms the head of the people around her and makes their stomach churn in a very good way.

Natasha's eyes never left the petite figure of her 'significant other' wherever she goes and whatever she does. The fluttering of her heart makes her want to throw up as the compliments from her friends about Y/n makes her eyes roll. Though, she can't deny that her friends seemed to enjoy going to the penthouse ever since Y/n came.

Late night games and movies became a thing for the past week and a half, 'addicting meals'—as to how Bucky proclaimed it to be, are always served, all while Natasha kept to herself, specifically on times when she and Y/n are not alone.

She felt a magnetic-like energy, rather work at home than to do the work she normally would choose to do. Her tongue burning to get a taste of whatever's being cooked in the kitchen. The little moments and conversation that was spent between the younger girl became something she cherished and most awaited every single day, even though she will never admit it—even to herself.

Now, at the very moment, Y/n was cooking in the kitchen while Natasha seemed to be having a very serious call on the balcony with someone. Y/n's eyes kept checking her over, eyes raking on the expressions she wear across the kitchen, to the living room and to the balcony. She wanted so badly to ask what was wrong, her inside a raging bull that kept pushing her to be there for her...wife.

Before she could even go deep inside her thoughts, the sound of the sliding door filled the air and she quickly looked down to what she was cooking. she was cooking, heavy footsteps was what it was followed, then those deep heavy sighs she's starting to get familiar with. She's stressed. Natasha is stressed.

"Are you-" She started, not even getting the chance to talk before Natasha's dominant voice went straight to her ears.

"I'm going out. Don't wait up for me. I just need to deal with something." Natasha's footsteps did not falter, not even a bit as she passed through the kitchen, leaving Y/n alone and confused, her heart and mind fighting wether should she check on the redhead or not.

This is the first time she witnessed the redhead so stressed—the first time witnessed Natasha going out to do something without even knowing what it is. Usually, there would be a follow up reason, a short explanation from Natasha without even asking. Now, she just acted so...weird. There wasn't much evidence that Y/n saw from how she just acted, but Y/n could feel it.

What happened?

°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~

Back at the penthouse, silence enveloped the whole atmosphere as Y/n fixed the food inside the microwave, deciding to wait up for Natasha so that they could eat together. Surely, she won't be home late, right? She always gets home by dinner.

Deciding to spend her time waiting by the living room, turning on the TV to watch something. Her hand subconsciously going up to play with her ring finger, wondering when will the ceremony of their wedding will be. Her mind fantasizing how beautiful the even might be, her younger self's dreams might finally happen in just a few days.

Her mind flooded with questions. Will my parents be there? Will Lucy gonna be there? Tamtam? Her heart fluttering in excitement at the thought of the two latter. She don't know how the wedding will go, all she knows is that this is all about something between Natasha's parents and her's. But, it's a wedding, a special event, a matrimony, it has to mean something more than just a business plan, right? Right.

Even though she still has mixed feelings about her unknown relationship with Natasha, she kept learning on how to love her, that what a wife does, right? That's what they should do.

Clad in her usual clothing, leggings and a domesticated sweater with her hair up in a ponytail and strands of hair falling to the sides of her face. Her attention was swarmed by the announcement spoken by the reporter on the television.

"Stark's industry has once again published a new electronic device, setting a standardized testing all over the countries, even in Asia. But, nevertheless, we can see how Romanoff corporation is still on top of the business. Electronics, weaponry, and services for the people and the government...." A small smile made its way on her face, her heart beats with pride. She was proud. She took a mental note to congratulate the red head later, maybe that's where Natasha was going. To discuss about this, this should be something to be celebrated.

Her gaze averted down to her arm, where the sleeves of her sweater was slightly ridden up. There was a vivid bruising, already healing. Caressing it, her eyes fell into a solemn look, thinking of home. Tammy, Lucy. She just hopes they're doing good. Her parents would call her, asking how she is, spending only a minute to talk to her before the conversation is averted about Natasha.

Pulling up the sweater to check on her other bruises, she saw how the others are still visible in the eyes close-up. She hopes it will be gone soon, people might think weird of her once they notice how she only wears a sweater and cover-ups.

Too lost in her thoughts, she did not notice the ninja-like footsteps getting near her. "Y/n?..." She jumped up at the sound, looking up to see Maria with a certain look on her face, her eyes glazing over the arm that was set in front of her. "Are you okay? What happened?" Looking down, Y/n realized that the sleeves was still ridden up.

Quickly pulling it down, she stood up. "Maria! I didn't- I didn't hear you... Why are you here?" Y/n mentally slalpped herself, sounding so nervous and maybe even mean. Fiddling the hem of her sleeves, she continued, "Have you eaten already? I cooked something... I-I'm just waiting for Natalia to come home, she left earlier, by the way-just incase you're looking for her..." She trailed off, not knowing what to say anymore.

Maria's gaze stayed for a while on Y/n's covered arms that was visible a while ago. She saw it. Bruises littered on her body is what her life is all about in this business, and she can't be mistaken if she saw one. She saw the stiff shoulder of Y/n and what seemed like a tensed body, clearly having a good read that it is not something she would be open into talking about. But to Natasha, she will for sure ask about it. There's no way Natasha's hurting her?

"Yeah- no, I mean, I was just gonna pass by to bring these papers to Natasha..." Briefly holding up a briefcase in hand, Maria's gaze averted to look back into Y/n's face. "She's been spending work times here, I told her I'd just give this to her and she agreed—where is she, by the way? Did she say anything about where she was going?" Maria asked as she put the suitcase on the coffee table and sat on the couch.

Y/n stayed standing up, "Uhm... no, she left in a hurry... and she also seemed stress." Silence enveloped the atmosphere around them, Maria seemed to be in a very deep thought as her gaze glued on the television while Y/n shifted on where she was standing.

"Would you— would you like to eat, Ria?" Maria look back at the young girl, smiling at the sound of the new nickname she earned.

"What do you have there?" Standing up, they both walked towards the kitchen.

"I cooked salmon! I also did some vegetables salads, if you would like I can make you some juices." Setting up a plate, Maria frowned.

"Aren't you gonna eat too? Did you eat already?" Sitting down, she muttered a small thank you when a glass of water was set in front of her.

"No, don't worry about me. I'll wait for Natalia..." Maria's eyes squinted a little as she looked at Y/n who was taking out the food from the oven.

"Why do you keep calling her Natalia?" Maria blurted out and Y/n frowned, her movements faltering as she turned to look at Maria.

"Isn't that her name?" She questioned.

With a chuckle, Maria took a sip on her water as the food was set in front of her. "No, yeah, it is, it is. She hates that name, do you know that? We all call her Natasha." Maria explained, amusement sparking in her voice.

With a deeper frown, Y/n sat down beside her, after setting all the food that is available in front of the raven haired woman. "She hates it? Really?" With a blown confused voice, she asked. "It's just... it was what I used to call her... before. From as far as I can remember."

"Yeah... but, doesn't seem like it when you're that one calling her that..." Maria took a bit of the delicious food, just as she was about to take a second bite, her movements faltered. "Wait... before?" Looking at Y/n who was looking ahead into a space, seemingly lost in her thoughts with a faint blush creeping up on her cheeks.

"Yeah... when we were kids. She used to come in our house with her parents, but I remember only very little." She explained, looking at Maria with a small smile on her face. "Why?" Seeing the distant look on Maria's face, she asked curiously.

A blip of silence came over, the gears running inside of Maria's head seemed to be heard by the girl beside her before she clears her throat slowly. "Urhm... no, nothing. Just curious, that's all—This is so good, by the way. Might eat it all if only Natasha would not kill me." Giggling, Y/n shook her head.

