#because a bunch of things seem easy or straightforward for other people.

[musical-chick-13]

The thing is, that sometimes people will avoid or exclude or outright disparage you because you're "embarrassing," and you'll never know what it is that you did. Or how to not be like that.

[beneathsilverstars]

@seifrin replied:

the party's board game preferences?

really funny of you to ask this bc that's actually one of the very first things i posted about when i was just getting into isat fandom!! but it was kind of all over the place and i know the characters better now, so here's a tidy list :3

Siffrin

Siffrin likes games that are casual and easy to pick up, and don't require a ton of strategizing. Their favorite game is Set, which is a card game where you race to be the first to find sets of matching or unmatching cards in a spread.

It's about speed and (flat) observational skills, so he's pretty good at it! He also likes silly party games that are less about winning and more about being funny or working together, like Quiplash or Charades.

Mirabelle

Mirabelle thinks it's fun to get dramatically competitive, and doesn't mind playing for a couple hours straight. Her favorite game is Bunny Kingdom, which is a territory-claiming game, but with cards that provide a lot of different ways to get points.

The artwork is cute, and it's surprisingly easy to learn despite its complexity because many of the cards say what they do. She would have fun foiling other players' plans and seeing the dramatic twists in the final points reveal! She also loves games that are about interpersonal drama, like Shadow Hunters or Mafia, and she's down to try most games because she cares less about the game and more about having a nice time with her friends.

Isabeau

Isabeau likes games that are complicated and highly variable. His favorite game is Dominion, which is a deck-building game with tons of expansions that introduce unique mechanics, so you can mix and match cards to get a different experience each time you play.

Even after he's decided to stop hiding his nerdiness, he's reluctant to actually put his all into winning lest his friends get frustrated, so he's more likely to decide on strategies that seem the most fun rather than the most effective. He also likes games where you have to read/predict your opponent, like Poker or Shadow Hunters, and games that take hours to learn and more hours to play, like Terraforming Mars. (Don't ask me about that game I refuse to learn how to play it.)

Odile

Odile can do complex strategy, but rather than memorizing a bunch of rules she prefers games that are easy to play, hard to master. Her favorite game is Azul, which involves collecting the right amount of the right color tiles to fill up your board in the right order.

It's fairly short and straightforward, but still with plenty of decisions to make as you adapt your strategy depending on what tiles are available. She also likes classic puzzle-y games like Scrabble or Jenga or Mancala. And she complains about Isabeau's long complex games, but when she gets into them she gets really into them, and can give Isabeau a run for his money.

Bonnie

Bonnie likes epic excitement! Their favorite game is Shadow Hunters, where players are secretly assigned the role of Shadow, Hunter, or Neutral, and have to figure out who to attack or defend as they work towards their unique win conditions.

Bonnie's not actually particularly good at it, but the random teams and random dice/cards level the playing field a bit, and even when they lose track of who's on whose team, it's fun to attack random people and it's fun to lose dramatically! They also enjoy card games, like Egyptian War / Slap or Mao, and rambunctious games, like... Egyptian War / Slap or Mao.

Everyone Together!

The whole group loves a good bit, so of course they're on that party game shit: all sorts of Jackbox, Cards Against Humanity with curated/custom cards, that game where one person writes a sentence then the next person draws it and then the next person looks at just the drawing and describes that, etc.

Everyone will play Dominion with Isabeau, but Bonnie and Siffrin will only play if there's not any expansion packs in use (or at least not any weird expansion mechanics). Bonnie likes using attack cards, Siffrin likes building huge eclectic decks, Odile likes building small streamlined decks, Mirabelle likes playing several games in a row with the same set of cards so she can try different strategies, and Isabeau likes using strange cards and unique strategies.

Everyone enjoys Mao (though Odile claims she doesn't). I'm breaking the rules by explaining this to you, but it's a card game played with multiple decks, with a similar structure to Uno except with some bonus rules, plus whenever someone wins a round they get to make up a new rule, and if you break a rule you draw a card. Rules like no asking questions, no playing even cards on even cards, meow every time you play a diamond, etc. Generally Bonnie and Mirabelle make rules that affect behavior rather than gameplay, Odile makes complicated rules that make it harder to play, Siffrin makes simple rules that make it easier to play, and Isabeau makes rules that balance out the mechanics currently in use. Everyone loves making Odile say weird things, and sometimes she pulls out a super ridiculous rule herself. Siffrin is the worst at remembering all the rules, but he doesn't care that much because struggling to remember the rules isn't an obstacle, it's the whole point of the game.

Shadow Hunters has something for everyone, and it's convenient that 5 players is a neat 2 Shadow 2 Hunter 1 Neutral split. Bonnie is more likely to attack at random if they don't know who anyone is, to keep things exciting, and Siffrin is more likely to not attack at all, because they don't want to accidentally hurt an ally. He gets a little stressed out by the drama sometimes, but it helps that he's playing a specific character. Isabeau's the best at the game, except he and Mirabelle both get really into dramatically holding grudges and such, so Odile's practicality and perception make her actually the best at it.

Siffrin likes playing Azul with Odile because it's very visual and straightforward, the two of them could sit there quietly playing five rounds in a row. Odile and Bonnie play Mancala together, and Bonnie Isabeau and Siffrin play Egyptian War. Everyone's willing to play Set with Siffrin; Mirabelle is the next best at it. Isabeau enjoys Bunny Kingdom the most after Mirabelle, but everyone will play it — but Bonnie gets bored halfway through and it's four player anyway, so they'll often team up with Siffrin. Isabeau never gets to play Terraforming Mars because it's one of the only games Mirabelle won't give a second try, and while Odile doesn't hate it she'd rather play a weird Dominion expansion.

[shroomiewrites]

If your love burns, dear, set me ablaze || Simon Riley x Reader

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader || 2.5k words || SFW ||

Warnings/tags: Gender neutral reader, hurt/comfort, mentions of animal gore, non-canon backstory, fluff, sprinkle of angst.

Song recommendation: Indigo Night | Tamino

Synopsis: “They asked "do you love her to death?” I said “speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me to life.” | Mahmoud Darwish

It took Simon Riley 17 days to touch you. 

Not touch in an intimate, sexual way. Touch as in a graze, a brush of the fingertips. Touch as in an even accidental bump or gentle meet of shoulder blades when you sit too close to someone in the train. Touch as in the way his knuckles feathered your hand when he handed you your drink on a night out with friends a few weeks and meetings of your friendly circle after you first met.

It had been surprising to you how a man like him even had any friends in the first place and even more that said friends also happened to be friends of yours, but Manchester could be small and funny like that, you thought. He made a strong first impression on you, never introduced himself, in fact, he almost never talked, not loud enough at least. Not in the way that people who want to be heard spoke, it was always a rather fatigued mutter, voice brittled and seemingly unbothered and unamused by everything around him. His eyes always felt sharp and alert but also… never there. He existed in a plane of his own, haunting conversations and people he didn’t seem to enjoy, like a ghost.

Ghost.

That’s what they called him, he told you one of the first few times you tried some small talk, embarrassment flooded your cheeks as you laughed before realizing that. Oh God. He's not joking. He didn’t seem affected by it, but then again, he never seemed affected by anything at all. Not the way your friends always talked a bit too much, laughed a little too loud, got a tad too drunk and touched him way too much. He never complained tho, no one could even tell he was bothered by it unless they noticed the slight twitch of his eyes in annoyance as they slapped his shoulder, howling at something he didn’t find remotely funny. You found yourself amused by watching him, like experiencing first hand a cat in the middle of a bunch of golden retrievers. He seemed to notice the way you stared at him for a little too long for it to be just a coincidence. But he never said anything, amused by it too.

Simon, he said his name was one time. You realized how no one ever spoke his name. You thought maybe it pissed him off, but no, not many things pissed him off. He was a surprisingly easy person to be around, not easily ticked off by the stupid jokes or the chaotic antics of your fellow companions. He was a bit skittish and straightforward when he did speak, an acid tint to his sarcastic jokes and monotone timbre. It was actually charming. To your own twisted mind at least. He was also a great listener, another charm of his you noted. He heard you talk for minutes to hours on end, without ever making you feel like you were rambling too much or boring him to death, eyes focused on yours throughout the entirety of whatever gossip or story you felt like he should hear. He secretly enjoyed it a bit too much. Looking forward to your next encounters so he could hear a follow up of something stupid that was happening to someone’s cousin, just to hear your dramatic pauses and mocking interpretations of someone’s voice. He made sure to keep tabs on the names and events, because you always started with a ‘Do you remember-” and he relished the little gleam in your eyes when he repeated back what you told him when you last saw each other with astounding accuracy. 

On the good days, he’d gift you a story of his own. A little tale of his time in the military, sometimes about an operation or mission that he got assigned. Never too many details, just the gist and a little highlight, and you didn’t pry, feeling grateful enough that he felt comfortable to share anything at all. That, and the mysterious aura of his person actually suited the if-I-told-you-I’d-have-to-kill-you way he shared his own experiences with you. You collected them like pieces of the puzzle that made up Simon Riley, celebrating mentally when two distinct strands of information he gave you allowed you to pierce together a slightly fuller picture of who he was, what he liked and what he didn’t. 

He started going back to Manchester often after you two met. He didn’t have much else to go, frankly. His job was his life and when he wasn’t deployed, he felt quite lost in his own head, like it was unknown terrain that he didn’t have coordinates for or a clear strategy. His social life was an even bigger mess, a battlefield is easier to navigate than everyday life. When he was on duty people were blue or red, with him or against. But things got confusing once he didn’t wear a vest anymore and suddenly they were yellow, green, purple… The easy way out? Never strive for more than company. It’s what his body needed, the bare minimum of human connection required for the average person to somewhat function. At least that’s what he told himself. 

His friends – your friends – were people he could tolerate being around and that on rare occasions got a chuckle out of him. But they didn’t mind the mask or that he pretty much only spoke when spoken to. People tend to be a lot easier on those who underperform to their standards, not trying to steal away their spotlight. So he made a social life out of it, walking the noisy streets of his city and drinking bourbon in whatever bar the people he hung out with dragged him into. 

Until you.

You see, when Simon was a kid he found a cat once. Bone thin and wounded. It took a liking to him, to his bruised little hands and puppy eyes that watched the things around him curious and woefully. He found a semblance of comfort in petting the cat, letting it sit on his lap as it purred gently, basking in his warmth. He fed it for a while, gave it food and water as much as he could, given his own difficult circumstances. He watched it regain its strength ever-so-slightly, but even then, he never took it in. Never considered it a friend. Never even gave it a name. It was just a stray cat and he had time and patience, despite the world constantly giving him reasons not to have. Some time later he noticed the food and water were left untouched. Insects crawled on the makeshift bowl he had made out of discarded paper plates and empty tins. He didn’t go after it. Wasn’t his, never was. A few days later he found it on the street near the curb, mashed into the concrete, thick marks of wheels on top of it’s small body, crushed it to death, probably. A weird pang in his chest made him stumble back, the foul smell of rotting flesh filling his nostrils and no matter how long he washed his face after it never left his nose completely, constantly mocking him with the inevitable fate of every living being in existence had to face – the putrid reality of death. The sight before him that day ingrained itself into his young brain, creating roots around his mind and making sure he never forgot it. He couldn’t understand why it hurt that much, why things had to be that way and if he could have done things differently.

It was only years later, after a lot more experience and pain in his life that he finally understood the lesson he was taught that day. That you never start something you’re not ready to finish. He lived by that, built his career on it, his reputation. An operation with his name on it meant an operation carried out, clean, no loose ends. He guaranteed it. The mantra was easy to apply, easy to repeat, gave him comfort and helped him pick his battles right. Never bite more than he could chew, keep his feet on the ground. He repeated it everyday and it helped him improve, strive for more. Not that he was a perfectionist, no. He saw himself as more of a… highly dedicated individual. Committed to the results and the results alone.

