#because i feel silly telling people this stuff
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
do you have any advice on like getting better with writing?
hey! i definitely do!! i’ve talked about this before but i have a lot of new readers, so ill start off by saying i’ve been writing for my entire life, and im 30 so thats a lot of years. if you’re a new writer, trust me i used to be there and good god if you guys could see the stuff i published in old fandoms 💀 really, really bad haha
i only say that because i by no means consider myself a great writer, there are fic writers in this space alone that i’m always so floored by and look up to…. but people have been very kind about my writing style and it’s something that took time to develop it’s not something i just “had”. outside of fic, i was a literature and creative writing major, and got very used to writing and workshopping pieces.
now! onto some actual advice —
1. read a lot and read more, but read stuff you actually like and not stuff you feel pressured to read. i love high brow litfic as much as the next pretentious english major, but i started writing a ton after reading a bunch of kindle unlimited romance because it was fun and it got me inspired
2. watch well written television for dialogue and pacing. people do not talk in proper english, they don’t say things eloquently, and there’s a lot of filler and fluff. that’s good! that’s real, so i love well written tv to show me how it’s done
3. get comfortable writing in weird ways. for years i used to sit down and be like “ah okay so chapter one” and then i was stuck, stalled out, and just felt bad about the process. when i started writing both aurora and tnt, i started in the middle. i had an image of a scene in my mind (for tnt it was actually the claim attempt) and i just wrote it out and then bounced around later
4. outlines are your friend! sometimes i’ll get a random line of dialogue in my head or an image but that doesn’t mean i’m ready to write it. i throw it in one big outline so i don’t lose it.
5. if you’re wanting to write really good smut i have two suggestions but please only do this to your personal comfort level. this is what works for me but do not make yourself uncomfortable— for good smut, i watch porn for reference and for good dirty talk, i listen to nsfw audio. i like to really write the visuals for smut and make it immersive but lol i haven’t experienced everything ive written about and logistics of the body are hard!! i usually find a video or an audio and let that help guide the imagery im writing.
6. be comfortable with the editing process. i know the temptation to post something the minute you finish it is there, but sleep on it. come back and edit it, read the dialogue out loud if you have to. i swear you’ll make the piece better just by leaving it and coming back.
7. don’t be afraid to post. most people are kind, and the worst thing that will happen is you don’t get a lot of notes. that’s okay, it’s a process.
8. research! as i’m writing anything, even a silly little oneshot, im doing research on something. i am hyper aware that im not korean and have never spoken korean or lived in korea, so for my fic i try my hardest to ground elements of that in reality. i truly cannot tell you how many hours ive spent reading like korean case law on revenge porn just for like 3 lines of dialogue. and you don’t have to go that crazy, i’m arguably too intense, but i do think some of that helps the story and the dialogue feel real.
9. describe something real- every place in my writing is based on something real. every apartment, hotel, cafe, venue, etc., they’re all either something i’ve found online or drawn from my life and use that to my advantage. i use apartment listings and save photographs, i do google map walks to see what neighborhoods look like, anything to get the feel of a place or an experience. for the christmas chapters of aurora, i watched hours of gwangju walking tour videos on youtube while i was writing just to understand how to describe their walk in the snow. it really helps me to have a visual that i can put words to.
10. find your weak points and see what other writers do differently. if you want to improve, you should find a small place to start. is it dialogue? overall plot? smut? etc. - i’ll never forget being on a creative writing retreat, and a very important writing professor said to me “everything you write is very pretty but you haven’t said anything. you have to decide to say something.” that feedback hurt, but sent me down a much better writing path when i realized where i was falling short and not challenging myself.
okay i hope some of this was helpful and if it’s a mess im sorry im on mobile. i really just love writing so deeply and will always talk about it, so i hope this was helpful 💗
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
chat is this real!!!
