#because i just care too much about wrong things that aren't what's truly important in life

[drysauce]

uni definitely isn't for me but everything else isn't for me either so i have to somehow bear with it i guess

[swans-chirping-in-the-distance]

YOU have a very interesting take on sokeefe. you don't just love every part of it- please elaborate, your tags on anti sokeefe posts are FASCINATING

THIS TOOK FOREVED IM SORRY ILYSM FOR THIS AHDJDLFKWNKDJF

I think one majorly important thing about sokeefe is that precious bond they have with each other. In fact, that's what makes me love the ship so much. It's truly stunning to see such a natural love built on years of trust and support. They clearly display so many different ways of loving, whether it be emotional, physical, mental, or verbal. The way that Shannon captured them is something I'm not sure I've seen anyone else do the same way.

Sophie ignores her feelings for Keefe for the majority of the series and writes it off due to insecurity. And Keefe knew that. Yet, instead of just telling her how she felt, he decided to let her decide how to act. To not rush her or pressure her. To let her make her own decision. He held himself back and let her be with his best friend without telling her, which many adults couldn't bring themselves to do. But he did it for HER. Because he loved her, whether he said it or not. How terrifying must it have been for Keefe to be so vulnerable as to fall for someone when that had made him hurt so much in the past? How terrifying must it have been for SOPHIE, who'd not let herself realize she fell until she was far too gone to come back from this unscathed?

The two are often very physical with each other, from the constant support of holding one another's hand to the gripping hugs late at night when their sobs are louder than their family's disappointment. Not only do they show how they feel about each other with touch, but also with general body language. The comfort of Keefe turning her head gently to look at him. The way they relax around each other, their facial expressions and their hands involuntarily grabbing the other's without a moment's notice. The display of casualty hidden within the deep depths of their relationship. They even manage to think about each other with the same sort of intensity, the determination to keep the other alive and the sheer desperation not to lose the other. They're reliant on each other's safety, not because their lives would be in danger without them, but because a huge part of their happiness would.

The two often joke around with each other, but they know when to stop. They know when it's time to get serious, to remind the other of how high they think of them and how much they care for them. How they'll always be at each other's side. Their words say "I love you" for them. And while they're in terribly traumatic situations and had such different backgrounds, they're the only ones who understand each other. They're absolute foils who were born to be enemies and fell for each other anyway. Their relationship is a beautiful one, but it's also one that's extremely fragile.

Sokeefe's relationship could go wrong in many ways. There are multiple paths towards a toxic relationship that would be really easy for their canon characters to fall into. For example, while for now they help each other stay brave and empathetic, their vulnerability towards each other makes them more prone to toxicity. They're both known for being reckless. How easy would it be to accidentally get the other to do something terrible? Would killing a random Neverseen member be self-defense? Would that really help anyone in the long run? They're traumatized kids forced to lead, like a malfunctioning toy released before it was fixed. They have no idea what they're doing if you really think about it. Who are they to advise the other?

Another issue I've noticed is one that's super minimal now but could become a huge issue. Sophie, being a relatable teen girl, likes apologies for things that hurt her, even if she knows it's technically not the other person's fault. She's not going around asking for apologies that aren't warranted, but she's accepting them. And that usually doesn't matter much, but it does with someone like KEEFE. Keefe, who blames himself for things that aren't his fault because it's all he knows. He feels so guilty for his and his family's existence that he takes it out on himself. And that could turn into a problem. Because a boy who apologizes for everything he didn't do doesn't fit well with a girl who accepts them. Sophie would never want Keefe to blame himself for things more, but she could inadvertently cause it with ease.

On top of all of that, they often struggle with looking at each other realistically and being truly reliable about the other. Keefe doesn't think Sophie's perfect; don't get me wrong. Part of the appeal of Keefe is that he sees her flaws and still loves her through them. But he also doesn't do much to help her fix said flaws. Perhaps it's out of his own insecurity in thinking he has no place to judge others because he believes he's worse, but my point stands nonetheless. And Sophie often forgives too easily, which lowers her own standards while also making sure Keefe can't grow from his mistakes because no one's acknowledging them. They seem to move too fast at times, and slowing down could really help. Get therapy and learn to bite the bad habits in the ass, in a way.

Another interesting aspect of their relationship are the parallels of their own to others. A loyal girl desperate to believe the man she loves is good, even when he keeps doing wrong? A girl who doesn't realize there's a difference between good and right until it's far too late? I think we all saw the ruedacted/ Lodestar sokeefe parallels. And if you took any koralie interaction and changed the names out? Sokeefe moment. It's just so easy for them to end tragically, but they're so desperate for it to work out. They're walking on the most delicate of ice for a chance that they can meet in the middle. They're running across a tightrope, hoping they don't fall to the ground. They're pulling at the web in hopes that they don't get stuck in its fabric, but they ALWAYS do. Sokeefe is a beautiful relationship built on trust and love, but trust and love don't always mean something is good for you. Their entire existence is truly a bittersweet delicacy only to be enjoyed by the most careful of takers.

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

Dream has a nasty habit of giving advice and not taking it himself:

He tells Orpheus to grieve for Euridice(I'm not sure if I spelled that right) and then get over the loss, but he never got over Orpheus' death;

He tells Hob that taking away someone's free will is dishonorable. Yet he imprisons Nada and unmakes Gault for defying him;

He warns the fox lady against revenge but he wastes his precious energy on trapping Alex's mind in a nightmare after he gets freed.

He's such a bastard and I love him

He loves and cares so deeply for everyone, yet he's petty and spiteful. He never stops loving yet he can be so cruel to those he cares about

I don't remember where but I read this somewhere about Dream: "he can love without forgiveness and forgive without love" and I think that sums up Dream pretty nicely. He's full of contradictions and that's what makes me love him as a character so much

you know, ironically, while it's absolutely true that dream can be hypocritical, you're definitely not wrong, those first two actually aren't, as far as he sees the world

because the thing that hurts dream the most is that he cannot see himself as a living being - he is endless, he has a purpose, that's the extent of his existence

and therefore he doesn't dream, doesn't have a story, shouldn't want things for himself

and this is why he causes his own tragedy, because he is a person and he does need the things that make up someone's life, but he refuses to believe so

so when he's talking to orpheus, the important part here is "you are mortal, it is the mortal way"

dream would benefit greatly from being allowed to mourn orpheus, but he can't, he has a job to do, and allowing himself to grieve would interfere with his purpose. so he has no choice, he has to bury it

"so live" only applies to orpheus, as far as dream's concerned, because he doesn't think the endless live

gault falls under the exact same logic. dream sees his creations as extensions of him and is always surprised when they go beyond that. and if he's not allowed a life of his own, if he has to spend eternity fulfilling his purpose as it was given to him, they do too. they're not mortal, they don't live, and thus they don't have free will

(i'm honestly super curious to see what happens in the show from here because gault didn't exist in the comics, and dream actually acknowledging she was right is a major step forward that comic dream never managed to make)

and nada had free will

she just didn't think she did

that's how hell (or any afterlife) works, in the sandman universe, there is no being that judges it. death doesn't decide where you go, and neither does anyone else. you go where you believe you should

which is what makes sure people get to the right afterlife for their particular religion, but also it means that everyone in hell believes they deserve to be there

dream may have put her there, but he didn't have the power to keep her there. when she says "only your forgiveness can free me", that doesn't mean dream has to formally pardon her, it means she can only leave when she stops feeling like she was in the wrong here. and a part of her hates him for this, but a part of her is also stuck feeling guilty, and that's what's keeping her in hell. it's still a shitty move on dream's part, don't get me wrong, but when he said that to hob he was not currently doing anything to prevent her free will. had she truly decided what dream did was unfair, she could have left

revenge, however, that's where you're absolutely right. dream knows, on so many levels, that revenge causes more problems than it solves, and yet this is the one indulgence into human feelings he actually allows himself

he tells the fox not to, he tells hob revenge is a bad idea, he's constantly explaining to people he cares about not to take revenge because it will get them hurt. he is the prince of stories, and he knows how revenge stories end

(destruction even says he was disappointed that dream is still viewing everyone as stories, he'd hoped one day dream would realise people are people)

dream, though. dream doesn't have a story, so who says his revenge has to end in tragedy? he pushes down all his emotions for the sake of the world but anger doesn't want to leave, anger is good at convincing you it deserves to stay, anger can be righteous

if everyone else is just a story, well, the end is that they get what's coming to them. they deserve to be punished for hurting the people dream cares about, and who better to ensure the end of the story than him?

(and he doesn't realise how much his own emotions are influencing those decisions. he thinks he's being rational. he's not. what you were saying about him being both loving and spiteful always makes me think of orpheus - he loved his son more than anything in the world, he was a genuinely good dad and he did everything in his power to keep orpheus from tragedy. but then when orpheus ignored him and got hurt anyway, dream couldn't help but be angry at orpheus for causing their entire family so much pain, and that's why he walked away)

all the endless have different ways in which they see themselves in comparison to mortal beings. the more emotionally healthy ones realise that there's very little difference between the two. and then you get desire who explicitly admitted (in internal narration) that their entire sanity is hinging on believing that they are in control of the universe, they physically can't believe dream when he says they serve humanity and not the other way around. and dream, who sees everything and everyone as a story, except himself

he's not a living being, he doesn't follow their rules. he's not playing the game, he's the referee

except that's not and never was true

and that is the root of all of dream's problems

[jadedresearcher]

It will be okay.

I get that the US election feels like it's so huge the fate of everything is at play. And its important. Don't get me wrong. I very much have opinions (that are likely quite obvious given my reblogs) on how I want things to shake out. But it will be okay.

