#I haven’t actually felt physical attraction to them | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

zvdvdlvr · 9 months ago

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— Lunch Break

— 🫧. Synopsis. Spencer hasn’t been feeling well lately. When he accidentally gives you his lunch as well as yours, you have to leave work to make sure he gets his lunch and eats to make sure he gets better. But the thing is, no one knew Spencer had married someone.

— 🫧. Warnings. Blue!collar reader. Female reader. Collective group shock lmao. Foul language. Welder!reader. Pet names. Possible out of character Spencer but i dont really care. I’m so sleep deprived yall.

— 🫧. Other welder!reader pieces. Alive and Breathing.

“Bye, angel,” you murmured after pressing a kiss to your sleepin husband’s cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Spencer replied tiredly, eyes opening the slightest bit. “I already put your lunch in your cooler. Be safe.”

You smiled. Of course, even though you have to leave at 2 in the morning, Spencer’s already five steps ahead. You turned to leave the bedroom but stopped after hearing him cough. “Before you leave- I got you a few more boxes of that DayQuill/NyQuill stuff and Mucinex. Should be on the counter. Make sure you take them, Spence. I know you haven’t been feeling well. Bye, I love you,” you spoke quickly, throwing your coat on.

Spencer felt a smile forming on his face. His wife: always attentive and gentle (to him at least). “I love you, baby.”

“Hey,” Spencer greeted, picking up his phone and heading out of the bullpen. “What’s up?” Spencer was confused: you didn’t usually call him or contact him when you were at work unless it was absolutely necessary. Were you in trouble? “Are you okay?”

“I’m alright, angel. I’m coming over to drop off your lunch. You, uh,” your voice paused, probably observing other drivers’ movements at a red light. “You gave me my lunch and yours. So I’m on my way. Do you want me to come up or… drop it off? I’m all dirty ‘n everything,” you rambled.

“I think you look hot when you get off of work,” Spencer replied with a smile. He felt himself sigh. He was glad nothing had happened to you.

Your laugh crackled through the line. “That’s because it’s a very physical job, Spence.”

Spencer chuckled, “No, babe, I think you’re just… naturally very attractive.”

“You’re too good for me, Spence. Did you take your medicine? You sound pretty nasally,” you questioned.

“Yeah, I took it,” Spencer replied quietly with a smile on his face. You noticed everything- and Spencer was the profiler! “Anyway, I gotta go, babe. Drive safe, my beautiful wife. I love you.”

“I love you too, husband.”

Spencer tucked his ohone back into his pocket and wandered back out to the bullpen. “Hey, so… I have something to tell you,” Spencer blurted out to Emily and Derek who were watching him like a hawk.

“What is it?” Emily asked immediately, eyebrows furrowing.

“So, I want to apologize for keeping this for so long but I just- I didn’t know how to tell you. I mean, not to mention the fact that you wouldn’t have believed me anyway but that’s not the point. The point is I want you to stay calm and don’t be mad at me.”

“Whoa whoa whoa, kid, slow your roll. What’s goin’ on?” Derek asked.

Spencer looked at both Emily and Derek before sighing. “My wife is gonna be swinging by soon and… she’s… all I’m asking is don’t scare her away. Actually,” Spencer paused, smiling slightly, “she might scare you a little bit.”

Emily’s brows raised higher then Spencer previously thought possible. “You… What?” She asked, standing up.

“You’re actually joking.” Derek stated, face solemn. “You’re joking, man, come on.”

Spencer shrugged, hand coming up to pull the necklace his ring was on from under his shirt to show his coworkers. “We went to the courthouse one year, eleven months. two weeks, four days, and twelve hours ago.”

Derek blinked. “Are- You’re seriously not joking?”

“I have the documents at home to prove it,” Spencer replied, tucking it back under his shirt. “If, you know, you want to see them.”

“I’d rather see her in person,” Emily stated, already starting her pacing. “But like, you didn’t kidnap her or anything did you?”

Spencer shook his head. “No, believe me. She loves me, Emily. I love her.”

Derek sat, hands on his head. “So we missed the wedding and everything? You didn’t say a word, man.”

Spencer nodded. “We were gonna tell you, invite you over for our anniversary.”

“Spencer, what’s her name?” Emily asked suddenly.

“Who’s name?” A low, gravely voice asked. Aaron Hotchner stood, hands on his hips, staring each of his agents down.

“Spencer’s wife’s,” Derek responded slowly.

“Oh,” Hotch replied casually.

“You knew?!” Emily asked loudly, mouth dropped open in shock.

“I saw he added someone else to the insurance, and there was another emergency contact. I haven’t seen her though,” Hotch answered honestly.

“When’s she gonna be here?”

“Soon. She called me probably five minutes ago, so estimating the amount of traffic about this time, I’d guess probably ten minutes.”

“I assume you can find something to do for ten minutes?” The corner of Hotch’s lip turned up just the slightest bit, and he had a hint of amusement in his voice. When Derek finally tore his eyes off of Spencer and Emily bee-lined for her desk, Hotch turned around and stalked over to Rossi’s office to tell him the good news.

Spencer stood up when he heard the unmistakable sound of your steel-toed boots making comtact with the floor. A sweet smile painted his face as he gravitated to you, shoulders relaxing at your presence. “Hey, baby,” he whispered when he was close enough to you.

“Hi you,” you replied, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. You brandished a brown paper bag, Spencer’s name written in your handwriting.

Emily watched you walk in. You were wearing two shirts, dark in color with small holes decorating the sleeves and the hem of both shirts. Your pants were dark and thick, dark liquids and stains all over them. The boots on your feet were definitely thick: steel toed if Emily had to guess. A physical worker, she put the pieces together. Electician? That wouldn’t explain all the stains. Mechanic? Couldn’t be: why would your shirts be all torn if you were fixing cars? Welder? The pieces fit, though Emily wasn’t too educated in that department. She had respect for you. Not many women Emily knew could handle the responsibilities of such a physical job, or handle all the creeps, jerks, and perverts that passed in your workplace.

“Derek,” Emily whisper-yelled. He looked up and she gestured to where Spencer had strode over to you.

“Come on.”

Emily stood up, brushing her hands on her pants and followed Derek to where you were conversing.

“-come back? He’s been slacking off too much, baby, you shouldn’t let him keep relying on you to get his stuff done,” Spencer rambled angrily.

“It’s nothing I can’t handle, Spence. How are you feeling? I brough- oh. Hi,” you greeted.

“Hi! Mrs. Reid, right?” Emily asked, sticking her hand out.

You smiled brightly and nodded. When you saw her hand and showed her your own: “I don’t, uh, think you’d want to do that,” you murmured.

“Doesn’t bother me,” Emily assured honestly.

You returned her genuine smile and clasped her hand. “Thank you. You’re… Emily? Right? And then you’re Derek?” You asked, turning to face Morgan.

“That’s us,” Morgan answered.

“I don’t think Spencer’s brought me up. I’m y/n Reid,” you introduced. “Sorry for all the grime. I came to drop off Spencer’s lunch,” you explained, shooting Spencer a smile, who kept his eyes trained on you the whole time.

“Good to meet you, y/n.” Emily said. “If… if you’re alright with it, I’d like to get the team together. To meet you. If,” she glanced between you and Spencer who was watching you unblinkingly, “that is okay with both of you? I don’t want to push you.”

Derek side eyed Emily. Penelope would probably scare y/n away, even though she didn’t mean to.

“Up to you, baby,” Spencer murmured when you turned to face him.

“Doesn’t bother me,” you answered. Glancing at your Casio, you nodded, “I’ve got an hour.”

“It’ll be fast,” Emily reassured with a smile.

Emily and Derek split up, Emily going up to get Rossi and Hotch, Derek rounding up JJ and Garcia.

“Are you sure, baby?” Spencer asked. He led you to his desk, setting down the bag you gave him. “I don’t- they-“

“Do you want us to do this another day? When I’m not in my work clothes?” You asked, refusing to sit down on anything.

Spencer shook his head. “No, no. I just want you to be prepared. They can be overwhelming.”

“‘Overwhelming’ I hear?”

You turned your head and saw two men and Emily walking towards you both. The younger looking one was Hotchner because you knew David Rossi’s face; him being a famous author and everything.

“Hello! You must be the missus,” Rossi greeted, sticking his hand out. Good lord, you thought, feds and their handshakes.

You showed Rossi your dirt stained hands and opened her mouth.

“We’ve touched dead bodies, y/n. I promise we won’t get upset at a little grease,” Emily explained gently. Good god, you thought.

Regardless, you shook Rossi and Hotch’s hand, grateful for Emily’s reassurance. Spencer wrapped an arm around your shoulders. He leaned in, whispering “You’re doing great, baby.”

“So,” Hotch began, “I want to personally thank you for keeping Reid sane and healthy.”

Emily and Rossi both laughed. “Yeah, he’s got enough trouble on the field,” Emily joked.

You elbowed Spencer, a grin painting your face. “Is that right?”

“Doesn’t matter if it’s right or not: I’ll always come back to you,” Spencer replies softly, eyed swiftly darting to your lips.

“Spencer!” You reprimanded, smacking him (lightly) on the stomach. “Your bosses are right there, you-“

A loud shriek cut you off, making everyone’s gaze dart to a person behind you. “She’s real! Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Reid! You didn’t even drop a singular hint that you were hitched!”

Spencer chuckled, pulling your form a little closer to his. “If I remember correctly, JJ saw my ring when I was asleep on the plane: I assumed she had told everyone and you didn’t want to bring it up.”

“For a genius, you’re pretty dumb,” a new voice cut in. “Hi, I’m Jennifer Jareau, but you can call me JJ.” The blonde smiled warmly and brought you in for a swift hug.

“Ah! Hello, you gorgeous soul! I’m Penelope!” A shorter blonde, more colorful and energetic, embraced you. “I’m so glad to meet you, even though, you know, I didn’t even knew you existed until about two minutes ago.” She shot your husband a look. “But, I would cery much like to get to know you, as would JJ and Emily if you can’t tell.”

You smiled. “I’d love to now, but seeing as I’m technically on my lunch break, I don’t think I’ll have time to do everything you probably have in mind. Could we,” you turned to Spencer, eyes glinting, “bring them over for dinner?”

“Anything you want, babe,” Spencer replied. Truly, if you had asked him to give you his heart, he would find a way to rip the organ out of his chest and give it to you in his bood stained hands. Dinner? No problem.

“I’ll give you my number. Penelope could make a groupchat or something,” you suggested.

Everyone nodded. Hotch was looking forward to this dinner. And Rossi, no matter what he said.

After you gave Penelope your phone number and everyone dispersed, Emily and Derek were wise enough to go busy themselves with a vending machine.

“You alright, baby?” Spencer asked.

You nodded. “I’m alright. Glad I finally met them. I, uh, hope you’re not mad about the dinner thing.”

Spencer scoffed. “I wouldn’t get mad over that.”

You shrugged. “Well. I should probably head back to work. Sorry for getting you all dirty,” you apologized again, pulling away from Spencer quickly, remembering you were in your work attire.

“It’s alright, baby. ‘M just glad I got to see you.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, a sly smile forming on your face. “You’ve been awfully sappy lately, Spence. Are you sure you’re alright? I’m seriously considering taking you to a doctor.”

Spencer laughed. “I’m your sap,” he responded casually.

“Okay. Seriously. Stop making me get lost in your eyes because I got to go to work. Bye. I love you,” you babbled, pulling Spencer down to kiss you.

“Bye, wife,” Spencer whispered into your lips.

“Bye, husband.”

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homunculus-argument · 7 months ago

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hey there! this sounds like a bit of a silly question, but as a trans guy, you’re one of the few trans people i’ve been following almost since i joined tumblr, so based on your other anon ask and answer i figured i’d pop in and ask if you have any advice? if you want to answer, ofc :) — i foresee this being a bit long, so i totally get if not

so i’m also a trans guy, but i haven’t been able to take any steps toward medical transitioning before since i live with my parents. but i’ll move out soon, and i still can’t decide if i should take any of these steps even once i do. i’ve never felt like i particularly wanted to medically transition (i don’t really care about how my body looks + i’ve never really cared about changing any of it), but i would like to be seen a guy — i don’t mind if not so by strangers, but maybe so by like, my friends. but i can’t help but feel like i’d be laughed at for wanting that — i’m not naturally androgynous or masculine looking to others and i have never been mistaken for a guy, because i have really long hair, d cups, and curves. and without medically transitioning, i also kinda feel like i’m… betraying the trans community, since i’m not really putting the effort into my transition and so i’m just ‘pretending’, even though i do know i’m not.

so my question would be: as a trans person who has transitioned, socially and medically, do you think people are more understanding than i think they are currently? do you know of any trans people who don’t want to medically transition, and do you think it’s possible to live fulfilled that way? or even: do you think it would be easier for someone like me to just live a lie? i usually tell people i’m a lesbian, because they definitely would not look at me and assume ‘straight guy’, but also, as a trans person who doesn’t want to medically transition, i’m just always worried that i won’t be taken seriously. i feel like your experience of being trans and probably interacting with the community is much more than mine, which is why i ask this last one — i would try being open myself, but again, i’m still living with my parents unfortunately.

I'll be honest I don't actually really know much "community" save for former art school classmates. I've only known one trans person irl who chose not to medically transition - at the time, Finland's trans law was still shitty and required sterilisation for legal sex change, and all that. She didn't want kids or anything, but refused to engage in the process as her own little personal civilian protest. I don't want to paint some caricature picture of some Sharp Dommy Tall Scary Goth Trans Anarchist, but I was deeply impressed by the way she didn't do a single thing to try to seem smaller, softer, or in any way submissive or docile to be ~feminine~ the right, socially accepted way.

She wasn't just taller than most men but usually the tallest person in the room, and she stood out in a crowd of cis women like a crane in a chicken coop - a bird just as much as they are, but a different kind of bird. And I remember thinking that I could never do that, being so unflinching and unhesitant about standing out in the crowd because assimilating and muting yourself is beneath your dignity.

Honestly, I don't know what to tell you about being openly trans without transitioning medically, save for that it takes more guts than being able to just go stealth. I had physical dysphoria about the way my body was, and was desperate to get top surgery just for the sake of my own physical comfort, and I like the convenient anonymity of being able to just be Just Some Guy who doesn't attract anyone's interest or curiosity.

It's a smart move to not come out to your parents before you're out of their house and not relying on them for anything - this is something everyone should use their own judgement for, but I stress it to every queer kid to not take the risk if there's any chance that they'll react poorly while they still have power over you. But living your whole life in the closet - "living a lie" is a good way to put it - will corrode you from the inside.

It's better to live in peace with yourself and against the world, than in peace with the world against yourself. There is absolutely nothing in your power that you could do to change the minds of people who have already decided that they don't respect you, and if they try telling you that they would, if you only met their approved criteria, they are lying. That's bait they're dangling in front of you, and there's no "earning" the respect of such people.

Stay true to yourself and be good to people, and you'll have the respect of people who are capable of respecting you. Don't waste your time and energy on people who won't respect you, every thought and effort you spare them is wasted on them.

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thebadboyfanclub · 2 years ago

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I Would Like That (Harwin x Reader)

Another Harwin imagine and this was actually really interesting cause I wanted to write a slow burn with an arranged marriage trope, I hope you like it.

Lady (y/n) Tower was a wonderful match for Harwin, a noble house of the river lands and allies to Harrenhal, his Father Lyonel did not want to discuss it further with Harwin, especially after the whispers amongst the red keep of Harwin's living princess Rhaenyra pregnant, the same that this would bring to house Strong would be fatal.

(Y/n) traveled to Kings landing to meet with her intended, Harwin was wildly disinterested but respectful, it was to his knowledge that the lady did not have a choice in this nor was it her scheme to be ripped away from Princess Rhaenyra.

“May I present the third of my four children, lady (y/n)”

“My lord”

(Y/n)s voice was as light as a feather as she bowed before her future lord husband and good father, Lyonel was impressed, the lady was young and attractive, and she would stand well next to his boy.

(Y/n) took in Harwin for the very first time, the rumors were true he looked quite powerful, he also looked as strong as he was handsome, with curls that fell loosely and deep blue eyes, she immediately pictures little children that inherited his eyes.

Harwin took her hand in his to place a kiss on the back of her palm, some would say it was a good start for the couple, however (y/n) only felt coldness radiating from his lips, he hadn’t said a thing and he did not appear to be excited or even interested.

She shifted from one foot to the other due to the uncomfortable aura that lingered within them, Lyonel waited for a minute to give his son a chance but to no avail.

“You must be tired, the journey is certainly long and we deeply appreciate you for coming all the way here, let us show you to your chamber”

“That sounds lovely”

(Y/n) had a target on her back, to which Harwin hated himself for it, the minute they were married he felt responsible for her, (y/n) is kind, poised, and optimistic, to be around her was like being in the sun, her warmth engulfed you, unfortunately for her a few days after their wedding princess Rhaenyra gave birth to Jacaerys Velaryon, a boy that looked almost identical to Ser Harwin.

One could imagine the embarrassment that ran through her veins when she had to bow before the princess and her husband and congratulate the couple for their heir, still, she smiled fondly at them before she peeked at the child, her hand landed on the top of his head to caress the babe's hair lovingly.

