#i see a lot of people kin will because they are on the spectrum

[lunaelume-n]

want to know where the hannibal fans are that have an ugly past, that can’t always relate to knowing they’re really a good person inside. want to know where the hannibal fans are that struggle with terribly intrusive thoughts, that have acted immorally and have been genuinely unsafe or unhealthy for others, even others who were innocent. want to know where the hannibal fans are that grew up deeply questioning everything about reality to a disturbing level, and how isolating that felt. fans that struggle with feeling very angry and hurt, or just feeling their feelings all the time. if not feeling, analyzing everything, all the time. the fans that can’t always relate to being the victim of the story, but the person who’s done harm too. want to know where the hannibal fans are at that have genuinely wondered if something is severely wrong with them, and not because of their admiration for the show, but because of the ways they’ve behaved, things they’ve thought or said, interests they’ve had, but also because you grew up feeling less included than you’d like, so you just feel more odd than most, maybe even doomed sometimes. this show is a helpful tool in observing myself more objectively, and i appreciate that because i’ve been able to learn when to step back and let go, on top of applying other coping mechanisms i have. i do feel isolated in this fandom sometimes because while i know i am not my past and my mistakes or my struggles, i see many people online that i feel might not have strayed too far the way that i have, and while i have a general grasp on reality and morals, and i’d never intentionally act out of line with those morals now in my life, i have in the past, and i’ve been wrong, unsafe, and cruel. i’ve been able to reflect on myself and grow, so there’s comfort in that, but there’s still also the worry of “what if i am alone in this?” knowing how unlikely that is, given how many people are in the world.

[r0-boat]

One off headcannon concept:

Deity/God of love x ace/aro spectrum!reader

Cw: angst, unrequited love, one-sided love. Enemies to one-sided love, never returned one-sided affection.

(reader is on the Aro/Ace spectrum, And they are still finding themselves)

This God has no name so it can be interpreted in a lot of ways!

Hi I am on the aroace spectrum. This is from my point of view please don't kill me aroace community.

Coming back into the mortal world blends into society All his brothers sisters aunts and uncles have done this already.

So, the rumors are true? Humans do not need us? Some of his kin have blended wonderfully into human society and become highly successful. I mean, it's pretty hard not to. They are gods, after all. But He isn't so willing to submit his godlike title.

He was quite an arrogant fellow. So when he found out his powers didn't exactly work on you, he was not happy... He had heard of mortals with the power to be resistant to his weapons no matter how dangerous, no matter how potent. You are the first he had seen and possibly the first of many... So he studied you... It was not hard, especially when He overheard you trying to find a roommate, and he applied.

You hated him... Anyone would. At least he pays his bills on time, but you cannot stand how he would set you up with dates!

A lot of the dates were bland but not bad. And as time went on the two of you started to get relatively close... Underneath his confident, cocky arrogance that made you scratch up walls, he was pretty chill.

The last straw was when you went out with one of the people he picked, and they treated you horribly. He had a big smile coming to pick you up, only to see you crying on the sidewalk. His heart felt heavy when he saw you, knowing he had helped you prepare for that date. Hell, the two of you even had fun...

The car ride was silent on the way home. Usually, you yelled at or told him how the date was, but this time, you were silently staring at your phone, your eyes red from crying.

That's when he decided to give up on finding you dates. He finally learned that love isn't something you force. And even then, he comes to terms with the truth that some mortals are not capable of experiencing sexual and romantic love. But he decided to stay in the human world only because he liked your company.

All is well from a lot of talking and a lot of apologizing and a lot of silence, Your relationship is slowly repaired. And after that, all was okay. The two of you honestly were attached to the hip partners in crime your group of friends would call you.

But then things started to get weird. He would feel this ache in his heart when guys or girls would come up and talk to you. It felt wrong. He felt protective, possessive, and jealous.

What was not to love about you? Every little thing you did made him smile. But what took his heart You were awkward at first (even more endearing in his opinion) but once you broke out of that shell to him you were like gold. you are funny. And you were a natural people magnet. Everyone liked you. You are sweet and caring, You had strong morals yet, You were not opposed to learning more and changing your opinions. He could go on and on... Even the little things you did that was normal for mortals He was captivated by because the small ways you did it was so interesting. You are not perfect, no human is. But it somehow just made you more attractive.

Once he realized that he was the one who fell in love. It wasn't something out of happiness or confusion but fear and sadness and immediate acceptance. To him he knew 100%, that he fall in love with someone who could never love In the same way in return. He is desperate for the hide feelings because if you find out, he's afraid you might never talk to him again. But at the same time, he wants to support you and do everything for you because he loves you and wants to see you at your best. And he wants to be there for your worst. He generally cares for you, And he won't let his selfish feelings get in the way of that.

So he will continue to stand beside you. It hurts. But that's okay. He's content with this.

[pjplayground]

Octagram

This is his final redesign, I swear.

Bio: Being the son of your entire region's number one tennis coach can be a lot, especially if you're the eldest. PJ here struggles with being expected to live up to his father's model, but he'd rather study other things. For a while, he's been secretly studying Battlemage magic under Nightmare's guidance - Nightmare being their history teacher for third period.

Basic Info Full Name: Paperjam Candy Charcoal Brightwell Nicknames: PJ, CC (by Cocoa Berry only) Age: 18 Height: 5'4" Gender Identity: Demiboy (he/they) Sexual Orientation: Biromantic Demisexual Medical Issues: Autism Spectrum Disorder [ASD], Depression, Anxiety Can't Leave the House Without: Glasses, phone, earbuds, backpack, car and house keys, something with octagons on it

Relationships Error - Father, not as good as either them want it to be Cocoa Berry - Mother, decent Cil - Brother, trying to bridge gaps Lemon Zest - Sister, annoying Undyne - Best friend, basically siblings Hunter - Friend, salty buddies Skrunkly - Friend, yippee kin Wallace - New friend, getting used to the weed smell Romper - New friend, wants to design a logo for their band Papyrus - New friend, always gets sampled secretly Outer - New friend, thinks he's cute BonBon - New friend, she likes their art Starbone - New friend, can't quite understand him... yet Alphys - Acquaintance, they have fun trash talking normal people