He knew something was wrong with him when his mind wandered off to you in the middle of a briefing, or when he laid down in base, staring at the ceiling of his room. He thought about what you were probably doing, if you had any more stories to tell him. He found himself anxious to tell you stories. As he snipped down enemies and dropped down to knife others, a fleeting thought of “I have to tell her about this” made him stop dead in his tracks and physically shake off the alarm sirens that rang in his mind. Everything about you made his brain scream danger. Made him want to run away and close off. And yet, he found himself going back to Manchester, to you. Every. Single. Time.

When his gaze darted down to your reddish lips as you laughed at something he said, while he walked you home after a night out with your friends, and his hands softly brushed a strand of your hair out of your face, breath hitching as you melted into his touch, pressing your cheek further into his palm as you looked at him, fuck, so yearningly he nearly passed out, when you raised your small hands to his cheeks, a surgical black mask covering the bottom half of his face, and you batted your eyelashes at him in permission and he didn’t stop you as you pulled it to his nose and brought his lips to him in a kiss so tender and careful he felt sinless for a moment, that’s when he knew he was beyond the point of no return. 

You attached yourself to his life so seamlessly, so readily, he nearly missed it. He felt like you had always been there. In the early mornings when he woke up from nightmares or plagued by insomnia and he just watched you sleep soundly next to him, not a single wrinkle on your heavenly face as your dreams probably never ended up with you dead. In the afternoon when you danced around the house in only one of his t-shirts, practically a dress to you, and sang loudly, a big smile on your face when you noticed him watching you lovingly from the doorframe, pulling him to your living room as you urged him to join you, laughing at how he pretended to be annoyed at your antics, but he could barely hide the grin that filled his expression whenever you giggled around him, the sound being enough to wash away any worry out of his system and put him at ease. Simon felt his heart burst in euphoria whenever you as much as glanced at him, each touch lighting a fire in him that made him believe in a God just so he could pray for more of you. 

When Simon told you about the cat you cried. Sobbed into his shoulder until you felt dizzy. Not because of the cat itself, although that got into your feelings, but because he’d made a lesson out of it. Punished himself so deeply about something out of his control, had convinced himself so hard that it was his fault, couldn’t stand the guilt that ate him away from losing something that was precious to him when he was far too young to understand what it meant. It physically made your heart ache. The way he shaped his life around it, building walls upon walls until nothing could get in and he couldn’t get out, because it’s easy to avoid the fear of loss when you make it so you don’t have anything to lose. But he failed to realize that it also meant nothing to live for. How he made his life’s purpose to never fail again, beating himself up everytime it inevitably happened. 

His motto hadn't come from a place of efficiency, of a duty well carried. It came from hurt. From the desperation of having so much love to give and nothing to put it into. But he didn’t realize it. Not until you showed him. Not until he saw how you wore your heart on your sleeve, how you poured yourself into every single thing that you did. How everytime you kissed him you had starstruck eyes and a light scarlet tint to your cheeks. How when you made toast you took the time to rotate the pieces of bread slightly in the toaster so the grill marks would make a checkered pattern, simply because it brought you joy. How you always chose to buy the mugs that were chipped or slightly broken, because you said you’d be upset if no one wanted you just because you were slightly imperfect.

God, how far off were you.

To Simon you were perfect. From the tip of your toes to the last strand of hair on your head, to the brightest of your smiles and ugliest of cries when you had to bid him goodbye for another few months. He thought of you every single day, every second possible. He knew that if he lost you, it’d crush him. Irreparably so. Would tear him into pieces until he was just a shell of a man. And yet, he stayed. Dug his grave deeper with every kiss, every hug, every intimate moment you shared together as he felt you clench around him and could swear that he was in paradise. Because it was worth it. He learned that his previous mantra was slightly off, and fixed it into a new one. 

You don’t start things you wouldn’t risk yourself for. 

So he went out and did his job, because protecting people, his teammates, was worth the risk. And he went back to you, tired and sore, but he let you jump on him and squeeze him tightly, let you remove his mask with your delicate fingers, a sigh of relief escaping your lips every time before you got on your tippy toes to press your mouth into his. And he reveled in it. He let you see his face, his body, his soul. He let you see everything of him, the good and the bad. Ask whatever you want to know, take everything from him. He’d rip his heart right out his chest if you begged him once. Because he loved you. Painstakingly, deeply, with enough force to move mountains and start wars, and enough care to sweep the debris and tend to the wounded. Because, by God, loving you was worth the risk. 

For your anniversary you got him a cat. It was the first time you saw him weep. Truly weep. Tears staining his face as his bloodshot eyes rained down on to the carpet, broken whimpers falling from his trembling lips as he sunk to the ground in front of the brightly colored open box. You thought he didn’t want it, that maybe it was too much, too soon. But he assured you it was okay. That it was worth the risk. 

He named her after you.

A/N: This story has been stuck in my head for a few days now, as I often find myself lost in my thoughts, imagining how a man like Simon might love. Frankly, I like to think it'd be like this. Too deeply for his own good, but, personally, I think that's the best way.

Constructive criticism and feedback are always more than welcome! I hope you enjoyed reading~

[ac-liveblogs]

i have not played natlan act 3-4 so uhhhh i wonder how natlan's middle act stacks up to other middle act archon quests (i.e. sumeru and fontaine) in your opinion? my twitter timeline hypes the fuck out of act 3-4 but i really can't trust fandom atp ...

Heya!

Tbh, every time I see someone hyping the fuck out of Genshin, especially Fontaine, I really do just… LMAO, bc the Fortress of Meropide was a chore and Sumeru's middle act was absolutely blatant filler. I think Natlan is better than both, but like, that's because those were bad, not because Natlan is good.

I think the best way to describe the Acts3-4 of Natlan is "straightforward, but boring". Act 3 mostly consists of trying to find Ororon and figure out why he's with the Fatui - that translates into Genshin's traditional "walk a short distance to the glowing light" type gameplay and I think one generic mob fight? Act 4 is... lots and lots of mob fights.

I think Act 3 is the best showing in Natlan - it does an okay job establishing Citlali and Ororon's characters and dynamic and why Ororon is working with the Fatui, but it resolves so quickly and uneventfully I really struggle to care about it. But at the end of it, the emotional payoff for this act is Ororon getting a sudden cutscene that gives emotional closure to the character arc Citlali described to us maybe 20 minutes before. "This is Ororon's tragic backstory" > "instant, easy resolution via relatively chill monologue". I mean, it wasted less time than Furina's, but it's clearly Mavuika they really want us to care about here. She's already had 2 extended playable segments about her past, Act 5 is gonna suuuuck

There's no actual combat or more than a couple of seconds of peril or anything, it's all totally cutscene based. Injecting combat into this sort of thing usually helps raise the stakes, but it's totally absent here… we don't even get to fight Capitano. His plan gets interrupted by Ororon having his Moment and then he just gives up, which is really cool payoff for the guy that's been hyped as the strongest member of the Fatui Harbingers.

An anon described Ororon as a more competent Scaramouche-Irminsul, and while I think Ororon's character works better and it fits the story here more than in Sumeru, at least with Scaramouche he…. god I can't believe I'm saying this, but at least Scaramouche actually… did something… stuff happened that we had to deal with as opposed to stuff ALMOST happening… thhat sucked too, but like… it's… stuff?

I think HYV sometimes forgets how videogames work…? Using combat to convey tone really helps... whatever...

Act 4 was pretty tedious. I know a lot of people got emotional about the war arc, but I've seen it done better elsewhere and I really wasn't impressed. That mostly manifests as bouncing between a bunch of generic mob fights for about 30 minutes, again with no boss. Throwing generic mobs at you in very standard numbers does nothing to enforce any kind of threat, and it exhausted me.

However, it is still better than bumming around the Fortress of Meropide, which I absolutely hated - especially Fontaine Act 3, which was a completely irrelevant timewaster. Natlan's Act 3 and 4 seem to be leading into Natlan's endgame a lot better than Sumeru and Fontaine's did (I think you could excise almost everything from Sumeru and Fontaine Acts 3-4 and end up at Act 5 just fine tbh), and it did feel like there's a bit less yapping than usual...?

There's an effort to show you that "war... war is hell..." with a bunch of dead NPCs, but I don't care about nameless NPCs. Chasca and her sister had very little time put towards getting the audience to care about them (Chasca has some of the least focus out of all the Natlan characters), and she realises she's a hero when her sister dies and goes berserk off-screen, so that didn't work for me.

Also, I cannot get over reaching the end of things, being told BIG ENEMIES COMING, thinking "oh good maybe they'll reuse one of the mat bosses at the very least" and getting confronted with a couple ruin guards.

(Tbh, I think Citlali dying and Ororon reacting to that would've worked better given they spent the ENTIRE PREVIOUS ACT ON THOSE TWO. Or like, Kinich and Ajaw's thing? god. Why put in the thing about Ajaw getting Kinich's body if Kinich dies if you weren't gonna- never mind. It's fine. never mind)

The 6 heroes were underutilised as expected, and it seems like their role concluded this patch. So. Eh.

Overall - I did not get so bored I can barely remember what happened (Sumeru) OR want to bash my head against a wall at any point (Fontaine), but I did get pretty annoyed during Act 4 but overall feel pretty "well that was whatever" about it, so. Natlan 4/10.

[bubacorn]

What if I asked you for your nd vessels hc's?

This is a photo of my brain worm, btw♡

Oh, gods, they are so scattered in my brain and I feel like I forgot most of them, but here's a few that come to mind right now:

rsd hits Vessel and III hard. Vessel shuts down and stops talking, and can take the wrong wording and tone really seriously, so it can happen that the others just worded something wrong when they weren't paying that much attention and Vessel thinks that he did something wrong. III sometimes feels that he is a bother and tries pulling away, then feels guilty for doing that and needs a lot of reassurance that he's not too much

my autistic!Vessel hc is that he can cook, but likes baking more. if he does cook, he needs straightforward instructions and when the others start throwing around 'pinch'es and 'some's, he quickly gives up and leaves it to them. maybe he gets a little sensitive about it and lets them cook most of the time, so they can season to their taste, but they try to transcribe their recipes so he can follow written measurements

at one point I was like: I bet Vessel has really bad misophonia, then I remembered Vore, so that hc is standing on a shaky foundation

plushies!!! the manor is a plushie household. I would say all of them have their own favorites that they squish/hug when watching TV or rub when in need of stimulation/soothing

II needs his spaces organized, otherwise he can't think. he's prone to taking on too much and getting intense anxiety/panic attacks from task-overwhelm and the others constantly have to gently remind him to take it easy

III has a bunch of fidget toys and rings he spins on his fingers (definitely not borrowed from Vessel. he also plays with the ones on Vessel's fingers, too, if they sit together)

Vessel is really good at pattern-recognition, and loves symmetry in most things. tapping fingers has to be to a certain rhythm and it has to be repeated an exact number of times or else it's off

III gets attached to objects, mostly things he found (cool stones and stuff) and gifts from the others

II taps his foot and plays an imaginary double bass sometimes

IV loves to-do lists and having tasks organized. it keeps his anxiety at bay, because it minimizes the chance that he forgot something

Vessel and IV like shopping the least out of the four. Vessel gets overwhelmed by choices and people, and feels anxious about lingering in the store, because he feels that he's in the way/looks weird. IV wears noise-cancelling headphones most times and gives Ves the shopping list so he can focus on that and they can get it done quickly. also they all encourage each other to get little treats and buy food if they get hungry, so no one is grouchy on the way home/if they still have to cook

also, shopping trip panic attacks mean at least one person goes to the car with the one panicking, and the others finish. if it's the two of them, they abandon shopping to make sure the other is okay. comfort and safety first. shopping can wait. there's no snapping/being annoyed about having to go back some other time

this became a bit rambly, sorry about that. I don't really hc specific conditions/disorders, rather symptoms, I guess and it seems most of the time I let my brain sneak in stuff unconsciously into my writing that I realize while editing/rereading and go 'wait a minute'

what if we kissed. and we were both worms on strings. *smooches you for this ask* 💖

[certifiedwerewolf]

[id text in alt]

I am having thoughts about this bit of writing from the earliest days of DTLS

Because if you know James, and you know me and how I write him, it's really easy to assume that this is James self-flagellating and laying more blame at his own feet than is deserved. And the writing for the next several volumes supports that! James repeatedly takes on more blame than anyone else for things that he only has some or even no blame in and twists himself up that he's not doing more than he already is, and we also have repeated instances of people Jacques has poisoned realizing that Jacques has lied to them about who James is.

