#because i feel like im going insane alone abt this

[scruncheduppaper]

if i see one more ford hate post on my tl im genuinely going to go insane

YES hes a dick but a) hes a fictional character b) he CHANGES and DEVELOPS and REDEEMS HIMSELF BY THE END OF THE SERIES and c) ITS COOL THAT HE HAS AN EGO. ITS COOL

and also im starting to lose interest in fiddlestan because at this point its becoming clear that people only ship it because they dont like ford and they think that fidds doesnt deserve him AS IF THE CONFLICT ISNT THE APPEAL OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP??? AS IF IT ISNT THE POINT??? AND AS IF THEIR RECONCILIATION BY THE END OF THE STORY ISNT A PERFECT ENDING TO FORDS ARC im gonna bite someone i swear.

look someone on twitter said that “some fiddlestan shippers are just fiddauthor shippers in disguise” and its PISSING ME THE FUCK OFF because IM SORRY DO YOU GUYS NOT SHIP CHARACTERS BECAUSE YOU’RE INTERESTED IN DIFFERENT RELATED CHARACTER DYNAMICS?? WHAT ARE YOU JUST HERE FOR THE LOVEY DOVEY SHIT??? the REASON why fiddlestan is INTERESTING TO ME in the FIRST PLACE is because it elaborates on both of these characters with respect to their relationships to ford!!! there’s nothing wrong with the fact that theyre connected to him!!! these arent real people, these are characters that act as vehicles to explores messages in stories!!! of COURSE i only ship fiddlestan in relation to fiddauthor, why would i cut ford out here completely when it’s SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING TO RECOGNISE THEIR COMPLEX DYNAMICS IN RELATION TO HIM???

and i hear people going like “oh well i just wanna see fiddleford happy!!” and im like. but without the conflict. like who is he. some twink you can just mold however you want?? without his Flaws and his Complex Relationships with his family and ford and his eventual descent into madness What are you Seeing in him?? not to mention the fact that i dont think stan would treat him better anyways lol

and also im getting the vibe that the reason a lot of people ship fiddlestan nowadays is because people like. dislike ford?? and i said this just now but like hes genuinely such an interesting character as well and it makes me sad to see that the only people who appreciate his character idolise him without seeing his flaws and literally everyone else just hates him like YALL TALK SHIT ABT LIKING MORALLY GREY CHARACTERS BUT WHEN A CHARACTER ACTUALLY IS MORALLY GREY YOU TURN AROUND AND GO LIKE “ehhhhh” like COME ON PLEASE YOU HAVE TO SEE THE VISION FORD IS STILL COOL AND IM GONNA DEFEND HIM WITH MY LIFE

its actually kinda pissing me off the amount of fluffy characterisation fiddlestan gets within the fandom, at the expense of ford, bc oh my fucking godddd PLEASEEE CAN WE HAVE THE ERA WHEN I FIRST DISCOVERED FIDDLESTAN BACKKK BECAUSE THE CONTENT THEN WAS SO FUCKING GOOD

[curseofbreadbear]

cassie: gregory didn't hurt anybody!

me: oh you poor sweet summer child

[mwagneto]

okay google how do i move out of eastern europe but stay in the eu but go somewhere i speak the language but somewhere that has healthcare and somewhere where i dont need to become a construction worker and also somewhere that is not germany. thanks

[pepprs]

i will shut up abt this i promise but like. the concept of being in a stable safe mutually loving whatever relationship is INSANE . like how can you ever feel bad about yourself or wounded or whatever again. it’s like a superpower or somethi ng. <- doesn’t know what she’s taking abt bc she’s never experienced it or the absence of it after having it merely the negative space of it and is filling in the gaps w logic or something. but it’s INSANE to me. like of course i feel like shit about myself i am catcrumb unloved.jpg!

[skitskatdacat63]

My friend wants to hang out and i want to hang out but also just have absolutely no will to leave my house and not a lot of social capacity atm and UGhhhhh idk how to express that, like yes I want to see you and yes I like to see you but I dont think I have the capacity to be a fun person lately

[dreamspring]

controversial take perhaps but one thing i will say is that i do think it's strange that gaius doesn't die by s5. i honestly think he should have and it would have been a good character/plot development moment. by s5 he's basically irrelevant anyway and merlin doesn't even listen to him really so why is he there!! he's kind of outgrown his role in the show. and i'm not saying this cuz im a gaius hater (i am NOT!) but because it feels thematically strange that he's just around... doing nothing. lowkey. also i hate to be that person but i just Think that it would make merlin's s5 insanity (lowkey.) even more understandable if morgana had just straight up killed gaius when she kidnapped him or if he died some other way in late s4/early s5. he's lost everyone who has ever known abt his magic (except his mother ig) he's sooo alone he has no support. he has to make all these decisions on his own he doesn't want to lose the only people he has left and its hash tag tragedy. like if ur gonna go in that direction... kill gaius. they should have done it. for the plot.