"I can cook you another?" Warmth spreading in her chest, she thought how Natasha got so lucky.

"No, no, don't bother, this is all good." With a nod, Y/n settled beside Maria, conversation thrown at each other like a normal friends would do.

Y/n could only hope Natalia is fine and will come home sooner.

°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^

3rd Person's POV:

Hours passed by and the both of them had settled by the living room, with Maria deciding to stay for a couple of more hours and Y/n now falling asleep on the couch.

Averting her gaze from the television to the young woman who had her head on her knuckles while the other hand cuddled a pillow on her lap. Maria looked down on her phone, all of her messages from Natasha popped up immediately with no reply in sight. Sighing she got up to get herself a glass of water, deciding to stay a few more minutes before heading off.

As she was pouring herself a glass of water, a sheets of colored papers along with some art materials caught her eyes. Flower papers. The same ones she saw on Natasha's glovebox. The same one she also saw on Natasha's room yesterday.

Huh. Smirking, she shook her head before the sound of the door caught her attention. It might be Natasha. Deciding to stay in the kitchen as those familiar quiet footsteps reached her ears. From where she was standing, she could still clearly see where Y/n was laying on the couch but she's not visible for anyone to see if the person walking inside will go straight in the living room.

She watched as the familar form of a red haired woman with a dominant aura walked slowly with careful steps that Maria is not familiar with approach the young woman. With furrowed eyebrows, curiosity filled her body as she watched Natasha stand still, her figure looming over the girl, just watching over her.

Slowly, a sly smirk made its way on her face as she decided to step little by little closer to the living room, coming into a view where she can see Natasha's face clearly.

There was a certain look in Natasha's face that she could not pinpoint. A certain look she'd never seen before. Now, with a frown, she thought how could Natasha not notice another presence with them? With her eyes soft and tensed at the same time, analyzing the small figure by the couch, she decided to get her attention.

"Natasha..." With an uncertainty in her voice, she called out.

Head whipping around, shoulder becoming tensed as her features falter, Natasha replied, "Maria..." Clearing her throat, she straighten up, turning on her heels and walked towards the kitchen, her eyes trailing towards the art materials present on the table. "What are you doing here?"

Watching as Natasha opened up the fridge but just stared. "I got you the files. Where did you went?" She asked.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you not to come anymore. I'll be going back at the mansion." Closing the fridge, she went to sit on one of the stools, now looking straight into Maria's eyes, not caring how she ignored the second question.

Frowning, she asked, "What? What about Y/n?"

Natasha shrugged, "What about her? I mean, she's doing fine here...I can just check on her—you guys can check on her from time to time." Taking a sip on the beer she got from the fridge, she averted her gaze to look by the living room, her gaze immediately falling down on the young woman laying on the couch.

With a still frown, Maria couldn't help but notice how the atmosphere had shifted, now taking notice that there was something up with her friend. She know her too well not to notice it, but seeing how tensed Natasha was, she chose not to question. Questions that are already piling up after the things she had witnessed and learned today.

"Well, then, I should go now. The files are by the living room..." Turning, Maria gathered her things she left on the kitchen counter earlier.

"Thank you, Maria." Natasha said with a monotone, acknowledging the effort that was made by the woman.

With a nod, Maria walked towards the exit, but her movements faltering as she turned her head to look at Natasha who was still looking ahead. "She cooked for you..." Even with her face in a stone cold feature, Maria could see right through her. "She was waiting for you to come back."

Receiving no reply, Maria headed off, leaving Natasha in her own bubble that seemed to be going off in any moment.

As soon as the sound of the door closing in, she swallowed a heavy lump that formed in her throat, her facade falling into pieces as she took a deep breath, closing her eyes as she let it out.

As soon as she opened it, she saw a movement by the living room. Taking a large swig of the beer, she watched as the figure took notice of her presence. Those eyes that haunted her in her sleep, the same ones she craved as soon as she wakes up. Natasha made no effort in resolving her facade, watching as the young woman marched forward in the kitchen, strands of hair falling into place as she took careful steps just like what she always do, as if worrying that she might trip.

Natasha learned all her habits, the way she would tuck her hair behind her ear, how she would fiddle the ends of her sleeve as she tried to cover up her hands as if she was not covered enough with those sweaters and cardigans along with leggings and pants that seemed to be countless. The way her eyes would move everywhere when she's nervous and couldn't seemed to hold an eye contact. Many more she could not even begin to explain, and many more she could not stop thinking about.

She was held captive, and she knows it. Especially, after tonight. It was a hard pill to swallow, finally realizing that she was capable of doing something she grew up thinking she was not able to do so.

"You're home." Home. Natasha's gaze felt like she was burning holes into Y/n's eyes. "Do you wanna eat? Wait, let me just reheat it. Maria was here earlier, she got your files by the living room—oh, I also made a dessert for us, thankfully Maria did not see it inside the fridge, she would eat it all for sure." A giggle passed her soft lips, even though she was not in Natasha's view, the red head could see the smile she wanted so badly to keep from the world and own it to herself.

So that she could only see it.

So that she could only smile for her.

She was not supposed to feel like this, and that was what makes it more a bitter thing to taste.

"She's just simply the paper in between their business, Natasha. After the marriage, you and I both know she's nothing to father..."

Her facade hardened at the voice of her sister from earlier, receiving the truthful message that made everything clear for her.

She was not supposed to feel like this because that smile was never meant to be hers.

She has a mission to do, a mission for herself.

"...and you and I both know she means nothing to you..."

Standing up, everything seemed to be closing in around her. Gulping down the beer while her eyes strayed away from the one's who's trying to catch it with a confused and worrying gaze.

"I'm not hungry. You should also clean that mess up... can't have my house piling up with childish things." Pointing briefly on the art material she knew clearly well was meant to be given to her.

She was met with silence, and it was almost deafening. Walking away, her insides screamed to her the giggle earlier, craving to hear her voice filling up the air as she bid her goodnight.

Once again, a lump started to form in her throat, but this time, she can't find the strength to swallow.

°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~

Author's note: Hope you liked it! I tried my best, really ಠ⁠︵⁠ಠ I'll do better on the next one! More angst piling up in the corner, I know this seemed to be in a rush but I promise to give more on the next ones! Many peeps keeps on messaging me and piling up my asks so I just did what I can do at the moment ಠ⁠ ⁠೧⁠ ⁠ಠ thank you for reading, until next time!

#lhecxzsa #natasha marvel #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha x reader #the great war

126 notes · View notes

notlhecxzsa · 22 days ago

Text

2 titles out now 👀 buckle up for a very a n g s t y chapters mwehehehehe

The Great War - Natasha Romanoff

Summary: Y/n Romanoff, a woman with a bright smile that almost hurts people to look at, the softest eyes that everyone falls for, the kindest heart that everyone adores. Trying to make life out of her family's name, but was stuck in an endless winter, with her dreams crushed by everyone. She is a real treasure in the form of a porcelain doll, but would she be, in the eyes of someone who's got it all? Natasha Romanoff, a well known CEO and billionaire all around the world, nothing could stoop in her level. Cold, ruthless and born to thrive with so much determination in her heart. Trying to prove to her family that she is nothing like them and so much better. But, as she was caught up in the middle of a raging war, she was left with no choice but to face something for the first time. Will they be able to escape the great war? Leaving with something unimaginable as they step in the daylight? Or will this be just another endless winter, only ending until one of them loses?

Natasha RomanoffxFem!Reader

Warnings: Arranged marriage, cursing, violence, emotional abuse, physical abuse, deprivation of many things as a child, G!p Natasha, (That is all for now!)