“Congratulations princess, one day I hope to be as lucky as you”

Some say it was a jab to Rhaenyra, others it was a secret pain that bled (y/n)s heart to death, whatever the case may be Harwin felt the urge to do better by her, every time his gaze fell upon her he was constantly reminded of how he was underperforming in his wedlock.

“I have arranged for us to leave when spring comes, harrenhal is lovely this time of year”

“I do not understand”

“We are going to settle to Harrenhal, I will take my place as my father's heir and you will be by my side”

(Y/n) did not respond, she just furrowed her eyebrows as she tried to find the reason behind his new plan, ever since they were wed Harwin had not only been the commander of the city watch, but he was also sworn knight to Princess Rhaenyra, how could he leave everything behind?

Harwin almost sensed the questions that occupied her brain and reached from his chair to grab the hand that was resting on the arm of her chair, Harwin and (y/n) were not usually physical with each other, as much as she would love to be Harwin had never shown that type of intention.

“I haven’t done right by you, it is time for me to treat you a lady Strong deserves to be treated”

(Y/n) smiled as her heartstrings played like the sweetest of harps and the words rested on her mind, it felt like a beacon of hope had finally been lit in her life.

She nodded before she bit her lip to hide her excitement, she could already imagine telling that story to her beloved daughter when she comes of age and must marry, to bestow optimism for what’s to come to her and show her that there is always room for improvement.

Unfortunately, one mustn’t know all the plans that the future holds.

Harwin had gotten into a fight with a commoner while he was on watch and had managed to slice in the belly, along with a pretty heavy wound on his head, his fellow knights had dragged him to his wife, waking up in the hour of the bat to see your husband bleeding and unconscious caused her to go in hysteria, she had woken up the entire castle with her screams and luckily the maester as well.

(Y/n) tended to him for a fortnight, sat by his bed awake, and cleaned his bandages every two hours like clockwork, the damage was not fatal but it was serious and if it got infected the cost would be his life, Harwin would wake up only to be fed by her, soup, water and bread, that was all he was allowed to consume since they had once tried to give him meat and he threw up almost immediately, his stomach could not handle it yet.

“(Y/n)”

“It’s me my love, time for supper”

(Y/n) wrapped her arms around him like the maester had shown her to make it easier for him to sit up, Harwin grunted as he felt his flesh stretched which was an extremely unpleasant sensation alongside how fragile he had become.

“Here, I managed to convince the maester to let us add fish, I know eating the same thing can be boring”

“Nothing can be boring when you are the one that serves it, dear (y/n)”

(Y/n) could already detect the blood rushing to her cheeks as she was blushing, how could she not? Harwin had been in and out of consciousness for days, barely being able to speak, now as he slowly was coming up on his feet and (y/n) could listen to the sweet sound of his voice was a treat by itself, let alone to listen to such lovely compliments.

(Y/n) dipped the spoon on the plate before she blew slightly to cool the substance and then fed it to Harwin, the warmth of the soup brought comfort to him, and the combination of food with (y/n) looking at him with her deer-like eyes as she waited for a reaction was getting his spirits high.

“Oh I remember you, you were right, fish makes it better”

“If you digest it properly maester said that we can also try to help you walk, I was thinking of the gardens since the weather has been generous the past days”

“Not more than you, you have been more than generous to me”

“It is my duty as your wife to tend to you”

“No, it isn’t, you have been ridiculed by the court, you could have despised me and left me for dead”

“Harwin-“

“You endured it all, with grace at that, now you came to my aid and have been nothing but wonderful to me, you are more than I could ever ask for”

“You are not a bad man Harwin, I understand I was not the lady you would have chosen to be your lady wife”

“Indeed, I would not have picked you”

The scrunch of the nose that Harwin saw (y/n) does was enough to help him recognize that (y/n) was also hurting, badly, she thought that she came second and perhaps that stood true when they first met.

(Y/n) was about to feed him another spoonful before Harwin stopped her, once again he grabbed her hand but this time he brought her knuckles up to his lips to place a kiss full of endearment.

“Because I was a blind man that did not see the blessing that is you, I am delighted that my father was smart enough to see the gem that you are. I love you”

Tears came to her eyes as the weight that had kept her from breathing was finally lifted off her chest, she deserved a round of applause for how well she had kept it together for this long, only the Gods know the number of times (y/n) had cried herself to sleep from the unbearable burden of having to wed a man that already had a firstborn bastard and with a princess at that, she kept her spirits high for the sake of her family and to restrain herself from going insane.

“You healed my wounds, I believe it’s time that I heal yours, what do you say?”

“I would like that”

Her voice cracked as the tears ran down her cheeks for Harwin to reach and wipe away, it was hushed but it was enough of a response for Harwin to smile at her, silence fell upon them but as they stared back at one another all that needed to be said was there, to Harwin's hand resting upon hers and the fond grins.

They both experienced the relief of beginning a new chapter as they both held the pen together, their vows coming to fruition as they spiritually became one, accepting one another as someone to love and hold.

As (y/n) kept feeding her husband with the ritual of slightly blowing each spoonful for him slowly but surely the soup vanished from the dish and Harwin felt better than ever, it was perfect timing for his father to walk in.

“How are you today son?”

“Much better, my dear has been taking good care of me”

Lyonel came to a halt at the scene that unfolded before him, (y/n) placed the tray aside and Harwin stretched his arm to find her hips and pull her next to him, making (y/n) yelp from the surprise and plop right next to him.

Lyonel admired his good daughter ever since he met her, she was perfect for Harwin and the way she cared for him and stood by him was admirable, to say the least, now that Harwin had seen to look past his nose and become the man he should have been months ago to her was wonderful news, Lyonel nodded once as a smirk played on his lips.

“I see I am interrupting, I shall leave you to it”

“No, you are not interrupting my lord”

“Father with all due respect I would like to spend some time with my lady wife, in private”

Requests are open!

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ask-sister-solaris · 8 months ago

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“Wait me?”

Ray Stantz X reader ficlet

Warnings; none just toof rotting floof

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You had an extensive education. Psychology, science (physics, biology and chemistry) aswell as some more ‘niche’ studies including neuroscience and parapsychology. You had quite a deep understanding of the paranormal and occult, seeing it as nothing but a hobby, but when the Ghostbusters come around you realize you could actually make use of your PhDs and knowledge.

You stood infront of the tall and rundown building looking back at the paper. Yup this was the place, old Fire station. You peeked in before stepping in and going over to the reception desk. A dark red haired female looked up at you and she gave you a confused look before you explained why you were there

“I’m here about a job..I believe I can be of assistance to the Ghostbusters, I have proof of my PhDs and exam results..”

She hummed and turned around yelling for someone a man, no taller than you, pelted out of his office and vaulted over the border between the back room and reception. You recognized him as Peter Venkman. You’d never met him personally but you’d heard from students he’d had.

“Well hello, how can I help?” Peter gave you that signature smile and you rose a brow, how did women actually fall for him..shaking your head gently you held out the envelope containing all your certificates

“I’d like a job” your voice was surprisingly firm despite how shaky you felt. Peter looked it over and hummed impressed before smiling holding a hand out toward you. “Welcome to the Ghostbusters, follow me and Dr Stantz can get you all situated” you nodded and followed him as they reached some sort of garage. A pretty beaten up car was sat with the bonnet up and it looked as if someone was working on it, a small radio blasted out rock music, Peter turned the radio off.

“Ray! We have a new recruit walk them through the proton packs and stuff will you” he walked off before the poor man could answer. You gave him an awkward smile and wave. Ray wiped his hands and held it out, which you shook with a smile.

“Ray Stantz, I’ll try to explain the whole proton pack thing but we haven’t even had a test run of them yet” he rubbed the back of his neck. You chuckled and smiled gently waving it off “It’s fine Dr Stantz honestly, I’m just happy Dr Venkman took me on..”

He smiled gently “please call me Ray” he led you to the storage room where the suits and packs were kept. He explained it briefly, it peaked your interested quite a bit and you took in every word he said. You’d always been the same, attentive, friendly and hardworking.

It didn’t take long for you and your fellow ghostbusters to actually gain popularity, after the hotel everything seemed to be smooth sailing. Most of your time was spent in the lab with Egon and Ray, or in the garage with Ray. Venkman usually left you two alone in the garage teasing he didn’t want to interrupt two lovers bonding. You found it funny that he’d say that, considering you’d had a massive crush on Rag since day one, and little did you know that Ray felt the same.

Time seemed to fly by, you, Ray and Egons researched revealed more about Dana’s apartment and you and Ray spent even more time than you had previously. You had to confess but you were so scared. And she panicked when she was called and found out Ray and the others had been jailed. She rushed to the police station and told them you were also a Ghostbuster and if they were jailed you should be to.

Admittedly Ray found that downright attractive that you’d put yourself up there proudly claiming you were a Ghostbuster. Shortly after you were called in to the Mayors office. You stayed silent while the madman that had turned the grid off ranged (Egon had filled you in) and you hummed “Hold on. If what you’re saying is correct then it’s your fault, you turned off the grid releasing all the spirits and ghouls onto New York. And not to mention you blatantly ignored Dr Venkman”

The other four looked at you surprised and you turned to the Mayor “Now id listened to my colleagues before the whole of New York is destroyed and plunged into darkness” you stepped back and stood beside Ray his eyes never leaving you. God his heart was pounding even faster for you. Once the Mayor finally agreed offered a lending hand all five of them set off in the Ecto 1.

Fighting Gozer wasn’t easy, nor was it fun. Venkman taunting said cursed spirit. After Ray accidentally summoned a huge Stay Puft you stood beside him and fought bravely. With Stay Puft defeated and the gate closed you stood up with a groan covered in Mallow fluff. You were hugged by an equally covered Rays and you both laughed. After the two entrapped by the Keymaster and Gatekeeper you and the others headed down. You were holding Rays hand and he looked at you as people cheered.

What happened next you didn’t expect to happen at all, Ray tilted your hand up and kissed you gently. Your eyes widened before you melted into the kiss as everyone cheered, you swore you heard Venkman yell at Egon about owing him.

#ghostbusters x reader #ray stantz x reader #fluff #ghostbusters

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nayatarot777 · 2 years ago

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💗 how do you make them feel? 💗 ~ pac

• pile 1 • 🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

your person feels conflicted. they feel as though they need to be in control of themselves and what they allow themselves to think about because if they leave their mind to it’s own rulership, fears and anxieties will set in. they release these anxieties by allowing their ego to control them instead.

this person feels like they’re not good enough. like they’re not even one of your options anyway. this person could think that you’re not even attracted to their gender, so they either think that you’re gay when you’re actually bi, pan, etc. or they think that you’re straight when you’re actually not.

you guys could also be a different race or from a different culture than this person, and i feel like they’re the type of person who has either been conditioned to only seek partners within their own race/culture or that was always just an expectation of them that they were happy to fulfil.

this person could even be in a relationship of some sort, already. or in an arranged situation if they’re from a culture that participates in that (i feel like that’s for someone specific). they could even have a child already. if not then i feel like i’m picking up on the type of future that they dream of, regarding having a family. you don’t fit into that image for them though. and it’s not because they don’t want you to, it’s because of some sort of differences between you two. physically. identity wise. something about this person feeling like there’s no way that you two could make a relationship of any sort work, due to the criticism and judgement that would come from others around them about you and your differences.

i’m also seeing that they may feel as though you’re not even interested in a person like them. they feel like you’ve completely released them for some reason. like they were never that important to you. i feel like you guys didn’t even get to know each other that well, because i’m picking up on a separation. a disconnect.

this person still thinks about you, but it feels like they don’t want to. it makes them uncomfortable because the feelings that they had towards you before are still there. when they think of you, they still feel the way that they did when they could actually see you and be around you. i don’t think that this person is used to not being able to control their feelings for people. they seem very in control of themselves and a very typical, emotionally cold and distant masculine.

they haven’t been able to be their usual selves when it comes to you though. they can’t just tell themselves that you were just another person that they met because the connection that you both had was very apparent. very different for this person. if you guys are opposite genders, this person doesn’t usually connect to your gender group for anything other than superficial reasons (could be sex, money, power and influence. anything.) but with you, they felt like you guys were just naturally on the same wavelength. like you saw each other clearly and just understood each other. they don’t find that often in people who they have feelings for (surface level feelings at least). i feel like they genuinely feel like you’re a soulmate basically. i don’t think this person speaks in “soulmate” terms though, so they can’t even put it into words.

i just heard “she’s different”. switch the pronoun if you need to, but that’s what this person would say to describe what they think of you and why they feel this way. because you’re different. in a great way. i’m feeling like you were a shock to their system. are y’all aquarius/uranus/11th house dominant? 👀🤔

they’re still keeping hope alive that you’ll meet each other again. but that triggers their fear of disappointment. they might even feel goofy af for staying stuck on you for so long, but they don’t want to release the idea that meeting you again is a possibility. because that’s what they’re hoping for. at the same time though, they don’t want this to happen because what could they do if they’re so worried about the opinions of other people? they feel as though being able to see you again would be futile because they feel like they wouldn’t be able to get the outcome that they want with you anyway. the feelings for you are persistent within this person because they feel like you’re someone significant and special in their life (even if you only knew each other for a short while), but ego-wise, they’re ignoring them. this person is so conflicted. their mind without the distractions is a mess.

• pile 2 • 🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼

ngl, you guys trigger this person. but not purposefully. this person knows that the abundance and wealth that they have in the materialistic or physical sense isn’t good enough for you. i feel like this person could be a part of hustle culture, or they’re just extremely hard workers. workaholics even. they might think that physical appearance, money, and materialism were all that they needed to be wanted by anyone that they wanted, but it’s not the same with you.

i’m also seeing that this person feels ridiculed by you? again, i don’t think you’re actually doing this, but they feel as though they’re under criticism or scrutiny. you could’ve put this person in check? 👀

actually, they could be projecting right now. i feel like they could be a very insecure person, but they secure their persona and physical appearance to make themselves seem confident. you don’t give af about any of that though, so you see right through it, triggering tf out of them. you’re seeing the most vulnerable sides of them without them even lowering their guards. this person knows that you’re intuitive af. i don’t think they’d use that word, but they know that you just know shit about people 😂

you make them feel as though there’s value in them. damn. i felt a pang in my stomach as i typed that. you might’ve been able to tell that this person was seeking your attention in small ways but talked yourself out of believing it. they were. you validate them. your attention and their interactions with you both validate but scare them.

this is someone who wants to portray themselves as a big, strong, powerful, emperor type of person, but they feel the complete opposite around you. they feel powerless around you. this person might clearly be scorpionic, plutonian, or an 8th house person in nature. they could have a very intense, fixed, heavy, stable, but maybe unnerving energy to them. very intoxicating in a way? there’s something about them that just seems dark. but intriguing. yeah, they’re probably scorpionic/plutonic af. but you see through the outer shell that they navigate this world in. they have no idea how you do it, but they like it although they’re not used to it.

you also make them feel nervous when speaking. this person might feel like they don’t communicate “properly” or sound intelligent enough in general day to day conversation. they don’t usually care though (it seems on the surface anyway. this is actually quite a deep insecurity of theirs too) and it gives them a bit of anxiety when wanting to speak to you. it’s like they clam up or shut down. they might even ruminate about all of the conversations you guys have had, knit picking at everything that they think made them sound “stupid”, or at their tone of voice, etc.

i think you guys actually planted the seed of introspection into this person. they’re not often in situations where they feel “below” someone else in some way, so feeling like that around you was uncomfortable but also rewarding for them. i feel like this person is either stoic af or egotistical af but in a quiet way. the type of person to “humble brag” 😂. i really believe that you kickstarted this person’s soul searching journey by exposing a bunch of insecurities to them that they themselves never really paid attention to.

you make them want to improve and be a better person. thoroughly from the inside out. not the outside in.

you know what i’m seeing rn that sums up this person’s feelings perfectly? i’m seeing a king who gives orders and controls everything - all day, everyday. nobody can get him to do something that he doesn’t want to do, or to feel any other way about himself other than prideful.

his queen though? she keeps him in check. without even having to say anything. her presence alone makes him want to act right, but the pressure that he feels to be better in her presence also causes him to start searching for anything and everything that he needs to improve. and when he receives confirmation that he has made his queen happy/proud (she compliments him, laughs at his weak ass joke, gives him words of encouragement), he becomes happier. he feels as though his queen’s happiness is his reward for his improvement. but he still suffers from major anxiety about “failing”. so much to the point where sometimes, he has to take space away from her because he’s dug himself into a hole full of self deprecation and self criticism. some of you guys might notice that this person is hot and then cold with communication. or that they hesitate around you. aw, bless 🥺

this is so fucking cute, pile 2. your person is a secret simp for you lmaooo.

