#because I’d love to experience that again

[foreverabby]

Abby Anderson from a comphet perspective:

Hey guys. First off, I want to say that this isn’t my headcanon of her necessarily, but that the possibility has absolutely crossed my mind. I wrote a cute piece about it on my previous account that you guys enjoyed, and I wish I still had it to link here.

I could argue for it either way, if I'm honest. But let’s explore it, yeah?

I guess if we’re deep diving this, it’s important to have some idea of what compulsory heterosexuality really is. Which, of course, I can’t possibly summarize in one paragraph.

Every queer person has their own story and experience. But in essence, it’s a combination of society and circumstance convincing you of what you’re supposed to want. And it’s not always a conscious lie. Think of it as spending your whole life mistaking admiration and safety or even fear for attraction. As someone who lived it myself, I’d describe it as a deep, gnawing sense of something broken, like a hollowness left by relationships that just felt kinda wrong.

The next point I want to make, is that people often argue that Abby wasn’t capable of letting herself reach for happiness after grief overtook everything in her life. While this is totally possible, as someone who lives with PTSD myself, it’s not the only outcome of trauma.

In fact, often times, it can be the opposite. Grief doesn’t always shut people down. Many trauma survivors actually seek out sex and intimacy as a means of coping (hi, Manny, I see you, good sir) and it’s entirely possible the loss she endured could’ve intensified her need for affection.

But if what is being offered does not feel right, it gets complicated.

Grief definitely made her rigid, but I don’t want to ignore the flickers of queerness that shine through in some of her scenes.

Again, this is my personal interpretation, not fact.

But it’s interesting to me that after five years of life threatening raids, violent patrols, confined quarters and messy high adrenaline camaraderie, she’d never engage in any form of attachment outside her adolescent relationship with Owen. No casual lovers, no drunken kisses, no flings. Maybe there were, and we just didn’t hear about it. But it’s heavily implied otherwise.

It’s intriguing to me also, that her roommate is arguably one of the most sexually active people in the apocalypse, and her reaction to it is rather indifferent. Proximity and trauma bonding often lead to blurred lines. Manny is flirty, shamelessly horny, and chasing tail at every outpost (we love a romantic King) and Abby lives with him. This man is throwing sexual energy into the air like confetti.

Comphet can sometimes include trying to feel something with people who are safe and trusted, but Manny is loud and flamboyant at times. A relationship with him wouldn’t fly under the radar. She’s private and hyper disciplined. Also, they’re so platonic it’s unbelievably sweet. But why?

She trusts him more than anyone else. He supports her and sees her in ways she doesn't find elsewhere.

Food for thought.

Isaac, being the militant ex-marine he is, placing them together in shared living quarters always had me curious.

I wonder if it would've been different, if she had a queer, female roommate.

Also, to say it’s because she was in love with Owen, feels a little disingenuous. Sure, that may have been the case, but again, when has that ever really prevented humans from seeking companionship in times of immense stress? Especially at her age. She's beautiful, warm and funny, and the WLF is full of strong, attractive people. She’s one of the toughest, most respected and capable soldiers. Nobody made a move on her? I doubt it.

But did women feel comfortable reaching out? I genuinely wonder. Would she have even entertained the idea in the absence of safe queer attachment? Or would she have defaulted to the only thing commonly modelled to her? Conversations surrounding queerness would’ve been so much different for them than it is for us.

Something to consider.

Anyway. If you’d like me to go deeper with this, I’m absolutely down to do it. It’s a fascinating topic for me and I really cut out so much from this one, just to keep it from being too exhaustive.  

No matter what, this girl deserves boundless, gratuitous amounts of love. I adore the thought of her with a woman because she's such a softie and it just fits her so well. 💚🩷💚

[pixiedurango]

Lucanis to F! Mage! Rook (Yvonne) Mercar

Post Veilguard, Rook is busy participating in the repairs of Minrathous. With his obligations Lucanis was forced to go back to Antiva and he miss his lover

Ding Dong! Antivan Postal Service back to deliver! Thank you so much for your ask and the interesting backstory you told me bts about how sweet your Rook and Lucanis' dynamic is. I hope I do it justice and you (and Yv) enjoy.

