#hurting him and not realizing why it feels like tearing down every accomplishment youve made and he doesnt

[ever-after-aaa]

This prompt........ i had some thoughts. One of my favs

Tim Drake and Jason Todd are both halfas. They just don’t know it for a while.

HI BONES I JUST WOKE UP FROM THIS DREAM AND HAD TO SHARE.

There’s something recogonized between them, when Robin meets Red Hood in Titan’s Tower. But it’s a mystery to both of them what - especially Jason. There’s no reason for the new Robin to reek of the Dead - not like him. 

The truth comes out a few years later, in hushed whispers of a desperate Tim Drake - something is happening that reminds him of something terrible: after the first week of truly being in the Robin suit, he has a gap in his memory of weeks. Okay a couple months, accurately.

He’s hidden this well - the gap is after he’d taken a fairly serious injury, something that nevertheless had a relatively low recovery time. So Batman and Nightwing never noticed that it caused him to, technically, die. And like hell Tim would tell them that, especially then.

The thing is that few missing months.

Tim has put together what happened in those months; he’d always kept copious notes for himself. And Bruce and Dick shouldn’t be bothered if he has a bit of amnesia.

After he “died” he was Robin - notes on his computer tell him what he did, notes in the Batcomputer fill him in on the cases. But the notes never refer to himself as Tim. And the tone and methods for what he did - well, they're like Tim’s. Tim can follow all the logic in them. They just seem… off somehow. 

But there’s no memory left to him, between that moment when his heart stopped in the Robin suit to a moment, months later, of waking up in the Medbay after Dick rescued him from the Drake household - targeted by a magic user with questionable morals who claims he was dead and wrong. 

So he was checked out by Constantine or Zatanna or someone and they confirmed that no, that’s not the case and that’s definitely Tim in the body.

Once they get there.

The thing is, the more Tim looked into it, the less he thinks that rogue magician was actually mistaken. He’s a little faster now, a little stronger. Sometimes it’s like he’s invisible, or hanging just a little too long in the air on the grapple - but in the next moment, that’s gone, and he’s just Tim again. Human Tim.

So a couple years later when Jason shows up, and there’s that Recognition - Dead to Dead - that he gets from no one else… the memories start filtering in. Now Tim has the memories of being - well - a ghost, in the Ghost Zone, desperately searching for a way back, a way home, filtering in.

Now for a couple years after that beatdown in Titan’s Tower - a beatdown that should have left him truly dead, or healing for months longer - but his recovery time has always been faster since those missing months, especially in the minutes and hours right after the injuries, where they’re easier to hide a bit. Now there’s a threat to all the ghosts in Gotham, and Jason and Tim wind up in deep.

Hunted by the Guys in White.

And Jason is angry because maybe he’s a weird undead reanimation of a corpse, but Tim sure isn’t and these bastards aren't touching his little brother. And Tim is all like “So there’s this thing that happened.” and he’s (falsely) convinced that if Jason just left him Jason would be okay and the GIW would stop hunting them.

And Jason is gobsmacked - and smacked with memories. Memories he didn’t… really have before, not through the Lazarus haze. Not really. Memories of being Tim.

And then the Dates slot together in his head and oh shit oh shit oh shit.

The day Tim died and something possessed him? Was the day Jason crawled out of his grave and was found, catatonic, on the streets.

And the day Tim regained control of his body.

Was the day Jason was shoved into the Lazarus Pit.

Fuck. He hurt his baby brother more than he ever realized. Fuck.

(They eventually figure out, maybe with a bit of help after they rescue some more experienced ghosts from the assholes in white, that Tim… really would have died fully that day, had Jason’s ghost not possessed his body, bringing it back to life, heart beating and lungs breathing. And he kept it breathing until Tim was called back to it. And the effort Jason put into that - breathing and beating and keeping that living spark alive - was the jump Jason’s own body needed to truly wake up from his grave.)

Yeah so anyway they both say to the GIW: no you don’t not MY fucking BROTHER you don’t. And so do all the other Bats. 

And the GIW is fucked.

[neko-rogers]

Relax

Square Filled: Shower Sex ; created for @spnkinkbingo

Synopsis: All you want is to take a nice steamy shower and compensate for the sleep you’ve been longing ever since you began hunting for a vampire nest.

Words: 2760

Forewarnings: NSFW 18+, foreplay, cunnilingus, intercourse under the shower, implied oral (male receiving), and the sad fantasy of running water being wasted.

A/N: Don’t try this at home, it’s really freaking dangerous and you could slip. Plus you’re obviously going to waste tons of gallons of water.