And then volume 6 happens, and a bunch of people get de-aged, and James is eleven and speaks so cruelly about his brother, and we realize that, oh, yeah, he wasn't self-flagellating. He was telling the truth. He WAS cruel to his brother. He DID treat him so badly. He IS in part responsible for Jacques growing up to be so bitter.

And it's something that I really love because it complicates what seemed a really straightforward narrative, about James being the Nice Ironwoof Brother and Jacques being the Mean Ironwoof Brother because James might be nice NOW but when Jacques was growing up, James was one of his worst tormentors. It's so much less straightforward than the narrative primes you to think of it as, and also sheds new light on some of James's OTHER claims about who he was before he began bucking off his father's grooming: he says he was a real piece of shit back then, and if he was telling the truth about how he treated Jacques, well--

--I'm just saying, we've also been told he used to mouth off at service staff, too, before Glynda yelled at him about it.

[ardentlurker]

my current japanese study routine

wanikani

paid subscription website that uses spaced repetition to teach you kanji & vocab, though i haven’t gotten to the paid part of it yet. reaching it pretty soon, though.

it’s pretty structured and straightforward—learn the radicals -> kanji -> vocab from the kanji then perfect it with SRS, but also pretty inflexible (can’t choose what you want to learn; if you typo on typing out a reading of a word, congrats you’re wrong) though that structured expect makes it easy for me to keep it up as a routine. can be overwhelming when you can get hit with 100+ reviews after waking up or after finding some free spot in a day….

also, can’t really do it on a commute because my data on underground trains is spotty i guess.

you’re kind of learning vocabulary & kanji in isolation, but i think the main help is taking the stuff you learned and recognising it out in the wild.

also it’s a subscription service. people have made anki decks that replicate the levels of wanikani. there’s probably other free alternatives you can consider for vocab & kanji, i guess. anki just doesn’t really stick with me, though.

anime watching

from https://learnjapanese.moe/routine/ 30 day guide where it basically recommends you watch anime with english subtitles then rewatch the episode with no subtitles. my japanese level is too weak to watch stuff with no subtitles (at most i can pick out words i guess)

honestly not that sure what effect it has has on my japanese so far. need to continue more with this—i haven’t been that consistent with the past too, because i can stop anime in the middle of watching due to getting too much 2nd hand embarrassment from characters’ actions or something.

but i guess my hobby of anime watchjng in the past also has led me to pick up some random vocab, (thanks gundam for 地球; earth, 連邦; federation….) and it’s probably good listening practice? dunno, will probably need to continue longer with this….

in-person japanese classes

uh, unfortunately this costs money. a lot more money. like, probably in the thousands in total if you eventually take to the N1.

i’m currently taking 5 days a week, 3h a day intensive classes until i start school, and will finish the N5 curriculum in 8 weeks (10 weeks in total). then i have to yeet myself off to school and will probably consider switching to twice a week classes.

makes you master stuff. i also tried to self-study ~2 weeks before attending classes, and i realised although my grammar knowledge is pretty ahead, i had a bunch of holes in vocab and writing in general. had to do a lot of number related drills (read fake made-up phone numbers but in japanese, read costs of objects, read off time off clocks, e.g.) and man when i was doing self-study i just sorta wrote down the numbers and just went “cool” and went on. oops. taught me that i probably should learn the counters in general and actually master them…

i’m tempted to resume self-studying after completing the N5 curriculum though, since i know i’ll be able to put more time in > class time. though i’ll probably need to buy a textbook this time. though the other thing is that i heard most textbooks are meant to be taught with a teacher and doesn’t go in-depth about explanations. not too sure. will have to see. i’m also not the one paying for my japanese classes (because uh. privilege) so that’ll also be something i gotta discuss

we are currently using minna no nihongo as a textbook, by the way. seems like they follow the chapters but teach the stuff in the textbook in class through stuff like flashcards and speaking drills and then later use the questions in the textbook as homework/practice.

also just learning the polite form of japanese (-desu, -masu). makes sense, and i guess i don’t really have a reason to use the informal forms at all, really. though i’d like to hang out on japanese internet communities and livestreams one day, i guess.

[parttimedragonslayer]

10k training updates. I haven't been great at putting the updates here, but I have been keeping a diary, even if I might not write the entry til a day or two later.

Day 9 (Day 11) - Completed 10 November 2023

I swapped today’s cross training and tomorrow’s rest day because I’m going hiking tomorrow. So today was rest day.

Day 10 (Day 12) - Completed 11 November 2023

Cross training today (swapped with yesterday’s rest day). Some girls I met from Okayama University took me to visit Smile Rock, one of the local sites. I wasn’t sure what to expect as it was called a hike, but it also seems pretty accessible. I prepared for a serious hike so I was a little disappointed when it was just a bit of a walk around for about 40 mins. I suppose that technically meets the needs of my cross training, but I do feel like a little bit of a slacker. All that said, the actual sightseeing part of the trip was amazing. Great views, a cool rock, a bunch of cats and I even hung out with people and managed to be somewhat social and not entirely awkward the whole time. 

Day 11 (Day 13) - Completed 12 November 2023

This was the first run that was starting to get close to the types of runs I was doing before. 2 mins on 1 min off. The run felt pretty easy and I ran for about an extra 5 mins at the end. I found a loop that I can run that makes a 5.5km circuit. So PR for distance today too! Part of the route I took today is the actual 10k race course. I want to scout the entire course on my bike soon. I know vaguely where it goes, but I want to follow the actual path as much as possible while training to get used to any hills. 

Day 12 (Day 14) - Completed 13 November 2023

Cross training today and I went to the gym for a weights session. It’s been almost 2 weeks since I last did weights as I’ve had other things to do for cross training. I did 10 mins on the treadmill for warm up, deadlifts and the push press machine. I started on some lunges but was saved from having to finish them by Steve finishing up his workout at that point. I hate lunges. It’s been almost three weeks since I’ve done deads so I think I’m going to feel it tomorrow. 

Day 13 (Day 15) - Completed 14 November 2023

Really pushed myself to run in the morning before work today because I don’t like taking away from evening hang-out-with-the-husband time to run. Also I have four classes today so there’s a good chance I’ll just be too tired or have a headache at the end of the day and chances of bailing are high. 

So I did the morning run. It was very cold. 5 degrees. It wasn’t too bad though once I got going, which is promising. I’ve been a little worried about running in full winter. The run itself was easy. I only did the prescribed amount, no more. I surprised at how short the 30 second rest breaks felt. 

Started feeling the DOMS from deads later in the day, so I have another reason to be glad I ran in the morning. The idea of running in the cold evening with post deadlift DOMS, ergh…

Day 14 (Day16) - Completed 15 November 2023

Scheduled rest day. I’m wondering if I should run though as I have English Camp the next two days which I think means early start and late finish. There’s a high risk I won’t run because of that so maybe I’ll run tonight instead. 

Day 15 (Day 17) - Incomplete 16 November 2023

I should have run yesterday. As predicted I didn’t run today because a) I had to get up early for English camp, and b) when I got home I was super tired and didn’t want to, so I didn’t. 

Day 15 (Day 18) - Incomplete 17 November 2023

Didn’t run again because of English camp. These camps really take it out of my, mostly because a lot of my day is spent around the other ALTs and I just can’t deal with people anymore. Especially noisy Americans. I end up drained and headachey. 

Day 15 (Day 19) - Complete 18 November 2023

This run was scheduled for 8 intervals of 2:30 run, 1:00 min walk. This was about what I was doing before starting the program so I knew this would be a fairly straightforward run, and it was. It was super cold too, probably the coldest I’ve ever been running, about 5 degrees, I think. I’m going to need to get some gloves and a headband that can keep my ears warm for future winter runs. My poor ears were so cold they were hurting.

Day 16 (Day 20) - Complete 19 November 2023

Cross training today was hiking and it was amazing! We headed out to the local hiking mountain where we’ve been before, with no expectation of how far we’d climb. It’s been a long time since we went there and the last time we only made it to the halfway point. But today we made it all the way! It was such a fun hike too, with some actually difficult bits here and there where you actually have to scramble up rocks and use the ropes that are placed there in order to pull yourself up. It was so much fun! I can’t wait to do it again.

Day 18 (Day 21) - Complete 20 November 2023

Decided to skip rest day and try to catch up a little. Today was the first day of the conference and I got home a little early so I went out as soon as I got home. I took a slightly different route to what I have been lately. I’m glad it was still light because it ended up being through some windy back roads that I hadn’t expected. 

The run itself was easy - only 8 intervals of 1 min on, 1 min off so I tried to push a bit on the run intervals. I also finished with some extra running, about 12 mins straight, which I’m still surprised I can even do. 

Day 17 (Day 22) - Completed 21 November 2023

So today ended up being rest day instead. I had fully intended to just continue on and do a cross training session today, but I didn’t. It’s a pretty lame excuse too. Steve messaged me about 4pm saying he was heading to the gym. I had been planning to go with him when I got home, but even that slight change was enough for me to say “my plans are ruined, might as well not even do anything now!”, because that’s just how I am. 

Day 18 (Day 23) - Incomplete 22 November 2023

I intended to run today, even though it’s cross training day, but I didn’t. I don’t really even have an excuse. It was the last day of the conference so I think my mental battery was just completely drained by having to socialise so much. 

Day 20 (Day 24) - Complete 23 November 2023

I know my next session was meant to be cross training, but I felt like running today instead. Today is a national holiday so I have no excuse. It was sunny out, actually a little warm so I only had to wear a t-shirt, I didn’t need to worry about long sleeves. This last week or so has just been a bit squiffy training wise, what with switching days around and English camp and conferences. 

This run was the first time it’s really pushed me past what I’d already been doing before starting this program, so I was a little apprehensive, but still pretty confident that I could do it. It was 6 intervals of 4 mins run, 1 min walk. I was worried that I’d be out of gas for the 4 min intervals but I was mostly ok. The last two intervals I was starting to feel like it was a push but I got through it ok. I felt more drained at the end of this run than I have any so far, so I think I’ve found the point where this program is going to start to get hard. There’s some big jumps coming up - like 5 min intervals, to 10 minutes, to 3km no stopping all in the space of a week. This might be where I tap out. Not that I want to, but historically that’s what’s happened. The program makes a big jump that I can’t keep up with and I quit. This time, if I can’t keep up with the intervals I’ll just repeat days as much as I need, or add intermediate steps in there. Like 7 min intervals, or 2kms without stopping. I have extra time - there’s 65 days left of the program and 92 days until the race, so that leaves me room to slow things down and add in additional training if I need it. What I shouldn’t be doing is using those days for extra rest days, unless absolutely necessary. 

[greatwyrmgold]

I have a point I'm getting to, and the first step in making it is to share this video of Morshu from the CDI Zelda games singing Scatman's World.

Jeff Lindblom doesn't put How-To videos or anything (at least, not that I noticed), but it seems like his process is pretty straightforward: Take clips of Morshu from Link: The Faces of Evil, then cut and rearrange them until the phonemes sound like completely different words. I assume there's also some pitch-shifting involved. Even if you don't like how it sounds, you have to admit that's impressive!

Same song, different singer, different tools. Kasane Teto is basically a shareware Vocaloid; a song using her voice is a bit less impressive than one using Morshu's, the same way that it's less impressive to carve a bust with a hammer and chisel than with a chainsaw.

But getting Vocaloids and their peers to sound good still isn't easy! To demonstrate what I mean, let me point you to another Teto cover that I couldn't find a Morshu version of—one which shows the UTAU interface and not a PS2 anime music video.

By contrast, this video shows you how to make an AI-voice cover of any song in a matter of minutes.

The hard part is finding clean samples of the voice you want to copy, but other AI cover tutorials can point you to tools that can clean the samples for you. I checked a few AI cover tutorials, and have yet to find a process that wasn't basically waiting for a bunch of file conversions—especially if you're reusing a voice model from a previous project, or one someone else uploaded. All promise you can do it in less than 5 minutes, and emphasize that most of that time is waiting for the computer to do something.