Even if the worst possible outcome happens. (which please, don't lose sight of the fact that its not guaranteed. The future can still be changed, please vote if you have an opinion on what future you want to reach for). I am not saying this because I want to cover my ears and believe in hope and dreams or whatever. I'm saying this because if the worst possible outcome happens there will still be tasks we can do to make things better for everyone. You will still have power. And the people who care about you will too, if you are too tired to use it. You've see a lot of reblogs going around about how it will be more important than ever to be active in local politics if the scary result happens in the election, right? That isn't blind optimism or busy tasks to work out anxiety. It works. It genuinely, truly does. And we know this because its worked before: The "gilded age" was a Period of US politics with rampant corruption.

"Presidential elections between the two major parties were so closely contested that a slight nudge could tip the election in the advantage of either party, and Congress was marked by political stalemate."

Does that sound familiar? Hardly sounds like something from 150 years ago, does it?

"Many cultural issues, [...], became hard-fought political issues because of the deep religious divisions in the electorate."

It's like looking into a mirror.

And do you know what happened? Do you think it was forever and everyone just died from despair? No. (i mean obviously, we're here now aren't we?) It was fought against, little by little, building momentum. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Progressive_Era

"Progressive reformers were alarmed by the spread of slums, poverty, and the exploitation of labor. Multiple overlapping progressive movements fought perceived social, political, and economic ills by advancing democracy, scientific methods, and professionalism; regulating business; protecting the natural environment; and improving working and living conditions of the urban poor."

No trend is forever. Nothing is set in stone. Any amount of corruption can be undone. The past proves it's possible.

"Initially, the movement operated chiefly at the local level, but later it expanded to the state and national levels."

And it is undone by exactly the means people have been saying all along. Being active locally. By caring. By not giving up.

Sure, the past is not today. There are plenty of differences and there are no guarantees in this world except one: there will be change. And each and every one of us can do things that matter to make the change happen in the direction and speed we want it to, little by little.

[maspers]

Whether or not you can or should fight people based on the Element that best represents them:

Hydrogen: You can if you'd like and they'll totally fight you back if prompted but like why

Helium: They're so detached from everything you couldn't fight them if you wanted to. 

Lithium: Oh believe me they want to fight you but if you do you'll just feel bad for hurting them

Beryllium: They are dramatic and vaguely poisonous so you'd think fighting them would be a bad idea but trust us you really need to

Boron: You totally can and it's usually pretty easy but don't let your guard down because they're really good at last-second victories

Carbon: DON'T. Their defense is impeccable and their attacks are razor-sharp. You will be hurt. 

Nitrogen: Everyone wants to but nobody can figure out how

Oxygen: In most cases, you can and should. But in some cases you will sorely regret it and you can never tell which cases those are.

Fluorine: FETCH NO NOT EVER

Neon: You might need to, but they'll just laugh it off once it's over. 

Sodium: Please fight them before they get worse. You'll have a ton of fun too. As a side note, if you're fighting *alongside* them all you need to do is give them time to prep and they're the best ally you can ask for. 

Magnesium: You might not want to but you really should. Don't worry it'll be over quick. 

Aluminium: Nah. 

Silicon: Strike fast, strike hard, don't let them access the internet or call a Carbon for backup. 

Phosphorus: Do you like to gamble? It's basically a 1 in 3 chance of A) You could but it won't do much B) You can and should as soon as possible and C) DO NOT THEY WILL EAT YOU

Sulfur: You'll regret fighting them, but it needs to be done

Chlorine: Best not to unless you are truly prepared to combat their aura of doom. 

Argon: Good luck finding them in the first place, and even if you do find them it'll just be like Neon

Potassium: You should but it won't be as fun as fighting Sodium

Calcium: Why would you want to? They're busy contributing to society best not to bother them. 

Scandium: Ugh I suppose if you HAVE to

Titanium: Please do. You won't accomplish anything but at least you'll know you tried

Vanadium: It'll be difficult because they never shut up but once they run out of breath their fate is sealed

Chromium: You should fight them but watch out they have a good reputation so if you aren't careful everyone will hate you. 

Manganese: Please don't. Chances are they already feel like they've lost, so just pat them on the back and tell them it's gonna be okay. 

Iron: You shouldn't. You'll want to. You'll really want to. But they're too important and if you win everything will be ruined. 

Cobalt: Don't bother. They'll flee at the first sign of conflict and your victory will feel hollow. 

Nickel: YES FIGHT THEM AND TAKE THEIR MONEY

Copper: You should fight them, but don't destroy them too hard because defeat means friendship in their eyes and they're actually really really helpful in just about every context

Zinc: Why on earth would you they are precious babies who never do anything wrong and just want to help don't hurt them! 

Gallium: You probably shouldn't, seeing as they're always on the verge of a nervous breakdown. 

Germanium: You won't want to fight them because they seem like Silicons or Carbons but it's all an act you should totally fight them to make you look better. 

Arsenic: Don't fight them. Even if you think you've won they'll already have put things in motion to ruin your life

Selenium: You totally should if only to experience the bizarre disorienting feeling of not knowing who won

Bromine: You can, and you'll think it was a really bloody defeat but actually they'll be totally fine and you'll get a headache an hour or so later once you realize what happened

Krypton: Bold of you to assume you can even hurt a superhimbo

Rubidium: You'll hear about them and think they're worth fighting, but then you meet them and discover they aren't. Fight them anyway as punishment for wasting your time. 

Strontium: You can and should, they seem normal but are secretly a menace. 

Yttrium: Don't, they're way too weird and all their weird friends will join in. 

Zirconium: Fire a shot and then run for the hills, #totallyworththepain

Niobium: Don't, they've lost too much already

Molybdenum: Really don't. They'll punch your face in then go back to whatever project they were working on

Technetium: It's a bot. It's a freaking bot. Why are you trying to fight a bot? 

Ruthenium: I'm not sure they even know how to fight

Rhodium: They're like Chromium but genuinely harmless, so while you can fight them there won't be much point to it

Palladium: Why on earth would you fight them, they're hot AND reasonably sane! 

Silver: Yes, please. They start by throwing your arguments back in your face, and then turn nasty before trying to finish you off with memes. But since they're really predictable once you've fought one you've fought them all. 

Cadmium: Not worth the sick feeling you'll get afterwards. 

Indium: PLEASE fight them. They're really easy to deal with, but if you leave them alone too long they start screaming so you need to fight them regularly

Tin: You can totally fight them, they'll sit there and take it with minimal complaining, but don't push them over the edge unless you want to deal with someone even more ruthless than Carbon

Antimony: Don't, you're just giving them more blackmail material on you. 

Tellurium: They sit on a throne of lies, so really really don't fight them unless you're trying to protect Gold. 

Iodine: DON'T FIGHT THEM WE NEED THEM TO MEDIATE OTHER FIGHTS

Xenon: You'd think fighting them wouldn't be worth the effort because they lurk most of the time but if you start a meme war you'll summon them and it'll be like fighting an epic secret boss in a video game

Cesium: You should NOT. They will overwhelm you quickly and then continue to harass you at regular intervals

Barium: They're really boring but you can still fight them to kill time

Lanthanum: Go ahead

Cerium: You can fight them but it'll really take a while for them to really get going. 

Praseodymium: Heck yeah. There's always two of them but neither should be a problem because neither knows what they're talking about. 

Neodymium: Heck no. There's always two of them and they both fight dirty. 

Promethium: You should, they make for good practice

Samarium: Only fight them if you want a lot of attention. 

Europium: Ugh, no. They won't fight back, just repeat everything you say really loudly and in a sarcastic tone of voice. 

Gadolinium: You can try, but they're usually busy listening to music. 

Terbium: They're one of Yttrium's weird friends. The geeky one. 

Dysprosium: Frankly you should just reward them for being willing to fight for whatever bizarre argument they're making. Sure you could defeat them easy, but letting them live is so much funnier. 

Holmium: Go right ahead. They are loud and precise and need to be stopped

Erbium: One of Yttrium's weird friends. The mystical one with the Crystals.

Thulium: Sure. You probably already have. 

Ytterbium: One of Yttrium's weird friends. This one actually can fight so keep them distracted while you deal with the other weirdos

Lutetium: Pfffft don't bother nobody takes them seriously anyway. 

Hafnium: Do it and do it soon, because otherwise they shall surprise attack you

Tantalum: YES. THEY DESERVE EVERY PUNISHMENT EVER. 

Tungsten: They are very very good at fighting, but have flaws you can exploit. Which is good, because it will be necessary. 

Rhenium: You'll never get the chance. They'll fly in, pepper you with obnoxious memes, then go back to lurking. 

Osmium: They are older and wiser and know more than you and any attempts at fighting them will just lead to them giving you advice and helping you learn. But you should still fight them because… 

Iridium: ...when you attempt to fight an Osmium an Iridium will show up to defend them, and you NEED to fight those stuck-up prats. 

Platinum: Everything bad that people say about Gold is a lie, because they're true about Platinum instead. You must fight them. It will hurt a lot but they really need to be stopped. 

Gold: You will never fight them because you will be too busy protecting them. They are too pure for this world and deserve love and support, regardless of what people may say about them. 

Mercury: They are a writhing mass of insults and memes. Approach them with cold logic and only cold logic, otherwise you will die. 

Thallium: You won't realize that you really need to fight them until it's too late. 

Lead: They've been fought and defeated in the past so just let them go about their business fixing their mistakes. 

Bismuth: No don't, why would you even want to. They're like the most helpful people, and even if you did fight them they'd just outlast you with a patient smile. 

Polonium: I guarantee you've beaten a bunch of them before without realizing. If they argue back then you'll definitely die but they never do

Astatine: NO. NO. FETCH NO. NO NO NO. DON'T EVEN ACT LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO. THEY WILL DESTROY YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU LOVE, AND EVERYTHING ELSE. JUST DON'T. 

Radon: It'll be hard because they seem untouchable but they are a cancer on society and must be dealt with posthaste. 

Francium: I mean you could but they'll totally destroy themselves if you give them a couple minutes so just wait it out. 