The silver knife that had been covered with blood from an earlier hunt still slashed keenly through the vampire’s neck, creating a loud gushing sound as it glides from it’s flesh. The second afterwards was seeing the beheaded body fall to his knees and concrete ground while blood oozed out from everywhere.

Your heartbeat continued to race, with your chest heavily heaving and head feeling light-headed from all the action. Meanwhile your hands and face were covered with an excessive amount of blood stains while your outfit was completely dirty. Though you couldn't thank yourself enough for having to finish the job already since it meant that you could get some rest that should compensate for the previous days.

"Y/N!" You picked up Sam's hoarse voice immediately from the dozens of hallways of the building. He was calling your name out for moments until you saw a flashlight flicker across the room from you.

Sam then placed his pistol back into where it was once he saw you standing there with a deceased creature behind. He hurried to where you stood as you dropped the large knife to the ground, which echoed a clashing sound around the area, and enveloped the Winchester’s body with your filthy arms. His musky scent filled your nostrils even when everything was completely covered in grease, you could still smell library books attached to his button-up. “Dean and I were looking for you these past few days, you could’ve left a note in the bunker or texted before you stormed off.

“I did text you guys.” You pulled back from the embrace and realized how guilty you were immediately since you only had texted them the moment you were about to head for the vampire’s nest you had been tracking a few months ago.

He continued to remind you that informing him that you were passing by at Sunnyside Diner and stating about solving a case wasn’t actually comforting at all for them. You held them worried for days whereas all they wanted was to keep you safe, therefore you couldn’t even look up directly at Sam and apologize because of the shame.

“Look, Sammy, I’m sorry about that and I realized how dumb I was to not leave a note to where I was heading−”

Heavy steps followed and you could hear Dean’s voice this time, calling for Sam’s name until he ended up finding the both of you. He had the ivory pistol secured around his dominant hand though he angled it down when he got closer and recognized your unwashed face. You couldn’t tell if the look on his face was relief that they finally found you or resentment due to your bold move of leaving the bunker without any context.

“Y/N.” The tone of his voice crumbling.

Dean was pleased to see you as a whole, don't get him wrong, he could finally sleep at night better than when you were not around. But he couldn't help himself once his emotions got the best of him and began acting too overprotected over you, "Goddammit Y/N didn't I tell you to keep yourself safe and always tell us where you're heading to?" His voice sounded demanding rather than a question.

With the younger brother caught up between the sudden conflict, Sam watched as you exchanged aggressive dialogues towards one another. You were tired and accomplished a case, no one could do anything anymore as everything that had to be done is done. There weren't any excuses left so you were exhausted to even argue. "Dean I'm sorry and I know I shouldn't have done what I did–"

"No. You don't get to pull the sorry card up your ass again," Dean stated and took a deep breath before rubbing his palm over his face.

He then continued, "My brother doesn't have the guts to tell you this because he's too chicken but you shouldn't be selfish with the hunting business, Sam and I are sick and tired of worrying where you go to everytime because you couldn't even leave a damn note or text me!"

Yeah you did understand Dean. You knew him from the back of your hand and for this scenario, you understood why he got so frustrated with you disappearing from the bunker out of nowhere. It would've been heavy for him especially when you realized that all he wants is to keep you safe – he was traumatized of being left alone or his loved ones to die again since hunting obviously isn't the best lifestyle to engage in.

He has had a hard time processing whether you would still be alive or not. He could never sleep peacefully knowing you could be out in the field being tackles by creatures stronger and more powerful. He loves you too much and hates to even think of you getting harmed. He wants to spend forever with you because you're the last remaining joy and symbol of hope for his fucked up life.

Though due to your weary condition, you weren't able to understand that. Instead, you felt a struck of guilt and sadness into your thoughts – you were trying to do what was good yet in the end it turns out that you were still the one doing wrongful acts. It hurt and tears began brimming around the circles of your eyelids and within moments, droplets were streaming down yours eyes.

Sam was surprised and felt too bad about it, he knew his brother became a bit hard on you though he didn't want to speak up anymore. Meanwhile the dickhead in front of you realized his mistake as his jaw dropped in awe, "Okay I didn't mean to sound that harsh, I just meant that all Sam and I want is to keep you safe because–"

"I'll wait in the Impala."

And with that you rudely stopped him from explaining further, rather walking past him with a cold aura while stomping your feet along the way. You made sure not to look back, trying to hid the uncontrollable tears from streaming, as you landed outside and instantly caught sight of the black Impala that glistened under the night sky.

It took them longer than usual before they went back into the car yet you couldn't care less because there you were seated at the backseat with dried tears staining your cheeks. Once you heard the car doors unlock, your system sooner dozed to slumber and when Dean started the engine you couldn't remember anything anymore than pitch black since your body was giving up and exhaustion got the best of you.