relationship charts + fun facts utc!! (sorry it's a lot of yapping)
- siyun and malleus met the same way novel!yuu (yuuya) and malleus met except siyun didn't take too kindly to him using magic on them. they had beef for a while and it settled into Respect, Sorta
(translation by @/yuurei20)
- siyun is the janitor (refused nrc studentship from crowley) so they've met a few of the students before their ingame appearances (jamil, ruggie and. jade)
- almost killed grim the first time they met
- leona often just grabs their ankle when they're passing by his spot in the botanical garden. he either makes them fall or uses them as a pillow, depending on his mood and the clothes they're wearing (if it's their regular nrc uniform then it's eep time, if it's the janitor uniform he's making them fall on their ass)
- it's not that vil isn't ambitious, it's just that siyun isn't all that interesting of an investment in the first place. so when his first few attemps didn't work, he gave up on them. they're not enough of an eyesore for him to fix anyway (also their reception to his ministrations were pretty hostile, epel bias)
- the first time epel and siyun ever met, they stood up to vil for him and all he felt was. Shame. wow, the magicless janitor is stronger, braver than him. he's. so. thankful (it's ok they magishift it out🔥🔥🔥)
- the light magic thing is uhhhh Lore Stuff, siyun has a strange connection to blot and that same connection makes them recoil at light magic (not the users themselves. Usually)
- THE ROOK AND SIYUN (onesided)BEEF!!!!! rook spreading l'amour et la beauté and forcefeeding them cheese (someone said rook is like aoyama's cousin and that's wonderful to me) meanwhile siyun is devising a hundred and seven evil plans to take him down. he chases them down as much as he does beastmen and siyun has taken to returning the energy by throwing increasingly sharp objects in his general direction (they miss by a mile cause their aim sucks ASSSSSS also their eyesight is shit but they have Bigger Problems rn)
more seriously though, rook's compliments and flattery may Mostly be in good faith but he makes siyun feel. Less Than Human (more so than they already aren't)
- if you couldn't tell, i have a huge freshmen/yun found family bias and they are Everything to me. they all think siyun's crush on jade is absolutely nuts (ortho is maybe a Little less unconvinced but he joins in with the others cause it's fun! yun gets it).
after a while, they start getting mad at other students who litter or trash the school cause it means more work for their fuckass janitor🔥🔥🔥(personally i think jack + maybe deuce are already the kind of people to pick up after other people's trash when they see it LIKE NOT ALL THE TIME, THEY’RE NOT SAINTS BUT. yea. meanwhile sebek is ABSOLUTELY the typa guy to YELL at people who litter)
- jamil and siyun were pretty good friends before shit went down in book 4, at least in siyun's perspective. it's not obvious on the chart but it actually took them a shit ton of time to actually make up and be friends again (for real this time!)
- the nrc staff and siyun all agree that crowley is public enemy number 1 (some more playfully than others read, siyun hae) but yea they all got SOMETHING against him. in siyun's case, he used a similar kind of magic as malleus first thing when they got out of the coffin and it got them tweaking really bad because they're kindaaaaaaa allergic to magic (should’ve mentioned this earlier but i forgor
- yunde time! (🤮🤮🤮🤮) siyun fell first and they fell HARD, 0 shame about shouting their love from the top of all the nrc towers or at jade himself, they 🔥dgaf, to say the least. at first, jade honest to god couldn't care less about their silly crush on him, though he did find it funny so he entertained them and ended up catching feelings by book 7 because he's a DUMBASS but by then siyun is like "i give up looking for white girl 🙂↕️✋️ it is not my fate" so jade is yearning + pining TOO FUCKING LATE
anyway, silly fun fact about them cause i feel like it, siyun was in jade's dream in book 7 but they basically looked like floyd
oh and
- floyd calls siyun “grouper fishie/grouper” because
yeaaaaaaaaaa…also he thinks siyun’s crush on jade is funny as shit until jade reciprocates
taglist (tell me if you wanna be added or removed🔥🔥):
@twistedwonderlandshenanigans @distant-velleity @sickle-stick @elenauaurs @heyhellohihowareyou @skriblee-ksk @angelwishess
20 notes
·
View notes
Note
Lmao last time I asked for Avenpaz but this is x reader so what about Aventurine x reader? Hehe thank you :3 (Desperate for some Aventurine stuff 🥰)
Yes you may, i'm going to do general hcs for this because thats what im feeling right now teehee- on a side note, aventurine but its the scene with hua cheng and xie lian with the dice rolling- there was just,,,so much tension in that scene please
♡requests open♡
Cw : gn!reader, mentions of trauma and spoilers for his story and a bit of penacony, fluff. Both established and un established relationship hcs, a little bit of angst
Ok so pre relationship i think that aventurine is actually quick to catch feelings but slow to realize them
Like off the bat he can tell how he feels in about someone, like or dislike, trust or not trust
What is slow to build is how deep that runs, both his romantic feelings and his trust are gained slowly but eventually snowball and that is when he finally either realizes or admits it.