• pile 3 • 🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

the first thing that i’m hearing is “proud”. you make them feel so proud of themselves. you’ve taught them how to be self sufficient in some way and only rely on themselves for something. i feel like this has something to do with being stable within themselves enough to give up caring about other people’s judgements. you could have this type of energy. very much a mix of aquarian and piscean energy. the type of person who doesn’t care enough to try to fit in with people unless you want to, and because of that you fit in with everyone. you’re multifaceted, and this person may have felt the need to be one type of way when around others. until they met you. then you cracked their stoic, emperor-like demeanour and you influenced them to just let go of control over their self image for a few moments.

damn. i just heard that they feel like no other woman compares to you. deadass. the image on this card is a woman on her knees, crying, but being ignored by the person next to her due to them looking elsewhere. this woman feels ignored in this card. they don’t care about any other person as much as they cared about you. you’re the full package for them. specific for some of you guys: you could be black women and have short afro hair. this person thinks that you embody both masculine and feminine energy in the most divine way in your physical appearance. they also love the fact that your hair is natural and short. they like the fact that you can pull off a “masculine” hairstyle and still look divinely feminine and adorable. i just heard “infatuated”.

i feel like there may be a disconnect between you two. distance? and/or a change between them and their viewpoint on what they find attractive thanks to you. you’re the biggest “temptation” that they’ve ever met, but you’re not someone who they would’ve ever thought that they’d be this attracted to physically. but you are. you’re not their usual type. they may have thought before that they could never find someone who isn’t typically masculine or typically feminine attractive. you guys are this person’s idea of what a perfect mix between masculinity and femininity looks like and feels like. because this is even expressed through your personality.

but, back to the type. they don’t know wtf their type is anymore. not really. you have a very unique beauty. again, aquarius and neptune energy heavyyyy. i heard “fuck the type” lmaoooo. you destroyed this person’s idea of a type. damn, pile 3. you are a bad bitch. don’t fucking second guess that shit ever again in your LIFE. i don’t usually interpret readings that are centred around someone’s looks but your looks are emphasised here. you are a damn temptation to them. i’m seeing that this may be because you look like the type of person who they’d assume would be scared of them but you’re not. if anything, you’re bold af towards them at times. lightly roasting them, calling them out for something, or putting them in their place when they crossed a line switched something in their head about you. that doesn’t have to resonate but they find your attitude paired with your physical appearance intoxicating af. gworl 👀

if you’re a woman, they can tell that you’re for women. they may have seen you defend a woman on her behalf. you may have stepped into your lilith energy. but at the same time, you’re like “one of the boys” without being a pick me bitch and feeding into things that you’re not okay with. you will call men out, but again, you’re like “one of the boys”. they didn’t think that a woman could hold men accountable while not hating them at the same time 😭 your person may be quite close minded. i feel like that’s why i’m picking up on that you could’ve called them out for something. you’ve expanded their mind a lil though.

you make them feel as though they’re attracting good luck and abundance to themselves because of you. i’m literally seeing that they see you as a good luck charm. they may have realised that their life started to become way better after meeting you.

they’re very protective over you because they see you as a rare type of person. they could be quite “possessive?” naturally but they’re not the type to control you. they have a very stable self esteem around you it seems. although they do shy away or become bashful when you know the right thing to say.

they want to share their abundance with you. you’re the type of person that they literally want to spoil. you guys could have lilith in 2nd house/taurus and this person could have scorpio/8th house placements. i’m picking up on placements and synastry that indicates that they just want to give and give gifts and materialism to you. maybe this is their love language. i feel like they’re very much a materialistic person so it makes sense 😂 they really like how natural you are though. i feel like that’s the difference between you and the people that they usually go for. and your naturalism doesn’t just apply to your physical appearance. it also applies to your behaviour and attitude. you don’t force anything. you don’t try to change yourself for anyone.

there’s a longing energy that i pick up from them. again, you guys could have distance between you and you’re in separation. but this person daydreams about you a lot. they’re not anxious during this separation though because they’re convinced that they’ll meet you again. i’m hearing that they’re daydreaming of things that they (hope) they’ll say the next time they see you. they’re not stressing about this distance at all. i heard “i’ve got you already”. 👀👀👀👀 this person’s self assurance is definitely in abundance right now 😭 they’re convinced of this.

#divination #pick a card #pick a photo #pick a picture #psychic readings #tarot #pac #spirituality #tarot reading #pac reading #collective reading #psychic #choose a pile #pick an image

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happilychee · 11 months ago

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thinking about aromantic lucy

I saw a terf saying aspec people aren't actually queer so fuck them here's aromantic lucy heartfilia

cw: a few mentions of internalized arophobia

lucy who doesn't know that the word love exists until she reads it in one of the few fairytale books in her father's extensive library. lucy who doesn't quite get the kissing and the physicality and the fiery proclamations, but thinks that it's an okay price to pay for someone to be so passionate for her. to choose her and care about her, like her mother did before she passed.

lucy, who's eight years old and crying after another argument with her father, who summons aquarius and asks "do you love me?" aquarius feels her blood pressure rise, but seeing the broken look in her wielder's watery eyes, she decides to drop the snark. "I do, kid." "does that mean you wanna kiss me?" aquarius almost smacks lucy over the head.

lucy who doesn't quite understand the difference between how she cares for her spirits and how she felt about her mom. lucy who cares deeply for everyone who's important to her, who thinks that aquarius could just as easily be her knight in shining armor as the storybook prince. lucy who reads romance books because she wants someone like that in her life. lucy who's never had any friends besides aquarius. lucy who thinks it must be nice to have someone choose you, care about you, protect you. lucy decides that that's what love is.

lucy who's old enough to know she doesn't like her father. lucy who's so confused when she hates him but still cares about him. lucy who's old enough to run away from home but too young, too young.

lucy who joins fairy tail and has no idea what to expect. lucy who's startled by her new friends' openness and easy acceptance of her. lucy who blushes when natsu throws an arm around her, who feels warm and fuzzy when gray guides her by the small of her back, who has a lopsided grin on her face when erza links arms with her as they walk. lucy who suddenly thinks that she's in love with three people at once and panics (her storybooks never mentioned that!!).

lucy who turns to who she can confidently call her best friend, levy mcgarden, for help. levy sits her down with a cup of hot chocolate and cookies. they talk for hours about sexuality and attraction; lucy sleeps over that night. the word that sticks out the most in her mind is aromantic.

lucy who gets drunk at a party and gets a little too close to cana, and suddenly they're in cana's apartment, making out like there's no tomorrow. lucy who feels guilt creep up in the morning because she knows cana and gray and loke have something going, and she might've just ruined it. lucy who tears up when cana laughs because she's so, so confused. cana's expression morphs into concern and she wipes away her friend's tears, warm skin on skin. cana who tells lucy that what she does with gray and what she does with loke doesn't restrict her from what she does with other people. "we talked about it, I promise." cana reassures her. then, leaning in with a sexy smirk on her face, she whispers, "besides, they're probably jealous I took you home first~" the rush of heat is enough to make lucy's mind go blank with joy.

lucy who shyly asks cana about her relationships and learns so much she feels like her head is going to explode. lucy who has a crisis about her storybooks and her ideal romances. she's never going to have that, she realizes. it feels like someone's scooped out her chest.

lucy whose feelings ebb and flow like the tide. she's not used to this. being so... different. her storybooks are scattered across the floor, thrown in an angry fit. her door is locked, but her window isn't, and that's how natsu gets in. "you okay, luce? we haven’t seen you in a while."

the dam breaks. lucy sobs in natsu's arms, and all she can think is that this is the exact type of hurt/comfort scene she loves in her stories. she wishes she were normal, so she could love normally, so she could love natsu the normal way and be done with it. she doesn't realize she's talking out loud.

natsu cups her face, onyx eyes boring into chocolate ones. he squishes her cheeks together, the way he does when he thinks she's overthinking something. and then, natsu breaks through her entire crisis with three little words.

"does it matter?" he furrows his brow. "you're lucy, and I'm natsu, and I care about you." "but- I don't feel romantic attraction-" natsu huffs, frustrated that lucy's not getting something that's apparently obvious to him. "luce. I care about you, and I trust you, and I want to take care of you and protect you. who cares about anything else?" lucy blinks once, twice, and then she's sobbing again. natsu panics, because he knows he can be blunt and dismissive sometimes, but lucy barrels into him, clutching onto his scarf tightly.

"you care about me?" she whispers in a child's voice. that's more important to her than anything. romantic, platonic, the gray area in between, none of it matters as long as natsu cares.

natsu tightens his grip, wondering who he has to pummel for making his girl feel that way. "course I care about you, dummy. I'd burn down the world for you. and so would erza and gray and cana and everyone else."

lucy who has a really hard time moping when natsu's there every step of the way, trying to cheer her up. erza and gray show up, too, and it's hard to stay sad when she's being tickled by erza while gray cooks dinner and kicks natsu out of her kitchenette.

lucy who feels the hollow fill with something warm and gooey when erza gives her a hug, confessing that she often has trouble figuring out how she feels about anything. lucy laughs when erza tells her about the shenanigans that have happened when she doesn't pick up on someone flirting with her but gray and natsu do. she feels all fuzzy when gray leans against her, telling her that he feels the same way. his hand plays with hers, and she thinks it's nice how well they slot together.

lucy realizes when natsu falls asleep in her lap, arms wrapped protectively around her waist. lucy realizes when gray falls asleep at her side, erza tucked to his chest. lucy realizes that her friends make her feel like she's on top of the world, and she doesn't need a fairytale prince when she's got fairy tail.

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vad-hander · 3 months ago

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LET’S KEEP IT SECRET Pt.6

pairing: Jaehyun x reader x Yuta

others: SM Rookies, multiple SM and JYP idols

words: 5k

side note: as usual, I'll appreciate all your feedback and thoughts!

“I think my childhood friend haunts me in my dreams.“ You stared off into the night sky on the balcony in your dorm. The dorm that was new and fresh and oh so comfortable, with air conditioning and what felt impossible at this point - less roommates.

It was just you and one more girl in your room and you couldn’t be any happier, because she did ballet classes as additional education and 3 days a week you had your room all to yourself for additional 3 hours. Since your’s and Yeji’s schedules were literally mirrored by now, you’d often spend those additional free hours on dance- or vocal practicing. It was one of those days and the two of you walked out to breathe in fresh air after sweating yourself on a SHINee choreography.

“What?“ Yeji chuckled at the statement. It did sound a little funny, you had to admit, you did need to elaborate.

“Yeah. I get absolutely not related to anything dreams and in those, somehow, there’s the same person, and I don’t even see their face, just like deep down know who I am looking at.“ Your articulated with your hands. Thinking about those dreams made you feel funny, because they were projecting something you clearly didn’t feel. You couldn’t understand where all those feelings in your dreams came from and you couldn’t describe the feeling with any word but funny. “All those weird things happen in my dream and somehow when I wake up, and maybe while I’m dreaming too, I have this heavy feeling in my chest.“ You physically had to stop because you were starting to feel heavy once again. “Like I’m so deeply in love with them and in that dream world I know as a fact, that we’re attracted to each other and it’s like a crazy rollercoaster for us to be together, and sometimes it’s a happy ending sometimes not really. Sometimes I wake up before I can get to any logical ending.“

“Wah. Do you see correlation between dreams and what happened with you and that friend in real life?“ She smiled curiously.

“No, we don’t even talk anymore, I haven’t heard of that friend or seen them in a long ass while, but I get these dreams literally out of the blue. Even if I’d purposefully think of that person - nothing, and then randomly one day I wake up and realise what just happened. Sometimes I don’t even remember my dream for a half a day and then randomly it hits me. And I get uncomfortable thinking of it.“ You pouted and took a look at Yeji.

“It sounds a little crazy. I think I read somewhere we can see random people and things in our dreams. Not related to anything. Maybe your case is the dream isn’t related to anything. Or maybe your friend think of you and somehow call for you in dreams?“ She chuckled, trying to sound spooky or whatever.

“Well I feel like I’m being haunted.“ You admitted. You hated waking up everyday and thinking of Jaehyun.

“Maybe you had those feelings for your friend back when you were friends?“ Feelings? For Jaehyun? Yeah, no. You almost said it out loud how ridicules the thought seemed to you.

“I don’t think so. I had someone I actually liked-“ wow, this was a dangerous path, you had to be really careful with what you were saying.

“Then maybe that’s how your friend felt? Was that a boy or a girl? What if that person misses you?“

“To be fair that’s not impossible, we did lose contact in a weird way, but he for sure isn’t thinking of me like that. There has never been even a hint on his side.“

“Why does it bother you?“ Yeji faced you properly, curious. You didn’t even know yourself, why it bothered you so much. It just did and you felt like it was safe enough to share those feelings with the girl.

“I don’t like feeling like I’m in love with someone when I’m not.“

“It’s just dreams. It’s not like you love each other, especially if you lost contact.“ She shrugged, she wasn’t bothered by what you were feeling and saying. You wished you could relate.

“Yeah.“

“Just think of how would JYP react if he heard this.“ Yeji giggled, imagining your producers’ reaction. He had a specifically wild reactions to anything relationship related.

“I don’t want to imagine this. He’d most likely disown me in a second.“

“He’d literally flip out, and we wouldn’t want that. We both know what your real goal is. Don’t even think about it like that.“

“You’re right.“ You two paused, both in your own world. “Ugh, now whenever I get these dreams I feel like our producer’s going to pop out and scold me.“ You giggled, followed by Yeji.

“Do you have this friends’ phone number? Maybe you should reach out and ask how he’s doing. Then you’ll understand these dreams are fictional, and could continue on with your life.“

“Wah-no, I wouldn’t call him. Nor text or even breathe his way.“ You panicked immediately.

“Why?“ Well because it’s been a little under a year since your graduation and you haven’t seen him since then. Like, at all, and TV didn’t count. You were just ignoring his endless wish to continue your friendship and it hasn’t been too long since he finally gave in. You wanted Jaehyun to realise you grew apart, you wanted him to realise childhood friends go sometimes and you were two friends that took different paths. End of story. It doesn’t matter that you didn’t want to part ways, it doesn’t matter there was not even a reason for you part ways. You just felt so tired of this constant comparison from Yuta, and even worse in your brain sometimes of your boyfriend and friend. You had to let go of one, to make the other one, and more importantly YOU, make feel better. And you knew, that letting go of your boyfriend wasn’t the right thing to do.

“We’re not friends anymore. I hate that sort of thing, popping out of nowhere when it’s unneeded.“

“Yuta?“ You chirped into the phone excitedly, you just got the news and first thing you did walking out the building - dialled his phone number.

“Yes, love, what’s up?“ He cleared his voice in what seemed to be confusion, like he just woke up or something.

“What date you said you’re going to be in LA?“ You started from afar, clearly excited and clearly having difficulties keeping yourself at bay.

“Ugh, I don’t remember. Wait a minute I’ll check our schedule. Why? Anything happen on those dates?“ you waited patiently for his confirmation, before you could tell him anything. “October 4th to 9th, why?“ Your breath hitched, you were too close to miss out on him.

“I’m going to LA.“

“Huh?"

“With a few other girls, we’re going there to train for a couple of weeks before returning home for a final debuting decision. We’re coming on 6th. This is our first trip together just you and me kind of chance.“

“Baby, that’s awesome- Your debut-“ Yuta gasped and seemed much more lively than before. It was so sweet, that he was excited for you.

“No, don’t say anything like about my debut before it’s set. I only care about both of us being in LA at the same time.“

“Okay.“

“I’ll look up things we could do.“

“Okay“

“I love you.“ You whispered under your breath excited. “This is going to be so good.“

“We’re attending some award on 8th and leave early on 9th, but other than that, I’m all yours.“

“Just one night?“ You were hoping for more, how did it come short to just one night, you pouted to yourself.

“I’m still excited even for one night. Love you, need to go.“

You didn’t just walk back home, you flew on hope and excitement and much more and you were buzzed and you went on with that buzz for the upcoming week, looking up things in LA, marking up places in Notes you could possibly visit, choosing options in case Yuta wouldn’t like your TOP-choice. You couldn’t think of what followed after that trip, you couldn’t think of the final decision on debut. You busied yourself like crazy, because it was pleasures being busy planning your date with Yuta and because it only felt right to focus on this. During practice breaks your brain still wandered to the main issue - it was you and 7 other girls, you all worked hard, you were all honestly worth the debut, but no one gave you even a single hint on the number of people in the final line up. You all just saw those papers saying Q1 2019 debut of a girl group and prayed you were part of it. It was supposed to make you feel better - less pressure to show off you skills, but honestly - everyone were on verge of breaking down.You only held yourself together because you went through this once already.

You worked hard to erase previous memories, but you were scared. They still called you their backbone, secret weapon, main event and secret trainee, still told you were the centre of the planned group, but you won’t be able to crawl out of one more mental breakdown if things go south, you won’t be able to recover if this ends up as a fail too.

Finally It came down to the packing day and right after that it finally came to the trip day. You got into the van and off to Incheon. None of you was sure if it was planned or a surprise for everyone - there were a few people with cameras at the Gate 2 entrance. All 8 of you panicked, you didn’t even understand what happened at first, looking around for some celebrity behind you, when the flash started to blind your little group. It took you a little time realising the cameras were pointed at you, you watched Yeji grab onto her face hidden behind the face mask and did the same in panic, lowering your head so the visor of your cap hid your eyes. You were just a bunch of girls that had a very questionable amount of supporters due to pre-debut activities, but mostly it was so low key you couldn’t even imagine someone gathering up to see you at the airport. Or more like, spending money on getting such information. The staffs gestured for you to move quickly and you trailed behind your manager like baby ducklings, finally escaping the following in the boarding area. Despite the shock, it somehow made the mood of everyone so light and positive. Neither of you could believe it was real - that people wanted to see you, you couldn’t stop daydreaming what would it be like leaving for schedules as a group, boarding in business, and not in economy like you had to now.