A light tap on the shoulder awoken you from slumber. Your eyes squinted alongside to see Sam trying to wake you up acknowledging the Impala has arrived in the bunker, your mind was groggy and it was a shame you couldn't continue dreaming – at least you could take that shower already. There you thanked Sam and got off the car.

Immediately, you picked your bag then went straight to the doorway and to your room, ignoring Dean along the way when he tried to look at you passing by. You were purposely being cold to him and could tell he was genuinely guilty about it. He even tried to open his mouth thought not a word came out from his tongue.

Once you dropped your gear and swept it under the bed, you grabbed a towel and went straight for a shower. You closed the door behind and began stripping your clothes off until none was left and you were naked as a bear, dropping every apparel on the floor then moving past the plain, nude-colored curtains.

Next you turned the shower and adjusted the heating system until the temperature was soothing your body perfectly. You moaned out of relief when you allowed the water to run down your body, soaking through your hair and feeling it rinse all the dirt clumped up in your body. You took a handful of liquid soap and dumped it all over your body while shampoo was all over your hair. Then you began to scrub every particle there was latched to your skin while the water was gently streaming down – from either side of your arms then down to the valley of your breasts, you made sure your body wasn't feeling sticky or gross anymore.

As you were midway with the relaxing shower, you heard the door creak open and assumed who it was. "Now isn't the best time to shower together, Winchester."

"C'mon, Y/N, I didn't mean what I said earlier."

You continued to bathe your body as your eyelids fastened and your face was directed against the shower head with fingers running through your tangled locks. There you were ignoring anything Dean was stating, even if the only thing separating the two of you was the shower curtain between.

But that didn't stop him from bugging the hell out of you. Within moments of avoiding a conversation with him inside the bathroom, you heard the curtains move aside while hands enveloped around your bare waist – it was Dean already naked and joining you in the shower without even having to ask you if he could.

He quickly shushed you before you could react furthermore, "Relax."

His soft hand pressed against your upper back while his other reached for the bottle of soap and squeezing an amount onto your skin before placing it back. He began to massage your body, starting it off with his thumb doing circular motions at the lower back of your neck while his other fingers gripped around your shoulders.

Then he eventually advanced lower, sensing his muscular arms on either sides of you. His hands pressed lightly against your breasts at first while you let out a gasp and felt your body betraying you as the area between your thighs began to soak with your arousal despite the fact that you were submerged with running water already. “You like that?” Dean sensually teases.

And just like that your body gave into the scene and melted into a puddle. You nodded for Dean and you let your back relax against his sturdy torso, allowing him to lead you on with what he plans to do to help you ease yourself.

Firstly, you looked to your side only to be met with soft lips that swiftly progressed with your mouth. He tasted like the typical combination of fast food and beer, though you didn’t mind as you got used to it, as he subtly tugged your lower lip between his teeth then releasing promptly.

Without having to sense it at first, he brushed the ends of your hair to one side and lowered his face on the other until his lips could press against a part of your neck. Dean began to suck against the sensitive skin while continuing to knead onto your breasts. He even bit down and nibbled with certain areas between your neck and shoulders until pink bruises were forming and your body ached harder for him.

Then he spun you around until he got the magnificent view of your breasts bouncing out for him. With a sudden move, Dean’s mouth lapped onto one of them and began to swirl the tip of his tongue around your sensitive nipples. You took a few steps backward and stopped when you felt your back lower onto a flat surface just around the corner. Though he didn’t stay fondling around with your breasts for longer as his mouth unfastened and left the usual love bites at the area. It tickled you for a bit but mostly sent a kindling sensation throughout your body.

His mouth went downwards further, reaching over your midriff and leaving trails of kisses until it resulted with him pressing his lips firmer onto your clit. He knelt down onto the floor while continuing to eat your cunt out, swathing from your folds and delving further to earn a taste of the wetness formed from earlier. You couldn’t help but extend your arms out and jerk a handful of his hair. When you looked beneath, you were caught with the view of the water running along Dean’s toned back, seeing it glisten through the light which created the effect of his body looking more wonderful whereas his face was completely buried under your pussy. “You taste so sweet, princess.”

Another thing was he attempted to dip a finger inside you, pumping it inside and outside while you let out a soft groan. He tried to add another finger but this time you concluded that his touch and tongue wasn’t enough for the throbbing of your sex, craving for more specifically his cock impelling inside of you. “Dean, I need more.”

He murmurs, “Tell me what you want, baby.”

“I need your cock inside me,” you whine while he chuckles at you knowing that a few hours you despised him but now you were pleading.