[christronomy]

Hi!! Its the anon who sent in the chan car ride hard thought with the insta reel, if u remember me. But i have came to give u a new hard thought. First off, HAVE YOU SEEN THE VID OF CHAN DOING THAT LIL FINGER MOVE IN HALL OF FAME?!? i feel dizzy. 😵‍💫 anyways, onto my hard thought, picture this, y/n is scrolling on twt and that tweet that says imagine chan fingering you till you cry (or sum like that i hope you know what tweet im talking abt) and it has the chan vid attached to it, THEN BANGCHAN COMES INTO THE ROOM AND CATCHES Y/N AND FINGERS HEER OMGGGG (also i jus noticed that i used twt and tweet instead of X, sorry lol)

of course i remember you! hi, love! and YES, of course i saw that tweet, and i feel totally not normal about it! i would link them but i can't remember which accounts they're from sigh. also i hate calling it "x" bc cause wtf is that. LMAO

but onto this gem of a thought. honestly, he'd tease you so much if he caught you gushing over those tweets, he'd be so sweet about it though. if you don't mind i wanna add some more to this under the cut cause it just came to mind hehe (it's so long and i didn't proof read. help).

he caught you trying to finger yourself in his dorm room after spending almost hours scrolling through your timeline. you weren't really expecting to see anything interesting, but the only thing that popped up was the clips of him and that finger movement that caught your attention and immediately drove you insane. you couldn't help but keep watching the same clip over and over again in awe. it was just so attractive, especially when he made that certain expression and looked right straight at the camera, almost as if he were looking right at you.

so here you were now, desperately bucking your hips up against your hand, sticking your fingers as far inside your cunt as you could, palming your clit to gain some extra friction. you whined exasperatedly as you failed miserably yet again, not being able to get that stimulation you so desperately wanted.

chan got home a few minutes ago, so he's already been watching you, chuckling to himself softly cause you just look so cute like that—legs spread, face flushed a bright red, fucking your fingers in and out of your sopping hole. you keep going for a few more minutes, until you finally toss your head back to groan in frustration because it's just not enough.

his cock is already twitching, straining in his pants at the sight of you, so he can't help but open the door, and he finds it cute how you immediately close your legs and draw your hand back, the surprise of having been caught in the act showing on your face. he laughs softly and sits next to you on the bed. "what's wrong, love? you upset?" he asks, his tone teasing, yet sweet, and you can tell it's because he knows exactly what you were doing.

you nod and sigh, trying your best to come up with a reasonable explanation as to why you were naked on your boyfriend's bed, alone, when you knew he'd always expected you to wait for him whenever you needed to get off. "i was scrolling through twitter, and i saw these tweets about you... i got curious so i spent a while looking at them, and then..." you trail off with a gasp as he suddenly grabs your phone from where you'd put it next to you on the bed. you try to snatch it back, but he's a lot quicker than you. he scrolls a little bit, his expression serious, and then a smug smile plays at the corner of his lips as he looks at you again.

"aw baby, is this why you were so hot and bothered?" he asks, as he shows you one of the clips he was looking at, the same one from earlier, and your face turns an even darker shade of red as you nod. "that why you were using your cute little fingers, even though you know they're not good enough? you've got me right here. you could've asked me instead of just watching videos of me. i'll do whatever you want as long as i can make you feel good."

you feel like you're melting at the way condescension practically drips off his tongue, and you let him spread your legs for you again, this time using his own fingers to tease your swollen bud. he's such a dream come true. "'m sorry i couldn't wait for you," you start, but he shushes you softly. "that's okay, baby. i'm here now. i can help you," he says, and you want to thank him, but your words are cut short by the almost embarrassingly loud squeal that escapes your throat when he suddenly sticks his pointer and middle fingers in without warning, curling them just right, just like in that clip, finally giving you that pleasure you'd been chasing for hours now.

he watches you intently, from the way your back arches, to the way you clench around his fingers, but his expression stays blank. it doesn't take you that long to cum, and when you do, he doesn't stop. you look at him with furrowed brows, whining from the overstimulation, and he simply chuckles at your expression, not saying anything as he keeps torturing your walls with his fingers mercilessly. he's pushing you close to the edge all over again surprisingly quickly, and once you reach your second orgasm, you're already asking him to slow down, stop for a minute, so you can catch your breath. still, he doesn't. by the time you reach your fourth orgasm, you're already a sobbing stuttering mess as he makes you even more dumb on his fingers, begging him to stop, but that only makes him go much faster, his palm smacking your clit as he does so.

"this how needy you are for me? wanting to get yourself off without me cause of some video? you poor thing, thinking your fingers alone would satisfy you. you know you can't do it without me. guess i just have to remind you, hmm?"