You arrived at LAX safely and most importantly - calmly, getting into another van and transferring to what surprised you - a house. You weren’t used to this lifestyle, you all grew up in apartments, staying in a big mansion in the middle of the 2-story America made all of you excited.

“Wait, how many rooms is in this building?“ Lily wondered.

“Definitely more than in our previous dorm.“ Somi laughed and ran through the corridor.

“Okay, listen up.“ The older manager clapped her hands. “There’s 6 rooms, since we have staffs on this trip, some of you need to stay in a room together.“ You and Yeji immediately grabbed each others hands. “There’s a 3-people room and a 2-people room mostly.“ Your fingers automatically grabbed Ryujin’s shoulder, forcing the girl to stand with you two, poor girl almost tripped over the bag behind her.

“We can share a room.“ Yeji announced what you implied and you nodded your heads in unison, Ryujin happily agreeing.

“Okay, go make yourself at home. Three weeks of hard work are upcoming. We have time to go out to the city today, so be ready to leave at 6.“

The three of you trailed off excitedly into your room.

[17:02] to Yuta<3: <Location shared>

[17:02] to Yuta<3: I’m in the city!!!

[17:02] to Yuta<3: We’re staying in a cool west la house

[17:03] to Yuta<3: Wby?

[17:04] from Yuta<3: Ironically, koreatown

[17:04] to Yuta<3: kkkkkk

[17:05] from Yuta<3: I was thinking if we could see each other tonight?

[17:06] to Yuta<3: How do we make it work?

[17:07] to Yuta<3: We’re going somewhere for dinner, I don’t think they’ll let me disappear on my own like that.

[17:10] from Yuta<3: Send me your location when you’ll arrive

[17:14] from Yuta<3: We’ll see what’s possible

[17:14] from Yuta<3: Love you

[17:14] to Yuta<3:I love you

Now, despite the jet lag you wanted to look presentable, you wanted to always do your best when it came to Yuta. You quickly unlocked your suitcase, searching for a dress you packed just in case in 10s of training pants and shirts. You took a shower to feel fresh and packed a purse with necessities, earphones, tissues, a mirror, you found your passport, opening it just in case - your eyes darted towards its cover, where you always carried things like sim-cards, tickets, anything, to be fair, that fit. You pulled on a piece of paper and felt a lump in your throat.

It was you and Jaehyun on your graduation day - his whiskers on display, just like you’d hoped they would. You didn’t need to look at the second piece of paper, it was the second photo of you staring at Jaehyun. You printed those to gift him back at the start of last year, but then everything changed and you just put them away and forgot they existed. You felt a little pinch on your heart and put the photos away back into the passport cover, pulling the one under outside and on top of the other.. You won’t have a chance to give him those anyway. You put your passport in the bag as well and was ready to leave. Finally both Yeji and Ryujin were done and you left the room at 5 minutes to 6, teasing collectively the manager that was late by 2 minutes.

As you promised, the moment you stepped foot in the restaurant, you sent Yuta the location. You were starving, deciding on eating first - walking later. You were just trainees, you didn’t have real money to dine at restaurants, so everything was company paid. You couldn’t stop talking between each other that company paying for a fancy dinner with meat and dessert MUST mean something. It just must.

You were moving to dessert, when your phone ringed and you felt hot. You were so busy yapping with the girls and eating good food you forgot completely that you sent Yuta the address.

[19:14] from Yuta<3:Come outside, will you?

Your legs moved faster than your tongue was able to tell everyone you left for the bathroom. You didn’t walk - you sprinted out to the street, your eyes immediately catching Yuta’s faded pinkish hair, you wheezed and a few people turned their heads at the crazy sound you made, taking off in his direction. Your arms immediately weaved around Yuta’s neck, you felt his palms encourage your legs to jump-hug him and you did so just how he wanted it.

“Yuta.“ you breathed, your mouth clasping onto his before he could even say a word. “I missed you.“

“Hi baby.“ He smiled, satisfied that his surprise worked, that you were happy, that he was seeing you in real flesh.

“What are you doing here?“ Your feet met with the ground once again, but you couldn’t unglue yourself from Yuta. “Girls and management are all inside. I can’t be here for too long.“

“I know, I just couldn’t go to sleep knowing we’re in the same city and not see you.“ You kissed him once again, immediately inviting his tongue to dance in unison with yours. You didn’t have time and you needed to drink up all of Yuta in this short time. It’s been a little too long since your last hourly motel-date and you needed more of him at all costs.

“I can’t let go of you now.“ You whined in his mouth. “Can you take me somewhere with only you and me?“

“Mmh.“ Yuta’s fingers squeezed your side. “I will, I promise.“ Yuta pressed his body more against yours, you mewled, you didn’t want to move. You loved him so fucking much. “Do you have your phone? Or anything?“

“No, why?“

“Come inside and bring your things.“

“I can’t leave.“ You protested weakly into his ear.

“I know, love, but can you?“

“I can’t promise I’ll return because this is going to be suspicious, but okay.“ You nodded and felt Yuta’s lips on yours, before he pushed you back to the restaurants entrance.

“Baby?“ You turned around at the call “You look fucking beautiful.“ you beamed, biting on your cheeks and lips to calm yourself down before returning to the table.

“Are you okay?“ Yeji asked concerned.

“Yes, just need my bag, a little something happened.“ You made your eyes wider and giggled and left before more questions could pop out. You quickly returned to the spot where you left Yuta, he smirked teasingly and kissed you once again, like he didn’t see you just a minute ago.

“Can you give me your passport?“

“Yeah, hold up.“ You chuckled at the question, whatever he needed it for. You found the needed paper and handed it to Yuta. His fingers moved to the cover, looking for something in there.

“Where’s your ID? Isn’t it usually here?“ he chuckled and pulled on the pieces of paper that replaced your ID because you switched them in place just a couple of hours ago on accident.

“On the other side.“ You chuckled, and gestured for him to look on the other side of the cover. Yuta let go of the papers and moved his attention and you didn’t even realise before that you were holding your breath. You watched Yuta fish his phone out and take a pic of it. “Why?“ you smiled confused.

“Will tell you later.“ Yuta beamed, you wanted to kiss him, but your phone rang and you moved your attention to the screen.

“Hi, dad!“ You exclaimed excitedly and turned away from Yuta still holding on to your passport. If you turned back around just a moment earlier, you would’ve caught a glance of him pushing back the photos into the cover. “Yes, we’re in LA already. I forgot to call you, I’m sorry, we’re in the city having a dinner. I’ll send you pics.“ You smiled at your dad’s reply. Yuta smiled in return as he watched you speak, closing the distance, Yuta returned your passport to you, mouthing ‘I have to go’ and kissing your cheek before you could protest. He walked off so quickly and your dad called for you on the line and you could only focus on one thing so you just continued the conversation. “No, dad, it’s fine. The dinner is on company, I don’t need money.“ You smiled into the phone.

“Y/n, is everything okay?“ You heard the manager’s voice behind you, jumping in place.

“Dad, wait. Ugh, yeah, my father called, I came outside to hear him better, I’m sorry.“ It was SO on time that Yuta left, you wanted to give a big breath out but couldn’t give yourself away.

“Okay, but dessert is served, come back quickly.“

“Sure.“ You nodded and finished the conversation with your dad.

[19:14] from Jeong Jaehyun: hi, boo

[19:14] from Jeong Jaehyun: I heard you are in LA too

[19:14] from Jeong Jaehyun: First of all, I’m so happy for you and this opportunity

[19:15] from Jeong Jaehyun: Second… I was just hoping you’d want to see me? I miss you a lot.

Hundreds of electric shock waves ran through your body, you couldn’t even hear Somi calling for you to complete the formation.

“Y/n?“ Yeji was able to bring you back to life, and you looked at her like dear in headlights. “Everything’s good?“

“Ah, yes, yes.“ You jumped up from the floor, dropping the phone back on the floor and focused yourself on the dance. You didn’t think you could do the new steps so clearly, your body moving like you had all the energy in the world, all thanks to Jaehyun.

“Good, Y/n! Such clean steps!“ The choreographer exclaimed proudly as you did your centre part neatly. The music stopped and you had no escape to not reply to Jaehyun. It was always like this pangs of conscience hitting you hard if you didn’t immediately reply to him, and it was a whole damn asphyxiation of conscience when you didn’t reply of him at all.

“Thank you.“ You bowed, smiled and clapped with the rest of the girl, sitting down right next to your phone

[19:55] from Jeong Jaehyun: Please at least let me know what I did wrong

[19:55] from Jeong Jaehyun: I feel so bad even though I don’t know what’s wrong

[19:55] to Jeong Jaehyun: Hi, Jaehyun

[19:55] to Jeong Jaehyun: I am in LA, I could only wonder who you could’ve heard this from ;)

[19:56] to Jeong Jaehyun: I heard from the same source that ya’ll are busy up to the day you’re leaving, so I’m not sure its possible

[19:57] from Jeong Jaehyun: hi

[19:57] from Jeong Jaehyun: I’m free tonight, or after the award, or before we fly back home

[19:58] to Jeong Jaehyun: Well, I’m busy tonight, maybe tomorrow, I’m not sure

[19:58] to Jeong Jaehyun: I could tell you later

You really wanted to type him a no, but somehow your fingers weren’t moving in the needed direction of the letters, so you ended up with giving him hope.

[19:59] from Jeong Jaehyun: Busy with Yuta, right?

[19:59] to Jeong Jaehyun: Yes, why?

[20:00] from Jeong Jaehyun: He said he’s got a terrible headache and won’t be able to see you tonight, that’s why he told me you’re in LA

[20:00] from Jeong Jaehyun: So we’d keep each other company

You didn’t even bother to reply to Jaehyun, you didn’t bother to walk out the dance class, you dialled Yuta’s phone immediately, somehow being met with a turned off phone.

[20:01] to Jeong Jaehyun: Can you ask him to call me? He didn’t say anything about it

[20:01] to Jeong Jaehyun: His phone is off

[20:01] from Jeong Jaehyun: He told me he’s going to just sleep

[20:02] from Jeong Jaehyun: He felt very sick earlier

[20:02] from Jeong Jaehyun: Maybe food poisoning

[20:03] to Jeong Jaehyun: Are you pranking me?

[20:04] from Jeong Jaehyun: No, I’m honest

[20:04] from Jeong Jaehyun: He didn’t feel good since the morning and then just told me about you and got to his room to sleep

You dialled his phone once again, to no avail, messages, obviously didn’t come through. You felt so heartbroken, tricked maybe, just hurt. You were going though multiple things in your head at once. He didn’t even text you he felt sick, it wasn’t that difficult to type I’m sick, or anything else. He had enough strength to talk to Jaehyun anyway. You needed to hear this from Yuta.

You had a perfectly planned escape - Yeji would cover for you in case anything happens, bless her heart she didn’t even ask where you wanted to go and why. You had another 30 minutes to come back home, wash up and bring yourself to the designated place. Yuta had up his sleeve a whole day of being sick and didn’t message you even once.

[20:05] to Jeong Jaehyun: okay

[20:05] from Jeong Jaehyun: okay let’s see each other or okay about Yuta?

[20:05] to Jeong Jaehyun: everything

[20:05] to Jeong Jaehyun: we’re in west LA, if you want to, come here.

[20:06] from Jeong Jaehyun: Just tell me what time

You looked at the clock again: 8pm, it would be not earlier than 9 when you’d be able to see him.

[20:08] to Jeong Jaehyun: no actually

[20:08] to Jeong Jaehyun: A few of my friends & I really wanted to see the ocean so I think we’re going there

[20:08] to Jeong Jaehyun: You could come to Santa Monica

[20:08] to Jeong Jaehyun: I think it’s better you come with someone

[20:09] from Jeong Jaehyun: what time?

You felt so uneasy, why was he agreeing to everything. If you’d tell him you were in San Diego, would he just asked you for the time too? You wanted to make it late so he’d back off. You were so upset about Yuta, you couldn’t even bother to care about Jaehyun’s suggestions or questions.

[20:09] to Jeong Jaehyun: 10 pm central entrance to the beach

[20:10] to Jeong Jaehyun: c ya

"Who you’re texting with that face expression?" Yeji giggled and bumped shoulders with you.

“What face?" Annoyed, angry, mad?

“I don’t know, just full of emotions.“ she smiled. You watched people walk around the room, in a formation that didn’t include neither Yeji or you, when the music blasted in your ears, you answered.

“Remember I was under SM for a little while?“

“Of course, few years, not a little while.“

“Yeah, like that. Well, somehow, some of the people I’ve trained with are in LA too.“

“Okay?“

“They’re asking to see me, I said me and my friends wanted to go to Santa Monica, so they’re coming to Santa Monica around 10 pm, so we have to be there around 10 pm.“ Yeji exclaimed excited. “Yeah, but how are we going to go this late somewhere alone.“

“I’ll just ask.“ Yeji shrugged and got up quickly to your manager, you really wanted to stop her before she could start talking, but she batted her eyelashes and in a moment you saw the manager give her a nod and Yeji happily ran back to you. “It’s fine.“

“H-how?“

“She said it’s near our stay and we’re adults, just to come back so we’re okay for tomorrows practice.“

“Crazy.“ You opened your mouth.

You stood next to the stairs that would take you to the beach, arriving a little earlier than planned. The three of you felt a little uncomfortable as a homeless man walked across the street and gave you looks you couldn’t distinguish. You invited Ryujin too, because leaving her in the room alone felt like crime.

“Oh, by the way.“ You cleared your voice and the homeless man stared at you with wide eyes, probably confused with the language you spoke. “I didn’t specify the friends that are coming.“

“Yeah, is it some girls that didn’t debut yet? Or is it Red Velvet?“ Yeji exclaimed excited at the thought.

“Ugh, no.“ you giggled. “Have you heard of NCT?“

“NCT?“ Ryujin repeated louder than you said it.

“Yeah, the friend that reached is an NCT member. I don’t know who he’ll bring with him, but please don’t flip out or anything. I promise you they’re all losers and being active idols isn’t making them any special.“

“What’s up, ladies?“ Johnny said loudly in English as he and the boys turned the corner that took to you.

“Oh my god.“ both Yeji and Ryujin gasped. You almost did too, Jaehyun brought Johnny and Haechan, they were getting closer to you, walking in age order. Jaehyun, wow, you had to look away because you kind of was staring at your best friend and it wasn’t a good thing.

“Hi.“ You smiled “This is Yeji and Ryujin, we’re training together. This is Hyuck, Johnny and Jaehyun.“

“We know.“ Both girls smiled like fools and you really regretted bringing anyone but yourself.

“Hi, nice to meet you.“ Jaehyun beamed politely, his dimples popping out and face turning into that soft grin as his eyes focused on you. “Hi, boo.“ He said loud enough for everyone to hear and make you a little embarrassed, only to make your face bright red colour when he decided to lean in and hug you, not forgetting to comment on your appearance. “You look very pretty, just as usual.“ His fingers patted your upper back and you lost balance.

“Ah! Five seconds in and they’re already on their soulmate shit!“ Haechan exclaimed loudly and gestured for everyone to walk away. Surprisingly they did just that and Jaehyun let go of you a moment later.

“Y/n never mentioned before she was this close to NCT!“ Ryujin pointed her hand towards Jaehyun, as they were darting away from you

“We’re not that close.“ You denied, obviously, hoping they’re still able to hear you.

“Yeah, sure. You’re only didn’t come out from the same womb. As for everything else-“ Haechan teased back, obviously, it wasn’t his style to agree to anything anybody said.

“You don’t look like a baby anymore.“ Jaehyun smiled, taking your attention and not letting you hear what Haechan had to say.

“And you still do.“ You cracked a smile, making Jaehyun giggle. “Is Yuta okay? He still haven’t messaged me.“ your main concern was still pretty clear, you were confused as hell with the way your boyfriend vanished. It was supposed to be you and him, not you, Jaehyun and other 4 people.

“He’s probably still sleeping.“

“Okay.“ You tried to hold back from looking down and giving away that you were upset but clearly failed, because Jaehyun’s fingers gripped onto yours in support. It felt so unusual, his warm long fingers on yours, a gesture that was with you all along your friendship. You’d grip onto each others fingers when you were upset, excited, happy, you used to just squeez his digits between yours and everything felt better. But now the heat that he was exceeding surprised you, its like you never experienced it in that way.

“Boo, I’m so sorry, I know I wasn’t exactly who you wanted to see tonight.“ Jaehyun wasn’t a fool, it was clear he knew who this evening was booked for prior to him.

“Don’t be ridiculous.“ You had to wave him off. Admitting he was right probably was too cruel even for someone that tried to make their friend dislike them. You wanted him to no t be interested in being your friend, not hate your guts. “I’m so happy to see you, I wish sometimes we still had each other like we used to.“ You admitted stupidly on a first breath, and wrapped your hands around his waist for a real hug, tucking your face in his chest. Jaehyun wrapped both your shoulders in his usual manner, patting your head lovingly.

“Well, you failed to push me away. I’m still here and only one call away, always. Like I promised you on your last day at SM.“

“That I really hate you for.“ You murmured more to yourself, then him, hoping he wasn’t able to hear you.

“Will you two move, or you’re having a date now?“ Johnny shouted teasingly from a far. Only now did you noticed the two of you two really lagged behind.