Dean straightened himself in front of you now, leaving your pulsing nerves for a short while reaching for one of your legs and hoisting it up which gave him a better angle to penetrate himself inside you. Meanwhile his cock was totally erect and stood out before having to align himself with your entrance – even with the sight of it, you could already imagine it filling your insides and repeatedly propelling your walls.

Oomph.

He didn’t ask once more for a permission from you before skimming his fingers over your folds then fisting his cock and guiding it until you could feel is sink inside you. Your mouth gaped open when Dean began to thrust his hips forwards and backwards as you tried to grip around his arms or any handle to stay in tact. “Baby, you feel so good.”

And even though his size wasn’t that lengthy, he was definitely thick enough for your walls to tighten around and feel your favorite sensation wash through your system. Dean knew how to use his dick, he knew how to please you in many ways than you could imagine and that was one of his most special skills. From trying to hold back your moans which now escalated quickly to being a groaning mess. Your body that was one rinsed off clear from soap now was covered in your perspiration again though wasn’t too obvious because of the phase you both spent here.

The shower room didn’t only echo your voice but Dean’s grunts also. His tone was deep and rigid, even without the sex you always fantasized about his husky accent – the way he gets furious with failed hunts or when things slip out of hand, he gets enraged and usually ends up throwing something across the library out of impulse – that is fucking hot.

“Should this be considered as an apology sex?” he suddenly blurts out subsequent with a short laughter, but you didn’t respond rather gestured him to continue with what he’s doing to you.

Maybe it was your condition that made you closer to your orgasm faster than you normally expect it to be; moreover, you were certain that the fiery intensity that was forming inside your lower abdomen was a sign that you were nearing. Your head felt dizzier than earlier and your temples throbbed fervently because of the temperature of your body rising up. “Are you close, princess?”

Dean obviously had the smug smirk on his face even through with the shower disrupting your sight. He was confident because he knew your body well, how your instincts would act up when you were feeling certain things. In addition to that, he dragged his hand between your inner thighs and began to thumb down to your bud. “You can come, that’s definitely fine for me.”

Then you let out a scream and allowed yourself to release before him. Your fluids dripping down your thighs but the water immediately washed it down the drain before Dean could do anything else. He lets out a heavy sigh of relief when he felt his cock being covered with your warmth as you got down from it, this time it was you who knelt down for him, “My turn.”

His brow raised for a second as his chest was evidently trying to catch a breath yet couldn’t help but smile at the view.

[sexy-cheese]