Miscellaneous Little Facts - He has the second name "Candy" because of his mother. On her side of the family, everyone has two names corresponding with food, as per tradition. If Error didn't intervene, PJ would've been named "Cake Pop." - The symbol in the middle of his octagram is the symbol for Loyalty, and its color is represented with purple. - PJ struggles with explosive anger. When I say "explosive," I mean that literally. - They play tennis. - He wears mostly comfy clothes, like sweaters, overalls, sweatpants, baggy jeans, etc. - Error wants PJ to eventually play tennis on a regional level, but they don't wanna do that. They see tennis as more of a hobby. - PJ is a pretty good artist. - He has a Rumblr blog where he posts his art called Flowy Paintbrush. - Due to playing sports most of his life, he's endured a lot of injuries. - Although their relationship is a little rocky, Error and PJ still work out every Sunday. This is why PJ is a little more toned compared to his peers. - Charcoal was his grandfather's name (on his dad's side). - He's allergic to dust. - They got into Battemage magic from Nightmare's class. It came up in a lesson and PJ wanted to know more. - PJ's anger issues have given them the reputation as the aggressive athlete type around school, and even in some pockets around town. - When he graduates, he plans on signing up for the "Gates to Education" program, which will allow him to study magic in a whole other Realm. - They're part Fire Elemental. This is from their mother's side, stemming from their Grandpa. This is why their anger is especially explosive. - He sucks at math. - Mac and cheese is his number one comfort food, and that will never change. - Some days after school, PJ goes to work for their mother at her bakery. - In two years, they'll inherit their mother's family recipes. However, they already have a couple of their dad's family recipes. - Yes. You can roast marshmallows over their head when they flare up. They get that hot.

[jaymesyourplaything]

If you want my input? By all means, Dump has every right to feel hurt about not knowing your Jim blog and Blurry's were related, and to cut contact. I'm no psychologist or anything but it does come off as a bit of an overreaction? Blurry was just trying to explain and apologize, literally made multiple posts to clear up that the character and the mod are separate entities. Only reason I see that they'd react like that at first is being called the r word set them off. Again, no shade if that's the case, even if someone can reclaim a slur that doesn't mean everyone is alright with being called such things. One must respect that. Don't have the context for the Moriarty's post part. Womp womp. And yet when someone else apparently tried to explain you both were a part of a dissociative system, that's apparently demonizing mental illness? Oh dear, your existence is a demonization of OSDD? I guess we'll have to cancel you. :/ - 🖤

yeaaaah, i tried to point out that in their perspective "i" came out of nowhere and slurred them, like that's intense. kin tried to explain the best he could he didn't mean offense, that that's blurry's shtick lol, and even agreed they won't interact with them. so we were honestly confused that dump was still bummed about it, when we did our best to not interact when we found out they didn't want to interact with [kin] "anyone in the "system"."

kin and i both find using the r slur appropriate in certain contexts, especially since we're on the spectrum ourselves. this is another point of confusion in general though, as it's in question. neglect and OSDD are signs we're not actually on the spectrum and are stunted due to our abuse. i feel our r-slur pass has been taken away from us </3 granted i try not to use it, but i'll say anything in character. that's what playing a character is. (if there's something i'm uncomfortable with, i likely wouldn't be playing that character. ) (so yeah, reclaiming is fine, but not everyone has to be okay with it. kin uses the f slur too but we have friends who hate the f slur. )

but the crazy thing was dump blocked and unblocked kin a total of 3 times, so after the second time kin blocked them back. kin had to unblock them to take that screenshot but had seen they had unblocked again at some point. now blocked again. they seemed confused themselves on if they genuinely wanted to forgive and forget, but if someone blocks kin then he will block to make sure people don't do that flip flop thing we saw dump do here. john does that a lot too, he'll block you and unblock multiple times over the course of a day for some reason.

i personally prefer to be seen as separate from kin, we don't even use "system". we prefer to say dissociative disorder, admitting to OSDD is still very scary to us, especially because we've had a few people cut contact with us since discovering this. it's very difficult and brave of people to be themselves and understand that, but it's far too new to us and it's so scary still. it's so overwhelming because we never knew how to talk about this stuff, so when john outed us we were thrown into deep water suddenly. i don't mind if people don't want to talk to either of us, but we did everything we could to be respectful of their decision (we didn't tell them we both "are in the same system" but just continued with the decision of "not interacting". from their perspective, we pretended we weren't, in one conversation. but from our perspective, we found out they blocked each other so i stopped interacting. nothing crazy, idk. )

so yeah i agree with you, it's valid of dump and their feelings, but strange they're so closed minded and can't understand it was just a misunderstanding. i didn't know, when i found out, i stopped interacting. so manipulative lol

[necroangelz]

Im watching a documentary about celts and white people and white power and Europe and Finnic people and Scandinavian people and The Roman Empire and white people feeling real nazistic now anyway sends all the emojis of the emoji game -🎀

Sana Tamaan Ka Ng Kidlat Ni Bathala

haha anyway wow 🎀 anon that sounds like a very educational documentary. did that inspire uu with any nazi feelings?

『 💉 』

a kin memory

as sunny omori, i was genderfluid afab, probably on the aroace spectrum, and used any pronouns. mari's full name was Marianne. can't remember my first name, i just know that sunny was a nickname that literally everyone used so it became a substitute for my actual name

mari and i were filipino-chinese (+american), kel and hero were south american, Aubrey was filipino-american, basil was just north american. faraway town had a lot of poc

『 🎀 』

a name/prn/title/label i hoard

I'm super drawn to anything related to stories :P

『 💊 』

5 min edit of a random character

yk uur talented when uur 5 minute edits still look good as hell /J

i love the "unmotivated" frame sm i wanna use it in an actual edit someday....

"angel stop editing NSO" NO!!

『 💌 』

a quote/song lyric

" i have nothing to complain about. i may not be perfect to you, but I'm plenty good enough to myself. "

" ... now i understand. i wanted everyone to love me. i sought for so much. to know everything when i had everything. but i never tried to find out what i truly wanted... and i can't have it anymore. ah, i could have turned back any time, but now it's all gone because of me ! "

dialogue from the houseki no kuni/land of the lustrous manga. can't remember which chapter but it's near the end. i won't talk about the context much in case i spoil someone but i really really really truly super duper resonate with this dialogue 🙃🙃

『 🫀 』

a game i played

today's game is... va-11 hall-a: cyberpunk bartender action! also known as waifu bartending and the true lesbian experience

time to mix drinks and change lives.

i first learned about it when my friend told me it was the type of game i would like. i looked it up and, wow he wasn't wrong. it really did look like something I'd be into. so when the steam spring sale rolled around a few days or a week ago i bought it!