[candy-cloud-system]

I have Never seen an endo shit on traumagenic systems - i have seen them shit on people discrediting their experiences but its wild that ur acting like a victim when ur the one being weird. Psychology largely agrees that we do not know enough abt the human brain - specific dissociative disorders - to claim they can Only be caused one way. Also forcing people to reflect on if they're traumatized or not just for them to be "allowed" to use system terminology is Wild - even if every single system is caused by trauma, so many traumatized people have no recollection of the trauma. This isnt black and white and youre silly for caring so much abt internet strangers repressed memories or lack thereof 🩷

First off, learn to read . D N I. Means DO NOT INTERACT! I don’t understand what’s so hard about that, literally you have to go through the effort to read a whole message that’s literally saying don’t interact, go to my account, which tells you not to interact, and then type a whole message and never once do you think “oh! I’m breaking DNI! I’m crossing boundaries! Hm! Maybe I shouldn’t do that!��

So I’m gonna be a bitch to you now cus you broke my DNI and I’ve already stated I’d start being a bitch to people who do that

“I’ve never seen endos shit on traumagenic systems 🥺🥺🥺” okay explain the constant death threats we get. Explain the people LIKE YOU! Who break DNI to tell us shit we literally do not want to hear, explain the people who go into our comment and tell us to off ourselves, call us names, make up slurs. Tell us no one loves us and everyone will leave. Do you understand how fucking stupid you sound?

Traumagenic systems get SOOOO much bullshit from endos and that’s why it’s such a problem. They bully trauma survivors and victims, making them spiral and feel like fucking shit because they didn’t want people mocking a disorder that makes their lives harder. The amount of times I’ve seen endos telling traumagenic systems to die simply because they fucking EXISTED is fucking insane.

Even if you could be a system without trauma, you wouldn’t be in the same groups as us, you wouldn’t have the same terms you wouldn’t be classified with the disorder. Because our disorder stems from TRAUMA! You have to have trauma.

You can have trauma you don’t remember, BUT THAT DOESNT MAKE YOU AN ENDO. It makes you a traumagenic system who doesn’t remember their trauma! You guys fucking groom people into believing their trauma isnt enough or that they’re endo because they can’t remember and it fucking disgusts me.

I’m not making people reflect on their fucking trauma, IM TRYING NOT TO GET HARASSED FOR MINE.

FUNFACT. I AM A VICTIM! I GET HARRASED BY ENDOS FUCKING ALMOST DAILY AT THIS POINT! IM ACTIVELY TELLING YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE CONSTANTLY BECAUSE YOU GUYS CANT FUCKING READ THREE LETTERS !

I AM TIRED OF COMING ON THIS APP AFTER WISHING I DIDNT GO THROUGH THE SHIT I GO THROUGH BECAUSE OF THIS DISORDER AND SEEING SOME RANDOM ASS KID SAYING HOW THEYRE GONNA MANIFEST A SYSTEM FOR THEMSELF. IF YOU FUCKING “CREATE” A “SYSTEM” BECAUSE YOU WANT ONE. FUCK YOU. ACTUALLY FUCK YOU. WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I HATE YOU. AND I HAVE ALL RIGHTS TO HATE YOU.

“You’re so silly for caring 🥺🥺🥺🥺” I CARE BECAUSE I GET HARRASSED TO THE POINT OF SPLITTING OR HAVING CRASHES DUE TO OUR BPD AND NPD. I GET FUCKING HARASSED UNTIL I CANT TAKE IT. THATS WHY I TELL YOU TO NOT FUCKING INTERACT.

Get off my fucking blog. Never come back. Endos and their supporters are NOT fucking welcome here. Respect my fucking DNI.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for not inviting a friend of mine into my dnd campaign?

so i (18nb) have a friend (18nb, Martin) who i play in a main dnd campaign with with all our other friends (Ill name them Dan, Virgil, Mark, and Ray). Dan is our DM after we kicked out the old one bc she was horrible. We're a pretty close group of friends, but lately we've all been really busy with respective school & work, ect. so we didnt play dnd for a solid, like,, 4 months. I DMed a one shot for everyone besides Ray cause she was flaky anyway, and added in my boyfriend Zeke for it.

Everyone had a really fun time w it and I loved everyones characters, especially Dan's. I watch a lot of dnd shows, so i just keep getting more ideas- but while the one shot was fun it was messy as hell. Ive been wanting to write a campaign for a smaller group for a while, (because when i tried making a campaign with the whole group the character creations were... disappointing to say the least. this sounds mean but i created a fairy world that was very magical & told everyone to go crazy on character creation in a world with few/no humans, and like 5/6 people opted to be a human with a fighting class :/ )

ive been writing a campaign that im really proud of and have a good vision for, and decided to include Mark (because we're best friends) Zeke (because he wants to play dnd more and has no opportunities) Dan (bc he never gets to be a player) and then another close friend of mine outside the group named Gabe (who i love but never get to see) I love their characters & we're all super excited.