Radium: Idk I guess if you can if you want to but they're usually too busy reminiscing to notice

Actinium: Nah. They're just attention seekers. 

Thorium: Oh please like you could

Protactinium: You'll think they're an Actinium so you won't fight them, but if you did fight them it'd be very cathartic. 

Uranium: Do it, but hold back. They're loud and annoying but they're really just a kid who doesn't know better. 

Neptunium: No need, they're already playing damage control and dealing with everyone else. 

Plutonium: BEAT THEIR RACIST BUTT ASAP

Americium: You'll want to because of how loud they are, but don't mistake volume for anger. They're actually pretty chill and only get genuinely mad if there's already a flame war going on. 

Curium: Leave them to their science, they're busy. 

Berkelium: They're like cardboard. You could fight them but it won't mean anything. 

Californium: Please do, and bring me pictures. 

Einsteinium: You shouldn't. Because if you do it will be because they want you to and are recording your actions for future analysis. 

Fermium: You'll never need to because they only seek out and interact with people who like and agree with them

Mendelevium: They are social experts who know everything about everyone and would be very dangerous if they weren't completely stupid. OHKO them and then let them go back to their ineffective scheming

Nobelium: If you somehow manage to beat them everyone will love you for it, but that's never happened. 

Lawrencium: No need, they're busy spinning. Wheeee! 

Rutherfordium: You can and should, but be aware fighting them will reveal uncomfortable truths about yourself

Dubnium: In Soviet Russia, Dubnium fights you. You'll be fine. Probably. 

Seaborgium: DO IT. PLEASE. TAKE THEM DOWN A PEG. 

Bohrium: Hit them once to prove a point then let them go back to reading, because if you  interrupt them for more than a minute they will destroy you out of spite with their intellect. 

Hassium: If you want to, sure. 

Meitnerium: Don't. They've worked hard to get where they are today and don't have time for anyone's bullcrap, including yours. 

Darmstadtium: See Hassium, though make sure you don't lose because that would be REALLY embarrassing. 

Roentgenium: NO. They will target all your weaknesses and atomize you. 

Copernicium: Lolololol sure it'll be easy since they're in dreamworld half the time

Nihonium: You can, but only if you're willing to fight fair. They are always up for an honorable duel but the moment you try to fight dirty they will call you out and cut you down. 

Flerovium: Go right ahead if you like, no one will care either way

Moscovium: See Dubnium except they're more ruthless and cold so just fire a parting shot and back off

Livermorium: I actually don't really know what fighting them is like, but it's probably lame

Tennessine: DON'T. They will compose a song about you. A mean song. You will cry.

Oganesson: You totally can, but honestly that might be a bit cruel.

[prodigal-explorer]

*materializes into existence*

Hey, my dear moot :D

Putting some positive things in ya ask box.

I want to hear more about Aubrey! I know she's one of your favs, so feel free to infodump and rant about her <3

I'm also curious to hear your thoughts about Hero and Kel! From what I remember, they're brothers, right? I love brother relationships in media, like Roman and Remus (SaSi). But yeah, wanna hear your thoughts.

Anyway, have fun with this :D

aww thank you so much!!!!

i would LOVE to talk about these three amazing characters! sunny and basil are the main characters (for good reason considering that the main tragedy of the game revolves around their journey), but these three side characters are just as engaging and interesting as them! and those three are aubrey, hero, and kel!!!

let's start with aubrey. ladies first, after all!

so this is going to be as close to a spoiler-free post as i can make it, though i'm sure you've seen my posts enough to have like a full beginning middle and end of the game LMAO

one thing i do have to mention though is SPOILERS FOR MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. i can't really write about these guys without mentioning it so if you don't know of any deaths in omori don't read yet!

anyway- AUBREY.

for me, the main thing about her that i love is her loyalty to herself and her values. some people are flighty. they do whatever everyone else seems to want, or they're unstable when it comes to their own opinions on things. there's nothing particularly wrong with those people, but i've always greatly admired people who always know who they are, and aubrey, like it or not, always knows exactly who she is.

that's why she gets so ANGRY when people don't know who she is, or choose to misconstrue who she is for their own benefit. the entire TOWN does this, painting her as some brutish, stupid, rebellious bully character just because she comes from a rough part of the neighborhood, she doesn't have a lot of money, and her parents aren't there for her. of course she's going to get mad at people who further perpetuate that image of her.

aubrey has nobody on her side in her teenage years. her parents are deadbeats who don't give her the time of day. her best friend, the only person in the world who truly loved her and treated her like a sister, was ripped from her when she was a little kid. and when that happened, all of her other friends faded away too. aubrey was left alone, just like she had been before she found those friends.

god, she is just such a tragic character because the thing about her is that as a young child, she gave and gave all she had to her friends. she tried so hard to be a good kid, a good friend, a good little sister figure. but none of it paid off in the end. she still ended up alone. she gave and gave, but the only things in the whole world she really wanted to take, true friendship and unconditional love, was completely out of reach because the sad truth of it was that everyone seemed to care more about each other than about aubrey. everyone else had parents or guardians they could turn to. everyone else had a support system when tragedy struck. aubrey's support system was erased by said tragedy.

people give aubrey a hard time, but she was a little girl. she was learning about the world just like everyone else. and when everybody you love either willingly leaves you to fend for yourself or is ripped away from you by cruel force, you start to harden and turn uglier, in a metaphorical sense.

also, another thing i love about aubrey is that she OWNS UP. she knows she's flawed. she can be impulsive, she can take arguments too far, her temper isn't under control all the time. but the important thing is that aubrey has the maturity and emotional intelligence to get up, SAY SORRY, promise that she won't do that bad stuff again, and then actually adhere to that promise. aubrey is so noble, and her being is filled to the brim with such integrity and dedication.

really, aubrey never wanted to stop giving. it sort of happened against her will. but the second she found the ability to start giving again, she did. i just love aubrey. she was an adorable, sweet little girl who grew into a smart, wonderful, incredible teenager. her journey is so special to me, especially as an afab person. aubrey often gets pushed aside due to being a girl (people try to deny it but it's the truth), when really, her journey is a perfect coming-of-age arc that fully encompasses the game's message: self-forgiveness.

aubrey knows how to forgive herself, and she doesn't expect forgiveness from anyone else. she does the best she can, and then continues on, always aiming higher, always trying to be better. sometimes, she makes mistakes. sometimes, she falls into holes and has to dig her way back up to where she started. but she never STOPS.

i just love aubrey so much.

okay! hero and kel!

so while i am obsessed with their brotherly dynamic, i regret to inform you that they are not really all that similar to roman and remus in my opinion? i see some similarities, but their relationship to me is extremely different, in a cool and interesting way!

hero is the older brother. he is around three years older than kel i believe, and he is responsible, charming, dorky, and the poor guy is a bit of a people-pleaser. he has a strong passion for cooking, and he loves taking care of his friends and his brother, making sure that everyone's safe and happy. he takes on the role of the sort of parental friend alongside his late girlfriend, mari, and he always acts with a royalty-like decorum.

until his girlfriend passes away, and he is left all alone.

hero blames himself. he hates himself for not being there for his girlfriend in her last moments. he thinks it's all his fault that she's dead to begin with. and he starts to become very, very depressed. he stops cooking and decides to give in to his parents pressuring him to go to college (for either medicine or law, i don't remember). he can't get out of bed. he can't move on. he's frozen in time.

eventually, hero heals with the help of his large support system. being an extremely likeable person, hero has a lot of people by his side as he struggles with mari's death. and when he's able to, he tries hard to be there like he was before. to be responsible, to be charming, to be the perfect oldest child, the perfect friend, the perfect son. everything has to be shining and perfect, and- oh, he's still in the trenches and he's pretending to cope when really, his grief is taking on the form of intense perfectionism? oh dang, okay, then.

but in all seriousness, hero's story is one that shows that healing is not always linear and that everything is not as it seems. he's also such a sweetheart, and i love how he tries so hard to support kel and his friends through everything.

speaking of kel! let's talk about him! now kel is not my favorite character, but he's far and away the most similar to me. he's sporty, he's got energy for days, he never thinks before he speaks, he does crazy shit, he's curious, he explores, he always tries to find the how, the why, and the solution. he's a problem solver and a go-getter.

the problem?

everything he's expected to do, every problem he's expected to solve, hero's done it already.

hero is clearly the child who gets more positive attention in the family, and kel can't deny that he deserves it. hero gets perfect grades, he's so kind and smart and gentle and perfect, how is kel supposed to keep up?

it's heavily implied that kel has some form of adhd. he struggles with sitting still and impulse control, he feels very strongly about fairness and justice. he struggles in school, but adores being active and playing sports like basketball. kel is the kind of person who tries so hard, even though things don't come easy.

and he is endlessly loyal. honestly, i think that's one of kel's biggest flaws. he's very loyal, to the point where he'll support somebody who's blatantly wrong just because they're his friend. while this is a bit of a dangerous trait to have, it is admirable in its own way because this makes kel a very trustworthy person. it's easy to tell where one stands with kel. he isn't the kind to be a very convincing faker.

he and hero seem very different, but they truly fit together like a glove. despite occasional tensions, they love each other more than life, and their weaknesses and strengths balance out so beautifully. kel tries to pull hero out of perfectionism, convincing him to relax and enjoy life instead of stressing over whether or not everything is perfect. hero reassures kel that he's enough, no matter what people say. hero makes sure that kel gets all the love and attention he deserves, since he knows the playing field isn't even, and he knows that it's not right.

i just love them.

i love all three of them so much.

thank you for asking!! this was so fun to make!