You parted from Jaehyun, taking the stairs to catch up with the rest of the people, Jaehyun trailing behind you, his fingers wrapping around yours in uncanny manner, like he needed to hold on to you to keep up with your pace and you let him.

I'm so excited for next Monday's chapter !!! ☺️

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kesujo · 4 months ago

Text

Opposites Attract

“Tiff?”

A smile befell said woman’s face when she felt a thin pair of arms encircle her waist.

“Jess?”

Jessica planted her head on the smiling woman’s shoulder, enjoying the softness of Tiffany’s hair on her cheek and the smooth texture of Tiffany’s stomach on her hands, her midriff exposed by her choice of top.

“Let’s not go to that party,” the slightly shorter woman suggested, planting a kiss directly underneath to Tiffany’s ear. A musical giggle emitted from Tiffany’s lips, jumping slightly at the ticklish sensation. “Let’s just stay at home and watch a movie and cuddle.”

“I already promised Taeyeon we’d go though,” Tiffany reminded the pouting woman, locking eyes with her through the giant bathroom mirror in front of them. “Plus, it’s going to be fun! I heard there’s going to be drinking games.”

“Mmm,” Jessica hummed, leaning further into the woman trapped inside her arms, “You look so good, Tiff.”

“Hm?” The recipient of the compliment, although commonly the recipient of such words, found herself fighting back a blush nonetheless. “Where’d that come from?”

Hearing her girlfriend laugh nervously as she normally did when flustered, Jessica smiled. “I haven’t seen you wear this top before. Did you buy it for this party?”

“Mhm.”

“Green looks great on you.”

“Tha—”

“Your abs look so sexy, and it makes your boobs look amazing, too.”

This time, Tiffany couldn’t hide the redness now overtaking her face. “O-Oh, does it?”

Jessica nodded, continuing to watch Tiffany put the final touches on her makeup. “I don’t want everyone else noticing how sexy my girlfriend is.”

“…So, are you saying that other outfits don’t make me look sexy?”

Jessica’s facial expression morphed into a conflicted frown. “Well, no…”

“So, no matter what I would wear, everyone would be able to see how sexy I am, right?”

Defeated by the now smugly smiling woman’s superior logic, Jessica conceded, “Yeah, you’re right.”

“So it’s no problem if I go to the party wearing this, right?”

“…I guess not…”

The hands around her waist were pulled off and the previously trapped woman turned around to face the defeated expression of her girlfriend. “Come on, the party’s going to be fun! I promise! And if you don’t think so, we can just leave early. OK?”

Jessica nodded, albeit more as a gesture of acceptance rather than the one of excitement Tiffany was hoping for. Seeing it, Tiffany sighed, opening her mouth to add something else, not believing she was actually saying what she was about to say. “There’s gonna be a lot of people there you can tease me in front of.”

As expected, that perked Jessica’s attention, her dreary eyes gaining an excited focus and her lips curling back into a smile. “Oh!”

Tiffany half wondered why she subjected herself to this but was quickly reminded upon seeing Jessica’s freshly excited expression. Damn, was she absolutely whipped for this cutie. “Shall we go?”

“Let’s walk.” When Tiffany gave her a strange expression, one that clearly asked who-are-you-and-what-have-you-done-with-my-Jessica, she elaborated. “The weather’s nice.” And although Jessica didn’t include her secret other reason, that she wanted to spend more alone time with Tiffany, the acquiescing woman understood it to be the case all the same.

“Do you want me to carry that?”

After departing, Tiffany made sure to bring along a bag she had prepared days before: a birthday present for Taeyeon, a few scented candles Tiffany thought she would like. “It’s ok, I don’t want my girlfriend-who-hates-any-physical-activity-but-is-somehow-an-amazing-dancer to run out of energy before we even arrive.”

The smile on Jessica’s face provided a contrast to her childish, defiant gesture of sticking her tongue out at the accusatory woman. “I wouldn’t have had to waste all that time and energy if you hadn’t told me you liked guys who were great dancers back in middle school.”

“But you look so sexy when you’re dancing, so it’s a win-win, isn’t it?”

Hearing that again perked Jessica’s attention. “Oh … do I really?”

Tiffany laughed. “This isn’t the first time I’ve told you this—heck, this probably isn’t even the hundredth time I’ve told you this. What are you acting so surprised about?” Jessica didn’t reply, instead humming happily with a smile on her face and a pep to her step, swinging their arms connected via their interlocked hands with more gusto. Tiffany couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re so easy to please.”

“Hey, don’t say that! It’s just that you’re great at pleasing me!”

Tiffany’s eyes widened, immediately noticing the innuendo in her sentence, erasing the surprise in her face when she noticed her girlfriend completely oblivious to it. How ironic was it that Jessica was usually the one making dirty, teasing remarks but Tiffany was the one with the dirtier mind? But it was something that Tiffany loved about her innocent significant other: it just went to show that it was Tiffany herself that brought out Jessica’s perverted side. On the other hand, because she did have those thoughts, what did it say about herself?

No, it didn’t necessarily say anything. Plus, she rarely had those kinds of thoughts with anyone else.

“Why are you shaking your head?”

“Hm? Oh! Nothing, I was just thinking about something.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Are you sure?”

Tiffany nodded, and although Jessica was curious, she left it at that. The walk itself was twenty or so minutes, but despite taking a bit longer to get there than intended, the couple were still amongst the first to arrive.

“Oh, it’s JeTi! Come in!”

Sunny stepped aside, ushering the two in. “You’re like the third and fourth people to arrive.”

“Really? Wow, I guess walking really was worth it,” Tiffany chirped, dropping off her shoes at the entry and pulling Jessica further into the residence.

“Oh, did you guys walk?” Hyeri was the next to appear, a barely touched bottle of alcohol in her hand. It seemed like the bottle was put into her hands against her wishes—probably by Sunny—and she carried around more out of courtesy than a desire to drink. “Good thing, because did you see the parking lot? There’s barely any more space for guests!”

“Oh really? Aren’t there supposed to be, like, twenty people showing up?”

“Yeah, I know right?” The trio wandered into the kitchen, Sunny having already scurried there before them, seeing Sooyoung sitting at the island table chatting away with Taeyeon at the stove, cooking. “That’s what you get for being so popular, Taengoo.”

“Hm?” The petite woman turned around, her eyes sparkling with joy when they landed on the newly arrived couple. “Oh! Tiffany, Jessica, hi! Welcome, so glad you could make it! I would hug you, but…” the turner in her hand helped her gesture to the apron adorning her torso, already sullied with what appeared to be a smear of some kind of sauce for meat.

“No worries, and happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday,” Jessica chimed in.

“Where should we put your gift?”

“Gift? What—oh, you didn’t have to get me a gift! Just seeing you two lovebirds—…” a pause, and then, “on second thought, it’s great compensation for all the jealousy I’m about to feel seeing you two being all lovey-dovey.” Tiffany laughed, Jessica simply smiling in response. “You can put them there,” she said, gesturing to where two presents were already situated. “And feel free to grab a drink!”

“Taeyeon, your meat!”

“Hm? My—oh, shit—! … Wait, it’s fine!”

“You call those burn marks ‘fine’?”

“It’s—…just a little! I can just carve it out!”

Sooyoung huffed. “But all that wasted food…”

The next to arrive was Yoona and Yuri, followed by the two Joohyuns that thankfully went by other names: Irene and Seohyun. As the kitchen got crowded, everyone not helping with the cooking migrated to the living room. Tiffany was lively as ever, Jessica sitting by her side being as quiet as ever. She was following the conversation but just didn’t have anything to add; even when she did, she couldn’t bring herself to interject when someone else was speaking or was afraid she might cut someone else off if she began prematurely. So instead, Jessica marveled at her girlfriend’s ability to slip into social situations so seamlessly and found herself mostly just staring at her, moving from simply sitting next to her on the couch to wrapping her arm around Tiffany’s to pulling it to her chest to resting her head against her shoulder and tucking it in the crook of her neck after Tiffany adjusted the angle of her head to allow Jessica to do so.

With each stage of increasing intimacy, the embarrassment slowly built up until finally, Jessica’s display of affection drew the attention of everyone else.

“Look at you two, making me jealous as usual.”

“O-Oh, really?” Tiffany laughed nervously, the embarrassment finally showing as a pink hue adorning the tips of her ears. Her head turned towards the girl leaning on her shoulder only to find Jessica’s brown orbs centimeters from her face staring right back. The proximity of Jessica’s face to Tiffany caused her face to erupt in a fit of pink, fighting the urge to jump in response but unable to help the meek, surprised squeal that escaped her lips.

The response brought a smile to Jessica’s face, her arms circling around her girlfriend’s slim waist and pulling her closer. “Why’s your face so red? Are you embarrassed of me?”

“I—no—it’s that—I’m not—you’re—I mean—” Jessica was pretty much the only person in the world that could bring Tiffany to this state, of being completely unable to speak, and the quieter woman loved that. It was like she had a superpower no one else possessed, not to mention how adorable and entertaining it was to watch her stammer so helplessly.

Jessica pulled her lips into a very pointed frown. “Are you ashamed to show our love for each other in front of others? Don’t you love me?”

“You—You know it’s not that!”

Jessica could hear the giggles coming from the others in the room, and that only fueled the fire in her. “Prove it.”

“Wha—How?”

Jessica’s right hand moved away from Tiffany’s waist and to her own face, tapping her slightly puckered lips. “Kiss me.”

The suggestion again sent Tiffany into a flurry of redness and embarrassment, Jessica biting back the giddy grin that was fighting so hard to leak past her pouty visage. “R-Right here? Now?” With a simple nod as confirmation, Tiffany started panicking. She really did love Jessica, but one thing about her Tiffany could never keep up with was her willingness to be intimate in public. She wasn’t even sure where this came from; even when surrounded by people she had known for a long time, such as now, Jessica was usually quite reserved. That is, when it came to speaking. Why, then, did she so easily demanded kisses in front of the same crowd she often was too reserved to speak with?

And moreover, why was she always so easy to tease? How had she not already gotten used to Jessica’s antics?

Without deliberating much more on those topics, Tiffany quickly closed the distance and gave Jessica a peck on her waiting, pink lips. A surge of squeals erupted from the crowd watching them, only causing the red hue on Tiffany’s face to turn redder, the pout of Jessica’s lips now replaced with a content smile. “This was your idea,” Jessica mouthed to her, Tiffany having no choice but to nod in acknowledgement.

Yoona, who had been helping with the cooking, wandered in shortly after. “What’s happening here? Why’s everyone making so much noise?”

“JeTi’s just being their usual adorable selves,” answered Yeri.

“Aah, I see.” Jessica smiled, her right hand returning to Tiffany’s waist but her head with some distance from Tiffany’s shoulders.

“Do you guys need any help with the cooking?”

“We’re almost done, you go back to cuddling with your Tiffany and making everyone else in this room jealous.”

“Yes ma’am,” Jessica answered, playfully saluting her. Yoona giggled at the response, whisking off back into the kitchen, conversation in the living room shortly afterwards picking back up.

However, this time, Tiffany didn’t join. “Since when did you get so close to Yoona?”

Hearing the poorly masked jealous inquiry made Jessica break out into a wide grin. “Aww, are you jealous?” she cooed, reaching up to pinch Tiffany’s cheeks.

“No, I—” Tiffany recoiled, escaping Jessica’s fingers, before finishing her sentence, “—I was just saying, because that was like the first thing you said since arriving here other than ‘Happy Birthday’ to Taeyeon.”

“Don’t you worry, I love you much more than Yoona.”

“…but you still love her?”

“Well, whose waist do I have my arms wrapped around right now?”

Tiffany huffed, defeated. “Don’t call other women ‘ma’am’. You’re only allowed to call me that.”

“Yes, mommy.”

Again, Tiffany’s face exploded in a fit of red. “I—I said ‘ma’am’, not ‘mommy’!”

The advantages of having a loud voice: people could hear her easily, it suited her extroverted nature well, and it was always easy to identify her as well as to find other people in a crowd.

The disadvantages of having a loud voice: people stared daggers at her in quieter places like libraries, and whenever Tiffany was having embarrassed outbursts, she often times couldn’t control the fact that her voice pierced the room she was in.

What followed was a brief moment of silence and confusion, then an explosion of laughter.

“What are you two even talking about?”

“N-Nothing!”

“Tiffany was just saying—” before Jessica could say anything incriminating, the embarrassed girlfriend of the speaker interrupted the sentence with a hand to the mouth.

“It’s-It’s private!”

“Oh, I’m sure it is.”

“No, I—I’m not even going to say anything.” Jessica joined everyone else in laughter, her hands moving up and wrapping around the sulking girl’s shoulders, allowing the flustered girlfriend to hide her face in Jessica’s chest. “Jess, help, they’re bullying me…”

“You brought this on yourself, Tiff.”

In a split second, Tiffany withdrew her head and looked up at her significant other, bewildered. “This was because you said—you said that thing!”

Seeing Tiffany pout and sulk, Jessica could do nothing but completely melt. “Aw, you’re right, I’m so sorry,” she cooed back in reply, tenderly placing a peck on Tiffany’s pouty lips. And although Tiffany felt the tips of her ears burn a little brighter in embarrassment, a content smile befell her face, tucking her head back into Jessica’s chest and cuddling up to her closer.

A chorus of ‘aw’s filled the room.

“They’re soo cuute~”

“I’m so jealous…”

“It’s like they have reverse personalities when they’re with each other.”

“I know, I would’ve never expected Tiffany to be so meek around Jessica if I hadn’t known them for so long.”

“Even as someone who has known them for so long, it’s still a little surprising sometimes.”

“You guys are making wish I had a boyfriend…”

Not knowing how to respond, Jessica just smiled back, eventually deciding it was ok for her to stay silent since Tiffany also didn’t respond. By the time Sunny popped back in the living room and announced that dinner was ready, there were probably two to three times as many people as there was space on both couches.

For dinner, Tiffany returned to her usual energetic self, occasionally interrupted by Jessica feeding her from their shared plate.

Observing this, Taeyeon plopped herself by Jessica’s side. “Are you her servant or something?”

“Something like that,” Jessica agreed, chuckling, “Hey, Taeyeon. Everything is delicious, by the way, I’m sorry you had to prepare all of this when we’re celebrating your birthday.”

“Oh, no! Don’t worry about it, I love seeing people enjoying my food.”

“I would say I love it, but Tiff might get jealous I’m proclaiming my love for anything or anyone but her.”

“Hey, don’t make such ridiculous claims!” Tiffany, who was acutely aware of Taeyeon seating herself next to Jessica, slipped out of the conversation she was having to pay more attention to the two women in her immediate vicinity.

“But you made such a big deal out of me not calling you—” Tiffany’s ear tips immediately broke out into a pink hue, her hand hastily reaching up to cover her mouth.

“You don’t have to tell her that!”

“Tell me what?” When the two turned to her, they were frankly disarmed by the innocent curiosity Taeyeon’s face. “I heard some commotion a while ago and Yoona came to check it out but wouldn’t tell us what it was about. Was it you two?”

“No, it—”

“Tiffany was telling me that I was the only allowed her to call her ‘mommy’.”

Taeyeon’s face similarly exploded into a pink hue, responding with a brief, “O-Oh!”

Seeing the bewildered, flustered reaction caused Jessica to laugh out loud, Tiffany interjecting, “That’s not what I said!”

“It’s ok Fany, I’m not kink-shaming you.”

“Taeyeon—see Jess? Now you got this weird idea into Taeyeon’s poor, innocent head.”

Taeyeon joined Jessica in laughter, continuing, “You two are so cute, every time I see you, I wish I had a boyfriend.”

“With how hot you are, it’s a wonder you don’t have a boyfriend.”

Taeyeon laughed, but before she could answer, Jessica chimed in. “What about me?”

Being met with Jessica’s big, round eyes peering at her, her head tilted like a puppy listening to music for the first time, Tiffany could do nothing but completely melt. “Oh! Wow, you’re a cutie, are you single?”

“I’m not, actually,” was Jessica’s reply spoken past the playful grin on her face, “But I asked about how hot I am.”

“Hot enough that I don’t care that you’re not single, why don’t you be mine?”

“Hmm…” Jessica pursed her lips, tapping the soft pink tissue with her finger before saying, “my girlfriend gets jealous easily, so I don’t know…”

“God, you two are so cute, you’re doing a really good job at making me jealous. I might need another present from you two at this rate.”

The trio shared another laugh before Taeyeon thanked them again for coming and, being the host of the party, excused herself to greet and thank some other people. Tiffany hopped into another conversation with Jessica following closely behind, people finishing their meals slowly for the next few hours, breaking out in different groups to continue to talk or play games on the Switch plugged into the apartment’s TV until Taeyeon gathered everyone into the living room.

“We’re going to start playing drinking games, so everyone make sure you have a drink!”

After some shuffling, Taeyeon proceeded to explain the game.

“The game is called ‘paranoia’. How it goes is that someone chooses a person to whisper a question to, specifically a question whose answer is a person, but only the answer is spoken out loud. Whoever wants to know what the question was takes a drink, but the answerer can decide to reveal the question or take a drink themselves. Then, the answer goes next, choosing someone else to ask a question to, and so on. So, who wants to start?”