Thing is. I was briefly talking with Dan, Zeke and Mark about it at school bc I'd sent everyone a little intro message for the world and they were all super excited and wanted to talk to me about their classes. Virgil had no problem with this and was excitedly asking abt the world + characters along with some other friends from school, but Martin got quiet and went and sat by himself. I could tell they were off, but Martin is generally a quiet person anyway and is often sad + doesnt want to talk for like a hundred different reasons, so i left her alone. Later that day in a different class I have with Virgil he showed me his phone where Martin had sent him a message saying she was really disappointed & felt left out that i hadnt invited them to my campaign.

i instantly felt bad and started to text him, but,,,, to be honest, i dont think im at all responsible for this.

i have reasons for leaving Martin out, the main one being that they just..... arent a very active player. Hes soft spoken and doesnt actually like rping their characters- her character in our main campaign is/was literally mute bc they said they didnt want to have to speak as him. (theyve since taken this back and went through with a curse breaking thing to be able to speak, but her character,,, still doesnt talk much.) he writes really good, sad backstories but doesnt actually play or do anything with them and gets uncomfortable acting. Their characters are not only emotional, but like. crazy. they play a bunch of cool tieflings with insane magic classes & features and then, again,,,, dont roleplay them. I didnt want the group to be big and had a good reason for including everyone that i did, and our other friends that arent in it (Virgil, Ray who is Martins sister btw, all our other d&d interested friends at school) literally dont mind at all. i just wrote a campaign that theyre not in. Martin also has their feelings hurt very easily, so to be honest i just find her being sad about not being in it just... stupid. id never say that to his face & i get that he feels bad, but like....cmon.

im aware im a very very incredibly low empathy person- to be honest i struggle with depression and bpd very heavily and am often mean to my friends & loved ones without really processing why or how much it affects them. i told Virgil that i thought Martins reaction was stupid, and he said that that wasnt fair bc Martin had always been in my campaigns before (which is, yknow, one. Martin and I were even in a campaign with a completely different group a while back and Martin willingly left it very early because the group was loud & their character wasnt doing anything (yeah)). Every time Martins expressed (or i guess not expressed) sorrow for not being invited to it ive just sort of ignored them. this again isnt that uncommon cuz when shes sad he doesnt like to talk about it, and also they havent directly confronted me with this at all.

ive been talking about the campaign a lot because it occupies frankly a lot of my brain because i have so much to write, and i especially talk to the people that arent in it bc theres no risk of slipping up and telling them something they arent supposed to know. The other friend, Gabe, is friends with Zeke and Mark and I, and Dan is good around new people,, but Martins really quiet around people he doesnt know well, so if i invited her anyway they'd probably play the game even less than they already do.

again, im really bad at having an actual perspecitve on this. Virgil said he feels bad for Martin but not for himself, as far as i know Dan doesnt know about the situation, and i literally just dont wanna involve Mark and Zeke (Zeke HATES conflict and when people fight so he really doesnt have to be involved.) Mark Martin and I have all been really close friends since literally 7th grade and I guess Martin especially feels left out that I involved Mark and not them but Marks both really good at character creation and also talking in character, and like, hes my best friend who i do everything with.

I dont wanna blow off Martins emotions but but i truly dont give a shit that they feel betrayed by my not inviting him. especially because they havent bothered actually telling me this. objectively i dont think its my fault even a little, and Martin is really horrible at handling their emotions anyway (this isnt an insult, just a fact. i am too). aita for not inviting him + not caring that shes upset by it and acting like they arent?

sorry this is so long i really like providing context

What are these acronyms?

[fatuismooches]

hai smooches.. i cant stop overbrainrotting over two dotty segments lately ..segment who feels the failure pf not being able to cure fragile! reader..and the stern and stoic segment, the one who u wrote as number 4 in ur fic i think?, i cant stop thinking about them 😞

i feel like the failure segment enjoys when u go to his office and sit on the table and he places his hands where ur trapped between them, and he just,, stares at reader.. i feel like a lot of segments do this especially the okder ones but i feel like they do it to fluster reader and flirt w them but not this segment..he just wants to look at u nd only u, then as he keeps lookingn at fragile!reader they place their hands on his cheeks and he flinches bc he was zoning out while admiring them but then his eyes just soften.. hes so precious..

im not sure how segment 4 would interact w fragile!reader but i know reader gets away w a lot of things others would NEVER humor the thiught of doing becayse he just loves u sm do u think hes also a sucker for their attention and affectionate touches?

i was NOT jesting when i said ive been overbraknrotting. my skulls empty by now trying to think of more thoughts abt them.. will u, O’ great ol smooches, spare more brainrots about them pretty pleasw 🤲

(x) AWW I LOVE THIS ANON... You're making me brainrot heavily about those segments as well! Ahh the segment of Dottore feeling an overwhelming sense of failure always makes me... sigh. (If i get more brainrots about this one, I'll probably give him a name haha.) And we can call 04 Delta! (Greek alphabet and all.) (This got WAY longer than I anticipated. Oopsies.)