Something i never got in general is when people talk about like how {character} wouldn't trust you until xxx into relationship etc
But the thing is like, are y'all dating people you dont trust? Because especially as someone who is depressed/traumatized, I fully would have to trust someone to get into a relationship, and that trust does not reset to 0 because we got together like??- i promise i will tie this in trust me
The other slight problem with aventurine pre relationship is that after he realizes/admits his feelings to himself he is taking that to his grave. He will casually flirt or maybe drop little hints, but he is content to never speak these feelings out loud to you,
Half of this is a fear of forming intimate connections that he knows he's ultimately powerless to protect, he fears rejection and loss when it truly matters and this prevents him from ever really bringing himself to pursue you. The other half is a subconscious self sabotaging hatred. Despite his fronting he is an insecure and traumatized man who's become jaded by the cosmos. While he at this point would trust you implicitly he cant help the feeling that you won't, dont, and couldn't possibly like him and return his feelings.
Reasonably he knows that he is an attractive man, a man with both wealth,power, and status, and yet he feels that you won't possibly want him. His self loathing even in his subconscious holds him back, giving a false sense of apathy towards your relationship status that outweighs the jealousy he feels. In truth the jealousy only serves to prove his point on how you don't return his feelings
There are scenarios that I think he would confess first if you don't beat him to the punch.
The first is said jokingly, and yet there is not that sharp witted teasing edge or bite to his words, unexpectedly raw and genuine when he poses a simple “what if” question
The second involves many different factors, maybe you catch him on a good day, maybe he sees the way you seem to look at him and in your eyes is the reflection of his own affections. Maybe you catch him on a bad day, and in his pit of despair he decides that it is at least worth the risk to gamble.
These are the moments he confesses to you, bated breath waiting for the other shoe to drop and for you to lash out with laughter or anger but he is delighted when you return his feelings
Ok ok enough angst-
This man is a shameless flirt, he is romantic long before you every begin a relationship- you just take it as a joke, a bit that's silly between close friends
After you manage to pry that confession out of him or you make the first move, he is shockingly quick to put a label on it, you are his romantic partner! His love, hes your lucky charm
Ok ok like i said before i really don't thing that aventurine is the type to be in an actual relationship with someone he A)doesn’t trust, or B) doesn’t love
So by the time you get in a relationship there is already a strong foundation of real trust, but he has already realized he is hopelessly in love.
I will die on the hill that aventurine is a stage 100 clinger
This is a clingy man to his core, he is sending you 50 messages a day
Good morning, good night, have you eaten? I love you, miss you, literally anything because he truly dose miss you
Have you eaten? Yes? Good have a little treat +500 credits
No? Wait there he's taking you to lunch- or +5000 credits
I know everyone says it but he really does spoil you. Now the way he sees it genuinely isn't as like a bribe but both something that genuinely makes him happy and also he likes to make your life easier
Seeing you happy, being able to spoil you with gifts and treats and money brings him genuine joy, and knowing that he is able to provide some relief from the harsh reality of life makes his a very merry man
As I said, clingy- he loves your time, being able to spend time with you and relax in your presence is truly heaven.
Most of his missions aren't dangerous, just business so he enjoys taking you with him so that he can spend more time with you
He is touch starved for positive physical contact and affection
Sit in his lap, let him sit in yours- honestly he isn't very picky as long as he gets to touch you
If you thought his playful bestie flirting was bad you are gonna die, because he gets so much worse, now that he knows exactly what to say so that he can fluster you he grows ever bolder in his pursuit
No matter what he says his actions always follow his words, he shows he loves you with the way he sees you and treats you, in the way he seems to crave you like a thirsty man craves water or how a plant craves the warm sun, to breathe you in like air and love you tenderly
Even if he is clumsy at love and intimacy he still puts in a profound sense of effort.
The definition of if he wanted to he would. And he definitely wants to
#hsr x reader#honkai x reader#honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#star rail aventurine#hsr aventurine#aventurine honkai star rail#aventurine x reader#aventurine hsr#hsr aventurine x reader
46 notes
·
View notes
Note
hey, saw your tags on my iStop notice and had to say something. if you're a nurse you really gotta take the can't leave port accessed thing super seriously. I think it may apply to all IVs but I have a port so that's what I know.
I don't think I was explicit about it: the reason it is so highly illegal has nothing to do with infection. it is specifically to prevent people from having IV access for illegal drug use.
so imagine how I feel about the port being left in now that I know what they think I wanted from the hospital.
@kelpforestdwellers
(idk how tumblr does notifications for asks so figured I'd tag you)
Yeah that makes sense as the reasoning
But still
Plenty of people have central lines out in the community - people on chemo, long term antibiotics, dyalisis, gastroparesis patients who are TPN / IV hydration / IV antiemetic dependant. And those are just the ones I have met going through y particular ward which is general medical, not specialized.