[oswaldsleftbicep]

real important question here: who do you think that is the best husband material from the game? and pls rate them from best to worst-

rating the boys as husbands

a great way to wrap up my married life series! i kinda dived more into the cons of marriage in this, stuff i didn't get into in the original posts. i'd love to hear what y'all think about this, how you'd rate them, etc. that being said, these are all my opinion, based on my own perception and standards as to what qualities a life partner should have

married life hcs: part 1 | part 2 | part 3

genre: other, angst if you squint

cw: first draft and unedited rambling

Lucia

❧ he's a great husband; not much changes in your relationship so it's all still very fun and youthful and full of spark

❧ he pulls his weight around the house and makes sure to support you always

❧ since he's the breadwinner, you aren't required to work in order to keep y'all afloat, so if you aspire to be a house spouse, this one is for you!

❧ he has his moments where he doesn't take things as seriously as he should, he likes to brush things off and look on the bright side as often as he can. however, he knows very well when to stop and take things seriously, which saves you from a lot of intense arguments

❧ also, because of his work, he gets incredibly busy and there are times where you see very little of him and it can get stressful, especially once the two of you get so used to seeing each other all day, every day. the stress of being the new king also piles up on him, and every now and then he really struggles with managing it, and he can end up snapping at you or shutting you out for a bit

❧ overall rating: 9/10

Levy

❧ y'all have a very quiet marriage and life together- which absolutely isn't a bad thing! it'a all just very lowkey, but the love is always there

❧ and the life and home you two share is so full of domesticity and comfort, it truly is a safe space for the both of you

❧ you both have to work to support yourselves, which paired with the fact that he's not extremely helpful in terms of housework is,, not the best thing ever. don't get me wrong, he tries his hardest, but growing up having most things done for him is a deeply rooted habit of his

❧ you also have to keep in mind his attitude; levy is a very stubborn man, and he's been known to go behind loved ones' backs to get his way. communication and patience are musts in your marriage with him

❧ when arguments do happen, expect the silent treatment and cold shoulder, but by the end of the night, he will always come back to you and neither of you will go to sleep before talking things out

❧ he might take you for granted every now and then, but his love, appreciation, and admiration for you is eternal and will keep him tethered to you forever

❧ overall rating: 7/10

Mefy

❧ you love him, and he loves you. that's something that you have to remind yourself of a lot.

❧ right off the bat you have the secrecy about what he does for work; you have essentially no idea about his life outside of your shared home, and you often find yourself wondering, "who is my husband when i'm not around?"

❧ similar to levy, he doesn't do much around the house, and he doesn't seem to be too apologetic about it. this especially sucks considering that you have a job too. you can't stay home to take care of things, so you have to squeeze in time after work to meal prep and clean the house

❧ a lot of the time, you just feel like your marriage was more of a mutual agreement than a statement of your romance and devotion

❧ if you can set aside his secrecy, deceptiveness, and meanness, he's very sweet and considerate of you and your relationship. he sets aside his own opinions, and pays attention to the things you care about, keeping them in mind to bring up at a later date

❧ he leaves you wondering a lot of things, which can cast shadows of doubt in your mind, but you know he's faithful and will always return to you. that trust and confidence is one of the biggest things keeping your marriage afloat

❧ overall rating: 4/10

Oswald

❧ trying my best to set aside my own biases for this one-

❧ it's very hard to find a man more devoted to you than oswald. he takes his vows very seriously, and dedicates the rest of his life to act as your servant not literally of course but ya know. anything he can do to make sure you live a safe, comfortable, and secure life, he's doing

❧ he really tries his hardest to help around the house with cooking and cleaning, but his strength really lies in the latter. it's very endearing tho, seeing him try his best and looking to you with a sparkle in his eyes, eager to please

❧ but then you have to keep in mind his other job; assuming that he continues working for lucia and kaim, and until there is a complete cure for his condition, he will likely continue to be sent on missions. how long he's gone for, you never know, and the only solace you get is his promise to return home to you

❧ and then you have the effects of his condition. he tries to keep you at a distance from him when he goes on a rampage, but things can happen. he's hurt you once before, and it would absolutely eat him up if that ever happened again. there are risks, but in the end, it's an illness and support from the one he loves most is what keeps him together

❧ overall rating: 9/10

Kaim

❧ he's dedicated his life to servitude; to him, marriage is just an extension of that

❧ he wouldn't just marry you for the heck of it tho, he really loves you and is thoroughly devoted to you, and it shows with how gentle he treats you, and how he pampers you in his own special way

❧ you know that being married to him ensures that you'll be well taken care of and secure in your way of life

❧ but it's hard for him to keep home and work separate, and it can sometimes seem as if he's more your boss or overseer than your husband. he takes charge of a lot of things at home, has specific expectations, and instructs you on things to do a lot

❧ it's rare for him to just relax and be with you, as his life is basically his work. the infrequent, sacred time you have to yourselves is often right before bed, unwinding together and relishing in each other's closeness, which appears to be all he needs

❧ overall rating: 6/10

Mikael

❧ this man has a lot of complexity to him, and a lot of it is due to internal conflict. he has such string desires, but because of his upbringing, way of life, and status, he's learned to stifle those desires down into performative indifference

❧ he relies on you to help him with that, and he's learned to be comfortably vulnerable with you, which really strengthens your marriage

❧ he sticks his nose up at a lot of domestic housekeeping tasks, resulting in you either doing it yourself, or forcing him to help out while he pitches a fit lol

❧ he's a big homebody, which shows he's comfortable in the house you built together and gives you slight peace of mind in that you always know where he's at, but if you ever want to go out somewhere, it can take a while to get him to agree

❧ in order for this marriage to last and be successful, you have to be willing to help him, to help each other, grow and adapt and heal. there's a lot of therapy-esque reflection and conversation between the two of you, most often late at night

❧ overall rating: 5.5/10

Ricardo

❧ he's surprisingly great to live with: he's tidy, does his part in housework, knows how to cook

❧ the fun and youthful excitement of y'all's dating stage relationship lasts very well into your marriage; he refuses to go quietly into your aging together, and really values having memories and fun experiences together

❧ his frugality can get a tad bit annoying, especially because it's conditional. he's great at budgeting and paying bills and dues, but every now and then he'll make an impulsive financial decision

❧ which ties into his reckless behavior. having you and your marriage in his life definitely calmed him down, but old habits die hard. at his core, he still has those heartless, borderline psychotic impulses

❧ and let's not forget his dark ending. he is capable of that, and whether you're aware of it or not, the risk for that becoming a reality is still there. you've helped him change and become a better person, helped him mellow and settle down, but how much can nurture reverse nature?

❧ overall rating: 6/10

Noel

❧ he tries his best, but doesn't fully grasp this whole marriage concept

❧ the beginning of your union together consists primarily of you teaching him how to live with someone else. every now and then, it makes you worry about if you're treating him like a child

❧ don't get me wrong, he learns and understands eventually, and he becomes a good person to share a life with, but for a good while in the beginning, your union gets tested

❧ he's a prime example of you need to live with your partner for a while before you get married

❧ honestly, you don't feel as though your relationship with him changed much after marriage; if anything, you just feel more responsibilities piled up as you have to essentially train the poor man to be a husband

❧ and it's not his fault, remember that, he's lost everything at one point, memories included, and every day is a learning experience. as long as he has you by his side, he's confident that he'll become everything that you deserve

❧ overall rating: 4/10

Lucas

❧ life with him is full of adventure and bright, warm feelings. with it, though, is a feeling that you're walking along a tightrope, suspended high above the surface of the earth, but as long as you have your focus on one another, you'll always remain balanced

❧ it's not like y'all are struggling to get by either, early on in your marriage just has the classic vibe of newlyweds working hard to save up and build a beautiful life, sticking by one another through thick and thin

❧ his,, collection of belongings can be a reason for a bit of stress, especially if it all just continues to pile up. he won't clean or organize his belongings regularly unless you ask him to, and he never really sees a problem with it

❧ the two of you are always up to something, there's hardly ever a boring day in your shared life. on the other side of that coin, though, is his desire to always be going somewhere, wandering about and almost getting himself into trouble with his nosiness

❧ this one's hard to explain, but all he's ever wanted was you. he's waited countless lifetimes to have you, and he'd do it all again. yet, there's just something about him that tells me there's an unfulfilled desire within him, something that he'll continue to search for and will leave him perpetually, partially unsatisfied with his life

❧ overall rating: 8.5/10

[onlyhereforghosttrick]

Alright if I am to truly be a Pmd blog I must have a hastily drawn loredump at some point so

Starting with the partner, Aigiel! Now, Aigiel was raised as part of a clan of Espeons known as the Kirien clan.

They live somewhere northwest of the Luminous Springs, mainly differentiated by one particular genetic trait in a marking in their eyes or on their eggs (as pictured above, in an example of it in their eyes).

Now, something I have yet to mention is their main tradition, that being when one of their children turns *rolls d20 offscreen* 18, where they take an almost weeklong journey to Luminous Spring proper in order to completely evolve into Espeon. It's always viewed as a rather important event in the clan, seen as passing the legacy to a new generation, more so important given there aren't many children born into the Kirien clan. (There are like, 10 Espeons tops at any given point.) And of course, with how important this event is, any mistakes are meant with less tolerance than usual (which already isn't much). Now, while the last one from three years ago failed this process and managed to evolve into a different eeveelution, a disgrace if they've ever known it, that means nothing of Aigiel's ceremony or how it would go. ...and yet...

... Through some (admittedly crudely drawn and predictable yet) tragic twist of fate, something went wrong. And so, she was abandoned. Left in the forest like an experiment gone wrong at best, without a care for her safety. That day... She had been meant to die a failure, unable to uphold a legacy that she had been trained to inherit. And yet, like the failure before her... She kept fighting. She may not have known too much about survival, the children in the clan having been fairly sheltered for most of their lives, but she knew what she should and shouldn't eat, and that going back and begging for a second chance would do no good.