The segment that feels like he failed you is obviously very attention-starved - at this stage of Dottore's life he neglected to care about anything besides you and his other Fatui duties. Constantly pushing himself inhumanely to obtain even the slightest bit of progress for you. But always ending up with nothing to show. So seeing you awake is very... mhm, I'm not sure the best word but, it's... a lot. As much as he desires your attention (just as every other segment does) he tends to keep his distance since he's not sure to act around you. Dottore himself represses the feeling that he's failing you so he's very much more outward about being all over you, but this segment is entirely open about it and he doesn't know how to act. He looks on from afar and bears witness to your happiness instead. His greatest goal at that stage in his life finally accomplished. (But of course you're not gonna leave this poor bb alone. He gets all the kisses.)

Pretty much no one visits this segment's office, except for the occasional segment and all. He works with no other Fatuis, no, purely by himself because of his very closed-off attitude. Which is why of course when you barge into his office he's naturally caught off guard. He's like... very quiet, uncharacteristically so because like, all the segments would love to talk your ear off but not this one. Either he's quiet or grouchy and snappy to others (not you.) He just watches you as you walk around his lab, responses to your questions rather shortly. It's not that he wants to ignore you this is just... very new for him, considering how long he had to deal with you being motionless.

Until you finally have enough and just plop yourself on his desk, preventing him from doing his work. AHHH the part where you're trapped and he stares at you.... giggles insanely he so does!. Also, you are so right. The other segments do that 100% to tease you, they wanna just kiss you all over and bite and lick while you squirm and blush under them! But this segment, he wants to take in every detail about you. He wants to see how lively you are now, examine every single thing that's different from when you were asleep for so painfully long. He wants to feel how warm you are, how you respond to his movements this time. He wants to hear you simply reassure him that he did everything he could and you're thankful.

Teehee Delta... honestly I wasn't even paying much mind when I dubbed him as the serious segment but!! We're rolling with it! He's one of the segments that literally never smiles. But unlike the others who don't smile either, he's just eternally serious... like at least the Akademiya segment is grumpy and all. You're honestly kind of scared at first because at least the smiles of the others make you feel better... but obviously he is a sucker for your attention hehe, no segment can ever deny this!

You LOVE cracking bad jokes with this segment to see his reaction 😭😭 (there is none besides him staring holes into you) As you said, you can do a lot of silly things and he would just scoff and gently reprimand you, you'll wrap your arms around his head and squish it while lathering him with kisses and he'll just sigh... (the blush is very very faint.) You know that pose where people put their hand against their forehead and lean back in distress? You love doing that with Delta. It's very funny, dramatically falling back into his chest only to be met with 😐

Still, despite his stern and rough tendencies, like all the segments, he's cautious of your health, and will be blunter than others about you pushing yourself or trying to hide your pain. When it comes to your health he tolerates nothing, if it could potentially hurt you. While you're appreciative, you wish he could calm down about that a bit...

[qqueenofhades]

Hey hilary - i really dont want to "borrow grief from the future" as they say but im feeling p lonely abt the supreme court decision looming re trump immunity. It feels like another part of my country is dying, and like the people around me are so fixated on international issues that i can't really talk about it. I dont want to just joke nervously about the impending installation of a dear leader around the water cooler - i want to be able to be as scared and sorrowful as i feel this moment deserves - and i dont want to be here alone. I completely understand if you want to step back from these topics pls feel free to ignore this ask, but would it be crazy to just make a supreme court decision meetup group? I want to really talk about this thing with people who care and understand this topic but i feel far away from an expert. Would it be insane to call the law scholar from the local school to chat?

I will say that yes, I have taken a step back from talking/posting/answering asks about politics because it is already going to be such a long year with so much nonsense to survive, and I am in a state where I need to conserve my spoons about it. This is currently what I need to do for my mental health, and as such, I do understand your need to find someone to talk about things that aren't just The Internet Outrage Du Jour, and which have a very profound impact on the future of the country. Please do what is best for you, reach out to people at the law school or trusted friends, and in my opinion, probably DON'T try to get reassurance from social media around this -- just because social media is hardwired to make you as worried and angry about all things at all times as possible. If what you want and need is conversations in the real world with real people who will bring a real-person perspective to this and not just that of the Terminally Online, by all means -- do so!