I know you have been / are going through a very long and frustrating process around getting it added to your official care plan and being properly facilitated to access your port at home.
But I have assumed that's just bureaucratic paperwork nonsense about like. Which doctor wants to put their signature to it that they've done due diligence about risk management with you. And stuff about who's job it was to organise it for you.
As opposed to being issues with just having an accessed port at home itself.
It is obviously a huge fuckup to have an /accidentally/ accessed port - but that's still to my mind mostly about infection control.
If they did actually think you were at risk of unsafe IV drug use then yes that is also a major beach of duty of care.
I just had a quick scroll through your blog and you haven't said anything about the process of discharge besides the fact that there was back and forth about when it would be. So tbh I'm confused how you also didn't know it was still accessed, as it's a whole process to de-access it unless you were expecting procedures to be done while you are unconscious. But there was so much other things you were chasing for a safe discharge that I guess it just got forgotten for you.
It sounds like that ward were not confident with the port - you mentioned them getting snotty about doing a blood draw - which is wild to me, because central lines are amazing for that. It's so easy to do a blood draw, we love it. Especially ports! Way easier than PICCs. The only issue is that a phlebotomist will not do patients with central lines, so the nurse has to do it. So it's not a 'patient refused' it's a 'not done on pleb round - awaiting nurse to do it's
So the fact that that happened implies a high percentage of nurses there aren't familiar with central lines, which almost certainly contributed to it not being on their mental checklist for when you left.
Which is a silly situation but also kinda familiar. One of our gastroparesis patients has a standing plan that if she ever needs to go to hospital, she will access her port herself and draw her own blood samples at home before she goes, because it's not worth dealing with ER staff where nobody is confident to initially access a port.
Anyway yeah
I can see the reasoning about it being bad to have an unplanned IV access for drug abuse concerns
But I still would absolutely not blink an eye about a patient coming in from home or going home with central line access. But it should be part of a clearly documented plan for discharge.
I'm in aotearoa though, so different laws obviously. If there is something similar here, I wonder if it's one of those things where they tell you as part of putting the port in in the first place, but. For anyone else it's not relevent.
I hope things start moving for you for being able to access it safely at home.
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
My cat Felix died two days ago and I just need to ramble and cry about him. When my older cat passed, he was almost 20 and he'd been gradually getting worse over months so by the time we said goodbye, we were pretty ready for it. But with Felix, he was barely 15 and he went so quickly. Like within a week he went from a happy lively cat to one that could barely drag himself up to his litter tray and meowed really helplessly all the time. I miss him so much and I hate feeling sick all the time but Felix was truly MY cat. He always wanted to curl up on my lap, he meowed at me until I picked him up and he always purred the second he was in my arms, he'd ditch everyone else the minute I walked through the door and I can't stand that he's not there to do any of this anymore. We're waiting to get his ashes back and all I can think is that I don't want his ashes, I want him. I want him meowing at me and following me and curling up next to me or on top of me. I want to feed him again and stroke him and pay stupid amounts of money at the vets to make him better. I wish I had done so much more. I held him as he passed away but I wish I had held him differently, I wish I had given him more treats, I wish I had played with him more. Everyone keeps telling me I gave him the best life but all I can think about is what I didn't give him and I hate it and I'm so fucking sad all the time and I just want my cat back!
I miss him so much.
#personal#i just needed to rant somewhere#i feel like shit and i needed to get these thoughts out#because i feel silly telling people this stuff#but i just needed to vent it somewhere#so here it is
0 notes
Text
Rest
Guess what? I've got more Jamil x reader for y'all. You can also find this on ao3. No warnings, just 866 words of kinda fluffy(?) caretaking stuff with gender-neutral reader.
At this point, you know Jamil’s schedule almost as well as he does. So, when you have the chance, you head to Scarabia’s kitchen, hoping to spend some time with Jamil while he and the other students prepare dinner.
However, when you enter, it takes you but a moment to notice Jamil’s uncharacteristic fumbling and the tired look in his eyes. The way Jamil’s chopping the vegetables has you worried about him cutting himself with that knife he’s usually so adept with, and it seems it’s only force of habit that’s keeping him on track.
You frown, and when your eyes meet Jamil’s, you can already see him put his guard up.
So he knows what state he is in, huh? And still, here he is.
It seems Jamil is reading your thoughts, all of him telling you drop it before any words are even said.
At least he still lets you lean in and give a quick kiss to his cheek in greeting.
“Hello love. Do you still have a lot on your agenda for today?” you ask, keeping your tone low for at least some semblance of privacy in the busy kitchen.