This isn't the same as a YTP or an UTAU cover. All the artistic choices involved were made by other people, by the voice actor or vocalist whose voice you're copying and by the composer and vocalist whose music you're pasting it onto. It's not carving a bust; it's creating a plaster mold of someone else's bust and filling it with secondhand bronze, using machines which simplify both the mold-making and the bronze-filling to the point that you don't have to do anything except pick the bust and press a button. It's not art, it's not craft, it's a convoluted file conversion.

That's not, like, evil. Most people uploading AI covers of "Scatman's World" as sung by The Heavy or Mr. Krabbs or Marge Simpson or whoever are doing it because they're lazy philistines; they're doing it because it sounds like a funny thing to do and it's easy. And to be fair, Mr. Krabbs singing "Scatman's World," a song about breaking free from the greed-centric worldview which Mr. Krabbs embodies, is pretty funny! But that's all it is.

[projectcubicle1]

The Financial Impacts: How Damage Claim Images Lead to Faster Payments

The Financial Impacts: How Damage Claim Images Lead to Faster Payments

Introduction:

Have you ever waited for what seemed like an eternity to receive an insurance payment? You're not alone. The insurance claim process can be notoriously slow, but there's a game-changer you might not have considered: damage claim images.   In this blog, we'll look at why pictures can speed up your insurance payouts, the financial benefits, and how dimensional scanners can supercharge this process. Ready? Let's dive in! 

Why Damage Claim Images Matter? 

Understanding why damage claim images are essential can significantly impact how quickly your claims get processed and how smoothly the entire procedure flows.   Here's a bit more detail on why they are so crucial: 

Psychological Factor: "Seeing is Believing" 

You know how people say, "A picture is worth a thousand words"? Well, when it comes to insurance claims, a good photo can also be worth a lot of money and time. If someone who's deciding on your claim sees a clear picture of the damage, it's way easier for them to get what happened.  People usually understand things quicker when they see a picture rather than read a bunch of words. A good photo makes it clear how bad the damage is, so the person looking at your claim can decide faster. A clear photo takes away the guesswork and makes it hard for anyone to argue with your claim. 

Legal Advantage: Providing Strong Evidence 

Legal fights over insurance claims can take forever and cost a lot. One way to avoid this hassle is by having strong proof, and good photos can help with that. Clear, well-timed pictures show exactly what the damage looked like and when it happened.  If someone questions your claim or you even must go to court, these photos can be super helpful. They make it hard for the insurance company or anyone else to argue against you, saving you time, and money on lawyer fees, and a lot of stress. 

Streamlining the Claims Process 

Without images, the typical claims process can become a protracted affair, requiring multiple inspections, paperwork, and back-and-forth communications between you, the insurer, and perhaps even legal entities. Each of these steps not only delays your claim but can also introduce errors or disputes that further slow down the process. 

Images cut through all this. They offer a straightforward, irrefutable account of the damage that can easily be shared and examined. This expedites inspections and eliminates the need for repetitive verification procedures. It's a win-win for everyone involved: The insurer spends less time and resources on processing the claim, and you receive your payout faster. It's efficient at its best.  The Role of Dimensional Scanners in Capturing Parcel Images  - Accuracy and Efficiency Dimensional scanners are super-fast, but they're also really accurate. When you're using these systems to take pictures of your packages, they provide a level of detail that's top-notch. This is handy when you need to show damage for an insurance claim.  Relevance to Damage Claim Images  These dimensional scanners are great because they take pictures that can go straight into your claim's paperwork. This means you don't have to jump through hoops to add these images as proof. It makes the whole claims process smoother and easier for you.  Data Storage and Easy Retrieval  Many modern dimensional scanners also come with built-in storage options. This makes it a breeze to save, access, and share your parcel images whenever you need to—be it for claims or record-keeping.  Integration with Other Systems  Dimensional scanners can often be integrated with your existing business software. This means you can easily pull up relevant images when dealing with other parts of your business, like customer service or inventory management.  By adding a dimensional scanner to your process, you're not just making things easier; you're adding an extra layer of reliability and proof to your damage claims. 

The Financial Impacts of Using Damage Claim Images 

Understanding how using damage claim images impacts your finances can give you a clearer picture of why it's worth investing in this practice.   Let's dive into the details a bit:  Faster Approval: Shorter Processing Time  Get Your Money Faster: When you have clear images showing the damage, the claims process speeds up. That means less time waiting and wondering when your money will arrive.  Free Up Time for Other Tasks: The time you save waiting for claims to get approved can be spent on other important parts of your business, like improving your services or focusing on customer relations.  Lower Operational Costs  Save Resources: If you've got images to back up your claims, you don't have to spend as much time and effort chasing after approvals. This saves not just time but also money on staff resources.  Avoid Costly Legal Fees: With photographic evidence, you're less likely to get stuck in legal battles. And fewer legal troubles mean fewer legal fees to pay.  Increased Customer Satisfaction and Retention  Keep Customers Happy: Nobody likes waiting, especially for money that's owed to them. Faster claims make for satisfied customers.  Build Loyalty: When customers see that you handle claims swiftly and transparently, they're more likely to stick with your services in the long run.  By making the smart choice to use damage claim images, you're not just making your life easier; you're positively impacting your bottom line. 

How to Use Damage Claim Images Effectively 

Maximizing the benefits of damage claim images starts with how you capture, store, and share them. Below are some guidelines to ensure you're doing it right.  Image Quality Matters: Tips for Taking Good Photos  Good Lighting is Key: Proper lighting can make or break your photo. Make sure the subject is well-lit, ideally with natural light, so all details are visible.  Stay Focused: A blurry image can be more confusing than helpful. Make sure your camera is focused on the damaged area to capture a clear, detailed image.  Multiple Angles for a Full Picture: One photo might not show the extent of the damage. Capture multiple shots from different angles to give a comprehensive view of the situation.  Documenting and Storing Images: Best Practices  Systematic Folder Structure: Keep your images organized by creating a logical folder structure that makes it easy to find what you're looking for later. This could be by date, claim number, or any other system that works for you.  Cloud Storage for Accessibility: Use cloud storage solutions for your images so you can easily access and share them from anywhere, whether you're in the office or out in the field.  Sharing with Stakeholders: Ensuring Secure and Effective Communication  Secure Your Communications: When you're sending sensitive information like claim images, use encrypted emails or secure cloud links to minimize the risk of unauthorized access.  Confirm Receipt: Once you've sent the images, make sure to confirm they were received. This ensures the right people have the information they need and keeps the claims process moving smoothly.  By making the extra effort to ensure high-quality, well-documented, and securely shared damage claim images, you're putting your best foot forward in speeding up claims, saving money, and keeping your customers happy. 

Conclusion 

The advantages of using damage claim images are clear, from speeding up your payment to lowering your operational costs and increasing customer satisfaction. As we've discussed, dimensional scanners can also play a significant role in optimizing this process. So, isn't it time you brought your claims process into the 21st century? Take that first step today.  Read the full article

[belphgr]

Day 32 + 33 | 15.3.2023 +16.3.2023

WC: 702

Prompt: Inspired by that one Bob’s Burgers scene.

Yuu goes by he/they pronouns

Alice goes by she/her

-

Yuu turned left and right, looked up and down and still didn’t have a clue where his friends from Twisted Wonderland had gone. Not to mention the airport was incredibly crowded at this time of year, navigating through the hoards of people- saying sorry every 10 seconds for accidentally bumping into several people as he was rushing was getting tiring. 

Ugh, they knew it would be a bad idea to bring a bunch of his friends to a ‘field trip’, but Crowley insisted. Thank goodness Yuki funded the trip, else he’d be living with debt over his head for the next 20 years or more. They were just about to give up and rest for a minute before they saw Alice walking towards them.

“Did you find them?” she asked, slightly out of breath from running around. Yuu’s grateful she’s here to help, it makes things a lot easier.

They sigh, “No, sorry. I told them to stay put.”

“Apparently they don’t like you enough to listen. Why are you even friends with them, they’re horrible,” she mumbled. Yuu blinked. Alice could tell she meant to say that in her head, but he couldn’t just brush it off.

“You don’t like them?” They understand, in a way. Their friends can be… difficult.

She looks shocked for a moment, before finally admitting it. Albeit angrily.

“No, I don’t! You try so hard for them every moment you’re around them, and they don’t show they appreciate it at all and they never get along and they get into fights all the time- leaving you to clean up the mess and make everyone apologise. It drives me insane! You deserve better because you’re like- the bestest friend anyone could ever ask for and they don’t value that.” 

She was panting slightly by the end of it, she had clearly been holding this outburst for a while.

Yuu was honestly a bit confused. Yes, his friends could be tiring but he had never felt unappreciated. Before they were finally able to go home- the feeling of loneliness stemmed from thinking that they were never going to see their family again.

Their friends showed they cared in subtle ways. Ace acting like he didn’t want his food and giving it to Yuu so they could eat more. Jamil making their favourite food even if all the other dishes weren’t remotely the same. Azul letting them do homework and fall asleep at Monstro Lounge, giving them a discount that he claims he gives to other customers as a favour. None of them showed with words because god forbid anyone here is honest about their feelings, but they proved that they really did care.

But he also understands Alice’s frustration. She needed to be told things outright to believe it- there was no beating around the bush with her. You had to tell her straight to her face to show her you were being honest. Yuu respects it, there’s little to no miscommunication with her and it’s easy to talk seriously. So he knew he had to be straightforward.

“You don’t like my friends.”

“No, I don’t.”

“That’s fine. They can be pretty hard to love at times-”

“Love?!–”

“Let me finish, Alice.” He paused, and she ceased what she was going to say. “Yeah, they can be pretty hard to love at times, but I do anyway. And I know it doesn’t seem like they do much for me in front of a lot of people, but they show they care in their own way. In private, y’know?”

“I know that everyone shows their affection differently, but you just-” she sighs exasperatedly. “You always seem so tired around them.”

“I always look tired.”

“But it’s different than your usual tired.”

“I’ve just been pretty busy.”

“Because of them?”

“Yes, okay. They do keep me busy sometimes, but I was talking about school and moving for the most part.”

She still didn’t look very convinced, but she knew there was no fighting against it.

“...If they do ever get to the point where they become emotionally draining, I’ll leave, okay? And I promise I’ll tell you.”

“I… well, alright. I’ll hold you up to that.”

Yuu smiles. “Thanks, Alice.”

[mbti-notes]

hi i’m an istj. i fear the problem im going to describe is resolved by being more Te proactive and taking on more leader responsibilities and failing. just typing that out makes me feel burned out and miserable. anyway i get involved with groups that align with my values to get things done but it always feels like i somehow join things that aren’t as efficient as i’d want them to be or stagnate. at the same time that i have strong opinions about what to do i resent having to take on more responsibility to enact it. i want to be part of an established, moral, process/group but it seems like everything is in flux all the time. just making sure: is this Te-Ne dysfunction ?

Your question is about type development. An important aspect of type development is understanding the weaknesses and flaws of your type, in terms of the ways that your type tends to misuse functions. You seem to believe that your problem boils down to a simple lack of desire to lead in group situations (weak Te?), but it probably goes far deeper than that.

Si-Ne problems often manifest as a general aversion to change, specifically, unwillingness to change how one looks at a situation, which would then significantly alter one's approach to it. Imbalance between Si and Ne becomes a very unhealthy stubbornness when one is also prone to Si-Fi loop that thinks in terms of pure absolutes. In essence, you believe what you believe and you want what you want, and nothing and nobody can break through that mental wall. Perhaps not even you.

Auxiliary development is meant to help with Si extremes and Si-Fi loop stubbornness by making you care more about empirical facts (Te) than your frustration (Fi). It isn't always easy to develop the auxiliary function when you come to believe that it interferes with what makes Si feel most comfortable (e.g. "just typing that out makes me feel burned out and miserable"). If using the auxiliary function feels so "tiring", it doesn't mean that you should avoid using it. Quite the contrary. It's an indication that you haven't yet learned to use it properly, which means further development is necessary.