This is a tough and uncertain time for all of us, and we all have different ways of coping with it. There is so much going on, we need to find some way to filter or manage or otherwise not go totally crazy, and what that looks like is different for everyone. I may not be answering a ton of (or perhaps any) politics asks for a while, just because I too need to limit my exposure and pace myself for another f'n 8 months of 2024, but I do hope that everyone can do the same and find techniques that work for them. I am wishing you (and all!) the best. <3

[d0llthing]

its time for me to ramble abt siffrin (probably also extends to loop?)'s derealization yaaay

if i were a smarter person id write and upload a 40 minute video essay to youtube called "in stars and time and derealization" about how amazing the game is at writing siffrin's slow perception of their family as "actors" and that it perfectly mirrors the exact process of depersonalization-derealization disorder's effect on someone's (mostly my) mind ESPECIALLY considering how siffrin is a theater kid and it's not uncommon (at least for me) for my derealization "scenarios" to manifest from forms of media i enjoy or some kind of scenario that's been presented by a pre-existing work of fiction. i'd talk about how slowly but surely the game makes you feel just as alone as siffrin and makes you adopt all the mannerisms of thinking he has throughout the game. how yeah, both in real life and in game everyone else starts to feel so unimportant because youre alone in feeling that nothing but you exists. nobody else is real so youre so so alone. id talk about how only specific people dont feel NOT real, but not quite real either. how they ground you but not in a way that fixes much. How they ground you in a way that stops you from going entirely insane but its still hopeless. How there's nothing else in the world but you so why does it matter. What sick kick is the universe getting out of putting you here? Studying you from afar like a lab rat. It's not fair. none of it is fair. you're in a horrible purgatorial nightmare and you cant get out you can never get out. and even when you do get out the healing is going to take so long. you dont know if youll ever fully heal. how long will it take? a year? so much of it will never leave you. is that just a notion youve made up? you have to heal at some point, right? or is that just another thing the universe is making you think to mess with you. but also im not smart enough for that so like

[newwavesylviaplath]

more dumb music opinions!! this is long and ik most of u don't care but whatever this is my platform i will post how i see fit. also im not proofreading this at all its 1:26 in the morning and im literally falling asleep as im writing this so apologies in advance if this isn't the most well written or coherent post ive ever made

okay yall i fell down a rabbit hole of people on tiktok criticizing chappell roan and now im all worked up so here i am giving my opinions no one asked for;

so something i've been noticing a real influx of is people bringing up her hot to go performance at outside lands (a festival) where she says something along the lines of "vip thinks they're way too cool to do this.. you're not fun!" mfs have been getting online to talk about how chappell was being SO RUDE!!! and NOT EVERYONE KNOWS HER MUSIC WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS!!!! but like anyone with common sense who has seen the vid/heard the audio can tell she was being playful?? like come on now. i also saw someone post abt how she was being mean to jimmy fallon?? 😭 first off, while im not sure abt this one in particular late night shows are usually scripted and secondly im starting to believe more and more that these people have just never interacted with a drag queen before. chappell roan is a STAGE PERSONA and the majority of drag queens are characterized by having this larger than life attitude- take for example that one rupaul /jimmy fallon interview (u guys know which one) like idk i feel like it's very obvious that chappell is playing it up for the sake of entertainment, not cuz she genuinely believes she's above everyone else.

the other thing i've seen ppl whining about is how a) she doesn't wanna take a picture with fans, therefore she believes her shit doesn't stink and b) the two tiktoks she posted a day ago where she was voicing her struggles openly without policing her tone. first off, CELEBRITIES DONT OWE U PICTURES. don't get me wrong, taking a picture with a celeb u are a fan of can be a great experience and a fun story- but people are acting as if it is their god given right to get a photo with whoever they want whenever they want. "oh well she brought this on herself it's the price of being famous" are u stupid omfg acting like chappell signed a contract giving up her autonomy in order to get on the billboard charts. she quite literally did not choose this and even if she did that doesn't mean ur automatically entitled to a pic with her as if she's some kind of zoo animal like?? the two vids she posted to tiktok essentially telling ppl to leave her alone was met with backlash because she 'sounded rude' again im going to put this in perspective for everyone. her family is being stalked. she is being harassed both online and in real life. being upset because she comes off a little brash in a video where she is practically begging yall to stop with the harassment should be the least of your concerns. this is a twenty six year old who was virtually unknown six months ago- her meteoric rise to fame was not something she could have been prepped for in anyway possible. i feel like some people just aren't trying to wrap their heads around how insane the reality of this situation really is. the phrase "fifteen minutes of fame" used to be a lot more hyperbolic than it is now. i'm exhausted

[cosmic-nopedog]

Could you possibly share more of your kirakira swap au... it is very inch resting to me!! (also- cute art :D)

THANK YOU, I AM GOING INSANE WITH NO ONE OTHER THAN MY BROTHER TO TALK ABT THIS OH MY GOOOOODDDDDDDD

ok ok so, its a very simple swap au as i've said and im gonna be shooo honest with youo, its ciel x ichika, i like the ship i think they are cute together SO ITS GOING TO HAPPEN, BUT ANYWAYS THIS IS GOING TO BE KINDA LONG

In this au, ichika is a fairy from strawberry mountain, and goes off to paris to learn about sweet making like ciel in the og, however unlike ciel, she goes alone and does learn from jean pierre and gets shot into the lime light, but the thing is that she kinda feels like somethings missing.

yeah she makes a lot of kiraru with her technique alone and her passion for sweets making but it feels a lil.. empty, she is a very lonely girl and at the beginning very clumsy [its still ichika cmon dsfjn vg] so she kinda also has this like BIG imposter syndrome thing going on, she masks it well enough for PR and what not but shes kinda worried that this all is just a big stroke of luck and some day shes going to inevitably fail.