“Nothing I can’t handle,” is the response you get.
Of course.
It takes a little more pestering before Jamil actually answers your question. Your lips purse. That list is far too long to your liking.
You take a moment to think, juggling your own plans and to-do list against the urgency of the things Jamil mentioned.
“Will Kalim be eating from that?” you ask, pointing at the food Jamil is preparing.
“Yes.”
“Alright, I won’t be touching that one, then. I’ve gotta do a few things but I’ll be back when you’re done here.”
“Don’t,” Jamil says with a glare, clearly aware of what you’re thinking.
Yet even his disapproving look doesn’t have the usual weight behind it.
“Yes. I will,” you say firmly, even as your heart curls inwards with another bout of concern.
Really, when did he get so tired?
And how did you not notice it earlier?
You leave the kitchen before Jamil can protest further, hurrying through the dorm corridors to find Kalim.
Soon you have an enthusiastic – and concerned – supporter for your plans. You have Kalim point out a few reliable Scarabia students to help with a few of the most urgent matters Jamil mentioned – cleaning up the common areas, delivering some paperwork to Crowley, preparing some dorm-wide notices – while you see to Kalim getting his school supplies in order for the following day. You even recruit a couple of third years to help Kalim with his homework.
You’ll see to the rest tomorrow – after all, you do also have a boyfriend to look after.
Your conversation over dinner can hardly be called anything else than an argument – despite Kalim’s best attempts at acting as a moderating force between you two. It is very tempting to ask Kalim to tell Jamil to take the rest of the day off – it’s not like Jamil would be willing to openly disobey a direct order. Still, you really don’t need to remind Jamil of his position on top of everything else that you’re already doing more or less against his wishes.
Eventually, however, Jamil’s had a square meal, the most urgent things on his to-do list are being taken care of, and you’ve managed to drag him to his bed.
“I really wish you wouldn’t push yourself so hard,” you murmur, your arms wrapped tightly around Jamil. You’re telling yourself you really do just want to cuddle, to offer some respite to Jamil. Still, there might also be a part of you worried that if you were to let go, he’d just jump up and get back to working himself to the bone.
Yet, for all his protestations, just the fact that you’ve gotten Jamil to lay down with you speaks volumes of his current exhaustion.
“I can’t just leave my duties, albi. You know this.”
“Making yourself too indispensable, is what you’re doing,” you protest.
Oh, you know it’s not so simple. Not with his background, not with all the expectations and assumptions.
But sometimes you really wish it would be.
Jamil merely scoffs in response to your words.
Still, it is undeniable that he is slowly beginning to relax in your arms, slowly bringing his head closer to yours. His eyes are starting to flutter, too.
“I will still need to help Kalim with his homework, at the very least.”
You wonder who he is trying to convince more, you or himself.
“Amin and Khalil are helping him. They’re basically top of their classes, aren’t they? I’m sure they’ve got it.”
Still, Jamil frowns.
You sigh. He really is not letting go, is he?
“Do you want me to go supervise?” you ask.
And leave you, unsaid yet hanging there right after your words.
“Don’t,” Jamil eventually says, the word barely more than a breath.
It seems he has accepted his fate.
You softly caress Jamil’s hair, listening to his softening breathing.
And when you wake up, wholly unaware of having been lulled to sleep in the first place, it’s to the lightest of touches from Jamil’s fingers.
Tagging @diodellet @twstgo @crystallizsch @jamilvapologist @jamilsimpno69 as per request If you'd like to be tagged for any future works, let me know!
#twisted wonderland#jamil viper#twisted wonderland x reader#jamil viper x reader#woop it sure has been quite the burst of creative energy lately#especially since this has apparently been sitting in my drafts since last august#but now you have it#I certainly can’t promise to keep up with this rate of writing (in fact I can promise I won't) but hey let's enjoy it while it lasts#and yes I’m hopping on the “jamil using arabic terms of endearment” train#I’ve read so many fics doing that that at this point it feels more natural than english ngl#even if english would probably be more canonical#also is it a *good* way to go about it to just pretty much just force someone to rest like this? probably not#is it sometimes the only way to get stubborn people to stop for a bit? perhaps#and is it something I might do?#...possibly#also oh boy can you tell that I'm avoiding jamil's dialogue like the plague lately?#I really need to reread so much of his stuff to get a hang of his voice again#(also if you notice typos pls tell me because they always bug me)#(or other wonkiness because I'm not a native speaker and sometimes things just go silly)#anyways hope y'all enjoy!