Te wants efficiency, that much is true. However, what separates immature Te from mature Te is how exactly one conceptualizes "efficiency". When Te is immature, one has a very rudimentary understanding of how to be efficient. For example, one is likely to believe that efficiency is achieved through assertiveness or even brute force, i.e., "making" things happen despite all the obstacles in the way. Is it any wonder that using Te feels tiring, then? You're essentially forcing yourself to swim against the current. Si doms are painfully aware that their energy is finite, so they quickly run out of steam.

However, Te isn't really about mustering up energy. This is not what makes TJs smart, strong, and formidable. Mature Te conceptualizes efficiency as reducing the amount of energy required whenever possible, which is why they have a lot of energy to take on very heavy workloads - some people call it "working smart". This is done through facing the empirical facts of a situation head on and learning to work closely with them, which makes it far easier to make them work in your favor.

Your problem requires a two pronged attack:

Are you able to change how you look at situations in order to improve your approach (to address Si-Ne imbalance)?

Are you able to face the empirical facts of the situation and work with them rather than against them (to develop better use of Te)?

Wanting to be part of a process/group that aligns with your values in order to enact some good in the world is an admirable thing to strive for. Presumably, the other people involved in the group have the same sense of mission, otherwise, they wouldn't have joined. However, what you fail to take into account is that people aren't generally single-minded.

Human beings are complex because they are motivated by a multitude of factors, whether they realize it or not. They are full of psychological conflicts, contradictory desires, irrational impulses, old baggage, and unconscious bad habits. And when you bring people together, all that stuff comes out and creates complicated entanglements. A "group" only becomes a "team" when it is able to overcome those psychological obstacles together, and it can be a very long process of learning how to maximize strengths and mitigate weaknesses in every individual member. That's why a lot of groups simply fall apart. While your intention to join the group seems simple and straightforward (because Si-Te is admirable in its ability to keep things simple and straightforward), other people's intentions might not be so simple. If you fail to take into account the irrational aspects of human nature, you will cause yourself needless suffering.

Your frustration with people is likely a manifestation of your unrealistic expectations of them. Perhaps you aren't able to understand people who don't resemble you, let alone work with them. And you will certainly be doomed to fail if the only way Te knows to deal with individual differences is to force everyone to become more like you. That's an impossible task, not because it requires the energy of a thousand suns as you assume, but because you're choosing to fight against reality. Mature Te would advise that you should first face down the empirical facts of how people operate if you hope to discover the most effective way to influence them. Your repeated experience of feeling disenchanted with groups tells you that you're missing an important piece of knowledge about groups and how they operate.

I'll give you a very simple example from my own life. I used to gather with a group of 30-50 people once a week to conduct planned discussions. The discussions never really started on time despite everyone being in their seats because people weren't focused enough at the start of the session. There was often whispering and sidetalking and such that would go on for about half an hour before the room felt settled and focused.

One method of addressing the problem arose organically. Whoever was the main speaker simply started shushing people and it became a thing. Sometimes, it would even escalate to calling people out, like a teacher scolding a student in a classroom. This definitely made the social atmosphere less inviting and more tense. Sure, people would shut up after being called out, but they became less focused due to seething with resentment. Power struggles aren't great for group morale, especially if it's supposed to be a group of equals coming together for a common cause.

It all sounds quite childish, but these kinds of judgments are useless. You can call people childish, inefficient, incompetent, etc etc, but it doesn't solve the problem. And, worse, being judgmental blocks you from understanding people better and working with them. Perhaps an ISTJ would see this as a "mess", an "inefficiency" that wastes time, and evidence of bad character when people break the rules.

However, if you change the way you look at the situation, you might not be so quick to make such judgments. Actually, it's kind of weird for a bunch of people who know each other well to enter a room and immediately sit down quietly. Humans have a natural tendency to socialize as a way to strengthen interpersonal bonds. Isn't group cohesiveness a good thing, since it encourages better cooperation? If you are able to see the benefits of their chatty behavior and how it contributes to group cohesiveness, then instead of fighting against it, you would think of ways to harness it.

The real problem wasn't inefficiency; inefficiency was merely the symptom. The more primary problem was that a lot of people joined the group not just to "get things done", but also to make friends. The structure of the event denied them from fulfilling that important need and then they were more likely to act out. This problem was discovered when people had a chance to talk about what was frustrating them, which meant that the group had to make space to conduct some uncomfortable conversations.

To address the problem, the group eventually decided that the first 15 minutes would be devoted to socializing and allowing people to catch up, with the explicit promise to get down to business when the time was up. Some people brought drinks, others brought snacks. Some even showed up early to have more time to socialize. It enlivened people and enriched their relationships. Being "officially" allowed to get the chattiness out of their system, they were better able to sit down and focus on the planned agenda. The meeting felt like fun rather than a chore. And if you're interested in a cause, don't you want to recruit more people to support it? Making things more fun is one good way to attract support. You can look at it as wasting 15 minutes OR you can look at it as a 15 minute investment.

Solutions to human problems require:

cognitive empathy: figuring out what's really going on inside people's heads (in Te terms it means working only with the empirical facts of the situation, rather than indulging negative Fi judgments)

strategy: taking the time to work with people and figuring out the best way to help them get over obstacles (in Te terms it means investing energy early and wisely to maximize your returns later, rather than putting effort into the wrong places or only stepping in to tackle mere symptoms of the problem)

creativity: harnessing natural human tendencies to produce something useful or worthwhile (in Te terms in means taking what's already there and transforming it into a NET positive, rather than getting too fixated on every little negative detail and losing sight of the bigger picture)

Te can be a great function for dealing with human problems as long as you overcome the immature aspects of it, such as impatience, bluntness, or inflexibility. Every person is unique, so every group is different. Let go of the idea that there is only one way to approach a problem/conflict and you will start to be more creative in your approach. By accepting the fact that things are always in flux and using empirical evidence to understand and predict how change works, TJs become much more effective and efficient at everything they do. When it comes to people, meeting someone different from you is an opportunity to learn how to deal with that kind of person. The more knowledge you have of human psychology under your belt, the better you get at dealing with people's weird or negative tendencies. If a strategy works, use it again. If it doesn't work, adjust it to fit their psychology better.

In your situation, you see the problem as people being inefficient, so your inclination is to step forward and do something to "make" them more efficient. Humans aren't built with the prime directive to be efficient. They're not machines. Their psychology is messy, so trying to force them to behave like a machine is to force them to go against their psychology. In other words, you're choosing the least efficient approach. The more efficient approach, though it requires more intelligent thinking on your part (you want to become more intelligent, right?), is to properly understand the more primary problem of what's really causing them to be so inefficient in the first place. That is the way to discover the right strategy. If you are able to target those obstacles at the very root, efficiency improves more naturally.

Oftentimes, working smart doesn't require you to step up and be THE leader for everyone. As an introvert, it's probably more comfortable for you to work behind the scenes to talk to people, get a better idea of what they need and/or what problems they're experiencing, and incrementally remove the obstacles that are preventing them from focusing on what they should be focused on. You can't fix everything all at once, so just do what you can to fix what you are able to fix at any given point in time. It's a process and some progress is better than no progress.

[bestworstcase]

on ‘villainy’ and varian’s and cassandra’s moral codes

for all that varian’s and cassandra’s villain arcs get compared to death they’re really more different than they are similar, and i think one of the more interesting distinctions is the characters’ moral perspectives on their own actions--namely that varian recognizes his own choices as villainous and consciously self-identifies as a ‘bad guy’ and cassandra not only…doesn’t do that but appears legitimately taken aback when varian says she’s ‘become the villain.’ from this we can infer that varian is transgressing his own personal sense of right and wrong while cassandra isn’t.

and… well with varian i think it’s pretty straightforward: he’s a kid who desperately wants to make the world a better place and make his father proud, but his impulsivity and recklessness and general disregard for lab safety foil his plans and get him into trouble. then one of his accidents puts his dad into what is essentially a magical coma and varian becomes singularly focused on reviving him--and, when he realizes that the king is more invested in covering up the problem than fixing it and his only hope lies with a zealously guarded relic belonging to the kingdom, he decides that the only way to achieve this goal is to start breaking the rules.

so he asks rapunzel--his friend who promised to help him--to retrieve some information the king is trying to steal from him, and then persuades her to help him access the sundrop vault; then when she balks at stealing it he makes it clear that he no longer trusts her and escapes with the flower. at this point he’s in the morally dubious zone; being strategic about what he tells rapunzel to make sure she helps him, spiking cookies with truth serum to sow chaos and get information he needs, and doing things that are crimes on paper but also largely victimless. i think these were things varian could probably rationalize as okay--not exactly good, but no one got hurt and he got what he needed.

except the flower’s magic is gone. he drugged the palace, manipulated rapunzel and broke her trust in him, and committed treason all for something useless because the actual magic of the sundrop is in rapunzel herself. now he’s in trouble, because he needs rapunzel’s help but his desperate measures guaranteed she won’t be willing to help him again. and this is when varian realizes that his only options are 1. give up on saving his dad and turn himself in and hope rapunzel takes pity on him, or 2. accept that no one is going to help him now and do whatever it takes to free quirin himself.

so--mutating ruddiger, attacking the city, kidnapping arianna and threatening her with encasement in amber, building an automaton army to defend him while he works--these are all things that varian feels are wrong, but chooses to do anyway because he doesn’t trust that anyone else will even try to save his father. despite his anger and his rationalizations, at the end of the day varian sees himself as doing bad things for good reasons. (“Believe me, I know/I’ve sunk pretty low” & “I’m the bad guy, that’s fine”)

and when his reasons fall through--when he fails to free his dad--he falls quickly into guilt and despair over having hurt people for nothing. he stews for a year in how unforgivable and ashamed he feels, and even when he teams up with the separatists, he’s doing it in, basically, pursuit of a reset button: he wants to take back what he did. and when rapunzel shows him that he can be forgiven, he can have a second chance, he does have people who are willing to help him and trust him again, he drops the memory-wiping idea and his alliance with the separatists without a second thought--because what rapunzel actually does is give him a way to pursue his goals without sacrificing his conscience, which is what he really needed the whole time.

now, cassandra, on the other hand…

cass is an interesting character in this regard because, while she does want to be a hero, she’s not at all altruistic. she’s consumed by her lack of autonomy and she craves not only control over her own life but also respect from the people around her--her desire to be a hero is very self-interested, at its core. and moreover she has a somewhat fatalistic view of the world wherein some people (not her) matter and some… just don’t. 

moreover cassandra, despite her ambitions of becoming a guard, doesn’t so much as blink at eugene’s or the pub thugs’ criminal pasts--she is suspicious of lance at first, but on the grounds that he’s an unrepentant thief who showed up out of the blue under suspicious circumstances to ‘reconnect’ with his old partner in crime; eugene is also distrustful of lance, for the exact same reasons--and of course she doesn’t think twice about breaking the law herself. literally one of the very first things we see cassandra do is commit treason to make her friend happy. cass doesn’t care about the law, and she only wants to be a guard because she associates getting the job with having her dad’s approval and it’s also her ticket out of lifelong servitude.

on the other hand, cass does seem have a strong sense of right and wrong where people she cares about are concerned. she is constantly putting the desires and well-being of her friends ahead of not just her ambitions (e.g. in beginnings for rapunzel, or great expotations for varian) but also her own safety (e.g. risking her livelihood and home to sneak rapunzel out for the night in bea, or setting aside her misgivings about the sketchy bird people in freebird). 

which is all to say--cass isn’t exactly amoral but the moral framework through which she sees the world is… more complicated than varian’s. she doesn’t seem particularly motivated to help strangers but she’ll move mountains to help people she cares about; she doesn’t care much about rules or laws except insofar as she doesn’t want to get caught breaking them, and she has this hierarchical mindset that some people matter--meaning, they get to make decisions for themselves and have people care about what they need and want--and some don’t, and that she herself is stuck in the latter category despite her best efforts to climb out of it.

which brings us to the subject of the moonstone, and cassandra’s villain arc, and why cass, unlike varian, doesn’t consider herself a bad person.