Despite her limited survival skills, the thing is that they were exactly that: Limited. And a while into wandering, looking for some other sign of civilization... She made the poor choice of wandering into a random cave. Now, it wasn't the cave in specific that was the problem here, quite the opposite- The problem was not knowing too well how to fight or defend yourself, and then cornering yourself in a room with no exits.

While what pokemon it was isn't entirely certain (if only because it isn't all that important, just that there were three of them and they were imposing), The terror they gave the young Eevee was. And so... all they could do was pray. Pray for some kind of hope. Some divine intervention, anything... But all she could do was hope someone would somehow hear her wish... "I want to live".

And somehow, through some miracle, her wish to live was heard- and some force of fate gave her the opportunity to keep living. And so she took to running, hoping to escape her current predicament. And yet... for every blessing, misfortune must also fall... some extra emphasis on the fall. While being in the wrong place this time didn't kill them, well... you read the text on their artfight ref.

Honestly, looking back, Aigiel realized she was rather lucky to have escaped with just a broken tail. At the time though... all she could concentrate on was ignoring the pain and getting out of there. Taking a stone she'd found in the cave as a reminder of what she'd been through, Aigiel somehow managed to find her way over to a nearby town- not the Treasure Town known in Explorers, but one surrounded mostly by forest aside from the connections to some underground lakes known as Cedar Town.

And so, after all she had survived... she decided something. She would be one of the kinds of pokemon who could help others, and who were strong enough to do it. An exploration team, Aigiel decided. That would be the kind of pokemon she would become. And thankfully, the wait for a partner didn't take very long...

[olderthannetfic]

In response to that bi and pan ask: can someone explain the difference between bisexual and pansexual? I never have a clear definition, every time I read one they seem interchangeable.

--

Also: maybe I just read it wrong, but I think OP was saying that the person's comment about pansexuality not existing implied all that biphobic stuff, not that they were calling bisexuality biphobic. Or whatever.

The distinction as stated at a "Bi+" support group I went to a couple of years ago was "LOL, not much". (This is from people leading a support group, some of whom were pan themselves. Truly, the massive distinction is something for college freshmen arguing terminology.)

The reality is that these different multi-attraction labels are largely a matter of personal taste. Some people choose pan to emphasize that they find gender irrelevant to their attraction. But the actual definition of bisexuality has never been and continues to not have anything to do with whether you pay attention to gender. All of those sorts of (flagrantly biphobic) definitions of 'bi' exist to help justify why 'pan' is a distinct and important label. (Which, admittedly, would happen less if people would stop constantly questioning whether the label needs to exist.)

You will never have a clear definition because there is virtually no difference in the actual behavior of bi and pan people, and the differences in nuance and emphasis in the terms aren't things all people with these labels agree on. (But those differences in emphasis are why some people do prefer labels other than bi.)

--

Yes, OP was saying that, and in saying that, they were being an asshole.

What they said was:

"I saw a blog that said pan orientations are the same as bi orientations, and that by using or being pan, you're bring biphobic, and I want to yerk. No, this doesn't completely imply that there are only two genders (cis man and cis woman), or that people who do fall outside those gender boxes are broken, or that there shouldn't be a word to describe anyone who doesn't fit either of those genders. Yerk yerk."

The "No..." is clearly sarcastic. They mean that saying "Bi and pan are the same" does imply the rest of this.

I can well believe that whatever post they were looking at was shitty too, but their conclusion only follows if you are a raging biphobe who is using a fake definition of bisexuality.

You can be any gender yourself and be bi. You can be attracted to any gender and be bi. You can be attracted to trans people with binary genders and be bi. You can not care about gender and be bi.

Anyone who tries to deny any of that is a bigot.

[mbti-notes]

hi mbti, entj with an exfj mother. whenever we get into arguments, she responds by yelling at me and blaming me and admittedly i respond by yelling back at her. she has been like this for the entirety of my life and when i try to communicate with her calmly after an argument she just ignores me. i want to have a better grasp on how to control my reactions during arguments as it takes a lot out of me to try and reason with her or even get an insight into other solutions i haven't considered. thank you

Why are you interested in personality type? Many people are merely in it for ego validation. Some people are looking to improve their relationships with different types. IMO, if you want to get something truly valuable out of type theory, you have to enter into the learning process with a clear intention to develop a deeper understanding of humans, to gain the kind of wisdom that helps you become more empathetic and compassionate toward yourself and others. In other words, do you genuinely want to understand your relationship with your mom and connect with her better, or do you just want a quick-fix to end the conflict and get her off your back?

When you seek to resolve a conflict for mostly egotistical reasons, you won't get very far, because it's easy for the other person to detect that you care more about your own comfort than their well-being. To resolve a conflict properly, you must approach it primarily from a place of care and love. If you aren't able to do that, you're signalling to the other person that you're not relationship-ready, so they won't have much motivation to meet you halfway, hence, the reluctance to engage with you. Why waste energy on a discussion that will go nowhere? Why waste energy trying to explain something when the other person doesn't seem to have the desire/capacity to understand? I'm not accusing you of anything or judging who's right or wrong. I'm simply making sure that you are aware of your intentions because they matter a great deal in conflict resolution.

It is indeed important to keep yourself in check when things get too heated, but that's really only the first of many steps. At most, it keeps communication going, but it doesn't constitute a full-fledged solution to the conflict. You haven't described or provided any representative examples of the sorts of things you argue about, which makes it very difficult for me to know what exactly lies at the root of the conflict. And perhaps that is the problem: You're not grasping what lies at the root of the conflict, so your ideas about how to solve it keep dancing around the problem at best. Dancing around means you have no clear direction or no clue about what the finishing move should be. What is your long term vision for this relationship?

In terms of ENTJ development, dancing around is likely related to underdeveloped Ni: your way of thinking is too short-sighted and superficial, so you're unable to grasp what's really happening beneath appearances, let alone set a long term vision to strive for. In the context of relationships, the superficiality of underdeveloped Ni is also linked to underdeveloped Fi: you are unable to recognize and address the underlying feelings and emotional needs in play, so you end up band-aiding the conflict only to have it recur in the future.

Every personality type has its fair share of challenges, difficulties, and weaknesses. If you don't understand what they are in your own type, you won't make much progress in personal growth. If you don't understand what they are in someone else's type, you won't be able to "speak their language" or frame ideas in a way that makes sense to them. Recurring relationship problems usually require a two-pronged solution of personal growth as well as growing your understanding of others. Developing Ni+Fi should help you with both.

The most obvious difference between you and your mother is T and F. By definition, feelings and emotions matter a lot to Fs and how they make decisions. Healthy Fe doms don't anger easily because they: don't like the stress of extreme emotions; are usually willing to give people the benefit of the doubt; prefer to see the good in people; hope for kinder ways of resolving conflicts. There are really only a few things that anger Fe doms, mostly involving:

lack of care shown to the things that are very important to them

ignoring/dismissing people's needs and feelings

taking them and their thoughtfulness for granted

violation of their personal rules/boundaries

antisocial/immoral behavior that causes harm or suffering

Have you done any of the above? If so, have you admitted the mistake, provided a humble and honest explanation for it, sincerely apologized, and made a promise to do better? That is often all it takes to get back in the good graces of FJs, but you'd be surprised at how often people simply can't or won't take the first step toward reconciliation.

It takes two to tango. When the lines of communication have broken down, it's sometimes necessary to step up and be the bigger person and apologize first, in order to encourage the other person to respond in kind. It's not about who is at fault or who is to blame or who started it (i.e. pettiness). It's really about acknowledging that feelings have been hurt and needs have been neglected, and then making a gesture toward repair. In essence, it's about ending all aggression and, instead, opening up opportunities to show love.

To be clear, this is not about rolling over, placating, or appeasing. You also need to address why you feel in conflict, why you feel upset. You wouldn't be getting into arguments without feeling strongly about something or other. Oftentimes, ENTJs are unable to speak about feelings and emotions directly because they fear being vulnerable and/or simply don't have that level of self-awareness. But vulnerability is precisely the gesture that is needed for the other person to feel more confident about reconciliation.

Vulnerability shows that you are finally ready and willing to get real, to discuss the very heart of the matter. Speaking honestly and authentically about feelings is quite difficult for most people, usually due to ego reasons, but it is necessary for building more meaningful and fulfilling relationships. Until two people can feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable with each other - to approach with zero intention to judge, shame, blame, accuse, or attack - they won't be able to resolve relationship problems once and for all.

Of course, one big reason people fear vulnerability is because it leaves them open to being manipulated, exploited, or attacked. You can't control other people, so trusting them always carries some risk. Give people a few chances to return your vulnerability in graduated steps, but if they can't reciprocate or they use it against you, it means they are not relationship-ready. At that point, feel proud that you were brave and put out your best effort, but acknowledge that the relationship has hit a hard ceiling for reasons beyond your control.

If you have a tendency to nitpick or debate the details of who's right and who's wrong in an argument, you're basically trying to establish dominance and doing the opposite of being vulnerable. And chances are, you're ignoring what matters most, which is healing the injury that was caused by the conflict. It could be injury to a person or to the relationship as a whole. In the midst of heated conflict, it's easy for feelings to get trampled, boundaries to get violated, trust to get betrayed, and painful memories to get dredged up. One reason people avoid conflict is because it's difficult to get past the injuries.

When someone's leg is injured, you don't tell them to get over it and keep walking only to make it worse, rather, you get them off their feet, reduce their pain, and then gently repair what was fractured or broken. Feelings and emotions are real. Emotional pain often registers in similar brain areas as physical pain. It requires time, sensitivity, the right kind of comforting, and a focus on fulfilling unmet needs to heal emotional pain. When you don't allow time and opportunity to heal emotional injury, you're basically leaving people to writhe in pain alone, so don't be surprised when they have zero mental capacity for anything else. Have you ever tried to reason through a difficult problem while experiencing intense pain?