honestly the title is very direct with what the game is about. you play as Jill, a bartender in va-11 hall-a (referred to simply as Valhalla) in a technologically advanced world and a corrupt city. you serve drinks to your clients, have long conversations with them where stuff about the characters and world is revealed, and tolerate their weirdness. the game is visual novel heavy and focuses a lot on the talking, which is fine with me! i like the combination of lots and lots of dialogue and casual gameplay where uu still kind of need to use uur brain

there's a lot of cute girls in the game (re: waifu bartending and the true lesbian experience)

to the left is Dorothy, a lilim robot (basically an advancedsex robot. her product line in particular is modeled to be on the younger side physically) she's really sweet and bubbly and she has a kind personality. to the right is Dana, Jill's boss. i don't know much about Dana yet but a lot of mystery surrounds her. a lot of characters say she's very strong and there's lots of rumors about how she got her prosthetic arm (a lot of rumors may have been started by her.) also Jill's wallpaper is of herself and Dana together and she apparently has lots of photos of Dana in her gallery. i hope i can see them get together

i find the GUI very satisfying. there's also a home segment where uu sit at home with Jill's cat, fore, and browse Jill's phone. uu can also buy stuff. Jill gets distracted very easily so sometimes uu have to buy things from the online store so Jill would be less distracted at work (SO REAL she's the most accurate representation of ADHD lesbians ever)

since it takes place in a cyberpunk setting there's some political shit going on, the city they live in is a really Bad city with lots of crime and injustice, and the organization "white knights" (basically the cops but stronger and more organized) are known to be power hungry and use their power unfairly for the wrong reasons. also the prime minister seems a bit incompetent? there's also something about a hacker called Alice rabbit... but also at the start of the game, Jill had this weird dream about a girl and occasionally the girl appears on the bar's tv for a split second...... yeah there's a lot going on here

anyways i find the game really fun and i hope to play it more when i have more free time! im still super early in the game . i don't have a singular favorite character yet bc I'm still at the beginning so idk much about them yet and they all look cool to me!!

『 🪽 』

infodump about an oc

OKAY, SO! the oc i will discuss here is connected to nyxa, an oc i discussed here but reading that infodump isn't necessary to understand this one (not like anyone reads these anyway /lh)

remmeber when i said that, as far as nyxa knows she's the only surviving member of her family after they all killed each other?? WELL! that's wrong she's not the only survivor. her older sister survived as well!

this is Amos faust! (or fraust... i spelled her last name differently sometimes) although Amos isn't really her real name, it's just an alias that she always goes by. shes the head of a detective agency! (in my phoebe and nyxa infodump i mention that nyxa becomes a head of a detective agency when she's an adult. she takes over amos' agency)

her backstory is she studied in cloud tower but in her 3rd year she dropped out and disappeared. no one came looking for her because.. no one really knew her, yk? she was quiet, mysterious, she avoided everyone and everyone avoided her. eventually after leaving cloud tower she began a personal investigation where she hunted down a specific person/group that had something to do with her family's demise (like an enemy of the family) and it led her to a detective agency. she concluded that her target was the director. so she entered the agency, climbed the ranks,became trusted and known within the agency, until she had the opportunity to get close enough to the director and kill them. except, she was wrong about her target, so now she had the blood of an innocent person on her hands. out of genuine guilt and regret (and also because she was emotionally attached to this agency and she figured she would have an easier time continuing her investigation within the agency) she pulled some strings and appointed herself as the new director. and she has been the director for the past ██ years.

Amos is a very eccentric person, and those who don't know her well might even regard her as scary. she arrives to strange conclusions, she comes up with strange plans, but somehow her plans always work. most of the time. the people working under her have learned not to question it. she's very skilled at fighting, spywork, reading and using people, etc. it's hard to know if any of her current personality is even true. but sometimes, one can observe that she genuinely cares for the few people who are very close to her, such as her sister nyxa and her assistant. shes also sarcastic, unafraid to speak her mind, really confident in herself and her abilities.

so how do Amos and nyxa meet again?

basically in their 3rd year at alfea, students can sign up as for different part time jobs with agencies that alfea partnered with. there's a wide range of jobs and it's meant to help the students get familiar with the work environment of the career they want to pursue in the future. yk, gain some experience, make connections, get a paycheck, etc. phoebe and nyxa try applying for many jobs but in the end they go with a detective agency. very few students applied for it so they easily get hired after they attend the orientation and pass the test, and also they think it's really cool

when they applied and worked there for a few weeks/months, the director was away on a long business trip so nyxa didn't immediately realize that her fucking sister was in the agency. and idk if she would realize it immediately either. because she hasn't seen her sister in YEARS and i like to think something separated them very early in their lives so they weren't close at all. but Amos would immediately recognize her i think

but yeah. skipping past the specifics of the situation: eventually nyxa learns the truth, she's no longer alone, she still has surviving family etc. nyxa and Amos try to rebuild a familial bond again but it's awkward bc its like.... honestly at this point in their lives they're like strangers to each other. but it's okay they take the time to get to know each other again

i like to imagine nyxa and Phoebe going on missions together with Amos as their chaperone/guardian/protector/guide ^_^

anyway yeah that's all i have to say i think

[horizon-verizon]

Aemond x Alys is pretty similar to Euron x Falia imo, I think that's why a lot of people see Alys disliking the Strongs as a valid option. It's not out of nowhere tbh

Except that the text/canon as of 2023 of this month and day (since this is a The Winds of Winter thing) clearly states in no ambiguities that Falia's father allowed her stepmother and sisters to treat her as less-than. 

While Alys became a wet nurse, Falia was proven to have been treated as if she were lower than her sisters. Falia is on the spectrum of "needs to get out" vs Alys’ “IDK, maybe? doesn’t have to leave until we get more info”. Alys' situation needs more evidence and stronger suggestions of Strong abuse meriting hatred than what F&B gives us.

And if she was abused and welcomed the deaths of all/some of her distant kin at Aemond's hands, that would be pretty horrific for her still. Seeing as there were children and probably male infants there that Aemond killed. F&B says the entire male line. If there were no kids or babies killed, it's still a massacre of innocent, surrendering adults performed in front of your very eyes. If that happened in front of me, I'd be terrified for my own life and those that I actually liked and cared for, plus men rape captured women and children....so, the girls and women aren't guaranteed safety.

I would not like her much (understatement) but I would still say that she was a victim of Aemond. War prizes are no joke people. It reminds me of how people would try to justify Robert hurting and raping Cersei for her either annoying him or just because she herself is an abusive, evil person. No one deserves rape and being made into a sex object.