i think what it comes down to most is this: taking the moonstone is an act of defiance against not only rapunzel but also fate itself. waiting in the wings sets up cassandra’s resigned acceptance of this hierarchical order and her own cosmic insignificance, and then in crossing the line she REJECTS that same order. she’s raging against rapunzel but also against the cultural and legal and destined systems that put rapunzel on top and forced cass into subservience. she is very literally fighting for her freedom against the universe itself.

and when cass was not an altruistic or heavily morally motivated or even particularly law-abiding person before, and when her conscience has always been predominantly oriented around taking care of her friends first and herself second, and when the thing that drove her to this breaking point was her friends spitting that back in her face… well.

it’s easy to say “cass literally tried to murder rapunzel a bunch of times, how can she possibly believe she’s the good guy?”--but rapunzel maimed cass, blamed her for it, and consistently prioritized her destiny over cassandra’s wellbeing; and rapunzel represents the cosmic order that cass is fighting to liberate herself from. and while i know that the -popular- take on be very afraid is “cass is terrified of hurting rapunzel,” i submit it’s actually “cass is terrified of having to fight rapunzel, because she still believes that fate is literally tilted in rapunzel’s favor and she can’t win a direct fight with rapunzel.” that’s why she’s so scared; that’s why rapunzel seemingly deleting the red rocks hardens her resolve; that’s why she marches into corona with maximum drama and bluster and builds a fortress and tries so hard to mess with rapunzel’s head before the battle begins. she’s trying to even the odds. and that’s why, when rapunzel stomps her into the curb, cassandra’s immediate response is “i need an army.”

cassandra isn’t scared for rapunzel. she is scared OF rapunzel.

we do also see cass trying not to harm people she considers to be innocent bystanders; she uses the truth serum on varian bc she needs the incantation, but afterwards she doesn’t even bother to restrain him until after he starts pestering her, she says flat out that she doesn’t want him to get hurt when she fights rapunzel; similarly she is willing to hurt calliope to force rapunzel to comply, but--despite her deep personal dislike of calliope--uses a minimum amount of force and again verbally expresses that she doesn’t particularly want to hurt her, that it’s a means to an end and nothing more. attacking rapunzel? that’s fine, rapunzel is her enemy. attacking eugene? of course, he’s rapunzel’s closest ally. mind controlling the brotherhood? that kills two birds with one stone--eliminating powerful enemies with a vested interest in taking the moonstone away from her and turning them into allies who can level the playing field between her and rapunzel. and when she does finally snap and raze corona to the ground? the people of corona attacked her first. i think cass ABSOLUTELY sees herself as fighting a purely defensive war against people who have or will hurt her.

and this is, of course, ultimately why varian failed to get through to her during ‘nothing left to lose’--he appealed to her sense of morality and her sense of morality shrugged. 

as for the thing that snaps her out of it? the moment that forces her to question whether she’s really as right as she thinks she is? it’s learning who her new friend really is. it’s the shock of finding out that she’s been allied with, confiding in, taking advice from a legendary villain, from a monster she likely grew up hearing stories about. cass takes it as a given that zhan tiri is evil--and if she’s friends with zhan tiri, what does that make her? and even then, cass is resistant to the idea that she might be a villain--“No, no, I’m nothing like you. Just because I’m pursuing my destiny doesn’t make me a bad person!”--which is, ultimately, very telling of her whole mindset. she’s not a bad guy, she’s fighting for her freedom. she’s not a bad guy, she’s protecting herself against people who want to exploit her. she’s not a bad guy, she’s just putting herself first for once.

and OAH generally, i’d argue, is not actually about cassandra trying to reconcile with rapunzel or redeem herself or be a better person, it’s… literally cass trying frantically to prove she’s NOT the bad guy. it’s “oh yeah? you think i’m a bad person? well could a bad guy do THIS? *lies and impersonates a former coworker and gets up on a stage to justify her own actions in front of a crowd*” it’s “a bad guy wouldn’t apologize, rapunzel never apologized for anything, and to prove i’m a better person I’M going to apologize! see? SEE!?”--and then everyone in corona attacks her and she goes “FINE, i’m the bad guy, fuck you all” and wrecks the place.

only then--only in plus est en vous--does cassandra get into a mindset similar to varian’s, of “i am the bad guy but if i can pull this off it will be worth it.” she’s not sorry. she still sees rapunzel as an enemy trying to get her under control again, and the only thing that’s really changed is cassandra acknowledging that she has in fact done bad things too.

and… i would argue that by the end of plus est cassandra… feels some guilt but isn’t sorry. “i’ve failed” and “i’ve done terrible things” and “i tried to prove i was more than everyone thought but they were right”--her anguish is not like varian’s anguish in RR, where he was consumed with despair because no one could possibly forgive him for the things he did. cassandra is upset because she did awful things and failed and she perceives that failure as proof of her own worthlessness. she’s right back to feeling how she felt in waiting in the wings but with a hefty new helping of self-disgust and shame for having been stupid enough to believe she could change anything for herself. 

she’s not sorry. she’s not pleading for forgiveness. she just wants rapunzel to give up and leave her alone--& then, after rapunzel convinces her that she’s wrong, and she does have worth as a person, and she does have a destiny of her own, cass does what’s necessary to clean up the crisis she created and then… just bounces. she gets the freedom she wanted and leaves without a backward glance.

(which. good for her.)

tl;dr: varian’s villain arc explores his moral scruples and what it takes for him to be willing to ignore them, whereas cassandra’s villain arc explores her incendiary reaction to a lifetime of injustices; she isn’t amoral but her sense of right and wrong is, unlike varian’s, very contextual and personal. varian is a pragmatic idealist who wants to be lawful good but is capable of setting his own morals aside in pursuit of a goal he considers to be important enough, and cassandra is one radicalizing incident away from realizing that her grievances are not a unique personal failing but a systemic problem and then leading a class uprising.

[taegyuun]

biology class

genre: fluff, acquaintances to lovers, highschool au

word count: 2.5k

pairing: jungwon x reader

requested? yes

notes: i hope you like this i really love college/school concepts and i was super excited to write this, also i had to search up topics for biology in highschool so if this seems too easy/hard for a bunch of 16 year olds y’know why. also yes i know in korea they have uniforms but for the sake of this they can wear their own clothes. I've been writing this all day, literally since the second i woke up until now which is 19:05 pm. I'm extremely proud of this so i hope you enjoy! texting is in bold.

yang jungwon.

the campus’ ‘it boy’. everyone knew, loved, hated, or couldn’t decide whether they wanted to be him or with him. people definitely had mixed opinions on him but it was mainly the boys who gave him the glances of evil.

they were jealous.

the kid was known for being easy going, naturally sweet to everyone and academically smart. but one thing that did tick the boys off though, were his talents. sure, there were many boys and girls in school that were nice and pretty and smart but somehow, yang jungwon just had to have it all.

not only could he sing, he could dance too.

not only could he be sweet, he could turn and give the cold glare too.

he was the definition of a perfect boy... and that’s exactly how you got involved with him. let’s just say you were at the brink of being infatuated with him.

but how could you not be? even though you two barely spoke together, when you did - even if it was only about the topic of your class - you felt like he was genuinely interested in what you had to say and it never felt forced. you always felt like he cared; no matter how boring the subject you were talking about was. it had you hooked in a second.

unfortunately, jungwon was popular. infuriatingly popular. and with popularity, the swarm of love letters and beautiful fangirls and fanboys also showed up in the picture. the thoughts of dating him disappeared quicker than you could say, “hello!” to him. it disappointed you, yes. however, who were you to dwell on some highschool boy? sure, he's not exactly the type that you’d quickly forget about the second you graduate but he also never made a real impact on your life other than some minor crush.

well that was up until your biology class.

“y/n and... jungwon.” the sound of mrs. lim’s voice boomed through the filled classroom and knocked you back into reality at the sound of your name. you look up from your hands in confusion and then rendered what she said - you were paired with jungwon for your biology project... that was worth 65% of your grade.

you weren’t exactly worried about getting everything done on time - you knew he would definitely cooperate and do what he was meant to do, but what you were worried about was messing up in front of him. i mean, messing up in front of your crush is the worst second hand embarrassment, no matter how nice they are. you put your thoughts aside and looked around the classroom, trying to find the boy, only to find him already looking at you with a smile and a small wave. you wave back before looking down at your fingers, picking at the skin near your nails. oh boy, you were in for a ride.

as the bell rings, you start to pack your things away, only to be stopped by a finger tapping on your shoulder.

“hey!” you almost feel like you’re in one of the cheesy romcoms, feeling like you had to cover your eyes from how bright his smile was.

“hi jungwon, what’s up?”

“i was wondering how we’re gonna do the project?” you thought about all the possibilities and topics. you could do it at his house, your house, the library and you couldn’t wait to decide on the subject. a small smile appeared on your lips at the thought of working with him.

“uh, what about i’ll give you my number and then we can decide after school?” you words were slightly rushed, as you tried to escape his presence as quickly as possible and get to your next lesson - wanting to hide away from the chilling glares his fangirls were giving you - which you were soon to be late to. he then pulls out a piece of paper and hands it to you before pulling his bag over his shoulder and sending you a pretty smile,

“remember to text me.”

you look at the piece of paper, a few numbers written on it in black ink. you dwell over the thought of having to text him first, but you knew if you didn’t, the project wasn’t going to get done. you thought over it a bit more and realised that your grades were far more important than some stupid crush. you pull out your phone and text a simple,

you: hi it y/n!

you put your phone down, expecting to have to wait a while for a reply and got back to picking at your food with your fork. instead, you're surprised to hear your phone vibrating on the wooden table, a notification with his name already on screen. you place down your utensil and look at the text.

jungwon: hey! so what do u want to do for the project? i think we should decide the topic first before figuring out where we want to do it 

you were glad that he was pretty straightforward and didn't beat around the bush, also that he genuinely wanted to get the project done and that it wasn't you doing all the work like the previous times you were partnered up with someone. 

you: what do u think about the musculoskeletal system 

jungwon: omg i was gonna say lets do smth to do with the skeletal system

jungwon: ok well then the topic is settled where do u wanna do it

you smile brightly at the easy agreement instead of having to scratch at your head for hours to get the other person to agree upon a topic.

you: i mean we can do it at mine if youre ok with that but the library is also an option

jungwon: yours it is then ;)

you look down at your phone in surprise at the “;)”, not expecting him to be so bold.

you: great! tmr after school?

jungwon: cant wait :)

throughout the whole day at school, you kept glancing at the clock, anticipating the final bell to ring so you could meet your project partner at the school entrance and walk home with him. you shake your head at the thought, trying to remind yourself that it was just a project - nothing else. the loud sound of a bell ringing brings you out of your trance, as you excitedly hop out of your seat. “woah, y/n... what's got you in such a good mood? its only lunch, are you that hungry?” you turn around and see jungwon standing with a hand on his bag strap and a few other boys behind him. you lightly laugh and say, “oh I'm just excited to get started on the project... hi guys.” you wave slightly at the boys stood behind him and hear a chorus of “hi y/n!!” following and excited waves. 

“ill see you later, alright?” you slightly smile as you start to walk away. your eyes widen at the yelling and hooting behind you as you look over your shoulder and see the rest of the boys shouting and punching jungwon’s arms, one of them yelling out a, “you scored! she's a cute one!” 

you smile slightly to yourself and lift your head higher, walking towards the cafeteria.

finally.

the final bell rings and you pack your things into your bag, sighing in delight at the thought of finally being able to leave the building. you walk out the class and instead of being able to walk straight out like usual, you see jungwon standing off to the side and gently waving at you. you raise a brow at him, but continuing to walk over anyway. “what are you doing here? i thought we were meeting at the entrance?” 

“i- um, i don't know i thought it be better if i waited for you here, you don't mind right?” he smirks knowingly, already aware of your small crush on him. he didn't find out through you, of course not. you were good at acting neutral around him - not even showing an ounce of adoration. however, one thing you weren't good at hiding, were your thoughts during your sleep. you two shared a free class together, and most of the time you spent it studying or sleeping. you didn't exactly say your thoughts loudly, but jungwon sat close enough to hear some of the things you had to say - him being a common topic of your dreams. he wasn't dumb, he could figure out that you liked him. but he also was a tad stupid - still not acting upon his already existing feelings and asking you out.

thankfully, you being his partner in the project boosted his confidence and had allowed him to create the ‘perfect’ plan of asking him to be your boyfriend. 