Rick and Morty Season 3 Episode 6

episode breakdown....and by breakdown I mean me....im breaking down...into sobs and endless sadness and bitter impatient tears....its me. im broken down Stage 1: we see a combination of enlightened rick (er) and toxic rick (tr) trying to get through the trauma of whatever it is they have just survived. Tr would most likely start rampaging, cursing, breaking shit, and trying to kill off anyone around him in a homicidal blur until he calmed down, however er is probably in there wondering why they even did the stupid thing in the first place. Its not their place to meddle. They are an all powerful super being with highly superior intelligence, so why do they feel this horror and trauma for such a worthless gain? Together they neutralize into a 'drink until the pain is gone mentality' henceforth leading to our rick's alcoholism and ideology of the just 'dont think about it' mindset this is the rick we know. The push everything aside, drink, and dont think Stage 2: Tr separates. If you notice, the very first thing he screams when he wakes up is "morty", because naturally it is the first thing on his mind. He frantically searches for him and then calls him a worthless piece of shit, continuously bringing up how stupid and useless he is. This comes from his severe fear of detachment from morty if he were ever to become overly confident and decide he doesnt need his grandpas cool adventures or life style anymore. If a morty gets too confident, he leaves his rick and becomes a sociopath. Normal rick can relatively keep the urge to bring morty's confidence down under control, but tr impulsively spews it out, so damn afriad that morty will wake up and realize he doesnt need him at any moment. He constantly has to cry out and tell him that they need each other, in his own toxic way. Calling him 'a piece of shit' is basically begging him 'dont leave me' he has to make him think he needs him. got it? lets move to the next step of stage 2 tr constantly says things like "im a god" "im above this" "everyone around me is garbage" "you think normal people can do this?" so obliviously this is his narcissism and entitlement, but digging deeper it is also his sense of inner insecurity. now, you may say 'WHAAAT RENATA HOW CAN DAT BEEE?" well lemme splain. basically rick knows how smart he is, he knows how powerful he is, and he knows all the stuff he could do with this power and intelligence....but that's the thing, he really doesnt know all the stuff he could be doing, because he doesnt do it. running around in the toxic can, you can see him panicking, frantically working and running to make stuff and do things. He knows how great he is, but he has no idea how to use it or what he should be doing with it. Think about it, when someone tells you "ayy, your the smartest being in the multiverse and could probably cure the world of every sickness"....wouldn't YOU be a little overwhelmed? He has so much to live up to (an impossible amount) that he hides behind the idea that he doesn't care about any of it. He cant use his power to save the universe, so instead he claims he doesnt care about it. but deep down he feels bad, because he feels like everyone expects him to do something, when in reality theres way too much to do so, to sum up, Toxic Rick is made up of multiple other different things than just narcissism and selfishness and rage...just like toxic morty, he is also his burning insecurity in the fact that hes just a normal man, who happens to be the only person who could ever hope to save the universe....and yet he has no idea how to do it Stage 3: meet enlightened rick. You're thinking, "oh, so THIS is the side of rick that actually COULD save the universe if he wanted because he IS confident enough in his abilities, right?" well the answer is no. this rick doesnt have a flipping clue either. how would he? there is no possible way to save every single multiverse, but unlike tr, instead of letting it consume him in misdirected guilt and insecurity, he instead has (healthily) let it go. Hence the name, he is now 'enlightened' from the worlds problems because he has thoroughly let go of his human need to be the hero and instead surpassed it all in the 'i need not meddle' mentality. BUT. you might ask, "well renaaaatttaaa then why isnt this rick super healthy? why isnt he perfect? why does he seem so interested in getting his other half back?" welll my little reader I have some thoughts. Thought 1) er has no humanity, attachment, purpose, selfworth, or cosmic opinion in himself, the human race, or the universe. why? because he has officially decided that its all pointless anyway and most importantly (big dividing factor here) he is OK WITH THAT. he has accepted the fact that he has surpassed human attachment because he has accessed infinite realities and multiverses to the point where nothing he thought had meaning does anymore. To become fully enlightened, he has let go all of his family, emotions, and self doubts because frankly, he just doesnt give a damn. But in a healthy way? Hes just let it all go, unlike tr who insists he 'doesnt give a fuck' when in fact, he does give millions and trillions of fucks and it eats him alive with each passing day. thoughts 2) so why does er work to get the phone to connect and work at getting his other half back? well he says it right there in the episode when he and confident morty are sitting in the parking lot at school. He says "im accountable to my toxins, right?" he wants to rejoin because he knows that tr has all his intelligence, all his power, and all his guilt wrapped up into a big toxic package. What does this mean? Hes FUCKING DANGEROUS. thats what it means. er is so enlightened, that he knows letting tr do his worst will mean the end of the world. now, for a little while in the episode, he tries to reason with himself and say that he shouldnt meddle in this either, because why is tr any better or worse than he is? but eventually he realizes the truth that tr left unchecked, is bad news for everyone and not worth lying idly back to watch the universe(s) burn. Because yeah...they would all burn Stage 4: now lets watch these two adorable little super humans interact. tr sums it up perfectly when he says "this is the part of your pussy grandpa that keeps it real".....yup. Thats pretty much the whole concept. If youve been paying attention, youve probably already figured out that er isnt exactly as healthy as he thinks he is. The truh of the matter is just sitting back with your thub up your ass like "oh theres no hope in solving ALL the probems, so let me just not interfere at all" is a pretty effed up way to think. Without tr, he probably wouldnt do anything but stay at home with his family and like, build toys electric toys for kids or something. He wouldnt DO anything extraordinary for fear of messing up the fragile stuff of the universe. Tr reminds him what a waste it would be to live a normal life and ignore their vast power. however, tr doesnt know how to use it either, so hence, the fighting breaks out. basically, they just have no idea how to use there god-like intelligence, and it gets ugly for both. even er says 'that stuff is a part of us and we need to put it back.' he knows that in sense he needs it, otherwise his power will be wasted buuuttt.......tr