Transcript:

Yv. My beloved.

One would think the Ossuary would have taught me at least the ability to endure time, but it seems, missing you is a whole new kind of torture. Call me dramatic, but after all you knew what you are in for with an Antivan man. We live and breathe drama and elevate it to whole new levels.

But even without the added drama: I still miss you. Every now and then I see a flower that I know you love, or taste food that is one of your favorites. Even worse… or good… when I catch a scent that reminds me of yours and I am catapulted right back into sweet memories of times, cherished together.

The other day I went to see a ballet. It wasn’t even in the Dellamorte Opera House where my attendance as First Talon would have been obligatory, no! I fully inflicted the sweetest of torments on myself by walking into the Treviso Public Theater to watch Swan Lake. I wished, we could have shared this experience. But since I know it’s not possible at the moment - even with the luxury of short travels via the eluvians - so it was the closest thing I could do to feel like we’re sharing a moment together.

See, Yv, mi amor - it’s hard to top the drama that is an Antivan man, let alone a Crow, when they… feel. And, Maker! Do I feel! Almost forgotten, buried under years, decades - a lifetime of pushing away every emotion in order to be able to to what I was supposed to do. You saved me. In more ways than you think even possible.

Mierda! I had intended to write a lighthearted letter to you, telling about my days as First Talon and only in a sweet undertone there was supposed to be an even sweeter hint of ‘I miss you, hurry, my heart, so we can be together soon again.’ Well, I guess, I royally messed that up! But I am not ashamed to admit it, either. Because I know, that my words will make you smile as you read them and that alone is worth everything to me.

Of course, if you can’t come for a visit, soon - a letter will have to make do, but I hope you’ll tell me everything about how your days are going and how Minrathous is rebuilt up to thrive soon again. But it’s also the little things I long to hear about. Do you eat enough? Sleep well? What made you smile? How many cats have you petted and are you recharging after doing a lot of magic, mi amor? Do you take time off your busy day to do something for yourself? Nourish the soul? Read a novel, listen to the bards, practice your dancing, buy yourself a treat? If not, and I highly suspect, that more often than not, you tend to forget, promise me to take an hour away from duty every day and use it for something beautiful just for yourself.

And of course, if you can’t come over to Treviso any time soon - be assured, that I will elope from my First Talon duties (which are not as tense as first suspected, since Caterina is still technically in charge and unwilling to let go, yet), and find you in Minrathous. I can help with what ever needs to be done and I know you don’t like to accept my gold - but you surely won’t reject the honest work of two willing hands which don’t shy away from getting dirty. And I mean that not even in a Crow way, but quite literally.

So, I’ll let myself be surprised which will find me first - a letter written by your sweet hand, or you in person, which of course I’d vastly prefer.

Stay safe. Try not to kill anyone who doesn’t deserve it and promise me to at least try to do any of the things I suggested above. It will do you good, believe me! It makes a difference - I can tell, because I try to remember and take times off like this for myself more frequently. Remember? To live life, means to live it fully. We may not have been able to do it back then - but we can choose to do it. From now on and forever. I love you!

Yours always ~ Lucanis

find all the other Antivan Postal Service letters here Rules for application to get your own letter here Veilguard faction dividers from here, thank you @flowersforthemachines

[alliecat2099]

The Super ultra Guaranteed Method

(For those who hate guided meditations and struggle with focus)

Okay—if you’re like me and have trouble focusing and hate guided meditations, this is my amalgamation of other methods as lazy as I could make them. I call it the Super ultra Guaranteed Method because you should be confident. Decide you can shift this way and you can! But you don’t need a method never think that anywaysss

⸻

Pre-Method Setup

• Optional, but recommended: I usually play 10 minutes of Slade’s void state sub and just let myself think about whatever.