“i-uh, yeah! i don't mind. shall we go?” you say, slightly flustered. he nods in responses and mulls over what he was going to do. screw it. he grabs your hand and interlaces your fingers together, “so which way to yours?” your eyes widen at his action, looking at him with your mouth dropped open, before getting out a chocked, “uh, t-to the left.”

“lets get going then?” he starts walking and softly smiles down at you. you subconsciously squeeze his hand and smile back, walking hand in hand with him, steps oddly in sync. you hear a “hell yeah jungwon! get it!” and a loud, “ow!” followed after. you turn around and see jay holding his head in pain and sunghoon stood behind him with a smug smile on his face, throwing a thumbs up to both of you. you turn back around and look up at jungwon, seeing his cheeks tinted a light pink and a shy smile residing on his lips. you feel a soft tug at your hand followed by a clearing of his throat.

“come on, lets go.” you follow his step, hands still interlaced as you two walk in a comfortable silence, once in a while telling him which direction to go. 

“so what do you think we should start with?” you look up from the ground and see him looking at you, awaiting your response. “oh uhm, i think we should just start with getting all the info into notes and from that start making the project. i think we should leave the creative aspects like making it look nice and what not till the end because that doesn't really impact our grades so it isn't that important.” you feel his thumb rubbing you hand in soft circles and feel yourself getting warmer, completely forgetting his hand holding yours - it just felt so natural. he hums in agreement before speaking up once again. 

“I'm honestly so glad i got partnered with you, especially with this being such an important project. every time i had to work with other people who weren't my friends it felt like i either had to do all the work or scratch to the depths of my brain to get them to agree on a topic and on how we should make it work.”

“i totally get that!” your voice slightly raises in happiness at his words, “i feel the exact same way. every time i get partnered with someone, i always have to do all the work and it got so infuriating always having to credit them for something they never did or the bare minimum.” you take out the key from your pocket and twist it into the keyhole, opening the door and hearing the pat of your cats paws coming closer to the door. you both take your shoes off and walk to the kitchen, your cat following behind and waking in between your legs. 

“i didn't know you had a cat?” jungwon's voice forces you to look behind and find him to be crouching down and petting howl. “well, mr. yang, there's a lot you don't know about me, he's called howl by the way,”

“like howl from ‘howls moving castle’?” you smile brightly, happy that he got the refence. “yeah! i love that movie, its my comfort film,” you bring two glasses of water with you as you start to walk upstairs, jungwon following your steps. you both get to your room, opening the door wider to let him inside too. 

“woah.” 

“huh? oh uh, ignore everything - its not the prettiest room,” you say, slightly embarrassed at all the posters and random clutters on your shelves, “no, no! i love it, it reminds me a lot of my own room. its very fitting to you, y/n.” he smiles at you and you simply smile back, handing him the glass of water and hearing a quiet, “thanks,” in response. 

“well, should we start?”

“god! finally!” you both groan, falling back onto your soft bed, sighing at the ceiling. you two had been working since the second you got inside your room until the sun had set; your parents even managed to get back from work by the time you were only one third through your note gathering. you spread your arms on the bed, stretching as you did so. your hand then hits something soft and silky. you look to your left and see jungwon smiling brightly as your hand rests on top of is head. 

the whole time you two were working on the project, you both subconsciously stayed close to one another, as if you were just drawn to the other with an invisible force. even when you took a food break for 20 minutes and were sat opposite one another, your feet kept kicking the other, smiling and laughing quietly with warm cheeks. 

now you laid on your bed, your hand resting on top of his head and staying there with no complaints from the boy.

“i like your outfit,” you observed the comfortable fit he was wearing, oversized black hoodie with some blue text in the corner and loose fitting black trousers. jungwon looks down at what he was wearing before looking back up and smiling, eyes slowly opening and closing, “youre tired, aren't you?” he then opens his mouth, trying to deny your statement but gets cut off by a yawn. he blushes before softly nodding his head and getting more comfortable on your bed, unknowingly bringing you closer to him, eyes already closed. 

“take a nap, ill wake you up when it gets late.” he nods once again, barely conscious as he already falls into dreamland, arms wrapped tightly around you. you feel yourself heating up, both from his body heat and at his actions. you try hard as you possibly can to not squeal too loudly as you brush his hair away from his forehead and press a soft kiss in place. 

a tiny smile forms on his lips as you get more comfortable and start to drift away yourself. right before being sent away to your dreams, you felt a gentle kiss being pressed to your forehead in return. 

he may have not followed his ‘perfect plan’ of becoming your boyfriend but you both got 100% on the project... and a new found love.

[hellsbellschime]

Why Jaime Lannister's GoT Ending Was Actually Bad

Nearly every aspect of the end of Game of Thrones earned ire from the majority of the show and book fandom, but one aspect of the show's conclusion that seems to have frustrated fans across the board was the ending for Jaime Lannister. More specifically, that after a seemingly solid and nearly complete redemption arc, he returned to Cersei and King's Landing to die in a manner that somewhat works as a metaphor but didn't resonate well with the audience at all. And, while Jaime's ending was a flop, it didn't fail for the reasons that many viewers seem to think that it did.

The Lannisters are obviously some of the most complex and important characters in A Song of Ice and Fire, but one of the most interesting aspects of their family dynamic is that it was established far before the contemporary storyline actually began. And, while Game of Thrones seemed to paint it as if Cersei was a source of toxicity that Tyrion and Jaime couldn't get out from under the thumb of, the truth is that the bad apple that spoiled the bunch was never Cersei, it was always Tywin.

One of the most meaningful and important themes of George RR Martin's work is the long-term effects that abuse has on children, and there isn't really any example that is more present and potent than the horrific effects that Tywin's abuse had on all of his children, and how it affected them in different ways.

Jaime, Cersei, and Tyrion all have some of the most intriguing points of view in the entire story. And one aspect that all of their POVs seem to share in common is that while nearly everyone in their world perceives them as a villain, they all see themselves as victims. And the truth is, both sides of this coin are correct.

Yes, the Lannister children have done many horrific, irredeemable things in their lives, but they have also been the victims of extremely traumatic abuse that understandably altered their outlook on the world and on themselves in general. There is a balance between victim and perpetrator that needs to be struck with their characters, but one of Game of Thrones' bigger flaws was its inability to do that.

Unsurprisingly, nearly every character's book point of view grants themselves more sympathy than they should. Almost everyone sees themselves as a better person than they are or is capable of rationalizing away their bad deeds and focusing on their more positive decisions and personality traits. But this is of course one of the many ways in which George RR Martin utilizes his POV traps.

Translating a story that is told through the eyes of the characters themselves and filming it from a more objective third-person perspective means that plenty of important information is going to be lost in that translation. But one of the fatal flaws when it comes to the Lannisters is that, while Game of Thrones does still present Cersei as pretty forthrightly villainous, the narrative pretty drastically whitewashes Tyrion and Jaime. Essentially, it seems to take Tyrion and Jaime at their point-of-view word and treats them like they're much better people than they truly are. Thus, Jaime's ignominious end with the supposed biggest baddie of them all feels like a betrayal of his character development when it really shouldn't be.

Every character needs to be held responsible for their own choices, but the downfall of House Lannister really does rest in the hands of Tywin, and Game of Thrones ignoring that fact did a disservice to every one of the Lannister children in one way or another.

Yes, out of all of the Lannisters, Jaime was as close as Tywin could get to the golden child of his dreams, but it's easy to overlook that while Jaime may have been the favorite on the surface, every single one of Tywin's children was disgustingly mistreated, and the effects of his abuse all showed themselves in different malignant ways.

While Jaime may have gotten preferential treatment over his siblings, Tywin was never anything other than a terrible parent, and more importantly, Jaime's superior treatment only told him exactly how he could expect to be treated if he ever failed to live up to his father's high ideals. And of course, in many big and small ways, he did ultimately fail to live up to Tywin Lannister's exacting standards.

Tywin was a terrible parent because he was an abuser, but he also raised his children with his own values of pride, entitlement, and superiority. Obviously, the notion that they were simultaneously failures who had earned their own mistreatment but were also Lannisters who deserved to be above everyone else is opposing perspectives that are in constant conflict with one another, but it also seems to be how Cersei, Jaime, and Tyrion see themselves as constant victims while still perennially victimizing others.

George RR Martin has repeatedly discussed that one of the strongest themes of his work is the idea of the human heart in conflict with itself. Game of Thrones lost the plot with this in nearly every character adaptation, but Jaime's was one of the worst, largely because he is a character who has done some of the most monstrous and most heroic things in the story. He is both the man who doesn't hesitate to murder a child and the man who stopped a king from slaughtering thousands, and therefore his inner conflict is extremely vital.

Jaime's character arc in Game of Thrones follows a classic redemption arc almost perfectly, but that clearly doesn't seem to be the intent behind the character in the books. Yes, there is a part of Jaime that wants to be redeemed, but he does often revert back to his more brutal and nihilistic side, and his desire for so-called redemption seems to be driven more by how he wants the world to see him rather than how he wants to be.

And in that sense, the show did him a great disservice. Because there are many ways in which Jaime hasn't healed from Tywin's abuse, but the fact that he still seeks the approval of others in a rather superficial manner rather than developing a deeper understanding of true honor and justice is one of the clearest indications that, while Jaime does want to get out of the path that his father laid out for him, he is still crippled by what Tywin told him being a Lannister meant. And ironically, Tywin's belief about what being a Lannister means has essentially trapped all of his children into trying and failing to live up to that example simply because they can't survive unless they do.

Because ultimately, it's not necessarily just about what Jaime, or Cersei, or Tyrion wants. At some point, every single one of them has made obvious indications that they don't want to be a part of the legacy that Tywin Lannister laid out for them. But, when Game of Thrones presented Tywin as a super-intelligent master strategist instead of a completely unnecessarily violent and aggressive asshole, it made all of the Lannister children's choices harder to understand.

Both in the A Song of Ice and Fire and Game of Thrones fandoms, Tywin is typically put up on a pedestal, and that's completely baffling. Many viewers and readers perceive him to be brilliant and badass, but everything that Tywin is famous for actually makes him seem like a complete moron upon further contemplation. Winning battles by absolutely obliterating your enemies is a terrible precedent to set for many reasons, but one of the biggest is that it essentially requires all of the Lannister children to maintain this scorched earth policy because Tywin's hyper-aggressive superiority complex has put them in a position where they almost always have to choose to kill or be killed.

And, his cruel and dishonorable behavior as well as Jaime's reputation as the Kingslayer essentially guarantees that even if Jaime completely changes as a person and becomes the hero he wants to be, he really can't ever become that in the society that he lives in simply because the stigma around the Lannisters is something he can't escape.

That is one of the great tragedies that Game of Thrones failed to articulate, and that is one of the biggest reasons why Jaime's character conclusion was so off-putting to the audience. Because the audience saw the result of where this character arc would naturally go, but the story never actually took the steps to get there. In fact, the show went out of its way to erase a lot of the obvious building blocks that are leading up to both Cersei and Jaime's demise that makes it clear that, while they're obviously responsible for their own choices and actions, the groundwork that Tywin's abuse and cruelty laid and set in stone was something that they couldn't control, prevent, or undo.

Game of Thrones largely presented Jaime's characterization with the implication that if he could only escape Cersei, he would be a good man. But the reality was, if only Tywin hadn't been his father, then all of his siblings would have been better people. They may not have been good, but they almost certainly wouldn't be the kingdom-destroying villains that they became.

I also think the TV series likely bungled his character in that his story is meant to be a subversion of the classic redemption arc rather than the straightforward bad guy to good guy story that Game of Thrones told. George RR Martin obviously doesn't like flawless characters, and nearly every person in A Song of Ice and Fire does good things and bad things all the time, they never go in a straight line from point A to point B. So, of course it was going to be incredibly jarring when the show did move Jaime in a straight line from point A to point B and then abruptly gave him an ending that is probably somewhat similar to his end in the books.