While wet nurses again had thankless jobs, I already stated why I need more HERE.

[spiritpraiseandbeautifulhumanity]

AHEM, just letting myself rant a bit to get it off my chest because I am tired of people misinterpreting us and also just completely ignoring or missing the details right in front of them in the canon. Sister and me are literally the only ones who are correct about ourselves because I mean for one we are literally the actual Shingujis from V3 and not just fans or kins or anything else, but also just because no one can seem to understand us for who we are even when it’s very obviously presented in the game. Anyways, first of all I don’t get constantly misgendered just for people to say “oh he actually *is* a girl” if you headcanon that sort of thing for your own personal comfort that’s fine though, but I’m not interested in seeing a lot of that when I’m actually a trans man. The ones who are awful though are those who treat their headcanon as if it’s canon and act like I am really a girl, like no I didn’t/don’t go through my life being a feminine guy just for people to treat me like that means I must be a girl or identify as one in some way. Also, I partly consider myself agender as well so it can be uncomfortable when people are like “he’s male and/or female” like please don’t bring biological sex into gender, yes I’m afab but I don’t identify as a sex, I’m just a man who happens to be way more feminine than most typical men are and am not a girl in any way. And then on the topic of sexuality so many people seem to think I’m asexual or at least somewhere on that spectrum…and here’s where the game itself comes into play. Like you can literally tell from the game just how false that is because I am shown to be sexual and romantic, just because I’m a loyal romantic partner doesn’t mean I don’t feel attraction in general. Also, it’s heavily implied that I am canonically pansexual with how I view all humanity as beautiful, plus the fact I wouldn’t mind who I’d have as a partner(as proven by the love suite which although isn’t canon in the sense that it doesn’t physically happen, it is canon in that it is an actual fantasy each of the V3 cast has and thus is canon by way of being in character). Even without the game backing it up I am indeed pansexual/panromantic. It’s just weird to me when people see someone who will be openly sexual at times and even going on a rant about their relationship and see that as thinking it means they don’t feel attraction like that or that I’m repulsed by sex and/or romance when I’m literally shown to feel such strong attractions. It’d be like going up to an incredibly loyal husband and being like “oh you must not feel romantic/sexual attraction because you aren’t feeling that way towards anyone else.” Like no? That’s not how it works, they just love their spouse and aren’t a cheater. Same with me even if my circumstances are more strange, even if I do feel those attractions to others I’m not going to actively pursue those feelings without my partner first being 100% okay with it since I am heavily devoted to them as their partner. Also, one last thing is like people treating the false backstory stuff that like would never be possible as if they actually happened, which I don’t blame them for that because it can be confusing especially with the way the ending is so they just treat it as if it was real…but certain obvious things such as being a serial killer or an assassin should obviously make one go “oh yeah that was definitely fake.” But I can understand people treating smaller false details or ones they wouldn’t even think about as not being true such as the idea that I traveled around doing fieldwork. Which I never did because it wouldn’t have been possible in the timeline from when I entered Danganronpa, plus being a minor complicates being able to do so as well. I literally entered as a pale teen who wanted to be there for a specific purpose. I’ll get more into that when I end up posting my whole canon backstory and what truly happened and the parts that were just stuff Team Danganronpa made up, but yeah.

[aryesdanger24]

Hi there, just would like to ask you a quick question on that, because this brings up the idea of someone making a character be shipped with another against their sexuality is something everyone does to everything (people shouting that some characters aren't straight). I think everyone knows that is the case and as long as they aren't overtly rude or pressuring the studio/Viviziepop to change what is in the show, what is the actual harm?

I know you find Alastor to be your awesome demon Ace icon and as a demisexual person I feel the same way with characters when I see someone like me but it never is specifically said out loud for characters. So believe me when I say I understand on a sexuality spectrum standpoint what you are saying.

But...

With Alastor being a cool character design and having lots of tension between multiple enemy characters (and tentacles), it was bound to happen (Rule 34). People see themselves in others and want to write what they feel and hope for.

Also, I feel like any explicit fanfic I have seen for Alastor has the tag "Ace Author" A LOT. They clearly have a different feeling on it and derive some sort of joy from being able to write Alastor in situations. I am not going to explain the reasons of Ace Authors when it comes to Alastor, but there are some Asexuals who don't have that same ideology about him like you do.

"Respectful fun" is open to interpretation unless she says otherwise so I am sorry that you find the situation stressful regarding Alastor being sexualized by multiple communities, but as long as they aren't shoving it in your face or being rude to what is cannon, I personally can't hate that.

To see Alastor's character as just the label of asexual restricts those who are asexual from exploring through fanfiction or fanart of him.

If it personally bothers you then I would suggest finding artists of Alastor you likened following them or at least blogs that are not shipping related in Hazbin and following them so that you can strictly see what you enjoy of Alastor. Definitely, cater to what you wish to see involving Alastor and block what you don't want to see.

Sorry for the long explanation, but I mainly think the same way of any ship or character. Because in the end, they are not real and are fictional tools to tell a story that we connect to. Some connect to the cannon, but others find these characters comforting and as a way to explore, whether the character is straight, gay, Trans, Ace, or queer though usually doesn't matter as much to people as "how do they act", "Do they feel relatable?", "why do I find them so charming?", "I wish I could be as powerful as them", or "why do I feel like they would be good with _____ and if so, why???"

Your opinions are indeed valid though and I totally understand, but I did want to explain technically being on the Ace Spectrum myself. I guess I read your post and felt scared that some Asexuality or other exploring person might be intimidated by such a strong fierce love towards only AroAce Alastor kinning to the point of disliking other explorative or performative forms of media involving him.

I just wanted to add my two cents on the matter even though I know you probably don't agree with it (which I can understand) but I feel this way about any character being seen as straight or gay or some other form of themselves as a genuine compliment to the complexity of character the original projects. Their characteristics so stable and recognizably them that authors of fanfics can change the character and everyone still knows who it is.

It is fascinating and as a person who writes fanfic as an outlet, I find fanfiction to be cathartic for what I need to be.

Alastor is a fantastic character and even though he is canonly Ace, I am personally glad people are loving his character enough to explore their ideas. It is the highest form of appreciation and love for a character to me.

(This went way too long sorry for adding this if you hate it)😞

Add on to the Alastor Aroace rant

I know Vizi said that you can have "respectful fun" with Alastor ships but there really is no way to "respectfully" ship a aroace character (unless it's queer platonic ig?) I know it's silly to expect a fandom not to ship especially with a character like Alastor but I thought more people would at least attempt to respect his sexuality.