One of the great things and also one of the most difficult things about being F dominant is that feelings and emotions always loom larger than other types. Are you able to understand and accept this reality about them? Fe doms deeply value loving relationships and are thus easily pained by unloving behavior. Fe doms generally find it difficult to bring up their own negative feelings/emotions because they don't want to cause a disturbance or be a burden. As a result, they might get into the habit of suppressing how they really feel, which might lead them to also develop a habit of exploding any time they are unable to suppress any longer. And once feelings get too big, they'll find it difficult to articulate what's really happening inside, due to inferior Ti.

The remedy is to provide them with a safe, nonjudgmental, and compassionate space to speak freely at all times. But this means you have to be prepared to hear things that you don't want to hear and/or things that don't make sense to you (and require tactful clarification). To get better at girding yourself, you have to deploy Ni+Fi to step back and see the bigger picture (i.e. don't take it personally), and to look beyond the surface content of their words and understand what they really mean, with regard to:

what exactly is causing them to feel bad

what you've contributed to their negative feelings

what it is they really need or which of their needs remain unmet

what rules/boundaries were violated and require repair

what unloving/immoral behavior needs to be stopped

what unfair/unjust situation needs to be righted

Once you grasp the underlying problem, you'll have a much better chance of negotiating the right solution. A simple but effective way to improve your conflict resolution skills is to be more curious and listen more, to ensure that you are in touch with the reality of the situation, rather than operating on faulty assumptions. Family relationships are often the most challenging relationships, but learning how to navigate them effectively can set you up with the skills you need to navigate all relationships effectively throughout life.

I have already written a lot about function development, emotional intelligence, and communication skills. I've also recommended books on the resources page. There's no shortage of information. What remains unclear is how motivated you are to improve your people skills and what end goals you have for this relationship.

[eternitas]

I don't hate kids. I just fear them.

I fear them and I can not get along with them. It's less thir fault and more my incompetence. Children are honest to a fault. Many can not lie without giggling, many bluntly tell what they think without really thinking of what that might cause. I fear that. I fear the honesty and ruthlessness of a child telling me my faults. As excitable they are, the idea of them telling me I am not good enough is terrifying. It isn't their fault. They are new to this world, they just learn to form their thoughts into sentances, their opinions into words, but I am fragile. I am scared.

Kids are a part of everyday life. They exist and they always will. But I am already sensitive to sounds and stimuli. On my one free day on which I have energy, going into a store full of families with crying kids that don't want to be there is like a direct assault at my energy level. And when I watch these kids I can tell that most don't want to be there. They are bored, overstimulated themselves, they feel uncomfortable, they don't like it and they want the world to know. It's not their fault. They are just tiny human beings bound to bigger human beings who live in a world where it's impossible to find someone that can take care of their kids while they go shopping. I also understand that kids NEED to be socialized and brought into social spaces to learn about the world. What a supermarket is, or what a clothing store looks like. You need your child there to make sure what you pick out for them actually fits and they like it and aren't uncomfy. But it is still too much for everyone. Parents are stressed, they lose their temper, their children don't understand what's wrong and their confusion becomes more and more audiable.

And I am right in the middle unable to escape, because I need a new set of pants and today is the one day I have time and motivation to leave the house. And I instantly regret it.

I don't want children. The thought of something invading my body and slowly growing in there terrifies me. It makes me sick and my skin crawl. Everyone speaks of how hard and aweful pregnancies are, but they swear that as soon as you hold them, that it was all worth it and a completely new world opens up to you. You are a woman! you will finally be fullfiled!, I hear my mom say, as my body tenses and my heartbeat quickens. The thought makes me want to run away. And what if I don't love that thing that grew up inside of me? What then? This is a lifelong commitment. I will have to care and be responsible for it, I can't just give it away and absolve myself of all my responsibility for a new tiny human being. No I don't want children. And if I don't really want one, then I won't have one. I will not gamble for a possible epiphany of motherhood, because a child deserves more than a gamble. It deserves a gurantee. It deserves security.

I don't hate children. I don't even hate what I fear. I know spiders are important. They need to exist for the ecosystem, they have their place in this world. They are truly fascinating. But I don't want them near me. We can coexist but please not in the same space. It's too much for me. It makes me cry, it makes me shake, it makes my skin tingle, my thoughts race and crash.

I don't hate children. I know they need to exist in public spaces, I know that is good for them and society. But it's too much for me personally. And Explaining that to people is often so much. This post alone is longer than it should be. I don't hate children. I fear them, they are too much for me to handle and we do not get along.

So when someone asks what I think of children or working with them as my job, or even having them myself, all I can do is shrug and say:

"I don't like children."

And I know they will judge me.

[mtdthoughts]

Lingering Questions I Had (Migi & Dali Thought)

After the conclusion of the story, there were some questions in my mind that I either have no answer for or do not have enough conclusive evidence to back any specific answers. This post will just be a list of these lingering questions. More may be added over time if I can think of any.

Of course, spoilers will be discussed.

Q: How do the twins know their own age?

I'm not sure if the twins were aware of their own age around the time Metry died. I imagine that it'd be pretty difficult for Metry to keep track of time while being locked up with the twins. Perhaps the orphanage was able to estimate the twins' age based on their growth development.

Q: When is the twins' birthday?

Unless I'm wrong, I don't think the twins themselves give any clue as to what day their birthday is.

The next best thing is to see when EIji's birthday is. Unfortunately, there aren't really any hints for this either. Perhaps his old photos tell us something, but they don't exactly tell us much.

I've also thought about Christmas, but that seems a bit too good to be true.

If it's truly impossible to figure out their birthday, then perhaps it was intentionally omitted to highlight the importance of the twins' adoptive family rather than their biological one.

Q: How did the twins escape the orphanage without them notifying the Sonoyamas?

This one does baffle me a bit. I'm pretty sure the children and staff at the orphanage would remember the existence of a pair of blonde twins, and perhaps they would even remember their names. I'm not exactly sure how they would react when the Sonoyamas tell them that they'd like to adopt only one of the twins, and with a name that they've probably never heard before. This leads me to the following possibilities:

The twins lied to the orphanage about their name, or:

One of the twins ran away well before it came time for Hitori to leave for the Sonoyama house, or:

The orphanage were truly negligent or didn't really care that much about the twins, or:

The orphanage did actually tell the Sonoyamas eventually, whom kept this knowledge a secret from the twins.

Personally, I'm leaning towards the third option.

Q: At what point (e.g. episode or chapter) did they begin to suspect that they had twins?

There were definitely quite a few moments in the story that would probably make them suspicious of Hitori.

I can't imagine that they would be onto the twins too early in the story. As much as I'd believe that they'd respect the twins' privacy, I think they would know that it would not be in their sons' best interest to have them continue living as one.

Q: Does Akira know that the twins are his sons? If so, then what is the nature of the relationship between him and them?

Honestly, I'm surprised that he didn't suspect this immediately the moment he met them, considering how much he loved Metry and how much the twins resembled her. Perhaps the twins told him off-screen during Episode 12. Or, perhaps Eiji told him just before he was about to spend about two years in the juvenile detention center.

If he does know about his two sons, then perhaps he felt that he didn't have any right to just take them and leave, considering the fact that the twins suffered much hardship partly because of him and the fact that the twins already had a new family. But maybe he'd be interested in making it up to them at some point, considering that he was willing to come back to Origon Village to have cherry pie with the Sonoyamas.

Q: Why did Akira give Fidelite to the Sonoyamas?

I know that Fidelite is supposed to be a symbol for Dali, but still, it bothers me that there's no explanation for this. One farfetched idea I had was that maybe he gave Fidelite to the Sonoyamas and then told them about the twins.

Q: Have the twins ever visited Eiji in prison?

It's not like it was ever stated directly in the story that Eiji's return from prison was the first time they've seen him since his arrest. All they said was "Welcome back" or "Congratulations on your release". Thus, I think it's possible that in between Christmas 1990 and March 1993, the twins could have visited him at least once.

Q: How did Eiji know about Sali? How did he know it was Dali?

It's possible that he found out during Episode 9, but I think it's more likely that Reiko knocked him out before he could discover the truth. I also don't imagine that the twins would tell him in Episodes 11 or 12. If they did visit him in prison, perhaps they told him then. It's also likely that Eiji figured it out himself (the question is, when?), since he is pretty smart after all.

[ancientagentalien]

I just wanted to get on here and talk about something real quick. It's kind of a vent post, but it has some good topics to cover. I'm sure this can be pointed towards some of you or people you know.

These were responses to a story I posted on my snapchat. Basically, my story was about the genocide going on right now. This just shows me that there are humans who aren't... human. Yknow what I mean?

If you can watch a genocide and respond like this, you are not a person. Not to me, at least. I know that probably won't hold any place in anybody heart, but I feel like it must be said. After a certain line, people are no longer people.

And seriously? "Womp womp"? I beg your finest pardon? This is about MILLIONS of innocent people dying because Isreal can't be happy with what they have. Innocent mothers, fathers, children, friends, citizens. A majority of them are dead now. And for what? Because another country couldn't continue following international laws?

Are you a sociopath, psychopath, or sadist? Those are your only options, and none of them are compliments despite what other people may tell you.

It has gotten to the point where a man from the airforce, Aaron Bushnell, set himself on fire because that was the only way his voice would be heard. And even now, they are trying to silence it. He is a hero, and you don't get to speak if you think otherwise. If he was alive and did this in any other part of history, he would be deemed a hero.

They say he was mentally ilI. I have watched the video, uncensored and past the point where he fell over. This was a fully sound man with conviction. His face, voice, and choice of words made it abundantly clear that he was fully aware of everything he was doing and the lasting effects it would have. If he were mentally ill, Palestine would be the last thing on his mind. He would have just set himself on fire without a care for anything else in the world (also, he would not be in uniform because the airforce would not have employed him). He continued to scream the words "free Palestine" as he burned alive. After it was too much and he couldn't talk, he forced himself to scream it one last time. He then shook and fell over. He died not long after, as I'm sure most of you know. This completely sane member of the American airforce's last words were "free Palestine" and we still cannot find the motivation to do anything that truly helps. What the fuck is wrong with people?