“Well, it has to be you, right?”

The room erupted in agreement, the game starting with Taeyeon asking Sunny a question whose answer turned out to be Taeyeon herself.

“Huh? Really? Not, like, Sooyoung or something?”

“Huh? What about me?”

“Yeah! Is that so hard to believe?” Sunny asked, laughing.

“I just … I just thought, I live such a boring life, why me?”

“Wait, are you calling me boring, Taeyeon?” The room burst into laughter, Jessica smiling along while feeling the shaking laughter pass through her girlfriend’s entire body.

“I love feeling your laughter in my arms.”

The completely out-of-the-blue statement caught Tiffany off-guard, turning to look at the owner of the pair of arms wrapped around her waist with an inquisitive expression. “What?”

“Feeling your entire body shake when you’re laughing when I’m hugging you feels really comforting,” Jessica elaborated, although the explanation didn’t do much to appease her confusion.

The commotion about the game faded into the background as Tiffany tried to better understand the sudden confession, but to no avail. “What … why?”

Jessica shrugged, the smile never leaving her lips. “It just does.”

Gradually, Tiffany’s expression morphed into an amused one. “You’re weird.”

Jessica crinkled her nose at her. “No, you.”

This elicited a giggle from Tiffany, lovingly tapping the crinkled nose. “I love feeling your arms around me when I’m laughing.”

“You know what, I’m going to choose Jessica just because them being all lovey-dovey is making me annoyed.”

Hyoyeon’s sudden affirmation and the resulting laughter snapped the couple back into the room. A whispered inquiry later, Jessica pursed her lips and pondered a bit before answering. “To be honest, I’m not too sure if it’s Brenda Song or Tiffany, but definitely one of the two.”

Tiffany was already ready to down the drink to inquire about the question, but Hyoyeon’s devilish grin all but forced her to do it. However, it wasn’t that Tiffany downed the drink that caused everyone to laugh, but the speed at which she did it.

“Oh, is this jealousy?”

“…A little bit,” Tiffany admitted, causing additional laughter, “But I also want to know what I would be on the same level as Brenda Song with.”

“The question was, ‘who made you realize you were a lesbian?’”

Although Tiffany had already known this piece of information, it was the resulting chorus of coos and ‘aw’s that made Tiffany flush.

“Wow, good for you Tiff.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet!”

“O-Ok, next question! Jess, who are you directing your question towards?”

The game went on, the baton passing from Jessica to Seohyun to Seulgi to Hyuna back to Taeyeon, who directed a question to Hyeri, who in turn directed one to Sooyoung. While the couple were following along with the game with their undivided attention, it was the question Sooyoung directed to Sunny that got their attention; especially because the answer Sunny gave was Jessica.

“Oh…”

“What? Are you happy?”

Jessica couldn’t help but laugh at another one of Tiffany’s jealous outbursts. “It’s not something to necessarily be happy about, I was just surprised.”

“It definitely is something to be happy about,” Sooyoung chimed in.

“You—why’d you say that? Now Tiffany’s gonna—” before Sunny could even finish her sentence, Tiffany had already downed a shot, earning laughter from the others. “See?”

“So?”

Sunny huffed, glaring at Sooyoung one more time before answering, “The question was, ‘whose body do you envy the most?’”

The anticipation of the question put her on edge, but the actual reveal of the question rendered her stunned. Seeing the pride in Tiffany’s expression did well to appease the anxiety regarding the question, but what was left was just confusion. “My … really?”

“The fact that you can still make out your curves wearing that huge blue poncho is just a testament to how great your proportions are, and you also have really pretty legs too. I don’t think I can say more without incurring Tiffany’s wrath, so I’ll just leave it at that.”

Hearing the explanation gave Tiffany an enormous surge of pride, and more importantly, gratitude. “See? It’s not only me who thinks it, even Sunny thinks so too.”

“Ah, yeah, I see…”

That marked the first time many of the people in the room heard Jessica speak with that voice: a reluctantly accepting tone, like she was confronted with something she didn’t want to accept. They were used to Jessica being quiet, they were even used to Jessica’s teasing remarks to Tiffany, and some had even seen Jessica cry while watching movies together, but rarely did she ever speak in such a dejected manner.

“Why else? Did you have more?”

Sunny, confused, hesitantly pressed ahead. “Well … I mean, just in general, everything about Jessica’s body is just so well proportioned. While I enjoy having big boobs, I sometimes wished they were a bit smaller: about Jessica’s size, roughly. And she also has a slim waist, which makes her hips look wider and butt look better…” Sunny carefully treaded on every word she spoke, but Tiffany seemed to smile wider at every one.

“I know, right?!” she beamed, turning her attention to Jessica, who was hiding her face in embarrassment. “Oh, Jessica? Are you ok?”

The embarrassment wasn’t just from the compliments, though. “I-I’m ok, I’m sorry.” Jessica’s hands reached up only to be intercepted by Tiffany, leaning down and gently dabbing away at the tears that had coalesced and spilled over onto her girlfriend’s face.

The room fell into silence, the onlookers whispering worriedly amongst themselves. “No one thinks you’re ‘too big’ in any way. You’re perfect, just the way you are.”

Jessica nodded, burying her face against Tiffany’s chest, taking a few deep breaths, shaking the tears away from her system.

“I’m … sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up anything bad…”

“No! Thank you for saying that, I think Jessica really needed to hear that, especially because I think so many people assume Jessica knows how great her body is with how much confidence she carries about herself.”

“I-I’m fine. Thank you, Sunny. Honestly, I’m surprised Tiffany didn’t get jealous at all, but I think you still might need to be careful when you go to sleep tonight.”

“Ya—I’m not that petty!” A smile quickly formed on Jessica’s face, the rest of the room breaking out into a careful laughter.

“Says the girl who got mad at me about a girl who you thought was staring at me for too long at the gym, only to find out later that she was actually checking the availability of the machine I was using.”

“B-But, I mean, you can’t blame me! I mean, you look so hot when you’re in your gym outfit!”

“Ew, get a room!”

“Yah, who said that?”

The jovial atmosphere quickly returned to the room, Taeyeon checking in on the couple after the game lost the interest of the party’s participants. A few more drinking games were played, people only starting to go home well past midnight. As Taeyeon offered them to drive back home because of how late it was, the couple stayed a bit longer to help clean up, Sunny hopping into the passenger seat send them off as well.

After situating themselves in the car, Sunny was the first to speak. “Sorry again, Jessica. I didn’t mean to poke at a sensitive topic.”

“Oh, no no no,” Jessica replied, embarrassment for crying in front of everyone ringing at the back of her mind, “It was a bit embarrassing to be complimented like that in front of everyone, but I’m thankful that you said it. There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

Sunny’s gaze lingered on her a bit longer, the apologetic smile similarly lingering on her lips. “You really do have a great body though, probably among the best in our friend group.”

An entire list of people who she would consider to have a better body than hers appeared in Jessica’s mind, but she refrained from saying it. Part of the reason was because she knew that she wasn’t supposed to refute compliments, but also because her social battery was so drained that she felt barely able to speak. When they arrived home, Jessica headed straight for the bed and collapsed face-first on it, not even bothering covering herself with the blanket.

And although Tiffany felt bad for her, knowing how draining social events can be for her incredibly introverted girlfriend, she couldn’t help but smile. Her girlfriend really was way too adorable.

“Come on, Jess, we need to wash. At least brush your teeth before going to bed.”

“Help me then, mommy,” Jessica offered, turning around and holding her arms out like a spoiled child.

Tiffany laughed. “You’re too adorable.” She obliging her girlfriend’s request, helping her to her feet. It was mostly silent in the bathroom as the two did their nightly routine, only broken when Tiffany posed the question, “So how was today?”

“It was fun, but I’m exhausted.”

Tiffany could see it in Jessica’s eyes, too. Again, she felt bad for the introvert of a girlfriend she had, not completely able to empathize with the feeling but able to sympathize with the feeling of ‘having her social battery drained’ as Jessica so often described to her. “Let’s cuddle and watch a movie tomorrow.”

This brought a smile to Jessica’s otherwise fatigued visage. “I’d love that.”

This was from a request a while back that I found in my drafts that I slammed out in the span of a week or two, was very fun to write although, for the first time in a while, I didn’t really have a concrete plan when writing this. I had the personalities and the characters (since this was a request) decided, but otherwise not much. I had to look up some drinking games because I don’t drink often, but apart from that, didn’t really do much preparation before diving in.

In some ways, it felt nice to write more off-the-cuff (the ‘mommy’ thing was an off-the-cuff thing, as was the Jessica crying thing), but at times, especially when I felt a little stuck in the chapter, I missed the careful planning I usually do with everything I write.

ANYWAYS, enough ranting. Y’all probably didn’t come here for that xD Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed!

#jessica jung #soshi #tiffany #snsd #jeti #kpop #tiffany young #fluff #kpop fluff

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sgojoenthusiast · 25 days ago

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hi guys!! i need some help. if you read all this yap i love you.

i haven’t posted anything in a while bc i’ve been really struggling w my sexuality. this is going to come as an absolute shock if you follow me, but for the past year or so i’ve identified as a lesbian. however i am one of those lesbians who would kill for any of my pretty little princesses (my big, buff, 6’0 fictional men) and i absolutely LOVE to write fan fiction for them - which is somewhat apart of the problem.

i cant actually picture myself doing any of these things with a real life man but i also can't picture myself doing anything with a woman either. it's not that i don't like the idea i just can't physically see myself doing any of it and atp i can't really see myself in a relationship at all.

this whole thing started about a month ago, where i was introduced to another girl. the first night we met, we did stuff together (not rllt much) but i did feel a little pressured into it. the entire time i was just thinking 'when is this going to end' but not because it didn't feel good. we've been talking a lot (long distance) and she likes the same things i like (which is difficult for me to find) and she's kind and funny but i just can't seem to like her in that way. i've never liked any woman to the point where i can call it love so i feel like i can't call myself a lesbian even though i've never felt that way for a man either, but then again i don't really speak to many men outside of my family/gay friends.

i can see myself married to a woman more than i can see myself married to a man. i find men attractive and i find women attractive but i can't tell if i'm attracted to them, and seeing my lesbian friends with their girlfriends makes me so jealous because i want that i just don't know if i'm capable of feeling such strong feelings.

i've already decided that i'll talk to the girl from earlier about this once i've gathered the courage because i know it's unfair for me to string her along when i'm so unsure at the minute because clearly i'm unready for a relationship. like at one point my friend thought she was talking to another girl and if anything i just felt relieved.

on the topic of fan fiction, i know and understand that it is completely different from real life s3x & that it sets an unrealistic standard for these kinds of things which is why i love to write it. i love writing about that kind of connection and visioning a world with a love like that even if i do write it about men a lot. but when i take into account the real world and real men i'm completely uninterested and can only see that world with a woman but then i don't really ever write about women.

i love the idea of love and falling in love and i don't know what i'd do without it but then there's a part of me that thinks that i could be aroace because i can't seem to feel any of these feelings.

anyway, all this has stemmed from one girl and i can't tell if its just another failed attempt at a relationship or whether i'm not really a lesbian.

thank you for anyone taking the time to read this i appreciate it and would love for some advice. i know labels aren't important but in a community so divided as this one i feel like i need a space where i can feel more comfortable and with people like me.

#sexuality #queer community #queerness #lgbtq #queer #lgbtqia #lgbtq community #queer pride #lgbtq questions #questioning #lesbianism #bisexual #aroace #homosexual #queer questions #lgbt pride #gay

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luckyqueenreign · 1 year ago

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This season of LITG has so far been so good. I wonder what happened that forced them to push the update a week… because it’s clear this “meet the OG girls” was slapped together in the matter of hours and thrown up on the app. If you haven’t played it yet and want to know if it’s worth it….it’s not. We already know what all of the girls look like and the girls don’t really say anything new or interesting.

Here’s the gist of what all of the girls said..

Estelle: Alex isn’t the type of guy she normally goes for but she wants to try something new and she thinks he’s hot.. she can’t tell right now if just friendship vibes or more and she doesn’t wanna lock things in too early like Daphne and Raf. She thinks they come off looking forced. She loves all of the girls but Willow is her bestie… she mentioned asking alex about sharing a bed. I mean it’s a given on love island especially as an og, we’ve never asked to share a bed with someone so I thought that was weird.

Daphne: poor girl, she would benefit from some acupuncture and micellar water... I felt her reasoning for going after Cassius was actually so real. This is love island you’re supposed to explore your connections and attractions and for her to explore it with Cassius and see she didn’t feel anything I think is part of the process. What I found to be possibly the only interesting thing any of the of girls said was when she was talking about Alex she mentioned that he’s Raf’s bestie and that he would redo her kitchen cabinets but then she gets flirty and blushes and says “That’s not the only reason I like him” EXCUSE ME?!? 🤔👀 I wonder if they’re going to explore this at all or if this was just a random thing they added in to this super rushed update. I guess we’ll see.

Willow: she says she needed a break and her and Bryson aren’t really vibing. I’m sorry to the Bryson girlies but I get what she means, I kind of felt like he was a little annoying and it’s the reason why I couldn’t jump on his route 😬🫣 anywayyy Willow says she normally goes for business bros but it seems like it doesn’t matter what type of guy both types sucked, so she’s hoping for a new bombshell. Is it just me or isn’t Willow perfectly coded to have a friends to lovers type route with MC like a more new and improved Angie route??? Really hope they do bc the wlw routes def need some work. As for the other guys she thinks alex is a hottie, Joyo is gonna take her diving and eek she said it looked like Raf wasn’t that interested in Daphne before they left for casa.

Geri: I’m sorry but immediately I couldn’t focus on anything because they gave her the tiniest hands ever and it somehow makes her head also look bigger. Look at this pic of her and Daphne. Look at the hands!! The poor girls proportions are all off.

Ok ok back to what was said.. her connection to Joyo seems super physical and not much else. The things they have in common are all of the many places they’d want to bone and coffee. Basically she’s unsure of where her couple stands right before casa. She thinks Estelle and Alex are great for other people. She doesn’t seem them vibing or going very far. Daphne and Raf she thinks are vibing hard and she would be shocked if he twisted! This made me think if you’re on the Raf route she might be your enemy but on the Alex route she might be more friendly towards you. (I really hope they explore that) as everyone else has said Bryson is too much of a flirt that it’s hard to tell how he actually feels. She feels like there’s a spark missing with both Joyo and Bryson. She thinks every girl but Daphne is going to twist!! But she mentions we can’t forget history could repeat itself and Daphne could end up twisting too. It would actually be exciting if they had all of the girls twist too BUT I’m thinking that, that would mean no more bombshells for the rest of the season because we would be getting four new boys at once. I doubt they would throw more bombshells in for an already shortened season.

#litg #love island the game #litg mc #love island game #litg spoilers #litg stick or twist #litg s7

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fanfic-compass · 1 year ago

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~Doubt~

George Weasley X Fem!Reader

Summary: Since the birth of their twin kids, George and y/n's love life has been dead. Both worry that the other doesn't finf them attractive anymore.

Note: Sorry for any spelling mistakes

The last three months have been exhausting for y/n and her husband George but also so fulfilling. Y/n has given birth to their twin sons Anthony and Alastor. Redheads, of course,just like their father. Their nights were filled with crying babies, dirty diapers and a lack of sleep but they absolutely loved their children and they would do anything for them.

It's been little over a year after the Battle of Hogwarts where everyone lost friends, family members and loved ones. But now they were a real family and everything was perfect. Well, almost everything.

The love life of y/n and George was practically dead. Y/n knew that it was normal not to have sex the first weeks after giving birth but still George never even made a single move to change that now and it started to worry the young mother.

She was scared that he didn’t find her attractive anymore. She gained weight and got stretch marks which was actually normal during a pregnancy but she still believed that George didn’t like her appearance anymore.

What she didn't know was that George was struggling with himself too. And naturally he came to his best friend and twin brother Fred to talk to him about his own problem.

“I tell you, it’s been so long since we had sex…” He explained, worried.

Fred sighed. “Is this about you gaining weight again? I told you it’s sympathy weight. Nothing unusual for a guy”

“I know… but still. First I lost my ear and now I gained weight… I can't even believe she is still with me. She's crazy, there is no other explanation.”

George tried to sound funny as always but deep down he was still worried.

“Maybe we should make a potion to lose weight. We could make a lot of money with it… and I could test it on myself.”

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and y/n entered. She gave George a quick kiss, this was the only physical touch they shared, apart from loosely cuddling at night.

“The kids are asleep right now…” She told him.

Actually she came to talk to Fred but with George in the same room, she couldn’t. So they sat for a while in an awkward silence until one of the babies started crying. George stood up and walked out of the room to take care of it.

“So Freddie… I need your advice” Y/n started quickly. “I… have a little problem right now… about George…”

Fred could already guess what it was.

“Well… I think that George doesnt find me attractive anymore.”

“And why do you think that?” Fred was curious.

“Because… i gained weight during the pregnancy, i got stretchmarks and… and since the kids were born we never… got a little… closer than just a simple kiss.”

Fred laughed. For him it was like one of those comedy shows on the muggle tv that y/n once showed him. But she didn’t find it funny at all.

“Perhaps you could talk to your husband?”

“But what if he tells me that he really doesnt find me attractive anymore? What if he only stays because of the kids?”