I will say i do have kind of a storyline in mind so bear with me dfkjbnjkdf.

Anyways, she goes on her life in paris as Uzuki Ichika: Prodigy Patissiere [am still making the au so bear with me for there will be changes here n there] and nothing more, UNTIL, she runs into Usami Satomi [aka Ichika's mom in the og storyline] and they talk, and she learns that Satomi is a doctor and lives in strawberry mountain and all that stuff and shes in paris temporarily as part of her job, and i want them SOMEHOW i've yet to really think about all the details to develop a sorta soft ish guardian&kid relationship like, thats not ur kid but might as well be type thing.

ANYWAYS, after enough time [yet to be determined] i feel like ichika starts confiding in Satomi alot of the feelings she has going on and Satomi brings up the idea of taking a break and going back to like her home town, and Ichika does agree and all [BUT I WANT SOME REALISM HERE RIGHT not too much tho we still have fun,] but does bring up the fact that she probably wont have a place to stay if she does so [excuses cus she could very much so stay with the fairies] and CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG but a long time ago i did read something about how if you know like, a family in a country well enough they can like take u in for some time? like Adopt you so tospeak AGAIN I MIGHTVE HALLUCINATED THIS but if not yeah, THATS what happens.

So shes staying with the Usami's! yay! well just the dad cus Satomi does have to travel cus of her job n what not, and goes back to strawberry mountain to hopefully clear her head and maybe remember why she did all of this in the first place.

THATS THAT ON ICHIKA, which im going to be sho honest with you, shes the one i've like thought abt the most, mainly cus i like making the pink cures depressed kdsnbjkfdb BUT ALSO because shes in SUCH a situation and i find that inchresting.

I WILL ALSO SAY, im not swapping everyone, just ciel n ichika, mainly cus i find making ichika a fairy and ciel a cringe fail amateur patissiere very fun and inchresting BUT I DIGRESS.

NOW, AS FOR CIEL, shes a normal girl that has just moved into strawberry mountain, ysee, she is originally from strawberry mountain but moved out at some point in her life and decided to sort of move back in to take care of her grandmother who still recides in there, Rio also came along with her cus I LOVE MY SIBLING DYNAMICS OK.

SPEAKING OF, the way i see their dynamic is that they are very close and yes they stil have their shared interest in sweets and what not but ciel is more of a What happens if I double the amount of batter type interest and Rio is more of a Watches 3 bilion youtube videos on alot of recepies that he sometimes asks ciel if they can try out. Which ofcousre has a very diverse rate of success kdjfhbjbk.

They have the Passion and all the Feelings into it but Not alot of technical skill, I do think they meet Pekorin the same way Ichika met Pekorin in the og story, AND I DO WANT TO MAKE RIO A CURE, HE WILL BE A CURE I WILL MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

OH speaking of, i did kinda change Ichikas and Ciel's cure names, Ichika is now Cure Meringue and Ciel is now Cure Velvet.

AND THATS PRETTY MUCH WHAT I HAVE LIEK SOLIDIFIED AS OF RN!!!

I do have some liek spare thoughts here and there like, Ichika and Pekorin Have a sybling dynamic slash are actual sisters and at somepoint i want ichika to get stained in shadow maybe same with Rio but i have yet to figure out a cohesive storyline for that, BUT I WILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTT!!!

Also do NOT spoil me shit, I have NOT finished Kirakira Precure as of rn, IM CLOSE BUT NOT THERE YET.

LAST THING: i will call this AU very simply Strawberry Meringue Au

That is all.

[zurka-durka]

not sure if ive ever sent an ask abt this but would u happen to have any kingsai hcs to spare? 👉👈

I DO THANK YOU FOR ASKING though none of these r uncommon or particularly shocking but still

-King calls Saitama 'Tama-shi. Im not a big fan of Saitama being nicknamed. Like "Sai" makes me squint every time but 'Tama-shi???🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️speak your truth King.

-I believe King's been searching for Saitama after their first encounter. Watching news and reading articles about more "niche" heroes etc. To say he felt sick after realizing that throughout all those years it really was just Saitama on his own defeating monsters around him s like saying nothing lmao.

-20 words or less doesn't really work between them. King never talks over/at Saitama rather he tries to have a real conversation. Saitama spaces out around him only when there's something on his mind.

-Genos is chill around King. He trusts Saitama's judgment (like when he immediately dropped the chase after saitama told him that amai's cool in the webcomic) but he does not know about the "stolen achievements". i cant sugarcoat this-there's no way in hell Genos would take that information lightly and even Saitama knows that. some lies they have to live with.

even if Genos separates in the future or grows cold and distant, the respect he has for Saiatama won't ever wither entirely anyway and King would rather bite his tongue than get on Genos' bad side.