doesnt feel the same way. tr believes that without er, he could possibly become a real man. a real human. a real person who maybe actually cared about things and didnt feel so 'above' everything and so detatched. like a god among people who couldnt really connect with anyone. he doesnt want to go back to that lonely life of being the only one in his realm. this is why he keeps trying to destroy him while er just wants to recombine. Honestly, er is in the right here, (obviously) because he can see the big picture of how they need each other. Also, fun snidbit, tr is clearly the fighter of the two....clearly....and the sexy maker too apparently.....hehe....good to know good to know.....ahem.....anywaaayyyyy but.....looky here.... here I bring you.... Stage 5:tr doesnt give a shit. he doesnt give a fuck, he doesnt give a....oh,....Beth's here?..... he....leaves. immediately. so, here is where we see tr's true weakness, and what er truly hates about himself. He can't even bring himself to be around Beth or put her in any sort of harms way, so he leaves the very second she walks in the door. what does this mean? it is tr, er, and our rick's one true weakness. Truth is, he really cant be fully enlightened and reach his maximum potential, because of his human attachment to his family. Tr probably feels so guilty about leaving Beth (even though it was probably his idea because he was terrified of hurting her) that he cant even stand to look at her. he leaves immediately even though he was technically winning. plain as day, he admits his own true weakness, he just cares too much about his family to ever become truly godlike and reach his full enlightened potential. tr is human, er is the god. but er can see enough of himself to acknowledge that he needs his human self to be a fully functional human being. to truly be...rick. Stage 6 (almost done) and here it is....the moment er truly finally actually comes to terms with the fact that his 'version' of 'health' was actually just what he thought was his true potential. But alas, because the machine choses your version of health based on what YOU think is healthy, this is the issue he realizes. he didnt become healthy, he became his full potential, minus the pain and limits of human emotion. but the truth is, a full, enlightened, god-like potential is kinda useless without compassion and empathy...isnt it? I mean, if you have the power to save, but you just dont care....then whats the point? He realizes that essentially a god that does nothing is no god at all, and even if tr is a toxic, guilty, confused, miserable man too overwhelmed by his own potential to actually fufill it, he will accomplish more than er ever will just because of that energetic will to survive and just flipping DO SOMETHING. he literally realizes in this one moment that he would probably never accomplish anything like this, not without that crazy, overwhelming, miserably human passion that tr harbors in his soul for his shitty life and shitty decisions. and this is when he knows that they have to reunite, just for the sake of not wasting his life. Stage 7: (my personal favorite) ah yes.....the climax of the story. where it all becomes clear. something I havent touched on yet (which i bet you thought i forgot about....you lil scamp) is why tr is trying to make the whole world toxic. Why? simple. he has mistaken his toxic qualities for his humaness. (which in a way is true, but he also got a bunch of bad shit that er probably spends most of his energy keeping on the down low) and so in tr's mind, he isn't 'toxifying' the world, he releasing people's true emotions and true selves. he releasing the raw humanness inside them so they dont have to deal with their superegos always judging them and telling them how to live. he is the id, in a way, freeing all the other id's from their superegos so the world can be a genuine, purely human world. However, obviously, without superego the people are monsters, hence the carnage of the toxified people. to him, this is his way of saving the human world by bringing out their true human nature. unfortunately true human nature is primal and disgusting, but shh.....dont tell him that.....poor innocent bean....look how proud he is.... so proud..... ahem....anyway back to the climax. so now er shows up again and starts talking, lets analyyyyze. first off, er has learned something very important.....its tr's one weakness that he displayed when best walked in, hes afraid of losing/hurting his family. So of course, he targets toxic morty. and er knows this because he doesnt care about morty WHY WOULD HE? there are millions and trillions of mortys. it is beneath his highly superior brain to care, but tr sees the little picture, and in the moment, he needs morty to support him. He needs to latch onto him. he needs the human comfort. he doesnt want to admit that, but he needs it more than anything else in his life. in fact, he needs it so much, he doesnt even think er has the balls to do it, because he thinks he needs it too....but thats just it....he doesnt. and he knows he doesnt need that human connection, which is why he knows he needs his other half back to need it for him and here we have the moment that literally made tears come..... "irrational attachments"......that line just really hurt me bro.....it hurt me good.....it got me right in the soul....yikes. too real. *sniffle* anyway, back to er's rant. he basically sums it up by saying "you are literally incapable of seeing the bigger picture" hence tr's irrational love and dependency for his family, even though er and tr both know there are infinite sanchez families with infinite different fates that they have no way in saving or interfering in any way, tr still for some reason feels emotion towards a morty that really isnt even THE REAL morty. but think about this....its the most insecure morty, right? the one that is the most insecure, helpless morty of them all....its the one that needs him the most. the one that is least likely to ever leave him....*more sniffles* so of course he cares about him. I mean....we've seen what morty is like without him.... i think rick put it best when he called him 'a tiny american psycho'.....which I mean, he would be, right? hes related to rick afterall. with just enough jerry to keep him insecure. at least jerry was good for one thing. and soooo....thats the wayyyyy the news goes. At the very end we see a reunited rick. he even says 'master of both worlds'...meaning he is once again human and god. id and superego, making one highly functioning ego. the rick we know and love. a beautiful mess. so the meaning my friends.....you really shouldnt hate the bad pats of yourself, because at the end of the day, its kind of what makes you....human. wow....this got really freaking long, and I didnt even get into my whole theory about our morty being evil eyepatch morty. (remember in evil eyepatch morty episode where rick says "a confident morty is bad news, ill tell you when youre older".....well I think we know what that means now) yikes....and i thought rick was a handful when he was cocky. so there you have it. Our bread and butter, our saint and sinner, our sexy grandpa and teenage rocker.....our super genius space alcoholic. our rick sanchez. a beautiful chaotic mess.  wubba lubba dub dub bitches.