°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~

Chapter 1: The Asylum Where I Was Raised

Chapter 2: Never Be So Polite You Forget Your Power

Chapter 3: Never Wield Such Power You Forget To Be Polite

Chapter 4: I Think Your House Is Haunted

Chapter 5: Secret Garden In My Mind

Chapter 6: Never Wanted Love Just A Fancy Car

Chapter 7: I Find Myself Running Home To Your Sweet Nothings

°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~

Author's Note: Hi, everyone! I hope you'll enjoy this new Fanfic of mine :)) This is gonna be my first series here on tumblr, and I also might post it on my wattpad page. This won't be just 5 chapters, but I'm still unsure how many chapters it would have, I guess we'll just have to wait. Have fun reading, peeps! (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

#lhecxzsa #the great war

452 notes · View notes

notlhecxzsa · 22 days ago

Text

she fucked the grim reaper, she made a baby from scratch, she's a con artist and a scammer, she blew up the hindenburg, she sank the titanic, she served cunt, she's annoying and mean, she's traumatized, she's thee jolene, situationship so bad she's gaining custody of twins in the afterlife, she's even a lesbian!! agatha harkness most character of all time

16K notes · View notes

notlhecxzsa · 22 days ago

Text

somebody kiss me now...

kiss of death is such a lesbian way to die.

#lhecxzsa #hahaha pls #only a girl named keith can kiss me

3K notes · View notes

notlhecxzsa · 25 days ago

Note

Hey dear, I loved your last update, but I wanted to know if it was the last one or if you intend to continue the Great War?

hiii! omggg, it's not the last one! i intend to continue it, I'm just finding free time to update huhu, school's been overshadowing my whole life haha! thank you for your support!

#lhecxzsa

1 note · View note

notlhecxzsa · 26 days ago

Text

this is how the whole coven looked at agatha after finding out she fucked Death itself

11K notes · View notes

notlhecxzsa · 1 month ago

Text

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! 💐

#lhecxzsa

6 notes · View notes

notlhecxzsa · 1 month ago

Text

Secret Garden In My Mind - N.R

Summary: Y/n's first day was a...roller coaster ride. But, it got more exciting with her first unexpected interaction with Natasha popping out of nowhere, with only the two of them being left alone in the house.

Author's Note: Hiii! Goshhh, I'm so sorry for making y'all waittt, so here's this! I hope it's enough to forgive me guys HAHA! hope you'll enjoyyyy, let's see where this will lead. 3k+ words.

Warnings: Blood, cursing, blood curdling domesticity (natasha being so soft and idiot), Y/n being a material wife (fuck her parents)

°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~

Natasha's POV:

I saw how those familiar eyes widen, a spatula went in front of her, as if she was trying to hide from me by putting it on her chest. I swallowed a bump on my throat, mentally cursing myself for how I reacted. Of course, she'll be here. God, Natasha.

"I-... I was- I was just... Ms. Maria said I- I can cook the nuggets..." It came out almost as a question. I falter for a moment before regaining my composure back.

If money could make the ground to swallow me whole, that would where my billions will go. Gosh, am I drunk?

"Sorry... I'm sorry..." Those words left my mouth with no hesitation, making me falter once again. Why am I saying sorry? I don't apologize. Especially not under the roof I own and not to some... stranger. "I thought... I thought you were somebody, I'm really sorry..." I mentally face palm, biting my tongue as my inner turmoil just got louder. I mean, how can I stop apologizing when she look so... those eyes! I mean...Ugh, I'm going mad.

"Go on, you can... finish your—whatever you're cooking." I immediately turned to leave just in time when Maria step in the kitchen, a phone in hand and a frown on her face.

"Did you shout?" Fuck.

"Follow me." I commanded, walking past her without bothering to excuse myself.

I saw in my peripheral vision how the new presence that is with us put her head down, making the nagging feeling inside my chest flutter even more. As I walked away, my hearing caught the words that left Maria's mouth.

"Don't worry about her, you just eat whatever you want, okay? I'll be right outside in the balcony." I could imagine a small smile playing on her face, making me roll my eyes.

I marched towards the balcony, mixed feelings clouding my mind as a small headache started to hit me. Gosh, she's already here? Why wasn't I notified? Wait... Maybe, I was? But, if I am, I could've remembered it!

"Why the hell is she here?" I whispered in a shout as I face away from her, looking out in the view before us, both of my arms on the railings. I couldn't let her see my face, and notice that I'm in a turbulence inside my mind.

"What do you mean? I've already told you that last night before you went out with those two girls...." I winced as I remembered how I decided to pick two last night, wondering if it could help me out of the mess I'm in. Still, I kicked them out before I could even close the door of one of the rooms inside that bar I go to. "...You even told me you'll be picking her up, Nat. But, I've received your phone calls, I couldn't reach you so I decided to do it myself-" Feeling irritated, I faced her with so much confusion and annoyance visible in my face.

"Maria, you can't take initiatives on such things like this! She's mine to think about—she—she's my problem for god's sake!" Mentally, I was taken aback by the things I have said. I wondered if it's my first time telling her something like this, but I chose to not falter. I saw how her eyes widened a little, not ignoring the flash of hurt that ran around it.

"What the fuck, Nat? Since when did it become a problem with me cleaning your dirt? Doing your work? She's yours to think about, but did you see how you handled her earlier? No shit, Romanoff, you yelled at her! Did you even see how startled she was? She's here, somewhere foreign to her and with people she barely knew." I gulped down the saliva on my throat, suddenly finding it hard to talk about and find the right words to stand still and claim my dominant towards her.

"What's been happening to you, Natalia? You're not doing like yourself this past couple of days..." I heard her claimed a long breath before exhaling it out. "If it's about work, tell me and I'll handle it. About your family? Your dad? Tell me and I'll help you, we'll help you. We're not your enemies here, come on. We've come so far together already... I'm not a stranger." With that, a gust of wind passed by me as she walked out the huge sliding door. That was when I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding still.

Am I losing my mind? Maria was right, I am not myself. I just couldn't understand what is happening. Everything feels too much and it angers me how I can't even resolve my own problem.

I turned to catch a glimpse of what moved in my peripheral vision. I watched as the two woman inside the penthouse talk to each other, gazing down, there's was a small plate of chicken nuggets in Y/n's hand, offering it to Maria. A flutter crossed my chest, I couldn't help but to clear my throat as I looked away, trying to take my attention to other things outside. But, even the birds and the skies couldn't compel to the face of an angel right here before me.

Looking back, I saw Y/n looking down now, I frowned, thinking of what they might be talking about. Raising her hand, Maria pat her head, resulting to my frown deepening. After that, she said some words that made Y/n look up with those doe eyed gaze. I held a breathe when Y/n walked towards Maria, closing the distance between them and hugging her.

I started to walk inside, my hands itching to grab something...someone— oh stop it. My feet faltered when I saw Maria raised her arms and reciprocated the intimate gesture. Hell, I don't even remember when I last hugged that woman and she's letting some random girl hug her after meeting for a few hours?

Deciding to stop the bullshit, if you could call it that, I made my way inside the penthouse, I was at a distnce when just in time, they pulled away from each other. Clearing my throat, they both looked at me, Maria stepping back instantly, holding a bowl in her hand.

"Maria, go get Clint on the phone and tell here to deal with New York and let Bucky deal with Budapest. I'm not feeling very well, I'm taking the day off." After that, I turned my gaze towards Y/n who was looking down, picking at her hands. I rolled my eyes mentally, before walking past them— between them. One of my hand automatically took the bowl away from Maria's hold as I marched upstairs towards my room. I could feel her eyes burning holes in the back of my head, but I couldn't careless. It was my money that bought this, and there's so much food there, they could just cook again.

Maybe, a day off is all that I need.