Like I said before if it was any other character's sexuality being disrespected and disregarded people would throw a fit (rightfully so) I'm just sick one of the only aroace characters in the media is being erased by the fandom like this.

ADD ON: in my other post I talked about how people use the excuse when shipping Alastor that aroace is a spectrum while yes it is and that should be respected there are people on the spectrum that don't want any relationships or sexual acts and Alastor is our rep and it should be respected

[variant-archive]

(Preemptive apologies if I'm not entirely understanding your experiences) What you're describing sounds to me like a form of plurality! I will say from personal experience that what you're describing (awareness of other versions of yourself, sometimes off in their own space) is part of how I realized I have a system. If you ever feel like you change notably during kinshifts, or you "become" them temporarily, it could very well be introjects/fictives/whatever term you like most. I'm someone who's introjected my past lives as traumagenic headmates (complicated I know lol), and I've known other people who feel like many-in-one or that have their past/parallel lives as parts like I do for any number of reasons. Communication isn't necessary at all for being plural, nor is being fully aware of specific parts. Sometimes you just "feel" the shift/switch, and it clicks as another aspect of you but doesn't quite click as a headmate.

Even if what I said doesn't help, I wish you a lot of luck in your journey to find the words that best describe you :) I know how alienating it can be sometimes to not know whether you fit into something, but you're definitely not alone

Hey, I really genuinely appreciate you responding! See, the difference in my experience is that I don't shift or switch in any way other than feeling my astral body change from my true self (a love deity furrything lmao) to one of my kintypes (sylveon, alolan ninetales, etc) and my true self can also shapeshift into different body plans (biped, quadruped etc) so I identify as more of a shapeshifter than anything. I guess the fact that I do "become" my kintypes astrally is something. But my identity itself doesn't change at all, just how I percieve my body in my mind. It's so weird, I feel like I'm stretched across the alterhuman spectrum in such an awkward and unusual way to the point that I'm almost a lot of things. I do know I'm otherkin though so I typically use that. Instead of one body, many minds I feel like I'm many bodies, one mind. Although there are barriers between the other shards of my true self in other universes, likely because they're literally in different realities than me. I do have exomemories/exotrauma though, although vague (my memories for specific fictional characters is stronger because I can simply "re-live" them through the media though). I'm considering attempting to connect to both my true self and the other shards in a spiritual way since (to me) that's the only way to penetrate the barriers of reality. Unfortunately I have a lot of difficulty practicing my beliefs though :( because of my anxiety and trauma I never feel safe enough to do it.

Also it's funny but I never feel my astral body change to my humanoid kintypes (rainbow quartz 2.0 etc) but that could be that it's because they look less like my true self than my non-humanoid kins and I find myself seeking to become more like my true self within this life as it alleviates the dysphoria I get from being in this reality sometimes. I also wonder if my other shards are aware of me/kin with me or something. I don't see why not as all of my kintypes are sapient but they simply might not ever learn about what alterhumantiy is

Sorry for the rant lol but thank you, I'm just happy that anyone is open to listening to my experiences and relating to them even though they don't fit neatly into the alterhuman spectrum. I really don't want to intrude into plural spaces when I don't really feel plural but I can't deny how uncannily similar some of my experiences are. I think the way I'd describe myself is "other-self aware". I've been interested in coining new alterhuman terms if I can get the spoons so I might do that. I still want to explore my identity and figure out what would and would not be appropriate first, though. I don't wanna hurt anyone.

[currentshift]

This is technically a repost but its been a while and I found no one last time, soooo.

Quicknotes

Don’t interact with me if you’re a minor. I’m an adult. I have zero interest in chatting up kids, especially in private. 

I’m spiritual kin. I’m only looking for other spiritual kin. I don't care what you are, if you share a source and find me tolerable, come at me, brah. Well--okay, one exception: no kin-for-funners.

This is not a fandom post. I'm trying my best not to be indexed into fandom tags.

Since this seems to matter a lot to those on the opposite end of the spectrum (and because I have zero interest making connections of any sort with people I have to walk on eggshells around): I am proship.

I'm secure enough in my personal beliefs to question and scrutinize them. While I believe I was once these blorbos in a different, past life, (alongside general feykin (the kind that will steal your name but keep a promise to the very letter to their own detriment) and therian feline,) I also acknowledge how batshit cray-cray that sounds. I have my mental gymnastics that I'll hold up to the light when the eggheads discover more concrete evidence about the nature of our universe :P

I think about those philosophical and spiritual things for fun when I get bored (which is a lot of the time).

Lastly, I am a roleplayer. It's separate from my kin stuff, duh, collaborative writing is a hobby--but I mix the two (in that I use kin mems as the basis for my portrayals), so if you see someone out there in the wild using any of these as "headcanons," that's prolly me. It's fun to play pretend as some wayward extension of yourself as if you were still them, you know?

What to Expect

If you do decide to say hi? Nothing. Don’t come at me with expectations. While I like to fancy "me" as being a mishmash blend of who I was and who I am, I still am very much who I currently am, for better or for worse.

Kindating or whatever is an automatic no. I'm an ace and a goblin anyway.

I should also make it very clear that I am bad at keeping in touch. Unless you make it a point to throw me memes or funnies or whatever every now and then until I warm up enough to feel like I can do the same without it annoying you, we probably won't be in contact for very long, if at all.

My Kinlist Obscured By / /s To Avoid Being Indexed

Although I've not obscured the tags so it's pointless. Oh well! Ma/ /jora   (as of 2023 this one may well simply be a soulbond as I first thought) The Moon incident was a display of blasphemy against the Fie/ /rce De/ /ity. His was the Moon; mine was the Sun. But, you know, bringing down the Sun would have made things a bit too quick, and that’s no fun.   I viewed the Oni as a frienemy.   The manga’s pre-story just feels right.   I had experience with the Twili at some point. They used me/my mask to curse Ikana after some treaty or arrangement fell through, lol. This led to them getting banned banished from Termina.

Maj/ /Ora? We were troublesome forest spirits, then minor Twin Deities, that went batshit bonkers when some Goddess started encroaching and inadvertently, probably, stealing our followers(, we were often bad for their health, I guess). We were forced to become "one" when we were sealed away in that Mask by the Fierce Deity who shared a similar fate. :). We're still one in this life, I'm pretty sure. This could stand as a flimsy-whimsy explanation for why I've always felt like I should've have a twin.