But with that in mind, for all of the faults in Game of Thrones and the way they handled Jaime's character arc, I don't really understand the idea that his character was ruined by his ending either. These characters are clearly designed to never be just one thing, and if Jaime killing King Aerys or trying to kill Bran doesn't singularly define his character, then going back to Cersei in the very end shouldn't either.

[zuluc]

anonymous requested: i've been thinking about what to request for the past 3 days and i think i've finally got it. can i ask for kaeya or diluc with a crush that's a depressed bard that always composes sad songs and lyrics? here's the twist, though. their songs and lyrics start to cheer up as the two of them become closer friends!

pairing: diluc x gn! reader

style & genre: written; fluff

warnings: none

notes: i decided to do diluc for this one because I think it’d have a great impact on him as a person as well, and i’m here for more fluff with him 🥰 i made the lyrics myself for the sake of this fic please go easy on me all i know about music is playing the violin/viola also this is long

i changed the prompt a bit if that’s alright!

“Who are you exactly?” Diluc eyes you strangely when you look at him with a blank stare. In one hand you have a notebook and in the other is a lyre. You walked in only moments ago, actively avoiding anyone’s eyes as they knew you weren’t from town. You just wanted to go straight to the owner of the tavern and hope to share what you had in that book of yours.

“A bard,” you say. You look around to see a few of the townspeople staring back while the others cheer happily with each other as if an exciting thing had happened. “Do you have room for a performance?”

Diluc raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms. You didn’t appear to have any double meaning or ill intention in your words, rather, your eyes were just void of any glint of mischief he usually saw in a certain person. But to waltz in one day and ask for something like this so casually, you really weren’t from there.

“Sure, just don’t steal anything.” He is skeptical of you as he is of any one else but you didn’t need to know that. You were used to it after all. He directs you to the side of the bar that was supposedly the “performance stage” but it didn’t matter. Anywhere was fine with you.

The townspeople gradually stop their chatter as you quickly tune your lyre, playing a chord once the strings were ready. The tune that escapes into the air effectively silences any remaining voices. The song you were going to start wasn’t one they would usually hear in this city of freedom and apparently cheerfulness.

Your fingers hook at the strings, releasing them with ease as a soulful melody fills the entire tavern. The chord was of the lower register and hummed deeply. Diluc flicks his eyes over to you as he cleans a glass and sees your own eyes are closed. 

When the night has passed

For then will I be free

Will they see me trample dust

Or let me keep my feet

Your book is open and he can see the words you were singing on the pages. It looks like you just started this line of work given how many pages were left in that book, assuming it was your only one as all you came in with were those two items and a small bag of mora. 

He doesn’t notice how much of an effect your song had until he scans over the tavern patreons. Your voice carries through, swaying through the people to where it grazes a piece of their hearts to reminisce forlorn memories. But your words felt soulful as if they had come from your own experiences. A thought passes over his head which causes his heart to pang before quickly shaking it off when he realizes the feeling.

Ah, so you were this type of bard. 

Diluc just thinks he’ll only see you one time so he lets the thought pass through.

Once your song ends the drunk townspeople cheer loudly among themselves. You are taken aback by all the noise but bow politely to them for their reaction. You take your things as they call out for you to do another song and you shake your head.

“Maybe another time,” you say with slight sorrow to your face or words. They accept the answer and continue on their night and when you turn to leave, Diluc can’t stop the words that come out of his mouth. 

“Why not stay for a drink?” You look at him incredulously and he crosses his arms, “Call it payment for your services. They seemed to enjoy it.” You make cautious movement as you make your way to a stool. Diluc sets out an apple cider vinegar drink and you sniff at it. Once you take a sip you notice his face at the corner of your sight. The edge of his lip is slightly quirked up as he sighs while cleaning a glass.

It seems they weren’t the only ones who enjoyed the song.

--

Mondstadt was a city that was very welcoming in comparison to all the other places you spent time at. The people were either unwilling to hear your music or had particular reactions to the pieces you shared. To them, it seemed you didn’t understand that bar music was supposed to be lively and something to dance to. Not something to feel sad about.

But you wanted to share it anyways for your songs are one of the few things in life that you are proud of. One of the few things that have filled the emptiness of yourself that you lost those years ago and maybe, just maybe, sharing them will help you feel in some way. To you, these songs are sorrowful, but they shouldn’t just make people sad. That’s why you were quite surprised at the reactions at Angel’s Share  as opposed to those from other places.

They should elicit emotions of nostalgia. Or maybe, you just hadn’t found the right experience to make them happier.

--

You come back a few nights later and Diluc is working the bar yet again. When he lifts his head, his shoulders sag in relief seeing that it is you. Venti had come by a few times after hearing about you and kept pressing the owner about letting him on the stage as well. 

He was rejected numerous times in tandem with being asked to pay up for his drink tab.

The same book and lyre are still in hand when you head towards Diluc like you did that first night. He places the glass in his hands down and gives you a nod of his head, “Welcome back.”

“Thanks,” You look around and see that the tavern is even fuller than the last night you performed. It seems word had got around of your songs and they had all been waiting patiently for nights now. That was what an attendee had said to you outside the door anyways. “Do you mind?” You gesture to the stage.

“Go for it,” Any sense of caution that seeped through his words when you met him was near to nonexistent now. Maybe it was the impressions you left on the townspeople and their word of mouth the past few days. A depressing bard in the city of freedom in comparison to the other bards was news, especially when this bar had a wonderful voice to listen to.

The bar quiets again with the numerous greetings and cheers in seeing you up there. You flip open your book and thumb through the pages before settling on one song near the middle. It was a two-parter.

Your fingers pick at the strings lightly, slowly adding pressure thus causing the volume to increase subtly. Diluc shifts in his spot as he tries to focus on the tasks at hand but there really isn’t anything he is going to lose if he wants to listen.

I ran far in the depths of that same night

They chased me off as they truly had hoped

But I lost my way and wandered far

Met and saw numerous things was how I coped

The townspeople are yet again taken by your voice and melody that they had started to move with the music. Diluc decides to abandon his tasks for a little while, now aware how your music allows him to reflect as you intended. 

He sees these events before him. The death of one close to him and the loss of someone beside him whom he thought he could trust wholeheartedly. You stop singing but continue with plucking at the strings that calms the atmosphere. It is solemn and relaxing, almost putting the drunkest of the bunch to sleep but through sheer willpower they stay awake to listen on.

Happy and cheerful those that I have seen

But they were not accepting of me

Sharing the harsh reality of these mysteries

How will one otherwise feel so free?

The song ends and a round of cheers erupts, louder than the first night as there were more people. Diluc snaps out of his thoughts and wordlessly fixes you another drink that you take again, albiet still a bit shyly.

“Your lyrics,” Diluc begins and you tense at the sound of his voice, “From experience I assume?” He is straightforward, you should know this from the gossip around town. There was nothing in it for you to hide anything from him or anyone else so you tell him.

“Yes. That’s what makes good music, does it not?” You take a sip of the beverage. It must be a different one as it is much sweeter than the apple cider vinegar. “When you can relate to the words yourself. I simply want to share that with the people for reasons even I am unsure of.”

Diluc hums and doesn’t look you in the eye for his next words.

“I see. Your voice is quite nice.”

--

You both managed to continue with light chatter that night and he learns that you are staying in Mondstadt for quite a bit. You had no set plans to be in a specific place at any specific time so what was the rush to leave? Among this he is aware of how you speak. There is an ambiguous sorrow in your words from the effect of your past, he believes, that share no optimism but realistic choices that would completely stop the conversation. 

But he was the same so it continues. 

His past is the reason for his own apprehension when speaking with strangers but you were a little different. You outright told him your objective and you were just a bard who wanted to share their experience. 

You learn this of him and it was the first time that you felt light when speaking with someone.

--

“Y/n!�� They learn of your name after the third night you show up which is another few nights after the second. Some take your music as a lighthearted joke in contrast to their free lives while others pay close attention to the words and sway with the tune.

You give a small grin in acknowledgement before sitting in the stool in front of Diluc. Throughout the weeks you had gotten to know each other a little better besides the titles of The Sorrowful Bard and Diluc of Mondstadt. You were just y/n and he was Diluc.

You always make a point to talk to him before performing, giving a small insight into the meaning behind your words. Last time replayed the sleepless night and doubts as you wandered Teyvat and the time before that was a retelling of an animal that accompanied you for the last months of its life.

“It knew it had to go yet it decided to follow me, spreading that sadness of loss to me as I was attached.” You said to him that night with dry eyes.

All you tell him is that this song is a little different from your other ones.

He shows more of himself to you, actions he wouldn’t typically show to others if it weren’t for a certain motive or purpose. But you were not threatening nor wanted something from him. Diluc put a bit of trust in you for that.

You never sing more than one song each night because you want them to take in the words of each song carefully. Like that animal, you wanted to share the sadness but allow them to see the great memories.

This night contains your fourteenth or fifteenth song and it is fairly new. You wrote this in the early hours of the morning with a newfound emotion bustling inside your chest. You were scared when waking up, but felt reassured when there was a hint of melancholy there among an unfamiliar emotion.

The tavern goers look at you with hopeful and excited eyes. You feel warmth in your heart as you remember the times a few of them have come up to you telling you that your music has made it easier to sleep. That your music is inspiring; sad, but inspiring.

You play a chord and Diluc raises a brow in hearing a lighter tone. Underlying is that first low tone in your first night, indicating that you plan to keep a sense of your usual. 

Then I stumbled in, seeing the light there

Unexpected welcoming I was greeted by

At first there was nothing then passed a while

Uprising something foreign for me to finally cry

Even if your eyes are trained to the floor, they are in his general direction. You didn’t know what you were feeling and you sure didn’t want to push it. 

He has his entire attention directed at you. 

You pluck higher notes much different from the chords you were accustomed to, messing up in a few that no one seemed to notice. You straighten yourself and look over the entire bar, settling your eyes on him for a bit too long for him to notice.

And so thankful am I

To be able to do such as that

And never is it unwelcomed

The beats in my soul are no longer flat

Your eyes stay staring at him and the cheers drown out. Diluc’s hand raises a few centimeters from the counter but you have already picked up your book and instrument and left.

The drink is untouched as he follows after you, thanks to Charles.

--

You feel like you can’t breathe but there is physically nothing blocking your airway. You assumed it was due to the collection of body heat in the tavern but even the cool night air did nothing to soothe the burning in your face. 

Why did I look at him? Why was he looking back? What does this mean?

“Y/n!” You gasp at the sound of his voice and as you turn around you hope that it was just in your head. Your mouth opens and closes but you can’t speak. you don’t know what to say.

Truthfully, he doesn’t either. 

Diluc didn’t know what to expect when you told him it would be different. He definitely didn’t expect for the song to be about him. He had deducted this reasoning and confirmed it when your eyes met and to you leaving.

In that room he felt the same: his face was warm and his heartbeat picked up when you lingered your gaze on him. He didn’t know what this feeling was either. 

Neither of you are speaking, the breeze brushing through.

“I’m sorry!” You say, bowing your head so he cannot see the tears of confusion, frustration, and something else running down your face.

“Why are you apologizing?” He is near you now and he can feel you jump at his touch on your shoulder. When you don’t push him off he moves his gloved hand to cup your face to lift it up. This is the first time he’s seen you cry. 

Ironic, given your songs. 

Diluc lightly presses his thumb to your cheek to brush off a tear. “Apologizing is for if you’ve done something wrong. You have done nothing of the sort.”

“Are you sure?” You say without hesitation. It is an automatic response, built upon the hardening of your heart and soul through your travels. Diluc chuckles, a small smile on his face.

“I am sure.”

--

You strum lightly, a newfound lightness to you that almost everyone has noticed. Your songs still have that sorrowful reality to them but at the end they have changed. Seeing more of the graceful and fulfilling beauty of life.

Diluc still fixes you drinks after every performance and indulges you in conversation. This time around, however, he leans in closer and places his hand closer to yours.

And you are thankful to feel that emotion.