°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^°^~°^~

Y/n's POV:

"Well, I'm gonna go for now. I'll come back later and I'll check on you—do you have a phone? Maybe, I can get your number so it'll be easier for you to ask me if you need something." I looked up at Maria as she started speaking, shaking my head after she finished asking.

"I- uh... I don't have one..." I gulped when she squinted her eyes at me in a way that I don't understand. "But- but, I do have a laptop... I just- I don't have any socials... can I text you through my laptop?" I asked, and it took a moment before she responded.

"No, I uh... Oh! we hand that landline here..." She pointed at the telephone by the kitchen counter that was sitting on the far corner, and smiled slightly, feeling better to see that there's a telephone. That, I could use. "And we also have that somewhere in the living room, don't worry, I'll request Natasha to put one up in your room while we wait to buy you a phone, okay?" I nodded, smiling up at her before I remembered something.

"Oh, do-do you want me to cook you nuggets? Or I-" I was cut of by her.

"Don't worry about it, I'm not that hungry. I should get going now, I'll write down my number for you first... wait." She walked away, and I was left in the kitchen. I let out a sigh I didn't know I was holding as I sit on one of the stools she have here. It was so big, everything and everywhere is so big.

The nuggets are great! Does every nuggets here on New York taste like this? Is this some kind of special nuggets? Speaking of nuggets, I look towards where Natasha had disappeared from the corner.

Maybe she's in her room, Maria pointed it out to me earlier, does she want more nuggets? She said she was not feeling very well, maybe I could cook her some more foods? Bring her meds?

"Here." Maria gave me a piece of 1 sheet paper, there were two numbers. "The first one is my number and the second one is Natasha's, just in case she's not here and you need something. And, by the way, if she bothered you don't mind too much about it, she's just- she's just like that." I just nodded along the words she let out, still sitting on the stool so I was looking up at her.

"Would you—should I... uhmmm... Can I bring Natalia more foods? Maybe she needs medicine, or... or anything? I can do it." I asked politely, my hands fumbling around the paper she gave me. I didn't said anything wrong, right? That's what Mama and Dada said, to take care of Natasha, to look after her, to give her anything she needs. Anything she wants.

"Oh, uhh, I don't know about that. She can handle herself. You just make yourself at home, alright? Rest if you need to, I'll be back before you know it." I nodded once again, standing up as I went in for a hug.

She's very welcoming, very kind towards me. I've never met a stranger be this kind to me, it makes me miss home, miss Lucy. I just really need a hug right now and hugging Maria felt right.

Only one of her arms wrapped around me, and I pulled away. "I'm sorry if I kept hugging you—I hope I'm not making you feel uncomfortable... I just... I really need it." I explained, looking anywhere but her eyes.

"It's fine, don't worry." She pat my head before straightening out her shirt. "I should go now, we wouldn't want a dragon showering me with fire." I giggled at what she said and nodded as she started walking away.

"Take care, Ms. Maria. Thank you so much." I said gratefully, waving my hand at her.

She shook her head and waved back before disappearing into a corner. I sighed as I was left on my own thoughts, what can I do for the rest of the day? Can I watch TV? Natalia is here with me, maybe I could get to know her more? Looking around, I glanced at the clock and saw that it's almost past lunch time. Has she eaten already? Maybe she was hungry that's why she took the nuggets.

Standing up, I walked to the fridge, deciding to see what I could cook for her, or maybe for Maria also for when she get home later. There's so many foods here, all of them are fresh and well restocked, I wonder if it's all new.

Sighing, I stood up and look into nothingness, facing where Natasha had left earlier. Should I go check on her? Will it be okay? I'm just gonna check on her only. Golly, maybe she's sleeping? I suddenly jumped at the sound of thump and a sprained curse coming through the hallway.

Worry filled my head so I quickly closed the fridge and ran to where it was coming from. Turning on the corner, I saw Natasha with a vase broken into pieces around her feet. My eyes widened as I yelp her name.

"Natalia! Are you okay?" I asked as I watched her clutching her feet. She's in the exact corner, was she coming to the kitchen? I didn't hear her footsteps.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck... fucking hell!" My eyes widened more and I immediately raised my hand to support her body, but no doubt in my that I would come tumbling around with her if she ever did fell down. She's strong and... big!

"Your feet is bleeding! Golly! Come on, let me help you get to the living." Her hand automatically took a hold of mine while she kept cursing. I just pretended to not hear it, if only I could close my ears but my hands are all full. "What happened to you? Where does it hurt? Golly." I rambled as we walked past the kitchen into the living room where I helped her sit down on the couch, her body almost pulling mine along as she did so.

I immediately stood up straight and ran to the kitchen. "Wait for me." I looked for a clean cloth and found nothing. "Do you have any first aid kit here?!" I yelled gently through the kitchen as I rummaged around.

"By the restroom!" She yelled out with a booming voice and I immediately went to the restroom near. I thankfully quickly found a clean cloth and a box of aid kit beside it, taking it in my hands I immediately ran back, putting it on her feet before I went back again to the kitchen to get a big bowl and then filled it with water.

"Just wait for me, Natalia!" I said in a hurry. I was already panicking, especially after seeing the blood stream going to the floor of her living room.

Golly, hurry up, Y/n!

Soon enough, I was sitting by her feet, my leg folded so I was practically sitting on my ankles. The first thing I did was to stop the bleeding, and then after that I cleaned it with the things available inside the kit for cleaning the wounds along with my bowl of water. She was quiet the whole time, if it were me, I would be crying. The wound is not that big but it is deep, but at the same time there were no stitcher needed.

Good thing Lucy taught me many things.

°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^

3rd Person's POV:

As silence enveloped the surrounding of Natasha's living room, only the sound of Y/n's hand tending her foot was heard. The younger girl was too focused on mending what was hurt to notice the pair of green forest eyes gazing at her. The bumps running along Natasha's skin at the feeling her soft and gentle touch.

She's never been handled like this before, with so much care, so much... Gosh, she's thinking too much once again. Y/n's hand gracefully worked through helping Natasha's wound, while Natasha almost forgot what happened to her already.

"Uhmm..." Y/n cleared her throat, taking Natasha out of the trance she was in. "Would you... would you like something to eat?" Y/n asked, so soft that Natasha could possibly sleep at the sound of it. "How are you feeling? Do you need anything?" Y/n rambled as she rolled the gauze around Natasha's foot.

There was a moment of silence, Y/n could feel herself getting nervous, already wishing to take back what she said. Suddenly, Natasha ask, "Where did you learn that?"

"Lucy—she's my... uhm... my caregiver. She's been with me since I was a baby. She uh... she thought me many things, including this." Y/n said and Natasha couldn't help but hear the longingness lacing through her voice. There was a certain sadness that Natasha couldn't pinpoint. But, she chose to not ask anything, feeling that it might be a sensitive topic.

"Ahhhh... Lucille, right?" Y/n's head snapped up at her, her eyes filled with wonder. Their face was inches far away from each other as Natasha was leaning forward.

"You know her?" Y/n asked before looking down, as if shying away from Natasha's deep gaze.

"Yeah, I do. Been so long since I last talked to her... I was maybe... 8 or 10 above I don't know." There was an anomaly in Natasha's voice, a certain softness as she shared something she didn't know she would share. It was a very long time, she's not usually like this, sharing something to someone. But, it felt right as those words automatically came out her mouth.

Y/n was silent, only nodding her head as a reply but Natasha could see the gears working through her head. "Aren't you hot?" Natasha blurted, suddenly.

"Hmm?" Y/n asked, looking up while holding Natasha's foot.

Natasha gazes at the girl's face, from how her eyebrows were raised in question and how her eyes circled in wonder. Her pink mouth agape as her nose widens a little in every breath. "You're wearing a sweater and pants. You're all covered up." Natasha said, her eyes focused on Y/n's lips.