“Come on, y/n. He has always been crazy for you. Ever since we were kids. I have an idea. How about you two go on a date tonight?”

“And the kids?”

“I will take care of them. They love their uncle Freddie. After all, I have never met someone who didn't like me.”

“Uh… Umbridge?”

“The evil toad doesn’t count. But seriously, tonight you're gonna go on a date.”

Y/n sighed but agreed. In the evening she and George were eating at a romantic restaurant and they finally had time for themselves again. They talked about things that they haven’t talked about in a long time and it felt refreshing to be together again. After their date they got back home. Fred put a note on the door, saying that the kids were in his room and that he would take care of them in the night. Then he put a little smirking smiley at the end of the note.

George and y/n went to their bedroom and got ready for bed. George sat on the bed and y/n came in with a beautiful set of lingerie on. She sat next to her husband and caressed his thigh. He, however, backed away.

“Georgie… we need to talk.” Y/n said in a serious tone.

“Yes, i think we need to talk…” George agreed.

“Do you still find me attractive?” Y/n bursted out.

“Of course. You are the sexiest woman ever.”

“Then why do you seem so uncomfortable with me touching you?”

“Because…” George sighed. “Because I am not attractive enough anymore. During your pregnancy I gained weight. And on top of that I’m still missing my ear… I just don’t want you to be repulsed by me…”

“Darling… I love you. I could never be repulsed by you. You are so sexy and handsome and attractive and… I just wish we would… have sex again. I miss the feeling.” Y/n took his hand and sat a little closer. “I just thought with my stretchmarks and my weight that you were repulsed by me.”

“You’re crazy. I love you. You are so sexy… and you look like you do because you carried our children. That’s the most beautiful thing in the world.”

“So can we… maybe… tonight…”

George cut his wife off by pressing his lips against hers in a passionate kiss. They kept kissing for so long and after a while he lifted her up and sat her down on his lap where they kept making out and caressing each other like they haven't done in so long. And with that they reignited the fire that burned so low after the past months. And oh, how they needed that.

#harry potter #george weasley #george wealsey x reader #cute #wizarding world #george weasly x reader #imagine #oneshot #x reader #george weasley x y/n #y/n

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lady-october · 7 months ago

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Pairing : Oli Sykes x Female Assistant Genre : Romance, Smut (18+ Only) Previous Chapters : Available on Ao3

Story Content : Smut, Drama, Choking, Power dynamics, Romance, Sadism/Masochism, Dom/Sub, Mentions of addiction & self harm, Degradation, Praise kink, Exhibitionism, Breath play, Dirty talk.

Summary :

“Don’t you see what a dangerous game you’re playing? Why did you have to look so fucking delicious tonight, I couldn’t stop undressing you in my mind, thinking of all the twisted things I want to do to you.” She had only worked on the touring team for three weeks, but her mind had been hijacked by dirty thoughts of a man she barely even talked to. Sure, he was very attractive, but were there other reasons she was so uncontrollably drawn to him? This is a filthy story of pain, self discovery, and love.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Chapter 19: Why am I this way?

Chapter title is lyrics from "LosT"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

It was 7.35pm when I knocked on Oli’s door.

He’d sent me a text saying he’d come by my room around 8, instructing me to cover up – preferably in layers, and while bewildering, I’d done as he wished; slipping the sweater that Liam had hated so much over my mesh top and jeans outfit.

The only problem was that after having spent several hours attempting to stay sane as the guilt inside me expanded and grew until I felt like a fucking pressure pot, I decided that I couldn’t wait until the time Oli had decided to come and collect me.

Instead I took matters into my own hands, even though the hands in question were currently so sweaty I had to continuously wipe them on my jeans as I waited for him to open the door.

I took a deep breath, trying to collect my scattered thoughts.

I knew Oli and I weren’t a couple, and I knew I didn’t necessarily owe him anything, yet it still felt as if I’d just cheated on him by kissing Mat.

By enjoying kissing Mat.

While I knew it was perfectly normal to date, and even get physical, with more than one person at a time, I’d never actually done it before, and because it was all very new to me I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that I’d committed some terrible, unforgivable crime.

Which had me questioning if I only felt this way because of my anxiety, or if my feelings were warranted and I was just a horrible person, playing Russian roulette with people’s hearts.

Pull yourself together, Alice. You haven’t even slept with Mat.

I dried my sweaty palms on my jeans again, wondering what was taking Oli so damn long.

Wondering if I should knock again.

Just as my fist was about to connect with the door, it finally swung open with Oli behind it, fully in black with a half buttoned dress shirt, his tattoos spilling out from every hem.

He squinted at me, eyeing me up with suspicion, “You’re early, and in the wrong place.”

The door opened further to let me inside.

As I walked past him I was hit by the wonderful way he smelled, which was stronger than usual considering he was in the middle of getting ready and had probably just applied whatever magic product that produced it.

“I’m sorry, we need to talk.” I said distantly, slightly distracted as my attention went from his enthralling scent to immediately take in the room before me.

It had a similar light and airy colour scheme as mine and Liam’s room, but the ceilings were even higher, with a massive bed facing a stone fireplace on the opposite wall.

But the real showstopper was the view.

You could see the entire lake from the row of large arch windows, and since the sun had just gone down the mirror image of the moon was slowly dancing on the calm surface of the water.

“What about?” He asked, sounding even more suspicious than he looked as he shut the door.

Deciding I couldn’t stand up during this conversation, I walked over to the end of the bed and took a seat.

“Mat.” I felt myself starting to disassociate ever so slightly as I said his name out loud.

He was in the middle of buttoning his shirt as I spoke, causing his fingers to stop what they were doing entirely.

“About you and Mat?”

“Yes.” My gaze fell to the floor out of shame.

He audibly exhaled before walking over to sit next to me on the bed.

The mattress shifted from the pressure, but I didn’t dare face him, didn’t dare see his expression as the sound of my heart beating in my ears got louder and louder during the heavy silence that had fallen between us.

“Do you still want to go on this date with me?” He asked softly, with so much sadness in his voice that my eyes involuntarily flew straight to him.

Large hazel eyes, framed by hair that had been tamed into more defined locks, were swimming with vulnerability as they looked at me, causing the ache in my heart to intensify tenfold.

“Very much.” I answered with certainty.

He studied my face as several emotions flickered over his features.

“Then I don’t need to know.” He stated casually before he shot out of bed to continue buttoning his shirt.

Feeling panicked, I frowned deeply, knowing I needed to tell him what happened before I fucking exploded.

“Wait, but–” I started, but he cut me off instantly, raising his voice in the process.

“Alice!” He bit out, shooting me daggers for a split second before his expression softened. He walked back over to me, reaching down to scoop up my hands into his, guiding me to stand before him, “Let tonight be about us.” He pleaded.

As I looked up at the man that was glowing with so much adoration for me that it caused my chest to constrict, I knew I didn’t have a choice but to answer his plea, knowing my heart wouldn’t allow anything else.

“Okay.” I said under my breath, reluctantly.

His pleading features shifted to a warm smile, tension slipping away from him, “Thank you.”

Letting go of my hands he skipped over to the window for a quick look at the sky as he finished doing the last of his buttons.

“Come on, love.” Is all he said before he took my hand and hurried us to the exit, not allowing me another second to reconsider my decision, or to start up another conversation.

The look he shot me after shutting the door was so full of excitement I couldn’t help but smile back at his sparkling grin, some of the anxiety from not having told him what transpired between me and his best friend melting away in the process.

But confusion quickly claimed me instead, as I was being pulled in the opposite direction of the elevator.

“Wait, where are we going?” I laughed.

“Oh, don't you worry about that.” Stopping at the emergency exit at the end of the corridor, he shot me yet another devil's grin before pushing the door open, leading to a winding staircase.

“Are we allowed to do this?” I heard my words echo in the stairwell as we quickly ascended the steps.

“Turns out, when you pay people they let you do whatever you want really.” He looked back at me, “Well, within reason of course.”

“I see, so is that what you’re doing with me then?” I asked teasingly, causing him to laugh as we reached the top of the stairs that had led us to a large door.

“While I fucking love calling you my whore, I was hoping your reasons for following my orders when we’re alone wasn’t for monetary purposes.” He said with a suggestive smile, pushing the door open.

It was so dark at first that I didn’t see anything, but my eyes quickly adjusted.

We were standing on the rooftop of the hotel looking out over the lake, the short stone wall perimeter adorned in fairy lights, and a large pile of blankets and pillows in the very middle, next to a tray with drinks and some food.

Oli let go of my hand and began walking backwards towards the blankets, arms stretched out, looking proud of what he’d set up for us, “What do you think?”

I was in awe as I took in the space.

The thought struck me that I’d never had anyone prepare such a romantic date for me before.

“This isn’t what I expected.” I breathed.

With a frown his arms fell to his sides, “Disappointed?”

“No, it’s incredible – perfect, actually.” The smile returned to his features as he walked back towards me, “I was just expecting– I guess I thought you wanted us to be more open about us, and this is very… private.”

He came to a stop in front of me, “We are more open – everyone knows we’re on a date right now– besides, I just wanted to get you alone again, no distractions this time, just you and me, so I can spend more time with you.” The suggestive grin returned as he leaned in closer, “Which is why I told you to cover up.”

I felt my brows furrow, “Because I’m distracting?”

“There’s nothing more distracting, love.” He said so seriously I almost laughed.

It was my turn to be suggestive, “I was covered up for most of last night, you still ended up coming twice.”

A light breeze came as his eyes darkened, causing his locks to sweep over his face, gently rustling the trees all around us, “You may have been in a baggy sweater, love, but I knew what was on display under that poor excuse for a skirt, barely covering your ass.” As he spoke his gaze wandered to my lips, the air quickly filling with the familiar electricity that always seemed to fly between us.

Yet this time it stirred discomfort in me, as if it didn’t feel right to do this without him knowing about me and Mat.

“Not to mention the absolutely perverted lipstick you’d chosen, how was I not supposed to play with it? As soon as I saw it on your fuckable little mouth I knew exactly what I wanted to do.” His thumb was just about to connect with my lower lip, hovering not even an inch from it, to rub it just like he’d done last night.

Heat spread throughout my whole body.

But the imminent physical contact also made me tense up; made me want to blurt out that I felt his friend's erection between my legs earlier, despite him not needing to know; despite him making it very clear that he doesn’t want to know.

Thankfully the hand fell away right as it touched me, with Oli shaking his head.

“None of that, come with me.” He said flatly, eyes wide, clearly attempting to keep us on track so we wouldn’t just spend all night fucking, which, for once, I was extremely grateful for.

Taking my hand, he swiftly led us to the blanket pile that he proceeded to lay down on, patting the space next to him for me to get comfortable as well.

As I took a seat, I paused to look at him, my heart still screaming to tell him what happened, making me question why I needed him to know so badly, while also wishing intensely that I didn’t feel like this at all so I could simply enjoy the night.

A couple of frown lines appeared on Oli’s forehead as I wordlessly stared at him, “Come on, love, lay down with me.”

His words were spoken gently, clearly worried, either about me or whatever he assumed was running through my head.

Attempting to shake off my thoughts, I did as he requested, making sure to leave a bit of space between us, not feeling steady enough for physical contact.

But my intrusive thoughts melted away effortlessly as soon as my head hit the pillow.

My eyes had adjusted further to the darkness, allowing me to now see the massive blanket of twinkling stars above us.

Having lived in cities my whole life, the night sky I knew looked nothing like this.

“That’s amazing.” I said distantly, lost in the natural beauty above us.

“I love the stars, I don’t get to see them too often though.” He said with wonder in his voice.

“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen them this clearly.” The longer I looked the more my eyes adjusted, causing even more stars to appear, this time with very faint washes of colours behind them, giving me the illusion that someone was painting the vision before me as I watched.

“I used to dread coming here.” He started, and while Mat had already told me that, I wasn’t about to interrupt him as he opened up to me, “The first time was a bloody nightmare, thought I’d rip my hair out with how little there is to do. But that was back when I needed constant distraction to stay sane – also back when ketamine was a bigger problem.” He tilted his head towards me for a second, I would have met his eyes but they quickly returned to the night sky as he continued with his story.

“Second year they had to essentially drag me here, but I came more prepared – mostly with a lot of weed,” He huffed out a nervous laugh, as if talking about his old self had mentally brought him back there, “Bumped into a janitor as I was heading out to find somewhere nice to sit and smoke – stuffy old fella, he smelled the weed on me and pointed out that it’s not allowed here, but I could tell he didn’t actually give a shit, so thought I’d try offering him some. All he did was shrug and led us up to this roof to get high.”

I felt myself smile, trying to imagine some rigid old man hanging out with Oli in his twenties.

“We had fuck-all in common; he was in his 60’s, religious man, never heard of our band – pretty sure he thought metal music was the devils music, but turned out his wife had just died so I don’t think he cared much about anything anymore.” He paused for a moment, sighing before he continued, “He was honestly kind of a prick, but he loved the stars, knew all the names of the constellations – told me them too. He tried really hard to describe exactly where they were, but none of it stuck, probably cause none of it really made sense to me.”

At some point my gaze had wandered to Oli as he spoke, his eyes sparkling as he dreamily stared at the sky above us, lost in his story.

"Never saw him again either, don’t even remember his name, but every year after that I’ve been coming up here to look at the stars – well, whenever the weather would allow it. But since I never learned the proper names, I’ve just sort of been making up my own from whatever shape I see that night – kind of like cloud gazing. Like over there, that totally looks like a car, doesn’t it?”

He moved a bit closer, our shoulders connecting as he pointed towards an area in the sky, his intoxicating smell flooding me.

I swallowed, attempting to focus on what he was showing me, but I couldn’t see anything that even remotely resembled a car.

“I can’t tell if I’m blind, or if you’re making it up, but there’s no way there’s anything car-shaped there.” I retorted as steady as I could, trying to keep the mood light.

Trying not to be too distracted by his proximity.

However, that immediately became impossible when he turned to his side and moved even closer, pressing his warm, slightly stubbly cheek to mine, causing my breath to hitch before he took my hand, pointing my index finger to the shape he was trying to describe in the sky.

“You see these six stars here…” He spoke softly as he guided my finger in a circle over the six stars, his warm breath fanning my face, smelling minty, “That’s the front wheel – and these ones over here…” My finger was directed in a shape that loosely resembled an oval, a bit to the right of the circle, which was hard to follow since my attention has been hijacked by how his thighs rubbed against mine, how his hand so tenderly held my fingers in his, and how his hair tickled my face in the gentle breeze of the night, “That’s the back wheel. Then finally, this riiiight here…” Trailing my finger in the most jagged arch possible, I couldn’t help but frown as the vehicle appeared in the sky above me, “That’s the top of the car. You see it?”

It was truly one of the most horrible renditions of a car I could imagine.

“Oli, the only way you could convince me that’s a car is if a small child drew it.”

He laughed as he laid back down on his back, angling himself in such a way that our shoulders and temples touched, “That’s fair, it’s not my best work. You try one.”

It took me a moment before I even began searching the sky, being suddenly overwhelmed by the emotions building in my chest, which only multiplied when Oli sighed, snuggling his head into mine even more.

There seemed to be a confusing duality with every emotion I felt in the presence of the man next to me; pain made me feel pleasure, happiness so easily caused panic, and I found comfort in the discomfort he so deliciously crafted for me.

Which sadly meant that the most perfect night I could imagine was currently being ruined by the soul crushing guilt that intensified every time I was reminded of how I felt about him.

How I wanted nothing more than to cuddle into him right now, yet feeling like I didn’t deserve the joy it would bring me.

“Nothing, love?” He asked after a while.

“Not yet, just a bit longer.”

My eyes had been mindlessly searching as I filtered through my thoughts, and finally I saw something.

“Oh– a smiley face!” I exclaimed with a bit too much excitement than the situation warranted.

“Show me.” He said before pushing his arm under my neck, wrapping his other hand around my thigh in order to pull me close, nestling me up against him.

My pulse sped up as I was flooded with more emotions; more discomfort; more happiness; more panic.

With a slightly shaky hand I started tracing the mouth, “Right there.” I whispered.

He pressed his face closer to mine to get a better look.

“Oh yeah, I see it.” He breathed, before reaching for one of the spare blankets, draping it over us as we laid tangled up with my head on his shoulder.

It was a fairly warm night, and the blanket was thin, not adding much warmth or weight to us, yet it felt as if I was suffocating as I listened to his heartbeat under my ear, my fingers restlessly playing with the buttons of his shirt, his hand on my arm caressing me tenderly, lovingly.

I should be happy – content – yet the wonderful sensations caused my heart to break.

He released another long sigh, holding me even closer, and I could barely take it anymore.

“It’s all you can think about, isn’t it? The stuff with Mat.”

The question took me by surprise, even though I realised my mood was very clearly written all over me.

“Yes.” Afraid to say it out loud, the word had barely been a whisper.

He rolled me onto my back, perching himself on his elbow so he could look at me during this conversation.

Tears stung my eyes as I looked at him hovering over me, his beautiful dark locks falling over worried features, with the starlit sky as his backdrop.

I felt such deep disappointment in myself for not being able to let it go, not being able to stop the guilt from eating me alive.

The stunning man above me visibly tensed, his worried features turning increasingly serious, “Do you have feelings for him?”