Nothing on this earth will convince me that there is anything good happening or that Isreal is the victim that they're trying to look like. Palestine can hardly create bombs powerful enough to fully take out a full building, and Isreal is a military superpower. To put that in perspective, I give you an analogy: imagine the world's most experienced and skilled basketball player matched against someone with both of their arms amputated. Does that seem fair at all? No? Then why do you think this genocide does?

How many people have to die for no reason before something actually gets done about it? Tiktok sounds and filters aren't going to help. They haven't this whole time. Money won't help. You know what will? Action. Sending people to fight and rescue. We did it when Hitler did his genocide. How is this, at its core, any different. People who don't deserve it are dying because someone else has an ideal that they think is more important than human lives.

Nobody who supports Isreal's actions is a good person. I'm ashamed to be the same species as them.

Genocide for the stupid reason of "you have to do what I want cuz I said so."

Think about that.

[ink-flavored]

Uncommon Questions: Pride: 1, 22, 38, A || Justice: 29, 37, 38, E

thank you! <3

Pride

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Oh, like, 30 seconds. Pride needs to be Doing Something all the time or he gets itchy. Allergic to sitting still. Unless he's sleeping, in which case, don't you dare try to make him do things.

22. How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)?

Pride is a very jealous person, and this will come up in the story,

He's a funny guy, since he can taste when there's envy around, it actually puffs him up a bit. Ha, those people are envious of ME because I am so awesome. But even if there's no envy to be detected, if someone starts getting too friendly with something - or someone - he's decided is for Him Only he gets very possessive.

There's definitely going to be a moment early on in their relationship where Pride drops a bomb of sinful influence and/or scares the shit out of anyone who is staring at Justice for longer than he deems appropriate because Fuck You He's Mine. And then Justice has to tell him to cut that shit out.

38. What memory do they revisit the most often?

Falling from Heaven. As much as he likes to say he doesn't care about the past, he very much does. It's difficult to forget being cast out of your only home and being told you deserve to suffer for eternity.

A. Why are you excited about this character?

He is my scrungly scrimbo. My angry little rat man. He is chewing on the bars of his cage. I am pinching his cheeks and he hates it.

Okay but seriously, Pride means a lot to me as a character. He's very traumatized, very shitty person, who believes he doesn't deserve to be happy but acts self-assured out of spite. He simultaneously believes and can't believe what people say about him. He thinks he's flawless and worthless at the same time. He doesn't believe he'll ever be forgiven, so he has to believe everything he's ever done is right.

I'm excited for his growth. I'm excited to write a character who has done bad things, some of which are forgiven, some aren't. But he learns to accept himself anyway, moves forward instead of constantly looking back. He's given permission to heal for the first time, and that story of his is really important to me.

Justice

29. Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

This is such a good question, because Justice's ideals are in question from basically the first moment of the story. His ideals, up to that point, had been to serve whatever God says is just and good—generally help people, aid those in need, killing is wrong, etc.. But after being told an innocent human life is acceptable collateral damage, he's having some conflict with that message!

His story is about building up his own ideals, reshaping the things he was taught and still truly believes in, if only other people weren't twisting them to suit whatever they wanted to do anyway. He goes from "do the things God says are just and righteous" to "do what is just and righteous, no matter what God says". And you can swap out "God" for any authority there.

37. Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)?

Not really? He just remembers stuff. He cares a lot and commits things to memory because it would be rude not to remember someone's name. That's all he needs.

38. What memory do they revisit the most often?

In both a positive and negative way, the moment he became Realized, was gifted his name, and got to choose his human-body-form. In a good way because, yay I have a purpose and a body and I can hug my sister, all that good stuff. But negatively... it was also the turning point in his life when he was "enlisted" (I guess?) into Heaven's army. It's where he was taught all his perfectionism, what to do, how to be pure and righteous, to not stray from the path. God gave him the free will to discover himself, but immediately took that free will away to give him a role to serve. It's shaped his life in many, many ways.

E. Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

In lore, Justice automatically makes humans comfortable and feel safe with his angel aura, so for sure I would get along with him lmao

I think outside of that, our personalities would mesh pretty well—and I'm not saying that because I want to be his friend so bad. We both like books and analysis of said books. I think he would be a really fun person to have Deep Conversations with, you know? The meaning of life and all that. And I know in my heart, Justice is the kind of guy who always picks the good options in RPGs because he can't bring himself to be mean to any of the characters. Same.

[send me an uncommon OC ask]

[seancamerons]

I am having such a hard time in my personal life lately, and there's alot of uncertainty, fear, anger, and just generally not good. I have been feeling overwhelmed lately, lots of stuff on my plate and more crap got added and dumped on, and now it's just overflowing and that is putting it mildly. There is still good things going on, but it's overshadowed by these other events and elements, making things difficult and hard to deal with with everything overwhelming and confusing and hard to leaf through like a big salad with too many different veggies, croutons, too much of an element or uneven quantities of things on it too much dressing, the ratio is off or something. In short, it's a disappointing salad, basically.

A storm has been brewing for some time, between 20, 10, or 15 years there has been. Sometimes it's fine, managed, not dangerous, or calm and then it storms and it rains and pours. Other times it's a constant arc era of it, random, frequent screaming, or and nothing makes edgeway no rational talk or sincire or effort of apology with backhabded or snide remarks and only escalating and making it hard to rationalize or even more ideally work it out. If you wanna come back to it later after ironing things out or cooling off you get cut off and it's silent treatment. Egg shells, silence, even some fatigue from all the adrenaline of the anger and decades or days, weeks or resentment. Rinse and repeat.

or worst case, its nucleqr troubles, like tropical tornado storm deafcon 5 crisis mode. Last time it was

So then comes the fears, uncertainty, everything is up in the air. I'm sitting here, bitting my lip and my tongue from spewing hateful shit, potentially pointed bitter confessions, incencritty saying something wrong or maybe worse things you can't take back or even come back from. And it isn't just you it's then too simultaneously.

Is that how you really feel or felt?

Has this happened to you growing up?

Fine until they're not. The last time this happened, I lost my shit and my mind. I was so not good, but before this weekend it was manageable because confrontations and such were backburner, and no conversations.

Perhaps cheerful past few interactions olive branch in the form of a surprise bottle of wine once in awhile but this month frequent. Decent humanesque conversations of light topics and safe and being decidedly scripted or bordering on carefully selecting every word like when you are ordering from McDonald's and don't want to mess up or fumble your words to tip them off all is not well. Such as maybe being drunk and running into someone and you don't want the other to know you aren't in the best state to talk and all. It's like random spurts like a pop quiz. It isn't truly genuine talk nothing is honest about it. Usually, it's pretty short like small talk, you're not that important or significant or wrong even in your own experiences or whatever.

They are the dominant in the conversation and you listen and can only say few things. Thinly veiled is some niceties or relatable or even predictability and this is where it snaps like a rubber band and it ends. It's so fleeting. It isn't worthwhile and you go where you go and whatever and leave the place. From experience it goes one of two ways, the true calm b3tore the fireworks or the storm el niño and you are fubar. Then comes all the shitstorm stuff I touched on before.

Well this is where current events fall into place and I do not want to get that deep into that or delve that personally publicly but only trusted mutuals I'd speak more about that to and with than someone stranger. 😔

This is what happens when you are not taking care of yourself or have accepted so much things that led to these consequences for better for worse. Some people have grief that manifests differently sadness anger or even violently or a combination. not even that isn't a pass or an excuse for being so bad off, it destroys so much in the person's life for starters and your own and no one or

What if they are family? Immediate?

I'm hurt and resentful, I don't feel community of that end of the family as this is a black sheep or at least in stereotype that could be an understatement or determine or pigeonhole. I don't know or can't speak on for sure what or now they're feeling about me because of the eggshells on the floor at every path and at every turn in almost every situation. No honesty, and it's cold. You see them through images and video impersonal informal and most importantly at and from a distance all the while missing out on precious time with loved ones or missing milestones because of the storm. Rain outs, delays, cancelations or radio silence. Nobody communicates property nothing changes. Finally, bitterness builds walls and barriers and screaming eveloped in silence ence speaks volumes. I care. They might care too buy fears keep them faraway. I think about when I see a birthday without a invite, instead, snubbed and pictures with family and none if us are there or invited, crpssed out cast out. It is particularly the storms fault, not mother nature or a curse or a conspiracy. It was deliberate. I don’t have a lighthouse or a beacon

I guarantee the storm though chaotic is only human and has feelibgs.

Could be possible they feel pain and some guilt and big time regrets. It is uncomfortable. The kicker will be eventually when they are gone. The once close, the once cordial, the once happy memories will be slowly gone too, and the decressendo to emptiness and the regrets pile up like my plate that is overfill to the brim and the past will be a distant memory, tragic and more people will dip out and they will probably be alone and leave the planet too one day and like Jay Gatsby nobody will care no one will attend the service for them or in their honor but out of an obligation and

I had been consistently failed by this person. It is embarrassing. I'm trying to take care of myself in the meantime. My peace has been disturbed, and I'm temporarily derailed, and it has been about 8 or 9 years since the last time I experienced this level of incertianty and fear and constantly living in survival mode. Counterproductive as unresolved tension reaches a boiling point with everything else is boiling on backburners and staining and tainting the good. The now strained straw suddenly breaks the camels back and makes it unbearable and remarkably awful and bleak. It took 3 days to knock it all down and take the bunch of baby and large steps back totally a preventable situation no matter what and certain. It sucks. It isnt half of it, but this is about a smidgen. This is personal, but it's all I'm willing to share in this grim glimpse tonight.