Y/n is not an idiot, she sensed how Natasha's eyes raked her face, shying away, she looked down, deciding to finish mending her feet. "I'm uh... no, I'm fine." Now, Natasha observed that there was an edge on her voice, as if wanting to drop the topic down.

Full of wonder, Natasha thought. She's mysterious but at the same time she's an open book, full of words that Natasha is yet to dicover. She could only wonder what lies beneath the cover.

"There. All done. Stay here, I'll clean the vase-would you like something first? Water?..." Y/n started cleaning up the mess she made while mending Natasha's foot. "Anything?" Looking up to see Natasha's burning gaze still on her.

"No. No, nothing..." Y/n nodded and said a small 'okay', standing up with the things in her hand.

"If you need me just call out, okay? You just stay here and don't put any pressure on that, it might start bleeding." Y/n explained before disappearing into the kitchen.

Natasha was left in her own thoughts, her eyes not leaving the vacant space where the young girl had disappeared. What the hell just happened? There were no awkwardness around them, maybe Y/n's shying away, but beyond that it was... comfortable. Natasha felt comfortable... she felt fuzzy, as if those splitting moments were merely a dream.

Is she dreaming?

She could hear Y/n walking around behind her, then the sound of the glass being picked up. It was as if all her senses was focused on the girl, and she let it be as she rest on the sofa.

Before she knew it, she was already napping on her million dollar couch, her heart beating in a soft beat for the first time as her mind was somehow at peace while she uses the soft and gentle movement of the girl as a music to fall asleep on.

°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~

Author's Note: Here you go, everyone! Hope I could finish the next one already, mwehehehehe, thank you so much! and so sorryyyy for making you wait. (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

#lhecxzsa #natasha marvel #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha x reader

121 notes · View notes

notlhecxzsa · 1 month ago

Note

Girl, where's The Great War?

I'll try my best to update tonight! (Asian time) MWA LOTS SORRY FOR MAKING YOU WAIT :((((

#lhecxzsa

1 note · View note

notlhecxzsa · 1 month ago

Note

Sooo you still didn’t update. Are you going to update it or not? Because you say you will and than you don’t do it

I KNOWWW, I'M SO SORRYYYY, school's been soooo busy, but I think I'll be able to update today! I promiseeeeee

#lhecxzsa

1 note · View note

notlhecxzsa · 1 month ago

Text

OMGGG I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO UPDATEEEEEE IM SO SORRYYYYY

#lhecxzsa

1 note · View note

notlhecxzsa · 1 month ago

Note

Heyyyy I am so sorry for asking and please don’t feel pressured to answer but are you gonna update the Great War? I don’t want to stress you ml have a great day <3

HOLAAA, OMG I'm so so sorry for making all of you wait huhu, we had our research defense weak then after that our exam week, buttt it's all done nowww! after meeting with my band mates tomorrow for practice, I'll get started on writing the next chapter, maybe even finish it and posting it right awayyyy! so glad some people are still waiting for updatesss, I've been gone for too long :(mwa tons and lots (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

#lhecxzsa #nony

2 notes · View notes

notlhecxzsa · 2 months ago

Note

Hi, it would really be nice if you put your age in your bio since you write 18+ fics. I hope you won't take this as something offensive because I love your works.

hiii, omg i just saw thissss, thank you for telling and reminding me! I'll do it right away, mwehehehee (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

#lhecxzsa

1 note · View note

notlhecxzsa · 2 months ago

Text

i miss you all the time, dennn, feel so happy rnn

Who Do I Look Out For?

Word count: 5.7k

Pairings: Avenger Natasha Romanoff x Agent Female Reader

Tags | Warnings: +18, fluff & angst combo but mostly angst, Natasha has a penis, pregnant reader, traumatized Natty, smut, mutual masturbation, top!Natasha, bottom!reader, soft sex (yes please), not gonna tell you everything sorry…

Author's Note: Finally! First series done! Thank you for keeping up with this one y'all, I hope y'all will still keep up with my next fics after what I did here...this is actually not the plot I originally planned but I liked how this one turned out, I love y'all hehe don't hate me👉👈 posting this even if it's still not appearing in the tags because I posted this couple of hours ago and someone was able to reblog it, so if ever you saw that one pls ignore and I hope they were able to see my message and delete the reblog ;((

MINI SERIES: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

⧗

“Natasha I am here, baby’s here.” Gently, you pulled away. You took her hand and placed it on your swollen belly.

Her hand on your stomach trembled as she felt the warmth of your skin and the life growing inside you. Slowly, her other hand reached up to cradle your face, her fingers gently stroking your cheek. You leaned your forehead against her.

“Feel me, I’m here.”

⧗

You both made your way through the grocery store, Natasha was behind you making sure she could see you but there was a noticeable distance between you and her, as always Natasha thought. You stayed a few steps behind her when she dragged a cart near the counter and hardly spoke. But Natasha made sure to check on you, she glanced over her shoulder at you a few times, but you were lost in your thoughts, seemingly oblivious to her concerned gazes.

As you continued to follow Natasha through the aisles, your eyes were uncontrollably drawn to anything related to strawberries. You began gathering every strawberry product you laid eyes on, strawberry yogurt, strawberry jam, dried strawberries, even a strawberry candle–and placed them in the cart.

“At this rate, we'll need an entire fridge just for strawberry products,” she joked, nervous if you're going to respond or not but to her surprise, you did.

“Mhm,” came your brief, yet music to Natasha's ears. Even that simple sound of response was enough to bring a smile to her face, just a monosyllabic response felt like a small victory for her. It’s been getting hard for her to read you, one second you’ll talk to her and then in a snap you won’t. What’s worse is that most of the time you really won’t.

Natasha watched you from a small distance as you searched for any strawberry related product, her smile widening each time you found a new item to add to the cart. Though you had been distant lately, this moment felt like a return to normal, if only for a brief while. She enjoyed seeing you so animated and distracted, even if it was only over something as piffling as strawberries. Natasha found herself secretly hoping this mood would last a little longer.

Your eyes locked onto a carton of strawberry juice box that seemed to taunt you from the top shelf, just out of your reach. With a determined look on your face, you rose on your tiptoes, attempting to stretch as far as possible to grab it. But as you did, your protruding baby bump proved to be stopping you, preventing you from reaching it.

You were about to call for Natasha when you noticed a woman talking to her—a striking beautiful woman.

As you observed the lady speaking to Natasha, a wave of insecurity washed over you. Her beauty and poise were undeniable and involuntarily, you found yourself comparing yourself to her in your mind.

You noticed her flawless skin, blonde long silky hair not like Thor though and she was wearing a tight dress that flexed the curve of her body. Against your own form–heavy with the weight of pregnancy and marked by the effects of hormones–and the overall feeling of being less physically attractive.

You couldn't help but be conscious of what you're wearing, you were just wearing a spaghetti strap, a long cotton cardigan jacket on top of it and a boho ruffled skirt. But you don't actually feel like it's about what you're wearing, you feel ugly.

As you continued to observe, your mind now focused on the interaction, it became clear that the woman was not just making casual conversation or maybe asking your girlfriend. Her body language was unmistakably flirty, leaning in, touching Natasha's arm and giving her a coy smile.

Your girlfriend, however, seemed oblivious to the woman's advances or chose to dismiss them. Her responses were polite but short and she subtly distanced herself whenever the woman tried to get too close. You actually hated your girlfriend for being like this, it happened many times already. When someone is trying to hit on her, she would either ignore or wait for you to come around to rescue her.