Shaking my head, I answered with confidence, “No, I don’t.”

It was too soon, all I felt for Mat right now was interest – curiosity.

And attraction.

His eyes pinned me, “Then please, Alice, drop it.”

A tear ran down the side of my face, “I can’t.”

“Why?” He asked through clenched teeth, frustration clearly taking hold of him.

“Because it feels like I’ve cheated, and you said that was a dealbreaker.”

While it had been obvious something had happened between me and Mat from the moment I stepped into Oli’s hotel room tonight, this was the first time I’d said something that had actually confirmed it.

With that confession, some of the pressure inside me began to ease, making me want to tell him everything, despite Oli’s wishes.

Despite how much pain and anger was twisting his features, the volatile energy radiating off of him in waves as he wordlessly glared at me.

When he finally spoke the words were low, aggressive, “You aren’t mine.”

Logically I knew I wasn’t, I knew we weren’t a couple, yet the words stung and burned like acid.

“Then why does it feel like I am?” I whispered, more tears running into my hairline.

For a moment I thought he was about to break down, to join me in tears as I whispered the words, but the anger returned immediately, the air so thick with it I could barely breathe.

“But you’re not. You’re not ready to commit to me, to be mine, are you?”

I wasn’t – not yet, not with this many unanswered questions; not with this much confusion.

Not with this many fears.

So I shook my head in response, not able to speak the words.

“Then fucking drop it.”

The words were already on my lips as he pleaded for me to keep the information to myself, begging me to spare him the details, knowing it would only hurt him further.

Yet I couldn’t stop myself.

“We kissed.”

His hand was suddenly at my throat, baring his teeth, a mixture of intense disbelief and pure rage burning in his eyes.

But it only made me want to keep sharing, keep pushing the knife in deeper.

“I also walked in on him last night, when he was– right as he–”

The tears were streaming from my eyes as I clumsily pushed the words out of me, needing them to leave my mouth so they’d stop torturing me.

The furious man above me digging his nails into the flesh of my neck, yet refusing to apply any pressure that would stop me from speaking.

“Shut the fuck up, Alice.” He spat.

“...Right as he came.” A sense of relief washed over me as I finished my sentence.

His chest was heaving, the fingers on my throat shaking as the nails dug in deeper, hurting me in a way that did nothing but make me feel infinitely better as the pressure inside me subsided.

Meanwhile the pressure inside Oli was building, threatening to explode.

But that’s what I want, isn't it? For him to take it out on me, so I can feel less guilty.

Unease settled in my stomach at the realisation.

“Did you like it?” His words were mocking, vicious, dripping with uncontained fury.

I nodded, feeling dizzy from the intense mixture of emotions and sensations, my uncontrollable tears flooding my eyes further, turning the man above me blurry before each blink.

He studied my face as he worked overtime to control his rage, “Why are you telling me this?”

“I don’t want to have any secrets with you.”

With a sharp inhale the anger immediately fell away from him as I spoke the words I’d realised last night in my bunk, knowing that I couldn’t consider potentially starting something with Oli while keeping secrets.

“B-but that’s not the only reason.” I pressed on, knowing that not keeping secrets included sharing the realisation that hit me just a moment ago.

The fury returned to his features like it never left; as if he could read my mind.

“You want me to punish you, don’t you? So you’ll feel better?”

I felt my whole face twist in pain as the guilt punched me in the gut, hating how he already knew, hating how right he was.

Hating myself for being like this, for torturing him in the process.

“At any point did you stop to think how deeply fucking selfish that is?”

“I know– I know, I’m not expecting it, I’m so sorry, Oli. P-please, forgive me. I just wanted to enjoy tonight with you so badly– I, I’m–”

The hand on my throat moved to my mouth, covering it firmly, effectively putting an end to my rambling apology.

I blinked away more tears as he pushed my legs apart with his, the furious, unwavering stare darkening as he mounted me, the blanket that he’d so lovingly wrapped us up in just moments ago falling away from our bodies in the process.

“Do you want me to fuck the pain away?”

The air, already sickly thick from rage and pain, turned thicker still with lust, my whole body screaming for his; needing the sweetest of release that only he could offer, more than I needed air.

I nodded slowly against his hand, feeling shame for admitting it considering the circumstances.

His eyes darkened further, his hair falling over them, rendering them barely visible above me as his hips connected with mine, grinding his already solid length against my pussy so hard it hurt in the most delightful of ways through the thick fabric of my jeans, making him inhale a ragged breath while I moaned into his hand, blinking away more tears.

“I want to be more than your painkiller, Alice.” I could feel a deep heartbeat between my legs with his erection pressed against me, his breath coming heavier in the process, “But the relief works both ways, and I’m suffering a fair bit right now.”

He ground down on me again, my back arching into him, my legs wrapping around him.

Studying my face, he let go of my mouth, causing our breaths to mingle in the night air as another gust of wind rustled the trees.

“You’ll need a safeword tonight.” He breathed, “Say red if you want me to stop entirely, and pink if you want me to ease up. I will not fucking listen to any other words, you can scream ‘no’ till you turn blue – I won’t give a shit. Are we clear?” He asked, glaring at me.

A shiver ran through me.

Excitement, fear, adrenaline, and curiosity all blossomed in my chest, making me feel incredible.

Making me feel alive.

“We’re clear.”

He visibly swallowed, “Alright.”

Pushing off of me entirely, he crouched to collect me, effortlessly throwing me over his shoulder.

My heart was racing so fast I thought it would beat right out of my chest as he took long strides towards the door.

I realised I hadn’t thought this through, that he was probably taking me to his room – that we’d have to walk through the corridor that had been bustling with people every time I’d used it – including the other band members.

“Wait!” I yelled as he pushed the door open to the stairs, and was immediately met with a sharp pain on my behind, burning as the hand that had caused the pain trailed down towards my thigh, the thumb brushing over my pussy in the process.

“That’s not the fucking safeword, is it?” His words echoed in the stairwell, followed immediately by another burning slap, the caressing thumb pressed harder against my core this time.

I whimpered in pain, considering using the safeword already, to avoid any potential awkwardness on our way to his room.

Which was foolish of me, knowing damn well how badly I needed this.

So I shut up, accepting that whatever happens, happens.

As soon as we were flooded by the bright light of the hotel corridor Oli spoke, causing my heart to sink.

“Hiya, mate, you alright?” The aggressive energy in his voice remained unchanged as he spoke the casual words.

“Yeah, good thanks.”

I felt myself go ice cold.

I couldn’t see him, but I knew that voice; it was Mat.

He’d answered flatly, sounding distant, obviously shocked by the vision before him.

But Oli didn’t falter, he never stopped taking long strides – nor did he stop inflicting pain on me.

When Mat’s legs entered my peripheral vision as we passed him, I felt another slap, growing more painful each time it happened, making me whimper louder.

I looked up at Mat through my hair as I was helplessly being dragged off, his eyes were dark with some unreadable emotion as he stood by his room, clutching his keycard.

All I could do was let him stare at me while my expression involuntarily melted into obvious pleasure as fingers dragged over my pussy, before we disappeared into Oli’s room.

... Subscribe to the story on Ao3 for future updates

#oli sykes #oli sykes x reader #oli sykes smut #oli sykes fic #oli sykes fan fiction #bring me the horizon #you got a taste now #smut #mat nicholls #So things may be a bit nuts. I do apologise lol

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bullet-prooflove · 1 year ago

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Heaven in Hiding: Mike Duarte x Reader

Part of @storiesofsvu Holiday Bingo! The square was Holiday Party!

Tagging: @crazy4chickennuggets @kmc1989 @withakindheartx @mysoulisasunflower @resonmalvo @@littleone65 @thesandbeneathmytoes @mydarkestsecretlol @evee87 @wooshwastaken @hearthockey @justreblogginfics @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @rosaliedepp @thatesqcrush @storiesofsvu @whateversomethingbruh @burningpeachpuppy @legit9thlunaticwarrior @kiwiithecrazybird @spooky-pomegranate @telepathay @weiwei0210 @spaghettificationandpretzels @plaidbooks

Part of the Crossing Lines Arc:

Crossing Lines - Mike tells you how he feels when he’s high.

Worth Waiting For - Companion piece to Crossing Lines

Mike Duarte is hiding. He’s leaning against the printer in the dark copier room whilst the Gang Unit’s Annual Christmas party is in full swing outside in the Squad Room. He hates these things, he hates how loud they get, how raucous. The same people making fools of themselves over and over again because they’ve had a little too much to drink.

If he’s honest he hates the season, he has too many memories of a cold house, a thread bare tree, and paper Christmas decorations that degenerated more and more, year after year. His Mami had tried her best but with three kids and a husband that was consistently gambling against the house, there was barely any money to put food on the table, let alone pay for the heating.

He looks up when the door clicks open, you slip through the gap closing it swiftly behind you. There’s only a couple of feet between the two of you, the room is small, barely more than a closet. The scent of your perfume floods his nostrils, it’s light and floral, jasmine, he thinks. It reminds him of the first few days of spring. He’s tried to keep his distance, ever since that thing with the cocaine, when he’d gotten a little high and told you how he felt.

“I don’t wanna be your Captain, I wanna be the man who makes you come.” He’d told you.

You’d smoothed it over a few days later.

“We need to talk.” He’d said when he’d summoned you into his office. “About what I said, and what I did.”

You’d shrugged your shoulders.

“It happens.” You’d responded.

That had been over a month ago and his feelings haven’t changed. He’s still attracted to you; it goes far beyond physicality. It wouldn’t be such an issue if it was just about that. The problem is he actually enjoys spending time with you and that messes with him.

“So, this is where you’ve been hiding.” You say, leaning back against the door, blocking his exit.

“Yea.” He says swiping across the video on his screen in order to turn down the volume. “Out there isn’t really my scene.”

“Mine neither.” You say with a small smile. “It’s my first one, I thought I’d be social but it’s barely past ten and the majority of them are already a mess.”

“It gets worse.” Mike tells you, the edges of his mouth tipping up. “So much worse.”

“So, I guess that means we’re going to be hiding out here for the rest of the night…” You sigh, shifting so that you end up taking up residence alongside of him. Your arm brushes against his and he feels the heat from your skin searing against his own before you gesture towards his phone. “What were you watching?”

“My niece Amelia,” He says, showing you the video. “She had her Christmas play tonight, that’s her, the angel on the right.”

“She’s got that trademark Duarte scowl.” You laugh as you lean in close.

“She wanted to be the Christmas tree.” He reveals as he points to boy in a handmade costume. “This kid is now her nemesis.”

“And there’s the wrath.” You tease as he returns the phone into the back pocket of his jeans. “I’m guessing it’s a family trait.”

You’re still smiling when he tilts his head toward you, it’s that smile that ensnares him. His eyes meet yours and for a moment everything just falls away. All of that worry, all of that doubt, it falls away and he’s left with an intense sense of longing. He wants you, Christ he wants you more than anything, but he just can’t make himself take that step.

Your fingertips ghost along the line of his jaw and he closes his eyes, savouring the sensation because he can’t remember the last time someone touched him like his. Your lips are soft as they brush over his, there’s a tenderness in you that’s never he’s felt with any other woman and Mike revels in it.

When you draw away, he doesn’t know what to say so he says nothing. He sees the conflict in you, the uncertainty that crosses your features.

“I’m sorry.” You say quietly. “I thought…”

You laugh, your cheeks colouring with embarrassment as you reach for the doorhandle.

“It doesn’t matter.” You tell him before you pull the door open and head back into the fray. “Merry Christmas Captain.”

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veritas-scribblings · 5 months ago

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sweat - @marauders-rarepair-fics - words: 1,094

[For @crimsonlovebartylus: their rosebones post with those pictures popped up on my feed and I felt inspired and this came from it]

There’s part of Evan that saw this coming. That has long known he would eventually malfunction in some sort of way. When you’re damaged, malfunctioning is inevitable. It is unavoidable. As inevitable and unavoidable as aging. As loss. As betrayal. As pain. As death.

There’s also part of Evan, though, that had suspected (or, perhaps, even hoped) he was so far beyond irreparably damaged that this strange affliction would never grace him. That he would never have to worry about things such as romantic attraction and love. All of those fluffy, sunshine-and-rainbows feelings that are solely reserved for lovers of fairy tales and romance novels, and idealistic teenage girls, the people who have never been touched by the cold, sharp blade of reality like Evan has.

He doesn’t know what to do with those sort of feelings. He doesn’t know what to do with feelings. He so rarely has them.

Unfortunately, though, here Evan is trapped in this potentially one-sided tug of war with this boy (this boy, Salazar, this boy with his tattoos and his piercings and his taunting smile that makes something inside Evan grow and grow and grow). And Evan just doesn’t know how to respond. How to handle it.

Beyond throwing fists and throwing spells and and drinking like a fish and fucking his way out of the emotions and into oblivion.

And so this is what he does.

See, Evan is no stranger to sex. Sex is familiar territory. It was familiar territory before he should have been doing it, before he should have even known what it was all about. It’s physical. It’s intimate. It’s ‘chasing his release’. It’s ‘feeling something and knowing he’s alive’. It’s quick. It’s ‘in and out and be done with it’. No revisits, no repeats.

Maybe, actually, that’s where Evan went wrong. There were revisits and repeats. He broke his cardinal rule.

Evan drains his glass and stares across the room. The music playing is some slightly hyper muggle nonsense that has everyone in the room dancing like raucous nymphs. The alcohol flows freely as Barty handled the acquisition of it while Regulus bank rolled him. They’ve set up this security charm of sorts to protect the room, Regulus and Barty. They haven’t gone into the specifics, but apparently there’s a spell that they’ve called the ‘Blood Eagle’.

Dorcas has run off to ensure that they’re not actually intending on eviscerating any professor or caretaker who tries to catch them in-party.

And there, across the room where Evan stares, is that boy. Salazar, that boy. That Edgar Bones. With his eye liner and his piercings and the tattoos he has hidden that Evan found and revealed and tasted. That boy and the ghost of his skin against Evan’s that Evan recalls, feels, even now.

That makes him go warm inside, so warm he thinks he might burn up.

Fuck. Fuck it all to hell.

Evan wants to climb into bed and hide from the world. He wants Barty and Regulus to hold him, the way they always insist on holding him, and to burrow himself into his little cocoon of a family and never emerge. See, Evan knows love. He has love, the eternal and unconditional sort. He just doesn’t know the conventional kind of love that's supposedly ‘written in the stars’. The mythical kind offset from reality. The ‘go grey, grow old together’ kind of love that doesn’t fucking exist.

Fuck that kind of love. Fuck all and sundry. Evan wants nothing to do with it.

‘Did you have fun?’

Evan practically jumps out of his skin. His first instinct is to punch the source of the sound. And he tries to, only Edgar is quick and dodges him, because of course the bastard saw it coming.

Evan scowls. He would go in for another punch—he wants to, he thinks that Edgar would wear the bruises and blood quite nicely—only Edgar is smirking at him and it's almost menacing. So nasty for a Hufflepuff, Evan remembers saying to him.

I’m patient. Dedicated. Hard-working. Loyal, Edgar had said. There’s nothing about needing to have all the traits.

Edgar’s stare is hard and penetrating. He leans against the wall next to Evan, so close that Evan can feel his warmth and see the bird tattoo peaking out beneath his partially-unbuttoned shirt.

‘Jealous, Bones,’ Evan says.

Edgar frowns. His intense stare is gone. ‘Yes,’ he says. ’Terribly jealous. But that was your intention, wasn’t it?’

Of course. Of course Edgar saw him leave with that Ravenclaw girl. Evan had wanted him to see. He’d wanted him to know what they were going to do, what they eventually did do. He’d wanted it to chase Edgar away, to scream at Edgar: I am not built for this game. I am damaged.

So why does Evan feel? Like there’s something growing in his chest he can’t quite identify and name. It makes his heat race. It makes him feel warm. It stifles his breath in his chest.

And he doesn’t fucking know why.

Edgar passes him a glass of what looks like vodka mixed with some form of juice. ‘Hi,’ he says with a small smile, ‘how are you doing?’ When Evan just stares blankly at him, Edgar smiles a bit wider. ‘It’s called conversation, Rosier. See, I can be friendly.’

‘You’re in my space,’ is all Evan says in return.

Edgar laughs, taking a sip from his own glass, and gestures for Evan to drink. ‘You’ve been avoiding me. Don’t give me that look. You have. And you’ve been eye-fucking me across the room all night. And then you left with Delia, so apparently you’re also fucking-fucking with me. Did she do it for you, Rosier? Or can I do it for you.’

And there it is again. The warmth that floods Evan. The way his heart threatens to beat out of his chest. The way his breath stops short in his throat. The slightly dizzy, sick feeling he can’t explain away as he hasn’t had enough to drink to cause such an affliction.

Evan just doesn’t understand.

He glances over to where Barty and Regulus are laying on the couches by the fireplace. Come save me, he wants to say, because he’s weak. Sweet Cierce, is Evan weak and utterly ruined. But they won’t come and save him. They’re so used to him sneaking off for a quick shag that they generally just leave him to it.

They don’t know about this boy who is trying to destroy Evan from the inside out.

#harry potter #fanfiction #microfics #myfanfiction #evan rosier #edgar bones #rosebones #marauders rarepair microfic #myothermicrofics

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