[amorrain1990-blog]

Tips to dating in 2017

I know what your thinking, "Who needs dating tips?" If your in a relationship OBVIOUSLY this isnt for you. I write this for the single people, not just females, but anyone who is freshly out of a relationship, those who are just tired of the same old experiences and looking for something real, or those who have no idea where to start in this new age era of dating online. Mainly I want to share my experiences with the world. If my words can help anyone, even just a little bit, or make someone laugh and forget about the terrible day they had, then one of my life goals will be accomplished. if your still reading this you must be seriously bored.. Just kidding and honestly thank you to those that decided that this was worth the time. So for a little background on me and why I decided to spend my valuable (not) time putting this together. I am a serial dater. Yes I admit it. Phew, first step to quiting your problem.... Anyways, ever since I started dating at 14 years of age, (if you can call it that when your that young) I never went more than a few months without a boyfriend. At 16 I met who I thought was the man I would someday marry. 6 years later, I woke up and realized that I wasted most my young adult life being a housewife without the big shiny ring and the bragging rights. Well I lasted about 4 days before I was back on the saddle and thinking I was in love again. I of course wasnt. After that ended, I entered another long term relationship. 4 years and a hell of a lot of tears later, I ended it and here I am now. Sitting here pouring my thoughts into Tumblr, knowing full well that no one will ever read this. But im doing this not just for others. Im mainly doing it for me. I made a New Years resolution to stay single all year. Theres been a few hiccups over the first month of the year, but so far still single. Its important to prove to myself that I do not need to be tied down, that I can be my own person and do things without a MAN. ( For clarification, I am in no way shape or form a feminist) Every woman should be comfortable with who they are, and shouldnt have to rely constantly on the male species. Dont get me wrong, I love guys! Who doesnt? Their manly smell, their muscles and of course the all important Penis. Although I enjoy the company and presence of a man, I also want to get down to the real nitty gritty, the foundation that is me. I need answers to important questions like : Who am I? What can I accomplish on my own? And most importantly, What talents do I have to share that will leave my own personal mark on humanity? No answers yet, but eh, its only been a month. Now to get down to the good stuff: Online dating. Ive dabbled for a few years with it. I learned a lot, and not always the easy way. Nonetheless, I would like to leave some imparting (and possibly humorous) words of wisdom. Over the time ive spent online, browsing through guys like a damn Ikea catalouge, I have come to the realization that NO ONE IS EVER AS THEY SEEM. No, dont argue. I do not care if youve added them on facebook and stalked them on Snapchat. CAMERAS CAN LIE. I dont care if he looks like Channing Tatum and Mark Wahlberg had a wacky (albeit ingenious) science experiment and they had a devestatingly handsome baby. Keep in mind filters and angles can make just about anyone look good. That goes for both men and women. Yes ladies im talking about you. If you arent comfortable enough with yourself to let a stranger see the real you, then how do you expect to truly find someone who loves you for you? I am not completely heartless, nor am I a virgin to using a snapchat filter a time or two (or five) but there are ways to keep it real and get away with it. You may be wondering why I brought this up? Heres why: I have had more than once, met some one online, thought they were handsome in their photos,(Yes photos can be altered, but I always look at all photos. They may not show the real guy behind the profile, but there is always a lot you can infer from their pictures. but i will touch bac on that at another time.) Back to my story, I usually am very good at picking out the phonies from the real. Like I said earlier, ive got some experience in this area. So the other day im bored talking to people online and this one guy hits me up wanting to hang out. He was super sweet and his pics werent too bad so I decided to roll with it and take him up on his offer. We talked for a week and to me thats better than most guys who just send a HEY and then ask for nudes. He came to pick me up and when i met him in person I was a little bit dissapointed that his pictures online didnt seem to really look like him too much. But im not shallow so I decided to give him a chance. He was a sweetheart and absolute gentleman, but i just wasnt attracted to him. If theres no chemistry, theres no chemistry. Plain and simple. Cant force it. Anyways, two hours later he dropped me off at home (we just sat and talked the whole time.) Overall i enjoyed the experience but in the back of my mind I knew he wasnt what i was looking for. Not that i know what that is, but maybe someday ill find that story book romance. The kind that takes your breath away and covers your skin with goosepimples. (meh, a girl can dream right?) The sad part is that i considered myself almost a pro at weeding out the guys who i know are a waste of time and those who arent. I had kissed more than my fair share of toads. Like the first time i tried online dating... (Hilarious flashback) I had just started out on this dating