Natasha was trying to finish the conversation with the woman that she didn't even start, but when she sees you, it feels like being saved. She smiled, anticipating that you would add another strawberry item to the cart. However, her smile faded as she watched you place the kitchen knife in the cart instead. She shot a nervous glance at you as you pretended to fix the items you placed in the cart. Her heart rate slightly picked up in concern and fear.

The woman looked at you with a slightly stunned expression, as she saw the bump in your stomach. “Oh…” she muttered, the realization finally setting in. She turned back to Natasha, her tone apologetic.

“I didn't realize,” she offered awkwardly.

Oh, how you wish she realized that it was a knife that you put in the cart.

Meanwhile, Natasha, still somewhat oblivious to the woman's previous attempts to flirt, “I gotta go, that's my wife.”

“Oh…”

You were stunned in place as you heard Natasha speak those words. That’s my wife, each word rolling off her tongue effortlessly, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to say. Despite your current status as girlfriends, hearing her declare you as her wife sent a rush of emotions through you. The insecurities that had been weighing heavily on your mind earlier seemed to melt away. You immediately walked out while your girlfriend quickly pushed the cart and hurried after you.

As you walked silently through the store, Natasha could sense that something was off with you, well, it has always been like this, nothing new. She still stayed a few steps behind you, giving you the space you needed, like she always does but she couldn't shake the feeling that she had done something wrong. She then stared at the knife you put on the cart and immediately fished it out and put it in the chip aisle before you could even catch her.

Natasha’s eyes pretended to wander around when you walked back at her only to be drawn to a baby section. She followed your every move as you walked through the aisle with a big smile. She was utterly smitten by you, her heart swelling with affection with every glance. Her gaze kept returning to your stomach, to the tiny bump that she noticed grew more prominent each day. Seeing the bump, the evidence of the life growing inside you, etched an even deeper love in her heart. You were carrying her child and it only made you more beautiful in her eyes.

You were perfect.

Natasha then felt a heatwave of longing as she watched you, the cardigan slipping from your shoulder, revealing the soft skin that she had once traced with her fingers and lips. And she coughed as she tried to avoid the thoughts.

It had been too long since she had touched you, too long that she could only recall in her mind the memories and images of you as she struggled to take care of herself alone. She yearned to feel you quiver beneath her once again, to hear the soft gasps that escaped your lips as she brought you to new heights. The way you would melt into her touch like warm wax, you letting her use you without hesitation. The way you would part your lips, your legs…

“Need help?”

Natasha was abruptly brought back to reality when she heard a man’s voice talking to you. She quickly made her way over to you and the stranger who had approached you.

“She's fine,” She then pointed to the item you were trying to reach and asked, “this one, baby?”

You blinked and gave her a small nod before she reached up and grabbed the item you were trying to get, she placed it on the cart hand and immediately took your hand, pulling you away from the stranger. She finally let go of you when you turned from another aisle but her hand moved to the small of your back, guiding you gently possessively as she looked around the sign of the man.

She doesn't care now, she never made a bold move to touch you, the only time she can be close to you is when she gets to kiss your forehead every morning, she is done being subtle and holding back. She didn't care if she just invaded your space or her act seconds ago would irritate you like how you get irritated by her when she tries to come near your shared bed, because she wouldn't watch any man or anyone get too close with you.

As you turned a corner, you suddenly saw a group of young women who looked like they were still in college. They were all giggling and chatting with each other, and you couldn't help but feel self-conscious, again.

You immediately fidgeted, and pulled your cardigan wishing it would cover your upper body. Being overwhelmed at the situation, you decide that you're done for this day and you immediately head towards the checkout counter.

Natasha trailed behind you, pushing the shopping cart. When she notices your direction, she pipes up, “You're not gonna get anything more, baby?”

You pause for a moment before shaking your head, still feeling a bit insecure and not really in the mood to shop anymore. Natasha picks up on your body language, she notices that you're fidgeting with your cardigan, pulling it tightly around your body. It's a familiar gesture to her, one that you always do when you're feeling insecure.

After you finish paying for your items and the cashier bids you good day, Natasha turns to you with a concerned look on her face. She notices that you're still not quite yourself.

The drive back to the compound was mostly quiet. You sat in the passenger seat of the car, staring out the window, lost in your own thoughts. Natasha glanced over at you occasionally, but she could tell that you weren't quite ready to talk yet—as always.

As she drove, she put on the song “Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You” on the car stereo. The song was special for you because you both always danced together to it in the mornings or after missions when it’s just the two of you. As the song continued to play and your hormones were all over the place due to your pregnancy, making it difficult for you to control your emotions. You could feel your emotions getting the best of you, and you couldn't help but sniffle as tears streamed down your face. And you turned to look at the window to hide your ugly cry face as if your partner hadn't seen it for how long you have been together.

Natasha glanced over at you, noticing you sniffle every now and then but trying to keep her focus on the road. Without thinking, she reached over and took your hand in hers, bringing it to her lips and kissing it tenderly.

As she continued to kiss your hand, Natasha was surprised when you didn't pull it away. Normally, you would have pushed her away when she tried to touch you when you weren't in the mood to be touched, which is most of the time you weren't. However, this time, you let her keep your hand in her lips as she hummed along with the song.

As the song came to an end, a comfortable silence fell over the car. Natasha finally broke the silence by speaking up, her voice soft and gentle.

“You know you're beautiful, right?”

The lump in your throat grew larger, and you could feel tears stinging the corners of your eyes. It was harder than you thought to hold them back, to keep them from spilling out. Stupid hormones.

Natasha squeezed your hand gently, her eyes never leaving the road as she spoke. She needed you to know how she truly felt.

“You know that I could never look at any woman the same way I look at you, right? You’re the absolute most beautiful person in the world to me. Every inch of your skin, every curve and every imperfection, it drives me mad how perfect I find you, baby. I could never take my eyes off you…”

“My beautiful girlfriend, my wife…the beautiful mother of my child.”

You bit your lip, trying to keep yourself from falling apart completely, but it was a losing battle. The tears were building up, threatening to overflow, and you could feel your heart twisting inside your chest but her words? Oh, Natasha’s words…

Every time Natasha spoke, it was like a balm to your soul. Whether she was showering you with praise and affection or offering reassurance when you needed it most, her words always managed to touch you in a way that nothing else could. The way she expressed her love and devotion through her words and actions even though at times you weren’t making things easy for her. No matter how many times you heard her sweet words, they still had the power to make you feel adored and loved, reminding you of the deep love you have for the woman despite your hormones making you hate her.

As the tidal wave of emotions overwhelmed you, you couldn't hold back anymore. With a shaky breath, you finally looked over at Natasha with your ugly ass cry face—your face was a mess of tears and snot.

“Hi mama.”

Natasha held your hand in her lips and you laughed at her nickname, it was as though all your insecurities were briefly forgotten. The weight of your negative thoughts and doubts evaporated for a moment, as if a wave had come and washed the shoreline clean. Despite the emotional storm that had just occurred, Natasha’s ability to bring levity to the situation was one of the many things you adored about her.

You bite your lip as you look at her driving, “Baby wants some ice-cream.” You said in a soft murmur and Natasha couldn’t help but melt right then and there, finally hearing your beautiful voice.

“Oh really? I think baby is making mama want some ice-cream.” Natasha accused as she pointed to your tummy, your hand still in her hand.

And that earned another point from Natasha when you giggled again, much longer and louder this time.

⧗

You finally arrived at the compound and you entered your shared bedroom with Natasha, ice cream still in hand, and settled onto the bed. As you took bites of the sweet treat, Natasha busied herself with arranging the groceries in the mini fridge she brought for you since she knew you were pregnant.

The room was quiet, save for your soft sounds of satisfaction as you continued to enjoy your ice cream. There was a sense of comfort and domesticity in the air, a normalcy that was somehow both strange and familiar after all that had happened.