-King has insane daydreams about Saitama in his suit and stuff im sorry. He jokes about how cartoonish his costume looks but he's all eyes.

-Saitama's gonna be around if King ever tries to get physically stronger. "Just lift dude" just to end up as his personal trainer lmao. Saitama'd try to teach King how to breathe properly, hand on his chest and everything, telling him "you're okay" when he gets hurt or if it's too much on King and that just makes King fall deeper.

-Saitama is the type to say im not in the mood and when being hit with "that's okay! next time i guess" he switches immediately because he values that respect just so much. There's no one but King in Saitama's life who considers his comfort in such a way. The only thing he holds to Saitama's face are his morals and actions, which is good cause Saitama can be easily very ignorant at times.

Not a headcanon but the main factor to me and why i love them sm: Saitama is very kind in a way that is just natural, not something that comes with effort, it's just how he is and King cries several times because of that alone. It's the "are you okay?" that brings such comfort to him that he bawled his eyes out, or when they are alone together King can actually let it go and spill things out and sob without feeling uncomfortable. And trust! The absolute trust that King has in Saitama, especially during the MA arc or the elder centipede. Because, unlike Genos for example, King is very much familiar and aware of Saitama flaws yet he never doubts him. So he puts himself in dangerous position, consciously choosing to sacrifice himself because a person like Saitama would do that. And he'd rather be scared but do it scared anyway than betray that concept is soooo to me

They bring out the best in each other fr

[sugar-omi]

Kinda a request but also not: I would like to see jealous/possesive!MC bc I've been somewhat lurking in the tags, and I haven't seen any of it besides one person scraping an idea of both Cove and the MC being yanderes for each other. Like I'm insane about Cove, ik I'm not alone 😭.

It would be super interesting to see how a jealous/possessive!MC responds to Baxter during the step 3 prologue when he hits on Cove. 🤭

i can ramble abt this forever n ill prbly end making a part 2 to this lol pls even a few of my first post have a lotta jealous/possessive reader w a light yandere theme since im not completely in the scene but the possessiveness makes my brain churn LOL <333

tags : Suggestive, step 3, slight yandere theme, jealous/possessive reader

synopsis : you might be a bit too possessive with cove. but if he loves it and it sets the record straight, what's the problem?

when baxter starts making subtle flirtatious comments to cove, it makes your head spin

of course you know your boyfriend is attractive!

you've seen the way tourists look at him, and when you were still in school, you heard and saw the way other students ogled and giggled to each other about how cute cove is.

unfortunately, you can't just put a collar on him with your name on it. although a small part of you thinks cove might like it.

so even after baxter gets the idea that you're both taken. (not that it needed to be said with the glare on your face and the way you straighten up, pulling cove into you)

you still go to some lengths to make sure he remembers that

instead of just holding his hand, you'll pull him into your lap of you can, wrapping your arms around him and kissing his shoulder/neck occasionally

and if you're in cove's car after a dinner date, and baxter just happens to walk out of his condo where he can see you stretched over the middle console, tangling your fingers in cove's hair and kissing within an inch of your lives...

well that's just a coincidence <3

and if you're coming back from a trip at the beach that was getting much too steamy with your hand dipping under the leg of cove's swim shorts, and run into baxter on the way back

you won't easily admit that it brings you too much happiness to see cove fidgeting, itching to get away so he can be alone with you, and how baxter's eyes widen a bit at the blooming marks on cove's skin

if you can put the grudge aside enough to hang out with baxter during the "sightseeing" moment, then of course the topic of dating and crushes comes up

baxter smiles when you say that cove has only ever been with you, and vice versa.

of course you note the melancholy look on his face, and you feel like he's being sarcastic. or at least half-hearted in his well wishes

maybe the look on your face is a bit too much on the sour side, but you don't worry about that. "cove and i will certainly spend the rest of our lives together. our souls are intertwined after all."

your smile is a bit sickly sweet, but you move on anyway

I wanna talk a bit abt cove though...

yk how in step 2, if you punch/scare/cuss at jeremy, cove admits that he likes it?

I think he knows and sees how jealous, how possessive you are and feeds into it sometimes

it makes his heart beat (and even turns him on) that you're claiming him in any way

he sees how you pull him into your lap, or how you hold onto his arm, or how you kiss him even more when in front of baxter

he knows that when you ran into baxter, you find too much pleasure in how he squirms. and when you finally get back to his room for a little privacy, you're almost feral with how you touch and kiss him

he sees the way you leer and smirk when baxter walks by you two, and cove flushes because even though he's embarrassed bc baxter definitely saw you making out, he's also a bit... excited by it

it doesn't make sense, and it embarrasses him more just thinking abt it, but it just makes him feel so warm and tingly when you act like this that it overrides his shame <33