• This clears out all the buzzing thoughts so they’re not bothering me anymore by the time I’m ready to shift. It also makes sure that you don’t end up wanting to reposition yourself in bed while you’re already affirming and stuff, can’t tell you how many times I’m about to shift but then I just hate the position I’m in for some reason. Hopefully this pre step diminishes chances of that happening to you.

• You can move during a shift, but if you’re someone who has trouble believing that you can, it’s best to avoid it altogether.

⸻

Step 1: Breathwork (4-7-8 Style)

This part helps you clear your head, goal is to really forget old reality and let your body fall completely asleep.

• Inhale for 4 seconds

• Hold for 7 seconds

• Exhale for 8 seconds

You have to focus on the timing, so it pulls your mind off all the random stuff.

If you want to affirm during this���go for it. I usually don’t.

Note: you aren’t married to these specific numbers but keep them different from each other so it doesn’t become mechanical and boring (basically don’t do 4, 4, and 4, I’ve found that I’ll get used to it and that’ll leave room for my mind to wander again.) If you’re thinking about anything during this part let it be your gratitude and goodbyes. Thankful you can shift, life is beautiful and you get to experience more, stuff like that. Once you feel ready you can move on!

⸻

Step 2: Counting + DR Tapping

This is the less boring part

• Count to 100 (or whatever number you like).

• While you count, imagine tapping a surface in your Desired Reality (DR) with each number.

• Example: If you’re in bed in your DR, feel yourself gently tapping the mattress—one tap per number.

• You can use a finger, your hand, whatever feels natural.

Extra: Start by affirming with each number (doesn’t have to be exactly on tempo but helps. And if you’re starting to have trouble focusing on that or just bored with it switch to thinking from your DR self instead.

Important: As soon as you said your first affirmation, you were already there. Just let yourself feel that.

⸻

Step 3: Grounding! (The 5 Senses)

If you haven’t shifted yet and counting’s getting old, switch to five senses.

• Hearing is usually the easiest to imagine (maybe just me personally),start there if needed.

Just keep drifting in and out of those sensations.

If you’re using this as a sleep method, continue until you drift off with intention of waking up in your DR.

⸻

Honestly, this is half for me to remember it myself—but if it helps anyone else, I’d love to hear how it goes.

Let me know what works for you and if there’s anything I should add!

And before anyone asks, yes I’ve shifted just trying to be quicker/ more consistent with them.

🖤

[lucidheart3]

My HC’s for Amy’s three favourite Epic the Musical songs.

Dedicating this post to my mutual @humble-introvert0808, hope you like this one!

Click to see Wachowski Boys’ and Shadow’s

1. Challenge

I think that Penelope is absolutely Amy’s favourite.She is so strong like Amy herself, and her love for Odyseus is only makes her more resilient as the years go by. She admires Penelope’s smart move to undo the work she has done every night for the shroud, managing to hold off everyone for twenty years.

Also, the lyrics ‘I’d rather die than to grow old without the best of you’ really impacts her.And she headcanons that Penelope places herself right in the true aim of the arrows so she never has to marry anyone, and that makes her cry everytime.

2- Would You Fall In Love With Me Again

I think this one would totally be the song she listens to the most and cries nearly every time. She’d probably spot the instrumental part references to the other songs too before any of the boys could.

Everytime the chorus comes and she starts looking at him like this 🥺 Sonic immediately hands her a napkin because she has cried on his arm once and it wasn’t a pleasant experience.

Also, Sonic kinda starts regretting letting her listen to this song because she sings Odyseus’ part to him very often to him, expecting him to answer with Penelope’s, scoffs when he doesn’t then sings it herself lol.

She shares this favourite with Shadow, and I wanted to include this because I enjoy them going to the concerts together in twitter takeovers so I think the both would love to listen to this song together so much (but of course Shadow would deny)

3- Wouldn’t You Like

Like Sonic she enjoys listening to Hermes’ songs and the beat is very fun to dance to.

[ratgirl2020]

Time to clown.