As Natasha finished putting all the strawberry items you hoarded in the grocery store, she removed her leather jacket, revealing the tank top underneath. Then, she shimmied out of her pants, revealing a pair of black boxers that did little to hide the bulge straining against the fabric. You paused, ice cream mid-lick, as you openly gawked at her. The cold treat dripped onto your hand, but you barely noticed, too preoccupied with the sight before you.

You instinctively ate the ice cream in the same way you sucked her. The motion reminded you of the way you had kneel in front of her, face between her thighs, eager to taste her, to please her as she guided you through it.

Spike in sex drive, check.

“I’m gonna shower,” she said, she did not look at you as she immediately went to grab her towel. You on the other hand are all sticky, fingers…and down there. You licked your fingers as you took the final bite of the ice-cream cone.

Only if you knew how much she needed you inside the shower.

Natasha stepped into the shower, the cold water spraying against her flushed skin. She turned the knob all the way to the left, seeking relief from the heat she felt. But it was no use. Her body ached for release, for your touch. The cold water did nothing to cool the fire burning within her.

Two months had passed since what happened and Natasha still struggled to cope. She felt lost, alone, and unheard. The distance between you two only made things worse. She found herself unable to take care of herself, her daily routines a constant reminder of her loneliness. The shame and frustration built up inside her, manifesting in these secret moments of self-relief in the bathroom and shower. She longed for your touch, your comfort, your presence.

“Oh, Y/N…” she moaned, her voice barely audible over the shower. “Y/N…” She pictured you on your knees before her, taking her entire cock into your mouth, your hands caressing her thighs, her hips.

As the water continued to cascade down her body, Natasha's hand picked up pace, stroking her length with desperate need. Her other hand pressed against the shower wall, fingers digging into the tile as she rode out the waves of pleasure. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,”

Natasha's breath hitched as her fantasy took over. She imagined your fingers trailing up her back, drawing her closer, urging her to thrust deeper into your mouth. Her hand mirrored her fantasy, tightening around her base and pumping faster, deeper.

“Y/N,” she gasped, her voice barely a whisper as she called out for you. Her body convulsed, her knees buckling as she found her release. Her forehead resting at the cold tile of the bathroom.

While you were slumped and laying in bed. The cold ice-cream did nothing to ease the heat your body is feeling now. Your hands slipped beneath the hem of your skirt, slowly sliding upwards.

Your fingers brushed against your damp panties, you couldn't hold back a soft gasp. You could feel how wet you were. With a trembling hand, you pushed your panties aside, your fingertips grazing your slick folds.

You closed your eyes, imagining Natasha's touch instead of your own. Her gentle caress, her loving touch, her passion. Your breathing hitched as you slowly parted your wet folds, your fingers sliding along your crease. You bit your lip to muffle a moan, your hips rising to meet your hand. You curled your finger, rubbing against your sensitive wall, and your other hand reached up to pinch your nipple through your top.

The dual stimulation was almost too much to bear. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you imagined Natasha's face, her lips, her touch. You then focused on your clit, rubbing it in circles and your free hand fumbled with your shirt, finally freeing your breast.

“Natasha…” you whimpered, your voice barely a whisper. Your finger rubbing your clit fast, this is the only way you could make yourself come, not the same way Natasha does. Her ways were much, oh so much better. She has different ways on how to make you come and beg for more.

Your breath coming in short pants. “Natasha, please…” you moaned louder, arching your back, your body tensing as the pressure built inside you.

And finally, your body shook violently as your orgasm hit, you buried your fingers deep inside you and you spasmed whenever it hit your clit. You feel your eyes droop and in just a few moments you’re already asleep.

Natasha emerged from the bathroom, a towel on her shoulders. Her face pale and her eyes guilty. And when she approached the bed, she saw you already deep in sleep beneath the covers, your breathing slow and even.

Only if she knew that your fingers were still knuckle-deep in your pussy behind the thick covers of the duvet.

⧗

“Can you go with me? I have a check-up with Dr. Cho.”

Natasha’s heart raced as she processed your words. You never asked for her to accompany you with Dr. Cho appointments before, usually you would go with Wanda or Yelena, literally anyone but not her. So the sudden request caught her off guard. But, she quickly nodded, afraid that you might take it back.

“Of course, I’ll come with you. Thank you, baby. Thank you for asking me to come with you.”

You just nodded along, your mind preoccupied with thoughts of your upcoming appointment or rather with the thought of Natasha going with you for the first time. Your hand absently rubbed your stomach, caressing it. And the redhead watched you, her eyes lingering on the gentle movement of your hand, she longed to touch your belly and talk to the mini me that is growing inside you.

“Do we go now? Or later?”

“I wanna go now.”

As you both walked to the medical bay, you found yourself not lagging behind Natasha like you usually did. Instead, you were walking beside her, close enough that your arms brushed against each other. Without thinking, you reached out and grabbed onto her arm, your fingers wrapping around her strong bicep.

The redhead couldn't help but smile, “I got you, Y/N.”

“Hi mama.” Dr. Cho greeted you, you offered the doctor a smile and then Natasha appeared at the frame of the door, “...and mommy.”

“Well then, let’s get started mommies?” Dr. Cho said excitedly. The doctor tried to talk you out of it, giving you advice not just for your relationship but for the future of your child. And by seeing you and Natasha now, she is very happy with the progress.

Dr. Cho ushered you to lie down on the bed. Natasha moved to help you, her strong hands gently supporting you as you climbed up. She adjusted the pillow behind your head.

“You can sit there, Romanoff.” Cho motioned on a chair beside the bed.

Once you and Natasha were settled comfortably on your own, Dr. Cho began preparing the ultrasound equipment. She moved your shirt upward and squirted a generous amount of gel on your exposed belly, the cool liquid making you shiver slightly.

“So, how many weeks are you now, Y/N?” Dr. Cho asked, her eyes focused on the screen. The doctor wants to make sure you are counting and aware about your weeks and the progress of your pregnancy. Before you could reply Natasha spoke up, “21 weeks,” she said confidently, reaching out to your hand.

You weren't mad at all that Natasha answered for you. In fact, you felt a warmth spreading through your chest at her words. She had been keeping track, even though all this time you had pushed her away. The realization shocked you—her dedication and care for you hadn't wavered, despite your coldness, despite your not making it easy on her.

“Good, it's good you're keeping up with Y/N's pregnancy,” Dr. Cho said, nodding approvingly.

“Of course.”

“Let's see if your little one wants to cooperate today,” Dr. Cho said, moving the transducer around your belly. She pointed at the screen. “Alright, there's the head, and that's the spine. Those are the limbs... Ah, now we can see the profile. And…”

Natasha's eyes were fixed on the screen, taking in every word Dr. Cho said—she tried. Suddenly, her gaze flickered down your belly seeing the scar she was very familiar with, and for a moment, she was transported back to that dreadful day. You were pale, unconscious and the doctor beside you was not Dr. Cho.

“Romanoff, your baby is healthy and developing just like it should. All the organs, muscles, limbs and bones are in place.”

Her body stiffened, and without a thought, she snatched her hand away from yours, breaking the connection she has been trying to fix for months. Her breath hitched, and she blinked rapidly, trying to dispel the sudden, unwanted memory. The room fell silent and Dr. Cho paused, looking concerned.

“Natasha?” you called out for her. Already missing the warmth of her hand to yours.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” Natasha muttered, apologizing over and over. She stepped backwards and that's when your heart dropped, you didn't want to see her backing up. Not now, you were rebuilding what you both lost.

“Natasha, what’s wrong? Come back here.” You asked worriedly as you tried to sit up.

She shook her head, swallowing a lump on her throat, “Sorry, I’m…sorry.”