Xu/ /e Ya/ /ng   I had a set of blue-black glass vials that were probably not vials but that’s the only word I can think of to call them, do you think I know my glassware? They had etched-white designs near the top and were used to hold powdered herbs and poisons. Probably originated from a different country by trade. Then again, potatoes.   I discovered the Mo Xua/ /nyu of my timeline stuffed his pants to make himself look bigger in certain areas, or to make himself look like he had one, at all. I don’t know which.   The only clear memory I have of Xi/ /ao Xin/ /gchen is from our time in Y/ /i Ci/ /ty. Sunny day, the ruins of an old dock in the middle of a somewhat swampy forested area that had been a lake a long-ass time prior given the, you know, dock. He was laughing at something.

Ga/ /ster   I distinctly remember rigging the microwave, coffee maker, and so on to explode or malfunction in order to observe how Al/ /phys and Sa/ /ns reacted to that kind of thing. If the song I listened to during one of my rare post-fix hallucinations is to be believed (and I have little else to go off of, so sure, why not) then my goal near the end and prior to erasure from my timeline was to Break Everything, Universally Speaking. I can only assume I went off the rails in my old age. Which in turn makes me think the Followers may have been a mystery science cult akin to Pythagoreanism that turned Jonestown. Or perhaps maybe not so Jonestown. Who knows. Ga/ /ster 2 I made a shitty for-fun AU of which I've been fleshing out on its roleplay-oriented blog for the sole purpose of fucknasty porn and all signs point to it from mental images that bear the same impression as any other kin mems to tarot cards to external inquiries.

Sn/ /ake Fr/ /uit I was a Chocobra that attained Cookie form via transformation magic and logic dictates that if that is possible, then so was becoming a Dragon. Lon/ /gan may or may not have annihilated my village and that may or may not have been a big reason for trying to get rid of them, and that incident may or may not have sparked the wanting to become a Dragon ordeal to begin with.

What / Who I’m Looking For

Canonmates, sourcemates, whatever. Kin twins are more than cool, too! Sometimes preferable! Let’s gush over our best boys and beloatheds like the hopeless fucks we are!

The Fi/ /erce De/ /ity, just in general, especially if you’re down for online boardgames.

If you remember those vials? If you remember confiscating those vials? Hi.

If you remember a microwave just fucking exploding in your face? Hi.

Lon/ /gan - I challenge you to a duel to the death in an online boardgame or something.

MD/ /ZS and CR/ /OB kins in particular, if you're uncomfortable with certain ships (Xu/ /eXi/ /ao and whatever the shipname for Lon/ /gan and Sn/ /ake is) it's best you stay away or say as much so I don't expose you to my fluffy as fuck fanatrocities 🤷‍♀️

Methods of Contact

We are already on tumblr. Slide into my DMs. If we’re gucci I can slide you my Discord or something - is what I would say if I were ever on Discord anymore. I'm back on Discord, but I also have instagram. And Deviantart. E-mail's a classic. Or uhh... I can slide you my texting app number, I guess? I can't take or make calls though. I mean technically I can but last time I tried it wouldn't pick up my voice, and also I have sixty free minutes and have to watch advertisements to get more and I don't wanna.

[a-dragons-journal]

not to bring kff discourse into your house, but recently i encountered some people who said that they “didn’t take kin that seriously” but also held spiritual beliefs about their kin types & seemed to genuinely identify as them to at least some extent. and that got me thinking: i bet there’s a lot of ‘kins who feel alienated from the whole otherkin/therian community & how, for lack of a better term, intense it can seem at times, and sort of end up downplaying their own experiences. i know that im not particularly active in the therian community for similar reasons — my theriotype is spiritually & personally important to me, but it’s just one aspect of my life & identity, and i don’t personally feel the need to blog about it or write essays about it or what have you. i think it might be just a more lowkey, not particularly exciting or interesting part of life for some ‘kins

You're absolutely right that a lot of people just don't care enough about their nonhumanity to participate in the community, and that's totally fine - and, let's be real, it's also just one aspect of my life and identity, y'all just only really see me talk about it because I have a sideblog specifically dedicated to it (unless you also follow my main, in which case you do see all the other nonsense I'm invested in and know just how true this is). That's always been the case and it's totally fine; you're not obligated to be super actively engaged with every demographic you're technically a part of.

There's also definitely a fair number of people who are legitimately nonhuman but feel alienated because the community is too intense, which might be a problem or might be fine depending on the individual (because again, you're not obligated to be involved if you don't really care about it enough to do so, but if you want to be involved and feel scared to be that's a problem) - or... because they feel like they're not allowed to have fun with their kintypes, which is the thing I feel like is most likely an actual problem.

But like... honestly, I don't actually know how to fix that at this point. If you're actually active in the community, or even just follow the otherkin tag, you see how much of the content posted there is extremely casual and having fun. I literally just reblogged a for-kicks-and-giggles silly 30 day challenge a couple days ago, and I'm probably on the more serious end of the spectrum as far as typical post content goes. The community is already a lot less hyperserious than it used to be (which I don't think is a bad thing, even if sometimes I wish there was a bit more in the way of serious discussion posts). It honestly seems to me like there's already plenty of space for people to joke around and not be super serious about their 'kinity. Very, very rarely you come across someone who genuinely thinks you shouldn't ever joke around about or have fun with being 'kin or you're a Faker, but it is most definitely not the majority of the community and those people usually find themselves pretty ostracized because they're usually not super enjoyable to be around.

But, to your point on KFF discourse and how that's affected this whole thing, there are people who see "stop claiming this is something you do for fun and that's the entire purpose" and somehow read that as "you're not allowed to have fun with being 'kin at all," and genuinely I do not know why people think the former leads to the latter because it doesn't imply that at all, that's actually a pretty giant leap in logic from one to the other in my humble opinion. Which means I don't really know how to fix it other than to keep banging pots and pans like I already have been about how those two statements are not remotely the same.

But that's just my two cents' worth on the whole "the community's too serious and it drives people away" thing.

[omnidens]

little less talked about autism symptoms i’d like to talk about from an autistic trans man

hello!! happy autism acceptance month! this has been sitting in my drafts for a while but considering the time i’ve decided to add onto it and post it  😸

> autism is comorbid with ptsd, weirdly enough. this means autistic people are more likely to develop trauma from events. an experience that might just seem like a super bad memory to an allistic person can deeply imprint us. this doesn’t mean every little thing for us is trauma, obviously! we’re more susceptible to getting trauma from things like terrible online events and severe school bullying. not to mention that allistic people are just generally shitty to us, so it’s more common for us to have traumatic experiences in the first place. 