The giant books: ACOTAR opened to the page of the iconic "there you are" line AND chapter 21.

The book mark: "Don't let the hard days win" Mor to Feyre, chapter 22 of ACOMAF.

The signing: "I was a wolf. And I bit when cornered." Chapter 21 of ACOMAF.

What does it all mean?

So many things happen in ACOMAF between the two lines.

I snarled at him, “I could have used some help.” “You survived,” he said. “And found a way to help yourself.” From the hard glimmer in his eye, I knew he was aware of the panic that had almost gotten me killed, either through mental shields I’d forgotten to raise or whatever anomaly in our bond. He’d been aware of it—and let me endure it.

Rhys let's Feyre rescue herself. He doesn't need to go save her because he trusts her and she is his mate, his equal.

“You’re a prick, Rhysand,” Cassian said quietly. Rhys merely tucked his wings in with a graceful snap. “You’d do the same.” Cassian shrugged, as if to say fine, he would.

Yes, Cassian would do the same... so would Azriel we can assume.

And Feyre agrees to train!

“The High Priestesses have burrowed into a few of the courts—Dawn, Day, and Winter, mostly. They’ve entrenched themselves so thoroughly that their spies are everywhere, their followers near-fanatic with devotion. And yet, during those fifty years, they escaped. They remained hidden.

Big talk about the suspicious high priestesses. Madame Merrill remains suspicious in my books.

Yes—Azriel, who kept a step away, whose shadows trailed him and seemed to fade in her presence. I opened my mouth to ask about her history with him, but the clock chimed ten. Time to go.

Reminder that Azriels shadows disappear around Mor. How anyone can say shadows disappearing can be a good sign baffles me.

Chapter 21s everywhere!

Chapter 21 in ACOWAR: Amren and Feyre discuss the prison and Amren's experience there. Feyre has a terrible dream bringing her back under the mountain. the chapter ends with : We had survived. Never again—never again would I let someone hurt him like that. Hurt my sisters like that. Never again.

Chapter 21 in ACOFAS: Solstice when Cassian throws Nestas gift into the Sidra, the mirror of Azriels bonus chapter. Cassian's ends with him sulking alone, Azriels ends with Gwyn on his mind.

Chapter 21 in ACOSF: this gem: “Shall I tend to my little garden forever?” When Nesta flinched, Elain said, “You can’t have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater.”

Also this: Rhys’s own chin dipped, and that was that. Nesta said to Feyre, “Did you tell Elain?” Before Feyre could reply, Azriel said, “What about Mor?”

I love how Azriel thinks of Mor, disregarding Nesta's question about Elain. He clearly isn't over Mor.

Also this: “Elain was right. We’ve become so focused on how her trauma impacted us that we forget she was the one who experienced it.”

Not chapter 21 but a chapter 21 mention: Nesta opened the brown paper and beheld a stack of pages filled with writing. At the top of the first page, it merely said, Chapter Twenty-One. She read the first few lines beneath it, then nearly dropped the pages. “This—this is about us.”

Has SJM been playing the long con for her chapter 21s? are we delulu? finding hints that are actually nothing? Probably. But I'll keep clowning.

[eywaseclipse]

I remember this day so well. I thought I was so cool because I got dropped off at the theater with my friend. I was 12, so doing all of that alone felt huge at the time. I remember how new the 3D movies were to us and how realistic everything looked. Some people even left the theater because they got nauseous lol. After we got picked up I just stared out the car window in this daze wondering what I just witnessed. Because it felt like so much more than just two big blue aliens falling in love. And here we are 15 years later, and my obsession is stronger than ever.

[hootyhoowoo]

A little 15 min doodle but first post of the year has to be Bingqiu!