It is so rough. I don't even know how to put it all together or fix a thing. Is it even something I'm able to revise or repair? I don't know if I have tools and can I make a difference or a bad difference? Unfortunately some how a moot point but a fifty fifty crapshoot a fork in the road, and I haven't the slightest idea what to do now. I want to change things and wish I could. I can't fill the glass. I do not have to fill or whatever because I can't, in the sahara or something, so now I'm keeping it to myself, and the water no matter how selfish it sounds. I can't burn myself again or burn me to keep them or the storm itself cushy and bite my tongue till it bleeds or worstcase, it all becomes all consuming and kills me or it's all irreversible. I wouldn't be able to handle this kind of thing years ago but it's been the same for years. It's a cancer on famkly and friends near and far a death sentence. The optimistic part of me has slivers and speckled hopes but o don't know if I'm overreacting but I feel like deeply for once I'm not.

I desperately need a miracle or a magic genie for a wishfor good things to happen no more destruction. We were almost done rebuilding from the last wave the last 10 or so years or even longer who knows? I don’t like it. I dont want a part of and that keeps me up at night.

For the record, September sucks. Just wake me in November. The storm is human and negatively impacting my life. I don't know what to do.

I'm always last to know things in every aspect with few exceptions I wasn't equipped for a explosion or spontaneous derailment of everything qnd all the destruction in the wake the next morning or the day after or after effects. The hangover I guess.

Just get help. I can't help you. I need to be selfish and focus on me for the first time. You disserviced me so now I don't know how to remedy or find a solution or save myself from torment. I can’t even with this any longer. You aren't sorry. You just don't understand or are just as lost as I am. I live in constant dread though put on a happy face. It's getting hard to play pretend. I'm not ready for any aspect of this. I'm omg angry and hurt unbelievably and rightfully. It's valid. I don't know if I can bounce back at all. I want my romantic relationship to work because last time the stars lined up this way I lost them too because I lost myself and my mind and took time to rebuild and after neglect myself and things I'm so much more aware and wide awake to the bullshit. I used to feel stupid and now my eyes are open to the bad part. It is ALOT.

I hope I'm gonna be okay. I hope. Fingers crossed. Wish me luck. It really sucks, fucking sucks. I don't know how to like previous mentioned use careful words or struggle to compose virtually anything. That is it.

[kellanved-ammanas]

TF2 Drabbles: RED Spy/BLU Spy - You're Going to Bail, Aren't You?

Summary: Could you do Red spy x Blu spy? Where the spies are talking to each other, working on a conjoined mission to take down a threat targeting both sides. Red is being slightly panicky, anxious about this threat. Then you have Blu... He is completely calm, stoic, and chill. In other words he doesn't give a fuck, but not for the reasons one expects: He doesn't truly care if he lives or dies forever, but he does care if the others do. He doesn't know how to express much of any emotion genuinely, forcefully taught at a young age to hide all emotions. So for Blu, it may seem he doesn't give a damn, but he really does. So much it hurts. Red figures this out when Blu calms him down, holding his hand and reassuring him that they'll figure this out. Blu sounds like everything is fine and dandy, but Red finally sees how Blu really feels by looking closer: the slightest emotion behind the mask he'd been wearing all his life. I just wanted some hurt/comfort, hopefully this isn't too much.

~

In only a matter of months, the war against the robots had gone from a stalemate to them winning pretty handily to Respawn being destroyed. Meaning if any of them died, it would be permanent. And if the two Engineers couldn’t find a way to fix or rebuild it, that’s how they were set to spend the rest of the war. Not a comforting prospect given what they were up against.

Probably the only reason they hadn’t been overrun already was because the robots didn’t know their efforts to bomb the base into the ground though mostly foiled, had gotten the Respawn room. Keeping what part of the base it was in hidden, preventing anyone from aiming for it specifically, had been their most important and well kept secret. An investigation had revealed that seemingly no one had leaked it accidentally, it was just plain dumb bad luck that the robots had hit it.

Everyone was shaken by their return to proper mortality. Not that the threat of permanent death had ever been gone completely, there was always the chance Respawn would mess up and bring someone back wrong in some way or fail outright. But it had been so reliable for so long, everyone had made the unspoken agreement to not discuss it, pretend it wasn’t there. Now death was much more of an immediate threat, not something to be ignored, especially in the middle of a war against a robot army.

Pierre wandered through the base, his invis-watch on, stopping to eavesdrop on various conversations. Still no one outright talked about it, that wasn’t the kind of thing that was easy to talk about under even the best circumstances. There was tension to everyone though and it wasn’t the tension from combining RED and BLU into a single team, that had long since faded.

They were all frightened. Even the Medics were less nonchalant in their bearings as they worked in the lab to make more medi-gun fluid – a life safer but alone it could only do so much to prevent death. The Soldiers a bit more subdued and actually somewhat careful as they drilled on the gun range. Tavish was drinking in the common room – likely wherever his BLU counterpart was, was doing the same just alone or with the other folk Pierre wasn’t sure the location of – joined by Mundy, Jeremy and both Pyros. They were playing poker; alcohol and gambling, a good way to avoid the topic even if it hung over the table like a rain cloud about to burst.

The Heavies weren’t too far away, sitting at their own table and sharing a bottle as well. Their conversation was in Russian, not Pierre’s strongest language. But even if he couldn’t parse the meaning of their words, their tone was serious. Likely they were having a deep conversation about life and death. Out of everyone – almost everyone anyway – those two seemed to be taking it the most stoically. Enviable.

The Engineers were working in what was left of the Respawn room. Pierre didn’t step in to listen to whatever kind of conversation they might be having lest it be about how unlikely it was that they could fix it in a timely manner. Instead he continued down the hall, turning into where the bedrooms were. He could go and find out what the rest of the team was up to and later probably would but for now he was fine with his patrol being done.

Louis was still in the room they now shared, seated on the cushioned chair by the coffee table, reading a book. The very picture of relaxed and unbothered. Pierre could just about slap him.

“You’re back.” Louis’ tone as he lowered his book was just as unbothered as his posture and behavior. “Anything interesting to report about the rest of the team?”

“No.” Pierre walked over and sat in the other chair by the coffee table. He was too anxious to sit still for long but he could force it for a little while. “You’re awfully relaxed.”

“Yes. I am sure that it will be fine. Dell and Con are two of smartest people alive, they can fix it.”

Pierre didn’t doubt for a second that if given enough time, those two could rebuild Respawn as if it were brand new, perhaps even make it better somehow in the process. “Can they do it in time though?” With how many robots there were versus only the eighteen of them with no Respawn, they weren’t likely to last long. They could maybe hold the base for a while but… they were bound to lose people no matter what. And eventually they would lose everyone.

“We can only hope that they can and give them the space or whatever assistance they need in order to do so. In the meantime, there is no use worrying about it.”

True. There wasn’t much to be gained from worrying about it. But… Pierre had grown soft whilst working for RED and had only gotten more so since the teams had merged. It wasn’t just his own life or even just his and his son’s that he feared losing but everyone’s else too. He’d let himself grow attached, make friends and maybe even fall in love again. Something that was perhaps a bigger mistake than he ever would’ve thought.

“You’re going to bail, aren’t you?”

Louis was quiet for a moment, his face unreadable even without the mask as he met Pierre’s gaze. “What makes you think that?”

“You’re relaxed as if you really, truly aren’t even a little concerned for your life, let alone anyone else’s. Which is fine. Understandable even. Leaving is the most logical thing to do in this scenario. When the robots come tomorrow – or whenever they do – and kill everyone, it’ll be the perfect cover to fake your death and run away. The higher ups won’t even consider looking for you to punish you for not fulfilling your contract. I wish you luck in it.” Pierre stood and started to walk away.

He didn’t get two steps before Louis grabbed his wrist. It wasn’t forceful, he could’ve broken it easily and marched away, but didn’t. Instead he looked down at Louis, waiting for him to say his piece.

“You’re wrong.”

“Trying to save face, huh? I guess it’s good to know I don’t mean absolutely nothing to you. If you’re planning to ask me to run away with you, I must decline. I… just can’t do that.” He couldn’t bear to leave his friends and estranged son to such a fate.

Louis’ grip tightened on his wrist. “You’re wrong.” It was the first time any emotion whatsoever had shown in his voice since they’d found out Respawn was busted. “You’re wrong. Please do not assume that about me. I would not leave you or any of them to die, not if there’s even a chance I could prevent it. Even if the only thing I can do is delay it, I will by whatever means necessary.”

That was… fear in his voice, fear and desperation, still reigned in but there for sure. His grip was tight enough that it almost hurt as he looked up at Pierre. Mask of indifference finally cracked, his gaze was almost pleading now, pleading that Pierre understand him and the things he couldn’t say. … An act? No, probably not. He’d been good at faking no emotion whatsoever but that was always easier than pretending to feel something one didn’t. And what would there to be gain from such an act anyway?

“It seems I may have been mistaken in my reading of your response to this situation. I apologize.”

Louis grip relaxed as he looked away, almost as if he were ashamed by such a display, as mild as it was. “I…” He paused to take a deep breath, steadying himself before looking at Pierre again. “It is understandable how you came to that conclusion. I don’t fault you for it.” Even though it had clearly hurt him enough to crack his mask, he was no longer letting that show. It was impressive but also… sad. Did he really feel the need to hide his emotions even now that they might all be dead in a matter of days?

Well it’s not like Pierre was exactly talking about his feelings on the matter much either. Really what was there even to say? ‘I don’t want to die.’ ‘I don’t want my friends or son to die.’ ‘I don’t want you to die.’ Emotional conversations were hard when they were real and not done as part of a spying mission.

Pierre returned to his chair. He lifted a hand, placing it on the coffee in offer to Louis. After only a moment of hesitation, Louis took it and even returned Pierre’s light squeeze. Even if they couldn’t talk about it, they could sit here and just be with each other for a bit.