app, after getting my heart handed to me extra well done, and i obviously had no clue what i was doing. this kid(i think he lied about his age cause i thought he was 21 or 22, but in person he looked 12) starts chatting with me. We find out that we both liked to smoke and he seemed cool. He wanted to meet and i was lonely and depressed enough that i agreed to let him come over. His profile pics made him look like a redheaded justin beiber and i thought to myself, now brittany, youve never ever had good luck with redheads. But i chose to ignore that side of the brain. He called me unable to find the address so i met him outside. He got out of his car and lets just say, Justin Beiber? not even close. The kid knew that if he did his hair just like beibers in his photos, hed get more girls. But what he didnt realize is that if your going to use that to your advantage, maybe take the time to do it outside of just for your profile pictures. So, he asks what i would like to do, and i can already tell im not going to like this kid. Mainly because he was very indecisive, and i had to eventually tell him what we were going to do because i got tired of getting in and out of his car. So we decide to chill and smoke. My close friends know i can be a bit of a snob when it comes to marijuana. But i was born and raised in california. When your used to the best, other stuff is almost unsmokable. The entire reason i agreed to meet him may have been selfish on my part, he did say he would bring some and i hate smoking alone, so i guess i deserved what happened next. He pulls out his bag and then apologizes because he only brought a nug with him. But after i smelled it and looked at it i told him to forget it and we would smoke what i had. I could tell he was a little immature just from him trying to converse with me. It was obvious he thought this would be a hookup. He was like a teenager on prom night, bouncing around, nervous and looking for an excuse just to touch me. Of course he would be leaving disappointed. Not only was he starting to annoy me, but he brought crappy ass weed to my apartment. If you are a stoner, then you know how insulting that is. Somehow, amid his incessant chatter, a spider had made it to his face and was hanging off his nose. I couldnt stop staring at it! I wondered while he continued to talk, if he felt it at all. I was so fascinated by it i think he finally noticed and tried to slyly wipe at his nose. It took him three tries before he managed to rid himself of the arachnid. And cruelly i had wished it would bite him just so he would leave. As if my lack of effort in his one sided conversation wasnt enough of a clue that i wasnt interested, he then proceeded to sit next to me. He complimented me and then asked if he could kiss me. I didnt even reply before he leaned in and tried to toungue my closed mouth. I couldnt help it, I laughed. It was like kissing a relative. Not in an incestuous way, but in a awkward and not enjoyable in ANY way. I could tell i hurt his feelings when i pushed him away (the laughing part didnt help either) but at that point i was ready to enjoy the rest of the night with my favorite person: me. Luckily he finally got the hint and announced he was leaving because i obviously wasnt into him or having a good time... I was a little taken aback. I didnt think he could tell that i was getting fed up. I felt bad and lied to him, claiming exhaustion was the reason. Well it didnt work so he finally said he was just going to leave. I was too relieved to care. Needless to say i never talked to him again. Not that he didnt try! You would think a guy would take a hint and find someone who actually liked him. But thats what the block button is for, haha. (yes i know im heartless) And that leads us back to rule #1: Dont always expect to see the guy in the profile picture. 9 times out of 10 they took the pic when they were in highschool 5 years ago, or they angle it just right that you cant tell if theyre obese or not (again, not shallow, ive dated guys of all sizes) Or they just dont know how to take pics at all and look terrible in all of them. OR my personal fav, the guess who. (its where most of their pics are of them with other guy friends, most the time hotter friends, so you spend all this time trying to figure out which one is the actual sn: bicycleman007 or some lame shit. Only to spend the next 10 mins scrolling until i finally find an alone shot only to reveal that he wasnt the one on the left that i thought was hot. (ok this thing is getting longer than i thought. Time to wrap it up lol) One last thing that I think is just as important if not more so than rule number one: Rule #2: TRUST YOUR GUT. No exceptions, no excuses. JUST DO IT. 10 times out of 10 my gut has been right. That May be just a tad bit of an exaggeration, but seriously you will not feel guilt or regret when you follow your gut. Everytime i have followed it, I jump up in the air and do a dance because i was right and i did the right thing and felt so amazing afterward. The unfortunate times i failed to listen to that tiny inner voice, ive wanted to kick myself right in the tit. with boots on. But oh well, you live and learn and grow from it. Or vent on a blog with my absurdly long post. (just for those certain opinionated people, im not always right, everyone experiences things differently and in their own way.. this is just my experience. take it or leave it but dont be a douche about it. lol) Well thats it for now, but i will be putting more of my crazy experiences and tips for dating later. -b