[customizablefriend]

My true self still loves Tommyinnit I am still an inniter at heart I have not changed

[wildsaltair]

considering smacking my head against a wall so hard that I lose all my memories and get to watch Gladiator for the first time again

[fingertipsmp3]

I am once again having a sexuality crisis (read: wondering if I’m a lesbian or just have been stuck in my hometown for too long yet again and therefore haven’t seen a man who doesn’t look vaguely like a fish in years)

[clegfly]

Small thing I’m cooking for idksomethingclever99’s fic MITPP!! For some reason I’m having trouble tagging them but here’s the fic!!

This seemed fun to do… probably won’t get more done than this page though…

[hopecomesbacktolife]

oh Stansborough farm & weaving mill… if you are ever, ever hiring, please pls pls pls consider me xoxo

[himblebo]

Again again thinking

[lesbianfakir]

Princess tutu tulpa save me save me save me princess tutu tulpa

[your-local-grinning-cat]

Would you perchance not be opposed to a coffee shop outing with me?

(If you're not purrticularly fond of coffee, a cafe or other little restaurant is always another option)

💖

😸 Purrfect kitty pun, Darlin! I appurrove! 🫶

As for going out to a coffee shop, cafe, or restaurant… I’m open to any! *chuckles and grins*

While I’m not very fond of coffee, coffee shops usually have other goodies that I am fond of! If not tea, then hot chocolate or I can always order a double chocolate chip Frappuccino if we’re at Starbucks or a place that is willing to make a copycat drink for me! 😸

And even if there’s not a drink for me and I just have to get water, most places like that would have yummy snacks to eat. While I don’t think any would be able to top Trey’s terrific treats, they can always try! And it’s always fun tasting them! 😹

Cafes and restaurants fall into a same category - as long as you find one with a fairly sizable menu, anyone can find anything! And I’m generally an easy kitty to please when it comes to food…

GIVE ME DAIRY OR GIVE ME DEATH!!!! 🥛🧀🍨

…and meat. I love meat too! 🥓🥩🍗🌭🍔🍣🍤

I think I joked with someone when I was catnipped that dairy was bad for cats - and it IS, don’t feed cats dairy they don’t actually appreciate milk it hurts their tummies - but I am not actually a cat. I am a cat beastman. And therefore I can have dairy and I do have dairy and I love dairy.

Give me all the grilled cheeses with bacon and chicken alfredos and breakfast casseroles with egg, cheese, and bacon or ham or both!!!!!!!!! 🤤

…but I’m also fine with just about anything! *laughs, appearing next to you and rubbing my cheek against you, purring and smiling at you*

As long as the two of us can find a way to have fun, I think I’d be fine going anywhere with you, Darlin~! 😸

[lunaelume-n]

want to know where the hannibal fans are that have an ugly past, that can’t always relate to knowing they’re really a good person inside. want to know where the hannibal fans are that struggle with terribly intrusive thoughts, that have acted immorally and have been genuinely unsafe or unhealthy for others, even others who were innocent. want to know where the hannibal fans are that grew up deeply questioning everything about reality to a disturbing level, and how isolating that felt. fans that struggle with feeling very angry and hurt, or just feeling their feelings all the time. if not feeling, analyzing everything, all the time. the fans that can’t always relate to being the victim of the story, but the person who’s done harm too. want to know where the hannibal fans are at that have genuinely wondered if something is severely wrong with them, and not because of their admiration for the show, but because of the ways they’ve behaved, things they’ve thought or said, interests they’ve had, but also because you grew up feeling less included than you’d like, so you just feel more odd than most, maybe even doomed sometimes. this show is a helpful tool in observing myself more objectively, and i appreciate that because i’ve been able to learn when to step back and let go, on top of applying other coping mechanisms i have. i do feel isolated in this fandom sometimes because while i know i am not my past and my mistakes or my struggles, i see many people online that i feel might not have strayed too far the way that i have, and while i have a general grasp on reality and morals, and i’d never intentionally act out of line with those morals now in my life, i have in the past, and i’ve been wrong, unsafe, and cruel. i’ve been able to reflect on myself and grow, so there’s comfort in that, but there’s still also the worry of “what if i am alone in this?” knowing how unlikely that is, given how many people are in the world.