176 notes
·
View notes
Text
As soon as I tell people I study history they always want to drop their history opinions on me. As soon as I tell people I study Christianity but I'm not personally religious OH BOY do they want to tell me their religion opinions. Usually these are much more interesting than their history opinions. Yesterday we were touring a potential wedding venue and the event coordinator told us his entire religious background (he was a preacher before going into public history) (the venue was a museum) and then ranted for a solid ten minutes about grace and works and also people who use religion to gain power and misinterpret and mistranslate the Bible to oppress people and every beef he had with the history of the church. Right there in the reception space. 10/10 interaction
#I have no opinion on theology as someone who is not religious that is between believers and their god#But I do genuinely enjoy hearing other people's points of view on their faith if they're open to sharing I study this stuff for a reason#And he was completely right about the history stuff imo (he went to seminary and now works in history so he knows his shit obviously)#He also tried very hard to be cool about me being nonbinary and my fiancée being Filipino#Asked me if I prefer to be called bride or groom and stuff and tried quite hard to pronounce Jen's surname but sort of made fun of himself#For having trouble with it#Straight white guy trying very hard to be an silly thing but it felt totally genuine#It was nice#Also yes I consider it in poor taste to tell my religious beliefs to strangers#But 1) if they ask my area of study I feel like it's better to tell them I'm not personally Christian because I don't want them to come#To incorrect conclusions and 2) it was a wedding planning thing so the fact that we are an interfaith couple was relevant
30 notes
·
View notes
Note
i don't think you've made a solaris design yet.... but am i allowed to request solaris anyways. or will i get beaten with two billion hammers until i die. for this.
No hammers for you, these asks hold me accountable to actually design the characters...
Filled a double page spread with just her...thus the 'Oops! All Solaris'
On THAT note, +2 sketchbook pages filled, 6/30 completed. I have 2 weeks until my hand in so I gotta pick up the pace. Blimey.
#waugh ty for the ask a lot of this was me getting a feel for her design but...im very fond of it...idk.... it's kinna fun#her shapes are nice..i loosely based her body type on my mom#it also took me a hot MINUTE to figure out what she'd wear then i remembered dungarees exist#I also like her in a jumpsuit kinna thing like prism#i just got silly with her!!! I'm trying to push myself more and more with my art idk if you can tell#like yk I'm trying hard not to fall into skinny and white etc etc eventhough im just getting dtarted with people and such#and yk i have improved and that's crazy to me because i look at stuff i did a month ago and im like hm! im doing better#and that's. awesome#i love it here#also uhh i really like giving characters an eye shape to fit their personality it's fun to me so yeah. permanently lidded eyes for her#she has 2 emotes unlocked/j#but nyeah!!!#[agent moose's art]#ieytd#solaris#commander solaris#tw healed scars#tw scars
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#maybe i am a little annoyed or. whatever over stuff i put some effort into getting right clicked and saved and cropped and posted on twitter#or pinterest or wherever#even tho its not really '''art'''' technically so ? am i allowed to feel like that? idk#it feels silly to get frustrated over.. screenshots and gifs and little mods i never even published#but things do take time to make and then seeing them posted by someone who talks about how much they like thembut not where they found them#or who put that effort into making them......... ahh#And. because i dont know how im supposed to feel im definitely not gonna roll up to people like 'hey i made this credit me now' because#i tell myself who cares its not that big of a deal. but then it is . but it isnt.#i have bigger problems but when its late and my brains getting empty i think too much about nothing#★
22 notes
·
View notes
Note
Smthn that I noticed alot on ur art is having a dark background with a very bright accent color (which look amazing btw) dunno if this will be helpful or not lol
@dragon-tamer-1
Thanks for the sweet words and reviews! ❤️❤️❤️
Now after many thoughts, here's the result:
#ask#art challenge#evil art style#lil moon#drag'#!¡ anon#...LJ I can't change my nationality silly#me doing artz#I love people telling me what they noticed I usually do artstyle-wise because there's always at least one thing I just never noticed myself#:D#well there are several things this time that are so very interesting#like the body proportions comment#I do always end up squishing a bit the proportions because yes cuter and it feels weird to do more realistic ones#like the background choice and bright accent color part#I always have such a hard time choosing a background color XD#I try so many colors before settling on one I might choose more often darkish backgrounds because it looks better with light colored bones#mmm I do draw often skelies or just pretty light themed ocs#I should add some darks to my team XD#the bright accent color? I didn't notice I just like colors ✨ And I'm absolutely enamored with glowing sparkling etc stuff so bright#the shading comment is fascinating to me prime good info I dunno how I want to shade Cell shading? It's so easy to mess it??? Rendering? Ho#does one do that properly??? Now I kinda stopped worrying and just shade like whatever pffft XDc so I like hearing how it translates from#your side ;D#I'm saving all the compliments in my special file btw#I'm very proud my drawings get percieved as soft and joyful that is absolutly a vibe I can bear with ;3#also#a tear's soul#is the name of a project I'm still in the brainstorm phase#I did not intend to name drop that soon but I thought it fitted well the challenge#(‾◡◝)