> autism can lead to “weird beliefs” (for lack of a better term) like spiritual kin, infinite universe theory/soulmates from other universes, non-religious animism, thinking it’s possible to eventually get superpowers, etc. a majority of people who use fictosexual and objectosexual labels are autistic, and a lot of otherkin/”kinnies” are autistic too for this reason. we percieve the world very differently which can lead to spiritual or world beliefs that are not as accepted by society. this does not mean that every person with these beliefs is autistic, however! 

> high sensitivity to taste, sometimes in odd ways. i can only eat goldfish from the bags, not the cartons, because they just... don’t taste the same to me? a lot of things that taste pretty much the same to allistic people feel different to us, but often we’re not able to point out why or how they taste different.

> autism can affect attraction. back to the ficto/objecto point, a subject not really touched on by allistic people is that a lot of the time. it can be significantly harder for us to feel attraction to real people, and it’s more likely for an autistic person to be asexual or aromantic. autism can lead to more attraction to things like characters and objects than real people. i am personally gray-asexual myself!

> autism can affect gender identity. something simple like “i’m a trans man” can be percieved as something a lot more complex; like, for example, i see myself as more of a vague “man”, my interests and parts of my identity leaking into my gender identity. this can be manifested in things like xenogenders (though by no means is every person who uses xenogenders autistic), especially xenogenders related to a special interest!

obviously, not every autistic person experiences these symptoms! autism is a spectrum. i do not experience symptoms related to hyperempathy or auditory processing for example! the only real things pretty much all of us experience are issues with socialization and stimming. i just wanted to bring to light some things that are seen as “cringy” or are just little known about that are actually often related to autism. 

if you’re allistic feel free to rb this, just... don’t add weird comments. if you’re autistic, feel free to add on with other lesser known traits!! 

[angelsndragons]

my quick 'nb4 the finale' take on exu:

aabria is out here doing some really deep shit.

no seriously, this woman is connecting mechanics and lore and worldbuilding in a direct, fascinating way that i honestly haven't seen a lot.

by which i mean, look, has anyone ever sat down and really thought about why different classes have overlapping spell lists? from an in universe perspective?

no, seriously, really think about this. what does it say about the world and its history that bards, wizards, clerics, druids, sorcerers, and all the half/3rd caster classes can utilize similar spells? mechanically speaking, each of these classes gets its magic from a different source yet somehow there is always overlap.

let's also think about the fact that matt didn't just create new spells for his school of dunamancy. the explorer's guide to wildemount lists several older spells which can be classified as dunamancy. what does the fact that we can reclassify, indeed are reclassifying in universe, say about the world at large?

most importantly, aabria is pointing a giant neon sign at this bit from the guide (emphasis mine):

The Creators that remained, wishing to salvage their home, their creations, and their realized selves, were forced to take up arms and learn to protect that which they valued most. They organized their followers and taught them how to draw from the powers of creation on their own: to build, to change, and to destroy, all without the aid of divine power. Mortals learned to defend themselves through practices such as alchemy or by bending the very fabrics of existence, though on a smaller scale than that of their creators.

This gift was the knowledge of arcane magic, which the good children used to drive away their traitorous kin, banish the turned Creators to their own prison-like planes, and ultimately destroy the Primordials, scattering the chaotic elements to their own planes of existence.

yeah, just stop and think about that for a second. the knowledge of arcane magic was a gift from the gods just as divine magic is. meaning not only are all beings capable of magic but that magic itself is a singular force. it's not a particle, discrete and observable, it's the light spectrum. there's overlap because it's all the same thing. what makes the classes different is which energy on the light spectrum they can interact with, like how some people cannot see reds and greens or how others can see/hear ultraviolet and infrared. how only the most highly trained specialists with the right instruments can see x-rays/gamma/etc in action.

everything aabria is doing in this campaign points to unified magic and the time before the primordial wars when everything was one. when the prime material plane was the only plane in existence. when magic was simply called power and used and shaped by choices. because that too is what the prime material plane is about: choice and possibility. it is the literal beating, breathing heart of the multiverse. it's a place where, as gilmore so eloquently put it, "the vestige is simply power, and it is whatever you make it into. power simply is." this is a world of raw creation/potential surrounded by space and time.

sounds an awful lot like dunamis and the luxon, doesn't it?

[backgroundelf]

In ur reblog of a post I reblogged u said you were having Eöl thoughts… could u tell me some?

This got long, I'm sorry.

The reason I am having Eöl thoughts is because I am currently working on a fic centered on his backstory. Tolkien gives us very little information about him and what information there is changes depending on which version of the story you read (ex. he is at different points described as Sinda, Avari, or a Green Elf). That being said, my thoughts around him are coming from a few different ideas mixing together, and the result is a kind-of out there headcanon. 1. Pengolodh, a survivor of the Fall of Gondolin and the in-universe author of many parts of what would become the Silmarillion, would have a lot of reasons to be biased against Eöl and Maeglin, so anything he says really needs to be taken with a grain of salt.

2. Why is Eöl called 'the Dark Elf'? A dark elf in most of Tolkien's work simply refers to any elf that didn't go to Valinor and thus didn't see the light of the Two Trees. So what about Eöl is special that leads to that particular epithet? In the same place where he is listed as Avari (The Peoples of Middle Earth) he is also called a darkened elf, not just a dark elf. 3. In addition to being the Dark Elf, he is also a noted loner, which is unusual for elves. The only elves that live alone have suffered some trauma that causes them to pull back from their kin (Maglor, Daeron). What trauma/other source caused him to live alone? Related, why is he so angry/afraid when his freedom of movement is going to be challenged? I know most people wouldn't react well to 'you're stuck in this city forever' but death over imprisonment is a pretty extreme first reaction. 4. In the Book of Lost Tales, there is a rumor in Gondolin that Maeglin is part orc. This could be (likely is) a reference to Eöl's "orcish" actions and a way for the survivors of the Fall to deal with their loss by making Maeglin more of a monster, but what if there was some truth to it? Eöl was not in the city for long before his execution, but it was long enough that people (specifically people in positions of power) would have seen him and known what he looked like.

5. Eöl despises sunlight, traveling only at night. As seen by his pursuit of Aredhel and Maeglin, he can travel under the sun, but only under extreme duress.