“Natasha!” you bawled, trying to heave yourself out of bed as the redhead turned and fled the medbay. You screamed her name again, your heart racing, but she didn't come back. Dr. Cho rushed to catch you, fearing you’d fall.

Defeated, you crumpled back onto the bed, tears spilling over. You clutched at Dr. Cho, burying your face in her scrubs.

“She left again...she promised she’d stay…”

Eventually, Dr. Cho and Bruce managed to calm you down enough to return you to your room. Wanda immediately rushed to the medbay when she heard about you, and once again you heard her cursing your girlfriend’s name as she walked you to your room.

“I am going to kill her, I swear.”

Your bestfriend insisted on staying with you but you wanted to be alone.

And here you are, alone once more, curled up on your shared bed, staring blankly at the wall. You refused to continue the check-up without Natasha by your side. Without her, everything felt pointless.

Hours more passed, and you remained unmoved on the bed, staring blankly at the wall. You'd barely blinked, save for the occasional tear that would slide down your cheek. The pain in your chest grew sharper, intensifying with each passing moment. You hugged your belly protectively, as if shielding the baby from the emotional turmoil.

“She should be here…mommy should be here…” you murmured, tears sliding down your cheeks. You felt abandoned, alone.

“Mommy will never leave us, she promised.”

⧗

Natasha finally returned, her hands shaking as she opened the door to your shared room. She froze when she found you on the bed, looking so small and vulnerable. She didn't want to look at you anymore, because all she could feel was guilt so she immediately made her way to the bathroom.

“Are you drunk?” you asked plainly, making the redhead stop in her tracks. She breathed as she turned, she couldn't respond, her voice stuck in her throat as she saw you sit up on the bed. The room was dark, but her eyes adjusted enough to see your tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes.

You could smell the alcohol on her from across the room, the acrid scent burning your nostrils. It mingled with the lingering perfume she always wore, creating a sickening combination.

“You left me there alone, you know that right?” you said, your voice cracking with emotion. “Not just me, but our baby. You left us there, I called for you but you didn’t even look back.”

Natasha’s face paled as you spoke, her eyes welling up with tears. “I-I’m so sorry,” she stammered, her voice barely a whisper. “I’m so, so sorry. I never meant to... I didn’t think... I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I just…”

You watched her breathe hard, her chest heaving with sobs as she paced back and forth across the room. She trembled as she brushed her hairs out her face, she then buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking with quiet, desperate tears. She was a mess, her usually composed self crumbling before your eyes.

“I feel like... I feel like I have no right to be like this,” Natasha finally spoke, her voice hoarse from crying. “But I paid for it, Y/N. What I did to you, I paid for it. Every night... every night, I always dream of losing you.”

Seeing her in such a state, you couldn't just stand there anymore. You moved towards the bed, your body tensing as you tried to stand straight despite the baby bump.

“I…I saw you there, you were laying in bed. At…at first I thought you were dead,” Natasha looked up at you with red, swollen eyes, her face contorting with fresh grief as she relived the memory.

“He...he threatened to kill you,” Natasha continued, “In front of me. He would wave the knife in front of me, he would laugh and then he would get mad, saying that if I dare to move an inch, he would do bad things to you.”

“And every night, Y/N, every night, I would dream about that. I would dream about not being able to save you…a knife on your…”

You immediately rushed to her and you both ended up on the ground, you gently pulling Natasha into a tight embrace. Her head rested on your shoulder as she continued to cry, her body shaking against yours.

“B-but I killed him, baby. I did, you’re safe now. Our baby…we…we are safe…you are safe…” she pulled you closer to her, “I killed him, I killed him…no one will ever hurt you anymore, I killed him. You’re safe.”

Feeling her cling to you desperately, her words coming out in a panicked, disjointed rush, she was still trapped in that nightmare and you didn’t know. You pulled her even closer, wrapping her in a protective embrace.

“Natasha I am here, baby’s here.” Gently, you pulled away. You took her hand and placed it on your swollen belly.

“Feel me, I’m here.”

“I need to feel you, Y/N. I need to feel you, all of you.”

Understanding her unspoken request, you captured her lips with yours, you poured all of your love and reassurance into the kiss. Your tongue delved into her mouth, tangling with hers as you deepened the kiss, wanting to chase away the last vestiges of her nightmare and replace them with the comfort of your presence.

Natasha stood guiding you both to your feet. She led you backward toward the bed, still not letting go of your lips.

In the blink of an eye, your clothes vanished, leaving your naked bodies pressed together, skin against skin. The sudden lack of barriers between you sent a shiver of desire through you both. Natasha's breasts flattened against your chest as she leaned down, her lips finding yours once more in a searing kiss.

As Natasha settled between your thighs, you could feel her hardness pressed against your lower belly, hot and heavy. The sensation sent a thrill through you, and you wrapped your legs around her waist, pulling her even closer.

“Natasha…feel me…”

Her fingers gently caressing your folds, finding you already wet and ready. She coated her length with your slickness, positioning herself at your entrance. She looked into your eyes, her own filled with raw, unbridled desire.

With a slow, gentle thrust, Natasha entered you, her eyes locked onto yours. She was so gentle, so tender, as if you were the most precious thing in the world.

“My angel,” she whispered, her voice hoarse with emotion.

Natasha began to move, her hips rolling in a slow, sensual rhythm. Each thrust was careful and measured, allowing you to adjust to her size. She peppered your face with soft kisses as she made love to you, murmuring sweet words of devotion. “My love, my heart, my everything…”

You wrapped your legs tightly around her waist, pulling her even deeper. The new angle made her touch that spot inside you that drove you wild.

“N-Natasha…” you moaned, your fingers digging into her back as you clung to her.

She could feel all of you now—your heat, your wetness, your pulsating walls, the warmth of your skin and your beating heart, “Oh, Y/N…” she breathed, her body trembling as she held herself deep.

With a final, powerful thrust, Natasha buried her face in your neck and shattered. Her hot seed spilled into you, her whole body convulsing with the force of her release. You clung to her, your own completion washing over you like a wave as you called out her name. “N-Natasha...Natasha…”

You gently unwrapped your legs from around her waist and brought your hands up to hold her face, your thumbs brushing away the tears that had escaped her eyes.

“Forgive yourself, Natasha…”

She shook her head violently, “N-no…you’re here!”

But none of it had been real.

Natasha looked around the room, there was never a grocery, her eyes taking in the clothes strewn across the floor, some still bearing the scent of you that she couldn't bear to wash away especially the strawberry products she reminded of you. Your pregnancy tests, empty bottles and wrappers littered the nightstand, evidence of her neglect of herself. And the lifeless bunch of flowers Clint had given her months ago that was for your funeral. The wilted, dried-out blooms lay scattered on the floor, petals falling like tears, a harsh reminder of reality.

You would always tell Natasha how you liked Thor's hair and Thor, had vanished from Earth and hasn't come back yet since your death. Morgan had stopped playing salon because she would only play it with you.

Wanda had to moved out, her powers growing unstable and you are the only one who could calm her down. Also, the threat of harming your girlfriend had forced her to leave.

She never had to deal with your mood swings or food cravings, because all she had to deal with is that fact that she wasn't really to save you and now you are gone forever.

Tears spilled down Natasha's cheeks as she stared at the pregnancy result she had found after the funeral, the cruel irony of it all crashing down on her. She hadn't just failed to save you, but also the innocent life growing inside you. The knife that took your life had also claimed the tiny, fragile being you both had created with love.

The ghostly visions, the heart-wrenching conversations, the passionate embraces...they were all figments of her grief-stricken mind. A desperate attempt to cope with the reality of your loss.

“I was here. You need to let me go, you need to let us go.”

458 notes · View notes