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
my mom literally trying to gaslight me in real time is sooo funny
#can i say quite literally the most cunty annoying thing in the entire world.#it is very frustrating to me that i send my birthday wishlist. a month before my birthday.#and everyone waits till the last week to get stuff. like.#i get my stuff for people 3 weeks before birthdays and christmas most of the time if they give me lists#and literally some ppl are shopping for me like 4 days before my bday and asking what i want#even though i already. sent a wishlist.#and i don't get it like#i never buy myself fun things bc i hate spending money#so i ask for fun silly stuff you have to buy online bc otherwise i'll never get it#and then they also never get it for me bc they never look at what i want until last minute#and i don't get it lol!!! makes me feel like no one actually wants to get me anything#and just does it out of obligation like#i care about getting stuff ppl want and making them happy#IDK I KNOW THIS SOUNDS SO CUNTY I SHOULDN'T COMPLAIN#THAT PPL WANNA GET ME THINGS AT ALL#it's just like. i care a lot about effort yenno.#SIGH WHATEVER. I JUST THINK IT'S FUNNY MY MOM TRIED TO GASLIGHT ME ABT THIS CONVO#i told her to tell my brothers gf not to get me x piece of dndads merch cuz tay wanted to get it for me#and that the gf could get me dragon age posters i put on my google doc#my mom comes back down says the dndads stuff wouldn't come by my birthday#and i said i literally told you to tell her not to get her that because tay wants to get me that#and she was like no you said the other thing#NO. I DID NOT. LOL.#AND THEN SHE ROLLED HER EYES AT ME WHEN I CORRECTED HER#like.............................................#ANYWAY. SORRY FOR BEING THE WORST MOST ANNOYING GIRL IN THE WORLD AND#EXPRESSING THE MOST GLARINGLY FIRST WORLD PROBLEM OF ALL TIME#i just want ppl to genuinely care about me on my birthday like sorry if that is too much to ask!!!#maia.txt
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
this will be unpopular probably but idk i've been called slurs a time or two and it's personally uncomfortable to see... obviously do as you please in general but when interacting with me or my posts i'd really prefer if yall didn't casually use fag, etc in place of gay and stuff 👍
#gently draws a boundary#it feels like its become hashtag cool to call people fag and fruit and fruity without considering that people may be uncomfortable with it..#i understand the phenomenon of reclamation but thats an opt in process. it shouldnt be opt out#ive written slurs into my fics like once or twice and its solely because i couldnt imagine it any other way lol but for me its just very not#a casual thing.#obviously this is one post#and it feels silly to pin#and even then i dont expect people to look at my blog before interacting or anything#but if you happen to come here often i would appreciate it 😔#also i realized my tags imply people have called me directly that stuff and fortunately not#but its a bit. unnerving to see people reblogging my stuff and saying that two dudes are fags or fruits or fairies or queers (this one#is highly controversial lmaooo i know okay but literally as a noun. it makes me think of my dad telling me about how he used to play smear#the queer but dw he loves me !!! 😬)#anyway seeing people say that two dudes are soooo those. is a bit unsettling for me. it's often one to one with how homophobic people say it#i understand that's not intentional on yall's parts! obviously#lol#but its never going to be something that doesnt make me uncomfortable. and i thought id just say something because tbh it feels weird not to#so i would appreciate if you would be considerate of it#again like. on my blog. talking to me or on my posts. i don't expect any claim to how yall act elsewhere
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#6 hours and i'm trying not to feel sad about my domestic prompt i posted today but#sometimes as really any creative person will tell you it's hard to feel like you're doing something people are interested in because#of numbers which i hate the numbers game#but idk 6 hours and 35 notes is kinda sad for me i guess#i'm not asking for pity reblogs and know people often also put this stuff in queues#but idk#i'm also post-period so i think i'm in my silly sads#bc i'm still grateful for any like or reblog and the people who write very kind things in the comments and stuff#like y'all i love y'all sometimes i do a lil screencap and shove it in my 'silly sads' folder to read when i feel like this#idk. i know my art isn't for everyone and suptober i don't use a lot of colors and their noses are big and maybe i'm not as expressive as#i'd like to be with my figures and faces and art in general but idk#i'm in my ~*silly sads*~ i jut don't know how to like idk#i hate talking about this bc in one voice I'll sound SUPER ungrateful for people who usually always like comment or share my stuff and i'm#NOT whatsoever ungrateful like i said i store you in my silly sads folder lol y'all are the whole reason why i keep drawing#i just wish i knew how to feel like an artist i guess
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
I can feel my heartbeat in my teeth.