6. Escaped thralls were not treated well when they tried to return to their people.

So mixing all that together has resulted in my headcanon for Eöl's backstory: He was an elf that was captured and taken to Angband. While there, he was one of the elves that was going to be turned into an orc. However, he managed to escape part way during the process (or alternatively, he wasn't going to be an orc and is just a regular thrall, but I wanted to tie in the 'part orc' Maeglin rumor). This leaves him somewhere between an elf and an orc.

I know this is a bit of a reach with 0 canon backing, but I could see how him at least being a former thrall would explain a few things. Why does he have a confusing origin? Angbang scrambled his brains and he doesn't quite remember who he used to be. Why is he called the Dark Elf? Angband did something to him that darkened him. Why does he hate the sun? Side effect of whatever happened in Angband. Why are the swords he forged cursed? Something something he was tainted in Angband so everything he makes is bad now. Why is he all alone in the woods? Elvish society doesn't deal well with former thralls (and depending on how obvious his partial orcification is, he may not look 100% elf anymore). Why is Maeglin rumored to be part orc? Because depending on how you view the elf/orc spectrum, he technically is.

So those are my Eöl thoughts. Thanks for asking and if anyone is still here, thank you for reading my rambling.

[plurals-helping-plurals]

I'm so sorry this is so long but I've been venting about stuff to some people I trust, a lot of them being systems, and like everyone said that I sounded like one. I've been working on researching and trying to figure out if I am or not and I'm.. confused...

Most of my life, I feel like I don't know who I am. I use multiple names but, I don't know how to explain it besides each name feels like a different person. I feel like I'm a stranger in my own body a lot and there's times where I feel like I'm viewing my life through a camera len. My memory is the same way, but more like I'm viewing someone else's life. Sometimes I do something I call "autopilot" where I zone out super hard and come back to doing something or having done something I have no memory of. It doesn't happen often and I've always attributed it to my adhd but I've been told it might be something different... I also sometimes get thoughts that aren't mine. They sound like my voice, save for maybe one voice, but the thoughts are very much not mine. Similar things happen with my emotions, where They're Not Mine™.

I'm otherkin but.. it's hard to explain, a lot of my identities feels like they're seperate from me, unless I'm experiencing a kin shift. Like, when I'm not shifted, I'm me and the kintypes are them. Seperate. But when I'm experiencing a shift, we're one and the same.

I don't know what any of this means but The One Voice That's Not Mine™ has been adamantly opposing what others have been telling me and saying things like I'm making stuff up and seeing stuff where there is nothing and.. I can't really bring it up with my therapist? Because I already had to fight her about getting tested for autism the, like, five times I brought that up so I don't think she'll be too enthused about helping me with this....

I just don't know what to do and part of me is terrified that once I stop focusing on figuring this out, it'll all disappear, like how it feels with my bpd diagnosis. Especially since, if I am plural, there doesn't seem to be a big distinction between alters.

Do you have any advice or anything?

Keep in mind: We are not licensed professionals. From what you’re describing to us, it sounds as if you could be somewhere on the plural spectrum, but you will need to do some self-exploration to figure it out for certain or not. 

Dissociative symptoms are quite common among Autistic and ADHDavers, but it is not required for a diagnosis.  Autism and ADHD even have their own spot on the plural spectrum (autigenic / davegenic). There are also non-dissociative autigenic/davegenic systems as well. So, it will be your job to sort that out for yourself if you choose to explore this avenue of yourself. 

I would say that there is no harm in testing out the waters of your plurality by trying to engage more with the Others™

But don’t get too wrapped up in labels or diagnoses, as you go along on this journey of self-exploration. Do your research, and do your best to focus on just experiencing and being. 👌 - Mod Apocalypse

[system-of-a-feather]

You know, one of the things XIV had pointed out that today that now that I'm thinking about it is kind of an interesting point, is that within our system that is generally Buddhist adjacent (ie a lot of the values and philosophy we hold reflect similarly into Buddhist principles that we actually heavily respect and value those who follow it like a sibling while being our own thing); XIV is arguably one of the parts in our system that shares ideologically the most values with Buddhist concepts and is the most dedicated to said values and principles - but that most probably would not expect that consider 1) Lucille is BETTER at actually applying them to day to day life and 2) most people think of Buddhist principles and think of peaceful zen guys (which is probably the typical approach to applying that into life, cite Lucille who accidentally ended up in that realm)

But largely, as he sees it - rather than applying Buddhist-adjacent philosophy and theory to personal life - he thinks that a lot of what plagues and suffers society has a lot in common with what Buddhists also comment on being an issue. An excess for individuality, an excess need for excess, a sense of disconnect from ones self and others and the world as a whole, a heavy value for the materialistic and immediate over the larger spectrum and whole picture and things that persist beyond the material.

Where parts like Lucille and I are very soft in our life philosophy being somewhat rooted in those ideals and have our approach to our personal life being guided by that and thus like to lean into the sense of peace that comes with accepting things as they happen and all that; XIV sees it as a needed application to the greater whole and I guess in his words "what is a better example of a successful commune that a buddhist monastery" and he and I both know that its FAR more complex than that, but he meant it on a very very surface level

There is a great peace in being able to live in harmony and not stress over how much you are or are not contributing and to not have that hungry drive for more and more excess that pushes people to feel like they have to contribute more than they can. If as a society we were to accept our losses and put aside our greed and desire for excess and power and learn to just live as people among people, it would be really neat.

Over my healing lately I've been reflecting on a lot of the "zen" principles and perspectives to life that Lucille has because I've largely been slowly picking up his role but for the subsystem and I've really come to deeply appreciate the power and ability to let things go and just accept things that come on a face value and appreciate things as the whole and many pieces that work together to make things happen. I don't know I don't have my words together on the topic so cleanly strung together because its one of those things I think about a lot more than I... THINK about if that makes sense, but I think I kinda see a little more into how XIV sees things with that in mind. Where as Lucille and I are happy handling our lives like this, I think its a little harder for him to be satiated just fixing things for himself - which is problematic thing in excess, but an honestly.... very considerate thing from a guy who is such an asshole 24/7.

I dunno, maybe I'm just reading too much into it because I was watching an episode of House for Self Care and realizing that House really does have a place on XIV's kin list for a reason.

Anyways, I'm just rambling about literally myself technically so #SoCringe uwu you sound like a lonely person who needs real friends uwu; Whatever, I'm not gonna apologize. XIV is the person I work regularly with to make this life work well. He's a larger part in my life than literally anyone else so I'll talk about him all I want even if he exists in my head. People can deal with it #ShitXIVTaughtMe

-Riku