#i am. bit stressed out.#pets have been up and down lately and it's made me worry#and being ill always makes my anxiety spike#and because I've been so tense then I'm worried I'll trigger a migraine#and i think i might be getting my period AGAIN#which may be because of stress also idk. need to make a doctor's appointment about that.#need to get a referral from my dentist for my jaw.#need to refil my prescription.#and losing the last couple of weeks of jan has really thrown me#i don't know when I'll be back to being able to work properly#and i really wanted to do so fun stuff for valentine's day but i know that's just not realistic now#i know people say January always feels so long but i feel like I'm already running out of time!!#i know most of this is silly i wish i could tell my nervous system that because she is. not happy.#maybe tag vomitting will help. idk.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i hate not relating to writeblr (writer/author tumblr) because i want to talk about writing stuff but so many writers are like. organized. and they count how many words they write, and they actually regularly write, and. like.
i write in a whirlwind, and i don't track my words, and i barely finish anything, and i'm a mess, and i take a lot of breaks from writing because my brain is a mess, and i just
s t r u g g l e
#void keith talks#i want to talk about my writing feelings SO MUCH but it feels like nobody understands#non-writers look at me like i'm insane#writers look at me like “boy you live like this?” (like that one meme)#there's no winning and it feels like nobody cares#any time i make something about my ocs nobody engages with it#because i'm the Funny Silly Art man-thing. and that's all i am to most people online (outside of tumblr)#it's the autism thing all over again because nobody cares either way when i tell them#like i LIKE being autistic! but most people *don't* treat me like a PERSON when i tell them. or they just don't care and then i feel dumb#only my fellow autistic friends and people online understand and it makes me frustrated that i have to be inside this bubble to be HEARD!!!#rambling in the tags#talking into the void i guess#void keith rambles#i guess this counts as vent post stuff? maybe
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
this Tylenol ain’t shit w
#talkingcore#emotions. man.#there’s so much music that I just haven’t listened to in a bit and it’s making me feel things it’s not even like sad things I’m like damn#how long has it been since I’ve listened to beautiful stranger by Madonna as featured in Austin powers international man of mystery#but also something in my brain feels like it needs to cry like I don’t feel like I physically can but something needs to be released#so do I go pet sounds? smile? falsettos? I feel like I need to be in a sleeping bag and Contemplate#fun fact! Kendra Morris has an absolutely stunning cover of don’t talk (put your head on my shoulders)#I’m pretty neutral on beach boys covers tbh I’m never crazy about them since like they really never measure up#how many mid covers of god only knows can I take? not many. but like she & him have their little Brian Wilson tribute I like that.#the covers are a lot better when they don’t try to perfectly replicate whatever the fuck Brian Wilson was doing they aren’t him#brain wants to go melancholy mode but I’ve no clue over what. girl just tell me what I’m supposed to be sad over I’ll commit to the bit#need to keep listening to new stuff but also need old stuff Maybe that’s it maybe I just need old stuff again? like routine?? shit idk#also like at 5 am I woke up and remembered how in choir people kept comparing me to the director they had the year before me#and the thing is she had the same name as someone else in choir that was student teaching my first semester so I kept thinking they were#referring to her Id be in my choir fit my silly suit my proud butch uniform and they’d be like oh this is so ‘insert name’!#and it kept throwing me off because the student teacher was like. not like me at all so I was like fuck#what kind of girl core energies am I accidentally emitting this is Bad. so anyway 5 am I’m like fuck it I need to research this person#I search. find her. she’s butch. I’m blessed. they weren’t lying like man we do such a good job at being generic! yay!#butch And in choir! love to see it! keep thinking how I am destined to be like in my 40s doing mundane tasks#I’m gonna be soooooo good at watering plants and putting salt on the sidewalk before it snows and cleaning drains#need to be a dad mom so fucking bad you don’t get it I need to drive carpool and take off work for dentist trips and watch hgtv#AHHHH i think that got rid of some of the sad lfg💥💥💥💥this must be super long god damn sorry
10 notes
·
View notes